cornerstone church network master’s group session #8
DESCRIPTION
Cornerstone Church Network Master’s Group Session #8. Agenda. 8:45 Arrival, breakfast and fellowship 9:00 Koinonia Connection 10:00 Break 10:15 Becoming Conflict Competent 11:45 Lunch 12:30 GPS 2:15 Wrap up / Debrief the day / Admin stuff 2:30 Adjournment. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Cornerstone Church Network
Master’s GroupSession #8
G P S Agenda 8:45 Arrival, breakfast and fellowship 9:00 Koinonia Connection 10:00 Break10:15 Becoming Conflict Competent 11:45 Lunch 12:30 GPS 2:15 Wrap up / Debrief the day / Admin
stuff 2:30 Adjournment
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Koinonia ConnectionKoinonia Connection
PAST Here is something about my past that would help
you know me better
DEFINING A difficult life experience MOMENT which helped me grow as a person was..
VALUES Here’s what I stand for…
XX
Information + Information + FeelingsFeelings
Information OnlyInformation OnlyXX
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Becoming
Conflict
Competent
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Five Approaches to Conflictfrom The Thomas Kilmann Inventory
Avoid Accommodate Compromise Collaborate Compete
G P S
Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented mode. When competing, an individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person’s expense, using whatever power seems appropriate to win his or her position. Competing might mean standing up for your rights, defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.
Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an
individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When compromising, an individual has the objective of finding an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on a middle ground between competing and accommodating, giving up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding but doesn’t explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position.
Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue his or her own concerns or those of the other person. He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.
Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative—the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view.
G P S
Crucial Conversations
“Tools for talking when stakes are high”
Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
What makes one of your conversations ‘crucial’ as opposed to plain vanilla?
First, opinions vary. (You’re talking with your boss about a promotion…you think you’re ready, she doesn’t)
Second, stakes are high. (The outcome of this meeting with four coworkers will impact the long term viability of the company.)
Third, emotions run strong. (Your spouse accuses you of flirting with the neighbor at the recent block party…and then walks off in a huff.)
G P S
“What makes each of these conversations crucial—and not simply challenging, frustrating, frightening, or annoying—is that the results could have a huge impact on the quality of your life.”
Master's Group | Cornerstone Church Network
Master's Group | Cornerstone Church Network
G P SWhat gets in the way of productive
dialogue?
Genetic predisposition to fight or flight
Crucial conversations are pressurized
Lack of training and positive models
Tendency toward self-defeating practices
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P SCrucial Conversations Diagram
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S The Peace MakerA Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande
“Peacemakers are people who breathe grace. They draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they bring his love, mercy, forgiveness, strength and wisdom to the conflicts of daily life. God delights to breathe his grace through peacemakers and use them to dissipate anger, improve understanding, promote justice, and encourage repentance and reconciliation.”
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S
Taking your next step:
What is your conflict ‘default style’?
What kind of people tend to most easily send you into ‘default style’?
What current conflict has been in your mind as we’ve been discussing today’s content?
What next step do you need to take related to that current conflict?
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
GrowingPast Stress
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
describe it.
state the problem in one sentence.
(is it measurable?)
(think cost, $$$, People, Reputation, Witness, Dilution of vision)
what can this lead to? (over time, think 3-5 years)
what would it look like if it were fixed?
what can this lead to?
why haven’t you done this before? Who could lose if this succeeds?
restate the process in a simple paragraph.
GPS Worksheet
Situation
Problem
Evidence
Consequences
Implications
Future Fix
Implications
Constraints
Summarize
Name: Date:
G P S
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Masters Groups | Cornerstone Church Network
Big Thoughts/Action Items
Presenters Name Responders Name GPS Response
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