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This book was automatically created by FLAG on January 17th, 2012, based oncontent retrieved from http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5784072/.

The content in this book is copyrighted by ciaobella27 or their authorisedagent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated otherwise.

This story was first published on February 28th, 2010, and was last updated onFebruary 28th, 2010.

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Summary

When Rosalie dares Bella to send a random naughty text message, the number shechooses isn't so random. Written for Twifans for Haiti compilation. ExB

- 3 -

Chapter 1

Pen name: ciaobella27

Rating: M for language

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Title: Good Vibrations

What was I doing here? I mean, really, she couldn't think of anything better thanthis? I offered to foot the bill for spa weekend. Who doesn't want a spa weekend? I'dtake a seaweed wrap any day over this – a bar that caters to rowdy groups ofdrunken women.

But it wasn't my bachelorette party. It wasn't my call. And thank Christ, it wasn'tme on the stage straddling that seven-foot inflatable penis.

"Belly!" Rosalie called out to me from the stage. "Get yer sweet ass up here, BellyGirl."

Ugh. So drunk, Rose. I get it. It's your night or your week or your month. I'mexcited for you, too, but friends don't ask friends to dry-hump obscene inflatabledevices.

"Bella," Alice bellowed into the mic. "We have a situation up here that needs somehandling."

I looked up at them with a tight smile and wave that said – "No thanks, I'll pass.I'm staying right here".

"Can I get you another?" the waitress asked, motioning to my empty martini glass.

"Drink up, Bella," Angela interrupted, crashing into the seat next to me. "This is aparty. Turn that frown upside down."

Jesus. You too, Ang?

"Fine, another cosmo, please," I replied, giving in. Maybe drinking one morewould make it easier to handle being stuck in the middle of five simultaneous

- 4 -

bachelorette parties. I think the number of girls wearing tiaras and feather boas inthis place had officially created a fire hazard. It was like Animal House, covered inpink marabou feathers.

"And keep'em coming!" Angela called after the waitress. "So, we haven't chattedin forever! How's work?"

"Work's good," I replied, relieved to not be discussing penises. "Busy. It's alwayslike that during end of the fiscal year."

"Right, right. So does that cute guy, Jacob, still work with you?"

"Jacob, yes. He still works for the audit team," I replied, smiling up at the waitressas she placed the bright red cocktail in front of me.

I saw Angela mouth "Keep them coming" to her again as she retreated. Nice try. Iwas not going to wake up with a headache tomorrow.

"I'm not interested in Jake," I added, taking a small, measured sip of the cosmo.

"There has to be someone, Bell," she sang, swaying in her chair. I couldn't tell if itwas to the music or to whatever was going on in her head.

"No, sorry, no prospects," I muttered.

It wasn't exactly true. There was someone, but it was silly, really. We were atRosalie's shower the week before, when I overhead Emmett tell her that his brotherand best man, Edward, had just arrived to help pack up all of the gifts. When hewalked into the room, I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.

As we carried Rosalie's shower gifts out to the truck, I watched him carefully pickup the boxes and load them into the back. His muscles bulged underneath his shirtand the fabric strained around his bicep. I was mesmerized. When Alice introducedus, I shook his hand, realizing too late that mine was probably clammy, andsqueaked out some incoherent greeting. I could barely look at him - nevermindspeak to him. I was so humiliated by my lack of social skills that I opted not to jointhem all for dinner, and went home to sulk.

I had no game.

"Well, we are going to find you a man, Ms. Swan," Angela pledged.

- 5 -

We were interrupted by a commotion on the stage. A man in a leisure suit was aholding a microphone and talking to Alice, Rosalie, and her annoying cousin, Kate.

"Okay, it looks like we have the bridesmaids up here," he announced, holding themicrophone. "But it appears that the maid of honor is missing. Paging Bella Swan,"he added, shielding his eyes from the light and searching the room. "Where is BellaSwan?"

"I think you better drink that fast," Angela suggested, nodding to the drink I hadbarely taken a sip of.

"Bel-lah!" Rosalie yelled doing her best Street Car Named Desireimpression…except Brando hadn't been riding a giant penis.

I took one look at Rosalie on stage and one look at the cosmo.

"Here goes nothing," I said, lifting the glass and draining the contents.

The moment I stood up I realized that the two drinks had affected my balancemore than I had anticipated. I hobbled toward the stage, grabbing Alice's hand forassistance to climb up.

"Alright, folks. The future Mrs. Cullen is going to sing a little song for us, and herbridal party will be providing back-up," he announced. "Ladies, your microphones."

The emcee handed us each what appeared to be a rubber penis. I jumped,dropping it on the floor as if it were on fire.

"Don't worry, sweetie. These are the safest penises you'll ever have in yourhands," he leered.

Ew.

"Bella," I heard Angela call from off-stage. "Here." She thrust a cosmo up into myhands. I took a quick gulp and felt my nerves calm.

Next thing I knew, I was sharing a mic with Rosalie, singing into the rubber penisabout how my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

After the next drink, I was leading a conga-line around the bar while wearing athree-foot paper penis hat on my head.

- 6 -

In the middle of the next, I was vaguely aware that Rosalie was speaking to me. Iwas still wearing the hat, too.

"Belly, it's sooo nice to see you relax for a change," she began, garbling her words."You never let loose."

"I let loose all the time!" I argued.

"Like at the tax season wrap-up party? Yay, we're accountants and we're gettingdown," she taunted me.

"I can cut loose, Rose," I insisted. "If I want to."

"Okay, prove it. I am the bride and I decree that Bella needs to drunk dialsomeone."

"Gah! I have no one to drunk dial, Rose!" I cried.

Who would I call? My mother?

"What about Edward?" she suggested, smirking at me.

Edward? Why would she say that! I hadn't said a thing to her. Besides, I couldbarely even speak to him.

"You're ridiculous," I replied, stumbling over the syllables.

"Oh my God!" Alice squealed. "Look at her blush!"

"She's probably just sweating out the booze," Kate sneered.

Bitch.

"You do like Edward," Rosalie exclaimed. "I knew it!"

"He's cute, but…whatever!" I huffed indignantly.

"Okay, okay, I'll back off," she began, raising her hands up in mock surrender."Instead of drunk dialing, how about this? I'll pick a random number, and you haveto text a naughty message."

"No way. She'll never do it," Alice chimed in.- 7 -

Was that a challenge?

"You're on," I said, taking another gulp of my fourth or fifth cosmo.

Hah! Suck it, Disbelievers!

I fumbled with my purse, digging clumsily for my cellphone. I handed it to Rosalietriumphantly, more than ready to prove I could be just as wild and crazy as theycould be.

Rosalie shot Alice a sideways glance, and then took to the keypad, entering thedigits. She handed it back to me with the unfamiliar number at the top.

"Okay, Belly, tell us - what's the naughtiest thing you can think of saying?" sheasked, quirking an eyebrow.

Naughtiest? I had no idea.

"What would you say if it were Edward," Alice sang.

"Quiet, you. I'm thinking," I snapped back.

"How about 'When I think of you, I need to change my panties'?" Rosaliesuggested, laughing.

"Ew, no," I replied.

"Well isn't it true, Bella?" Angela teased.

"We are not discussing panty changes. That's gross," I insisted. "How about'Thinking of you makes me hot'?"

"That's the best you can come up with?" Rosalie asked incredulously.

"I want to ease into it, Rose," I explained, attempting to type on the keypad. Thenumbers were jumbling together, though, and some of them seemed to be moving.That didn't seem right.

As I looked at the screen, the reality of it hit me. I had no idea who was on theother end of this text. It could be an old guy. It could be someone's mother!

"Let me see!" Alice exclaimed, plucking the phone from my hands. I was about to- 8 -

fess up that I was chicken and back down when I heard her giggle.

"There. Sent," she announced, happily.

"Did you actually send it?" I panicked. Alice nodded, happily, adding a little clap."Oh no."

"Relax," Kate added. "The person is probably going to think you're a drunk jerkand delete it."

At least I was drunk, Kate. You have no excuse for acting like a jerk.

As soon as I placed my BlackBerry down, it began to vibrate and skip across thetable. My heart began to race.

"Oh my God! The person responded!" Angela yelled, clapping.

I nervously picked it up, and read the screen.

Who is this?

They grabbed the phone, passing it around and squealing like schoolgirls.

"Say 'I'm your naughtiest fantasy,'" Alice suggested.

"No, no. 'Someone who needs a spanking'," Rosalie added.

"I have it," Angela announced, typing into the keypad. "There."

She handed it back to me, and under the sent items I saw a message that read - Ur dream come true. BTW, I'm not wearing any underwear.

"What are you guys doing?" I exclaimed, utterly humiliated.

"Relax, Belly," Rosalie replied. "This is my party and it's fun! Pretend you're tellingEdward your deepest, darkest desires."

"I'm texting back to explain that you are all crazy," I announced, eliciting moans ofprotest from the group. "I wouldn't tell Edward that I wasn't wearing underwear!"

Before I was able to type, another message popped up.

- 9 -

No underwear? Don't u think we should be introduced b4 that type of infois divulged?

When Rosalie leaned over to pull the phone away, I got up on shaky legs, butmanaged to type a short message.

So sry. Friends are stupid. Hijacked phone. Want to kill. Girl's Night Out isbad.

"What did you just type?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"An apology," I replied, exasperated.

"Lame, Bella!" she exclaimed, sporting an exaggerated pout. "Lame!"

I hadn't even placed the phone down when it buzzed back.

No worries. Glad 4 u & ur underwear. I understand. My brother is about topass out. Protect phone from drunken friends.

"Alright, girls. It's getting late," Alice began. "Rose, do you want to call Em andmeet up with the guys for last call?"

The guys? Meaning Edward? Had I not endured enough humiliation?

"I'm having Tyler pick me up," Kate announced, snapping her phone open. "Thiswhole scene is fail."

As Rosalie attempted to dial her own phone three different times, I took theopportunity to write back to the Mystery Guy.

Will do. Again, rly sry. Good luck w ur nite out. Im stuck until last call.Pity me.

"So, we're heading to Sonny's to meet the guys?" Alice asked Rose.

"Yup, let's move on out, girls," she bellowed, parading over to the door. I removedthe paper penis hat from my head. That was not how I wanted Edward to see me.

I felt my phone vibrate as I walked towards the door and took a quick look.

Is it wrong for me to bag out on last call? Drunk brother. Pain in ass.- 10 -

I smiled at his message, comforted by the idea that someone else was wishingthey were home instead of at a bar.

I have it worse. Certain humiliation. Friends with big mouths & a cute boy.

I climbed into the limo behind the girls, still shaky and light-headed. Alice crankedup the radio, singing along to If You Seek Amy with Rose and Angela. I almostmissed the vibration of my phone over the thumping of the speakers.

Oh, I see. Don't tell him about us. He may get jealous.

I almost giggled out loud when I read his response. I couldn't imagine explainingto Edward that I was having a text conversation with a complete stranger. Well, Icouldn't imagine having any conversation with Edward. Fessing up to this wascompletely out of the question.

Not a problem, Mystery Guy. I have no game. Probably won't talk at all.

Taking advantage of my time to plan, I began thinking of a topic to broach withEdward. "Nice weather we're having" wasn't going to cut it.

The next message arrived almost instantaneously.

U can always tell him ur not wearing any underwear. I hear that works.

This time, I laughed out loud at his response, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Belly, are you still texting with E…that random guy?" Rosalie asked tentatively.

"It's nothing," I replied, probably too quickly.

Alice looked at me and then to Rose.

"It's not a big deal," I reiterated. Fortunately at that moment, the driver pulledover, looking for a spot, and distracting the girls. While they crawled out of the car,bidding the driver goodnight, I typed in my message.

Topic of my underwear is off limits. Gah! We're here. Say a prayer.

I got another immediate response.

Is it rude to tell the waitress that I don't date woman same age as my- 11 -

mother?

I stepped out of the limo, staring at my phone and punching in the keys.

When we walked into the pub, my eyes immediately settled on the group ofbeat-up looking guys at the table in the corner. Emmett was splayed across it, barelyconscious. Jasper's shirt was untucked and rumpled. That horrible Mike Newton wasyammering away about something, and Edward was staring at his phone, completelyignoring him.

I decided to sneak one more text before I sat down.

Watch out for cougars. They bite. He's here. What do I say?

"Alice!" Jasper exclaimed, startling Edward so that he looked up at us. Our eyesmet briefly before I looked away nervously. "My sweet, beautiful Alice. When Emsaid he wanted to go see dancing girls, you know what I said? I said no. You knowwhy?"

Alice just looked at him skeptically and quirked her brow.

"Because I love my wife," he slurred. "I love my wife!" he announced loudly to theentire pub.

Mike took the opportunity to cough "Loser" into his fist. Edward was distracted byhis phone, and was clearly not even remotely interested in my presence. I waslamenting the fact that I should have just gone home, when I felt the phone buzzwith Mystery Guy's response. It made me smile.

I've never been a virtual wingman. Interesting. There was a good baseballgame yesterday. Yankees cinched the AL East.

I typed back swiftly, taking a seat.

I have no idea what that means, MG, but it sounds good.

"Baby!" Emmett cried, his head resting on his folded arms.

"I'm right here, Em," Rosalie replied, rubbing his back.

"Baby!" he yelled again as if he didn't hear.

- 12 -

"I said I'm right here," she added, wincing as he shouted.

"Baby," he replied, looking up for the first time, relief passing over his features.His eyes were glassy, his face was red, and he had a mark across it from where hishead was pressed against his arms. "I have a great idea."

"Oh, yeah," she asked cautiously. He started nodding enthusiastically.

"I think we should sing our vows,'" he announced, wide-eyed.

Edward choked on his beer and Mike revisited his cough-loser response. Wipingthe beer from his mouth with one hand, Edward shoved Mike with the other.

"Enough, okay," he warned. He shook his head at Mike, and our eyes met briefly. Ismiled nervously, but since I tended to press my lips together when I was nervous, Iwas convinced I probably looked like I had to burp. When he smiled back and rolledhis eyes at Mike, my face suddenly felt hot and I started to sweat. I decided it wasthe perfect time to try out Mystery Guy's conversation starter.

"So, great Yankees game yesterday. So glad they cinched the AL East," I stated,looking around the table. Feeling triumphant, my gaze ended with Edward. He,however, looked stricken.

"It's clinched, Bella," Mike sneered. "They clinched."

My face flamed and my heart started hammering in my chest.

"Excuse me a minute," Edward muttered, pushing back from the table so fast thathis chair almost tipped over.

"Shut up, Mike," Jasper replied. "Stop acting like a shit just because you couldn'tget laid."

As my hands shook, I picked up my phone and noticed a message.

Srry. Clinched, not cinched. New phone. Smaller keys. Mocks me.

"Oh my God," I groaned, looking at the screen. I made a complete fool of myself infront of him.

MG! SOS! Didn't get last text and said cinched. He left table bc Im socreepy!

- 13 -

His response was fortunately quick.

Im sure that wasn't why. Tell me - how long have you been interested inthis guy?

I wanted to tell him to focus and help me out of this jam. I didn't need him to turninto Dr. Phil. But he led me to think back to that day at the shower. After we loadedup all of the gifts, we were getting ready to leave. I was avoiding any directconversation with Edward, because I was convinced I'd turn into the yammeringdork I had just proved I could be.

So I watched from afar as he helped Rosalie's five-year old cousin, Jane, turn thesleeves of her coat right-side out and pull out her gloves from inside her knit hat. Hecarefully helped her put on her jacket, coaching her as she fumbled with the zipper.When he got her mittens and hat on, he raised his palm up, celebrating the effortwith a high-five.

That was when.

He did something sweet. It's the little things, kwim? A simple hi-five.

When I looked up from the screen, Edward still hadn't returned, but the otherswere grabbing their things and preparing to leave. Mystery Guy's text distractedme.

So what would you have liked this guy to say to u?

That was a good question. Obviously, I wanted him to profess his undying love forme. That was a given. But in all honesty, I just wanted him to notice me like I'dnoticed him. It wasn't an easy thing to admit. I was only probably able to do itbecause I was admitting it to a faceless person via text.

That he thinks I look pretty tonight.

I winced as I pressed send, uncertain about revealing so much about myself.

"So, you don't think it's a good idea?" Emmett whined, as Rosalie hoisted his armaround her neck, bracing him as they walked around the table.

"No, baby," she replied. "Singing our vows is most definitely not a good idea."

While I was watching Rosalie attempt to maneuver Emmett towards the door, I- 14 -

hadn't notice Edward return. He was fidgeting with his phone and running his handaround the back of his neck.

"Belly, are you catching a ride with us?" Rosalie asked over her shoulder.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Emmett groaned.

"I think we'll be driving with the windows down," Rosalie added, hurrying over tothe door.

"Um, I'll take Bella home."

I whipped my head around, startled by the sound of his voice – by the mention ofmy name.

He looked up at me nervously, and I was taken aback by the change in hisdemeanor. He seemed so uncertain.

"That is, if it's okay with you," he added.

"No, I mean, yes, that's okay with me," I stammered. "That's good. Really."

I wished I could freeze time and ask Mystery Guy how I could stop acting like sucha spaz.

"I'm parked in the lot across the street. I'll go get the car and I'll meet you outfront," he offered. I nodded nervously and gathered up my things to wait outside.Grabbing my phone, I typed another message.

He's driving me home. Wish me luck, MG. Hope ur night is going well!

The phone buzzed as I followed the others outside.

U don't need luck. For all u know, he may have felt the same way all along.He may even say what u want to hear.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Belly," Rosalie said, pulling me into a hug. "I had a greatnight. Thanks for being such a good sport. I'm sure Edward will take good care ofyou," she added, signaling to the silver car that was pulling up to the sidewalk.

Before I could open the car door, Edward hopped out. I watched him curiously,wondering where he was going. It hadn't occurred to me that he was getting out to

- 15 -

open my door for me. As he reached down to open the car door, I was struck by hisclose proximity. I could feel the heat coming off his body as I moved past him andinto the car. The smell of his aftershave was intoxicating. I wanted to sniff him, but Irealized that would be creepy, and I had already filled my quota.

"So, Rosalie tells me you're a CPA?" he asked, breaking the silence. Rosalie, ofcourse, had neglected to mention any conversation she had with Edward about me.That little nugget of information might have been helpful.

"Um, yes, what do you do, Edward?"

"I teach AP English to bunch of unruly freshman," he replied. "I'm filling in as amid-year replacement, but I'm hoping to get a full-time staff position next year."

"English, huh? So what type of torture do you subject your students to? Canterbury Tales? Great Expectations?"

I was a bit surprised at how easy it was to simply chat with Edward. The tension Ifelt earlier had dissipated.

"Torture?" he gasped in mock protest. "Are we talking about the same CanterburyTales?"

"I probably wouldn't know. I read The Summoner's Tale and then bought the CliffNotes. Old English was not my friend."

"Well, maybe you just need to have a better teacher," he replied with a sidelongglance.

The tone of his voice was deep and gravely. If I didn't know better, I would swearthat Edward was flirting with me, but that was ridiculous.

"My apartment is up on the right," I added, signaling for him to veer off.

He pulled along the curb, killed the engine and hopped out of the car once again.This time I was a little more prepared, but still not used to a guy who was so sweetand old-fashioned. It made the fact that I had acted like a spaz that much harder.

I stepped out when he opened the door. Turning around to thank him, I wasstartled to see him advancing, walking along with me to my apartment door.

Suddenly the air seemed heavy and the tension I felt earlier had returned with a- 16 -

vengeance. Our light banter from the car gave way to a very awkward silence. Istarted to panic.

"Um, well, goodnight, Edward. Thank you for the ride," I offered, as we reachedthe front stoop.

He stared at me for a moment, searching my face curiously. It was unnerving andkind of weird.

"Good night, Bella," he said softly, almost wistfully. When he turned and headedback down the walkway, I pulled out my key and fumbled with the lock. I was still sohappy to have shared the ride home with him, but disappointed to see him go.

I heard his footsteps jogging back towards me, before I heard him call my name.When I turned around, he was standing right next to me on the stoop and again Iwas overcome by his close proximity.

"Bella," he said softly. He tilted his body slowly toward mine so that I could feelhis breath across my face. "I should have told you earlier," he began with anintensity that made me quiver. "You look very pretty tonight."

I gasped as he said the words – the same ones I told Mystery Guy I wanted tohear.

He brought his hand up, cupping my cheek and I leaned into his touch, drawing ina sharp breath at the feeling.

"And you're wrong. You have more game than you give yourself credit for," headded, looking me nervously in the eye.

"You!" I gasped incredulously.

"Bella, if I had any idea, I would have said something sooner," he beganapologetically.

"Oh my God!" I replied, burying my head in my hands. "I'm so embarrassed. Howlong have you known?" I cried.

"Bella, listen to me," he interrupted, peeling my hands back from my face. "I'vewanted to tell you that since the first time I saw you."

I couldn't believe this was happening. I wanted to text Mystery Guy and fill him in.- 17 -

Ironic.

"What?"

"I watched you laughing and joking with everyone after the shower. I wanted somuch to talk to you, but you didn't seem very interested in talking to me, so I didn'tpush it. That's when I asked Rosalie about you."

"I don't believe this," I breathed as I looked into his eyes.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he said softly, searching my eyes, but then focusingon my mouth.

"That's all you wanted," I asked, as he leaned in closer.

"No," he added, shaking his head slowly. "I wanted you."

He threaded his hand into my hair and around my neck, pulling me deliciouslycloser to him. Leaning forward, he lightly brushed his lips against mine. I gasped,breathing heavy. I sounded asthmatic, but I didn't care. He had barely touched me,and I was on fire. He moved his lips in a slow, calculated manner over mine. Whilehe had started out light and teasing, it didn't take long for the mood to shift. Hismouth moved in sync along with mine, warm and inviting. He held me flush againsthim, panting, teasing and tasting. And while I had never been a fan of publicdisplays of affection, if he wanted to throw me down in the foyer and have his waywith me, I probably wouldn't have complained.

He pulled away slowly, laughing heartily with his arms still wrapped around mywaist.

"So, we did this kind of backwards," he began, smiling brightly. "I guess I don'thave to ask you for your phone number."

"I think we have that covered," I agreed.

"So, I have this wedding coming up and I don't have a date," he added, lookinguncertain. "Would you go with me?"

"Only if you promise not to tell Mystery Guy about us," I teased, nuzzling againstthe scruff on his face.

"Good idea. I think Mystery Guy had a thing for you," he teased.- 18 -

"He did keep asking me about my underwear."

"I promise not to ask any questions about your underwear," he said, raising hishand in Scout's Honor.

"You probably shouldn't. I may not be wearing any," I replied, opening the doorand walking inside. "Call me," I added with a wave, before letting the door closebehind me.

A/N: Big thanks to MsKathy for organizing this fundraiser, to all of thewonderful people who donated, and to those who spread the word.

You can thank AngryBadgerGirl for the prompt and for the inflatablepenis. *snort* I still maintain it would have been funnier if she wrote it! Mylove to WriteOnTime for having to correct grammar involving the words"rubber penis".

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