chicago jewish advertiser -november 2012

CHICAGOJEWISH

ADVERTISER

November 2012 • Vol. 4 No. 11

2 NOVEMBER 2012 TO ADVERTISE 773.336.8225

[email protected] CJA 3


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My Rebbi, Rabbi Yitzhock Feigelstock, theRosh Yeshiva of Mesivta of Long Beach, had aunique way of advising young couples beforethey got married. He would meet separatelywith each of them, sitting first with his student,the new Choson, and say, “You are responsiblefor 90 percent of the ‘Shalom Bayis’ (maritalharmony) in the marriage. Your future wife isonly responsible for 10 percent.” And then hewould send the young man out and ask for thenew Kalah. When she was seated he would firstspend a few minutes making small talk, puttingher at ease, and then he would tell her, (youprobably guessed it) “You are responsible for 90percent of the ‘Shalom Bayis’ in the marriageand your future husband is only responsible for10 percent.”You have to understand that Rabbi Feigelstock

certainly knew that they would compare notes.When asked about this, he explained that a goodmarriage, with healthy Shalom Bayis is difficultto achieve, especially in the beginning. Both thehusband and the wife need to put in a lot morethan 50 percent for the relationship to flourish.And so, he continued, with the couple puttingin around 180 percent, hopefully it’ll be enough.Over the years I’ve come to appreciate more

and more, his wisdom. Because it’s not only thatit takes real commitment and effort to have aclose, harmonious relationship, the truth is thatmarried couples are often stuck in an ongoingargument of “who’s working harder?” The RoshHayeshiva’s message is really, stop keeping score,it’s not going to be exactly even. Each spouseneeds to stay focused on the big picture, the picture of living a life of Shalom Bayis. To be

fully committed to making the other feel goodabout him/herself, good about the marriage,and secure in the knowledge that one has thelove and respect of the other.

A quick disclaimer. If the situation is that oneis overwhelmingly giving and the other is over-whelmingly taking, that might not be such agood recipe for Shalom Bayis. My intent here isto talk to the more common experience, whereeach is working and contributing in many, perhaps different ways to the relationship, but itmay not always be even. It ebbs and flows,sometimes one is giving more, and at other timesthe other is. One may be feeling more depletedand needs his/her spouse to step up and domore. At these times, if you listen closely, youcan hear my Rebbi’s encouraging words, “You’reresponsible for 90 percent, she’s only responsible for 10.”

Commitment to marriage and the 90/10, notkeeping score rule, means giving thought to myrelationship. And giving thought doesn’t meanmaking a list of all the things my spouse mustchange in order for us to have good ShalomBayis. It means working on my smile,appreciation, compliments, empathy, andwarmth. It means limiting my criticisms, to fewand far between, only when necessary, and spoken with gentleness and sensitivity. It meansworking on patience and humility, and it meansworking on anger management, andcommunication, both verbal and nonverbal,being careful of my spouse’s dignity, not rollingmy eyes or using sarcasm when upset.

And it also means living a life of happiness. Itdoesn’t mean it will be perfect, but it doesn’tneed to be, remember? We’re not keeping score.

Dr. Lob is a clinical psychologist in private prac-tice in Chicago, working with adults, adolescents,and families, for many years. He lectures andwrites extensively on topics relating to psychology,relationships, parenting, education, and Jewishthought.

NOT KEEPING SCOREBy Dr. Jerry Lob


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Please be aware that the Sunkist brandCoconut Ice Cream Bar incorrectly bearsa “cRc Dairy Equipment” logo. Theproduct is kosher but contains actually dairyingredients (cholov stam) as noted in theingredients and allergen information.

Airheads Party Mix, Perfetti Van MelleUSA Inc., Erlanger KY is a bag of candiesthat contains taffies and lollipops. Some ofthose bags mistakenly bear an unauthorized

OU symbol. The Airheads taffies arecertied kosher by the Orthodox Union andeach individual taffy wrapper bears an OUSymbol. The Airheads lollipops, however,are not certified by the Orthodox Unionand they do not bear an OU Symbol. Cor-rective measures have been implemented.

As a result of a labeling error 144 - 24ounce jars (12 - 12 count cases) of cRc certified Ma Baensch Marinated Herring

with Sour Cream & Chiveswere labeled as Ma BaenschMarinated Herring in WineSauce. The Ma Baensch Mari-nated Herring in Wine Saucelabel does not reveal the presence of the milk allergenand is cRc -Dairy.

Get your kashrus questionsanswered here! Email:

[email protected]

Soup to Nuts Your kashrus Questions. . . Answered

Written by Rabbi Dovid CohenA service of the Chicago Rabbinical Council2701 West Howard | 773-465-3900

KOSHER ALERTS!

CANNED FRUIT VS. CANNED VEGETABLES

Q. Someone at your office told me that purecanned fruit (without questionable additives such asfruit juice, colorings, flavors, and not produced inIsrael) is acceptable without hashgachah but cannedvegetables should only be purchased with propercertification. What’s the difference between them?

A. To answer this question we’ll have to firstunderstand some details of how canned food isprocessed.

In order to assure that canned food is safe to eat,the can is heated in a “retort” with the food inside thecan so that any dangerous microorganisms or“toxins” are destroyed. An even more intense levelof heating is required to deal with the moresignificant danger of “spores” which are dormant

microorganisms that are encased in a special shell.The spores per se do not pose a danger, but theymust be destroyed so that they do not begin to grow(and produce toxins) when conditions becomemore favorable. Spores will not grow in foods whichare highly acidic (called “high-acid” and defined asbeing a pH of 4.6 or lower) and therefore thespores in those foods do not have to be destroyed.Accordingly, they can be processed with a lower levelof heating than is required for low-acid foods.

Meat, cheese, pasta and most vegetables(including corn, peas, carrot, beans, and tomatoes)are low-acid foods which require the moresophisticated retorts, and a company that has gonethrough the expense of purchasing that retort andthe effort of having it licensed by the FDA, is likely


Congratulations to

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We commend his continued

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to use it for a wide assortment of products. That isto say that even if the company’s primary business isto process simple vegetables, they might rent out theequipment for the processing of tomato sauce orpasta and beef during times that they don’t need theretorts. As a result, canned vegetables require ahashgachah to assure that the equipment is kasheredbefore kosher is produced.

On the other hand, most fruits (includingpineapple) are high-acid foods which can beprocessed on a simpler retort and it is common thatfruit companies will have their own retort which isdedicated to that one product. Not only is the retorttypically dedicated for that product but, in truth, itusually not even suited for the higher-temperatureprocessing required of most non-kosher items (e.g.meat, cheese). [The high-acid retort might be usedfor foods that contain non-kosher grape juice,colors, or flavors, but that use would not render theequipment non-kosher; the reason for that is beyondthe scope of this article.]


Yisrael Goldstein 773-590-2102

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Recipes from our kitchen to yours!

S'mores Cookies

Submitted by Rachel Zimmerman

11 Tablespoons unsalted butter, softened1 cup brown sugar, packed½ cup granulated sugar2 large eggs1 teaspoon vanilla1 teaspoon baking soda½ teaspoon sea salt1 teaspoon cinnamon2 ½ cups flour1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips1 cup mini marshmallows3 regular sized chocolate bars, broken intopieces1-2 packages graham crackers, brokeninto squares

Preheat oven to 3750. Line 1-2 bakingpans with parchment paper. Lay out graham crackers side by side on

pans. (You may have to add or removegraham crackers according to how muchdough you have.)In a medium bowl, whisk together the

flour, baking soda, salt & cinnamon tocombine. Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, creambutter with white & brown sugar untillight & fluffy. Add eggs & vanilla & mixuntil combined.Add the flour mixture to the butter mixer

and combine on low speed.Fold in the chocolate chips and marsh-

mallows. Chill dough in refrigerator for 1hour to overnight. (This step can beskipped.)Place tablespoons of dough on graham

crackers about 1 – 1 ½ inches apart. Pressdown slightly with fingertips.Bake for 5 minutes then remove from ovento press chocolate bar pieces on to the top.You can place as many pieces or as littleas you want depending how much chocolate flavor you want.Bake for 5–7 more minutes or until doughis beginning to turn golden brown at theedges. Remove to a wire rack to cool. Forclean cutting make sure cookies are completely cool and cut with a sharpknife.

Directions

Ingredients

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNERRachel Zimmerman

WIN A $150 Gift Certificate to

ShallotsSubmit your favorite recipe for Chicago Jewish Advertiser’s recipe page.

To enter your favorite recipe, email [email protected]

subject: recipe contest

The winner will be announced in the next issue Chicago Jewish Advertiser reserves the right to exercise discretion in the selection of advertisersand the duration of advertisements as well. Chicago Jewish Advertiser does not assume responsi-bility for the kashrus of any advertisement or product.


Experience • Knowledge • Service

Discounted airfares to Israel & Europe

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Support your Chicago based Travel Agent

Call:

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JEWISH HUMORItÊs funny because we say so!

The First Jewish PresidentThe year is 2016 & the US haselected the first woman aswell as the first Jewish presi-dent, Susan Goldfarb.

She calls up her motherafter election day and says,'Mom, I assume you will becoming to my inaugura-tion?'

'I don't think so. It's a tenhour drive, your father isn'tas young as he used to be,and my arthritis is acting upagain.''Don't worry about it Mom,I'll send Air Force One to pickyou up & take you home. Alimo will pick you up at yourdoor.''I don't know. Everybody willbe so fancy, what on earthwould I wear?''Oh Mom,’ replies Susan, 'I'llmake sure you have a won-derful gown custom-madeby the best designer in NY.''Honey,' Mom complains,'you know I can't eat thoserich foods you & your friendseat.'The President - to - be responds, 'Don't worry Mom.The entire affair is going tobe handled by the bestcaterer in NY, kosher all theway. Mom, I really want youto come.'So Mom reluctantly agreesand on January 20, 2017,Susan Goldfarb is beingsworn in as President of theUnited States . In the frontrow sits the new President'smother, who leans over to asenator sitting next to her.'You see that woman overthere with her hand on theTorah, becoming Presidentof the US?'

The Senator whispers back,'Yes I do.'

Mom says proudly, 'Herbrother is a doctor.'


DoubleTake Can you spot the differences in these two pictures?

10

1. There is an extra sheep. 2. The moon bounce pillar has changed from blue to red. 3. There ismore hay on the ground. 4. A goat is missing. 5. There is an extra goose. 6. The chimney is missing. 7. A boy’s shirt is now green. 8. There is an extra string of flags. 9. The telephone pole ismissing. 10. A boy’s yarlmukah is now red.

qqqqqqqqqq

CHANGES KEEP SCORE

Double Take YOUR Picture! Email your pictures to: [email protected]

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Sales/Recruiting Career -Electronic Payments.

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For more information please call the AMIT office 847/677-3800.

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