Sarah Jordan

Communication and Conflict

12/11/11

The Importance of Communication and Conflict

Conflict creates personal distress and uneasiness between the parties involved.

Disagreements and differences can create permanent destruction to a once healthy and

happy relationship if not handled correctly. How one deals with a difficult situation

varies but almost everyone shares the same goal: to resolve the issue. Everyone will

endure conflicts throughout his or her life; it is simply inevitable. People obtain various

perspectives, opinions, and values as a result of personal experiences, thus creating

different outlooks. The study of communication and conflict is extremely important

because it gives people the tools and knowledge on how to use effective conflict

management skills, allows one to genuinely evaluate his or her behavior during times of

disagreement, and helps people to acknowledge and understand the positive aspects of

facing conflict.

Conflict is inescapable and avoidance is not an efficient solution, but learning

how to manage and deal with it in the most effective way is key. If it is inevitable, then

why not learn how to manage the situation in an effective manner? It is vital to become

educated on effective conflict management skills in order to be able to resolve

complicated situations. Having the ability to learn and understand different perspectives

is an essential first step in accomplishing successful conflict management. Skills,

knowledge, and motivation are crucial in realizing the opponents perspective. It is

difficult to look past personal habits or even self-evaluate when reacting to a situation,

but realizing the different aspects of the story can prevent uncomfortable feelings. For

example, some people are apt to deny, avoid, blame, or become stubborn as a result of

feeling vulnerable. However, obtaining skills on conflict resolution can help those to

communicate in a beneficial way. According to Stephen Littlejohn and Kathy Domenici,

“The work of conflict involves making decisions about how to act within the situation

and how to respond to the actions of others. It also means engaging in the potentially hard

work of interpreting, thinking in new ways, and creating effective resources for change”

(Littlejohn & Domenici, 2007). If people do not learn the importance of conflict

management and fail to appreciate various perspectives, then they might experience a

spiral of conflict and flooding. Emotional flooding will most likely occur when one’s

feelings and the feelings of others are ignored. It becomes emotionally draining and will

ultimately dictate every aspect of that person’s life. Clearly, effective conflict

management allows people to understand diverse perspectives and communicate their

feelings to avoid emotional overload.

Studying communication and conflict helps people recognize personal behaviors

and reactions to an uncomfortable situation. In general, it is difficult to look past the

learned behaviors that children pick up from their parents. For example, if a child grows

up in an environment where his or her parents don’t speak when faced with an argument,

then that child will most likely grow up avoiding any kind of conflict. Avoidance would

feel natural to that person because it was the only method witnessed during childhood.

When a behavior is so engrained in someone’s mind it becomes difficult to re-evaluate

the motives. That is why education on communication and conflict is so imperative.

People are then able to analyze and identify what realm they tend to fall under whether it

is the sphere of challenge, irrelevance, value, or harm. As a result, people are able to

acknowledge what he or she brings to the table when faced with an issue and what

category the behavior falls under. I can say from personal experience that re-evaluating

how I react when conflict arises has motivated me to seek other ways to manage my

emotions and initial response. Receiving education on communication and conflict has

allowed me to reflect on myself and recognize the different options. I have also been able

to reclaim my power in order to make the necessary changes.

Many people feel uncomfortable, become tense, guarded, or vulnerable when

conflict arises. When people feel as though their morals and core principles are being

questioned, then it is easy to feel defenseless and helpless. However, when someone feels

that his or her face values are at risk, then seeking the positive aspect of conflict becomes

blurred. What many people forget, or may not even know, is that disagreements can also

be very affirmative. Expressing one’s views confirms personal opinions and ultimate

morals. Effectively communicating personal beliefs during an argument helps people in

realizing how much value they place on an issue. When someone can ‘fight’ for what

they believe, then their stance is reaffirmed. When differences are appropriately

vocalized, then others are given the opportunity to reflect on their personal opinions as

well. In order for this to succeed, the differences of opinions need to be communicated in

an effective manner to avoid any harm. As a result, we can all learn from the perspectives

of others while evaluating our own simultaneously. Think of how much we could all

learn if everyone obtained effective conflict management skills; I cannot even begin to

imagine. Without conflict, we would “never be challenged to think critically about our

ideas, be very limited in our creativity, be ineffective problem solvers, miss interesting

and important new experiences in life, learn very little about other people, have no basis

for understanding what is important to us, and find no reason to build community with

others” (Littlejohn & Domenici, 2007). If we all acquired effective conflict competence,

then our understanding and appreciation for others would be exceptional and a great

amount of self- conflict would be resolved.

Effective conflict management skills is clearly something that people have the

ability to learn and can create positive changes for everyone. Conflict is all around us and

will never vanish making it extremely important to embrace every opportunity to enhance

the difficult situations regardless of the discomfort. Gaining the knowledge on

communication and conflict will ultimately allow one to appreciate opposing

perspectives, re-evaluate personal behaviors, and recognize the positive aspects of

conflict.