Vidovi

Marija VidoviLiterary Translation WorkshopEnglish DepartmentUniversity of Zadar24 January 2015ovjek koji nije vjerovao u sreuJerome K. JeromeUao je na stanici u Ipswichu sa sedam razliitih tjednika pod rukom. Primijetio sam da svaki od njih osigurava itatelja u sluaju smrti ili ozljede uzrokovane eljeznikom nesreom. Odloio je prtljagu na policu iznad sjedala, skinuo eir i poloio ga na susjedno sjedalo, obrisao elavu glavu crvenim svilenim rupiem i zatim se staloeno primio ispisivanja imena i adrese na svake od sedam novina. Sjedio sam nasuprot njemu i itao satirini list. Uvijek ponesem neto starog humora kad putujem; smatram da smiruje ivce.Na prolasku kroz Manningtree, prelazei preko skretnica vlak je trznuo, a konjska potkova koju je paljivo odloio na policu iznad sjedala propala je kroz mreu i, praena muzikalnim zvukom, pala mu na glavu.Nije se inio ni iznenaen ni ljutit. Zaustavivi rupiem krvarenje iz rane, sagnuo se i podigao potkovu, bacio na nju, kako mi se uinilo, prijekoran pogled i paljivo je izbacio kroz prozor. Je li vas ozlijedila?, upitao sam.Bilo je to glupo pitanje, rekao sam sam sebi im sam ga izgovorio. Ta je stvar teila skoro kilogram i pol; radilo se o iznimno velikoj i tekoj potkovi. voruga na glavi mu je naoigled rasla. Samo idiot ne bi vidio da je ovjek ozlijeen. Oekivao sam razdraljiv odgovor. I sam bih tako odgovorio da sam na njegovom mjestu. Meutim, umjesto toga inilo se da on pitanje smatra prirodnim i ljubaznim izrazom suosjeanja.Malo, odgovorio je.to ste radili s njom?, upitao sam. Nije ba uobiajeno za putnika da nosi potkovu sa sobom. Leala je na cesti ispred kolodvora, objasnio je. Uzeo sam je za sreu.Presloio je rupi tako da hladnija povrina doe u dodir s vorugom, dok sam ja mrmljao neto genijalno o nedokuivosti Providnosti.Da, rekao je, imao sam neto sree u ivotu, ali nikad nije ispalo dobro.Rodio sam se jedne srijede, nastavio je, a to je, vjerujem da znate, najsretniji dan na koji se ovjek moe roditi. Majka mi je bila udovica, a nitko od rodbine nije htio nita uiniti za mene. Govorili su da bi pomagati djeaku roenom srijedom bilo kao prodavati snijeg Eskimima; a ujak je, kad je umro, ostavio sve do zadnjeg novia mom bratu Samu, kao neku vrstu odtete jer se ovaj rodio u petak. Ja sam dobio samo savjete o dunostima i odgovornostima za bogatstvo kad ono jednog dana stigne, te zahtjeve i molbe da ih ne zaboravim kad se jednom obogatim.Zastao je spremajui svoje razne papire za osiguranje i stavljajui ih u unutranji dep kaputa.Tu su zatim crne make, nastavio je; za njih kau da donose sreu. Jao, nikad nije bilo crnje make od one koja me slijedila u moje odaje u ulici Bolsover prve noi kad sam se uselio.Zar vam nije donijela sreu?, zapitkivao sam, vidjevi da je zastao.Oi su mu poprimile zamiljen izraz.Pa, naravno da to ovisi, odgovorio je sanjivo. Moda nikad nismo bili jedno za drugo, moete uvijek gledati stvari s te strane. Ipak, volio bih da sam pokuao.Sjedio je zurei kroz prozor, i na trenutak nisam htio prekidati njegova oito bolna sjeanja.to se onda dogodilo?, svejedno sam naposljetku upitao.Trgnuo se iz sanjarenja.O, rekao je. Nita posebno. Morala je otii iz Londona na neko vrijeme, i ostavila mi je svog kanarinca da se brinem za njega dok nje nema.Ali nije bila vaa krivica, uvjeravao sam ga.Ne, moda nije, sloio se, ali dolo je do zahlaenja koje su drugi pourili iskoristiti.Ponudio sam joj i maku, dodao je, vie sebi u bradu.Sjedili smo i puili u tiini. Osjeao sam da bi tjeiti stranca zvualo loe.Crno-bijeli konji takoer donose sreu, primijetio je, lupkajui lulom o prozorski okvir. Jednom sam imao jednoga.to vam je uinio?, upitao sam.Zbog njega sam izgubio najbolji dom u ivotu, glasio je jednostavan odgovor. Gazda je to podnosio due nego to sam imao pravo oekivati; ali ne moete zadrati ovjeka koji je uvijek pijan. Dovodi vas na zao glas.Istina, sloio sam se.Vidite, nastavio je, nikad nisam dobro podnosio alkohol. Nekima ne bude skoro nita, a mene bi ve prva aa dokrajila. Nisam mu bio vian.Ali zato ste pili?, ustrajao sam. Nije Vas konj tjerao da pijete, zar ne?Pa, ovako je to bilo, objasnio je, i dalje njeno masirajui vorugu koja je sad bila veliine jajeta. ivotinja je pripadala jednom gospodinu koji je obilazio vinsku rutu, pa je obiavao poslovno posjetiti skoro svaku krmu na koju bi naiao. I zato tog konjia niste mogli provesti pored neke krme barem ja nisam mogao. Spazio bi ih etvrt milje ranije i uputio se ravno prema vratima. U poetku sam se borio s njim, no trebalo mi je pet do deset minuta da ga odvuem, a ljudi bi se znali skupiti uokolo i kladiti. Mislim da bih ga moda na kraju i zadrao da nije bilo istunca koji je jedan dan zastao i poeo govoriti svjetini s druge strane ulice. Nazvao me Hodoasnikom, a konjia 'Polionom' ili nekim takvim imenom, i nastavio vikati da se moram boriti s njim za nebesku krunu. Otad su nas zvali Polly i Hodoasnik, bore se za krunu. Razdrailo me to, uistinu jest, pa sam pred prvom krmom pred koju je stao siao i naruio dupli viski. I tako je poelo. Trebale su mi godine da se odviknem. Ali otad je uvijek bilo isto, nastavio je. Nisam bio ni dva tjedna na prvom radnom mjestu kad mi je gazda za Boi poklonio gusku od osam kilograma.Pa, to Vam nije moglo natetiti, primijetio sam. To je bila prilino sretna okolnost.To su i ostali zaposlenici rekli, odgovorio je. Koliko se znalo, taj stari gospodin nikad u ivotu nikome nije nita poklonio. 'Svia mu se', govorili su; 'koji si ti srekovi!'Duboko je uzdahnuo. Osjetio sam da tu ima jo neeg.to ste uinili s njom?, pitao sam.U tom je i bio problem, odgovorio je. Nisam znao to bih s njom. Dao mi ju je ba na Badnjak, u deset naveer, taman kad sam odlazio. ' Biggles, braa Tiddling poslala su mi gusku', rekao mi je dok sam mu pomagao obui kaput. 'Ba lijepo od njih, ali meni ne treba, uzmite je Vi!'Naravno da sam bio veoma zahvalan, to sam mu i rekao. Zaelio mi je sretan Boi i izaao. Umotao sam gusku u smei papir i stavio je pod ruku. Bila je to lijepa ptica, ali teka. U skladu s okolnostima, a i kako je bilo Boino vrijeme, pomislio sam da bih se mogao poastiti aom piva. Uao u sam u mirnu krmicu na uglu ulice Lane i stavio gusku na ank.'Kolika je', ree krmar; 'fino ete omastiti brk sutra.'Njegove su me rijei potaknule na razmiljanje i tad mi je prvi put sinulo da zapravo ne elim pticu nisam od nje imao nikakve koristi. Iao sam na jug provesti blagdane s obitelji svoje gospojice u Kentu.Je li to ona gospojica s kanarincem?, prekinuo sam ga.Ne, odgovorio je. Ovo je bilo prije te. A zbog ove guske o kojoj Vam priam se ova naljutila. Njezini su imali veliku farmu; bilo bi besmisleno odnijeti im gusku, a u Londonu nisam poznavao nikog kome bih je mogao dati, tako da sam pitao krmara bi li je htio kupiti. Rekao sam da je dajem jeftino.'Meni ne treba', odgovorio je. 'Imam ve tri kod kue. Moda bi je neki od ove gospode htio kupiti.'Okrenuo se dvojici momaka koji su sjedili i pili din. Izgledali su kao da ni zajedno ne bi imali dovoljno za gusku. Ipak, zaputeniji od njih dvojice je rekao da bi je htio pogledati, pa sam razmotao paket. Prilino je itipao gusku, pa me ispitao kako sam doao do nje, da bi na kraju prevrnuo pola ae dina i vode na nju. Zatim mi je ponudio pola krune. To me toliko razljutilo da sam dohvatio papir i konopac u jednu, a gusku u drugu ruku i izaao bez rijei.Neko sam je vrijeme tako nosio jer sam bio uzrujan pa me nije bilo briga; ali kako sam se smirivao, poeo sam shvaati da mora da ba smijeno izgledam. Jedan ili dvojica djeaka oito su primijetili to isto. Zastao sam pod ulinom svjetiljkom i pokuao ponovno svezati pticu. Istovremeno sam drao i torbu i kiobran, pa mi je najprije guska ispala u kanal pored ceste, to je bilo sasvim oekivano jer sam pokuavao baratati etirima razliitim stvarima i konopcem od tri metra sa samo jednim parom ruku. Pokupio sam skoro kilogram blata s guskom, a veina mi je zavrila na rukama i odjei, a dosta toga i na smeem papiru, a onda je poela i kia.Skupio sam sve pod ruku i zaputio se u najblii pub gdje sam mislio zatraiti jo malo konopca i sve uredno zamotati.Bar je bio pun. Progurao sam se do anka i bacio gusku na pod preda se. ovjek u blizini je zautio na tren i pogledao; a momak pored mene je rekao 'Pa, sad ste je ubili'. Pretpostavljam da sam uistinu djelovao razdraeno.Imao sam je namjeru pokuati prodati, ali bilo je oigledno da sam naletio na krivu sortu ljudi. Popio sam pivo jer sam bio nekako umoran i bilo mi je vrue sastrugao to sam vie mogao blata s ptice, ponovno je umotao i izaao.Dok sam prelazio cestu sinula mi je odlina ideja. Pomislio sam kako bih je mogao prokockati. Odmah sam se dao u potragu za krmom koja bi djelovala prikladno. Stajalo me to tri-etiri viskija jer osjeao sam da ne mogu vie piva, ono me zaas oamuti ali naposljetku sam pronaao ljude ba kakve sam traio mirno domae drutvance u priprostom seocetu blizu Goswell Roada.Iznio sam svoje namjere krmaru. Rekao je da nema nita protiv; pretpostavio je da u nakon toga svima platiti pie. Rekao sam da bi mi to priinilo veliko zadovoljstvo, pa sam mu pokazao pticu.'Djeluje malo slabano', rekao je. Bio je iz Devona.'O, nije to nita', objasnio sam. 'Sluajno mi je ispala. Sve se to da oprati.''I miris joj je malo udan', rekao je.'To je do blata', odgovorio sam; 'znate kakvo je blato u Londonu. A i jedan je gospodin prolio malo dina po njoj. Nee se to primijetiti kad se ispee.''Pa', odgovorio je, 'ja ne bih htio s njom imati posla, ali ako netko od ostale gospode eli, to je njegova stvar.'Nitko nije djelovao oduevljeno. Odredio sam cijenu od est penija i kupio sreku. Krmarov pomonik dobio je priliku sudjelovati besplatno jer je nadgledao pripreme, a uspio je i nagovoriti jo petoricu da nam se pridrue, iako im nije bilo ba po volji. Sam sam osvojio gusku i ostavio novie od dva i tri penija za pie. Mukarac dostojanstvena izgleda, koji je dotad hrkao u kutu odjednom se probudio dok sam izlazio i ponudio mi sedam i pol penija za nju zato ba sedam i pol, to mi nikad nee biti jasno. Uzeo bi je, ja je vie nikad ne bih vidio i cijeli bi mi ivot bio drukiji. Ali Sudba nikad nije bila na mojoj strani. Odvratio sam mu, s moda nepotrebnom oholou, da ja nisam fond za boine rukove za siromahe, i izaao.Bilo je ve kasno, i dugo sam pjeaio do svoje sobe. Poelio sam da nikad nisam ni vidio tu pticu. Dotad sam joj ve procijenio teinu na esnaest kilograma.Palo mi je na pamet da je prodam piliaru. Traio sam radnju i naao jednu u ulici Myddleton. Nije bilo niti jednog kupca u blizini, ali koliko je taj ovjek vikao, pomislili biste da mu je cijeli Clerkenwell doao u kupovinu. Odmotao sam gusku i stavio je na policu pred njega.'to je to?', upitao je.'Guska', rekao sam. 'Dat u vam je jeftino.'Samo je uhvatio gusku za vrat i zavitlao je prema meni. Izmaknuo sam se, pa me djelomino zahvatila po glavi. Ako vas nikad nije pogodila guska u glavu, nemate pojma koliko to boli. Podigao sam je pa udario i ja njega, pa je doao policajac s onim svojim uobiajenim 'dakle, u emu je stvar?'Objasnio sam o emu se radi. Piliar je stao na rub plonika i zazivao nebesa.'Pogledajte tu radnju', rekao je. 'Za dvadeset e minuta pono, unutra imam sedam tuceta guski kojih se elim rijeiti, a ova mi budala nudi da kupim jo jednu.'Tad sam uvidio da mi je ideja doista bila budalasta, pa sam posluao policajev savjet i tiho se povukao, ponijevi pticu sa sobom.Onda rekoh sebi, 'dat u je nekom. Nai u nekog potrebitog siromaha i pokloniti mu prokletu ivinu'. Naiao sam na veoma mnogo ljudi, no nitko nije izgledao dovoljno potrebit. Moda je bilo do doba dana, a moda do te etvrti, no nitko mi se nije inio vrijednim ptice. Ponudio sam je ovjeku u ulici Judd koji mi se uinio gladnim. Ispostavilo se da je u pitanju pijana hulja. Nisam mu mogao dokazati to hou pa me slijedio niz cestu viui iz svega glasa sve dok se, nesvjesno skrenuvi iza ugla, nije obreo na trgu Tavistock viui na pogrenog ovjeka. U ulici Euston Road zaustavio sam napola izgladnjelu djevojicu i pokuao je nagovoriti da uzme gusku. Odgovorila je 'Neu ja!' i pobjegla. uo sam je kako prodorno vie za mnom 'Tko je ukrao gusku?'Ispustio sam je u mranom dijelu ulice Seymour. Neki ju je ovjek podigao i donio za mnom. Nisam vie bio u stanju objanjavati ili se svaati. Dao sam mu dva penija i opet nastavio klipsati s njom. Pubovi su se taman zatvarali pa sam uao u jedan popiti posljednje pie. Zapravo mi je ve bilo dosta alkohola, kako nisam bio vian iem vie od povremene ae piva. Ali bio sam potiten, pa sam pomislio kako bi me to moglo razveseliti. Mislim da sam naruio din, kojeg se inae gnuam.Mislio sam je baciti na trg Oakley, ali policajac me drao na oku i dvaput me slijedio oko ograde. U ulici Golding Road htio sam je baciti u neki prolaz izmeu zgrada, ali sam bio osujeen na slian nain. Cijelu se no inilo kao da londonska policija nema drugog posla doli sprijeiti mene da se rijeim te guske.inili su se toliko uznemireni da sam pomislio kako je moda oni ele. Priao sam jednome u ulici Camden, zazvao ga 'Plavac' i pitao hoe li gusku.'Rei u ti to neu', otro je odgovorio, 'Taj tvoj bezobrazluk.'To je bilo doista uvredljivo, pa sam mu naravno uzvratio. to se tono dogodilo vie se ne sjeam, ali zavrilo je tako to je obznanio da me namjerava uhititi.Izmigoljio sam mu se iz ruku i dao petama vjetra niz ulicu King. Puhnuo je u svoju zvidaljku i pojurio za mnom. Neki je ovjek iskoio iz vee u ulici College i pokuao me zaustaviti. Sprijeio sam ga udarcem u trbuh i presjekao kroz ulicu Crescent pa se vratio u Camden ulicom Batt.Na mostu preko kanala pogledao sam iza sebe, nije bilo nikoga. Ispustio sam gusku preko ograde, i uz pljusak je pala u vodu.Ispustivi uzdah olakanja, okrenuo sam se i preao ulicu Randolph. Tamo me je policajac uhvatio. Raspravljao sam se s njim kad je ona prva budala dotrala bez daha. Rekli su mi da mi je bolje da objasnim inspektoru o emu se radi, a i ja sam tako mislio.Inspektor me pitao zato sam pobjegao kad me je policajac htio privesti. Odgovorio sam kako nisam elio provesti boine blagdane u eliji, to je on oito smatrao izrazito slabim argumentom. Pitao me to sam bacio u kanal. Rekao sam gusku. Pitao me zato sam bacio gusku u kanal. Rekao sam da mi je bila dozlogrdila.Tad je stigao narednik s vijeu da su uspjeli doi do paketa. Otvorili su ga na inspektorovom stolu. Unutra je bilo mrtvo novoroene.Izjavio sam kako to nije moj paket i kako to nije moje dijete, ali jedva da su se potrudili sakriti injenicu da mi ne vjeruju.Inspektor je izjavio da je sluaj preteak za jamevinu, to je, s obzirom na to da nisam znao ni ive due u Londonu, bilo donekle nevano. Nagovorio sam ih da poalju telegram mojoj gospojici i da kau da sam neizbjeno zadran u gradu, pa sam proveo Boi i Stjepanje bez uzbuenja i mirnije nego to sam mogao poeljeti.Naposljetku su zakljuili da nemaju dovoljno dokaza za optunicu, pa sam se izvukao sa sitnim prekrajem protiv naruavanja javnog reda i mira te pijanstva. Ali izgubio sam posao i svoju gospojicu, i najradije bih da vie nikad ne vidim gusku u ivotu.Pribliavali smo se ulici Liverpool. Skupio je svoju prtljagu i podigavi eir pokuao ga nataknuti na glavu. Ali, kao posljedica voruge uzrokovane potkovom eir nije mogao ni blizu glave, pa ga je tuno poloio natrag na sjedalo.Ne, tiho je rekao, ne bih ba rekao da vjerujem u sreu.

The Man Who Did Not Believe in LuckHe got in at Ipswich with seven different weekly papers under his arm. I noticed that each one insured its reader against death or injury by railway accident. He arranged his luggage upon the rack above him, took off his hat and laid it on the seat beside him, mopped his bald head with a red silk handkerchief, and then set to work steadily to write his name and address upon each of the seven papers. I sat opposite to him and read Punch. I always take the old humour when travelling; I find it soothing to the nerves.Passing over the points at Manningtree the train gave a lurch, and a horse-shoe he had carefully placed in the rack above him slipped through the netting, falling with a musical ring upon his head.He appeared neither surprised nor angry. Having staunched the wound with his handkerchief, he stooped and picked the horse-shoe up, glanced at it with, as I thought, an expression of reproach, and dropped it gently out of the window.Did it hurt you? I asked.It was a foolish question. I told myself so the moment I had uttered it. The thing must have weighed three pounds at the least; it was an exceptionally large and heavy shoe. The bump on his head was swelling visibly before my eyes. Anyone but an idiot must have seen that he was hurt. I expected an irritable reply. I should have given one myself had I been in his place. Instead, however, he seemed to regard the inquiry as a natural and kindly expression of sympathy.It did, a little, he replied.What were you doing with it? I asked. It was an odd sort of thing for a man to be travelling with.It was lying in the roadway just outside the station, he explained; I picked it up for luck.He refolded his handkerchief so as to bring a cooler surface in contact with the swelling, while I murmured something genial about the inscrutability of Providence.Yes, he said, Ive had a deal of luck in my time, but its never turned out well.I was born on a Wednesday, he continued, which, as I daresay you know, is the luckiest day a man can be born on. My mother was a widow, and none of my relatives would do anything for me. They said it would be like taking coals to Newcastle, helping a boy born on a Wednesday; and my uncle, when he died, left every penny of his money to my brother Sam, as a slight compensation to him for having been born on a Friday. All I ever got was advice upon the duties and responsibilities of wealth, when it arrived, and entreaties that I would not neglect those with claims upon me when I came to be a rich man.He paused while folding up his various insurance papers and placing them in the inside breast-pocket of his coat.Then there are black cats, he went on; theyre said to be lucky. Why, there never was a blacker cat than the one that followed me into my rooms in Bolsover Street the very first night I took them.Didnt it bring you luck? I enquired, finding that he had stopped.A far-away look came into his eyes.Well, of course it all depends, he answered dreamily. Maybe wed never have suited one another; you can always look at it that way. Still, Id like to have tried.He sat staring out of the window, and for a while I did not care to intrude upon his evidently painful memories.What happened then? I asked, however, at last.He roused himself from his reverie.Oh, he said. Nothing extraordinary. She had to leave London for a time, and gave me her pet canary to take charge of while she was away.But it wasnt your fault, I urged.No, perhaps not, he agreed; but it created a coldness which others were not slow to take advantage of.I offered her the cat, too, he added, but more to himself than to me.We sat and smoked in silence. I felt that the consolations of a stranger would sound weak.Piebald horses are lucky, too, he observed, knocking the ashes from his pipe against the window sash. I had one of them once.What did it do to you? I enquired.Lost me the best crib I ever had in my life, was the simple rejoinder. The governor stood it a good deal longer than I had any right to expect; but you cant keep a man who is always drunk. It gives a firm a bad name.It would, I agreed.You see, he went on, I never had the head for it. To some men it would not have so much mattered, but the very first glass was enough to upset me. Id never been used to it.But why did you take it? I persisted. The horse didnt make you drink, did he?Well, it was this way, he explained, continuing to rub gently the lump which was now about the size of an egg. The animal had belonged to a gentleman who travelled in the wine and spirit line, and who had been accustomed to visit in the way of business almost every public-house he came to. The result was you couldnt get that little horse past a public-house at least I couldnt. He sighted them a quarter of a mile off, and made straight for the door. I struggled with him at first, but it was five to ten minutes work getting him away, and folks used to gather round and bet on us. I think, maybe, Id have stuck to it, however, if it hadnt been for a temperance chap who stopped one day and lectured the crowd about it from the opposite side of the street. He called me Pilgrim, and said the little horse was Pollion, or some such name, and kept on shouting out that I was to fight him for a heavenly crown. After that they called us Polly and the Pilgrim, fighting for the crown. It riled me, that did, and at the very next house at which he pulled up I got down and said Id come for two of Scotch. That was the beginning. It took me years to break myself of the habit.But there, he continued, it has always been the same. I hadnt been a fortnight in my first situation before my employer gave me a goose weighing eighteen pounds as a Christmas present.Well, that couldnt have done you any harm, I remarked. That was lucky enough.So the other clerks said at the time, he replied. The old gentleman had never been known to give anything away before in his life. Hes taken a fancy to you, they said; you are a lucky beggar!He sighed heavily. I felt there was a story attached.What did you do with it? I asked.That was the trouble, he returned. I didnt know what to do with it. It was ten oclock on Christmas Eve, just as I was leaving, that he gave it to me. Tiddling Brothers have sent me a goose, Biggles, he said to me as I helped him on with his great-coat. Very kind of em, but I dont want it myself; you can have it!Of course I thanked him, and was very grateful. He wished me a merry Christmas and went out. I tied the thing up in brown paper, and took it under my arm. It was a fine bird, but heavy.Under all the circumstances, and it being Christmas time, I thought I would treat myself to a glass of beer. I went into a quiet little house at the corner of the Lane and laid the goose on the counter.Thats a big un, said the landlord; youll get a good cut off him to-morrow.His words set me thinking, and for the first time it struck me that I didnt want the birdthat it was of no use to me at all. I was going down to spend the holidays with my young ladys people in Kent.Was this the canary young lady? I interrupted.No, he replied. This was before that one. It was this goose Im telling you of that upset this one. Well, her folks were big farmers; it would have been absurd taking a goose down to them, and I knew no one in London to give it to, so when the landlord came round again I asked him if he would care to buy it. I told him he could have it cheap,I dont want it myself, he answered. Ive got three in the house already. Perhaps one of these gentlemen would like to make an offer.He turned to a couple of chaps who were sitting drinking gin. They didnt look to me worth the price of a chicken between them. The seediest said hed like to look at it, however, and I undid the parcel. He mauled the thing pretty considerably, and cross-examined me as to how I come by it, ending by upsetting half a tumbler of gin and water over it. Then he offered me half a crown for it. It made me so angry that I took the brown paper and the string in one hand and the goose in the other, and walked straight out without saying a word.I carried it in this way for some distance, because I was excited and didnt care how I carried it; but as I cooled, I began to reflect how ridiculous I must look. One or two small boys evidently noticed the same thing. I stopped under a lamp-post and tried to tie it up again. I had a bag and an umbrella with me at the same time, and the first thing I did was to drop the goose into the gutter, which is just what I might have expected to do, attempting to handle four separate articles and three yards of string with one pair of hands. I picked up about a quart of mud with that goose, and got the greater part of it over my hands and clothes and a fair quantity over the brown paper; and then it began to rain.I bundled everything up into my arm and made for the nearest pub, where I thought I would ask for a piece more string and make a neat job of it.The bar was crowded. I pushed my way to the counter and flung the goose down in front of me. The men nearest stopped talking to look at it; and a young fellow standing next to me saidWell, youve killed it. I daresay I did seem a bit excited.I had intended making another effort to sell it here, but they were clearly not the right sort. I had a pint of alefor I was feeling somewhat tired and hotscraped as much of the mud off the bird as I could, made a fresh parcel of it, and came out.Crossing the road a happy idea occurred to me. I thought I would raffle it. At once I set to work to find a house where there might seem to be a likely lot. It cost me three or four whiskiesfor I felt I didnt want any more beer, which is a thing that easily upsets mebut at length I found just the crowd I wanteda quiet domestic-looking set in a homely little place off the Goswell Road.I explained my views to the landlord. He said he had no objection; he supposed I would stand drinks round afterwards. I said I should be delighted to do so, and showed him the bird.It looks a bit poorly, he said. He was a Devonshire man.Oh, thats nothing, I explained. I happened to drop it. That will all wash off.It smells a bit queer, too, he said.Thats mud, I answered; you know what London mud is. And a gentleman spilled some gin over it. Nobody will notice that when its cooked.Well, he replied. I dont think Ill take a hand myself, but if any other gent likes to, thats his affair.Nobody seemed enthusiastic. I started it at sixpence, and took a ticket myself. The potman had a free chance for superintending the arrangements, and he succeeded in inducing five other men, much against their will, to join us. I won it myself, and paid out three and twopence for drinks. A solemn-looking individual who had been snoring in a corner suddenly woke up as I was going out, and offered me sevenpence hapenny for itwhy sevenpence hapenny I have never been able to understand. He would have taken it away, I should never have seen it again, and my whole life might have been different. But Fate has always been against me. I replied, with perhaps unnecessary hauteur, that I wasnt a Christmas dinner fund for the destitute, and walked out.It was getting late, and I had a long walk home to my lodgings. I was beginning to wish I had never seen the bird. I estimated its weight by this time to be thirty-six pounds.The idea occurred to me to sell it to a poulterer. I looked for a shop, I found one in Myddleton Street. There wasnt a customer near it, but by the way the man was shouting you might have thought that he was doing all the trade of Clerkenwell. I took the goose out of the parcel and laid it on the shelf before him.Whats this? he asked.Its a goose, I said. You can have it cheap.He just seized the thing by the neck and flung it at me. I dodged, and it caught the side of my head. You can have no idea, if youve never been hit on the head with a goose, how if hurts. I picked it up and hit him back with it, and a policeman came up with the usual, Now then, whats all this about?I explained the facts. The poulterer stepped to the edge of the curb and apostrophised the universe generally.Look at that shop, he said. Its twenty minutes to twelve, and theres seven dozen geese hanging there that Im willing to give away, and this fool asks me if I want to buy another.I perceived then that my notion had been a foolish one, and I followed the policemans advice, and went away quietly, taking the bird with me.Then said I to myself, I will give it away. I will select some poor deserving person, and make him a present of the damned thing. I passed a good many people, but no one looked deserving enough. It may have been the time or it may have been the neighbourhood, but those I met seemed to me to be unworthy of the bird. I offered it to a man in Judd Street, who I thought appeared hungry. He turned out to be a drunken ruffian. I could not make him understand what I meant, and he followed me down the road abusing me at the top of his voice, until, turning a corner without knowing it, he plunged down Tavistock Place, shouting after the wrong man. In the Euston Road I stopped a half-starved child and pressed it upon her. She answered Not me! and ran away. I heard her calling shrilly after me, Who stole the goose?I dropped it in a dark part of Seymour Street. A man picked it up and brought it after me. I was unequal to any more explanations or arguments. I gave him twopence and plodded on with it once more. The pubs were just closing, and I went into one for a final drink. As a matter of fact I had had enough already, being, as I am, unaccustomed to anything more than an occasional class of beer. But I felt depressed, and I thought it might cheer me. I think I had gin, which is a thing I loathe.I meant to fling it over into Oakley Square, but a policeman had his eye on me, and followed me twice round the railings. In Golding Road I sought to throw it down an area, but was frustrated in like manner. The whole night police of London seemed to have nothing else to do but prevent my getting rid of that goose.They appeared so anxious about it that I fancied they might like to have it. I went up to one in Camden Street. I called him Bobby, and asked him if he wanted a goose.Ill tell you what I dont want, he replied severely, and that is none of your sauce.He was very insulting, and I naturally answered him back. What actually passed I forget, but it ended in his announcing his intention of taking me in charge.I slipped out of his hands and bolted down King Street. He blew his whistle and started after me. A man sprang out from a doorway in College Street and tried to stop me. I tied him up with a butt in the stomach, and cut through the Crescent, doubling back into the Camden Road by Batt Street.At the Canal Bridge I looked behind me, and could see no one. I dropped the goose over the parapet, and it fell with a splash into the water.Heaving a sigh of relief, I turned and crossed into Randolph Street, and there a constable collared me. I was arguing with him when the first fool came up breathless. They told me I had better explain the matter to the Inspector, and I thought so too.The Inspector asked me why I had run away when the other constable wanted to take me in charge. I replied that it was because I did not desire to spend my Christmas holidays in the lock-up, which he evidently regarded as a singularly weak argument. He asked me what I had thrown into the canal. I told him a goose. He asked me why I had thrown a goose into the canal. I told him because I was sick and tired of the animal.At this stage a sergeant came in to say that they had succeeded in recovering the parcel. They opened it on the Inspectors table. It contained a dead baby.I pointed out to them that it wasnt my parcel, and that it wasnt my baby, but they hardly took the trouble to disguise the fact that they did not believe me.The Inspector said it was too grave a case for bail, which, seeing that I did not know a soul in London, was somewhat immaterial. I got them to send a telegram to my young lady to say that I was unavoidably detained in town, and passed as quiet and uneventful a Christmas Day and Boxing Day as I ever wish to spend.In the end the evidence against me was held to be insufficient to justify a conviction, and I got off on the minor charge of drunk and disorderly. But I lost my situation and I lost my young lady, and I dont care if I never see a goose again.We were nearing Liverpool Street. He collected his luggage, and taking up his hat made an attempt to put it on his head. But in consequence of the swelling caused by the horseshoe it would not go anywhere near him, and he laid it sadly back upon the seat.No, he said quietly, I cant say that I believe very much in luck.Translation reviewThe short story The Man Who Did Not Believe in Luck was first published in a collection Sketches in Lavender, Green and Blue written by Jerome Klapka Jerome in 1895. Jerome (1859-1927) was an English writer and humorist, best known for his comic travelogue Three Men in a Boat and his short story collections. I decided to translate this story for various reasons. First of all, it is a humorous piece of literature and it is rather easy to read. Therefore, it can attract different types of readers; children and young people will find it interesting and funny for its plot, while on the other hand older and more mature audience can recognize another important aspect of the story. Namely, it teaches the readers how one can make their life more complicated and cause themselves many troubles by making wrong choices. It also shows what greed can make of ones life; if a man from the story had not been so eager to sell the goose and make some money, if he had just sold it to somebody for the offered price or simply given it away, he would have got ridden of it and saved himself a lot of troubles. The point is, we are the ones who are mostly responsible for our fortune, and I think this is even more applicable today than at the time when Jerome lived, considering the style of life and importance of money. And the last thing, the story abounds in a special type of humor which, in my opinion, functions well no matter when it was created, and therefore is worth translating into another language in order to enrich its literature.When it comes to the obstacles in the translation, a few things need to be mentioned. Most of the problems arose due to cultural differences. Thus for example in Croatian version the name of the satirical newspaper Punch had to be omitted and replaced only by satirini list. The pounds were converted to kilograms, as well as yards to meters. However, I left miles instead of converting them into kilometers, because they fit better into the general tone of the text. Piebald horses, which a Croatian reader is not familiar with, were translated simply as crno-bijeli konji. There was also the name Bobby for the policeman, which I translated as Plavac since in Croatian there is no equivalent for Bobby, and Plavac sounds the least offensive. In general, translating this text was not troublesome, except for the above mentioned processes, and I am glad that somebody will get the opportunity to read some works if Jerome in Croatian.