Maria Kristina D. Siuagan Family Prof. PenaBSN III-3 (Wednesday, 10:00a.m to 1:00p.m) Humanities

When I entered the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila, everyaspect of my life changed. Some are permanent, others are transient.Others are modifiable while some seem to be irreversible. It was reallyhard coping at first. However, I was able to adjust eventually although Ihave to admit I still have some difficulty doing so. In this institution, Iget to have the real taste of sacrifice, failure, and torture (ha-ha!). Ialso experienced some periods of isolation wherein I came to the pointthat I was never aware with the things that are happening around me.My soul remained confined in the four areas of the PLM grounds, in thefour corners of the library, and in the third floor of the GusalingKatipunan. I was not able to utilize my social privileges. All I can do isto sigh… because with all the pressures that hover me; it is my onlyway not to succumb. Basically, I am looking for the right medium inorder to pour out my thoughts and my emotions that are nothing butFRUSTRATIONS. An opportunity, disguised in a three- unit subjectcalled Humanities is, came as an answer (*relief*). Now I have to makea paper about my threefold experience in creating my artwork which Ithink is the most relative experience I could undergo for now.

When I found out that one of the requisites of Humanitiesis creating an artwork, I became so ecstatic. I’m like, “Wow, this is it!”It’s not that I want to make pasikat but because I know this will be agreat chance- an outlet for another creative experience! LIVE NOT TOACCOMPLISH BUT TO FULFILL. This is what I want to convey. That iswhy every night, before drifting in between the bedsheets, I alwaysthink of what to do about the artwork. At the same time, I am worriedthat I will not be able to find something for it because at that moment Iwas clueless about what to do. The experience can be described as“shaky” until I finally decided what to do. I am very passionate withmusic and performing, particularly in singing and I want to incorporatethis to an artwork which will readily provide a presentation of what Iam up to right now. With this underlying passion in me, the experienceof wanting to create an artwork euphorically drove me nuts!

After having been able to surpass the first “aesthetic”experience, I have to put myself again to another process that has thepotential of causing me a great deal of struggles. Now I am faced withthe challenge of doing the actual artwork. I have blurted out questionssuch as: “How will I do it?”, “Will I be able to do this?”, “What if I do not

 

find the right choice for me?”, “Will I be able to accomplish it due forthe deadline?” Honestly, I became quite absorbed in these questions atfirst that I became stagnant and was hampered for some time. Butthen, I have to finish what I have started and nothing will stop me!First, I went to various music stores here in Marikina to look for sometapes, CDs or any other audio paraphernalia. I made a list of the songsthat I can use and sing with my own rendition since my artwork dwellswith performing arts. I had a major encounter with broad spec of music. I have included several songs from various genres in my list--classical, broadway, alternative rock, and metal. This presented me tothe previously asked question, “What if I do not find the right choicefor me?” I am having the so- called “sick-song-overload” because withall these songs, I might be eluded away from the message that I wantto convey. I crossed out the metal rock songs from the list becausepracticality wise, I will not be able to perform with all the growls andshouts the song demands. Not to mention, I won’t be able to set up myequipment in the venue, I can’t bring them all on my way to school!  The classical ones, after listening to them upon download,demonstrates a different meaning which I find irrelevant to themessage I want to convey. Ballads were not included in my listbecause the common topic of these songs is love in contrary to ourtheme about life. I ended up with the broad way songs. After hours of narrowing down my list, I decided to pick the song “Tomorrow”. Thisdecision was influenced with the relevance of the song to the life that Ihave right now. I often call myself a LOSER for not being able toaccomplish the things that I ought to get done with at the end of eachday. With the lyrics “The sun will come out tomorrow, betcha bottomdollar that tomorrow… THERE’LL BE SUN.” I realized that hey, need not to rush things, take things at a time. It’s not how fast I accomplishthings but how fulfilled I’ll become from doing them… Perfect! I rightaway looked up its lyrics online and before I realize it, I was singing thesong already! I even had it as my last song syndrome! After doing myhomework and readings at home, I always learn the song byrepeatedly singing it before going to sleep. Because of this, Ieventually memorized the lyrics by heart. My next concern would behow will I perform this? Do I have to bring over an accompaniment, aninstrument or a minus one maybe? Deciding about this has beendifficult for me because I am mainly concerned with performing it wellwith the solemn delivery of my message. My mom suggested that,what if, I do the entire song in acapella. Hoo! Sounds dramatic! I thinkthat will be a great idea after all! I know that by doing this, I can puteveryone in complete silence during the performance. Also throughthat, I can render the song whole- heartedly.

Although accomplishing this artwork is tiring, time consumingand painstaking I was FULFILLED after the performance. I can see that

 

everyone, not only I, can relate. I saw my classmates with their mouthsopen. Others are even commending a well done performance orrendition. It was my first time to sing in front of the class that is whymost of the feedbacks are expression of surprise. I was so delighted.As a singer, nothing more is greater than a performance that is highlyappreciated by the audience. Also, as an artist, having been able todeliver the message that I want to convey in my choice of medium isworth all the energy and efforts consumed!

With this, I also want to thank Ms. Pena for this wonderfulexperience. This activity she organized for us has set my desires onfire after a quite long period of latency. She provided an opportunityfor me to search for my own self once again… not to mention, shebrought me into singing once again. Thanks ma’am!