By Andrew Ross

© Copyright 2011, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.

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PARANORMAL HIGH SCHOOL

By ANDREW ROSS

CAST OF CHARACTERS(In Order of Speaking)

# of lines

EMILY .......................................student; wants to be a great 80 journalist; plays Lady Macduff

LAUREN ....................................student; does morning 61announcements

JESSICA ...................................Troy’s twin sister; easily 59embarrassed by her brother

TROY ........................................new student; loves paranormal 83stuff; plays Macduff

MRS. LEAR ...............................teaches English and directs 86theater productions

STUDENTS 1-5 ..........................high school students; real 110names may be used

MISS CARLOFT ..........................president of Weird World 23Network

LOUIE .......................................reporter for Weird World 69Network

LOUISE .....................................another reporter for Weird 64World Network

BETTY ......................................witnessed a paranormal event 10at Wal-Mart

ANIMAL CONTROLOFFICER 1 ..........................takes care of business 5

ANIMAL CONTROLOFFICER 2 ..........................equipped with pet carrier 4

DR. CORDELIA ..........................gives out education awards to 13schools

PRINCIPAL WOLFF ......................principal of Bram-Stoker High 34School

MACBETH .................................student actor who plays 22Macbeth

LADY MACBETH .........................student actor who plays Lady 10Macbeth

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GHOST MACBETH ......................actor who played Macbeth in 18the 1920s (James Hackett)

GHOST LADY MACBETH .............actress who played Lady 17Macbeth in the 1920s (Clare Eames)

BANQUO ...................................student actor who plays Banquo 1WITCHES 1-3 ............................student actors who play the 8

witchesGENTLEWOMAN ........................student actor who plays Lady 4

Macbeth’s attendantDOCTOR ...................................student actor who plays Lady 3

Macbeth’s doctorYOUNG SIWARD ........................student actor who plays Young 3

Siward

SETTINGBram-Stoker High School. UPSTAGE is the classroom with student desks, a podium, bookshelves and other items. A banner reads “Welcome to Bram-Stoker High School—Home of the Fighting Tarantulas.” DOWN LEFT is the school TV studio, a desk and backdrop. A sign across the front of the desk reads “Bram-Stoker High School on the Air.” Two chairs are behind the desk.

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CHARACTERS IN EACH SCENE

ACT ONEScene One ................................Emily, LaurenScene Two ................................Jessica, Troy, Students, Mrs. Lear,

Lauren, EmilyScene Three .............................Miss Carloft, Louie, LouiseScene Four ...............................Jessica, Troy, Students, Mrs. Lear,

Lauren, EmilyScene Five ................................Louie, Louise, Betty, Animal Control

Offi cersScene Six .................................Emily, LaurenScene Seven .............................Jessica, Troy, Students, Mrs. Lear,

Lauren, EmilyScene Eight ..............................Dr. Cordelia, Principal WolffScene Nine ...............................Jessica, Troy, Students, Mrs. Lear,

Emily, LaurenScene Ten.................................Miss Carloft, Louie, LouiseScene Eleven ............................Emily, LaurenScene Twelve ............................Macbeth, Lady Macbeth, Mrs. Lear,

Students, Troy, Jessica, Ghost Macbeth, Ghost Lady Macbeth

Scene Thirteen .........................Louise, Louie, Principal Wolff, Mrs. Lear, Dr. Cordelia, Banquo, Macbeth, Troy, Jessica, Ghost Macbeth, Ghost Lady Macbeth, Students

ACT TWOScene One ................................Lauren, Emily, Animal Control

Offi cersScene Two ................................Jessica, Troy, Students, Mrs. Lear,

Three WitchesScene Three .............................Louise, Principal WolffScene Four ...............................Louie, Emily, TroyScene Five ................................Miss Carloft, Louie, LouiseScene Six .................................Mrs. Lear, Emily, Macbeth,

Gentlewoman, Doctor, Lady Macbeth, Troy, Young Siward, Students, Ghost Lady Macbeth, Ghost Macbeth, Louie, Louise, Jessica

Scene Seven .............................Entire cast

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PARANORMAL HIGH SCHOOL

ACT ONEScene One

LIGHTS UP on the TV Studio. EMILY and LAUREN ENTER RIGHT and cross DOWN LEFT to the studio. EMILY sits at the desk. LAUREN stands beside her.EMILY: Oh, boy! I fi nally get to do the newscast! I am so ready!LAUREN: When the red light comes on, you read from the teleprompter.EMILY: I know. I’ve watched newscasts before.LAUREN: You try to sound relaxed and natural.EMILY: I can’t wait! I’ve wanted to be on the air ever since I was a

freshman!LAUREN: Everyone’s a little nervous until they get used to it.EMILY: I’ve been watching Katie Couric for years. Casual, yet

professional. Reassuring. Intelligent.LAUREN: Emily, this is the morning announcements for Bram-Stoker

High School. Not the CBS Evening News.EMILY: This could be the beginning of my career.LAUREN: What career?EMILY: Broadcast journalism! First the high school announcements.

Then I’ll study communications in college. I’ll get a job at a major news network, they’ll realize my potential and one day, Katie Couric can’t make it to work. She has car trouble or maybe she ate some bad seafood. They’ll say, Emily, you step in! The next thing you know, I’ll have my own show. I’ll rise to the top of the ratings! I’ll win an Emmy! Then a Pulitzer Prize!

LAUREN: You know you’re delusional, don’t you?EMILY: Everyone has to start somewhere. When I’m receiving that

Kennedy Center Award, I’ll thank all the little people at Bram-Stoker High School.

LAUREN: (Steps away.) We’re on in fi ve, four, three, two, one… We’re live.

EMILY: Good morning, and welcome to a new school year at Bram-Stoker High School. (Suddenly nervous.) This is… uh… I’m… uh… well… uh… (FREEZES with fear.)

LAUREN: Go on, Emily! Read the teleprompter! Everybody’s watching you!

EMILY: (Trembles.) Everybody… watching?LAUREN: Go on, Emily! Read the announcements!

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EMILY: Uh… announcements?LAUREN: Class schedules. Clubs. Yearbook photos. It’s all right there

in front of you.EMILY: Uh… right in front of me are… uh… yearbook photos.LAUREN: Well, this isn’t going to work. Cut! (Crosses to EMILY and helps

her stand.) Why don’t you go work on that acceptance speech you’ll give at the Emmy Awards? I’ll read the morning announcements. (They EXIT RIGHT, with LAUREN assisting EMILY.)

End of Scene One

ACT ONEScene Two

LIGHTS SHIFT to the classroom. Desks are arranged for the fi rst day of school, each with a copy of Macbeth for the students. JESSICA and TROY ENTER LEFT carrying class supplies and cross UP CENTER to classroom.JESSICA: Okay, Troy. This is our fi rst day at a new school. Please

promise you’ll behave.TROY: I always behave.JESSICA: You know what I mean. No creepy stuff.TROY: I don’t know what you’re talking about.JESSICA: Ghosts. Spirits. All that junk you’re obsessed with.TROY: I can’t help it if I’m gifted.JESSICA: You’re not gifted, Troy. You’re creepy.TROY: You think I’m creepy because I can sense the spirit world.JESSICA: I think you’re creepy because you’re creepy.TROY: That abandoned building near our old house was overrun with

paranormal activity. I was on the verge of uncovering a mystery.JESSICA: It was overrun with rats and cockroaches. And you were

caught trespassing.TROY: It was for a good cause. Someone was murdered in that

building. Their spirit was reaching out to me. I was about to contact the producers of Paranormal Discovery.

JESSICA: You need to stop watching that “Paranormal Disappointment.”TROY: It’s Paranormal Discovery and it’s only the coolest show on the

Weird World Network.JESSICA: That is the worst channel in the world. It makes the public

access channel look like the History Channel.TROY: Jessica, I know there are spirits out there.

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JESSICA: Look, Troy. We have a new school. Please don’t embarrass me again. Keep the creepy stuff to yourself. (STUDENTS, including LAUREN and EMILY, ENTER LEFT carrying various class supplies, cross to desks, put their heads down and go to sleep. JESSICA and TROY cross to the desks and wait.)

MRS. LEAR: (ENTERS LEFT carrying a copy of Macbeth and crosses to STUDENTS.) Good morning, students. I am Mrs. Lear. In addition to teaching English, I will also be directing the fall and spring productions for the drama department. Excuse me, are any of you awake?

STUDENTS: (Sit up.) Yes, ma’am.MRS. LEAR: We have two new students, Jessica and Troy. (STUDENTS

glare at JESSICA and TROY, who smile and wave. STUDENTS put their heads back on their desks.) Students!

STUDENTS: (Sit up.) Yes, ma’am.MRS. LEAR: (To JESSICA and TROY.) I believe you two are twins, and

your family just moved to town.JESSICA/TROY: Yes, ma’am.MRS. LEAR: Welcome to Bram-Stoker High School. You may take the

empty seats near the door. (JESSICA and TROY sit at two empty desks. They look around at the other STUDENTS, who stare at them.) This semester we are going to be reading one of my favorite plays, Macbeth, by William Shakespeare.

STUDENTS: (Groan.) Why?MRS. LEAR: (Surprised.) Why? Because it’s a great play.STUDENT 1: Last year they told us Romeo and Juliet was a great play.MRS. LEAR: It is a great play.STUDENT 2: I don’t see what’s so great about it. It’s kind of like a

soap opera.STUDENT 3: And it was really hard to read.STUDENT 4: And it was depressing.STUDENT 5: Can’t we read something that makes sense?MRS. LEAR: Macbeth makes sense! It’s about blind ambition, greed,

insanity. The protagonist changes from a noble hero to a murderer.STUDENT 1: Sounds like an episode of Law and Order.MRS. LEAR: I suppose Macbeth would make a good plot for a crime

show. But in addition to murders and battles and insanity, it has something else.

STUDENTS: What?MRS. LEAR: The supernatural.

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JESSICA: Uh-oh.TROY: (Suddenly interested.) Really?MRS. LEAR: And it has “the curse.”TROY: What curse?MRS. LEAR: You’ll have to fi nd out.STUDENT 1: Do people actually produce plays by Shakespeare?STUDENT 2: They did Romeo and Juliet at my old school. It was really

funny. But I don’t think it was supposed to be.MRS. LEAR: Macbeth doesn’t receive a lot of high school productions.STUDENT 3: Why not?MRS. LEAR: Well, it’s kind of gruesome.STUDENTS: Cool.TROY: I want to hear more about the supernatural.JESSICA: Troy, not now. Please.MRS. LEAR: Then let’s begin. Act One, scene one. The moors of

Scotland. Thunder. Lightning. Rain. Three witches, known as the Weird Sisters, are stooped over a cauldron.

STUDENT 3: What’s a cauldron?STUDENT 4: It’s a fl ower.STUDENT 5: That’s a carnation. A cauldron is a big black pot that

hangs over a fi re. People cook stuff in it.MRS. LEAR: Correct. The Weird Sisters are cooking up a little magic for

Macbeth. (Reads.) “When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain? When the hurly-burly’s done. When the battle’s lost and won. That will be ere set of sun.”

STUDENT 1: What’s “hurly-burly”?MRS. LEAR: Commotion or disturbance. The three witches are

planning to meet Macbeth and cause something very disturbing to happen.

STUDENT 2: Why? What are they going to do?MRS. LEAR: They’re going to mess with his life. These witches have

familiars, or attending spirits. For the fi rst witch, it’s a cat. For the second witch, a toad. The third witch has a familiar, but we’re not told who or what it is. They circle the cauldron and say, (Reads.) “Fair is foul, and foul is fair, hover through the fog and fi lthy air.” Then they disappear.

TROY: That’s kind of cool. (STUDENTS and MRS. LEAR FREEZE.)End of Scene Two

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ACT ONEScene Three

LIGHTS SHIFT DOWNSTAGE. MISS CARLOFT, LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER RIGHT and cross DOWN CENTER. LOUIE and LOUISE stand still. MISS CARLOFT paces in front of them.MISS CARLOFT: In all my days as a television executive, this has

got to be the worst excuse for a network I’ve ever seen. And I’ve worked for some pretty bad networks.

LOUIE/LOUISE: Yes, Miss Carloft.MISS CARLOFT: Like the Fast Food Network. How many shows can

you make about people ordering burgers and fries?LOUIE: Not many, Miss Carloft.MISS CARLOFT: And the Plumbing Network. How many times will

people watch a guy crawl under a house and fi x a leaking pipe?LOUISE: Not many, Miss Carloft.MISS CARLOFT: I thought when they named me the president of

the Weird World Network, I’d at least have a channel that was interesting. But are our shows interesting?

LOUIE: Some of them may qualify as interesting… if the viewer is easily entertained.

MISS CARLOFT: Every show is the same. Paranormal Discovery, Paranormal Challenge, Paranormal World.

LOUISE: Don’t forget Paranormal Jeopardy.MISS CARLOFT: How could I? The Jeopardy! people sued us. We had

to take it off the air.LOUISE: But it was interesting.MISS CARLOFT: No, it wasn’t! It was awful! And so are the rest of our

shows!LOUIE: I don’t understand. People love paranormal stuff.MISS CARLOFT: All of the shows are the same. Someone fi nds a

haunted building or ship or cave. A crew of paranormal investigators goes in and tries to contact spirits. The show ends with them running around looking silly and saying maybe they made contact and maybe not.

LOUISE: Well, the spirit world can be a little camera shy.MISS CARLOFT: I want to see a show with real ghosts!LOUIE/LOUISE: Real ghosts?MISS CARLOFT: Yes. I want to see some real ghosts on Paranormal

Discovery, or I’m canceling the show and you two can get a job at the car wash or the convenience store! (EXITS RIGHT.)

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LOUIE: How are we supposed to fi nd real ghosts?LOUISE: I don’t know. Maybe we run an ad or have a contest or

something.LOUIE: Do ghosts read ads?LOUISE: People who encounter ghosts do.LOUIE: Well, let’s try it. I really don’t want to go back to the convenience

store. (LOUIE and LOUISE EXIT RIGHT.)End of Scene Three

ACT ONEScene Four

LIGHTS SHIFT to the classroom. STUDENTS and MRS. LEAR UNFREEZE. The STUDENTS are now more interested in Macbeth.MRS. LEAR: (Reads.) “Stay, you imperfect creatures. Tell me more.”

But the witches vanish into thin air, leaving Macbeth and Banquo to think about their predictions. Macbeth would become the thane of Cawdor, then king of Scotland, and Banquo’s sons would be kings. The witches have planted the seeds of greed and corruption that will lead to the tragic downfall of Macbeth. And that’s all the time we have for today. Read the rest of Act One.

TROY: What about the curse?MRS. LEAR: Extra credit for information about the curse. (SOUND

EFFECT: SCHOOL BELL. MRS. LEAR and STUDENTS collect their scripts and supplies and EXIT LEFT. LAUREN and EMILY cross DOWN LEFT. JESSICA and TROY move DOWN RIGHT.)

JESSICA: Way to go, Troy!TROY: What did I do?JESSICA: You were weird.TROY: How was I weird?JESSICA: You were hanging on every word Mrs. Lear read.TROY: Well, it was interesting. Especially the witches.JESSICA: Look, I want to fi t in here. I don’t want to be the girl whose

twin brother is the class weirdo.EMILY: (To LAUREN.) I’m thinking about making the morning

announcements more like a talk show.LAUREN: A talk show? All we’re supposed to do is read the

announcements.EMILY: What if I interviewed people? There must be some interesting

people around here. Students. Teachers. The lady who runs the lunchroom. You know she drives a Corvette?

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LAUREN: Emily, I don’t think you’re cut out for the morning announcements. Do you remember what happened this morning?

EMILY: A little stage fright. I’m over it now. Look! It’s those new students. I’m going to go fi nd out about them. (Crosses to JESSICA and TROY.)

LAUREN: (Calls after her.) You’re going to freak them out.EMILY: (To JESSICA and TROY.) So, what’s it like to be new?JESSICA: Excuse me?EMILY: You know. Walk into a strange place where you don’t know

anyone and have everyone stare at you?LAUREN: (Crosses to JESSICA and TROY.) What she means is, welcome

to Bram-Stoker High School.TROY: (To EMILY.) Aren’t you the girl from the morning announcements?EMILY: Yes. I’m Emily. And I want to bring a human interest angle to

the morning announcements.LAUREN: First of all, you have to act like a human instead of a

frightened deer.EMILY: How is your fi rst day at Bram-Stoker High School?JESSICA: Well. It’s okay. I guess.EMILY: Can you believe the school board chose spiders as our

mascot?TROY: I think it’s kind of cool.JESSICA: Don’t talk, Troy.EMILY: Don’t you think going to a football game and cheering for a

bunch of ugly insects is embarrassing?TROY: They’re not insects. They’re arachnids.JESSICA: That’s enough, Troy.EMILY: What’s the difference?TROY: Arachnids have segmented bodies divided into two regions.

The anterior bears four pairs of legs but no antennae. Insects are less segmented with a well-defi ned head and thorax, but only three pairs of legs, and one or two pairs of wings. Most have antennae.

EMILY: Gross!JESSICA: (To TROY.) Don’t you need to get to your next class?TROY: I think it’s cool that the school is named after Bram Stoker.LAUREN: It was named after two former principals, Mrs. Bram and

Dr. Stoker.TROY: You mean it wasn’t named after the writer?EMILY: What writer?

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TROY: Bram Stoker. The guy who wrote Dracula.JESSICA: Okay, Troy. We’re going to be late for history. (To EMILY and

LAUREN.) It was really nice talking with you, and please don’t repeat anything my brother said. (To TROY.) You just can’t keep your mouth shut, can you? (Drags TROY OFF LEFT.)

EMILY: So what do you think? Interviews on the morning announcements?

LAUREN: I think you’re crazy. But Troy is kind of interesting. (They EXIT RIGHT.)

End of Scene Four

ACT ONEScene Five

LIGHTS UP FULL. LOUIE and BETTY ENTER RIGHT and cross CENTER. LOUIE has a microphone.LOUIE: (To AUDIENCE.) Tonight on Paranormal Discovery, “Cleanup on

Aisle Four”! We are in a Wal-Mart that is believed to be a hotbed of paranormal activity. The store is closed and we are the only ones here… as far as we know. With me is store manager Betty Bunch. (To BETTY.) Miss Bunch, what can you tell us about the mysterious aisle four?

BETTY: That’s where we keep the hair care products. Something is always falling off the shelves and making a big mess on the fl oor.

LOUIE: How often do these hair care products hit the fl oor?BETTY: A couple times a week.LOUIE: Do you think there is a paranormal presence at work in the

store?BETTY: Either that, or we need to replace some of the shelves.LOUIE: Can you tell us what happened that night?BETTY: I thought I was the last one in the store. The doors were

locked. The employees had left. I was about to set the alarm when I heard all of this commotion. I was scared to death. I called the police. When they arrived, I turned on the lights and slowly we made our way to aisle four.

LOUIE: And what did you fi nd?BETTY: It was awful! Shampoo! Conditioner! Mousse! Hair spray! All

over the place! It looked like a war zone.LOUIE: It sounds like the work of a very angry spirit.BETTY: That’s what I thought. I contacted you right away.LOUIE: And we’re glad you did. You may save our jobs. (To AUDIENCE.)

Is it the spirit of an angry customer with bad hair? Did something

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terrible happen on aisle four? Something nobody knows about? We’re going to fi nd out. (LOUISE ENTERS RIGHT and crosses to LOUIE.) Louise and our team of paranormal investigators are monitoring aisle four for any signs of activity. (To LOUISE.) Where is the rest of our team of investigators?

LOUISE: Across the street at the donut shop. (SOUND EFFECT: PANS CLANGING TOGETHER. LOUISE, LOUIE and BETTY jump.)

LOUIE: Wow! Did you hear that?BETTY: Just like before!LOUIE: Oh, spirit! Let us know you’re present! (SOUND EFFECT: PANS

CLANGING TOGETHER. To LOUISE.) Quick! Go to aisle four and get some footage! This could be our big break!

LOUISE: I’m not going over there!LOUIE: Why not?LOUISE: It’s scary.LOUIE: (To AUDIENCE.) Even our trained paranormal investigator has

never felt so strong a presence! Something is happening on aisle four! Let’s take a look! (Slowly creeps toward the sounds. SOUND EFFECT: PANS CLANGING TOGETHER. He quickly runs back to CENTER.) Wow! This is tense! I can feel the paranormal activity in the air! (Calls out.) Oh, spirit! Make your presence known! Let us hear your voice!

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 1: (From OFF LEFT.) He’s heading your way!

LOUIE: Do you hear that? A voice clearly said, “He’s heading your way!” Oh, I’m going to win an Emmy for this!

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2: (From OFF LEFT.) Got him!LOUIE: Suddenly all is quiet. What does it mean? Is the visitation

over? Or is the worst yet to come? (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICERS ENTER LEFT. OFFICER 2 carries a small pet carrier.)

LOUISE: What’s that?ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 1: It’s a raccoon. He made a hole in the

ceiling right above the shampoo.ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2: We’re taking him to a location out

near the high school and letting him go. (They EXIT RIGHT.)BETTY: I wonder if that’s the same raccoon that the police found.LOUIE: The police?BETTY: The night I called you. As soon as I hung up the phone, they

caught a raccoon.LOUISE: (To BETTY.) Why didn’t you tell us it was a raccoon?BETTY: You didn’t ask.

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LOUIE: But it could be a spirit. You know. Working through the raccoon.LOUISE: Or it could be a large rodent that made a hole in the ceiling

and fell onto the shampoo shelf. (EXITS RIGHT with BETTY.)LOUIE: Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Paranormal

Discovery. Remember, if you have a paranormal encounter, contact us. It just may be the last, er… next episode of Paranormal Discovery. (Sighs.) I’m going to get a donut. (EXITS RIGHT.)

End of Scene Five

ACT ONEScene Six

LIGHTS SHIFT to the TV Studio. EMILY and LAUREN ENTER RIGHT and move DOWN LEFT to the news desk.EMILY: I’ll be okay this time. I memorized the announcements.LAUREN: And what are you going to say?EMILY: The French Club has a bake sale, the yearbook staff will

meet in the library, and this Friday our Fighting Tarantulas will be up against the Javelinas of Habanero High School. I really think interviews would make it more authentic. I could ask thought-provoking questions everyone wants to ask, like, how are things in France? How many times will I get my photo in the yearbook? Are the Javelinas going to stomp the Tarantulas like they do every year?

LAUREN: You can make it more authentic later. This morning just remember three things… French Club, yearbook staff, football game.

EMILY: It’s just too easy. I’m really up for a challenge.LAUREN: Just try to sound relaxed and natural. Got it?EMILY: Of course I’ve got it.LAUREN: (Steps away.) We’re on in fi ve, four, three, two, one… We’re

live.EMILY: Good morning, Bram-Stoker High School. (Suddenly nervous.)

This is… uh… I’m… uh… well… uh…LAUREN: Emily!EMILY: Emily. Right. Emily. And I have three announcements. The uh…

uh …LAUREN: French Club.EMILY: The French Club will meet in the library…LAUREN: They’re having a bake sale.EMILY: The library is having a bake sale…

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LAUREN: The yearbook staff is meeting in the library.EMILY: The library is having a meeting.LAUREN: The football game!EMILY: What football game?LAUREN: Say it the way you rehearsed it!EMILY: The football team is baking tarantulas in the library… uh…

and the fi ghting French Club will be up against the Habaneros of Javelina High School. And the yearbook is doing something, too. Have a nice day.

LAUREN: Cut! (EMILY quickly EXITS LEFT.) I don’t believe this. (EXITS LEFT.)

End of Scene Six

ACT ONEScene Seven

LIGHTS SHIFT to the classroom. STUDENTS ENTER LEFT carrying scripts and supplies and cross UP CENTER to their seats. They put their heads on their desks and go to sleep. JESSICA and TROY ENTER LEFT and cross to their desks. TROY is reading Macbeth.JESSICA: Please don’t say anything in class. I think I made some

friends, and I don’t want you to scare them off. Are you listening to me?

TROY: Huh? No. I’m fi nishing Macbeth. I can’t believe they let us read stuff like this in school. And the curse! I read about it online. I was so into it I forgot to watch Paranormal Discovery last night. (STUDENTS 1 and 2 sit up.)

STUDENT 1: (To STUDENT 2.) Did you watch Paranormal Discovery last night?

STUDENT 2: (To STUDENT 1.) Yeah. It really had me going for a while.TROY: What happened?STUDENT 1: Something was knocking all the hair care products off

the shelves at Wal-Mart.TROY: Did they get the ghost on fi lm?STUDENT 2: No. They got the raccoon in a cage.TROY: What?MRS. LEAR: (ENTERS LEFT.) Good morning, students. Are any of you

awake?STUDENTS: (Sit up.) Yes, ma’am.MRS. LEAR: How many of you fi nished Act One of Macbeth? (Several

STUDENTS, including TROY, raise their hands.)JESSICA: Oh, no.

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MRS. LEAR: Can you tell us what happens in Act One, Troy?TROY: Yes, ma’am. Three witches get together during a storm and

decide they’re going to meet Macbeth, who just won a big battle against Norway. He and his friend Banquo are heading home when they meet the witches. They tell Macbeth that the king of Scotland is going to make him the thane of Chowder.

MRS. LEAR: That’s thane of Cawdor.TROY: Then he’ll be the king of Scotland. They also tell Banquo that

his sons will be kings of Scotland. Then they disappear. Macbeth starts thinking about how great it would be to be the king, and the real king, Duncan, declares Macbeth a hero and names him the thane of Chowder. Duncan has named his own son, Malcolm, to be the next king. Lady Macbeth fi nds out about the witches’ predictions and decides her husband is too much of a wuss to do anything radical. She invites Duncan over for a sleepover at the castle and after dinner they all go to sleep. She makes sure Duncan’s guards have a little too much partying and she talks her husband into sneaking into the guest room and stabbing Duncan with some daggers.

MRS. LEAR: (Surprised.) Very good, Troy.TROY: There’s more. Macbeth sneaks into the guest room and stabs

Duncan, but he forgets to leave the daggers so they’ll be found next to Duncan’s body.

STUDENT 3: Couldn’t they get fi ngerprints and DNA off the weapons?TROY: This is the eleventh century. I don’t think they knew about DNA

or fi ngerprints. Anyway, they fi nd Duncan’s body and blame his guards…

MRS. LEAR: You’re in Act Two.TROY: Yes, ma’am. I read the whole play.MRS. LEAR: Excellent, Troy. But let’s stop with Act One today.JESSICA: (To TROY.) You just can’t keep quiet, can you?TROY: After I fi nished reading the play, I looked up the curse. That’s

really amazing.JESSICA: (Raises her hand.) Mrs. Lear, is it possible for a sister to

divorce her brother so they’re not related anymore? (They FREEZE.)End of Scene Seven

ACT ONEScene Eight

LIGHTS SHIFT DOWNSTAGE. PRINCIPAL WOLFF and DR. CORDELIA ENTER RIGHT and cross DOWN CENTER. PRINCIPAL WOLFF is nervous.

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DR. CORDELIA: Bram-Stoker High School is fairly new, isn’t it?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: We’ve been in existence for fi ve years.DR. CORDELIA: I have to tell you, Principal Wolff, we’re impressed.

I think you have a very good shot at the National High School Achievement Award.

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: That’s great! I’ve always wanted an award!DR. CORDELIA: The award is for the school.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Of course. I knew that.DR. CORDELIA: You have a strong faculty and your student test scores

are good.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Yes. I’m really proud of our faculty and students.

And parents. And our excellent support staff. And our parking lot is really nice, too.

DR. CORDELIA: How is your athletics department?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: We have an excellent athletics department. The

Fighting Tarantulas, our football team, are undefeated this year. Of course, we haven’t had any football games yet. And the Javelinas of Habanero High School always beat us. And so do all the other schools. But so far we’re undefeated.

DR. CORDELIA: What about the arts?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: We have an art teacher. And her students draw all

kinds of things. Flowers, bottles, faces, stick fi gures.DR. CORDELIA: I mean the performing arts. Band. Orchestra. Chorus.

Theater.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Our marching band marches around like a…

well… like a marching band. Our orchestra doesn’t march around very much. They like to stay in one place. I think marching is diffi cult for the cellos. Our chorus sings all kinds of nice songs. And our theater department, under Mrs. Lear, puts on all kinds of great shows. Comedies in the fall and musicals in the spring. They did one last year about the state of Oklahoma. I missed it because of a principal’s conference, but I understand it was outstanding. My grandparents were from Oklahoma.

DR. CORDELIA: It’s important that our National High School Achievement Award high schools be well-rounded. Math. Science. English. Athletics. The fi ne arts.

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: I believe you’ll fi nd us very round, Dr. Cordelia. I mean well rounded out. I mean… we have all that stuff.

DR. CORDELIA: I’ll be making some unannounced visits throughout the year. Good luck, Principal Wolff. Keep up the good work. (EXITS RIGHT.)

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PRINCIPAL WOLFF: A national award! I could really use a national award! (EXITS RIGHT.)

End of Scene Eight

ACT ONEScene Nine

LIGHTS SHIFT to the classroom, and the STUDENTS and MRS. LEAR UNFREEZE.MRS. LEAR: (Reads from book.) “Away, and mock the time with fairest

show. False face must hide what the false heart doth know.” And with that, Macbeth has made his decision. He will commit a terrible act of violence in order to become the king of Scotland. Did anyone fi nd any information about the curse of Macbeth? (TROY raises his hand. JESSICA pulls it down.)

JESSICA: Anyone except Troy! (Four STUDENTS slowly raise their hands.)

MRS. LEAR: Excellent. What can you tell us about it?STUDENT 1: (Stands.) There was a real Scottish king named Macbeth

who lived in the eleventh century, but Shakespeare invented the story. He wrote it for King James the First. There was also a real Banquo, and James was supposed to be one of his descendants.

STUDENT 2: What does that have to do with a curse?STUDENT 1: James was interested in witches. He considered

himself an expert on witches and even wrote a book about them. Shakespeare really wanted to impress the king. The play supposedly includes real witch’s spells. When the real witches found out what was in the play, they thought Shakespeare was making fun of them, so they put a curse on it.

STUDENT 2: That sounds kind of lame.MRS. LEAR: How does the curse work?STUDENT 1: Whenever anyone performs the play or even says the

word “Macbeth” in the theater, something terrible happens.STUDENT 2: Like what?STUDENT 1: The fi rst actor to play Lady Macbeth died before the play

opened.STUDENT 2: That’s silly… isn’t it?STUDENT 3: (Stands.) King James didn’t like the play, so it wasn’t

performed much in Shakespeare’s time. But at a performance in Amsterdam in 1672, someone slipped Macbeth a real dagger. The actor playing Duncan died onstage.

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STUDENT 4: (Stands.) In 1712, a nobleman in the audience recognized a friend and decided to get up and walk across the stage and have a conversation. The actors ran him out of the theater. He got so mad he came back and burned down the theater.

STUDENT 5: (Stands.) In 1849, there was a riot outside a theater in New York. Half the crowd liked the actor playing Macbeth, and half the crowd hated him. Twenty-three protesters were killed.

STUDENT 1: President Abraham Lincoln was supposedly reading Macbeth the day he was assassinated.

STUDENT 3: At the Royal Court Theater in London, a large set fell and injured a lot of the cast, and the costume department caught fi re.

STUDENT 4: In the 1930s, a famous actress died right before she was to go onstage as Lady Macbeth. The theater hung a portrait of her backstage. Whenever they performed Macbeth, the portrait fell off the wall.

STUDENT 5: A director named Orson Welles produced a version of Macbeth set in Haiti called Voodoo Macbeth. A critic gave it a terrible review and died under very mysterious circumstances… like someone was sticking pins in a voodoo doll.

STUDENT 1: In the 1940s, the actors playing Duncan and two of the witches died on their way to the theater. And the actress playing Lady Macbeth fell off the stage during the sleepwalking scene.

STUDENT 2: Are you making this stuff up?TROY: (Jumps to his feet.) There was an outdoor production in

Bermuda in the 1950s. Charlton Heston was playing Macbeth and somebody in the wardrobe department thought soaking his tights in kerosene would be a good way to get them clean.

STUDENT 3: They were using torches! And a gust of wind came up, and all of a sudden Macbeth was on fi re!

MRS. LEAR: Some of you have done research.STUDENT 3: There’s tons of stuff online about Macbeth. If you have

to talk about it in a theater, you call it the “Scottish Play” or the “Scottish Tragedy.”

STUDENT 4: Or “The Unmentionable,” or “The Unspeakable.”STUDENT 5: Or you just say, “that play.”STUDENT 2: Is that for real? I might have to give this Macbeth thing

a chance.TROY: Don’t you direct plays every year, Mrs. Lear?MRS. LEAR: A comedy in the fall and a musical in the spring.TROY: Have you ever thought about the “Scottish Play”?

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MRS. LEAR: Well… no. It’s probably not the best choice for our audiences.

STUDENT 1: So we can read Macbeth, but not perform it?STUDENT 3: That’s not fair.MRS. LEAR: I didn’t say you couldn’t perform it.STUDENT 4: So you’ll direct it?MRS. LEAR: But it’s very… well… dark and tragic, and… well, bloody.

I’m not sure how it would go over.STUDENT 5: It’s by Shakespeare. That makes all the violence and

blood okay.MRS. LEAR: It would be a very good way to teach the play. Would you

be interested in a production of Macbeth?STUDENTS: Yes, ma’am!MRS. LEAR: Would you audition?STUDENTS: Yes, ma’am!MRS. LEAR: Hmm. I’ve always wanted to direct a Shakespeare play.

But I always thought about a comedy. A Midsummer Night’s Dream, or Much Ado About Nothing. I never thought about Macbeth. I’ll think about it. (SOUND EFFECT: SCHOOL BELL. MRS. LEAR and STUDENTS collect their scripts and supplies and EXIT LEFT, while TROY, JESSICA, LAUREN and EMILY stay behind.)

JESSICA: (Moves DOWN CENTER with TROY.) You weirdo!TROY: What did I do?JESSICA: You made people want to be in Macbeth! Did you do some

kind of magic or spell or something?TROY: I just read the play. It’s really good, Jessica.JESSICA: Troy, you are now the offi cial school outcast! No one will

have anything to do with you after this!LAUREN: (She and EMILY cross to TROY.) Hey, Troy. I love Macbeth!JESSICA: (Shocked.) You do?LAUREN: I saw it in London last year. Just minutes before the play

was to start, the actor playing Macbeth was taken to the hospital. And the understudy, who was cast as Ross, had to step in and do Macbeth. He did the fi rst act in the Ross costume.

TROY: What was wrong with the actor who went to the hospital?LAUREN: That’s what’s weird. Nothing was wrong with him. One minute

he’s curled up in a ball acting like he’s going to die, the next he’s fi ne. He went on the next night. Are you on your way to history?

TROY: Sure. (Grins at JESSICA.) The offi cial school outcast will see you later. (EXITS LEFT with LAUREN.)

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EMILY: Your brother’s really cute.JESSICA: (Horrifi ed.) No, he’s not! (They EXIT LEFT.)

End of Scene Nine

ACT ONEScene Ten

LIGHTS SHIFT DOWN CENTER. MISS CARLOFT, LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER RIGHT and cross DOWN CENTER. MISS CARLOFT paces back and forth. LOUIE and LOUISE stand at attention.MISS CARLOFT: Do you two have any idea how absolutely horrible

that last show was?LOUIE: Which show was that, Miss Carloft?MISS CARLOFT: The “Cleanup on Aisle Four” show. I thought the

“Haunted Taco Stand” was bad. But this is without a doubt the very worst show we’ve ever aired!

LOUISE: It was going pretty well… until the end.MISS CARLOFT: Why couldn’t you have ended it before the animal

control offi cers brought out the raccoon?LOUIE: We told the editors where to end it, but I don’t think they were

listening.MISS CARLOFT: This is the Weird World Network! Not Comedy Central!

You two have one more chance to produce a decent show! And by decent, I mean something that has the supernatural in it!

LOUISE: Well, raccoons are part of nature, and that makes them natural. We just didn’t get the super part.

MISS CARLOFT: The next show had better be good, or you two are history! (EXITS RIGHT.)

LOUIE: Is there any response to our ads?LOUISE: We’ve received some advertisements for low-interest credit

cards and satellite TV. And the haunted taco stand guy wants us to come back. He thinks the spirit that haunts his restaurant was a former customer with heartburn.

LOUIE: I don’t want to go back there. That place gave me heartburn, and I didn’t eat anything.

LOUISE: There has to be someplace out there we haven’t discovered.LOUIE: If we don’t fi nd something soon, we’re going to be back at the

convenience store serving Slushies. (They EXIT RIGHT.)End of Scene Ten

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ACT ONEScene Eleven

LIGHTS SHIFT to the TV Studio. LAUREN and EMILY ENTER LEFT and cross DOWN LEFT to the news desk.EMILY: I can do it, Lauren!LAUREN: No, you can’t! You can do a lot of things, Emily. But you

cannot do the morning announcements!EMILY: (Drops to her knees.) Please, Lauren! Give me one more

chance! I promise I can do it! I’ve practiced with the teleprompter! I had my mother video me! I can do it!

LAUREN: I don’t think so, Emily.EMILY: Please! Please! I’ll do your algebra homework!LAUREN: I took algebra last year. Will you do my trig homework?EMILY: Uh… I’ll do it, but it won’t be right.LAUREN: Okay. One more chance.EMILY: (Stands.) You won’t regret it. I promise. (Crosses to the desk

and sits.)LAUREN: Look at the teleprompter. (EMILY looks out at the AUDIENCE.)

Read it.EMILY: Good morning, Bram-Stoker High School. This is your name

with the morning announcements.LAUREN: Say your name.EMILY: Your name.LAUREN: (Frustrated.) Say Emily!EMILY: Emily. Today the Math Club will meet in the lunchroom. The

Chess Club will meet in the library, and Mrs. Lear will hold auditions for Macbeth on the stage.

LAUREN: We’re on in fi ve, four, three, two, one… We’re live.EMILY: (Closes her eyes and races through the announcements.) Good

morning, Bram-Stoker High School this is my name the Math Club will meet the Chess Club on the stage with Macbeth. (Opens her eyes.) There. I told you I could do it.

LAUREN: We’re still on, Emily.EMILY: (A look of fear on her face.) We are?LAUREN: We’re on until I say “cut.”EMILY: Aren’t you going to say “cut”?LAUREN: I think I’ll just let you sit there. (EXITS LEFT.)EMILY: Wait! Don’t leave me here! (EXITS LEFT.)

End of Scene Eleven

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ACT ONEScene Twelve

LIGHTS SHIFT to DOWNSTAGE, which is now the rehearsal space. MRS. LEAR ENTERS LEFT with a chair. She sits DOWN LEFT. STUDENTS ENTER DOWN RIGHT holding scripts.MRS. LEAR: We are going to perform one of Shakespeare’s greatest

tragedies. The language may not be familiar at fi rst, but you will catch on as you learn the lines. Let’s read through Act Two, scene two. Macbeth has murdered Duncan and returns to Lady Macbeth. He’s horrifi ed by what he’s done, and he forgets to leave the daggers he used in the room so Duncan’s servants will get the blame. He can’t bring himself to return to Duncan’s room, so Lady Macbeth takes them back. (MACBETH and LADY MACBETH cross CENTER with their scripts.)

MACBETH: “I have done the deed. Did thou not hear a noise?”LADY MACBETH: “I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. Did

you not speak?”MACBETH: “Yes. Who lies in the second chamber?”LADY MACBETH: “Donalbain.”MACBETH: “This is a sorry sight.” (They stop and look around. ALL shiver.)STUDENT 1: It got cold all of a sudden.MRS. LEAR: It must be the air conditioning.STUDENT 2: It feels like a deep freezer.MRS. LEAR: Keep going.MACBETH: “There’s one did laugh in his sleep, and one cried ‘Murder!’

that they did wake each other. But they said their prayers and addressed them again to sleep.”

LADY MACBETH: Mrs. Lear, I’m freezing!MACBETH: My teeth are chattering so hard I can’t say the lines.MRS. LEAR: (To STUDENT 4.) Get the custodian. (STUDENT 4 EXITS

RIGHT.)STUDENT 5: This is really weird, Mrs. Lear.MRS. LEAR: I’m sure there’s an explanation, even though I can’t

imagine what it is.STUDENT 4: (ENTERS RIGHT.) I can’t open the door! It’s locked!

(STUDENTS gasp.)MRS. LEAR: It’s a crash door. It has to open outward.TROY: “Open locks, whoever knocks.”JESSICA: What are you talking about?TROY: It’s from Mac… uh… the “Scottish Play.” “By the pricking of my

thumbs, something wicked this way comes. Open locks, whoever

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knocks.” Knock on the door and it will open. It’s part of the curse. (MRS. LEAR and STUDENT 4 EXIT RIGHT.)

STUDENT 1: Maybe we shouldn’t be doing Mac… uh… the “Scottish Play.”

STUDENT 3: Man, this is just like Paranormal Discovery!STUDENT 5: That curse thing is real!STUDENT 2: That’s silly. Curses aren’t real. Just because we’re in a

theater and someone says “Macbeth”… (SOUND EFFECT: CRASH. The STUDENTS gasp and look around. MRS. LEAR and STUDENT 4 ENTER RIGHT.)

STUDENT 4: I knocked on the door and said, “Open locks, whoever knocks,” and it opened.

MRS. LEAR: I’m not sure it was really stuck. But it is freezing in here. We’ll rehearse again tomorrow.

STUDENT 5: Mrs. Lear, is this “Scottish Play” curse thing for real?MRS. LEAR: Of course not. There’s an explanation. (ALL except

JESSICA and TROY EXIT RIGHT.)TROY: So?JESSICA: It was the air conditioning.TROY: What about the door?JESSICA: It was stuck.TROY: Those kinds of doors don’t stick.JESSICA: There’s a logical explanation.TROY: It’s logical to me, but not to you. I’m contacting Paranormal

Discovery.JESSICA: Don’t you dare! (They EXIT RIGHT. SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER.

LIGHTS DIM. GHOST MACBETH and GHOST LADY MACBETH ENTER LEFT and cross CENTER.)

GHOST MACBETH: “I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise?”GHOST LADY MACBETH: “I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry.

Did you not speak?”GHOST MACBETH: “Yes. Who lies in the second chamber?”GHOST LADY MACBETH: “Donalbain.”GHOST MACBETH: “This is a sorry sight.”GHOST LADY MACBETH: “A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight.”GHOST MACBETH: “Methinks I heard a voice cry ‘Sleep no more!

Macbeth does murder sleep!’” (Offers GHOST LADY MACBETH his arm. They EXIT LEFT.)

End of Scene Twelve

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ACT ONEScene Thirteen

LIGHTS UP. LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER RIGHT and cross CENTER. LOUIE is reading his smartphone.LOUISE: What do we have today, Louie?LOUISE: We have a haunted gas station, a haunted Burger King, a

haunted Cadillac, a hamster possessed by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson, and a waffl e with the image of Elvis.

LOUIE: We’ve already done those shows.LOUISE: Here’s something new. A haunted high school.LOUIE: What’s the setup?LOUISE: The Bram-Stoker High School is working on a production of

Macbeth.LOUIE: Isn’t there some kind of superstition that goes with that play?LOUISE: It’s supposed to have a curse. According to a witness at

the fi rst rehearsal, the temperature suddenly dropped 50 degrees, there was a disturbing noise, and the students couldn’t open the door.

LOUIE: It’s not bad. It’s not good either.LOUISE: We’ve never done a show with a Macbeth angle.LOUIE: Do you think there’s anything to it?LOUISE: When I was in high school, the drama club was going to put on

Macbeth. The day of the performance, there was an earthquake, and the theater was destroyed.

LOUIE: Was anybody hurt?LOUISE: No. But San Andreas Fault High School was never the same.LOUIE: Okay. What have we got to lose? Let’s go fi nd Bram-Stoker

High School. (They EXIT RIGHT.)PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (ENTERS LEFT with MRS. LEAR.) I don’t think this

Macbeth play is a good idea.MRS. LEAR: Why not?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Well, for one thing it isn’t funny.MRS. LEAR: That’s true. It’s a tragedy. But the students read it in

class, and they wanted to perform it.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: I watched a movie version of Macbeth, and I found

it to be quite disturbing… at least the parts I could understand.MRS. LEAR: But the cast is so excited.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: It has violence and blood and all kinds of

unpleasant things. I really don’t think it’s appropriate material for Bram-Stoker High School.

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MRS. LEAR: But they have to read it in English. Why shouldn’t they perform it? It’s a great educational opportunity.

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: My job is to run a tight ship and to avoid controversy at all costs. Why not do a nice play like Peter Rabbit? That was always one of my favorite stories.

MRS. LEAR: These are high school students. Peter Rabbit is an elementary school story.

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: So there’s nothing for anyone to get upset about. Like people stabbing people with daggers and getting blood all over the place. (SOUND EFFECT: CELL PHONE RING.) Excuse me. That’s my phone.

MRS. LEAR: I guess it was too ambitious. (SPOTLIGHT DOWN RIGHT as DR. CORDELIA ENTERS RIGHT with a phone.)

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (On phone.) Principal Wolff.DR. CORDELIA: (On phone.) This is Dr. Cordelia. I was just looking at

your school webpage, and I noticed auditions for Macbeth.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (Nervous.) Yes. Well, we took care of that. No

need to worry. We can’t have things like that at our school.DR. CORDELIA: I’m going to make a special effort to attend. Macbeth

is one of my favorite plays. When I was in college, I played Lady Macbeth. The strangest thing happened. The actor who was to play Macbeth came down with chicken pox. Anyway, I look forward to seeing it. Keep up the good work. (Hangs up and EXITS RIGHT.)

MRS. LEAR: What shall I tell the cast?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Tell them how proud I am that they are undertaking

such an ambitious project. I look forward to seeing it. (EXITS LEFT.)MRS. LEAR: What? (To herself.) Well, that was certainly a sudden

change of heart. (STUDENTS ENTER RIGHT with scripts. To STUDENTS.) Look who’s here! I was just going to come looking for you. After the last rehearsal, I wasn’t sure you’d want to continue.

TROY: We can’t wait, Mrs. Lear.MRS. LEAR: Good. They still don’t know what was wrong with the

air conditioning, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem today. Act Three, scene one. Macbeth is now king of Scotland and he’s really bothered by the witch’s predictions about Banquo’s children becoming rulers. He invites Banquo to dinner and hires a couple of thugs to murder him and his son, Fleance. Fleance gets away. Banquo isn’t so fortunate. I need Banquo and Macbeth. (BANQUO, MACBETH and LADY MACBETH cross CENTER. STUDENTS begin fanning themselves with their scripts.)

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BANQUO: (Reads.) “As the Weird Women promised, and I fear thou played most foully for it. Yet it was said it should not stand in thy posterity.”

MACBETH: “Here comes our chief guest.”LADY MACBETH: “If he had been forgotten, it had been as a gap in

our great feast.”MACBETH: “Tonight we hold a solemn supper, sir. And I’ll request your

presence.”STUDENT 1: Mrs. Lear, it’s really warm in here.MRS. LEAR: It is warm in here. What is with the temperature?TROY: We can still rehearse. We want it to be good.STUDENT 2: Speak for yourself! I feel like I’m in a sauna!STUDENTS: Me too!TROY: We can’t leave!MRS. LEAR: Troy, I appreciate your dedication, but it feels like the

furnace is running full blast. (Starts to EXIT with STUDENTS.)TROY: You don’t understand! We’re going to be famous!STUDENT 3: (Stops, along with other STUDENTS, and turns to TROY.)

Famous? What are you talking about?JESSICA: Tell them what you did!TROY: It’s supposed to be a surprise.JESSICA: Well, if you won’t tell them, I will.MRS. LEAR: Jessica, what are you talking about?JESSICA: My brother, Mr. X-Files himself, contacted the producers of

this dumb TV show on this dumb network, and they’re supposed to send a crew to Bram-Stoker High School this afternoon to cover our production.

STUDENT 4: What TV show?TROY: Paranormal Discovery. It’s on the Weird World Network.STUDENT 5: I love that show!STUDENTS: Me too!JESSICA: You can’t be serious!MRS. LEAR: What did you tell them?TROY: I told them we were producing Macbeth and weird things were

happening in our school theater.MRS. LEAR: Oh, Troy. Why would you do that?JESSICA: Because he’s a weirdo.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (ENTERS LEFT with LOUIE and LOUISE.) Mrs. Lear,

there is a television crew here to do a story about your play. This

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is very exciting. I had no idea Macbeth would bring this much attention to our school.

STUDENT 1: Hey! It’s Louie and Louise from Paranormal Discovery!STUDENTS: Wow!LOUIE: Okay. Where are the ghosts?LOUISE: Yeah. We’re on a tight schedule.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Say, Mrs. Lear, isn’t it kind of warm in here? (ALL

FREEZE. SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM. GHOST MACBETH and GHOST LADY MACBETH ENTER RIGHT.)

GHOST MACBETH: “By the pricking of my thumbs…”GHOST LADY MACBETH: “Something wicked this way comes!”PRINCIPAL WOLFF: It’s really warm in here. (BLACKOUT.)

End of ACT ONE

ACT TWOScene One

LIGHTS UP on the TV Studio. LAUREN sits at the news desk.LAUREN: Good morning, Bram-Stoker High School. The big news of the

day is our drama department production of Macbeth. There have been some strange happenings during rehearsals. The crew from the Weird World Network show, Paranormal Discovery, is here and they’re hoping they can capture it on fi lm. At the last rehearsal, the lights went out, a curtain fell and barely missed Mrs. Lear, and a raccoon was found in the ceiling of the theater. (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICERS ENTER LEFT with the carrier.)

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 1: (Looks into the carrier.) This guy looks familiar. You don’t suppose he’s the same raccoon we picked up at Wal-Mart, do you?

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2: Could be. Where are we taking him?ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 1: I guess we’ll take him to those woods

near Wal-Mart. (They EXIT RIGHT. EMILY ENTERS LEFT and crosses to LAUREN.)

LAUREN: In other announcements, in a close and hard-fought game, our Fighting Tarantulas lost to the Javelinas of Habanero High School, 54 to zero. This Friday, they’ll take on the Gophers of Gator Grove High School. Be there to cheer our Tarantulas to victory… or at least to a defeat that isn’t so humiliating. That concludes the morning announcements. (To EMILY.) What do you want, Emily?

EMILY: I don’t want to do the morning announcements anymore.LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: I’m going to be interviewed on Paranormal Discovery.

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LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: I was cast as Lady Macduff in the play.LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: I’ve been at every rehearsal and I witnessed everything.

This will be my big chance. First, Paranormal Discovery and Lady Macduff. Then, I’ll study communications in college. I’ll get a job at network, they’ll realize my potential and one day, Katie Couric can’t make it to work. She has car trouble or maybe she ate some bad seafood. They’ll say, “Emily, you step in!” The next thing you know I’ll have my own show. I’ll rise to the top of the ratings! I’ll win an Emmy! Then a Pulitzer Prize!

LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: But that’s not all. When I’m receiving that Kennedy Center

Award, I’ll thank all the little people at Bram-Stoker High School.LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: But you won’t be one of the little people I thank. You have no

confi dence in me.LAUREN: Okay.EMILY: Can’t you say anything besides okay?LAUREN: (Stands.) Yes. (EXITS LEFT.)EMILY: Wait a minute! After I ace this interview, I’ll be ready for the

morning announcements! (EXITS LEFT.)End of Scene One

ACT TWOScene Two

LIGHTS SHIFT to the classroom. JESSICA and TROY ENTER LEFT with their scripts and supplies and cross CENTER.JESSICA: This whole thing is silly. I’m sure there are hundreds of

productions of Macbeth every year and nothing strange happens.TROY: Something must have happened here a long time ago.JESSICA: This school is only fi ve years old.TROY: Maybe something happened before there was a school here.JESSICA: Like what?TROY: We can research.JESSICA: You can research.TROY: Are you upset because you were cast as a guard instead of

Lady Macduff?JESSICA: Of course not! Well… maybe a little bit. Emily really isn’t

ready for the stage. (STUDENTS ENTER LEFT with their scripts and supplies and cross to their desks.)

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STUDENT 1: I read about a production that just opened on Broadway. The critics hated it and it closed after thirteen performances. Get it? Thirteen? Unlucky number?

STUDENT 3: I read about a production in Toronto where Macbeth sliced open Macduff’s hand.

STUDENT 2: I read about a production in Los Angeles that went through six stage managers, three directors, two set designers, fi ve Macduffs and twenty-six cases of fl u.

STUDENT 4: I thought you didn’t believe in this stuff.STUDENT 2: I don’t. But it’s interesting.STUDENT 4: You just want to be on Paranormal Discovery.STUDENT 2: So? You do, too.STUDENT 5: We all do. That’s why we’re risking our lives on this

production.TROY: What was here before this school?STUDENT 1: A vacant lot.TROY: Was it always a vacant lot?STUDENT 2: As long as I can remember.JESSICA: (Sarcastic.) No institution for the criminally insane or funeral

home or anything like that?STUDENT 3: No. The funeral home is on Oak Street.STUDENT 4: And the institute for the criminally insane is near your

house.JESSICA: (Alarmed.) What?MRS. LEAR: (ENTERS LEFT.) Good morning, students. I see you’re all

awake. How many of you have read Act Four? (ALL raise their hands.)STUDENT 1: It’s the best part so far.WITCH 1: (Crosses CENTER.) It opens with the witches performing

their witch business out on the moors. “Round and round the cauldron go. In the poisoned entrails throw…”

WITCH 2: (Crosses CENTER.) “Fillet of a fenny snake in the cauldron boil and bake…”

WITCH 3: (Crosses CENTER.) “Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, witch’s mummy, maw and gulf…”

JESSICA: That’s disgusting!WITCH 3: It gets a lot worse.WITCHES: “Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron

bubble.” (MACBETH crosses to WITCHES.)MACBETH: “How now, you secret, black and midnight hags? What is

it you do?”

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WITCH 1: Macbeth asks us questions, and we conjure up three apparitions. The fi rst one is a human head that warns him against Macduff. “Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! Beware Macduff! Beware the thane of Fife! Dismiss me! Enough!”

WITCH 2: The second apparition is a newborn child. “Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! Be bloody, bold and resolute. The power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth!”

WITCH 3: The third apparition is an older child holding a branch of a tree. “Macbeth shall never vanquished be until Great Birnam Wood to high Dunsinane Hill shall come against him.”

STUDENT 3: This makes Macbeth very happy. He can deal with Macduff the same way he dealt with Duncan and Banquo. No one who was born of a woman can hurt him. Everybody is born of a woman, so no problem there. And how is a forest going to move? Trees don’t have feet.

STUDENT 4: But Macbeth sees a fourth apparition, a line of eight kings of Scotland, and Banquo is the last in line.

MACBETH: “Horrible sight! Now, I see, ’tis true. For the blood-boltered Banquo smiles upon me!”

STUDENT 5: Macbeth decided he needs to kill Macduff. The witches disappear and Macbeth’s friend Lennox shows up and says he did not see the witches, even though they were right there in front of him. (WITCHES return to their seats.)

MACBETH: Where’d they go? You guys saw the witches, didn’t you?STUDENTS: Nope.STUDENT 1: Macbeth learns that Macduff has fl ed to England, which

is inconvenient. So Macbeth murders Macduff’s family.EMILY: (Crosses CENTER.) I know this part. I’m Lady Macduff. I

have this great scene with Ross. He tells me to be patient, and I get all upset, kind of like Lady Macbeth. I would have made an outstanding Lady Macbeth, but I’ll settle for Lady Macduff. It’s a start. After Lady Macduff I’ll study communications in college. I’ll get a job at network, they’ll realize my potential and one day, Katie Couric can’t make it to work—

MRS. LEAR: Emily, could you do the Lady Macduff lines?EMILY: Sure. I’m all upset because my husband ran off to England

and left me and the children and the housework, and Macbeth is sending some guys to kill us. (Takes a couple of deep breaths, then poses dramatically.) “To leave his wife, to leave his babes, his mansion and his titles in a place…” uh… well… (Nervous.) I don’t think he should have done that. It… uh… wasn’t very nice. (FREEZES.)

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STUDENT 1: Are you ever going to learn the scene?JESSICA: It was more than she got yesterday.STUDENT 2: Anyway, Macbeth’s henchmen kill Lady Macduff and Ross

joins Macduff and Duncan’s son, Malcolm, in England. They decide they have to take out Macbeth, and the English army offers to help.

MRS. LEAR: So Shakespeare is setting up for a major confrontation in Act Five. Macbeth has gone from a noble warrior to a villain. Why do you think this happens?

STUDENT 3: Because the witches made him do it.MRS. LEAR: Did the witches make him? Or were they tools that allowed

the evil that was in Macbeth to emerge? And if it can happen to Macbeth, can it happen to anyone? Could the possibility of power and wealth change us into monsters? All you have to do is one evil act.

STUDENT 4: But it was more than one evil act.STUDENT 5: Macbeth was out of control.MRS. LEAR: Exactly. That’s what Shakespeare is trying to show us.

Killing Duncan was only the beginning of Macbeth’s descent into madness. And it affected not only him. It affected two entire nations. It caused a war. (SOUND EFFECT: SCHOOL BELL.) Someone help Emily to her next class. (EXITS LEFT with STUDENTS, ALL taking their scripts and supplies. Two STUDENTS assist EMILY.)

End of Scene Two

ACT TWOScene Three

LOUISE and PRINCIPAL WOLFF ENTER RIGHT and cross CENTER. LOUISE carries a microphone as if recording a TV episode.LOUISE: (To AUDIENCE.) With me today is Principal Wolff of Bram-

Stoker High School. (To PRINCIPAL WOLFF.) What can you tell us about the paranormal experiences at your school?

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (Baffl ed.) Paranormal?LOUISE: Cold air. Hot air. Curtains falling. Doors that won’t open.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: The air conditioning was stuck. Then, the heat

was stuck. I don’t know why the curtains fell, but we have a very good safety record here. And our academics are excellent. Fine arts. Math. Science. Foreign languages. Our football team almost scored a touchdown at our last game.

LOUISE: What about the drama class production of Macbeth?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Well, it wasn’t my fi rst choice. The story has all

kinds of treachery and murders and people losing their minds…

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and sometimes their entire heads. Not to mention witches. But we did The Wizard of Oz and no one complained about the witches. Besides, if Shakespeare wrote it, it’s okay. People are impressed that we’re performing Macbeth. Important people. People who give out awards.

LOUISE: Are you aware of the history of Macbeth productions?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: I just know that everyone is looking forward to

this production. Our school is up for an award, you know. When will this show be broadcast? I want to make sure Dr. Cordelia knows about it.

LOUISE: Probably next week.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Now, are you with PBS or the History Channel?LOUISE: Uh… neither one.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Oh. Is this for CNN? (Excited.) Or Dateline NBC?

60 Minutes?LOUISE: That’s another negative.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: What show is this?LOUISE: Paranormal Discovery.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Well, the Discovery Channel is good. All kinds of

educational shows.LOUISE: That’s true. (Aside.) It’s too bad this isn’t one of them.PRINCIPAL WOLFF: I’d better go make sure the fl oors are polished

and the cafeteria is serving the cheese enchiladas! They are excellent! (Quickly EXITS RIGHT.)

LOUISE: Maybe we should go with a comedy show. We have all the material we need right here. (EXITS RIGHT.)

End of Scene Three

ACT TWOScene Four

LOUIE, TROY and EMILY ENTER LEFT and cross CENTER. LOUIE carries a microphone.LOUIE: Here’s how it’s going to go. I’m going to ask you about the

paranormal stuff your cast has experienced during rehearsals. You know, the cold, the heat, the stuff falling.

EMILY: You know, I would make a very good interviewer. Maybe after I fi nish college I can get a job with your network and do the interviews. One day, one of your reporters can’t make it to work. They’ll say, “Emily, you step in!” The next thing you know I’ll have my own show. I’ll rise to the top of the ratings! I’ll win an Emmy! Then a Pulitzer Prize!

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LOUIE: (To TROY.) What’s wrong with her? Is it something they serve in the school cafeteria? (TROY shrugs his shoulders.)

EMILY: Do you make a lot of money?LOUIE: (Sarcastic.) Oh, yeah. I just work at the car wash and the

convenience store for fun.EMILY: (To TROY.) Let me do the talking.TROY: I’m the one who contacted the Weird World Network!EMILY: But my career is at stake.TROY: What career?LOUIE: Okay. We’re rolling. (To AUDIENCE.) With me today are two

of the actors from the Bram-Stoker High School production of Macbeth, Emily and Troy. (To EMILY and TROY.) What roles do you two have in the production?

TROY: I’m Macduff.EMILY: And I’m… (Nervous.) uh… I’m… well… what was the question?

(FREEZES.)TROY: She’s Lady Macduff.LOUIE: Tell us about some of the paranormal events your cast has

experienced.TROY: Extreme cold and heat. A curtain fell. Strange noises. That

could have been the raccoon. Chairs move. Lights fl icker. Lady Macbeth felt someone shove her, but no one was there. Malcolm left his script on the prop table on stage right. After his scene, his script was gone. Another actor found it on the prop table on stage left. No one had crossed the stage.

LOUIE: What does your teacher think?TROY: She says it can all be explained.LOUIE: I understand you have a rehearsal this evening.TROY: We’re practicing the end of Act Four, where Lady Macduff gets

killed, and Act Five. Macduff gets to kill Macbeth.LOUIE: Our Paranormal Discovery crew will be there to see for ourselves

on… “The Curse of Macbeth.”TROY: Are you going to use all of those heat-sensing devices you use

on TV?LOUIE: We’ll use everything we’ve got. I just wish I knew what we’re

looking for. (To AUDIENCE.) Is it something that happened here? Is it all of the curses of Macbeth rolled into one?

TROY: Our paranormal stuff has been pretty mild. Some of those people in history really got hurt.

LOUIE: We’ll do our best to fi nd out the answers… and we’ll make up the rest. Cut. (Indicating EMILY.) Is she all right?

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TROY: Every time she’s on stage or in front of a camera, she kind of goes into a trance. That might be another Paranormal Discovery show.

LOUIE: Maybe so. Thanks for the interview. (EXITS RIGHT .)TROY: Emily?EMILY: What?TROY: The interview is over.EMILY: Oh. Okay. I think that went fairly well. How did I look?TROY: Oh. You looked great. (They EXIT LEFT.)

End of Scene Four

ACT TWOScene Five

SPOTLIGHT DOWN LEFT as MISS CARLOFT ENTERS LEFT talking on her phone. Another SPOTLIGHT on LOUIE and LOUISE as they ENTER RIGHT. LOUISE is talking on her phone.MISS CARLOFT: You’ve had a whole week, and the best you can come

up with is a haunted high school and “The Curse of Macbeth”?LOUISE: There’s a story here.LOUIE: Tell her about the paranormal stuff.LOUISE: Extreme temperature variations. Strange noises. Things

falling. Doors that won’t open. All the signs of a haunting.MISS CARLOFT: This doesn’t involve a raccoon, does it?LOUISE: Uh… not exactly.LOUIE: I wouldn’t mention the raccoon they found in the auditorium.LOUISE: We have interviews, and we’re going to get some great

footage.MISS CARLOFT: Do you have a ghost? That’s all I care about.LOUISE: (To LOUIE.) She wants to know if we have a ghost.LOUIE: We’ll get the ghost footage tonight.LOUISE: (On phone.) They’re having a rehearsal tonight. After dark. We

should encounter the ghost then.MISS CARLOFT: I want to see a ghost! A real live… or whatever…

ghost! I don’t care if you have to invent one! Get the footage or get another job! (EXITS LEFT.)

LOUIE: What did she say?LOUISE: (Hangs up her phone.) She thinks we’ll do fi ne. (They EXIT

RIGHT.)End of Scene Five

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ACT TWOScene Six

MRS. LEAR and the STUDENTS, with the exception of JESSICA, ENTER LEFT with their scripts. STUDENTS cross RIGHT. MRS. LEAR crosses CENTER and addresses them.MRS. LEAR: Let’s see if we can do a little better with Act Four, scene

two. Lady Macduff. (EMILY crosses CENTER.) A messenger has told you that murderers are on the way to kill your husband.

EMILY: How does it start?MRS. LEAR: “Whither should I fl y?”EMILY: (Dramatic pose.) “Whither should I fl y? I have done no harm.”

Uh… uh… well…STUDENT 1: Not again! (SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM.

GHOST LADY MACBETH ENTERS RIGHT and crosses to EMILY. ACTORS FREEZE. [NOTE: The GHOSTS are not visible to the CAST.])

GHOST LADY MACBETH: (With drama.) “Whither should I fl y? I have done no harm. But I remember now I am in this earthly world, where to do harm is often laudable…”

EMILY: (Panicked. Hears, but does not see, GHOST LADY MACBETH.) What?

GHOST LADY MACBETH: Say the lines like you mean them, or I’m going to boil you in oil!

EMILY: (Meek.) “I have done no harm…”GHOST LADY MACBETH: (Shouts.) You are about to come face to face

with men who are going to murder you! You are blind with panic! There is no place to hide! (Shoves EMILY, who looks around in panic to see what happened.)

EMILY: What was that? Did you say something, Mrs. Lear?MRS. LEAR: Say your lines, Emily.GHOST LADY MACBETH: (Threatening.) Say your lines like you’re

about to be murdered!EMILY: (With drama.) “But I remember now I am in this earthly

world, where to do harm is often laudable, to do good sometime accounted dangerous folly!”

GHOST LADY MACBETH: Keep going!EMILY: “Why then, alas, do I put up that womanly defense to say I

have done no harm?”GHOST LADY MACBETH: (To AUDIENCE.) I’ve seen worse. (EXITS

RIGHT. LIGHTS UP.)MRS. LEAR: Emily, that was… amazing.

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STUDENT 2: Yeah. It was almost good.EMILY: (Almost in tears.) Someone was yelling at me.MRS. LEAR: No one yelled at you, Emily.STUDENT 3: Even though they should.EMILY: You didn’t hear someone yell?ALL: No.EMILY: Mrs. Lear, I’m scared.MRS. LEAR: Then stay scared. It’s the best you’ve done so far. (To

STUDENTS.) On to Act Five, which has some of the greatest scenes Shakespeare wrote. Lady Macbeth’s sleepwalking. Macbeth’s famous soliloquy. Birnam Wood moving toward the castle. And the fi nal battle with Macduff. Let’s begin with scene one. Lady Macbeth, the Doctor and the Gentlewoman. (DOCTOR and GENTLEWOMAN cross CENTER. LADY MACBETH crosses LEFT and walks as if in a trance.)

GENTLEWOMAN: “Lo, here she comes. Observe her, stand close.”DOCTOR: “Her eyes are open but their senses are shut.”LADY MACBETH: (Stops and rubs her hands.) “Here’s a spot! Out, out

I say! Who would have thought the old man had so much blood in him? The thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now?” (LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER LEFT. LOUIE holds up a smart phone. LOUISE carries a tablet computer.)

LOUIE: Don’t mind us. We’re just getting atmospheric continuance stabilization readings.

LOUISE: Continuance is 140 over 65.LOUIE: What about transverse retrograde?LOUISE: Transverse retrograde is 791. Code green.LOUIE: We defi nitely have some activity.STUDENTS: (Excited.) Cool!STUDENT 1: Is that what you used in the “Haunted Bonus Room”

episode?LOUIE: This is the upgrade. We fi rst used it in the “Demon Guinea Pig”

episode. I downloaded it to my iPhone, and I’m ready to go.LOUISE: I’m getting thermal readings from the psychic network.STUDENT 4: The psychic network?LOUISE: Yes. It says I’m going to meet a tall, handsome stranger and

inherit a large sum of money.LOUIE: Don’t get any ideas, boys and girls. This software should only

be used by trained professionals.STUDENT 5: Aw, man! I want one!

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MRS. LEAR: I’m trying to have a rehearsal.LOUISE: We’ll be quiet. (Stares at her screen. She yells, startling

STUDENTS and MRS. LEAR.) Wow!OTHERS: What?LOUISE: I just got a baby goat on Farmville!LOUIE: We’re just going to walk around and take some readings. You

can get back to your rehearsal. (EXITS LEFT with LOUISE.)MRS. LEAR: (Steps back.) Keep going.LADY MACBETH: “Here’s the smell of the blood still. All the perfumes

of Arabia will not sweeten these hands.” (SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM. ALL FREEZE.)

GHOST LADY MACBETH: (ENTERS RIGHT.) You can do better than that. Lady Macbeth is obsessed with Duncan’s blood. She sees it everywhere. She forced her husband to commit a terrible crime, which led to more terrible crimes. Now she’s insane. Soon she will die. (With drama.) “Here’s the smell of the blood still! All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten these hands!” (Shakes LADY MACBETH.)

LADY MACBETH: (Afraid, looks around.) Is somebody there?GHOST LADY MACBETH: Say the lines! Say them like you’ve completely

lost your mind.LADY MACBETH: (Meek.) What?GHOST LADY MACBETH: Do what I say or I’ll stuff you in the witches’

cauldron with the poisoned entrails!LADY MACBETH: (With drama.) “Here’s the smell of the blood still! All

the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten these hands! Here’s a spot! Out, out I say! Who would have thought the old man had so much blood in him? The thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now?”

GHOST LADY MACBETH: That’s better. (EXITS RIGHT. LIGHTS UP.)GENTLEWOMAN: “She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of

that.”DOCTOR: “You have known what you should not.”GENTLEWOMAN: “Heaven knows what she has known.”DOCTOR: “This disease is beyond my practice. Yet I have known those

which have walked in their sleep, who have died in their beds.”GENTLEWOMAN: “Good night, good doctor.”LADY MACBETH: Did someone say something about stuffi ng me in

the cauldron with the poisoned entrails?ALL: No. (LADY MACBETH, DOCTOR and GENTLEWOMAN return to the

group of STUDENTS.)

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MRS. LEAR: Excellent. Macbeth receives reports that the English and Scottish forces are massing against him. But he takes comfort in the words of the witches. He will not be defeated until Birnam Wood moves to the castle, and he cannot be harmed by a man who was born of a woman.

LOUISE: (From OFF LEFT.) I’ve got something! (ENTERS LEFT with her tablet computer, runs in front of the ACTORS and EXITS LEFT. From OFF LEFT.) I lost it!

MRS. LEAR: (Frustrated.) Oh, good grief! Macbeth fi nds out Lady Macbeth is dead.

MACBETH: (Crosses CENTER.) “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.”

LOUIE: (From OFF LEFT.) There’s some activity in the light booth. (ENTERS LEFT and holds his smart phone toward the back of the theater.) There’s defi nitely something there.

MRS. LEAR: Of course, there’s something there! It’s the student who’s running the lights!

LOUISE: (ENTERS LEFT.) I’ve got a reading. Something’s very close. (EXITS LEFT with LOUIE.)

MRS. LEAR: Start over.MACBETH: “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this

petty pace from day to day…”LOUIE: (ENTERS LEFT with LOUISE. They read their instruments.) I think

we have a possession.LOUISE: Looks like it. (SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM.

STUDENTS begin to panic and shiver.)MRS. LEAR: Now, students. Let’s stay calm.STUDENT 1: It’s getting cold again!TROY: This is great! Our production is haunted and Paranormal

Discovery is here to record it!LOUIE: This is getting kind of creepy.LOUISE: Like the “Possessed Volkswagen”… only scarier.LOUIE: Maybe we should be running along.LOUISE: The car wash and convenience store aren’t such bad places

to work. (They start to leave.)TROY: Where are you going?LOUIE: Any place but here.STUDENT 4: (STUDENTS scream.) Something’s out there! (SOUND

EFFECT: FOOTSTEPS.)

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LOUIE/LOUISE: (Try to use STUDENTS as shields.) Help! Save me! Don’t let it get me! (Etc.)

MRS. LEAR: There’s nothing out there! (Beat. Silence. SOUND EFFECT: FOOTSTEPS.) Or maybe there is. (Except for MRS. LEAR, they ALL panic. LOUIE and LOUISE run OFF LEFT.)

JESSICA: (ENTERS RIGHT and crosses CENTER. She carries a fi ling folder of papers. LIGHTS UP.) Uh… hello?

MRS. LEAR: Jessica? You’re late.JESSICA: I was… well… doing some research.MRS. LEAR: What kind of research?JESSICA: Research on this town. More specifi cally, this location in this

town. I went to the courthouse, looked up this property and then started tracing back in time. For over 50 years, this was a vacant lot, but there used to be a movie theater here. The Stratford. I went to the library and looked through local newspapers. The Stratford burned down in 1952. Here’s a photo after the fi re. (Hands a paper to MRS. LEAR.) Look at the marquee. You can still read it.

MRS. LEAR: “Macbeth, starring Orson Welles.” (STUDENTS gasp.)JESSICA: I asked the librarian about it. She said her grandmother

remembered the Stratford in the 1920s. It was a regular theater. Not movies, but plays, vaudeville shows and concerts. I went online and typed in our town, the Stratford and Macbeth. Here’s what I found. This is from the local newspaper in 1926. (Hands MRS. LEAR another paper.)

MRS. LEAR: (Reads.) “Macbeth to open at the Stratford. The national tour of Shakespeare’s great tragedy will feature Broadway actors James Hackett and Clare Eames.” I’ve never heard of them.

JESSICA: (Hands MRS. LEAR another paper.) They were pretty famous back then. They performed Macbeth on Broadway, and were taking it on the road. This is also from 1926.

MRS. LEAR: (Reads.) “Star of stage and fi lm, James Hackett, dies in New York.” (JESSICA hands MRS. LEAR another paper.) “Broadway leading lady, Clare Eames, is dead following emergency surgery.”

JESSICA: The props, costumes and sets had been shipped to the Stratford. But the actors never made it. They never got to perform Macbeth here.

TROY: And you think their spirits are here now! That’s brilliant, Jessica!JESSICA: It is?TROY: I thought you didn’t believe in paranormal stuff.JESSICA: I don’t… entirely.TROY: Maybe we can contact them.

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MRS. LEAR: Contact them later. I want to get through Act Five. (To MACBETH.) This is actually going well, in spite of the interruptions. Start with “tomorrow and tomorrow.” (Steps back. JESSICA takes her place with the STUDENTS.)

MACBETH: (Meek.) “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day…” (SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM. ALL FREEZE.)

GHOST MACBETH: (From OFF RIGHT.) NO! (ENTERS RIGHT and crosses to MACBETH.) You sound like a whiny toddler. (In mocking, high-pitched whine.) “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace…” and I’m so scared. Macbeth has lost his queen, the love of his life, the woman who pushed him to commit murder. He killed King Duncan, he killed his friend Banquo, he killed Lady Macduff and her son. He sees apparitions. He is losing his sanity. He is emotionally destitute. (Pauses, takes a deep breath. With drama.) “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.” Don’t just stand there! Join in!

GHOST MACBETH/MACBETH: “Out, out brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow…” (GHOST MACBETH steps back.)

MACBETH: (With drama.) “A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!”

STUDENTS: Wow!MRS. LEAR: Very good. The soldiers led by Malcolm go into Birnam

Wood, where they cut branches of the trees to use as camoufl age. So Birnam Wood appears to be moving toward Macbeth’s castle. Now Macbeth meets Young Siward on the battlefi eld, still convinced he cannot be harmed. (YOUNG SIWARD crosses CENTER, brandishing sword.)

MACBETH: (Draws sword.) “I must fi ght the course. What’s he that was not born of woman? Such a one am I to fear, or none.”

GHOST MACBETH: (Steps forward.) You are the mighty warrior! You are invincible! You are not a poor sap feeling sorry for himself! You are the king of Scotland!

MACBETH: (With drama.) “Such a one am I to fear, or none!”YOUNG SIWARD: “What is thy name?”MACBETH: (With drama.) “My name is Macbeth.”YOUNG SIWARD: “The devil himself could not pronounce a title more

hateful to mine ear.”

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GHOST MACBETH: You sound like you’re talking to your best friend! (With drama.) “The devil himself could not pronounce a title more hateful to mine ear!” Say it!

YOUNG SIWARD: (With drama.) “The devil himself could not pronounce a title more hateful to mine ear!”

GHOST MACBETH: Not bad. Not good, but not bad. Well? Don’t just stand there. Fight! (MACBETH and YOUNG SIWARD fi ght with plastic swords. MACBETH “stabs” YOUNG SIWARD, who falls to the fl oor.)

MACBETH: “Thou wast born of woman. But swords I smile at, weapons laugh to scorn, brandished by man that’s of a woman born.”

MRS. LEAR: Good. Now, at last Macduff fi nds Macbeth. (TROY crosses CENTER, brandishing sword. GHOST LADY MACBETH ENTERS RIGHT and stands by GHOST MACBETH.)

MACBETH: “Of all men else I have avoided thee. But get thee back. My soul is too much charged with blood of thine already.”

GHOST MACBETH: Don’t sound wimpy!TROY: (As Macduff.) “My voice is in my sword, thou bloodier villain

than terms can give thee out.”GHOST LADY MACBETH: (To TROY.) This man has destroyed your

family! He has ruined your country! He’s a tyrant! You are blind with rage!

MACBETH: “Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests. I bear a charmed life, which must not yield to one of woman born!”

TROY: “Despair thy charm, and let the angel whom thou still hast served tell thee Macduff was from his mother untimely ripped.” (To AUDIENCE.) That means Macduff’s mother had a caesarean section, which in the Middle Ages was probably a very dangerous procedure. To people in the Middle Ages, children born by caesarean were not technically “born” of a woman.

GHOST MACBETH: You’re not going to explain that to the audience, are you? (TROY looks around, unsure if he actually heard the GHOST MACBETH’S voice.)

TROY: Uh… Don’t you think they need to know?GHOST MACBETH: No, I don’t. Keep going.MACBETH: “Accursed be the tongue that tells me so! I will not yield

to kiss the ground before young Malcolm’s feet and to be baited with the rabble’s curse!” (They fi ght with swords. TROY, as Macduff, “stabs” MACBETH, who falls to the ground.)

GHOST MACBETH: Now cut off his head.TROY: Really? (Looks at his plastic sword.)

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GHOST MACBETH: Not out here! Drag him offstage. (TROY drags MACBETH OFF RIGHT. MACBETH screams.)

TROY: (ENTERS RIGHT with a wolfman mask.) “Behold where stands the usurper’s cursed head. Hail Malcolm, King of Scotland!”

GHOST LADY MACBETH: This production needs a lot of work!GHOST MACBETH: But they can be trained. We can do it. We can

do Macbeth! (LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER LEFT and search around the stage with their instruments. LOUIE has a microphone and is wearing a headset.)

LOUISE: I’m picking up negative ion molecules.LOUIE: I’m hearing some cosmic disturbance. It’s coming from over

here. (Crosses to GHOST MACBETH and holds out the microphone.)GHOST MACBETH: (Leans over and yells in the mic.) BOO!LOUIE: (Jumps back and rips off the headset.) Wow! That was loud!

(BLACKOUT.)End of Scene Six

ACT TWOScene Seven

LIGHTS UP on the TV Studio. LAUREN sits as the news desk.LAUREN: Good morning, Bram-Stoker High School. Due to popular

demand, the drama club production of Macbeth has been extended for another week. Many people are seeing it for a second and third time.

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (ENTERS RIGHT with DR. CORDELIA and crosses CENTER. Upset.) Really, Dr. Cordelia. I had no idea the play would have so much killing and beheading and things like that! I apologize!

DR. CORDELIA: I’ve seen many student Shakespeare productions, and this is by far the best. Did the actors receive professional coaching?

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Really? Well… yes. Of course. About that award…DR. CORDELIA: It’s still under consideration. Has your football team

ever actually scored in a game?PRINCIPAL WOLFF: Not yet. But we’re working on it. (FREEZE.)MISS CARLOFT: (SPOTLIGHT DOWN LEFT as she ENTERS LEFT talking

on her phone. SPOTLIGHT DOWN RIGHT as LOUIE and LOUISE ENTER RIGHT. LOUISE talks on her phone.) That show wasn’t half bad. It wasn’t half good either.

LOUIE: (To LOUISE.) What did she think of the show?LOUISE: She loved it.

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MISS CARLOFT: It was like those students were possessed by the ghosts of those two actors. Of course, we never saw any ghosts.

LOUISE: (To LOUIE.) She loved the ghosts.MISS CARLOFT: What was with that girl Emily you interviewed? She

had total stage fright.LOUISE: (To LOUIE.) She liked the interviews.MISS CARLOFT: You two saved your jobs for another week. What’s

next?LOUISE: (To LOUIE.) She can’t wait for our next show.LOUIE: What are we going to do?LOUISE: How about the haunted Starbucks?LOUISE: The one where all the mochas mysteriously turn into lattés?LOUIE: It doesn’t have quite the impact as a haunted production of

Macbeth, does it?LOUISE: At least we can get a good latté. (They FREEZE.)LAUREN: After our school was featured on Paranormal Discovery,

stores are reporting an increase in the sales of movies based on Macbeth. The drama class has requested that the school name the auditorium the Clare Eames and James Hackett Theater. (STUDENTS and MRS. LEAR ENTER LEFT.)

STUDENT 1: What’s our next show, Mrs. Lear?STUDENT 2: Can we do Hamlet?STUDENT 3: Or Othello?STUDENT 4: How about Julius Caesar? I hear it’s a lot of fun.STUDENT 5: How about Much Ado About Nothing? I don’t know what

it’s about, but I really like the title. (SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. LIGHTS DIM.)

GHOST MACBETH: (ENTERS RIGHT with GHOST LADY MACBETH.) Hamlet? Othello? Julius Caesar? They barely made it through the “Scottish Play”! What should we do, Miss Eames?

GHOST LADY MACBETH: I suppose we’ll have to stick around and make sure they do it right, Mr. Hackett. After all, they named their theater in our memory. (They FREEZE. LIGHTS UP.)

LAUREN: Principal Wolff announced that our school received some kind of national award. He wasn’t sure what it was for, but he’s very happy about it. (DR. CORDELIA crosses to PRINCIPAL WOLFF, hands him a small trophy and shakes his hand.)

PRINCIPAL WOLFF: (Tearful.) I accept this award on behalf of all the students and teachers who make Bram-Stoker the best high school in the world.

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EMILY: (ENTERS LEFT, crosses to LAUREN and sits next to her.) Hey, Lauren. Did you see me on Paranormal Discovery?

LAUREN: I did. You looked like you were scared to death.EMILY: I was.LAUREN: But you were fantastic as Lady Macduff. You really looked like

you were frightened for your life. You knew Macbeth’s henchmen were coming for you and there was nothing you could do. It was like you were possessed by the spirit of Lady Macduff.

EMILY: I was. Can I help with the announcements?LAUREN: After your amazing performance, I believe you’re fi nally

ready. Just read the teleprompter.EMILY: Let me just say what an honor it is to be reading the morning

announcements. I plan to remember all of you after I fi ll in for Katie Couric and go on to win my Emmy and Pulitzer Prize. I can’t decide if I want to do a regular news show like 60 Minutes or dedicate my time to writing thought-provoking commentary.

LAUREN: Just read the teleprompter, Emily!EMILY: Okay. In other news the… (Panics.) …uh… well… uh… aren’t

those words kind of small?LAUREN: (To EMILY.) Never mind. (To AUDIENCE.) In other news, our

Fighting Tarantulas lost to the Mighty Muskrats of Moon River High School by a score of 36 to zero. Way to go, Spiders! You’re getting better! Or at least you’re getting less worse! Finally, members of the basketball team have reported paranormal behavior in the gym. After bringing in experts the source of the paranormal activity has been determined. (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICERS ENTER RIGHT with the pet carrier.)

ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 1: To the woods near Wal-Mart?ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2: Yep. This little fellow really gets

around, doesn’t he?LAUREN: Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our morning

announcements. Have a great day.END OF PLAY

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PRODUCTION NOTES

PROPERTIES ONSTAGETV Studio: Two chairs, desk, TV studio backdrop, sign that reads

“Bram-Stoker High School on the Air”Classroom: School desks each with a copy of Macbeth, podium,

bookshelf, banner that reads “Welcome to Bram-Stoker High School—Home of the Fighting Tarantulas”

PROPERTIES BROUGHT ON

ACT ONEScene Two:

Class supplies (TROY, JESSICA, STUDENTS)Copy of Macbeth (MRS. LEAR)

Scene Five:Microphone (LOUIE)Pet carrier (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2)

Scene Seven:Macbeth scripts, class supplies (ALL STUDENTS)

Scene Twelve:Chair (MRS. LEAR)Macbeth scripts (ALL STUDENTS)

Scene Thirteen:Smart phone (LOUIE)Cell phone (PRINCIPAL WOLFF, DR. CORDELIA)Macbeth scripts (BANQUO, MACBETH, LADY MACBETH, STUDENTS)

ACT TWOScene One:

Pet carrier (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER 2)Scene Two:

Macbeth scripts, class supplies (ALL STUDENTS)Copy of Macbeth (MRS. LEAR)

Scene Three:Microphone (LOUISE)

Scene Four:Microphone (LOUIE)

Scene Five:Cell phone (MISS CARLOFT, LOUISE)

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Scene Six:Macbeth script (MRS. LEAR, ALL STUDENTS)Smart phone (LOUIE)Tablet computer (LOUISE)File folder full of papers (JESSICA)Plastic sword (MACBETH, YOUNG SIWARD, TROY)Wolfman mask (TROY)Microphone, headset (LOUIE)

Scene Seven:Cell phone (MISS CARLOFT, LOUISE)Small trophy (DR. CORDELIA)Pet carrier (ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER)

SOUND EFFECTSSchool bell, pans clanging together, a crash (possibly a stack of books hitting the fl oor, metal garbage can lids clanging together, or various percussion instruments such as a ratchet, cymbal or gong), thunder, cell phone ring, footsteps.

COSTUMESCostumes may be everyday dress for STUDENTS. GHOSTS may wear Renaissance costumes or black pants and shirts.

FLEXIBLE CASTINGMany of the roles may be male or female. STUDENTS may double as the student actors who perform Macbeth. BETTY may double as a student. Some or all of the student actors performing Macbeth also participate in the classroom scenes.

SPECIAL NOTESThe STUDENTS do not actually see the GHOST ACTORS.Several simple effects are written in the play, such as thunder and dimming lights. These are optional.

Set changes are not required. Scene changes are suggested by exits, entrances and changes in lighting and should transition quickly. Lighting changes may be used, as indicated, to show the break in scene, but are not required. If you have access to a curtain, some scenes may work better performed in front of the curtain.

There are several cultural references throughout the play that can be altered or updated to fi t other times and settings. The play as written refers to CBS News anchor Katie Couric and the CBS Evening News; the Wal-Mart discount store chain; the television crime show,

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Law And Order; the Burger King fast-food chain; Cadillac automobiles; Elvis Presley; the TV news shows, 60 Minutes and Dateline NBC; the game show Jeopardy! and the supernatural show The X-Files. CBS, CNN, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Comedy Central and PBS television networks. There are also mentions of an Apple iPhone, The Psychic Network and a Facebook game called Farmville. These references may quickly become dated so they can be updated with current references.

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