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A publication for the friends, volunteers and supporters of Hospice of St. Mary’s

Spring 2007

Butch Nelson Car Show and The Point Lookout Marina Car Show .....................................2

News from the Volunteer Office .........................3

SPIRIT Award Winner, Festival of Trees, Hospice Ornament and Wish List ..............................5

Many Thanks! ..............................6

Camp Sunrise ..............................7

Fall 2012

Inside this Issue

A publication for the friends, volunteers and supporters of Hospice of St. Mary’s

Heather Wolfe, MA, Bereavement Coordinator, Hospice of St. Mary’s

Trauma is a relative term. What it is that makes an event traumatic? Most of us have experienced the loss of someone special in our lives. But, only some lives end following anticipation, preparation and the “luxury” of saying goodbye. Others end suddenly, with no warning, and sometimes involving terrifying circumstances. Even with anticipated loss, the agony of watching a loved one die with uncontrolled pain or unrelenting terminal agitation can be traumatizing. These circumstances

can leave survivors feeling helpless, numb and frightened. In cases of unanticipated death or rapid death from terminal illness, there is often much unfinished business with the person who died. In other words, many things are left undone or unsaid. There are no goodbye’s, and often there are fears of what “should have or could have” been. Growing up in a small New England town on Main Street, I vividly recall multiple incidents in which our family was jolted out of bed in the middle of the night by a sudden car accident in front of our house. The road curved precariously at either end of our lawn and we lived on top of a steep hill. Visibility was tough even in good conditions. One night I was home alone babysitting my younger siblings. I was only a teenager. I recall hearing the familiar sound of metal scraping metal and the horrendous sound of impact. It always made me hold my breath waiting. Inevitably, what came next were sounds of screams coming from the crash. This time, the screams came from the streambed by my driveway. There, in the dark, as I ran to yell to the occupants that help was on the way, was a couple trying to get out of a car that had impacted with

untold speed, a guardrail on the curve. It was enough to send the car into the stream below, upside down with its engine in flames. I remember running to call “911” followed by a sprint to another neighbor to see if I could get help. I remember the sound of sirens approaching from a distance. I remember my heart pounding out of my chest as I wondered what was taking them SO long? I remember the flash of the ambulance lights and the police blocking off the road. I remember wondering if I’d done all I could as my siblings were in tears. I later learned that one of the occupants died from their injuries. It haunts me to this day. Trauma stays with us, in many ways, burnt into our memory and often replayed like an unwanted broken record. Sometimes trauma involves constant disruptive memories or intrusive thoughts of the traumatic event, such as flashbacks or nightmares. Other times, it can involve increased anxiety, irritability, depression or numbness and detachment from others. We often avoid places or situations that trigger

Coping with Traumatic Loss

Continued on page 4

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Board of DirectorsBeth Cooper-Joseph, President

Maria Morgan, Vice PresidentRichard Braam, Treasurer

Christine R. Wray, Secretary Cindy Beakes

Jan Barnes Laura Clarke

Nancy GlocknerEve Love

Jennifer OverstreetMaryAnn Stamm

Pam Veitch

Our Mission

Kathy Franzen, DirectorTara Wood, Assistant Director

Jennifer Schmidt, DO, Medical DirectorKaren Bauer, MD, Assistant Medical Director

John Ball, Chaplain Pam Brookbank, Medical Social Worker

Ann Byrne, Registered NursePeggy Crim, Registered Nurse

Katy Crowell, Volunteer CoordinatorMarsha Day, Secretary

Mary Day, Registered Nurse Jamie Eckman, Registered Nurse

Kimmie Gibson, Registered NurseRebekah Guyther, Business Coordinator

Elizabeth Holdsworth, Medical Social WorkerCathy Humphries, Registered Nurse

Jessica Long, Hospice Aide Kirsten Jordan, Hospice Aide

Monica Juran, Registered NurseCindy Parlin, Medical Social Worker

Esther Palma, Bereavement Coordinator Lawanda Shively, Hospice Aide

Moneta Strickland, Hospice AideJeanie Whorl, Hospice Aide

Lydia Wilkinson, Secretary Cindy Wolf, Registered Nurse

Heather Wolfe, Bereavement CoordinatorChris Young, Registered Nurse

Hospice House AssociatesNancy Sperbeck, RN, House Manager

Val Abell, Med TechTawnyada Allen, Med Tech

Chrissy Barber, Hospice AideSue Browne, Med Tech

Michelle Cable, Med TechLisa Estes, Med Tech

Joyce Murphy, Med TechSally Raley, Med Tech

Karen Svoboda, Med TechHeather Unkle, Med Tech

Lisa Wilds, Med TechTracy Wilkinson, LPN

Alicia Wood, Med Tech

The mission of Hospice of St. Mary’s is to provide physical, emotional and spiritual support

to terminally ill patients and their families and bereavement care to

those families and the community.

Hospice Associates

Michael Evans wanted to hold his first Butch Nelson Memorial Car Show and flea market last year to raise money for Hospice of St. Mary’s and Cancer Research. A cancer survivor himself, Evans admitted it was a “kind of spur of the moment thing.” On August 4, 2012 at the St. Mary’s County Fairgrounds, numerous sponsors helped host a day full of fun featuring classic and muscle cars, trick trucks and bikes, swap meet, vendors, food and drinks, door prizes and 50/50 drawings. A big thanks to Mike and all who helped support this event in their efforts to ‘Pay It Forward’.

Point Lookout Marina Classic Car and Bike ShowApproximately $750.00 was raised on Saturday, July 28, 2012 and Cindy Salvo will personally add another $250.00. Hospice of St. Mary’s can anticipate a check in the amount of $1000 as a result of this event. Bob Wright contributed a check for $50. The 50/50 prize was $130. Approximately 120 people were in attendance, with about 30 cars and bikes in the show. Not too bad for the 1st annual show.

Brick Walkway and GardenThanks to all who have expressed an interest in purchasing a memorial brick as part of our brick garden/walkway fundraiser. A supplier has been chosen, the contract has been signed, and we are in the process of selecting bricks for this beautiful addition to our grounds at the Hospice House. More information will be forthcoming. Again, thank you for your continued support!

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Recent graduates from the September 15, 2012 Boot Camp Volunteer Training Class Front row from left: Annalicia Contee, Amoy Wright, Katherine Humphries Back row from left: Keber Debebe, Darlene Albertson, Monica Gross and Carrie Kelly.

Recent graduates from Boot Camp Volunteer Training Deborah Johnstone, Erin Sullivan, Stephanie Payton and Lisa Moderski

Welcome to our Newest Volunteers

Katy Crowell, Volunteer Coordinator

November is National Hospice Month, and what an appropriate time to extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of our wonderful volunteers at Hospice of St. Mary’s. We could not accomplish our mission without your support. Our volunteers provide companionship to many of our patients, whether they are at the Hospice House, in one of our local Nursing Homes, Assisted Living Facilities, or their home. They bring a smile to our patients’ faces, and often provide respite to their loved ones. Our volunteers are there to listen to the patients talk about their families, and all the good and bad in their lives. Our volunteers can brighten their day with just a smile and a hug. We have a special group of volunteers who are trained as Vigil Volunteers, who provide additional support and comfort to our patients and families at the end stages of the patient’s life. We have many volunteers who cook meals for our patients at the

Hospice House. This is a tremendous help to our staff, because if we don’t have volunteer support in this area, the staff is responsible to do this, in addition to meeting all the patient needs. Not only do they come in and cook a meal, but they brighten up a patient’s day by spending some time with them, and they answer the door and greet visitors. Our volunteers do the weekly grocery shopping for our Hospice House. They deliver the groceries and put them all away. What a job! Our Bereavement Staff rely on our volunteers in a variety of areas, from co-facilitating support groups, making follow-up phone calls to our families after the loss of their loved ones, doing data entry in our electronic medical records, assisting with the annual Memorial Service, providing a multitude of help for our Camp Sunrise each summer, and the list goes on. Our volunteers help in the office

with data entry, putting intake

packets together, answering the phones when we are short-

staffed, greeting visitors, helping me to maintain all the

paperwork that flows through the volunteer office, etc. Our volunteers provide an invaluable service to our patients and families by delivering medications to our patients, many of them willing to go from one end of the County to another, regardless of the time of day (or night). We have many volunteers who help with our fund raising events, and these wouldn’t be the success that they are without their time and expertise. It is an honor and privilege to work with such an awesome group of individuals who share their time and their talents with the Hospice staff, our patients and their families. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support to our organization and to the patients and families we serve!

A Heartfelt Gratitude to all our Hospice Volunteers

Would you like to

become a part of our

Volunteer Team at Hospice of St. Mary’s?

Call 301-994-3075 for more information or email mary_crowell@smhwecare.com

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memories of the traumatic incident or the loved one who was lost. Not only do the survivors of traumatic loss have painful feelings about the death of their loved one, but the need to process the circumstances of the way he or she died. According to grief specialist Alan Wolfelt, “Trauma refers to intense feelings of shock, fear, anxiety and helplessness” (Wolfelt; Healing Your Traumatized Heart, 2002). Wolfelt talks about how important the expression of trauma and grief is outside oneself in order to create healing. But healing of one’s spirit can take time, work, and careful and compassionate attention. This often requires the expression of both the loss and the trauma. There is often the existence of things that were left unsaid or undone known as what we refer to as the unfinished business of death. We often have multiple “If Only’s” that need time and attention to address and work through (Wolfelt; Healing Your Traumatized Heart, 2002). Sometimes it can be helpful to write the loved one a letter expressing regrets or imagining what our loved one would say to us now. It may also be helpful to make a list of ways we can cope or how we’ve managed through difficult times in our past. This inventory of survival strategies can be

helpful, according to Wolfelt (Wolfelt; Healing Your Traumatized Heart, 2002). Hospice of St. Mary’s has increasingly been working with not only families of our terminally ill patients, but those from the community who’ve died due to sudden, accidental and traumatic deaths such as car accidents, heart attacks and suicides. Due to the prevalence of this type of loss, we decided to develop a traumatic loss support group to address the unique needs of the traumatic loss survivor. These survivors often feel extremely vulnerable, unsafe and anxious about what they’ve experienced and often cannot mourn if he or she feels unsafe and anxious (Wolfelt; Healing Your Traumatized Heart, 2002). Hospice of St. Mary’s goal is to help provide a safe environment in which traumatic loss survivors can be supported by others who’ve experienced similar loss due to traumatic circumstances. We recognize and help create safe expression of grief combined with processing the circumstances of how the death occurred. The feelings of trauma are just as important as the feelings of grief. We help survivors focus on the life lived by their loved one rather than ONLY on the means by which he or she died. After all, we are so much more than the circumstances of our death. But for many survivors, we can become immobilized by the traumatization, unable to see past the

death experience itself. In this weekly 8-week Coping with Traumatic Loss support group, Hospice of St. Mary’s uses education, processing and artistic techniques such as photography, writing, painting, sharing and other tools to facilitate creative expression of trauma, grief and how we survive. A core aspect of this group is to help survivors to begin to explore the meaning and purpose in their lives following their loss, and to help them find renewed hope of a future in which the relationship with their loved one continues even after death. We focus on ways each person uniquely copes and eventually begins to reconstruct a new self-identity. We also facilitate exploration of a future in which there exist renewed possibilities and the post-trauma is resolved (O’Hanlon; xxx). Of course, this is only the beginning. Traumatic loss survivors know well that it takes on-going patience, support and expression to work through trauma. We provide survivors the tools to begin the journey. Perhaps Wolfelt worded it best when he wrote, “Grief is a journey, not a destination, and you will need the continued support of your friends and family for weeks, months and years ahead” (Wolfelt; Healing Your Traumatized Heart, 2002). Just like September 11th, which is forever etched in our minds and we collectively grieve; we learn to find new meaning, but we never forget.

Continued from cover

For more information on the Hospice of

St. Mary’s Coping with Traumatic Loss

support group or to pre-register, please

contact the Hospice bereavement

department at 301-994-3078.

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SPIRIT Award Winner!Each month at MedStar St. Mary’s Hospital, two associates are chosen as SPIRIT Award winners. The award program recognizes the hospital values: Service, Patient First, Integrity, Respect, Innovation and Teamwork. Each award recipient receives a check, a SPIRIT pin and a reserved parking spot for one month. In September, Hos-pice’s own, Kimmie Gison won this very special award. read below why Kimmie was nominated by Cindy Parlin and you will agree, it is well de-served. Congratulations Kimmie!

Nominated by Cindy Parlin, Hospice:

There isn’t just one event where Kimmie has demonstrated extraordinary behavior well beyond her daily roles and responsibilities. Although she only works part time, every day she works she comes in with a smile and accomplishes her assignments.

Kimmie is able to provide a calm, caring and educated demeanor with each and every patient and family member. Recently, Kimmie had to have a difficult conversation with a family. Their goal to keep the patient at home wasn’t working and everyone was falling to pieces. Kimmie did an excellent job with explaining medical benefits for this family if the patient moved to Hospice House. It was a team approach, and Kimmie led the way working for the patient and the family. They were very appreciative for the involvement and commitment to care, gently showing an option different than keeping their loved one at home.

Kimmie has an innate ability to meet families “where they are” in dealing with the impending loss of a loved one. She is calm and imparts confidence to her patients and families. Thank you for always going above and beyond for Hospice patients and their families. You are truly a team player and embody SPIRIT!

Hospice of St. Mary’s Wish List:baby video monitors

Hospice Wish List

to hospice with love

1 gallon of “chalkboard” paint for wall mural in children’s bereavement room

2 dozen “If Only” books for teen bereavement group

Annual Hospice Ornament for SaleThis year’s ornament can be displayed as a stand-out decoration on your Christmas tree or as an eye catching sun catcher in your window! A bright red package beautifully placed on a bottle green back-drop wrapped up with a glorious white bow! $25. Available for purchase at the Hospice House. Please call 301-994-3023 for additional locations of where to buy!

About the Artist:Nancy Wathen of Cecil Creek Glass is also a registered nurse and Hospice volunteer. She handcrafts each fused glass ornament to both catch your eye and touch your heart. She began studying her craft almost ten years ago and has since created too many designs to count. This is the fourth year we have selected Nancy’s designs as the Hospice ornament.

Festival of Trees ~ Deck the HallsMake plans now to attend the 5th Annual Festival of Trees

to be held on Saturday, December 1, 2012. You can

participate by sponsoring a tree, decorating a tree or just

dropping in to see the lavishly decorated and themed

trees! There will be entertainment, visits with Santa, and

30+ vendors to fulfill all the gifts on your wish list! 

Make Plans to Join Us! 

Dec. 1, 2012 Doors Open at 9 a.m.

Dr. James A. Forrest Career and Technology Center

$5 Adult; $3 Seniors; $1 Ages 4-12; Free for ages 3 and under

Kimmie Gibson Hospice

10 a.m. – 12 noon Donuts with Santa (Parents, Please Bring Your Camera!)

1 p.m. – 3 p.m. Visit with Santa

10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Vendor Shops Open for Holiday Shopping

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Many thanks

It was a hard decision for Chuck, Mike and Danny Pappas to bring their dad, Charlie, to the Hospice House. Their mom had died here in October 2011. Charlie was ok with coming here- ex-cept he didn’t like our small TVs! His one wish was to watch golf and he wanted to watch it on a large screen in HD!  After all, it was the weekend of the US Open.   At Chuck’s request Pam Brookbank, LCSW-C immediately called Metrocast to get Charlie’s room outfitted with an HD Box.  Next step was to go out and get a new HD TV, Chuck and his wife Sandee took care of that with a late night run to Wal-Mart.   He was now able to watch the Golf Channel all day on a large screen and in full HD.   In honor of their parents, the Pappas sons decided to donate six new large flat screen HD TVs for each of the patient rooms in honor of their parents.  Chuck’s friend, Darren Wagner of DRW Technologies (home theaters, distributed audio and surveil-lance) set up and installed all 6 TVs at no cost. Actually 5 of the 6 TV’s were installed before Mr. Pappaconstantinou left us, the last installed in Charlie’s room a week or so after his passing.  Thanks to the Pappas family, patients, families and visitors are all now enjoy-ing the new larger TVs and expanded cable lineup that Metrocast HD pro-vides us.

The 1st An-nual George She-gogue Memorial Golf Tournament was held on Sun-day, September 9, 2012 at the Breton Bay Golf & Country Club,

in Leonardtown, Maryland. George’s sisters, Linda Balaach, Sandy Shamleffer, and Barbara Robison, as well as his girlfriend, Deane Ford wish to thank all family and friends who attended this event and helped cel-ebrate his memory and raise money for both Hospice of St. Mary’s and Hospice of the Chesapeake. It was George’s wish to give back to both of these wonderful organizations who he was a patient of. Thank you!

International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers give gener-ously to the Bereavement Center at Hospice. Pictured above (L-R) are Charles Micallef, Director, Community and Membership Services Department, Esther Palma, Bereavement Counselor and Greg Murray. Hospice Bereave-ment counselors Esther Palma and Heather Wolfe have presented twice to the EAP counselors on grief and companioning the bereaved. In thanks the group has made two generous donations to the Bereavement Center. $1000 to general grief support and $1000 to Camp Sunrise.

Always a sponsor of our Festival of Trees fundraiser, Sabre will be sponsoring a 36” wreath for this year’s event. There are various levels of sponsorships still available! From left to right: Glenn Ives, Sabre VP Mid Atlantic Region, Hospice Director Kathy Franzen, and Hospice board member, Mary Ann Stamm. Thank you for this $350 sponsorship!

What a friend Hospice has in the Optimist Club of Tall Timbers! They are such great supporters of the children’s bereavement department of Hospice of St. Mary’s! Pictured with this $5,000 donation are from L to R: Mark Bowes, Treasurer and his dog Slick, Hospice Director Kathy Franzen, Joy Bowes, President, and Hospice bereavement counselor Esther Palma. Thank you for always having the best interest of our children in your thoughts and hearts!

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Camp SunriseEsther Palma, LGSW

Bereavement Coordinator

Camp Sunrise is a two day weekend camp held at the Sotterly Plantation. It is designed for children who have lost a loved one through death. This camp involves many forms of creative grief exploration and personal support of a mentor. We had fourteen youths participate in the camp this year. This was also our first year to invite teens to the camp. The camp was a huge successful for all. The reviews the children have sent in are consistently positive as are their parent’s reviews. This camp allows for opportunities to share stories of loss with others who are experiencing and walking the same journey. Children migrate towards those that best under-stand them. This builds an immediate bond for the kids. They can finally be open about their grief and loss and share without the filter they use in other peer group conversations. The children also have mentors who are available for them the entire two day event. These mentors are volun-teers who have given their weekend to provide the support the children may need as they explore their feelings. Children grieve in different ways than adults. They require play time to process. Much of that is built into our two day event. They look forward to the fire truck that sprays them down and intense kick ball games. They also however look forward to the methods we use to explore their grief. There is nothing more moving than watch-ing and listening to the children show and discuss the items in their memory boxes. We hope that you will continue to support our camp as it’s a priceless experience of love and support for the children who attend. They will never forget their experience at the camp.

Learn more at www.facebook.com/griefandlosstoday

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Non Profit OrgU.S. Postage

PAIDLeonardtown, MD

20650Permit No. 119

P.O. Box 625Leonardtown, Maryland 20650301-994-3023 PHONE

301-994-3318 FAX

hospiceofstmarys.org

Hospice of St. Mary’s

This year’s “Bluegrass For Hospice 2012” is Saturday, Oct. 27, 2012 at the Flat Iron Farm in Great Mills, Maryland and will feature two of the top names in Bluegrass music today. Fiddler Michael Cleveland and his award-winning band Flamekeeper along with the up and coming Brother/Sister Duo, The Roys, from Nashville, Tennessee. This one day music festival begins at Noon with the doors opening at 11 AM. Presented and organized by Jay Armsworthy, “Bluegrass for Hospice 2012” will again feature many local Bluegrass bands as well. As you will see on October 27, the Southern Maryland area is endowed with Bluegrass talent. This year we welcome back “The Bluegrass Gospel

Express” providing some fine Gospel music. Also crossing the stage that day will be “Charlie Thompson & Bottom County Bluegrass”, “Bubby Abell & Spoon Creek”, “California Ramblers”, “David Norris”, and once again we welcome back “Gracie’s Guys and Gals Dancers”. Troy Jones will provide sound for the event. Throughout the day there will be many raffles including 50/50’s, Door Prizes, Silent Auctions, and food will be available for sale by the 3rd District Optimist Club “Kruzin’ Kafe”. There is a $500.00 money raffle that is on sale between now until the end of the event. Tickets for the raffle are $5.00 each or 3 for $10.00 and can be purchased at the address listed below. You need not be

present to win. Also, please bring a non-perishable food item to help replenish the Helping Hand Food Bank in Hollywood, MD. Order tickets in advance for $20 per person or at the door for $25 per person. Children under 12 are free. For advanced tickets by mail, please make checks payable to “Hospice of St. Mary’s” and mail (along with a stamped self-addressed envelope) to P.O. Box 741, California, MD 20619. (The deadline for advanced tickets to be mailed is October 16, 2012). To purchase tickets by credit card, call 1-888-663-3729 or online at www.drby.tk/ bluegrassforhospice.

All proceeds from this day

will go toward the Hospice

House of St. Mary’s.

Bluegrass for Hospice 2012 ~ Featuring Michael Cleveland and Flamekeeper

OUR SPONSORSJan Barnes, Century 21 New Millennium; Bob Taylor Engineer-ing, Inc.; Christine Wray & John Felicitas; Toyota/Scion of Southern Maryland; C & C Plumbing & Sep-tic, Inc.; Community Bank of Tri County; ABC Liquors; Three Mules Welding Supplies; Aloft Solutions; Guy Distributing Co., Inc.; Simms Insurance Agency, Inc.; Ernie and Anne Bell; Quality Built Homes, Inc.; Technology Security Associ-ates, Inc.; Stanley & Joan Williams; PNC Bank; J.P. Wathan’s Plumb-ing; W.M. Davis Construction; Wildwood Medical Care-John Scott Tiddball, MD; Committee To Elect Joe Stanalonis; County First Bank; John & Vicki Wenke; Blue Heron Services, Inc.; Tom Hodges Auto Sales & Service; Ziner Tax Service; Clark’s Flooring, Inc.; Stephen D. Mattingly Insurance, Inc.; St. Mary’s Nursing Center, Inc.; Luke M Morgan, DDS & Asso-ciates, LLC; Taylor Gas Company, Inc.; Erin Ross Insurance Agency; J. F. Taylor, Inc.; Waring-Ahearn Insurance; Charles C. Reel, MD; Sterling Insurance Agency; Accu-temp Climate Control, LLC; Brad & Linda Gottfried; R.G. Mattingly, Inc.; McBride Enterprises; State Farm Insurance-Philip Riehl-Agent; Senator Roy Dyson-Linda Vallandingham, Treasure; Franzen Realtors-Carl & Marv Franzen; O’Brien Reality-Dawn Wood; St. Mary’s Republican Central Committee; National Technolo-gies Associates, Inc. and more!

For more information about the “Bluegrass for Hospice 2012”, go to www.bluegrassforhospice.com or call Jay Armsworthy,

Event Coordinator/Promoter (23302 Christy Court,

California, MD 20619) at 301-737-3004 or email at Jaychelle1@verizon.net.