daybook: the journal of an artist by anne truitt

7/27/2019 Daybook: The Journal of an Artist by Anne Truitt

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Sb A Ds Sm & Shs, I.1230 A h AmsNw Yk, NY 10020

Cygh © 1982 by A T

I ygh © 2013 by Ay Ngg

Ths wk ws glly blsh 1982 by Ph Bks.

All ghs s, lg h gh hs bk s h y m whs. F m ss Sb Sbsy RghsDm, 1230 A h Ams, Nw Yk, NY 10020.

Fs Sb bk Ob 2013

SCRIBNER sg gs mks Th Gl G, I.,s ls by Sm & Shs, I., h blsh hs wk.

F m b sl ss blk hss, ls Sm& Shs Sl Sls 1-866-506-1949 [email protected].

Th Sm & Shs Sks B bg hs y l . Fm m bk , h Sm & Shs SksB 1-866-248-3049 s wbs www.smsks.m.

C sg by Chsh L

C hgh h h © .g/Bgm A Lby

M h U Ss Am

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Lby Cgss Clgg--Pbl s lbl.

ISBN 978-1-4767-4098-0ISBN 978-1-4767-4405-6 (bk)

Ls m LETTERS OF RAINER MARIA RILKE: 1892–1910,sl by J B G M. D. H N. Cygh 1945by W. W. N & Cmy, I., w © 1972 by M. D. H N.Us by mss W. W. N & Cmy, I.



introduction vii

Introduction

I’s lg b s’s s. I Day-

book, A T s m: h ly l, h hghs

h mkg , h hlh, h ws (l,sh, ml), s wll s h s . H bk

s s g, h ml h

jys ss ss .

Wh I s Daybook I ws s. My y

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skgs; h gl s g , l by ly -

ss wh s g glsss. B Daybook ms; s

hghl, g ss l. My , my

sg A T’s hs hg,

hgh. As s I ws shg wm ss wh

w y, sly-m, mm. I w kw



viii introduction

hw hy mg h ls, hw hy sk wh h .

A sm lk l llg: Hw hs wm -

, y y? Hw hy m hl ?

Nw I m Daybook wh qss. Wh ssss, s? Hw s s’s sl l l-

h ? Wh s ls g s h s hs

ml g lks bk h by wk? Wh

s sh s wh sh lks h?

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sgly. Sh h bs s ll h sls—s,h, mh, hl, wm, bw,

lly gmh—g l, s h

s h y m. Sh ws b 1921 ws

ss wh bh h Mmlsm Cl Fl m-

ms, b ws q h lm s

s. I Daybook sh sbs h s bm s, h g, whh ws g g

h l wl. Sh sbs s h Ggg-

hm Msm Nw Yk, wh sh sw h s B

Nwm g: “My whl sl l .” Sh w

hm bg mk h sls h w h bg-

g h m wk.Daybook ws w js A T h s-

hb h C Glly A. Rss

sg s y s. Th s s,

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b . B h s s l, b m-

bl b . S h jl bgs sm bms m g, s. Sh ws:

“Th ms mg lg lm s s



introduction ix

s h s sl g sl wk ssly

lg h ’s w ms m ssy.”

I 2009 I ws bl s A T’s wk h s

m. Th Hshh Msm Wshg, D.C., hhm y, gz shms hb h wk;

sh h 2004. I ws wh my N Ghm, wh

ws A T. Wlkg bw h

hm-sl lms wh h sbl ls, I l hmbl

b. Th mk hs sls h sh my

s b lg; I wl h lk hk h. I lk N hgh b h wys w ll hg h h,

h bl s , wsm, l m

s s.

A T m w bks. Sh k mkg

l mh b h h. Sh h mly sh

bh h h q l, ly Daybook b w sbsq bks, Turn Prospect.

H hghs sll l, ly ss b

l ll sls.

H ws h s.

—Audrey Niffenegger

February 4, 2013



preface xi

Preface

I Dmb 1973, Al 1974, I ws g -

s hbs my wk sl wg: h

s h Why Msm Am A Nw Yk,h s h C Glly A Wshg,

D.C., wh I l. Wl Hs ws h bh

hbs; h s, h w ll my wk h ms m

l , wh my , hs whh wks w

b shw, sll h hbs.

Th hs - my wk, m, sw m lk l w.

Th bjs h I h b mkg ys ys w

w sbly , my hm h s m, s

h h bl y. B ws hs s h s-

whh m. Th wks s l, h

s w s, . I ws I mysl wh, h lg hm sly w wk, l s l. I l z,

s h s z, wh y sss. I slwly w



xii preface

m h h m sbl my wk bm, h lss sbl I

gw mysl. I ly slg lz, I bg

s h I h s h ss ly my

ss b ls z hs by my , ms h s wh hs k , ws

k I l wh g bly

by my w wk. C, lly, by h

lgs I h hgh g , w s bj-

h I l mysl blz by hm, slss bs

I h bj s. I ls l hmy l m ms wh hs lgs s I ws mk-

g h wk h m mysl hs ms -

hs. I ws s h s m h sh h

s m g wy s-. I h h s lg

bg bgh slly js, b blqly.

Ths lgs m ss m l I m slwly lly h h, lhgh I h b

sls yg g h h s my l, I

h wh h s.

Ths gsh whlm m l, ly mg

q wh mhss, m h I l

smly my l y s wh h.S I bgh bw bk lk h s whh I m

l s llg, hs sl y (h s

s Az), bg w, sg

b y mg wg s lg m s sm

gh. Th ly lm I s ws l h s sk.

My h ws h I hs hsly I wl s hw s mysl m s h wl mysl

whl my w ys.



preface xiii

As I w, my l s y . I k

my h hl, Al, My, Sm, wh

h m (1974) w , s, . I

k l g ll h ss h ll h l wm lg wh h hl

l. I b wh h hyhml lg

my wg, s-hk , s h y w

mysl w wh sbl lg bg mg.

I bg s hw my l h m sl s I ws lg ,

hw lly bly I h bm s.I 1978 my s ghl ws b I l m

m w, hs m wh h h I mgh

b bl llm mysl h l s I l

g h s my hl m s hy m

lh, wy m m.

S hs bk hs m s l wy. I h my js s lly k h l my s hy l

h ls.

—Yaddo

September 1981



Tucson,

Arizona

June

1974



daYBooK 3

6 J u n e

I hv cm h Az vs f s

bcs I m f cmf f h ss f ls

w, whch hv lf m wh gl: css ls f hgh flg. I h sp mhs ppg f w

spcv xhbs, Nw k Wshg-

, h cs f vs ws mch swf f -

sg. I js h kp wg ll p, vy whch

wy. I yō I c sw wm sg y clhs h

m Rv. Th wly lghs f clh ppl lg bbs f bl g yllw g

. Th v sh v h cls, h clh whpp

h swf wvs, h wm hl h sms f

lf. I ws sp bsss. I fl s sp b h

wg f ll h hpp m s fs.

Flyg v h s ysy, I f myslf lf f my pccps by cg sly h vyhg ws

cv. S whl fm h , ccmscb by s glbl



4 anne truitt

hz, h h cf m blly s cx ll s

w, chg h g swp. I h h slg mps-

s h I ws lkg smhg llg. Evy lc

pls f cl ws m, mch, chllg, pls,mbc by h, f pp, ch c

q pp p f h whl. Th sgh ls wh

whch hm bgs hv mk h l mpss

f ff llgc, bsc hs f h -

l. Lkg w hs fcs, I bg s my lf s

smwh bw hs w s f h l hbsc, blgg ly h h h h.

I my wk s s I m ccsm ssg sch

ss: fml ps bw my sss, whch

l, my f hy bh msk ll-

m. Wh I w sgh l ccv f g-

m f gbl lms ll my w, I vbly mpsmy w m. I clz hs , g

ccssbl my sss. I s s ccssbl l clz.

A y f hs s ccl f s. I c h

s I lv fm y y, bsvg flg wh gs

bh s s myslf, c spcs f wh s

hppg h m, s f mgz by c f psy-chc gvy. I hv l s hs c, ly s

cy g lg wh s chcs lhgh h c

slf ms myss m. I smms fl s f I recog-

nize my w xpc. I s flg k h f x-

pcly mg f sg plc, f bg c

sl ssf—sl f s myslf whfls v m, ssf b s m. I s xhlg.

I hv f h hs pcss f slc, v whch I



daYBooK 5

hv vlly cl, sls hs spcs f my xp-

c h ms ssl m my wk bcs hy

ch my w m wh lf pss m. I s s

f h xl qvls f hs whch I ly sm myss wy kw. I cch hs qv-

ls, I hv sy “ ” ll h m, kp my cp-

vy wh s m lly p. Pccp s fl

hs pcss. Vlbly s mplc ; p, vbl.

7 J u n e

Smms I y “ ff.” I wsh I cl lv lw ky

plc lk h mbl hm c hgh whch I wlk

ls vg g wy, s-smllg wlgh. A mk-

shf hm hb lsly cc by wg, hm-

m phs. “Hll” cll h h by m lg vhs c, by h ccmpyg hs wf, wh c pl

f cks. A wm wg h lw (b w f sq)

mk h ws wy. I s lk lk . Sh s sh

hp wl. I s, ys, w’v h gh. Nhg mch,

ll hs, b vyhg : sl , bcs s, cmfg.

8 J u n e

My h s . I fl mb wgh hgg ff my gh m

s f lg qck wh lf. Th mks my f-g

wg pp smply mks, physcl cs s mglss

s chck cks h . Ths s w hg m s, I spps, h lg f w’s blck. Sm vl cc-

my sp hs g flcc. I hv l v h ys



6 anne truitt

(h s lwys h fghg shw—s fv?) hw

bhv. Rs s ccp h sms sy s, b I

f s, f s pcsly hs vs ps f

myslf h pss ms bsly jgl. , f ll h ss f h spcvs, I m ms

pfly gfl hv h h ppy see my

wk. Th w mms. Lk h gh h

Cc Glly f A wh Wl Hpps I wlk

h m whch w w ppg h xhb. Th

sclps s lg ws, bly vsbl, l ly mly by skylgh. W h lghs. I wlk p

w h k cs bw h mssv fms, ms

f whch w v m, hl bh my hs

fl hm, chg hm. Thy s h w

spc, h w m, I ws gl h psc.

9 J u n e

Cscsss sms m csgly ccvbl. I

kw m m h I kw hg f s ,

g, fc xcp wh I xpc hgh h sl

f hs physcl by. Th my by my feel sgh is. S sms ywy wh I mmb hw I cc-

slly hl myslf sp fm . I blk. Wh w

lv h h ms lc h f h lv s hl

h sp, b my by s h c f hs I hv lv.

I fl h bs s my bs, lms llly. Ths c

s ms. I cs, mbly, pss. Is pw sp f m. Th lv s fx, sly ccssbl

mmy, smhw s my by s cl clh.



daYBooK 7

All bs hv hs c. I s h mgc f wg

hm. H, wh my pcl chs h pp, s h plc

whch by hls slf c. Th l mks, wh

f ss, h xpc f by— spkwbl xpc s h l, spc s .

I ws h c f hs xpc h I ws f h

l fs h ly ffs wh I ml hm bs.

Clsscl by hl s f m. I ps h mks

f xpc, h ls lmps lf by physcl psych-

lgcl vs ssml wh sch ffcly h hy hm pm plsc chgs. Elvira, m 2

w sy, hl h h hgh v h chs; h

ys p clmsy ff s wh h hpp

h. H h clg h h, bch s k

h p f h sch ck. Sh mv f hslf

my hs h spp, sck sss shcl js bly m, blc s pcsly wgh

h h csm ll h vl fc.

Wh I ws l, bf my mg, h I ws sl

wl v b bl b chl, h pv f

hs plpbly physcl kwlg h wch m; I

kw h wh I w kw f myslf h b kwphysclly. I cl , , ccp h f f m-

g s I ws h, wm mk by xpc, v-

l my ps s. Wh I ml mk, s

fml by f h, I ws cg mbs f

wh I hv w, h g f ffy-h, bcm. Th sclp-

fl s bcs I kw h m, cl gss xcp mly, hw mch vl fc s g

h cs f ssmlg xpc. Th mg h sclp-



8 anne truitt

cvy ws skw w p; wch pps

ws w cc. Th js pp f clsscl

fm s, I hv l, xpc pp. I w

fl my w s by s whl, pl wh ls lmps,b ls wh vly hy sv mk.

1 3 J u n e

A wm s ls h s. A yg plcm cm

sk s wch f h. Sl—“sh w’ kw whsh s”— ps, ’”, slvlss -pc yllw

ss wh g flws . Sh blgs sg

hm b hlf ml wy css h s. W ll kw sh

wll b bl svv h h, b °. “Sh w’ b

g shp,” h plcm s gly. W wch f h

b s y yllw g sps h s.

1 4 J u n e

Ls gh, f h fs m my wks, I ly slp. I

wk c ls h ll ss f h s gh,

l, chlly w, pll v m h wh wl bl-mgmm blk. I h fg wh slp s lk—

kgm ll s w.

1 5 J u n e

Ths mg h lgh sck h bck f my h sch sl s vk pls schg f wy. A Sh, s

cl; cmls cl hv vs ly ys f vl.



daYBooK 9

Ths qck flsh k m bck h Shōj G

yō, p. Th, wlkg lg h phs, whch m-

mg pchs f my vyg msss,

my chl I s ply gms wh scl, w-g h mlfl gs clgg h sf ms f

h s f g pmvl fss h gl

v hs.

I hs b ply sch ply wh scl h hs w my

h vls bw vs, wh s hp-

pg wh “hg” s hppg. Th mg f whs clpp s fx h slss vl bw h

clps. s s, h mg f xpc s hl h

fly sh vls bw ssy pcps.

I s clly b bsv bbs yg chl.

Th mh listens h bby. Sh s h l cv-

s h bby’s h s bl psychlgclly hl hchl, pv h chl’s flg sss. Ths s h blss f

mhh, hs hvly cpcy mk h hm

bg hppy. Ths sm m bls h mh

cch h bby’s fss bf hy bcm pfl

f h bby ccp. Th f mhh s m

hs mbl jsm h chl’s cs f xpc,cchg h vls sch wy h h chl c l

xpl ply wh cmg hm.

I s w h m c fl gy wh hs chl-

b hs ffbl cmmc wh h

mh s sblsh s vsbly. M ms ccslly fl

mg k f jlsy, ms pclly s bcsh c b c lf. A ms b xcb

by h v kwlg h hs s pcsly h k f



10 anne truitt

g h ccs mkg lv. I lz wh my

bbs w b hw mch hs l xcls fm hs

s f blss wh hm my hv h my hsb. I wsh I

h. Th lgh ws s whl h sm m h hms b bsh by h sm glw, spclly s cm

fm s l by hm.

1 7 J u n e

Th l wm s . Sh ws f h s ffm h.

Th yg plcm s, “Sh w’ kw wh sh

s,” b I hk sh my hv kw vy wll. Sh lf h

sg hm h vg—hmcmg m h

s, wh ll h mls hk w. Th l wm

ly w wh hm.

My h s sll .

1 9 J u n e

Cc s I hv b hs ps mhs c s l-lgly s I cl cmplx s, I hv bcm

l h fqcy wh whch ppl c ly

h cx f h w ssmps. C cccs

c h pp b pf f hs ssmps. A wf

my ssm, f xmpl, h h hsb lvs h. Ths

my bcm h f f h w cs f hp f hs cs. If h ss h ll h m,

s bcs h s h syccs. If h ps hs



daYBooK 11

clhs f h pck p, s bcs h lghs h c

f hm. Sh fgs h s ly wh h cx f h

ssmps h hs cs ffc. I s js

sp fm h h cvc f bscs h h h f xpc, gsly lvg s

bv h vl chcks blcs f h hly-bly f lf.

I lv Az mw , f bf vl

chck my hshl Wshg, wll g f w

mhs Sg Spgs, Nw k. Th,

h ccsm cmpy f h ss, I wll wk,scl.

daybook: the journal of an artist by anne truitt

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