CHRISTMAS“It’s a Guy Thing”

A Helpful Guide to Christmas Past, Present & Future by and For Guys – and For Those Who

Own One or Have to Put Up With Them

Ye MERRY Olde XMAS GUIDE INCLUDES• WHAT TO GIFT THE GUY IN YOUR LIFE – YOUNG TO OLD -

GEEK TO GEEZER – HUNKY OR HANDY• GIFT BUYING GUIDES FOR GUYS – HOW TO AVOID MAJORLY

SCREWING UP XMAS (AGAIN!)• HOBBIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS – BE CRAFTY AND MAKE BIG

BUCKS TOO• XMAS DECORATING & TREE TRIMMING TIPS FOR MEN• BEER, BABES, TUNES, FOOD, SMOKES, DANCING GIRLS,

MORE BEER – LOTS OF BEER• UN-OPRAH BOOK CLUB FOR MEN• the Mighty “Tee’s” – Trains, Trucks, Tractors, Tires,

Thunderbirds, Taxidermy – and The Hockey• WHOLE BUNCH OF HISTORY STUFF ABOUT HOW XMAS

USED TO BE, KINDA, MIGHT HAVE BEEN, SORT OF • Philosophical, Scientific & Existential Trooths• Oh, and Even Some Purdy things too – to Impress &

Placate the Womenfolk (Warning Guys – There Be Unicorns!!)

AND, SO MUCH MERRY, MERRY MORE…..

Great Gifts For Little Guys Cause its Never too Early to teach them life’s important lessons – like,

For Instance, how to open a beer bottle with your teeth - and how not to pee upwind - and When & How to Do Other Cool & Important Guy Things.

Some Stuffy Little Science Nerd On Your Gift List?Some SuckyGiftIdeasHere

But, Now Here’s Some Real “Guy Science”Starter Kits!!!

HoHoHo

Got a Kid Called Sparky?

“Lookin’ Purdy on the CNR” - Xmas ‘86 - From the Joan Melvin Photograph Museum & Archives

Time for Christmas Movies!!! Now, Aren’t you glad you kept your trusty VCR even though she told you near a 1000 Times to get rid of it???

Great Green Guy Movie

NOT AGREAT!!! Green

Guy Movie

Classic ChristmasMovies – Despite a few Minor geography & HistoryIssues

Hmmmmm???

Trucks for The Little Guys

AndThenTrucks For When They’reAllGrown Up

Super Model Car Kits

With Elvira as a

Bonus!!!

Just Say No!!!Imagine the shock, shame, horror & outright humiliation if you found one of these in your sock come Xmas morn!!! (Great gifts for your brother though! Har, Har!)

Really, ReallyBad CarKits!

Hey, guys would I kid you about something as important as car kits?!?! Got major mixed emotions on this here AMT, Impala SS 1/25 model kit/modele reduit. I mean it would be a natural for bragging rights and winning bar bets – but then there’s them voices… Well, I’m sure you get why I’m a just a little bit leery to just send off for this baby. Let me know if you get up the nerve yourself. (Besides, I’m Not Exactly Clear how they know if I’m “Skill Level 2” .)

Music Man -Get the LatestAnd greatest…

THE UN-OPRAH BOOK CLUB FOR MEN

Run Like Hell If you see any of these “OPRAH” Books Layin’ Around!Xmas KillersWomen Give Each Other.

Scary!!!

Let’s stick together on this one, guys. These are “action figures” not dolls!Get it!!!

GUYS, ARE YOU SNIFFING AROUND FOR A HOBBY THIS CHRISMAS? LOOK NO FURTHER!

HERE’S MY FINAL PROJECT FROM WHEN I TOOK THE COURSE MYSELF. PRETTY COOL, EH?! NOT THAT I’M BRAGGIN OR NOTHIN, BUT EVEN THE WIFE ADMITS I MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS SINCE I FIRST STARTED. ALREADY PUT OUT A SIGN ON THE FRONT LAWN.

SENT AWAY WEEKS AGO FOR MY OFFICIAL T-CERTIFICATE, T-BADGE AND T-NOSE PLUGS. SURE SEEMS TO BE TAKING A LONG TIME FOR THEM TO GET BACK TO ME THOUGH….

High time I Turned My Time & Talent Into TOP Dollars, I Say. Lookin’ Forward to Getting Some Big Juicy Stuffing Jobs From Those

Bay $treet Boy$, Calgary Oilmen and Hollywood Bigwigs……

GUYS: IF YOU ARE ALSO CONSIDERING A HOBBY OR EVEN A LUCRATIVE CAREER “T-CAREER”, IN TAXIDERMY, KEEP IN MIND YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE COMING UP SMELLING LIKE ROSES. THERE’S BOUND TO BE SOME REAL WORK - AND MAYBE EVEN SOME ACTUAL DANGER. THAT’S WHAT COMES WITH THE BIG BUCKS, FAME AND T-GROUPIES. PRICE O’ GLORY, MEN!!!

This Christmas , for starters, you might instead want to consider launching one of these other exciting , but less risky hobbies or entrepreneurial endeavors.

Hope you’re already married cause you might as well forget about girlfriends for a while – at least until you spring for a fumigator or until the big bucks start rolling in.

Then the skies the limit….

Geez, haven’t I learned you dudes anything about being a guy???

You must be from Sherwood Park or something?

Need some last minute Xmas gift ideas

for the Mother-in-law? Feeling crafty?

Here’s some real crowd pleasers suggested by

Bill & Jen back there in Owen Sound. I’m

told you can go from stump to Santa in about

eight minutes if your chainsaw is up to snuff.

Unused butt ends can be quickly turned into a

lifetime of turkey platters - or a snag into a

dainty table corsage – all in less time than it

takes to have a smoke. The wreath is a bit la-

di-da for my taste. Probably an Ontario thing.

Present for David Suzuki and Elizabeth May. Heh, heh, heh!!!

Little paranoid are ya’, Santa? Still not legal up there at the North Pole? Apparently, not long to wait down here though. Justin’s still just movin’ into his new digs and mellowin’ out with

his Mom (Maggie), but she’ll be on his case soon though. In the meantime, that sure looks like some seriously loathsome twiggy stuff you got stashed there in the wood shed. Better load up on some good BC Bud at a local Jiffy Mart while you’re flyin’ thru Vancouver this Xmas.

Well , Well Santa, looks like you finally found your real stash - wherever it was that sneaky Rudolph hid it. Red nose and beedy eyes indeed!!! You shoulda suspected….

Very, very bad Xmas gifts here. Don’t even think it. Even if the ToeTunes look like a pretty neat invention at first. But what if the gang saw you dancing like that dude on the shoe box??? You’d be even worse off than these other “guys”. Think about it, Dude! Just not worth the risk. (And, hey, I ain’t ordinarily superstitious, myself , but don’t go making eye contact with that bloody elf!)

Impress the hell out of ‘em this Xmas. Tell them this year its your turn to trim the tree! No more waiting to be asked…..

New Camera for Xmas? Need a Hobby That Makes Money Too?

Why not be a Global Photo- Journalist and Sample the World’s Brews.

Guaranteed Big Bucks - and a Babe –Magnet Too!

XMAS IN CANADA = HOCKEY

The Ancient Rivals

Jack Appleyard’s Pee Wee Hockey Team, Hinton Alberta, 1961Ian Hamilton Official Archives

Time to Tie OneOn….Ho, Ho, Ho! (For Don)

Sizzzzzling Xmas gift

sensations!!! Something for everyone –

even a T-shirt ideal for the

lonely vegetarian

in your crowd.

Huh???Definitely

Mixed Xmas

Messages!

FabulousFun Gifts For Under Five Bucks!!!

Good Ties – Pre-Approved

I don’t know about those ties down below. Kinda sketchy to me. But they sure seem to have worked OK for our Man Van!

Bad Ties. Very Bad Ties!

Great Gift for bachelors

Even better for husbands

Get some extra jollies this Xmas…. Simply do the Old Switcheroo on Your Gift Lists.Funtastic Gift Packages and Cheap Laughs for the whole clan. ORDER NOW!!!

Xmas Gift Package #1 Xmas Gift Package

#2

FunGifts for the throne room& Practical Too!

Sorry. Coffee Cup Not For Sale. Display Purposes Only. (Sentimental Value)

Use caution when choosing after shave stuff. These are all time tested and highly effective - when used as directed.

Bit on the Pricy Side, but if You’ve got One of those Techy sort of Guys on Your Shopping List, Here Are Some Real Winners This Xmas.

Just Can’t Find Her in Stores Anymore. Not Even For Sale On Late Night Television.

But, my Blonde Babe Personal PD is Priced to Sell - just in Time for Xmas.

(Wife Just Never Lets Me Fire Up the PD For Guests Anymore. Not Ever Since Carol Came to Visit. Geeeezzz!!!)

Rebuilt Motor ( x2 ) and Custom Torque Converter

Dash Mount & 6-Scent Aroma Therapy Blaster Included

Sorry, Lost The Instruction Manual

Price Negotiable

12

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9 #10

Tied for #11For All Time Worst Gifts Ever

And At #12Of The All Time Worst Gifts Ever is this >>>>>>>>Just Makes Me Shaky Crazy!!!

The Xmas Classics – A Must For Every Guy

Songs & Albums Guaranteed toIrritate , Annoy and Enrage Almost Everybody on Your Xmas List.

Experiment…

Have Fun!

GUYS. EVER WONDER – “WHAT DO WOMEN

Really, REALLY WANT”?

HEY, ME TOO!!!WELL HERE’S OUR ANSWER.

THIS SECRET LIST USED TO BE EXCLUSIVELY AVAILABLE TO MEMBERS OF THE POSSUM LODGE ONLY, BUT IS NOW AVAILABLE FREE TO OUR

Paid Up SUBSCRIBERS.

TRY IT OUT THIS XMAS AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU…. Well,

YOU KNOW - IF IT WORKS. I’LL LET YOU KNOW TOO…. (Nudge, Nudge. Wink, Wink)

CAN’T WAIT.

Lookin’ to Score (Some Points ) with the Wife???

<<< OMG - They’re Winking Back – Kinda Freaky!!!!!

More Wife Pleasers for Every Budget.

NAUGHTY SANTA

Guys , don’t make the same mistake I did last year. Stick to our trusty sponsors for all your Xmas shopping! Otherwise, Big Mistake!!!

If you find any of these glossies cluttering up your workbench, or in your lunch or tool box , do not – I repeat do not - use them to start a fire in the fireplace. “Apparently” they are put in your workshop by females of all ages to drop gift hints, or something like that.

And, oh yeah, don’t skip straight to the tool section at the end either - without at least skimming through the boring and embarrassing stuff. Just sayin’…

And plan ahead this year...Here are some obvious sure fire winners for the little ladies in your life. Come on, if I can do it, you can do it! How hard can it be, anyways???

Well, As IT Turns out, wives don’t always share a guy’s Particular sense of humour or Natural Born aesthetics.

Seems you just can’t win with ‘em!

Even if the kid Totally loved the “Awesome” present!!!

Trust me Guys. There is a Big, Big price to be paid for screwing up Xmas. Being force fed fruit cake until spring time by a Bell-Wearing Dude in Red Tights is just no fun.

Get help! Heck, Even get your sisters to help if You Totally Freak Out Over shopping. Never, never Go it Alone!!

Don’t Mess Up (Again) Guys.

Cause Here’s The Competition…..

Damn Them Unicorns!!!

Gift ideas for the

youngster in the family.

Please support our major sponsor this Xmas – and collect some real money at

the same time!

Sponsored by North Pole Global Enterprises, Inc

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HistorySuck.ca

Disclaimer & Credits & Recommended ViewingDisclaimer

This PowerPoint "Image Essay" was created by HistorySucks.ca and is strictly for educational/historical purposes only. There is no commercial interest or intent. The essay is intended to show historical issues, events and ideas in an entertaining way.

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Image CreditsHamilton, Ian, Calgary Alberta - Photograph of Pee Wee Hockey Team, Hinton Alberta

Kljatov, Alexey (Алексей Клятов) aka ChaoticMind75. "I live in Moscow, Russia. My current interests: photography (HDR from multiple exposures, mostly night cityscapes; macro, especially snowflakes, and still life lightpainting)." Web Site: https://www.flickr.com/people/chaoticmind75/Article on Kljatov in Huntington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/03/alexey-kljatov_n_4373888.html

Melvin, Joan, Hinton Alberta - Photograph of Hinton CNR Train Station:

Old Entrance Bed & Breakfast, Old Entrance, Alberta: Photograph of Entrance Train Station & Old Wagon, and Woodley Bros Sign. http://www.oldentrance.ab.ca/

Pink Galaxy: GALAXY: http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20151213-11-far-away-galaxies

Polkowski, Jane, Painting of Barbershop Quartet - Art-by-Jane.com - : http://art-by-jane.com/workszoom/1864505

Wurlitzers on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/fudgemarley/wurlitzers/

RECOMMEND VIEWING: Wonderful Christmas Flying Snowman Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A3THighARU

HistorySucks.ca