chapter 5 revising your writing. copyright © houghton mifflin company. all rights reserved. 5 | 2...

Chapter 5

Revising Your Writing

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 5 | 2

What Do We Mean by Style?

Style refers to the effectiveness of the words, sentences, paragraphs, and overall tone of your message.


Choosing the Right Words Write clearly

Be accurate and complete Use familiar words Use specific, concrete words Avoid dangling expressions Avoid clichés, slang, and unnecessary jargon

Not: Your recent letter … But: Your letter of January 21, 20_ _, … Not: I appreciate your interview last week. But: I appreciate your interviewing me last Tuesday

on Ball State campus.


Use familiar words Prefer short, simple words

Not: To recapitulate, our utilization of adulterated water precipitated the interminable delays.

But: In short, our use of impure water caused the endless delays.


Use specific, concrete words

Not: This notebook PC was out of order several times recently.

But: This notebook PC was out of order three times last month.

Not: I feel I’m the best candidate for this job. But: My academic achievements and work

experience enable me to immediately become a productive member of your team.


Avoid dangling expressions Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address

while traveling to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.

I had been driving for about 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

“Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors.”

Avoid clichés Not: As per your request, every effort will be made

to fix the problem. But: As you requested, we will try to fix the

problem.


Write concisely Avoid redundancy

Not: Signing both copies of the lease is a necessary requirement.

But: Signing both copies of the lease is necessary.

Not: Young adults should plan ahead for retirement.

But: Young adults should plan early for retirement.


Avoid hidden verbs and subjects Not: Both parties came to an agreement ... But: Both parties agreed …

Not: There was no indication that it is necessary to include John in the meeting.

But: No one indicated that John should attend the meeting.

Avoid wordy expressions Not: Let me know as to whether or not we can start drilling

in view of the fact that the problem has not been fixed at the present time.

But: Let me know whether we can start drilling since the problem has not yet been fixed.


Writing effective sentences

Use a variety of sentence types.

Use active and passive voice appropriately.

Use parallel structure.


Developing logical paragraphs

Keep paragraphs unified and coherent. One topic per paragraph

Use parallel structure.

Control paragraph length. Most paragraphs fall into 60 to 80 words or

18-20 lines


Creating an Appropriate Tone Write confidently.

Not: I trust this schedule change will satisfy your needs.

But: This schedule change will enable you to remain at home each morning until your child leaves for school.

Use a courteous and sincere tone Not: You claimed that the order arrived three days late.

But: Your order arrived late because of the airline strike.


Techniques of emphasis

• Short, simple sentences• Major idea first (or last)• Active voice• More space• Language that implies importance• Repetition• Mechanical means


Emphasis—Example A

Dear Dad:

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,

Your $on


Positive language

Prefer positive, vigorous language Not: We cannot ship your order until we receive

your payment. But: As soon as we receive your payment, we

will ship your order.

Not: We cannot replace your laser printer. But: We will be happy to repair your laser printer at

no charge.


Stress the “you” attitude.Not: I liked your presentation at yesterday’s board

meeting.But: Your presentation at yesterday’s board meeting was

just great!Not: We are opening the new fitness center on May 1.But: You may begin working out in the new fitness center

on May 1.


Creative Thinking & Problem-Solving Process Through 3Qs Integration

CQ

IQ

EQ

Creative Solutions & Outcomes

Findings:

Mess DataProblem

Ideas

Solutio

nsAc

cept

ance

Read

ing

Under

stan

ding

Applyin

g

Analyz

ing

Synt

hesiz

ing

Evalua

ting

Curiosity-Brainstorm-Persistence-Innovation

Communication-Empathy-Leadership-Teamwork-MGT


Brainstorming in Creative Ways Having found the problem, you

are ready to brainstorm for Innovative ideas and solutions

Now you need to know whether you have appropriate thinking methods

Please write down your answer to this question: “What are your thinking

processes in finding and solving problems?”


Nine Creative Thinking Approaches Having found the problem, you are

ready to brainstorm for Innovative ideas

You can brainstorm through these creative thinking approaches for solutions: Customer-centered thinking Imaginative thinking Connective thinking Combinational thinking Reversal thinking Transplantable thinking Interdisciplinary thinking Convergence thinking Subconscious thinking

Any other thinking?


1. Customer-Centered Thinking Always Remember:

All innovations come from our discovery of the lacks or weaknesses in our life, and our desire for a better life or higher productivity… (Zhao, 2006)

Approach #1: Customer-centered thinking

Be open-minded, keep keen observation, go into customers’ mind to

identify their needs. What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed

innovation idea? e.g., product, service, …


2. Imaginative Thinking"Imagination is more important than knowledge, for

imagination embraces the world.” Albert Einstein What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed innovation idea?

e.g., product, service, …


3. Connective/Associative Thinking E.g., Starbucks = C/A thinking of McDonald’s What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed innovation idea?


4. Combinational Thinking Outcomes: e.g.,

Combine farming machinery Timed bomb Computerized accounting and

finance Thermal-mugs Coke/Pepsi/Starbucks contract

with restaurants/airlines …

What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed

innovation idea?


5. Reversal Thinking E.g., from broom to Vacuum and electrostatic cleaners

What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed innovation idea?


6. Transplantable Thinking Transplanting thoughts and methods of one

discipline to another discipline E.g., Google transplants word processing,

spreadsheet, database from PC-based to Internet/Web-based applications

E.g., Music composition based on seven basic notes of tone: Transplanting music composition to business: Win-win negotiation = to create more value

for both sides

E.g., bad transplantable thinking from sports games to business: Zero-sum negotiation = to gain most at

others’ cost

What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed innovation idea?


7. Convergence Thinking • Smart cell phone = mobile phone + camera + camcorder + wireless Internet/

WWW + text messaging + remote control of home computer, TV, stereo home-theater system, microwave oven, refrigerator, home security system, ….

• Swiss Army toolkit = knife + screw driver + saw + bottle opener + scissors + ….


8. Interdisciplinary thinking E.g., Artificial Intelligence =

Computer Science * Psychology * Linguistics * Information Systems * ….

E.g., New Health Care = Computer Science * Medical Science * Information Systems * ….

E.g., TQM = Management * Statistics * Purchase * Production * Sales * Service * ….

E.g., biochemistry, criminal psychology, ….

What’s your inspiration? What’s your dreamed innovation

idea?


9. Subconscious Thinking• All the previous eight thinking approaches

belong to conscious mental activities.• However, human beings also have the

subconscious brain activity.• Research found that some people are more

creative in sleep and dreams, in bathtub, or in other subconscious state.

• The subconscious could direct our thoughts and help accomplish tasks so intricate that no conscious mind has the capacity for.

• Be sure to explore your subconscious potential.


Small Group Brainstorming• Spark your innovative ideas through creative

thinking approaches• Remember that creative thinking is omnipotent,

omniscient, and omnipresent • Use Worksheet 2 to log your ideas/solutions

chapter 5 revising your writing. copyright © houghton mifflin company. all rights reserved. 5 | 2...

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