ONE MIDDLE AGED WOMAN'S 30-DAY JOURNEY

TO A MORE PEACEFUL LIFE THROUGH MEDITATION

By Sunny Rahill Goodreau, 2018

email me: Sunny@.MyMeditationJourney.com

INTRODUCTION

Why I decided to write this book:

A friend of mine recently had some unfortunate and trying events occur that completely

disrupted his life, leaving him feeling depressed and frustrated. Pulling knowledge from a

previous time in my life, when I was going through similarly difficult times and found comfort

in meditation and inner-reflection, I began texting him some suggestions and instruction.

From the first text I shared with him, I found my own life feeling more peaceful and relaxed,

and my patience renewed. I decided to document my journey of “rediscovery” by sharing

my notes to him, and my own meditations, with the intent of reaching larger audience and

hopefully help others who are struggling.

About the journey:

Though my journey was to document my daily meditations for one month, this book took

about 90 days to complete. The practices I put in this book are numbered by days, but that

does not mean that you have to do these practices only one day. (Nor do you need to do

them in order!) If you find one method that brings you exceptional peace, do it as many

days as you want. If it’s the only one you do every day for a decade, that’s okay! The point

is to expose you to some possibilities and then YOU decide what works for you!

About the distribution of this book:

This book is provided without cost and distribution is free. However, the work must be

distributed in its entirety. This is my way of "paying it forward" and my reward is the

hope that it will help others find some peace that they did not have before. If you enjoy this

book, please send a copy to a friend in need!! And let me know what you think by visiting

my website: www.MyMeditationJourney.com or via email:

sunny@MyMeditationJourney.com

About the photos:

All photos in this book were taken (or created using GIMP) by myself, or by friends with

their permission to be used in this book. No photos are to be re-used or re-produced

unless they are distributed within this book in its original design.

The first-ish thing I learned about meditation:

Deep breathing exercises initiate a parasympathetic response; when you are relaxed, your

breathing naturally becomes more even, calm, and a bit deeper. So when you mindfully

change your breathing to be more even, calm, and deeper, you “trick” your body into

“thinking” that you’re relaxed. It’s a quick way to make yourself feel peaceful. Meditation

goes further - it is training to actually become more calm, relaxed and peaceful. The more

you practice, the easier it becomes to achieve that relaxed, peaceful state! When you’re

practicing (meditation), it is important to be mentally present - in the here and now. Try not

to worry or think about the past or future, just BE... and know that just BEING is enough!

DAY 1

Motto for the day: “Even the greatest journeys begin with a single step.”

Walkway to the ocean, West Side, Santa Cruz

Staying positive: Start a daily journal of your pain and difficulties. Use this

written document not to revisit the pain, but as a way to get it out so that you can LET

IT GO. As you write the (brief!) details of your hurt, visualize that pain and suffering

flowing out of your body, down your arm, and through the pen as they gather in written

word on the pages.

Once the words are on the page, you don’t need to think about them again. They are

permanently documented and you no longer need to keep them in your mind - freeing

your emotional bandwidth for more positive endeavors!

More importantly, keep another journal where you document AT LEAST one thing you

are grateful or thankful for every single day! Re-read these “happiness pages” on a

regular basis and relive the positive feelings associated with each one as you revisit

them.

Baby turtle and reflection, Xcaret, Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Today’s Meditation: Getting grounded

Start by going to a quiet, pleasant location if at all possible (I always prefer outdoors). If

you can, place your bare feet on the warm ground, or cool grass - whichever is more

comfortable for you. Don’t rush, just take some time to really feel the sensations on the

soles of your feet. Then remember that you, as a living child of Nature, are connected

to every other living thing. This is your time for you - remember that you have nothing

else to do at the moment except enjoy the feelings of connectedness.

Now imagine that your feet have roots and that you can feel them extending down

within the rocks / soil under your feet. Try to “grow” your roots down a bit deeper.

Imagine them extending down into the cool, moist soil and try to feel the sensations that

would cause.

Then take a calming, slow breath. Really feel your lungs expand as they fill with

nature’s unlimited gift of air. As you exhale, let go of any stress or apprehension.

Continue to “grow” your feet roots deeper into the ground while you enjoy more long,

slow breaths in and out.

Take as much time as you want. Don’t rush. If busy thoughts come into your head, set

them aside for now - don’t dwell on them. Just experience the connectedness you are

having with nature; enjoy the GIFT of BEING.

Big Basin State Park, Boulder Creek, CA

DAY 2

Quieting your BRAIN (not your mind)

Yes, there is a difference between your “brain” and your “mind” - there will be more in

that later. For now, let’s just understand that your brain’s job is to remember things that

are dangerous or scary. Thank goodness we have our brains to worry about the

possibility that the guy in front of you on the freeway might swerve into your lane, so you

prepare for it and avoid a horrible accident when he does just that. Our brains are great

in that way! But much of what your brain “worries” about is just noise; very little of the

things we worry about actually come to fruition. (Sources say that only 8% to 15% of

the things we worry about actually happen - that means you are completely wasting

85% to 92% of the energy you use when you worry!) It is also of paramount importance

to realize that worry can’t change anything - it just wastes your energy!

So how do we make our wonderful brain be quiet?

Here’s the thing about your brain: it can only do one thing at a time, though it can jump

from one thought to another really quickly. So to force your brain to be quiet, you need

to make it do two things at once. That might sound counterintuitive because I just told

you that it can’t do two things at once, but trying to focus 100% on two things

simultaneously will force out all of the other disturbing chatter.

Use two of your senses to do this quieting exercise, such as feeling air from a fan

blowing on your skin and listening to the sound that it makes. That’s just a suggestion -

use whatever is convenient for you!

Now that you have two senses to focus on, do just that - try to use 100% of your

concentration on both of those things at the same time. If another thought comes into

your “mind”, set it aside for later. (If a thought absolutely will not leave, write it down

and quickly return to focusing on your two senses.) Eventually, your brain will become

quiet.

Just like anything else in life, it gets easier as you practice! (When I first began to

meditate, it used to take me as much as 30 minutes just to “clear my mind”. After A lot

of practice, I find that I can generally accomplish it in less than a minute, though I still

have days where it takes much longer!)

It may take many hours of practice to train your brain to “hush up”, but your reward is

well worth it!

DAY 3

Motto for the day: “Be as tall as the trees”

Staying positive: Think about someone you really love, such as a sibling,

parent, or life-long friend. I find it is better to avoid using a romantic-type loved person

and using someone to whom you are deeply connected without a physical relationship.

Really focus on the love you have for them. Feel that love completely wash over you

for a few moments.

Now realize that the love you are feeling is being created by you. YOU are the one

who is generating that love. YOU have the amazing ability to produce that kind of

immense positive emotion. Take a few more moments to appreciate that you have the

amazing ability to create massive amounts of love!

Avenue of the Giants, Weott, CA

DAY 4

Tree meditation

You MAY prefer to do this meditation standing. During all of these meditations, your

position should be comfortable and should not distract you from your practice. If it is

more comfortable for you to remain seated, do that!

Go to a pleasant place - it can be the same location you went previously, or it could be

someplace new. Put your bare feet on the warm ground, or cool grass. Take your time

and remind yourself again that you have nothing else to do at the moment except enjoy

the feelings of connectedness with nature and life.

Let go of any busy thoughts and focus on remembering yesterday’s feeling of “roots”

growing from your feet down into the cool, life-giving soil. Take slow, deep breaths in

and out. Don’t rush. If you can only get as far as the previous day, that’s okay! But

when you can get back to your previous depth of connectedness, then continue to the

next phase.

Slowly raise your arms, palms up, until they are about shoulder high. Remembering

that your feet have “roots” growing into the soil, imagine that your arms are the limbs of

the tree. Focus, for a moment, on the center of your chest - about where your heart is.

Now concentrate on the energy radiating from the center of your chest out, out, out,

through your arms and continuing to the very tips of your fingers. Feel how that energy,

brought into your body by your breath, circulates all through you and then travels out

through your outstretched arms, only to be rejuvenated by the next breath. Enjoy that

calming and never-ending energy cycle for several breaths.

When you are ready, slowly raise your arms higher, as if the limbs of your tree are

reaching up toward the sky above. Imagine the breeze gently blowing your arm-limbs

gently to and fro. Feel your tree (self) growing up, up, up toward the sky little by little.

Grow as big as you can, focusing on both the grounded “roots” below your feet and the

soaring “limbs” above your head. Continue to breathe calmly and deeply. Focus on the

cycle of energy as it enters your body from your breath, courses through your body,

travels up your outstretched arms, and finally exits from your fingertips. You are as tall

as a giant redwood tree, strong and firmly grounded, yet also supple and flexible

enough to move easily with the slightest breeze.

When your arms tire, let them fall to your sides. Enjoy the warmth of the blood

circulating back into your hands. Understand that circulation of energy is yet another

part of nature that continually and unconditionally nourishes your life.

DAY 5

Brain, Mind, and Beyond

Frequently, the terms “mind” and “brain” are

used synonymously, but it is obvious that they

do not mean the same thing. The brain is a

tangible organ, made up of nerve cells and

blood vessels; an organ that can be described

by its form and function. It can be seen and

touched.

The “mind”, however, is something different.

The mind lives outside of the limits of the

physical world. You cannot “see” a mind. A

mind is part of the transcendent world of

feeling, perception, thought, awareness,

emotion, judgment, attitude, imagination, and

belief. We can physically touch a person’s brain but not their mind. And though your

mind uses your brain’s functions, the mind is much more than just brain.

Another important part of your “self” is your consciousness. We know that we are

conscious beings, but where does this “consciousness” come from - and how does your

consciousness differ from the consciousness of other people or animals?

In the way that your mind is more than brain, your consciousness is even more than

your mind. From the second-to-second awareness of each step you take to your

deepest memories and most profound wisdom, your consciousness has an

incomprehensible number of levels that work seamlessly without any consideration that

they even exist.

It is generally agreed that we typically engage only a small portion of our potential

consciousness, leaving the lion’s share of our “mind power” unused. Meditation,

creative expression, and dream exploration are some activities that can help you tap

into some of that unused consciousness. Specifically, meditation allows you to access

your deeper consciousness in a direct and enlightened way. With practice, meditation

can increase your ability to “see things differently”, which can, among other things, help

you discover solutions in ways you could not even conceive before.

Though the definition of “mind” and “consciousness” will continue to be in contention, all

agree that an increased self-awareness and strengthened connections with your deeper

consciousness are positive steps you can take in your own life!

DAY 6

Motto for the day: “Wag on!”

Staying positive: Aspiring to be more like your dog is a good thing! It

means you want to experience life more fully; worrying less, and being more accepting.

Pepper, the best dog in the whole wide world

One of the things we love about dogs is their free spirit; they are generally happy and

worry free. They don’t understand the concept of past and present - therefore they can’t

regret (things that have already happened) nor feel anxious (about things that have yet

to come). They only live for the current moment - they are “present”!

Today’s Meditation: Dog meditation

I promise I will not ask you to get on all fours and bark! However, I want you to try to

imagine that you are more dog-like. If you have a dog, (or cat or other pet), hold them

or pet them during this exercise - it will be good for both of you!

Go again to someplace pleasant - I encourage you to find a place that a dog would like

(which is pretty easy!) A comfy couch, in front of a warm fire, a spot where the sunlight

comes through the window, a pillow on the floor… Remember to take your time - you

have nothing else to do at the moment except to connect with nature and life. Quiet

your brain and let go of any busy thoughts.

Remembering that dogs have no concept of future or past, try to be more dog-like; for a

moment, let go of every hurt or regret from the past. Do not think about anything that

has already transpired, nor anything that hasn’t happened yet - focus all of your

attention to your immediate being. As you breathe in deeply and slowly, soak in the

relaxation and security of this comfortable state of just being. Right now, all of your

needs are met. You have no unfulfilled desires or worries. Your only purpose at this

instant is just to exist - let go of any thoughts and just BE… happy.

If you have any thoughts you can’t quickly release, stand up and literally give yourself

an invigorating shake. Seriously, really shake like a wet dog while you visualize those

drops of negativity getting flung from your being, the way the water flies off a dog’s fur.

Continue to shake, until you have eliminated any traces of worry or anxiety that might

be clinging onto your spirit.

When you are fully relaxed and

filled with the warmth of

connectedness, (in total dog / cat

manner), give yourself a good, long

full-body stretch. And as you go

through the rest of your day,

remember to bark less and wag

more!

DAY 7

Okay - here’s one of my favorite sayings… “There are three things that will make

you good at anything… the first is practice. The second is practice. The third is, yep,

you guessed it, practice!”

Cozumel Sunset, photo taken over my shoulder without looking at the camera - it was meant to be!

Meditation isn’t like math or history. It’s not something that you can learn by reading

about it or memorizing facts. You have to practice meditation. ... It’s more like music.

There are people who learn to read music, are classically trained, and play traditional

instruments. People who master their art in this fashion are experts and are qualified to

train other people on their instrument. But some people (some of whom are very

famous and wealthy) pick up an instrument and just start plunking away, until they can

play along with just about any song. They learn chords, phrases, and their interaction

by happenstance not in the traditional sense. And when they have at last mastered

their instrument, they are also experts and are likewise qualified to teach others on their

instrument. The one thing that these two types of "masters" have in common is that

they spend a lot of time practicing.

To have really rewarding meditations, you need to figure out what works for you. Some

people will tell you that you can’t meditate in bed - but you might find that is the best

time for your practices. Some people insist that you have to sit on your zafu in the lotus

position to get the full experience - but many people have very meaningful meditations

never knowing what a zafu is. (It’s a type of cushion, by the way.) Some people might

say that beginners should only meditate for a few minutes at a time - but you might

really get into it and want to do fifteen - or sixty. Full stomach or empty - morning or

evening - quiet or music - breathe deeply or breathe normally - a specific “quiet place”

or anywhere you happen to be… Only you can pick what is best for YOU.

Additionally, none of us is exactly the "same person" every single day. Just like you

wouldn’t want to eat even your favorite food every single meal, you may need different

meditations to suit your mood and to fulfill your range of needs. I have tried to

assemble here practices that are varied - and tried to name them so that they are easy

to remember. But these are just some starting ideas - your springboard. With practice,

you will develop the skills to create your own meditations based on your ever-changing

needs!

Ultimately your decision to be like the classically trained virtuoso or to be more of a

play-by-ear genius isn’t what matters. What’s important is that you start practicing, and

that you keep practicing until you get really good at it. Practice whenever, wherever,

and in whatever manner makes you want to come back for more - because there are

three things that will make you really good at meditating… The first is practice...

DAY 8

Motto for the day: You deserve to be loved!

Staying Positive: Get out of your COMFORT zone.

For some people, like me, one of the biggest challenges is learning to accept positive

feedback. Being raised in a family with very high expectations, failing to live up to

someone’s standards was the norm. This led me to feel that I was undeserving; that I

couldn't be accepted and loved... which led to some (bad) relationships that reinforced

that feeling. It's not that I didn’t want to feel accepted and loved, but because feeling

that I was not good enough felt “normal; it was comfortable.

Getting out of your comfort zone can feel - well - uncomfortable. But with conscious

attitude adjustments, feeling more positive about yourself can become the NEW

NORMAL!

DAY 9

Today’s Meditation: Learning to love yourself (Jeanine’s meditation)

A couple of days ago, we started our practice by focusing on the love that we felt for

someone else. Think of that again, remembering that the love is actually being created

by you. As before, really focus on the love you have for that person. Take your time

and let that love completely wash over you for a few moments.

Breathe in and out slowly and calmly. As you breathe in, let the love you have for that

person build up within you. Hold it in for a moment. Now as you exhale, feel the loving

energy leave your body, directed toward that person. Do this several more times. Do

not rush, take as much time as you want.

Now breathe in again, filling up with love as your lungs fill with the energy of life. Hold

all that love inside you for a moment. As you exhale this time, do not send that love

away. Instead, turn it inward; direct all of that love at YOURSELF.

This part can be very difficult for some people - it certainly was for me! But remember

that making a conscious change to an improved “normal” can be very uncomfortable at

first! Think of it like beginning a new workout. You are going to be sore in places that

you may have never even known existed before - but it is a part of the process for self

improvement. If you give up now, if you never change, you can’t grow to accept and

love yourself in a healthy, normal way.

So, again, breathe in deeply, letting all of your love fill up inside of you. Now turn all of

that loving energy back into yourself. Feel the love fill you up, from the soles of your

feet to the top of your head. This is the love

you desire; this is the love you deserve.

If you are one of the people who feel

undeserving of love, if you have a difficult

time accepting yourself the way you are, if

you feel a “void” within yourself, I encourage

you to practice this meditation every day!

Learning to love yourself can be one of the

most difficult things you do in life, but it can

also be one of the most rewarding!

Battle Rock, Port Orford, Oregon

DAY 10

Meditation: good for the soul - - - and more!

Why should you meditate? For the sake of brevity, I have put together a quick list of the reasons you should consider meditation. I did not include a lot of backup - if you want to find out more about any of these topics, you can simply GOOGLE them...

It’s good for your brain:

It increases your brain’s neuroplasticity It increases grey matter It improves concentration, learning, memory, and attention It improves brain waves and heart rate It improves conscious perception

It’s good for your health:

It lowers blood pressure and benefits your cardiovascular health It reduces stress-induced inflammation It encourages a more healthy lifestyle It slows aging (by lengthening telomeres, which protect the end of your

chromosomes from deterioration) It provides pain relief It improves your immune system It helps with PMS symptoms and hot flashes

It’s good for your emotional state:

It increases happiness (by making physical changes to your brain) It enhances self-awareness It can help overcome addiction (by changing your thought habits) It reduces anxiety, depression, and fatigue It can make you happier at work (by reducing job-related stress) It promotes emotional health

It’s good for you in general:

It’s soothing It is easy to learn (but you need to practice) It improves sleep / reduces insomnia It can generate kindness (toward yourself and others)

Odell lake, Klamath County, Oregon

DAY 11

Motto for the day: “Don't carry someone else's baggage”

Staying positive: Figuring out WHY we are in a bad mood is sometimes the

biggest challenge! This morning I “woke up on the wrong side of the bed”. My brain

was agitated - it wanted to be angry. Eventually I realized that the sour mood was

prompted by a dream I had the night before which involved my ex husband - and

apparently was frustrating enough to carry into my real life this morning. Lugging

around negative feelings is heavy baggage, and it’s exhausting!

Realizing at last why I was irritated allowed me to consciously choose to let go of the

anger I was feeling (because my ex does not deserve one more moment of my time nor

one iota more of my energy!)

Oregon coast, near Gold Beach

If you are carrying around ill feelings toward another person, you are spending a

considerable amount of emotional energy on them. Instead, try to feel nothing for

them. Do not let them continue sucking the life out of you! Instead, give them no

thought; no hatred, no anger, no contempt… give them NOTHING. If the thought of a

“creepy” comes into your head, just send it away without further reflection - focus

instead on people that make you feel loved… or spend the energy focusing on your

meditations!

DAY 12

Today’s Meditation: Music Meditation

Side note: A friend of mine meditates to music - in the “spaces between the tracks”.

He visualizes the varied instruments, like color-coded rivers, that flow in their own

streams yet sometimes cross into those nearby (combining into new colors), or

pooling together before carrying on again. He seeks the infinitesimal silent spaces in

between the rivers, and that’s where he finds his solace.

For this meditation, go someplace comfy and turn on whatever music you are in the

mood to hear. It doesn't matter if it’s the mellow sounds of Sade, or the raucous heavy

metal of Five Finger Death Punch; listen to whatever saturates your senses. The point

is that you find whatever fits your needs at this exact moment - sometimes that means

listening so loud that it drowns out all of the other "noise" in your life.

Breathe evenly and calmly. Close your eyes and visualize the movement you hear in

the music. If you can pinpoint the individual rivers, like my friend, that’s great - but if you

don’t, that’s okay too! If the movement appears in your head as dancing hippos in pink

tutus, that’s perfectly fine! There is no right or wrong thing. The goal is to allow your

mind to “see” what your ears are hearing. Let the sounds completely drench your

senses - try to get “lost” in the sight, sound, and emotions of the music. Feel the energy

of the music travel from your ears through your brain and projected onto your mind's

eye. Feel the warmth of the energy you are creating fill your body as the images swirl

(or pulse or dance or flash) across your mind.

And if you are carrying around anyone else’s baggage, drop it into the musical rivers

and let the sounds carry it away - then allow your mind to soar away with the

weightlessness of your freed spirit.

Monterey Bay Aquarium, Monterey, CA

DAY 13

Motto for the day: Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks

The meditations I write are generally aimed at reducing stress, encouraging happy

thoughts, generating loving emotions, and promoting kindness and consideration for

other living beings. But that is not the point of all meditations. I encourage you to learn

more about meditation and explore different methods and practices to find what works

for you. In general, meditation practices fall into one of four categories:

Concentration Technique

Concentration meditation involves concentrated

focus on a single point, such as a sound, the breath,

some counting mechanism, or a mantra.

(Transcendental Meditation is a type of

concentration meditation.) The goal of this type of

practice is to increase concentration and your

capacity to remain calm and grounded. A state of

bliss may be reached in some advanced practices.

In this type of practice, each time you find your

“mind” wandering, you simply re-focus on the

chosen object.

Lotus flower in the duck pond, San Lorenzo Park, Santa Cruz, CA

Open Awareness Technique

The objective of these exercises it to become more

present, without a specific focus, whatever situation

arises. During these practices, you are encouraged to

be attentive to your own thoughts and feelings, as well as

those of others, and to consider the condition that

connects them. Open awareness practices are

frequently associated with visualizations of the sky, sea,

or river - where you allow all thoughts to come and go

(like clouds in the sky), but do not focus on any specific

one as they are carried away by the streams of

awareness.

Mindfulness Technique

Mindfulness meditations combine techniques from both of the other styles. You remain

attentive to a chosen point of focus, but also acknowledge sensory input, perceptions,

emotion and thought - without being pulled away by those senses and thoughts. This

type of practice helps to develop inner balance as you are aware of the full spectrum of

thoughts without attaching a label to them of being good, bad, pleasant or unpleasant.

It is a truly accepting form of meditation. This type of meditation can easily integrate

into your daily life as you are encouraged to experience other thoughts, ideas, and

sensations while practicing (such as eating, walking, driving, or other daily activities).

Santa Cruz Mountains, Santa Cruz, CA

DAY 14

Motto for the day: “It really is better to give”

Staying positive: The summer when I was ten, I remember laying on the grass

next to my best friend, looking up at the sky for a long time and imagining all sorts of

creatures in the clouds. I had no cares or worries from sunup ‘til sundown.

That was the age when I started really looking at nature and started to understand how

living creatures all have an impact on one another. I remember running barefoot,

because the feeling of the dirt below my feet was more comfortable than shoes (though

some people didn’t understand it) - and it felt great to assert my opinion on it and to

know that I didn't necessarily need their approval! It was also a time to enjoy the

freedoms of some added independence without the weight of added responsibility that

came later.

It was also at that age that I started realizing the importance of being kind - and how

easy it was! I remember learning that a hug or a kind word could really make someone

have a better day! It was the time when I learned that being kind felt more rewarding

than being selfish; when I finally understood that it really is better to give than to receive!

Odell Lake, Klamath County, Oregon (this is the top half of the picture)

Today’s Meditation: The Summer When You Were ... Ten?

Try to remember a time in your life that was emotionally great. I know that can be hard,

but try to find at least one day when you felt that growing independence, but not yet

burdened by the weight of responsibility. If the weather is nice, go outside and take a

moment to just look up at the sky and re-live those wonderful, magical happy moments

when the world was all “for your taking”. (If the weather isn’t cooperating, close your

eyes and remember what the sky was like at that time.)

Odell Lake, Klamath County, Oregon (this is the bottom half of the picture)

As you breathe in and out slowly and calmly, remember that the world you live in today,

though it may seem decidedly changed, is the same, small world. It is still there for your

taking... Let the simple thoughts of a happy ten year old’s world fill your mind. Try to

remember the enthusiasm of seeing a dragon emerging from the ever-changing clouds.

Remember what it felt like holding hands with your best friend (or your mom). Re-

experience whatever positive thoughts you have from a simpler time of your life - and let

all of the rest of the world melt away… like the dragon-clouds as they are dispersed by

the breeze.

When you “come back to reality”, make an effort to be kind to at least one person - or if

you happen to run into a friend, give them a sincere hug. Remember, hugs are like

smiles - when you give one away, you almost always get one in return. :-)

DAY 15

The Jeet Kune Do philosophy

I grew up in a family that was devoutly Christian - and in a house that was directly

across the street from a not-necessarily-wholesome drive-in theater. As such, I was

exposed to some incredibly diverse paradigms from a very young age.

One thing that arose from this unusual viewpoint was an admiration for the martial-artist

and actor, Bruce Lee. It may seem strange that a nine-year-old, Christian-raised,

aspiring gymnast was fascinated by martial arts and fighting, but in retrospect I think

exposure to that type of diversity is what brought balance to my otherwise asymmetrical

young life.

Tu Vien Kim Son Monastery, Watsonville, CA

Many years later, I learned that one of Bruce’s biggest challenges (and biggest

accomplishments) was in the creation of a completely different form of Martial Arts; one

he called Jeet Kune Do. Now, the Martial Arts have been practiced, revered, and

refined for thousands of years, so there was understandable resistance to someone (a

globally recognized someone) challenging those traditions. But Bruce understood that

real combat was spontaneous and could not be predicted. He believed that a good

Martial Artist should be able to move without the limitation of the traditional forms.

Unlike the classical forms of Martial Arts which are rigidly practiced, where stances and

strikes are patterned and restricted, Jeet Kune Do is a free-flowing, adaptable fighting

style where all possible forms of strikes are allowed and there is no restrictive pattern.

Jeet Kune Do encourage the practitioner to achieve maximum effect with minimal

movement by spontaneously selecting the best reaction, and to cast off what is useless.

Lee was quoted as saying that “the easy way is the right way”. (This is not to say that

Bruce was lazy or complacent - he was highly competitive, driven to perfection, and

practiced relentlessly.)

The point of the Bruce Lee inspired story above? I encourage you to apply the Jeet

Kune Do philosophy to your meditations. Use what works for you. Don’t be afraid to

break tradition. If it feels like something is working, keep doing that! Stay fluid; look

around for other styles and methods, but don’t be afraid to piece together your own

system. And, perhaps most importantly, as you look for your best solution, cast off what

doesn't work for your practice.

Along the Hudson River, New York

Chive flower in my garden

Day 16

Motto for the day: “All you need is love…”

Staying positive: Giving love

Continuing with the subject of love, it is important to know that an integral part of

accepting love is remembering to also give love! You can do this simply by picking your

head up, looking around, acknowledging other people, and smiling at them. (I’m not

talking about husband-wife romantic type of love, this is practicing respectful,

appreciative love for other people.) If you see someone who looks fabulous, don’t be

resentful - tell them they look fabulous! Your kindness and positivity are a gift to that

person, present them without expectation - do not expect anything back from them. If

you get a positive reaction, that’s wonderful, but the point is to be nice because it is the

right thing to do, not because there is a reward.

Once that benevolent lifestyle becomes habit, that kindheartedness will begin to

resonate within you; it will become like an endless feedback loop. (If you practice this

daily, you will find

that doing it becomes

completely natural

and effortless.)

The purpose of this

exercise is to share

the positive feelings

of love that you feel

towards other beings,

but it is also a means

to echo that positive

emotion back to

yourself. Be kind to

others, but don’t

forget to appreciate

that you are the one

initiating that thought

and that positivity!

Glass Beach, Fort Bragg, CA

DAY 17

Today’s (very short) Meditation: Balloon Head

This is a standing meditation that takes just moment and can be performed almost

anywhere.

Stand up tall with your hands at

your sides (or do this while walking).

While breathing calmly and deeply,

focus on the state of your spine.

Now imagine that your head is

lighter than air (like a helium

balloon) pulling you toward the

ceiling. Really feel yourself

straighten and grow taller as your

head pulls you up, lengthening and

decompressing all of the vertebrae

in your spine.

Let your head float higher and

higher - see how far up you can

stretch your string-neck, getting

taller and taller…

Me, Gimp'd with a balloon head

DAY 18

Mom was right, you should stand up straight!

Standing up tall (as encouraged by "balloon head") has many benefits; some you may

notice immediately...

Good posture (standing up straight):

can make you appear more confident (and slimmer!)

is as important as eating right, exercise, and getting enough rest.

reduces joint fatigue (caused by slouching).

can positively alter your brain chemistry, reducing feelings of depression and

increasing your energy.

helps keep your mind alert - by "opening up" your chest and optimizing your

breathing.

leads to better digestion (as opposed to slouching which can lead to heartburn).

can reduce frequency of poor posture headaches. (Being hunched over while

sitting at a computer or traveling causes increased pressure in your neck and

spine which can lead to headaches, aching backs, and joint pain.)

In summary, good posture can reduce stress, lift your mood, and lead

to a healthier lifestyle!

Cement ship sunrise, Capitola, CA

DAY 19

Motto for the day : "It’s all about perspective"

Staying positive: You can’t always control what happens, but you CAN

control your reaction.

I woke up late this morning. Normally I would stress about it the entire time I showered,

dressed, and even during the whole commute. But this morning, I made myself

remember that the journey I am on is the bigger picture and I took a moment to do a

tree meditation.

Arriving at work, there was no parking. Of course there wasn’t I’M LATE! So I parked

very far away and began the minutes-long walk to my building. My brain wanted to be

angry, or worried, or upset, or <insert whatever bad thoughts usually come into YOUR

brain here>...! But I forced myself to appreciate that it was a pleasant day for a walk

and started looking around for something to make me smile. It wasn’t long before I was

conscious of the yards, beautiful flowers, and architecture of the houses I was passing.

The light at the crosswalk turned green quickly and I reminded myself to appreciate that

as well. I took a moment to compliment a woman in the elevator - who gave me a

sincere smile.

I was still late, but it wasn’t the

end of the world! I got in a walk,

made someone smile, and as it

turns out, my boss was out and I

didn't get in trouble.

The point is this: Had I allowed

my brain to worry, THE END

RESULT WOULD HAVE BEEN

THE SAME, and I would have

spent the morning stressed out

instead of being calm and relaxed.

West Cliff Drive, Santa Cruz

Sandy feet near the beautiful Caribbean, Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

DAY 20

Today’s Meditation: Perfect Place Meditation

I am in a secluded cabin in Tahoe, enjoying the hot tub that is overlooking a

breathtaking, snow covered mountainous expanse below, sipping a glass of my favorite

wine as a small snow flurry passes overhead. The combination of the crisp air, hot

water, warming wine, and exhilaratingly cold snowflakes landing on my skin are all

that’s needed to keep my mind quiet without thoughts of the everyday bustle. I have

nothing else to do but soak up the experience and relax the day away.

Okay, I’m really at my desk this Wednesday afternoon, taking a mental 5-minute break,

but the scene I described is where my MIND is - if just for a few moments.

Earlier today, a coworker engaged me in a conversation about the importance of taking

vacations. But vacations don’t have to be just about going to someplace exotic for a

week. You can take a MENTAL vacation at any time - and you don’t need a ticket or

airplane! Don’t get me wrong, week-long vacations are important, but if you are feeling

stressed out, don’t wait! Picture a fabulous place you’d like to be and then go there

mentally! Just pick a relaxing activity and a beautiful place... then close your eyes, take

a deep breath, and go there. Fill the experience with lots of senses! (If you have a

difficult time starting, use the template and my suggestions below - just fill in the blanks

to create your own perfect moment to enjoy.)

The smell of the ________ (pine trees, ocean, Thai restaurant down the road, amazing rose garden, air just before it rains, brand new leather seats...)

The way the ________ feels on your ________ (sand / toes, breeze / face, campfire / shoulders, rain / face...) The sound of the ________

(waves crashing on the shore, birds chirping happily in the trees, violins rolling across the hills, breeze rustling through the palm trees...)

The beautiful scenery of ________ (those amazing redwood trees, the acres of grape vines with their colorful autumn leaves, the crystal blue Caribbean sea...)

You can go to the beach today, the mountains tomorrow, the farm back home, a park,

art gallery, jungle, snow-covered, tree-lined, sandy, sweet, decadent, mellow, cool,

warm - make it whatever YOU want. Take five minutes to go there right now. For just

a few minutes, forget what is making you stressed. Just close your eyes, quiet your

brain, breathe deep, and enjoy five minutes in YOUR PERFECT PLACE.

Odell lake, Klamath County, Oregon

DAY 21

If Happy Equals Smile, then Smile Equals Happy

Like the positive parasympathetic response of perceived relaxation you feel when you

intentionally slow and deepen your breathing, there is a similar response that happens

when you smile; you “trick” yourself into being happy. It might sound like a cheap

gimmick, but it really works. To take full advantage of this strategy, just go through your

day with a smile on your face - smile at everyone, everything, or even nothing at all!

When you're having a difficult time forcing a happy smile, look for things you find

beautiful or things that make you smile.

Sometimes the beauty you can find is huge and right in front of you, (like a giant

redwood tree or a beautiful azure sky), but sometimes you have to really look for

beauty. It is during those times that you can find amazing things in the most unusual

places - and that can make them even more spectacular! Take some time today to look

for awesome things in places you don't expect them. You might find a lovely, flowering

weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk. Just because it's labeled a "weed", that

doesn't make it less fabulous!

Maybe you will notice the sound of birds in the trees that you hadn't heard before (not

because they weren’t there but because you weren’t paying attention). Sometimes

beauty can be found in the wide-eyed amazement of an innocent child, or in the crinkly

eyed smile of someone who is older and wiser.

If you can’t find anything

externally that evokes that

happy response, think of things

that make you feel joy, comfort,

love, acceptance… happiness.

Use these tools like you would

any other; with a direct intent to

reduce stress and increase your

own positive energy.

Literally go out there

and "smell the roses"!

Roses blooming in the parking lot where I work

Ladybug over-wintering at our house, Boulder Creek, CA

DAY 22

Motto for the day : Big as the seas

Staying positive: Look for opportunities to test your skills

I have what I call "people claustrophobia". Unlike someone who suffers from traditional

claustrophobia, tight areas don't bother me; I only find it unnerving when people are in

my personal space. I try to avoid situations that might trigger my discomfort - I would

never try to get up front at a concert! ... I prefer balcony seats.

But sometimes life presents unexpected events ... like this morning when I walked over

to the nearby coffee shop on my break. That location is super busy all the time, so I

pre-order so that my drink is ready with I get there (and I don't have to worry that people

might "invade" my personal space.) Today, the coffee shop was exceptionally busy and

my order was not ready. I was okay standing amid the crowd of people for about the

first minute and a half, but then I got uncomfortable and started to step outside.

Because of the journey I have been on, I am experiencing an increased awareness of

those types of unreasonable thoughts, and am working to avoid the control they can

have over my life; to keep them from hijacking my sense of reason. Knowing that I

cannot modify my thoughts until I have developed the ability to identify and recognize

those thoughts is one of the reasons I started meditating in the first place years ago! So

instead of stepping outside, I decided to try a relaxation technique.

I managed to remain inside comfortably until my drink was ready many minutes later,

and found that I was proud of myself for a few reasons: the first being that I recognized

the apprehension before it took control of me; the second was for facing my

nervousness and staying where I was without additional apprehension; and lastly for

remembering to do one of the meditations (and keeping a smile on my face!)

DAY 23

Today’s Meditation: Big as the seas (or being bigger than you are)

This was written as a standing meditation, but it can be done sitting.

Stand with your arms at your sides. Straighten your posture, shoulders back and down,

and make sure your head is up (don't look down at the floor). Breathe calmly and

slowly. Don't hold onto thoughts that might come into your brain (especially if they are

worried or anxious in nature), just let any thoughts go. Focus on the feeling of life's

vitality as it flows through you. Concentrate on feeling how the energy fills your entire

body, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet and from the very center of

your core to the outer surface of your skin. Let the feeling of that energy really fill up

inside you, like a balloon being filled up with air. Now imagine that energy growing to a

size that's one inch bigger than you, all the way around. Feel the energy as it extends

beyond your physical body.

As you breathe in, let the energy build up inside you. As you exhale, extend your

"energy bubble" a little bit further. See if you can extend the energy six inches past the

confines of your physical being. When you can achieve that, extend it to a foot. Don't

worry if there's another person within your "energy space" - they likely won't even

notice! Continue to "embiggen" yourself with each breath (fill up on your inhale and

extend yourself on your exhale). Attempt to fill up the entire space you are in (your

cubicle, your car, your living room, the baseball diamond, the airport terminal; wherever

you are).

When you get really good at this one, try to be as big as the sea!

Monterey Bay from West Cliff Drive in Santa Cruz, CA

My first attempt at rock balancing, Whaleshead Beach, Brookings Oregon

DAY 24

Motto for the day: Meditation - it's like riding a bike...

In our busy lives, making time for meditation every single day can be hard! But you are

most likely doing some meditation without even realizing it. When you relax with a cup

of tea, paint a picture, stop and take a deep breath when you are upset, or just go

outside and "unwind", you have had a meditative experience. By applying just a little

more focus and intention, your meditations can provide even better results.

Life is full of stress and that causes mental agitation. When you successfully meditate,

your mind should be peaceful and without turmoil. If your practice gives you feelings of

warmth, heaviness, and calm, then it's working!

Even if you do a formal meditation practice every single day, you will probably never get

to a point where you can focus for an extended time without becoming distracted to

some extent. The goal of these meditations is not to achieve perfection. Instead, try to

use each session to make small improvements. Practice with the intent to more quickly

recognize when you become distracted and then re-focus promptly without chastising

yourself.

Remember, meditation is a lot like riding a

bicycle - you never forget how to do it. But if

you stop, you might forget how great it can

feel. The good thing is that it's never too late

to start practicing again!

DAY 25

Motto for the day: A little garden is better than no garden at all

Hopefully you are finding these meditations easy to incorporate into your everyday life.

These practices don't require specialized equipment or a huge investment in time. Just

a few minutes of practice a day is a step in the right direction!

Here are a few tips for incorporating short meditations into your busy schedule:

While driving - do a mindful meditation. The first priority is to stay focused on

your driving (of course). Do not "hang onto" any thoughts that come into your

head. No dwelling on thoughts of the past or future, just let those go. Believe it

or not, this can actually lead you to be a better driver as well, because you

aren't focusing on anything but driving!

When work causes you stress (and you don't have time for a walk or long break)

- do a short, focused meditation. Concentrate on your breath and standing - or

sitting - very tall. When you inhale, feel the energy of life rejuvenate your body.

On exhale, force out the stress. Repeat several times, until your stress level has

returned to normal, then continue with the task at hand.

General too-much-to-do stress - do on open awareness meditation. Go for a

short walk. Instead of thinking about the things you need to do, focus on just

being. (After all, we are called human beings, not human doings!) For a few

minutes, focus on your breath, your body's sensations, and the things around

you, not your to-do list.

Take a tea break. Focus your attention on the steps involved in making the tea,

the sound of the water filling the kettle, the way the warm cup feels between your

hands, the aroma and flavor... (Though tea is better for your health, you can do

this with coffee as well.)

When you sweep your floors, do it with intentional focus on the task. Pay

attention to the sound the broom bristles make against the floor. Notice how the

air currents from the broom affect the dust. Remember to be conscious of your

breathing and posture.

While showering, pay particular attention to the sensations of the water against

your skin, and how the warmth changes your muscles making them relax. Let

the water washing over you also wash away any stresses you may be carrying

around with you!

My husband's finger with a bunch of really tiny flowers

This photo has not been manipulated except to crop!

Remember, not everyone can have acres and acres of land in which to grow their own

crops, but having just a few plants can still provide you with the nurturing and calming

sensations that gardening brings. Neither can everyone have several hours a day

dedicated to meditative practice. However, you can still reap the benefits of meditation

by incorporating calm, peace, and mindful awareness into your daily routine.

So in the same way that a little garden is better than no garden at all, even a little bit of

meditation is better than no meditation!

Odell Lake, Klamath County, Oregon

DAY 26

The Cal bush

Like most people, I've had some great bosses, a few that were less than great, and at

least one that was downright awful... But even the worst of those couldn't compare to

Cal. I won't go into details, but will summarize by saying that his attitude made me so

frustrated that I would sometimes come home in tears.

At that time, I lived in a house

that had a lovely little tree

growing just to the left of the

front door. Upon arriving home,

I would literally go through the

actions of removing layers of

stress (as if they were layers of

clothing), and I would place

them on that poor little tree. I

called it the "Cal bush".

Most of the time, that would

suffice, but on particularly bad

days, I would stay outside and

call to my roommate to bring

me a beer - which I would drink

on the porch, trying to get rid of

the "Cal of the day".

There are two important points to this story:

The first is to emphasize that your house is your sanctuary and that you should make

every attempt possible to keep negativity and stress out of your home and away from

your family.

The second is to say: if your job has so much stress that it leads you to drink, you

should probably get a different one. There are more important things in life than money

- and one of the most precious is peace of mind!

DAY 27

Staying positive: "Don't let other people's BS rub off on you."

Today's meditation: Clean it off before it sinks in!

This isn't really a meditation, but more of a way to quickly get rid of negativity someone

spews in your direction. I have shared this with several people, when the occasion was

appropriate, and it has really worked for them!

Sometimes people will verbally unload on you regarding a negative situation that

doesn't directly involve you. If they are seeking advice, looking for a solution, or just

need a sounding board, that's okay. But sometimes they just want to get you entangled

in their bad situation - for whatever reason. Unless the problem really does directly

involve you, try to remember that you have absolutely no obligation to deal with their

negativity or their problem. Wherever you "feel" the weight of their words, quickly wipe

it off, as if it was dirt. I mean that literally. Take your hands and physically brush it off of

your clothes, shake it out of your hair, wipe it off of your skin - whatever tangible action it

takes to remove it; just get it off of you as quickly as you can! (I do NOT recommend

flinging it back into their general direction as that will usually just result in more

negativity.)

This also works if someone gets angry with you or says hurtful things. Wipe those

things off - or gather them up, wad them into a ball, and throw them out the window or

into the trash!

Of course we all know that

words and emotions aren't

physical things. In these

situations, however, treating

them as if they are tangible will

help to quickly and permanently

make a mental resolution,

freeing you from feelings of

responsibility to their situation.

By reacting in a physical way, it

helps drive the point home to

your brain!

Day 28

Looking Inward / Learning to Know Ourselves

In general, we have only been taught to examine things outwardly and have not been

trained to look within ourselves. As such, we tend to remain strangers to ourselves, not

fully aware of either how or why we think the way we do.

The unconscious mind is a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that

exist outside of our conscious awareness. Many of our actions or thoughts happen

"automatically", stemming from our unconscious, which is the part of the psyche lying

far below consciousness. In Freudian psychology, the unconscious is not easily raised

into consciousness, even though it deeply affects conscious thought.

Meditation, and examining what is within ourselves, is one method by which we can

better use our complete mind; where we learn to understand our unconscious

processes by examining them consciously. Meditation also allows us a practical means

of calming ourselves and reducing distraction and the relentless agitation that our brains

can cause.

Any type of meditation will bring you beneficial results, even though you may not

recognize them immediately. Some of the earliest signs of progress you might see may

include physical relaxation and emotional calmness. By continuing to practice, you will

see continued and more subtle results, including freedom from worry and the joy of

being present. As you meditate, it is important to realize that the seeds you sew today

may not provide you fruit right away - but with time, you will reap the benefits. It always

takes time and patience to improve; so be gentle and understanding with yourself as

you practice!

It is important to acknowledge that life accepts and supports you exactly as you are and

without demands or conditions. When you take in those meditative deep breaths, really

feel how the air is full of energy and nourishment. Take a moment to understand that

each life-giving breath is a gift, given without restriction, for you to enjoy or ignore as

you desire. You don't have to go looking for unconditional love - it is all around you, just

waiting for you to accept it. Especially during times of pain or hurt (either physical or

mental), you can find solace knowing that peace and acceptance isn’t something you

need to pursue, it already exists - you just have to open your heart and mind and allow it

into your soul.

Autumn Leaves, Katonah, New York

Day 29

Motto for the day: Be as light as the breeze

Today, I am going to focus on being as light as possible. Meditation helps me be free

from the worry of a nagging brain, but there are many other things one can do to be

more carefree, joyful and untroubled. Most of these techniques are very simple, but like

anything else, making it a habit takes practice.

#1 - Slow down to have more time

Our culture is to desire the "fullest life" we can imagine. Our society tends to push us to

cram in every activity imaginable in order to give us that "full life". However, that's really

not the point. Being so busy that we don't have time to actually enjoy activities is the

opposite of a "full life" - being that busy just leaves us stressed out, feeling

unaccomplished, and being very EMPTY. Exactly the opposite of our goal.

We all have more things available to us than we can ever accomplish in our lifetime. I

can't tell you how many times I hear people say "I don't have the time..." Being that

busy, trying to cram in everything possible into your "full" life is pointless if it is at the

cost of your happiness.

Simultaneously, I hear people saying "slow down" and "take more time". What a conflict

that is! But what they're really meaning is to slow your brain down to give your mind

more time.

I came to a realization about this as I was making my tea this morning. That task took

the same amount of time that it took one month ago (before I started re-focusing on

meditation), but today it felt better; I was calmer and it felt remarkably more relaxing.

This morning, I wasn't just rushing to get it done so I could move on to the next task; I

was really thinking about each step and not listening to any of my brain's prattle. I think

that's what people mean when they say "slow down". It wasn't that I did it any slower - it

wasn't that it took any additional time - the difference was that I was present while I was

doing it. My mind was clear, uncluttered, and without agitation. I wasn't thinking about

past or future, just about what I was doing at the moment - and the process was truly

enjoyable, not just another task in a endless stream of "must dos".

By practicing my meditations, clearing my mind, and developing a new, "slower" routine,

my life has become more peaceful, more light, more buoyant, more free.

#2 - Get rid of things (and activities) that weigh you down

No one can deny that we make time for the things that are our priority (even those

people who are always saying "I'm too busy".) But our society pushes us think that

everything is a priority. But if everything is a priority, then nothing is really a priority!

By slowing down, avoiding distraction, and clearing our minds, we have more time and

"bandwidth" to focus on what is really important. But we still need to eliminate things

that aren't crucial so that we have more time to focus on those things that are.

I used to spend a couple of hours each evening on a social media site. Until I seriously

considered its effect on me. Most evenings, I was less happy after spending time on

social media - so I quit. Instead, I sought out ways to spend that time in positive,

creative, or productive ways. But until I started to truly think about it, it was just part of

my routine. Really considering the affects your activities have on your life will help you

sort out what's just causing stress or taking up your valuable time.

The same principle applies to "things". Things do not make you happy - and more

things will not make you more happy! (If you doubt that, think of some small children

you know who prefer the box over the expensive toy that came in it.) To lighten your

physical load, focus on quality not quantity, and don't let your "stuff" weigh you down.

Some ways to ease the "pain" of getting rid of material things:

First, I remember that it's just a THING - and things don't make you happy.

Then I consider its usefulness. If it makes my life easier or performs an essential

function, I keep it. (Even if it's something that I use infrequently - like my

snorkeling gear, which is seldom used but brings me such happiness when I get

the opportunity to use it!)

Then if an item isn't necessarily "useful", I hold it in my hands and ask myself

"does this bring me joy?" If the answer is yes, it goes back where it was - and if

the answer is "no", it goes in the donation box.

The final, and really the most important, is that I donate it to a worthy cause.

(That old saying about "one man's trash..." is true! Just because an item doesn't

bring me joy, that doesn't mean that it can't bring joy to someone else.) If I have

ten jackets, I know that there are people in the world that have none - so giving a

few away turns the potentially negative action into an extremely positive one.

Remember, emotional attachments to material items isn't healthy. True, renewable, and

limitless happiness comes from within yourself, not from external sources and "things".

Disconnecting from material objects is really liberating!

#3 - Really focus on activities and people that bring you joy

Doing things mindlessly (by habit) can lead to a lot of "wasted" time. For instance, if

you're watching your Friday night TV show because that's what you do on Friday night,

consider the effect it is having. Would you actually be happier going for a walk instead?

Or calling an old friend? Or baking a cake...

Start by reflecting on the type of person you want to become, then consider what you

can do to achieve that. (Do you want to be kind, easy going, available to your friends

and family? - Or do you prefer being stressed out, "too busy", emotionally unavailable...)

Remember to be reasonable and kind to yourself - don't focus on what you have done in

the past, just think about what you want from your life and how to accomplish that.

Now make a physical list of the things that lead you to that lifestyle. That list contains all

of the things that are really important, so you can work on eliminating (or reducing)

anything else - because what's not on the list is holding you back from your ideal life.

In case you get stuck and need an example, here is my list of what kind of person I want to be and things I actions I need to attain those goals:

Thoughtful and kind: Be aware of other people's feelings and be considerate.

Helpful and generous of spirit: Be unselfish and share my talents (so long as it's not unhealthy to my own emotional state).

Easy Going: Avoid having too many expectations. Remember that things seldom go as "planned", and that my most joyous moments have come from spontaneity or when events went completely opposite of my plans.

Organized: Have a tidy space and not spend an inordinate amount of time trying to find things (that are not where they are supposed to be).

Trustworthy: Be the type of person that people confide in because I don't gossip.

Honest: Never lie, cheat, or steal (even the smallest of lies or theft compromises your honesty - don't even take supplies from work or say "no those pants don't make you look fat" if they do!)

Strong willed (but not stubborn): Be strong enough to stand up for my beliefs, but not so rigid that I can't be open to having my mind changed.

Capable: Don't rely on others to do things that I can do myself.

Healthy: Eat well, exercise, and reduce stress. Medicine is sick care, good food is health care.

Smart: Continue to learn new things every day.

Happy: Live simply, remember what is important, be quick to love and slow to anger, be forgiving, don't hold grudges, let go of negativity and hang onto things that are positive, take time to enjoy the small pleasures, truly appreciate the positive traits of myself and others.

Successful: Remember, success can't be measured by the cost of your house or car, or the amount of money you made each year. Setting attainable personal growth goals, then working toward and then attaining those goals; that's success!

Sunrise through the morning fog, Ben Lomond, CA

#4 - Secure your own mask before helping others with theirs

We've all heard the flight attendant say this. In case you don't know why they instruct

you to essentially "look out for number one" is not as selfish as you might think! It's

really logical that an incapacitated passenger can't help anybody! So if you don't put

your mask on first, chances are that you won't be able to help your kids, your spouse,

your family, and not even yourself. Taking 15 seconds to put on your own mask first

could potentially save your entire family. I'm going to repeat this because I think it's

really important to understand: if you are incapacitated, you cannot help anyone.

This is the really hard part - tough love coming in!

It's the same with mental incapacitation. If your brain and your time are completely filled

because you have allowed over-occupancy with nonessential thoughts and activities,

you are useless to everyone. If the over-full life and brain model describes you, you

have allowed your brain to hijack your life.

So here's what you can do to un-do what your brain has done to you (you may need to

get out of your comfort zone to continue):

Start by understanding that you sometimes need to "look out for number one". Put on

your own mask, take a deep breath, then you can help the others around you. It might

help reduce the sting to remember that it is ultimately the unselfish thing to do.

Next, accept yourself, including your weaknesses and limitations. (I did warn you that

this could be difficult!) Don't judge or blame yourself. Just accept that this is your

starting point. It doesn't matter how old you are, where you come from, whether you

have kids, who you've loved; nothing that happened in the past matters.

Side note: I'm not going to suggest that you accept your circumstances, because

people tend to use circumstance as an excuse to keep doing the same thing.

Your current circumstances are caused by your prior decisions. If you start

changing your decisions, you will change your circumstances!

Then appreciate that you have the desire to take control of your own life, your own

destiny, your own brain and mind.

Understand that the changes you are making are not going to happen overnight; they

may even be imperceptible at first. There will be times where you move backward and

lose ground. That's okay. It's not a race to a finish line, these are lifestyle changes -

and they take a lifetime.

#5 - Simplify your thoughts, simplify your life

Some of us have a difficult time making decisions. Maybe it's because we are

inundated by the number of options, but sometimes it's for fear of making the wrong

decision. (This is another way our brain hijacks us.) If you struggle with too many

alternatives, purposefully limit your choices. (Try applying Amazon-like filters to reduce

the number of options.)

Rather than multi-tasking (which means that you aren't fully present in any of the tasks

you are trying to accomplish), focus instead on completing one task before moving to

the next.

Reduce debt-related worry by re-thinking how you buy. Remember, our culture lends

itself to debt, yet money is one of the biggest known stresses in our society! Rather

than listening only to your brain as it chatters on about how much you want something,

use your mind to consider the usefulness, life expectancy, and also the real cost

(including the hidden price of debt-related stress.) Also, it might help to think about the

number of things you just had to have that wound up later in a donation box!

Take some time each day to disconnect. Technology, and the ability to do anything at

any time, regardless of where we are or what we are doing, can be a great thing! But it

can also overwhelm. When I was a kid, if I was playing with my friend Penny, I was fully

absorbed with the activity we were doing - because I didn't have the distraction of a cell

phone interrupting me with wonderings about what my other friends were doing. I was

perfectly happy, because I didn't even consider the things that I was "missing out on".

Today, our technology induced distractions keep our brains busy while our lives are

slipping by - and we frequently miss out on the things (and people) who are right in front

of us. You can start small - while waiting in line, don't check your phone. Instead try

engaging someone in a conversation, or just stand quietly and do a balloon head

meditation. More challenging: try turning your phone OFF for an hour (GASP!)

Peace and quiet.. It's called that for a reason. We wake up to screaming alarms, drive

to work with the radio on, work with phones ringing and the conversations of our co-

workers overriding our thoughts, and once back at home usually have the TV going in

the background. It's difficult to be tranquil when there is a bunch of noise, and there is

little actual "peace" in our lives. (When was the last time you sat in silence and just

listened to your own breath?) Add more quiet time to your life by turning off the radio

while driving (use that time for a mindful meditation), go for a walk by yourself, or take a

quiet soak in the tub. Try turning off the TV (warning, you may need to fill the space

with an actual family conversation!) Use literal peace to de-stress and clear your mind.

#5 - More ways to quiet your brain

Your brain will nag you about things because it worries that you might forget them. To

lighten your mental load, simply write down things you need to remember. (I use my

cell phone to make notes, such as shopping lists, so my brain doesn't need to remind

me one million times that we need eggs.) Here are some other great things that you

can do with technology to free your brain space (tech isn't all bad!):

To-do lists / shopping lists

Reminders for infrequent bills (car registration, tax payments, insurance, etc)

Birthday reminders (set 10 days ahead so you have time to mail a card!)

Other due dates (library books, school registration, monthly breast exam, etc)

Most phones allow for hands-free reminders to be set so that you don't need to fret

about forgetting. You can just say something like "Hey Google", make a reminder for

7:00 to tell Bob that I'm pregnant" (or any other noteworthy thing.)

A place for everything and everything in its place. A cluttered space is more difficult to

navigate and wastes time. Allocate a little time each week to stay organized. Spending

a few minutes up front can save you hours later on!

Really pick your battles. I frequently give in to disagreements, not necessarily because

the opponent is right, but because it's just not worth the cost of my time and energy to

continue. There will be occasions when you need to face a conflict head on and battle

to the end, but those are rare. Determine the cost of combat before continuing the fight.

Don't put off things that are really important. I recently had a co-worker tell me that she

was going to stop smoking, but hadn't picked a date yet. I told her that if she was really

serious about quitting smoking, then her date should be "TODAY". Putting off

something that's crucial allows your brain time to undermine its significance - because if

it really is that vital, you should want to do it with a sense of urgency. The longer you

put it off, the less important it becomes to your brain.

Stop Complaining. Negative words become negative thoughts, which become more

negative words... Unless the cycle is broken with intent, it becomes a never-ending

series of negativity. Not only is it a waste of time and energy, it also drains the people

around you. Chronic complaints can lead others to feel that you are unhelpful, or that

you are a pessimist. Instead of complaining, recognize the concern and try to find a

constructive resolution. Remember, by limiting the amount of time spent on negativity,

you increase the amount of time you have for positivity in your life!

NOTE: seeking a solution to a problem is not the same as complaining! Asking

"how can we fix this problem" is not the same as saying " I have a problem and I

just want to tell you about it."

Day 30

Motto for the day: If it feels good...

If you’ve been following along faithfully by now I would hope that you have developed

an appetite for the peaceful state of meditation. (I seriously crave it since I have

renewed my daily practice routine!) I find that I not only desire for my little mental

vacations, but I also have a hunger to improve my skills. Undoubtedly, part of that

yearning is the empowered feeling I get when my practice puts me in control of my own

emotions (as well as the reduced stress and increased peacefulness of my life now!

Tammy Fnord captured this beautiful guy on a recent day trip in Northern California

I have a more rigid and full schedule than I did years ago when I first began meditating.

In spite of that, I find that my practices are at least as meaningful and productive as

back then, even though they are generally shorter in duration.

In recalling those earliest sessions, I remembered one of the initial challenges: When

you do a meditation that focuses on connectedness, you have the opportunity to

experience the spirit and energy of everyone who has ever lived. Opening yourself to

the oneness of everything can be a bit overwhelming, but it should also feel amazing.

It is mind-boggling to know that life is supporting and accepting me, never asking for

anything in return - it is the most unconditional love.

When I finally came to terms with that and just let happen, it was unlike anything else I

had ever experienced. I hope that you experience that feeling, and that you can learn to

accept and savor it too!