BULLYINGANDWORDCIRCLESANAPPROACHFROMTHEPERSPECTIVEOF

PROCESSWORK

MireiaPareraPuigdomènechMay2018

Iwanttodedicatethisprojecttoeveryonewholoveseducationandwhodedicatesthemselvestoitwithbodyandsoul,

andtoallchildren.Alsotomyinnerchild,whoisstillachildandhasalsogrown.

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Cartaaunamismaalos15años

AdrianaBertran1

Ahoraquetedoblolaedad,ytriplicoelamorhaciatimisma,

quemehesentadoatomartétantastardes

conlosmismosmonstruosqueatiteparalizan,teescribo,

yconfío,porqueaunsoyasídecrédula,quemispalabrasllegaránaesepasado,

hacequinceaños,amisquinceaños,quearañaránladesesperaciónquetraelaadolescencia,laurgenciaantiguadecomprenderlotodo,

yesatenaznecesidaddeaprobaciónquelosañoshanfelizmentedirigido

haciaunospocosjuecesmuchomenosseveros

quetuscompañerosdecuartodelaESO.Conjugarás“deber”comoelauxiliardetodoslosverbos,

y“estar”seconfundirácon“ser”.Creesquequieneslegislanlasintaxisdetuvida

teconocen,yvivirásenelhiato

entreloquetedicenseryloqueeres,poramor

aunatribuquenoteprotegeporquenoteve.

Envidiarásalagentenormal,quepertenece,

yporesohevenidoachivartequelanormalidadserásiempreunhoteldesábanasrígidas,

yquetucasa,Adriana,haestadosiemprefueradelimpolutohoteldondelosnormalesseacuestan

yselevantan,seacuestan

1IheardthispoemwhileIwasinthedraftingoftheprojectanditconnectedmetomywork,tomyhistoryandtomanyothers.That'swhyIstarthere,withapoemthatbringsusclosertotheworldofemotionsandstories. https://adrianabertran.wordpress.com/ Here it is read by the authorwith subtitles in Englishhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=9YFgcPwjTDs

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yselevantan,yenmediocharlandefútbol(no,alostreintaaunnoentiendo

quéleven),ytúaúnnosabeshacer

esecopy-pastedesusconversacionesdeaire,hinchadas

comobalones;peroaprenderemos,así,comoseaprendeacruzar

lacalleenverdecuandonopasancoches.

Teníaquecontartequefueradesuhotelnohayunfosodedragonesyostracismo;

queeraverdadesode“losniñossontancrueles”;queeldeberdeserigualesnoimpide

quecrezcamosdiferentes;quesomostantas,ytantos

viviendoenunatribudecasasfueradeesehotelderígidas

eimplacablessábanas;quenohabíaqueescogerserfiel

oalosdemásoaunamisma;queelidiomaquehablamosloentienden

tantosytantas…

Teprometo,Adriana,unimperiodeverdadserenayclara.

Losdedosqueteacusan,lasvocesqueteinsultan,Losecosquelasoledadrebota,asfixiada,

sonuntúneldemasiadolargo,noeldestino.Porqueaúnnohemosllegado.

Nosseparancincomilcuatrocientossetentaycincodías

yteheamadoencadaunocasitanto

comoséquetodaslasAdrianasdelfuturonosestánamando.

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AcknowledgementsIwanttostartmythanksnamingtheteamofFila l'agulla.Manyyearsago, Ihadtheopportunitytomeetthemandwestartedworkingtogetheronaprojectwithteenagersin aSecondary School andour relationshiphas continued since then. Fil a l'agulla andespeciallytheeducationteam,hasinspiredmanyofthereflectionsthatIshare.TogetherwehavecreatedthiswayofworkingthatIdescribe.Thisprojectistheproductofyearsofworktogether,exploring,inventingandtestingwaystointerveneintheclassroomtoworkondiscrimination.ThankstoNoemíCanelleswhohashelpedmewiththestructureof the project and, especially, Sara Carro, with whom I began to facilitate the groupdynamicsintheschools,thethreeofushavemadeagreatteamintheprojectofSchoolM.2ThanksalsotoLídiaCasanovas-sharingthisyearinotherprojectsanddoingWordCirclestogetherhashelpedmealot.Thanks tomy teachers, Gill Emslie, Andy Smith, Evelyn Figueroa, Boris Sopko, StanyaStudentovaandLilyVassilou,fortheirpersonalandprofessionalsupport,forhelpingmeto lovemyselfmore and to believemore inmywork. You helpme a lot to continuelearning.Adeepthankyou.

Tomyfellowstudentsofstudies,especiallythosewithwhomattimesduringthesepastyears I have shared thepeergroup:AnnaPujol,AnnaEspadalè,ConchiPiñeiro,CesarFernándezandNuriaDanès.

ThankstoDawnMenkenandIngridRose,theirworkintheeducationalworldhashelpedmealotforthedevelopmentofthisproject.

Thanks to JulieDiamondforallher research in the fieldofpower,asubject that Iampassionateaboutandhasbeenanimportantseedtounderstandmorethedynamicsofbullying.ToJoeGoodbreadwhohashelpedmetounderstandconflictmoredeeply,throughhisbook.Andespecially toArnoldMindell for the impulseanddevelopmentofsuchanexcitingframeworkastheProcessWork,whichhashelpedmetoknowmyself,relationshipsandtheworld,inimpressiveandunexpecteddimensions.

Thankyou!

2Iwantedtopreservetheconfidentialityoftheschool,sofromnowontheprojectiscitedasschoolM.

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Index:

1. Introduction1.1. Filal'agullaandtheworkinggroupintheeducationsystem1.2. Whoistheworkaimedat?1.3. ProcessWork1.4. Goalsoftheproject

2. BullyingexplainedthroughProcessWork:theoreticalframework2.1. Whatisbullying?2.2. DidIsufferbullyingornot?Thethreelevelsofreality2.3. No,there'snobullyinghere:conflictingwiththeconflict2.4. There'snobullyinghere,but….2.5. Thesystemicperspective:therolesinthebullyingsystem2.6. Theroleoftheaggressor2.7. Theroleofthevictim2.8. Theroleofthewitness2.9. Otherrolesandtherelationshipsbetweenthem2.10. Powerandrankdynamics2.11. Theintrapsychicperspective:beliefsystemsandcritics2.12. Violence2.13. Multilevelintervention:intra-personal,relationalandsystemic2.14. Otherkeyelementsinintervention

3. WordCircles:theapproachtobullyinginschools

3.1. Originofthecircles3.2. Therestorativeapproach3.3. TheWordCircles

3.3.1. Theintention3.3.2. Howdoesitwork3.3.3. Principles3.3.4. Theroleoffacilitation

3.4. Wordcirclesandbullying3.4.1. ThegroupanditsprocessintheWordCircle

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3.4.2. TheWordCircleasatooltoidentifythedynamicsofdiscrimination,violenceandbullying

3.4.3. Therelationshipwiththe3levelsofreality3.4.4. Kidsalsocry:theexpressionofemotions3.4.5. TheexpressionofemotionsintheWordCircle3.4.6. Theroleshiftoftheteacherandtheadult3.4.7. Multilevelintervention3.4.8. Workingwiththeroleoftheaggressor3.4.9. Workingonempathyandtheroleofthewitness3.4.10. Workingwiththeroleofthevictim3.4.11. Roles,powerdynamicsandroleshift3.4.12. RelationshipwiththeGroupProcessmethodology3.4.13. FromthesolutiontothetemporalresolutionintheWordCircles.The

restorativeapproach3.4.14. ClosingtheWordCirclesandthecontinuationoftheprocess

4. Theexperienceatschool“M”

4.1. Theprojectatschool“M”4.2. Developmentandevaluationoftheproject

5. Finalconclusions

6. Bibliography

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1. Introduction

Somethingthathasmarkedmy life ismyownprocessofschooling. Idon'thavegoodmemoriesofmytimeinschool.WasitbecauseIwasashygirlwhohadtroublemakingfriends, or because my own classmates and schoolmates harassed me?Whateveritwas,andlaterI'llgointoitinmoredetail,thisdefinesmeandhasbeenoneofthemostimportantdrivingforcesofdevelopmentofmylife.Infact,everytimeIgotoaschooltoworkonrelationshipsinclass,Ilivetheprocesswiththem,andIconnectagainwithmydream,withthedesirethatallpeoplebeseenandrecognizedforwhotheyareandeveryonecanfindtheirplace.

M.Garaigordobil(2010)definesbullyingas"aspecificformofcontinualschoolviolencebetweenpeers, inwhichoneormoreaggressorswithgreaterpowerand intention tocausepainhavesubjectedaweakerschoolmatetoviolence".Idon'trememberpeoplewhoassuchexercisedsystematicviolencetowardsme,butIrememberjokesthatothersdidtomeandIdidn'tlaugh.IdonotknowifIwasweak,whatIdoknowisthatthereweretimeswhenIwasnotok.Ididn'ttalkmuchwiththeotherstotellthemwhatwasgoingonwithmeandIcriedalot.Isthisbeingweak?NowwhenIrememberitIalsocry,andwhathurtsmethemostandIfinditmoredifficultistoacceptisthatthishappenedtome.Howtoacceptwhathappenedandlovethatgirlwhocriedandwhodidthebestshe could at thatmoment, and also to love those kidswhoplayed and,without fullyrealizingit,hurtotherpeople.AndIsaythis,notbecauseIbelievethatthisiswhatshouldhappen,butbecausethisiswhathelpsmenow.

Iwasnotfullyawarethatdoingthisworkwasalsoaboutme.AndIrealizethatIcannotdoitanyotherway.Itismyownexperiencethathasmademelearnalotinthisfieldandthathas ledmetowork inschoolsformorethan10yearsandit isalsofrommyownexperiencethatIcanunderstandthistopicinmoredepth.That'swhysomeexamplesarebased on my own personal experience and others on my professional experience.For this reason, for the personal and professional connection, this project focuses onknowingmoreaboutthedynamicsofbullyingintheschoolenvironment,aswellasthepreventionandinterventioninthesecases.

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1.1.Filal'agullaandteamworkingintheeducationalworld

In2006,Ibegantodoregularworkshopsinschoolsandinstitutesworkingineducationforpeaceandin2010,lookingforsomeonetocollaboratewithinaprojectwithyoungpeoplecalled"Learningtorelatetooneanotherandrelatingtoeachotherwelearn".3InasecondaryschoolinBarcelona,ImetFilal'agulla.Thiswastheseedforarelationshipthatstillcontinues.

Filal'agullaisaworkingcooperative,whichfocusesonfacilitationinthefieldofpersonal,relational and group development in the educational, organizational and communityworld.Itwasbornin2009,inBarcelona,anditcontinuesgrowing,nowin2018having9membersand7collaborators.

TheworkofFilal'agullainthefieldofbullyinghasbeenprogressive.Thestartingpointwas coeducation and, over time, the focus has been extended to other areas ofdiscrimination, from racism to discrimination for health reasons, different learningrhythms,abilities,etc.Ithasalsocomefromspecificinterventionswithstudents,tomorecomprehensive projects that work with the entire educational community, includingteachers,families,andotherschoolprofessionalssuchasfreetimeeducators.Since2016therehasbeenastableteamthatmeetsperiodically togiveshapetotheprojectandnourishitfromtheexperiencesweareacquiringintheapplicationofourwork.ThisoneisformedbyNoemíCanelles,JoanaBou,LídiaCasanovas,SaraCarroandmyself.

Thiswork isnourishedbytheresultofall theworkthatwehavebeendoingtogetherduringtheyears,forthisIamdeeplygratefultomycolleaguesforthistrajectoryandtheircontributions.Andatthesametime,Iamveryhappy,becausethisprojectmeansagreatcontributiontoFilal'agulla.

1.2.Whoistheworkaimedat?

TheexamplesofthisworkarebasedinCatalonia,Spain.Althoughtherealityofbullyingis international and can happen all over the world, I have based my professionalexperience in the province of Barcelona and the cultural context of this territory.

3Thisprojectconsistedofseveralworkshopswithgroupsofyoungpeoplebetween12and14yearsold,inwhichweworkedontherelationshipbetweenthemandtheirtutorsbasedondynamicsandgames.

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ThisworkisaimedatpeoplefromtheextensiveProcessWorkcommunityorpeoplewithmotivationtolearnmoreaboutProcessWork,aswellasprofessionalsandpeoplefromthe formal and informal educational world interested in the subject of bullying anddiscriminationinabroadsense.

Ihavetriedtousealanguagethatisunderstandabletoallaudiences.

1.3.ProcessWork

IdiscoveredProcessWorkthroughaworkshoponfacilitationwithJoséLuisEscorihuelain2006,and in2011 I started theDiploma inProcessOrientedPsychologyorProcessWork.AtthattimeIfelttheneedtodelveintoworkingwithgroupsandinfacilitation,and I found in the ProcessWork the opportunity to learn a framework and away ofworkingthatmetmyneeds.

SomethingIampassionateaboutisthatitisaframeworkofworkandatthesametimeamethodologythatcanbeappliedinmanyfields,frompersonalpsychology,toworldworkandinternationalconflictsandthatitsmultidisciplinarynatureallowsittoestablishlinks with many and varied disciplines, from physics, systemic thinking, Taoism andShamanism,todifferentstrainsofpsychology,amongothers.

Itsobjectiveisawareness,anditisfromtherethatatransformationcantakeplace.Partof theprinciple is thatwecanget somethingusefuloutof all experiences, and ithasateleological approachwhich seeks to find the reason behind those experiences thatchallengeusorthataredifficult.

ArnoldMindell,physicistandJungiananalyst,developedthisdisciplineinthe70's.Sincethen it has been a discipline in constant development in which many people haveparticipated to expand the theoretical and practical knowledge of Process Workthroughouttheworld.

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1.4.Goalsoftheproject

Thegoalofthisproject isto learnmoredeeplyaboutthedynamicsofbullyingfromamultidimensionalperspectivebasedonProcessOrientedPsychology.ProcessWorkhashelpedmetoputonotherglasseswithwhichtoseeandobservewhatIexperiencedandwhatInowseeinschools,andthishelpsmetore-evaluatemyexperience,learnfromitandbe able to accompanyother children in their ownexperiences. Thanks deeply toArnoldMindellandallhiscolleaguesandmyteachers.

Itrustthatthisworkcanhelpotherstounderstandmoredeeplythedynamicsofbullyingandfacilitatetheinterventionfromthisperspective.

Asecondpurposeoftheworkistopresentamethodology:WordCircles.Foryears,wehave been working with the Fil a l'agulla education team in primary and secondaryschools, implementing thismethod towork on bullying on a personal, relational andgrouplevel.

This school year 2017-2018 our proposal has been to evaluate a project in a schoolconsistingofseveralinterventionsinclassandteachertraining,withtheintentionthattheyappropriatethetoolsandtheframeworktoimplementit.So,thethirdpartoftheproject includes the presentation and evaluation of that experience in school, “M” inBarcelona.

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2. BullyingexplainedthroughProcessWork:theoreticalframework

2.1.WhatisBullying?

M.Garaigordobildefinesbullyingasaspecificformofcontinualschoolviolencebetweenpeers,inwhichoneormoreaggressorswithgreaterpowerandintentiontocausepainhavesubjectedaweakerschoolmatetoviolence.Themainfeaturesare4:

● The placewhere it occurs: it is related to the school environment. In PrimaryEducation5(from6to12years)themostriskyspaceistheplayground,whileinSecondarySchool(12yearsupward)theriskplacesarediversified,increasingtheabuseratesinthecorridorsandclassrooms.Inrecentyears,violentbehaviorhasalsoincreasedthroughsocialnetworks,whichcanhappenoutsideofschoolhoursandschoolcenter.Itiswhatiscalledcyberbullying.

● Prolongedintime:studiestalkaboutbullyingwhenthebehaviorisrepeatedmorethan once aweek and in the samemonth. Therefore, it is systematic and notpunctual behavior. This affects the impact on the person, since the pain issustainedovertimeandthere is the implicit threat inthevictimtoremainthetarget.

● Amongequals: behavior thatoccursbetweenstudents thatarepeersandtheyhave the same role within the hierarchy of the educational system. It usuallyhappensbetweenpeopleofthesameclass.

● Withadifferenceofpowerbetweentheonewhoisassaultedandtheonewhosuffers: theonewhoassaultshasmorestrengthofaphysical,psychologicalorsocialnatureandthepossibilitiesofdefenseofthevictimarereduced.Thisfactor

4TheinformationcomesfromthebookofM.Garaigordobil"Violencebetweenequals",basedonstudiesindifferentcountries.Thedatareflectscommontrendsinthedifferentcasesinvestigated.5TheeducationsysteminSpain:

- Pre-school:between0and6years,ofanon-mandatorynature.- Primaryeducation:between6and12yearsold.Mandatoryandconsistsofsixcourses.- Compulsorysecondaryeducation(knownasESOinSpain):consistsoffourcourses,withanage

rangeofapproximately12and16years.- Post-compulsory secondary education and higher education: in which there are several

independentoptions.Itisnotmandatory.

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iskeytodifferentiateitfromacaseofconflictbetweenequals,wherebothpartieshavethecapacitytomanagethesituationandhavesufficientsupportfromthegroup.

● Thegroupasawitness:thepresenceofathirdpartyiskeyinthisdynamic.Thegroup allows the dynamic to continue if it does nothing to stop it. The groupcreatesthedifference inpower,reinforcingadynamicbetweenthecenterandthemargin,whatismoreorlessvaluedandalsosupportsthistypeofbehavior,addingtotheaggressionattimesandothertimesallowingitthroughinactionandpassivity.

● Theforms:typesofviolentbehaviorthatoccur.

• Physical:againstthebody,suchashitting,pushing,etc.and/oragainstproperty,suchastheft,breakingormessingobjects,etc.

• Verbal: behaviors such as insults, nicknames, speaking ill of someone,teasing…

• Social:behaviorsinwhichoneisolatesandexcludessomeone,suchasnotlettingthemparticipateingames.

• Psychological: are those behaviors that affect self-esteem and createinsecurity and fear. Bearing in mind that all other types also havepsychologicalcomponents.

Only 10%of themost typical bullying is physical. Themost common is verbal.Gender6differencesarealsoobserved,withthemostcommonbehaviorinboysbeing verbal aggression and direct physical aggression, and in girls, indirectaggression,suchasspeakingbadlyofothersorexcludingthem.

Theagesinwhichthereismoreprevalenceandmorecasesidentifiedarein6thgrade(11-12years)and1ºESO(12-13years).Therearenodifferencesaccordingtothetypeofschoolorsocialclass.Ifgenderdifferencesareobserved,peopleidentifiedsociallyasboyshavegreaterparticipationasaggressorsandasvictims.

ThelatestSurveyonSchoolCoexistenceandSafetyinCatalonia(ECESC,2011-2012),donewith secondary school students, shows that almost 15% of students are involved in

6Irefertoboysandgirlswhoareidentifiedbytheirphysicalappearanceandthustreatedsociallyaccordingtothatgender.Thesestudiesdonotreflectallexistinggenderdiversity.

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continued negative actions or alleged harassment, whether victims, aggressors orreactivevictims(thatis,theyreceiveorinfringesomeformofviolence).

2.2.WasIbulliedornot?:thethreelevelsofreality

Havingadefinitionofbullyingandmechanisms,suchasvictimizationquestionnaires,todetectit,isusefultopointoutanattitudethatisharmfultothepeoplewhoarepartofit. Being aware of it and identifying it is the first step to be able to do something.Butitisnotalwaysenough.Becauseontheonehanditisnotalwayseasytoidentifythisdynamicandacceptit,andontheotherhandbecauseithidesotherdynamicsthatalsooccurandthatarenotequallyrecognized.

Tofullyunderstandthisquestion,theconceptofthe3realitiescoinedbyA.Mindellisvery useful. In ProcessWorkwe say that reality can be experienced from 3 differentrealities,allimportantandnecessaryandthatoccuratthesametime.

In consensus reality, the definition I made before about bullying fits. They are theexperiencesthatcanbemeasured,observed,thataretangibleandvisible.Inmycase,toknow if I sufferedbullyingornot from this frameworkof reality Iwould askwho theaggressorswere,whathappened,whenithappenedandhowoften,etc.

Idon'trememberanyaggressors,thoughIrememberspecificeventssuchaswhentheyhidmyshoesortheylockedmeinaclosetwithanotherboy,butIdonotknowwhenorhowoften those things happened. So, from this dimension of reality, I did not sufferbullying.

Now, from dreamland, which is a more subjective level of reality, my experience isdifferent.Idon'thavegoodfeelingsaboutthattime.IfeltaloneandIfeltthatsomethingorsomeonewasisolatingme.AtthatlevelIdidfeellikeavictimandtherewereoneormoreaggressors,notalwaysthesameperson,notevensometimesassomeonetangible,butratherfeelingsorbeliefsthatoppressedmeandmademefeelbad,likeaninternalaggressorinmyownhead.

Recognizingbothexperiencesasrealhelpsmetogiveaspacetothatimportantstageofmy life, to recognize it and tobeable to respondmore calmlywhen theyaskme if Isufferedbullyingornot,becausedespitetheanswerIgive,theimportantthingformeis

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that I can validate my own subjective experience. Because, although at the level ofconsensusrealityIdidnotsufferbullying,atdreamlandthatwasmyexperience.

And here is one of the difficulties and challenges, because in our Western culture,consensus reality ismore valuedand, therefore, iswhat is used tomeasure reality.Hence,thechallengeistoalsoappreciatethesubjectiveexperienceasreal,becauseitismy internalexperienceand thishasaffectedandstillaffectsmyexperiences,how IperceivetheworldandhowIrelatetoothers.

Thethirdlevelofrealityisessence,thatinwhichwefeeltherelationshipandconnectionwithsomethingbiggerthanus,wheretherearenopolaritiesorconflictsandthereisonlysomethingthatcontainseverything.Goodbread(2010)saysthatasapsychotherapisthehasbeentrainedtolookforthetotalityoftheperson,theconnectionwiththespiritorsoulandthatthatgivesthemaspiritualrank.AndalthoughnowI'mnottalkingaboutpower,butofexperiencingrealityfromthatessencelevel,whathesayshelpsmetoseehowinmycase,myowntraining inProcessWorkandmyownpersonaldevelopmenthelps me at times to experiment with what I experienced from that totality, seeingbullyingaspartof thewhole.And it is fromhere, fromaplacewheretherearemoresensations thanwords, that I canapproachbullying fromdetachment,adistance thatbringsmeclosertothesimpleandcomplex,tothewhole,andthisgivesmeaperspectivethathelpsmetofacilitatethedynamicsfromadeeperunderstandingoftheinterrelationofallthepartiesinvolved.

2.3.No,thereisnobullyinghere:conflictingwiththeconflict

Itwasn'tuntiltheearly70'sthatbullyingbegantobeinvestigated,initiallyinScandinavia,andinthe80'sthefirststudiesappeared(Rose,2009).Thedifferentstudiesconductedatdifferenttimesshowthatthephenomenonhasnotchangedsubstantially(thenumberofcasesissimilar),however,inrecentyears,inCatalonia,bullyinghasgeneratedagrowingconcernineducationalenvironmentsandevenawidersociallevel.Ithasgonefromtheinvisibilityofmanyabuses,totheadoptionandgeneralizationofthewordbullyinginthemedia,socialnetworksandacademicareas.Likewise,theSurveyonSchoolCoexistenceandSafetyinCatalonia(ECESC,2011-2012)showsanincrease,onthepartofthestudents,oftheperceptionoftheglobalphenomenonofpeerabuse.Thisviewisnotassociated

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withanyincreaseinthecasesknownintheclassgroupitself,butrespondstoanincreaseingeneralawarenessandsensibility.

In the construction of the discourse against bullying, different roles have beenfundamental,suchastheLGTBIQ7movement,whichfromthesocialsciencesandactivismhasmadehomophobicbullyingvisible,thepressureoffamilieswithchildrenwhosufferharassment has increased, the development of the Law 11/2014, (October 10th), toguarantee the rightsof lesbian,gay,bisexual, transgenderand intersexpeopleand toeradicate homophobia, biphobia and transphobia in Catalonia and the proposed lawagainsthatecrimein2016attheleveloftheSpanishState,andtheimpactofdifferentcases in the media and on social networks, such as the viralization of witnesses onYouTubeandthemobilizationsgeneratedforcasesofsuicide.Thus,socialmovements,academicandinstitutionalspheres,andthemediahavecometogetherinadiscourseofrejectionanddemandforaction.8

Thisconcernaboutbullying,however,hashadcontradictoryeffectsontheeducationalcommunity.Therejectionandcondemnationassociatedwiththewordbullyinghasledmanyestablishmentsnotwantingtobeassociated,sincehavingandrecognizingacaseof bullying can lead to media attention, conflicts between different parties and astigmatizingoftheestablishment.Therefore,bullyinghasbecomesomewhattabooforprimaryandsecondaryschools.

Wesaythatthereisnobullyingforfearofrejection,forfearthatwearenotdoingthingsright,thatfamilieswillcomplainandleavetheschool...Schools,liketeachers,havealotofpressuretobeexemplaryandnotmakemistakes.Inaddition,therearetwootherkeyfactorsthatmakebullyingdifficulttorecognize.Ontheonehand,manyofthebestknowncasesarethemostseverecases,suchasthecaseofAlan,atransgenderteenagerfromRubí who committed suicide in December 2015. Therefore, when the word bullyingappears,theimaginationgoeslookingforthesereferences,whichareaminority.Ontheotherhand,thereisawidespreadbeliefthatiftheschoolhasagoodpedagogicalmodeltherewillbenobullyingintheclassroom.And,applyingthesamelawinreverse,aschoolwherethereisbullyingisabadschoolwithbadeducators.Thereareseveralstudiesthatshowthatdifferenteducationalpracticessuchasmoredemocraticstylesofleadership

7The initialsLGTBIQstand forLesbian,Gay,Trans (Transexual,TransgenderandTransvestism),Bisexual,IntersexualandQueer.Queer isatermcoinedbyJudithButlertogivenametothe lackofdefinition intermsofsexualidentity,orientationanddesire.8ReflectionsoftheteamofFilal'agulla

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reducevictimizationrates, improvingcoexistenceamongstudents.However, thisdoesnotmeanthatthistypeofbehaviordoesnotoccur inthistypeofschool,whatsurelychanges is that it is detected early on and intervened in. And this iswhatmakes thedifference.Theproblemisnotthatthereisbullying,itisthatitisnotproperlyintervenedinordertoturnthatexperienceintoalearningopportunity.

Whenbullying isdenied inaneducationalcenter, it isusefultoknowwhattheyarenegating,whattheysayisnothappening,andtoknowwhattheschool,thefamiliesand the teachers are afraid of. Recognizing the experience with which the school isidentified is going tomake the path easier to then learn about othermore unknownaspects,andtoaccepttheyes,whichiswhatishappeningandisdifficulttorecognize.

2.4.Herethereisnobullying,but...

Thefearofbullyingmeansthatthereissomeobsessiontodetermineiftheproblemsofthe educational centers deserve the label or not. If it is bullying, the educationalcommunitymobilizesasbestitcan,butifitisnot,insomewaytherequiredattentionisnotgiventoit.Andasitturnsoutthatnotallcasesofviolenceandharassmentoccurinaprolongedmannerovertime,ordonotmeetalltherequirementstoenterthecategoryofbullying,manycasesofviolentbehaviorremainwithoutbeingidentifiedandmanaged.Inaction, secrecy, anderrors indiagnosismeanmanyaggressionsbetweenequals aretrivializedinschoolsandinstitutes."Inourcenterthereisnobullying,but..." It isthis"but"thatshowsafieldthatmustbeidentifiedandtransformed.

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2.5.Thesystemicperspective:therolesinthebullyingsystem

Bullyingisadynamicthathappensintheschoolenvironment,amongstudents.Andalthoughtwomain actors intervene, the aggressor and the victim, there is a third key actor: thewitness.Whenthereissomeonemarginalized,theclassknowsit,anditisagroupdynamicinwhichallthepeopleinthegroupintervene.

Thisissobecauseitisthegroupthatunconsciouslydefinesthepositionalorcontextualpower(I will discuss thismore in detail later), which determines that certain attitudes,ways ofbehaving,dressing,hobbies,etc.aremorevaluedthanothers.Thesetypeofvaluesarealsoinfluencedbysocialpower,thatwhichismostvaluedinourWesternmajoritysociety.Andtherefore,thistypeofpowerinfluencesindefiningwhoinaclasshasmorepositionalpowerandcanpotentiallybeanaggressorandwholessandcanpotentiallybeavictim.

Ononehand,itisthiswaybecauseofthefieldtheoryandrolesandthetheoryofthesystem.Systemstheory,developedbyBertalanffyinthe1940s,definesasystemasasetofelementsindynamic interaction.Bythepropertyoftotality,theelementsofasystemare insucharelationshipthatthemodificationofanelementorsomerelationwithinthesystemcausesthemodificationofthewholesystem.9

Ontheotherhand,inpsychologytheconceptoffieldfromphysicsisusedtodescribethegroupfieldsasdynamicfieldsinwhichthepartsinterrelate.A.Mindell(2000)saysthattheorganizationconstitutesafieldthatmanifestsitselfinphysicalstructures,humanfeelings,aparticularatmosphereandspecificjobsandroles.Thefieldcreatesandorganizesthegroupas much as people organize it and expresses itself through beliefs, creating group andindividualidentities.Ifthefieldiscongruent,whatthegroupbelievesanddoesisidentical.Butmoreoftenthannotitisnotlikethat,thegroupisimmersedinaseaofinformation,aseaofsignalsthathasanimpact,butwhoseimpactisrejected.

AprinciplethathasadirectrelationshipwiththeProcessWorkisthattheinformationcannotbelostordestroyed,butremainsinthesystemorinthefield.Therefore,onceissued,asignalwillpersistuntilitisconsciouslycollectedandusedasanintervention.Diamond10sayssuchasystemwillcontinuetobroadcastsignalsuntilthesystemchanges.Thisistheprincipleofconservationofinformation,whichpostulatesauniversalimpulseorintentofinformationtoreachconsciousness.

InaBarcelonaSecondarySchool, therewasacaseofbullying inaclass.The faculty teamdetecteditandinvitedthemainaggressortoleavetheinstituteandwhensheleft,anotherpersontookhisplace.Thisisagoodexampleofthesystemicdimensionofthedynamicsof

9http://perso.wanadoo.es/nicanorap/apunt_terap_famil_2.htm10Diamond,J.“Patternsofcommunication:towardsanaturalscienceofbehavior”

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bullyingandofoneoftheprinciplesofroletheory:whenapersonstopsoccupyingtherole,ifthedynamicshavenotbeenfullyprocessedortherelationshipsworkedthrough,lookingat themessages and theuseful essenceof the role, the role canbeoccupiedbyanotherperson.

Mindell(2004)definesroleasthatpositionorpointofviewthatdependsonthetimeandspace,whichcanberepresentedbydifferentpeopleandpartsover timeandremain inapermanentstateofflux.

From this perspective, we can say that groups where there is bullying are incongruoussystems,inthatitisnotpartoftheirbeliefsthatbullyingservesthedevelopmentandlearningof students, however it exists, and this constellates in the group certain roles: aggressor,victimandwitness.Astheyareroles inthesystem,everyonehasthecapacitytooccupythem.Sometimes,whoeverhasmoretendencytoaroleduetotheirpersonalexperienceamongotherfactors,isthefirstoccupyit.

Takingthisperspectiveintoaccountisalsounderstandingthatpeoplearemuchmorethantheroletheyoccupyinthegroup.Oneofthebiggestconflictsingroupsiswhenyoustopseeingthat,andyouonlyseethepersonastheroletheyoccupy.Thisisharmfulforthepersonand for thegroup,because thegroupalso loses theopportunity to learn fromeach role.Therefore,achildaggressorwillnotalwaysbeanaggressor,healsooccupiesotherroles.Whathappensisthatsometimestheseotherrolesgounnoticedornotrecognized.

Herewehaveanotherexampleofshiftingroles.InaprimaryschoolinBarcelonatherewasagirlwhowasaleaderinhergroupandrepresentedthevaluesmostdesiredbythegroup,probablyunconsciously.Shedidnotmakegooduseofherpower,leavingotherpeopleout.After a year, these people, resentful of the accumulated pain, began tomarginalize her,makingherthescapegoatofthegroup.Inthiscase,thegirlwentfromtheroleofaggressortotheroleofvictiminthesamegroup.

2.6.Theroleoftheaggressor

Theroleoftheaggressorissomeonewithpowerthatmisuseshispower,evenabusingwhenthevictimisnotabletodefendhimself.J.Goodbread(2010)saysthatconflictbecomesabusewhenanopponentusessomuchstrength,eitherphysicalorpsychological,thattheotherpersoncannotdefendhimself.

Often theaggressors represent valuesof the contextual rankof thegroupand thegroupfollowsthemandsupportstheiractions.Onotheroccasions,theyexertpowerinacoercive

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way, exerting fear in the group, as in the case of a 6th grade child (12 years old) whothreatenedhisgroupnottoincludeanotherchildintheWhatsAppgroupofthewholeclass.

Onedifficultywiththeroleoftheaggressoristhatitisverydifficulttoidentifywithitandacknowledgeit.Inover30talksthatIhavegiventofamiliesonthesubject,therehavetherebeenonlytwomotherswhohavespokenoftheirchildrenasaggressorsandinworkshopswith children, on rare occasions, some people ask for forgiveness. Admitting it, saysGoodbread(2010)islikescoldingyourselfforhavingsuchaterriblecharacteristic,asbullyingis despised bymost people, it is almost impossible to admit it. Also, there is the addeddifficultythatwhenyoureprimandyourself,youaffectyourownpower,diminishingit,andthatislikeawayofhittingoneself,ofbecomingbullied.Thisexplainswhathappensattheinstitutionlevelandthedifficultyonthepartoftheteachingstaffandmanagementteamtoadmitthatthere isasituationofbullying intheeducationalcenter.So,achallengeintheinterventionofbullyingistoworkwiththenegativeattitudestothisbehavior,toreducetheextremeimagethatmakesitdifficulttoacknowledgeit.

Onewaytoexplainthattheaggressorpersistsinhisbehavioristhatthisbehaviorisaddictive,itseekstosatisfyalonging,andalthoughmomentarilytheremaybeasmallsatisfaction,itisnotsustainableandthatcausesittoberepeatedagainandagain.Goodbread(2010)saysthatwhen conflict avoids its real victim, it risks becoming addictive. You can get a temporarysatisfactionoutofragewithsomeoneallegedlyweakerandhavetheopportunitytoconnectwithyourownpower,butthisdoesnotlast.Butwhentheconflictwiththewrongpersonbegins,thissolutioncannotbesatisfactoryinthelongterm,becauseitdoesnotdirecttheinitialconflictandstimulatesmoreandmoreactsofabuse.

AtaschoolinEsplugues,ina1stgradeclass(6yearsold),ateachertoldmethattherewasagirlwhowasharassinganotherboyandwasconstantlymakingcommentsabouthisglasses.Theyknewthatthiswashappeningbecausethechilddidnotwanttogotoschool.Whentheteacher spokewith the (aggressor) girl's family, shediscovered that shehad suffered thepreviousyear,beingthevictimofanotheraggressor.Thegirldidnothavethecapacitytofaceherrealconflict,shefelthelpless,andthefollowingyearsherefocusedhersituationwithanewvictim,seekingtosatisfysomeunfulfilledneed,asawaytoalsoconnectwithherownpower.

Onewaytogototherootistoknowwhatthatrealconflictisthatyouwanttoface,butbecauseyouhavethefeelingthatyoucannot,youdoitwiththewrongvictim.Andtoknowwhatitisthatyouarelongingfor,whatisthatunmetneedthatyouarelookingforinanaddictiveway.

Another key factor that can leadus tobullying isnot identifyingwithourdeep sourceofpower.Underestimatingone'sownpoweristheoriginofbullying,sincesomeonewhois

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weaker is abused, instead of dealing with the opponent that really needs facing(Goodbread,2010).So,whenyoudonotidentifywithyourpower,and,inaddition,havebeenavictimofabuseinothersituations,youcanpotentiallyoccupytheroleofaggressor.

2.7.Theroleofthevictim

Theroleofthevictimistheroleofthepersonwhosuffersviolentbehaviorrepeatedlyovertime, who can not defend themselves and has less positional power in the group.Twotypesofvictimrolesaredescribed:

- Passive victim: theydon'tdefend themselvesactively. Theyare themost commoncases,probablybecausetheyarethebestknownandeasiesttoidentify.

- Activevictim:theyuseaggressionasadefensemethod.Inthiscase,theinterventionismorecomplex,sinceit'sisolationisjustifiedbyitsbehavior,statingsentencessuchas"youarelookingforit".Irememberacaseinasecondaryschool,therewasaboyof1ºESO(13yearsold)whohadbeensufferingfromisolationsinceprimaryschool.Hesometimeshidschoolsuppliesfromhisclassmatesandbeatthemonthebacktointeractwiththem.Andalthoughtheirfriendsrelatedtoeachotherinthesameway,theydidn'tlikehisbehavior,andthusjustifiedhisexclusion.Intheworkshop,weweretryingtomakethisdynamicapparentanditreallywasverydifficult.Itisoneofthemostdifficultcasestoaddress.

Due to the systematic violence they receive, the victim internalizes the aggression byinternalizingtheroleoftheaggressor.So,theyenduphavingtwoaggressors,theexternalandtheinternal.

Anothercommonfactorthatmakesthesituationmoreserious isthattherecomesatimewhenthedynamicscontinueandarenotcurbed,andthepersonfeelsguiltyandresponsibleforwhatishappeningtothem,whatiscalledintrojectionoftheblame.Theeffectsonthepersoncanbetraumatic.Emotionalwell-beingsuffers,oftenresultinginshame,depression,hopelessness,anger...andintheworstcasestheremaybesuicidalorself-injuriousthoughtsandsuicide.All this, together with the difficulty of expressing vulnerability, makes the victim isolatehimselfandnotcommunicatetohissocialnetworkwhatishappening.Achildin6thgrade(12yearsold)inaschoolinCastellbisbal,saidinaletterthathedidnotwanttotellhisparentsthathewassufferingonthepathtoschool,becausehedidnotwantthemtosuffer.Thismakes itmoredifficultto identifybullying.Someofthecommonsignalsto identify itfromtheroleofthevictim,areusually:

- physicalinjuries,lackofschoolsupplies,headaches,vomiting..

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- behavioralfactorssuchasnotwantingtogotoschool,increaseordecreaseinfocusonstudies,etc.

- or emotional signals such as depression, irrational fears, aggressiveness at home,moodswings…

Butthepersonwhoissufferingrarelyexplainsit,themostcommonbehavioristheisolationofthevictimandthismakesthesituationmoreserious,sinceitismoredifficulttoidentifythedynamicsandthereforehelpthesufferer.

Irememberthat,inmycase,Ilockedmyselfin,Ididnottellmyparentswhatwashappeningtome,althoughtheydidseethatIwasunhappyandthatIdidnothavefriends.Theirwayofhelpingmewastoprovidemewithanotherenvironment,soIchangedschoolsandyouthclubs11.IrememberthatIcriedalotandtheycriticizedmeforthat.OvertimeIhavelearnedtovaluethatsensitivityandnowit’spartofoneofmygreatestqualities.IcryeasilywhenIempathizewithsomeoneorgetemotionalaboutsomething.

Tohelpthosewhoareintheroleofthevictim,thekeyistoconfronttheinternalaggressor.Afathertoldmethathisdaughterbelievedthatshewasstupid,asshehadbeentoldsomanytimesandintheend,itturnedoutthatshehaddyslexiaanduntilthiswasdetectedithadaffectedherlearning.Whentheydiscoveredthemotive,ithelpedthemtocounteractthatnegativeimageofherself,inshort,toconnectwithherpersonalpower.

Itisalsoimportanttobeabletoworkwiththatfeelingofguilt,andworkingwithrelationshipsatgrouplevelcanhelpthis,sothatthesufferercanseethattherearealsoexternalrolesofaggressororwitnesswhoarecausingpain,andiftheytakeresponsibility,thesufferercanstopfeelingguilty.

Finally,Ithinkitiscrucialtoworkatthesociallevelwithvulnerability.Itisimportantthatallofus learntoconnectwithourvulnerability,andnotpunishtheemotionalexpressionsofsadness,despair,etc.Thisimpliesachangeofbeliefsystemsinsomecases,andalsodoingpersonalwork.Parentingasufferingchildisrecognizingyourownsuffer,separatingitfromyourchild's,sothathe/sheisabletoexpresswhatishappeningtothem,andseeksupportfromyou.

11Leisuretimecluborganizedbyvolunteers,typicalinCatalonia

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2.8.Theroleofthewitness

Theroleofthewitness istheroleoftheonewhois inthesituation,observes itanddoesnothingtostopit.Sometimestheyevenaddtotheaggression,laughingorhurlinginsultsorderogatorycomments,isolatingtheperson,etc.

Whenyouaskthemwhytheydon'tdoanythingtostopit,theyanswerthattheyareafraidtobeonthereceivingend,tobeexcluded.Therefore,forthemit isbettertosupporttheaggressor, than to go against them. Curiously, there are few timeswhen they think thatsupporting the victim may be another way to intervene. Once, a mother started cryingbecauseherdaughterwasbeingmarginalizedbythegroupbecauseshewassupportingthevictim.Inthesameroomwasthevictim'smother,whothankedherdaughterforsupportingher.Thisgirlwassomeonewithalotofpersonalpower,capableofholdingherown,althoughthiswentagainsthowthemajorityofthegroupactedandshethusbecamesetapartbytherest.Therefore,theroleofthewitness isthatofthepersonwhofollowstheleaderandunconsciouslyreinforcesamajorityvalueandastaticpowerdynamic,allowingtheretobeanaggressorandavictim.

Itisakeyroleinthedynamicsofbullying,forthereasonsthatIhavealreadyexplainedandbecauseofthesimplefactthatobserversinaviolentdynamicchangeandtransformtheactandthewayofperceivingit.Inadolescence,itistypicalforkidstofightoutofschool,andwhenthishappensithappenswithanaudience,whichhasbeenpreviouslyinvitedandthatalsoencouragesthem.Viewersreinforcethedynamics,affectthemandarealsoaffectedbythem.Andthisisalsoimportant,becausenotonlythevictimandtheaggressorsuffer,butalsothosewhoobserve,encourageandsupportsuffer.Sometimestheysuffercoercionanddirectthreatsfromthosewhoattack,orindirectlyduetofearofbeingseparatedfromthegroup,thediscomfortofwitnessinganactofviolence,thepainduetothesufferingofothers,etc.Andiftheydonotinterveneinthedynamicstheylearnthatbyattackingyoucanachievestatusandpower.

Thereisawidespreadbeliefthatmakesitdifficultforanyonewhoobserves:"Ifyousneakyouareatraitor".Ateacherataschoolworkedonthisbeliefbycounteractingthereasonswhysomebodyisatelltale,orsomeoneexplainstoanadultwhattheyareobserving.Shesaidthat itwasnecessary todifferentiatewhowas“telling” tohurt theperson fromwhowas"telling"asanactofjusticeandsolidarity.Totransformthings,itwasnecessarytodenounceunfairacts.

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2.9.Otherrolesandtherelationshipbetweenthem

Menken(2013)saysthatanysocialhistoryrevealsfourmainrolesthatarepresent:victim,oppressor,witnessandfacilitator.Whilethefirstthreerolesareverycommon,thatofthefacilitator is rarely present. This is the role of those who help people to work throughdifferences or conflict, who are able to listen deeply, encourage interactions betweenpolaritiesandleadthroughencouragingbetterrelationshipsandbuildingcommunity.

InProcessWorkwetalkaboutghostrolesasthoserolesthatarepartofthesystem,butthatarenotpresent,nooneinthegrouprepresentsthem.Inthebullyingdynamic,thereisabigghostrole,theroleofthepersonwhostopsit,whosaysenoughandwhodoessomethingtochangethesituation.Therearemanywaystocarryoutthisrole.Wecouldsaythatthereareasmanyaspeopleinthegroup.Itcouldalsobetheroleofthefacilitator,ortheroleofelder.Theelder,anancientChineseconcept,isonewhofollowsthedirectionofnature,andwhoisabletowelcomeallrolestoexploretheessenceinthemandfavordialogue,atdifferentlevelsof reality. The roleof theelder isbasedon thebasicprincipleofdeepdemocracy,whichmeansbeingawareofthediversityofpeople,rolesandfeelings,asacollectiveattitudethatrecognizesthatallrolesandpointsofviewarenotonlynecessary,butthattheyneedtoberecognized,respectedandinteractwitheachothersothatthewisdomandintegrityoftherealmemerges(Mindell,2014).

Thereareother roles thatarepresentbut rarelyexpressed, forexample the roleofpain,injury,fears,etc.Noneofthepeoplewhooccupythethreerolesmentionedabove,usuallyexpresspain,difficultexperiences,fears...

Andtherearealsoothersthatinfluencethedynamicofbullying,makingitmoredifficulttoresolvethem,suchastheroleofthecritic,whomakesjudgments,whodeniestheexperienceofbullyingbysayingthat"it’snormal,theyarekids",etc.(otherexamplesofcriticalvoicesarespecifiedinsection2.11).

Anotherbasicideaisidentity.ProcessWorkdescribesidentityasaparticularandmomentaryconfigurationofconsciousness,inwhichthepersonorgroupidentifieswithsomethingandthe"other"iswhatmomentarilydisturbstheiridentity.Withwhatisidentifiedisdefinedasaprimaryprocessorprimaryidentityor"u"andthe"other",whodisturbsisthesecondaryprocess,thesecondaryidentityor"x".Thegoalofthisframeworkistobringthesecondaryinformationintothefieldofouridentity,expandingit,becauseitisunderstoodthatwhatwebelieveisnot"us"isalso"us"andcanbefluidamongthegivenidentities.Thechangecomesbychangingtherelationshipsandattitudeswithwhatbothersus,andbyfindingtheessenceusefulinthosethatbotherus,the"x".(Diamond)

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Identityisstructuredbyabeliefsystem.Whenthebeliefsystembecomestooone-sided,theunconsciousislikelytochallengethat,manifestingsomethingthatcreatesdisturbance(Rose,2009).

Fromthisperspective,therearemoreprimaryrolesforthegroupandthepeopleinthegroup.The role of the aggressor is usually amore secondary role because it ismore difficult toidentifywith it because of everythingwe have said before, but this changesmoment bymoment.Andinaddition,alltherolesarealsointheinternalpsychologyofpeople,sothatwhensomeoneisattackingtheycanmomentarilyidentifywiththeroleoftheaggressorandthatofthevictimwillbemoresecondary.Menken(2013)pointsoutthatidentifyingwithonlyone role makes you lose the totality and the opportunity to learn from other roles.Understandingthatanyonecanbeanyofthedifferentrolessupportsthedevelopmentofcompassiontowardsothers.

InworkingwithWordCirclesinschools,theroleofvictimisoftenmoreclearlyvisible,severalpeopleinthegroupidentifywiththeroleandexpresssomethingmoresecondary,theirpain.When this happens, and the aggressor sees it, he momentarily occupies the role of thewitness,andobservesthatsituationandthisistheopportunitytodeveloptheroleofwhostopsandsaysenough.InaschoolinElPratdeLlobregatthishappened,whenagirlexpressedhersuffering forbeingcriticizedonherphysicalappearance,anotherchildwenttoheratplaytimeandapologizedtoher.

2.10.Powerandrankdynamics

We have already been talking about power and the importance of this element in thedynamicsofbullying,andnowIwillexplainalittlemore.Forthisitisusefultodifferentiatethetypesofpower.Diamond(2016),distinguishesthesocialpowerfrompersonalpower.Thefirstisexternalandisgivenbytheenvironment,whilethesecondisaself-generatedpowerthatcanbeinalienabletoanycontextandsituation,youjusthavetocultivateitandlearntobeincontactwithiteveninthemidstofconflict.

Before(point2.5.),Ihavenamedpositionalorcontextualpower.Thisisatypeofsocialpower,whichhastodowiththemostimmediatecontext,theclassgroupitselfandisdefinedbythegroup'svaluesystem.Itiskeytoexplainthedynamicsbetweenthecenterandthemargin,betweenwhatismostvaluedandlessand,therefore,betweenthepeopleoftheclasswhoaremore"leaders"andthosewhoareinthe"margins"andthereforepotentialaggressorsandvictims.

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Diamond (2016) explains in her book "Power, a user's guide" how power makes peoplecorrupt.Oneofthereasonsisthedifficultyofdealingwithemotions.Shesaysthathighrankgives afford us anopportunity to satisfy personal needs bymanaging others insteadofmanaging our emotions. This can momentarily alleviate, but it entails a cost in yourdevelopmentwhen youhurt someone for themisuseof yourpower and youbecomeanaggressor.And,inaddition,whenthesourceofpowerisexternal,adependencyiscreated,as in an addiction.Without an internal resource of self-esteem and personal power, thepersonbecomesmoredependent.Inthiscase,socialpowerislikeasubstance,ashortcuttofeelingbetter.

Forthisreason,amongothers,shesaysthattherecipeagainstabusesofpowerismorepower(personal).Personalpowercanalsobeoftwotypes;psychologicalpowerandspiritualpower,whichhastodowiththeconnectionwithsomethingtranspersonal,whichgoesbeyondtheperson.Psychologicalpowerderives frompersonalexperiencesand is cultivatedbydoingpersonalwork,ithastodowithpersonalandsocialskills,withresilienceandself-esteem.

BeforeIhaveexplainedhowunderestimatingone'sownpowercanleadtoconflictswiththewrongperson,lookingforaneasiertargetwithwhomtounloadtheemotionsthatyoucannotmanagewiththepersonwithwhomyoushouldhavetheconflict.

Andfinally,anotherkeyaspectinthisdynamicisthatnothavingsocialpowerisfrowneduponandnotvalued,soitisverydifficulttoappreciateandrecognizewhatitmeanstohavelowrank.Diamond(2016)commentsthat,tobemoreconnectedtoyourpower,itisimportanttoloveyourlowrankandembraceyourvulnerability.Theinviolableforcecomesfromthecomplacencyofhavingnothingtoloseandthatthechallengesoflowrankarethesourceofsomeofthelargerforcesandpowers.Itcanallowyoutotakerisks,becauseyouhavelittletolose,andithelpsyoutobemorecompassionatewiththeroleofyourownvictimandofothers.

Tobeable tomovebetween roleswithandwithoutpower,helpsemotionalandsocialdevelopment,it helps to know how others feel and to have more relational tools. Thisincreasesawarenessandtheabilitytomakegooduseofpower.

2.11.Theintra-psychicperspective:beliefsystemsandcritics

A very important factor in the development of conflict and bullying is the intra-psychicperspective, since it amplifies the phenomenon making it more harmful. In addition toexternalconflicts,weconflictinternallythroughself-criticalthoughtsthatcomefrompatternslearnedinthesocialorfamilyenvironment.InProcessWorktheyarecalledinternalcritics

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and they differ fromother psychological currents in that it is understood that they bringpotentiallyusefulinformation(Straub,1990)

Criticscanbefiguresattheedge.Theedgestructurestheidentityoftheperson,relationshipsandgroupsandisdefinedbythebeliefsystem.Theessentialcharacteristicofthecriticisthatitleadstonegativeself-constructionandjudgments.Itisafigurethatchangesmomentbymoment.

Thecriticbecomesaninneraggressor,causingthepersontoidentifyhimselfasthevictim,theonewhosuffersfromthataggression.Inthisway,wecansaythatbullyingreproducesinternally,especiallywhenthisdynamiccontinuesovertime-wedonotdefendourselvesandwearenotabletounderstandtheusefulmessageofthecritic.

Sometimestheexternaldynamicofbullyingstops,buttheinternaldynamiccontinuesandcancontinueforyearsandyears.Workingwiththecriticorinneraggressorcanbeawaytoprocesstraumaticeventsfromthepast,whicharestillaliveattheinternalsubjectivelevel,atdreamlandlevel.

Ihaveworkedonseveraloccasionswithmymemoriesofmy timeat school,about thoseeventsthatImentionedpreviously.Andinthisprocess,Ibecameawareofmyowninternalcritics.Inmycase,asentencethathurtsme,is"Youdidnotdoanythingtostopit".EvenwhenIwriteitnow,Ineedtogoslowly,InoticethatIgetemotionalandthatthemessageisdifficultforme.Itisdifficultbecauseitfeedstheguilt(itistheintrojectionoftheguiltthatImentionedinsection2.7.),Atthesametimeitcanalsohaveausefulmessage.WhenIamabletoremovethegrainfromthestraw,todefendmyselffromthepartthatcrushesmeandhurtsmeandtobecompassionatewiththegirlatthetimewhodidthebestshecould,afterthisandalotofpersonalwork,Icanbecalmerwithwhathappenedandaskmyselfaboutmyresources,mystrategiesandthatthishelpsmeconnectwithmypersonalpower.

ThisisanexampleofwhatIwassayingbefore,thecriticbringspotentiallyusefulinformation.Oftenitisnoteasytoidentifyit,sometimesthatinformationisnoteveninthecontent,butworkingwith this internal dynamic is a very importantway tomanage bullying amongpeople externally.Workingwith internal critics can be likeworkingwith accusations: beaware of the damage, defend yourself and recognize the part of truth that you have.Furthermore, in this case itwill alsobe interesting to recognize theusefulessenceof thecritic'srole,whichmaybeinthecontentorinhis/her/itbehaviororenergy.

It'snotonlytheroleofvictimthathascritics,aswementionedbeforeeachrolehasitsown,whichmakeustocontinueactinginacertainwayreinforcingtheharmfuldynamics.

These critics are voices that reinforce belief systems, and some of them are sometimeslimiting.Someexamples:

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- Victim:"It'snotsobad,they'rejustjokes","Ifyoudon'tknowhowtodefendyourself,you'reacoward","IfIdosomething,itwillbeworse,betternottellanyone”

- Aggressor:"Youdonotdeserveanyonetohelpyou”- Witness: "If you snitch you are a traitor", "If you get involved you will be on the

receivingendandtheywillleaveyouout”- Adultperson:"It'schildren'sthings,it'sbetternottointerfere"

ColellandEscudé(2004),havecollectedasetoftypicalideasandbeliefsofbullyingthatfeedtheirownharmfuldynamics.InmyexperienceworkingwithadultsIhaveobservedthattheycorrespondtoquestionsandcommentstypicalofparents,educatorsandteachers.

1. Theabuseisonly"jokes","kids’things",anditisbetternottogetinvolved.2. Thevictimlooksfortrouble,hedeservesit.3. Theabuseispartofgrowth,characterforming.4. Thebestwaytodefendyourselfistoreturnit.5. Abuseisaboys’thing(notgirls).6. Onlychildrenwhohavefamilyproblemsorwholiveinslumsattack.7. Thevictimsarewimpyandweakpeople.8. Whenchildrenfight,itisbetternottogetinvolvedandtokeepinaneutralposition.9. Punishthechildrenwhoattack,sotheywillstopdoingit.10. Onlythevictimneedshelp.

2.12.Violence

Much violent behavior is normalized in educational institutions.When it happens it's notseen,it'snotrecognizedandthereisnointervention.Amongthedifferentactsofviolence,themost recognizedare thephysical violence, and the least are thoseof verbal or socialviolence.Andyetthemostrecurrentactsareinsults,isolatingpeopleandleavingthemout,derogatorycomments,ridicule,etc.Theseattitudesarelessvisible,becausetheyarenotseenaseasilyasaslapinthefacewouldbe,andtheyarealsomoresociallyaccepted.Whohasnot heard two unknown people in the street insulting each other, ormaking derogatorycomments?OftenintheworkshopswithfamiliesItalkaboutviolenceinthesystem.Igiveanexampletopeoplewhooccupypublicpoliticalpositions-ifthereisviolenceinthesystem,howistherenotgoingtobeintheschools?Theschoolisareflectionofoursociety-ifasadultswedonotknowhowtomanageconflictswithoutviolence,childrenknowevenless.

Furthermore,itiscommontoobservethatthereissomethinginviolentattitudesthatattractsus.Forexample,whenteenagersobserveafightandencouragetheirinstigators,orwhenwetheatricallystagebullyingsituations,itiscommonforthemtowanttotakeontheroleofthe

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aggressorandtofocusmoreonit,laughingandsupportingtheirperformance,thanontheroleofthevictim.Thisisbecauseitinvolvesasenseofcontactwithpower.Rose(2009)saysthat rage, violence, rebellion, oppression and many other similar dynamics are closelyconnectedwithpowerandrevenge.Forthosewhoarepowerless,violentorvengefulactsare often the means used to reestablish strength and find a position of power within asituationofhelplessness.

Ithasalsobeenseenthataggressiveactscanbeadesperatewaytotrytomakecontactwithothers.Thisisacommoncaseintheroleofaggressivevictims.Irememberacaseofa3rdgradegirl(8yearsold),shewasphysicallyolderthantherestofherclassandshewaslookingforallpossiblewaystobefriendsandgetclosetoaparticulargirlinthegroup,agirlwhohadagroupoffriends.Sheusedtheaggressiveactstogetcloserandwhatshewaslookingforwascontactandrelationship.

Rose(2009)inherbookon"SchoolViolence"saysthatviolenceandaggressionareusuallyseenassomethingbadandthiscausesthemtoberepressedandpunished.Andthemoreitisrepressed,themoreforcefulitcomesoutagainexplodinginmoredestructiveways.Asitisdifficulttorecognizeitinoneself,itiseasiertoprojectitinothers.However,sheproposesthatbydoingthis,wemisstheopportunitytolearnsomething,anunderlyingmessagewiththeseactsthatmaybeimportantforthedevelopmentofthepersonandthegroup.Thisistheteleologicalperspective,whichsuggestsexploringthedisturbancetoaccessitsmeaningfromadeeperlevelofconsciousness.

Inthiscase,Rosesays,"Notonlyviolenceleadstotheappreciationofcareandfriendship,butalsoconnectswithahigherspiritualmeaning, linkingthosewhosharetheexperiencewitheachother.Inthiscontext,violencecanbeseenasanecessarynaturalforce,cultivatinganewcreativity and connection in its consequences. If education included knowledge of thesedynamics,andchildrenwereguidedandencouragedtodealwiththese forcesbothwithinthemselvesandwithinothers, therepressionofthesefactorswouldbegreatlydiminished.Destructive forcescouldbedisarmedandtheiressentialqualitiescouldbeusedcreatively,lovinglyandmeaningfully.Withoutthisprocess,itisnotsurprisingthatdestructiveimpulsesexplodeunexpectedlytocreatechaosanddevastationwithintheschoolenvironment."

Butforthistohappen,asshepointsout,anaccompanimentthatsupportsthisexpressioninausefulsenseisnecessary.Providingavesselsothatthiscanbeexpressedandrecognizedrelievesthepersonandthegroupfieldandhighlightsthesymptomofthesystemtobeabletointerveneinit.Infact,onlybeingabletotalkaboutitfreelyrelievesthesystemandreducestheneedtoactwithviolence.Beingabletoshareexperiencesisespeciallyusefultodispelthealienationandfeelasenseofconnectionwithothers.

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2.13.Multilevelintervention:intrapersonal,relationalandsystemic

Thereisatendencytolimittheinterventiontoapersonallevel,workingonlywiththepeopleandfamiliessupposedlyaffected,thatis,thevictimandtheaggressor,separately,withoutworkingontherelationship.Itisnotsousualtoimplytheglobalnatureoftheeducationalcommunity:classgroups,familiesasawhole,non-teachingstaff...Thisoptionrespondstoaconceptofbullyingthatisverylimitedbythepunitiveandsanctioningvisionoftheaggressor,tothedetrimentoftheoreticalperspectivesthatassumethatallelementsofthesystemmustbepresent in the resolutionof theconflict. It isadynamic thataffectseveryoneand it isespecially important to propose interventions at multiple levels.ProcessWorkseesthegroupasamultilevelphenomenonthatincludesindividual,relationaland group work and believes that all are necessary, important and complementary(DiamondandSummers).

- Individual intervention:peopleneedindividualsupporttorelatetotheiredgesandtheir internal aggressors, the critics. Many individual interventions focus on theexperience of victims, but it is also extremely important to explore the personalpsychology of aggressors, witnesses and other people from the educationalcommunity,aswellasthepersonintheroleoffacilitation,tobemoreawareoftheirowninternalcritics,limitingbeliefsandhowthisaffectsthewaytheyintervene(seemoreinsection2.14.).

- Relationalintervention:agroupisformedbyrelationships,itisimportanttocultivatethemandthisisdonebyrelatingtoeachother,workingthroughtheaccusationsandgetting to know each other ... In addition, bullying is a dynamic that occurs inrelationships, that iswhy it is also important towork on them. This can help, forexample,thevictimandtheabuserrecognizethedamageandrepairitandrestoretherelationshipifit'snottoodamaged.

- Group intervention: sometimes sub-groups are formedwithin affinity groups, andamongthemtherearepowerdynamics.It is importanttoworkontherelationshipbetween subgroups andwork at the role level.Working at the group level is alsoworkingonconflictatasystemiclevel,processingthedynamicsofbullyingbetweenthedifferentrolesthatexist,regardlessofwhooccupiesthem.Thisinvolvesworkingwiththeclassmates,aswellaswithfamilies,teachersandotherpeoplewhoarepartoftheeducationalcommunity.

Theauthorsalsosaythattoworkwithagroupitisimportanttoidentifyatwhatleveltheproblemisevident,asthiswillbethelevelthatneedsmorefocusandattention.Inaddition,wemustbearinmindthatworkingatonelevelalsoinfluencesandaffectstheother.Rose(2009)pointsoutthat,inthelongterm,toachievesustainablechange,itisusefulfortransformationtooccuratalllevels.Ifanindividualundergoesachangeandthenreturnsto

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a system that remains unchanged, regression may occur. So, the more levels that arerepresented,themoreisachieved.

Atopiccanbeprocessedinaparticulargroupandthenthatprocesscancontinueinothergroups,whentheissuereappears.Inthesameway,theconsciencethatisbornatthegrouplevel, can followonapersonal level, internally,orwithotherpeople thatarenotdirectlyrelated to the topic.Thishelps take the issue further.Onmore thanoneoccasion, in theworkshopsIhavedone,theyhavetoldmethingsthatcameupafterwards.InaschoolinElPratdelLlobregat,ateachertoldusthatachildhadcometotheplaygroundtoapologizetoagirl.AndalsoinElPrat,aboywhowaswithhismotherstoppedusandshethankedusforwhathadhappenedintheworkshop.Thegrowthofconsciousnessandthenewperceptionachieved in a group interaction is nothing more than a step in a continuous process ofunfoldingdeeperanddeeperlevelsofthequestionaddressed.Thegrowthofanewvisionis,therefore,acontinuousprocessinitself(Rose,2009).

2.14.OtherkeyelementsininterventionInmost cases, aggressivebehavior is addressed in apunitive,marginalizing and shamefulmanner,perpetuatingandexacerbatingtheproblem.Asincidentsinschoolsincrease,morerulesandrestrictionsareimposedonthestudentsreducingtheirautonomy,andithasbeenshownthatrestrictingthefreedomofstudentsasanattempttomanageviolenceexacerbatesviolenceratherthanreducingit.(Rose,2009)

Mindell(2017)inhislatestbookonconflictsays,"solutionsarecrucial,butoftentheyarenot sustainablewithouteveryone learning to relatebetterbetweeneachotherand theissue involved". Therefore, intervening in bullying can not be just offering solutions forpeopletobebetter,orsettingstandardstodealwiththeproblem.Often,oneofthesolutionsoffered for the victim is to change schools, in some cases this helps the person, but thedynamicsdonotalwaysstop.So,Mindellproposesthatduringtheinterventionweshouldbeawareoftheprocessitself,drawingattentiontotherelationshipsandthedialoguebetweentheroles.Thisisthesustainabletool.

Valuesandethicalprinciplesarewhatguideouractions,orshould,becausemostofthetimeweforgetthem,wearenotaware.Goodbread(2010)saysthatitisimportanttofindawaytorememberthemforthesafetyoftheconflict.Thisisequallyimportantwhenweinterveneinbullying. Inan interventioninaschool,therewasapersonwhoattackedanothermoremarginalizedpersoninthegroup.Imadeasharpcommentwithhisinterventionandthat,inturn,wasaggressive.Iwasreacting,influencedbymyownexperienceinmychildhood,Iactedwithoutthinkingortakingintoaccount,atthetime,whatarethevaluesandprinciplesthat

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guidemyintervention.WhenIleft,Ireflectedonitwithmycolleagueasshehadalsonoticedthesituation.Ihadfeltbad,affectedbyhowthepersoninquestioncouldhavefelt.Inthenextsession,Iapologized,andalthoughtheydidnotwanttoacceptmyapology,denyingtheseriousnessofthesituation,Iinsistedanditwasanimportantmomentinthegroup,therewasachangeofroles.Irecognizetheroleofaggressorandhetooktheroleofvictim.Mybehaviormodeledawayofinterveninginthiskindofsituation.Thisexamplehighlightstheimportanceofpersonalworkwhenweintervene.Tointerveneinbullyingitisimportanttobeawareofyourownpersonalhistory, toknowwhichsideyouempathizewithmore, toknowthebehaviorandsituationsthatbotheryouthemost,etc.Personalworkhelpsyoutobemoreaware,torecognizeyourselfinyourowndynamic,sinceaspartofthefieldyoucanalsooccupy roles consciously andunconsciously, and thereforebe able to intervenewithawarenessandinconnectionwithyourvalues.

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3. Wordcircles:theapproachtobullyinginschools

AfterexplainingbullyingfromProcessWorkperspective,inthissectionIfocusontheworkintheclassroomswith theWordCircles. TheWordCirclesare themain toolweuse inFil al'agullatoworkonrelationships,theexpressionofemotionsandsituationsofdiscriminationandbullying. This toolhas severalorigins,butwehaveourownwayofusing it, and it isnurturedbytheProcessWorkapproachandthisiswhatIwanttoexpressmoreconcretelyinthischapter.

3.1.Originofthecircles

Circles are a practice with roots in the native communities of North Americawhere thecommunity,sittinginacircle,dialoguetoresolveconflicts.Theyuseatalkingpiece,anobjectthatpassesfrompersontopersoninthecirclegivingeachtheopportunitytospeakandbelistenedto.Therearealsoothertraditionalprecedents,wheretheuseofthecircleisseenasasymbolicelementandapracticeincommunicationandcommunitywork12.

Currentcirclescombinetheseancienttraditionswithcontemporaryconceptsofparticipatorydemocracyandinclusioninacomplexandmulticulturalsociety(Alberti,2012).

Rul.lan(2011),inhisthesis,expressesthatthefirstexperiencesofrestorativejusticewereinthe70'sinCanadaandtheUSA,handinhandwiththeMennoniteChurchandinNewZealandandAustralia,asaresultoftherevaluationofthesystemsoftraditionalMaorijustice.

Althoughtheoriginofrestorativejusticeisinthecriminalsphere,fromthebeginningtherearecasesintheschoolenvironment,especiallywithyoungpeopleandproblematicbehavior.Attheendofthe70s,CSFBuxmont,inPennsylvania,UnitedStates,begantoexperimentwithcircles in schools (Costello and more, 2011). And in 1977, the International Institute forRestorative Practices (IIRP) was born, which broadens the knowledge and practice ofrestorative justice to other areas and forms a set of restorative practices. The spectrumranges fromaffective statementswhere the victim informshis aggressorhowhe/she feltabouttheaggression,tothemorestructuredrestorativemeetingsandtheCircleofPeace,whichfocusesontheconflictinvariousstages.Therearemanytypesofcircleandtheyvaryintheirstructureandformatdependingonthepurposetheyhave.Youcanworkfromcontentof thesubject, to thedecisionmakingoraspects related to theknowledgeof thepeople,

12Anexampleofthisisbrieflydescribedinthisarticlethatexemplifiesitwithcasesfromdifferentculturesoftheworld:http://unaantropologaenlaluna.blogspot.com.es/2015/04/justicia-restaurativa-por-el-mundo.html

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relationshipsandconflictresolution.Althoughthedevelopmentofrestorativepracticeshasbeengoingformanyyears,fewexperiencesintheeducationalfieldareknownintheSpanishstate.Themostwidespreadandwell-knownrestorativepracticeismediation,butusuallyonlyaggressorandvictimparticipateinit,andtherearemanyotherpracticesthatalsoincludeworkatthegrouplevel,withtheparticipationofothermembersofthecommunity.IntheBalearicIslands,anexperiencewasdevelopedin2013thatworkedonacommunitylevelintheSonGotleuneighborhoodinPalmadeMallorcaandincludedtheapplicationofrestorativepracticesintheschool.13.

So,wecansaythattheoriginsofthecircleshavetwocentralpillars,ontheonehandthetraditionofindigenouscommunitypracticesofdifferentnativepeoplesthroughouttheworldandontheotherhandthedevelopmentofrestorativejusticefrom1970.

In2010IdiscoveredthecirclesinatrainingofTheatreoftheOppressedledbyAristizábal.14.Hepresentedthecouncilcircle15asaritualelementthatcouldbeusedforworkingwithyoungpeopleandbuildingontruthinthegroup,usingthecircle,awordstickandsomebriefslogansto guide him. From then on, Fil a l'agulla began to incorporate the Word Circle in theworkshopsinschools.

LaterIdiscoveredrestorativejusticewiththeInternationalInstituteforRestorativePractices.ItrainedinworkingwithcirclesandIreadadiversebibliographyonthesubject.ThisisbasedonalinearconflictapproachthatstartsfromtheideaofanaggressorandavictimandusestheNonviolentCommunicationmethoddevelopedbyRosenberg16torecognizethevariousneedsandcommunicatewithothersinanempathicway.NonviolentCommunicationfocusesonthreeaspects:self-empathy(definedasadeepandcompassionateperceptionofone'sinnerexperience),empathy(understandingandsharinganemotionexpressedbyanother)andhonestself-expression(definedasexpressingoneselfauthenticallyinawaythatmakesthecompassionofothersmorelikely).17

SincewebeganusingthesecirclestheframeworkofworkinFilal'agullahasbeenProcessWork,sothepresentationofthismethodologyisbasedonthetheoreticalframeworkthatIexplainedinthepreviouspoint.

13SonGotleuschool,inPalmadeMallorca.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPWHaJT7dN814Course:"Conferencesforthetrainingofyoutheducators.TheRainbowofDesire",in2010inBarcelona,Spain.TheTheateroftheOppressedisatypeoftheaterdevelopedinthe50'sinBrazilbyA.Boal.Itsmainprincipleisthepracticeofstageartasanactivitydedicatedtoimprovingthelivesoflessfavoredsocialgroups.15Source:http://ojaifoundation.org/our-programs/council-in-schools16AmericanpsychologistwhocreatedNonviolentCommunication,knownasCNV,amethodtocommunicateandresolveconflicts.In2006,hewrotethebook"NonviolentCommunication.Alanguageoflife"17Source:https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comunicaci%C3%B3n_no_violenta

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3.2.Therestorativeapproach

Mostschoolshaveanapproachbasedonthepunitivemanagementofconflictsandwithaminimumparticipationoffamiliesandstudentsingeneral.Alberti(2012)pointsoutthatmostresponsesmovebetweenapunitivemodelbasedonpunishmentandapermissivemodel,basedonnon-punishment.Therearestudiesthatshowthatpunishmentisnoteffective,andthat,often,thesituationworsens.Thepunitiveapproachnegativelyaffectstherelationshipbetween the punisher and the person punished, and teaches behavior based on theconsequence,whichdoesnotencouragereflectionorempowerment.Ontheotherhand,thepermissivemodel,withlowcontrolandhighsupport,tendstoprotectthepersonsothathedoesnotsuffertheconsequencesofhisactionsandisnotefficienteither.

Costelo(2011)presentstherestorativeapproachasanapproachthataddshighcontroltosetlimitsandsetexpectationsandthestrongsupportandmotivationforpeopletobesuccessfulandtomakepositivechanges.Hecomesfromtheideathatpeoplearemorelikelytomakechangeswhenfigures inpositionsofauthorityandpowerdothingswiththem, insteadofagainstthem(punitivemodel)orforthem(permissivemodel).

Khan says "I do not think the threat of jail is always effective in getting people to takeresponsibilityforthedamagetheyhavecaused.Inmanycases,mendenyhavingdoneharmtoavoidgoingtoprison.ThepenalsystemwouldnothaveaskedmewhatIneededtomoveforwardwithmylifeorhowthedamagehehadcausedmecouldberepaired.Inaddition,thepenalsystemdoesnotfocusonrehabilitationoronhelpingviolentpeopletorebuildtheirliveswithoutviolence.Forme,itdoesnotmakesense".18.Khansufferedpartnerabuseandlatershemetwithherex-partnertofindoutwhatsheneededtobeabletoturnthepageinthatstory.Thisisagoodpracticalexampleofwhattherestorativeapproachmeans.Insteadoffocusingonwhatrulehasbeeninfringed,identifytheculpritandspecifythepunishmentthatwillbeimposed,thenewapproachfocusesonthedamageandhowthepeopledirectlyandindirectlyinvolvedhavebeenaffected,seekingreparationandrestorationofthedamageandtherelationshipandfacilitatingthetakingofresponsibilitybytheaggressor.Responsibilityisemphasized at two levels, taking responsibility for the facts and becoming aware of theconsequences of their actions and taking responsibility for the solution (Alberti, 2012). Itfocusesonseeinghowthingscanbe fixedandmeeting the identifiedneeds to repair thedamage.Ithasacommunityfocus,sinceitpromotestheparticipationofthepeopledirectlyand indirectly involvedandaffected. It is alsoanapproach thatempowers, since it is the

18InterviewbyA.MahdawiinthedigitalnewspaperElDiarioaAttiyaKan,whomadethedocumentary"ABetterMan" from the interviews shedidwithherabusiveex-boyfriendhttp://www.eldiario.es/theguardian/Attiya-Khan-entrevisto-maltratador-documental_0_709029402.html)

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affectedpeoplewhodecidetheoutcomeoftheirownstoryandhowtomanagetheirownrecoveryprocess.

Ithasthreecentralideas:

• Repair of material damages and restoration of current symbolic damage andreductionoffutureones.Ittakesintoaccountthedamagetothevictim,totheaggressorandtothecommunity.

• Meetingbetweenthepartieswhocometogetheranddecideforthemselves.

• Transformation,causingprofoundchangesintheparticipants,relationshipsandthecommunity.

There aremultiple experiencesof restorative justice in environmentsof high conflict andcrimecasesandithasbeenobservedthatitseffectincreaseswhenitispartofthecommunitysystemandnotaspecificintervention.Thisapproachimpliesachangeofvision,andneedscommunityinvolvementtoapplyit.Studiesshowthatitreducesreoffence,beingevenmoreaffective when crime involves violence against people, it increases the well-being of thevictim,reducingthetraumaticeffectsofharmandthedesireforrevenge,anditincreasesthepossibilitiesofacceptingresponsibilityandtheabilitytolistentootherpointsofview(Rul.lan,2011).

Alberti(2012)observesthatfortherestorativemanagementofrelationshipsitisnecessaryto put into practice a series of skills such as active listening, assertive communication,empathy,creativethinking,etc.Theapproachincludesdifferentprocessesthatarebasedonvoluntaryandactiveparticipation.Sheproposesaprojectthatencouragesthepromotionofanappropriateclimatethatfavorscooperativeandpositiverelationshipsandthestructuralchanges necessary to avoid the causes of conflicts and the learning of the necessarycompetences that favor the absence of violence, disruptive behavior, ill-treatment andcriminalbehavior.

One of themain axes onwhich restorative practices pivot are the restorative questions.Zehr19hasdevelopedthebasicquestions,withtheinfluenceofRosenbergcomplimentedbyotherauthors.Alberti(2012)pointsoutthatthespecificquestionisnotasimportantastherelevanceofstructuringacommunicationwhere:allpointsofviewarevaluedandincluded,theexpressionofthoughts,emotionsandfeelingsarefacilitatedaswellastheconsiderationand empathy towards others, the needs of each party are identified and there is sharedresponsibilityindecisionmaking.

19Zheristheauthorofthebook"Changinglenses"that,in1990,conceptualizesforthefirsttime,therestorativeparadigm.

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Table1:Restorativethemesandquestions(Alberti,2012)

Themes Restorativequestions

1-Appreciationofandrespecttowardsindividualperspectives.

Whathappened?(accordingtoyourpointofview)

2-Thoughtsinfluenceemotions,emotionsinfluenceactions.

Whatdidyouthinkandhowdidyoufeelatthatmoment?Howhaveyoufeltandwhathaveyouthoughtsincethen?Howdoyoufeelandwhatdoyouthinknow?

3-Empathyandconsideration Whohasbeenaffectedandhow?

4-Appreciationofindividualneeds

Whatdoyouneedtobeabletomoveon,resolve...andfeelbetter?Whatdoyouneedtobeabletohealsothateveryonecanmoveon?

5-Sharedresponsibilityanddecisionmaking

Whatdoyouneedtohappennow?Howcanyourespondtotheneeds?Whatcanwedotoresolvethesituation?Howcanwesolvetotheseneedstogether?

3.3.TheWordCircles

InFila l'agullawenamethecirclesWordCirclesinordertodifferentiateourwayofusingthem,whichisessentiallybasedontheframeworkoftheProcessWork.AsIsaidbefore,ourmainsourceisthecouncilcirclesthathavetheiroriginintheindigenoustradition,however,wehavebeenandcontinuetobeincontactwiththecirclesandrestorativepracticesinordertobenourishedbytherestorativeapproach.

Forthisreason,mychallengeinthisworkhasbeentodescribewhatwedo,usingtheotherreferencesonlyassupport.Ontheotherhand,althoughwehavebeenusingcirclesforyears,theiruseinrelationtotheworkwithbullyingismorerecent,soitisalivingmethodologythatisalsouniqueineachintervention,sinceweadaptourselvesateverymomenttotheprocessofeachgroup.Thisworkservesnotonlytosystematizewhatwedobuttoadvancetheideas,andmostprobablyinwritingthemdownnewnuanceswillappearandbeincorporated.

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3.3.1.Theintention

There aremany types of circles andwhat differentiates them is their intention andmainobjective.Pranis20describesninetypologies:circlesofdiscussionordebate,tofacilitatetheunderstandingofafact,togivesupporttoaperson,tocreatecommunity(whoseobjectiveis to create links and relationships in the group), for conflict resolution, circles forreconciliation and the reintegration of peoplewho have been isolated, of celebration, ofhealinginaprocessoftraumaormourning(HealingCirclesorPeacemakingCirclesinEnglish)orof judgment (related tocriminalproceedings). In the90s,Barterdeveloped restorativecirclesthathavethedualintentionofcreatingcommunityandmanagingconflicts.(Alberti,2012)

InFilal'agullawehaveusedtheWordCircleswithdifferentintentions,butgiventhatourpresentwork focuseson intervention inbullying, Iwill focusonthecircleswedotoraiseawarenessinthisissue.Themainintentioninthiscaseistogiveavoicetothemarginalizedinformationofthegroup,tobecomeawareoflessknownaspectsandfollowtheprocessofthegroup.Thefollowingpointsdescribemorethoroughlythedifferentgoals:

1- Getting toknoweachotherbetterandexpanding the identityof thegroup:WordCircleofferstheopportunitytorevealmoremarginalizedandunknownaspectsofthegroup, aspects that have to do with their secondary identity. For example, theexpression of less visible and recognized emotions, personal experiences, lesscommon or less socially permitted preferences or interests, sensations, dreams,familystories,etc.

Whenthegroupbecomesawareofthisinformation,itallowsforanexpansionoftheidentityofthegroupinthewayinwhichitidentifiesitself.

Itisaprocessthataffectsbothpeopleandrelationships,aswellasthegroup.

2- Embracingdiversity:WordCirclealsocontributestoachange intheperspectiveofdiversityandallowsustorecognizehowallthepartiescontributetothefunctioningofthesystem.Oneofthechallengesinthemanagementofconflictsandrelationshipsistoappreciatethe"other"assomethingsignificantandvaluable.WordCircleallowsyoutoobservediversityanddifferenceaspartofthewhole,andinvitesyoutolearnsomethingfromit.Ithelpscultivateanattitudethatincludesandrecognizesthepointsofviewofallitsmembers.

3- Processingtheconflicttoapproachthemyth:behindeachareaoftensionandconflict,behindeachgroupandgroupidentitythereisadream,avisionormythtryingtobelived,theconscienceandthesenseofwhichemergewhenthegroupaddressesand

20Pranis,K.(2005).TheLittleBookofCircleProcesses.Anew/OldApproachtoPeacemaking.Intercourse,PA,USA:GoodBooks.

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processes their issues. The new consciousness often arises through annoyances,conflicts,relationalproblemsandglobalissues.Beingabletoworkwiththesetensionstoexplorethemprovidesthemeansbywhichthedreamprocesscanemerge(Rose,2009)Processingtheconflictimpliesawarenessofthedamageandthepeoplewhofeel it,andfacilitateprocessesoftakingresponsibility,sothatthepeopleaffected,whether victims, aggressors or witnesses, can propose processes of reparation ofdamageandrestorationofrelations.

4- Creatingcommunity:Mindell(2004)saysthatconflictisthemostdirectwaytocreatecommunity - when negotiating conflict relationships deepen and a sense ofcommunityiscreated.Peckmentionsthattheessentialkeyistoappreciatethedifferencesandtheabilitytobeabletoseethesufferingandthedeepcomponentsofallinvolved.Hesaysthattheabilitytobehurtbythewoundsofotherscreatesafeelingofsharingandcommunity.(Rose,2009).Theunderstandingthatsomethingissharedcreatescommunion.Peoplesharewhathappens to them, theydonot feel so alonewhen they see that other people canunderstand their experiences or share them. This breaks isolation, alienation andnegative self-judgment (Rose, 2009). Through the Word Circle, they can feel thesupportofthegroup.

5- Developingsocial, relationalandpersonal skills: talkingaboutpersonalexperience,sharingemotions, sensations,experiences, thoughtsandbeliefsnurturesempathy,listening,connectionwithpowerandotherimportantlifeskills.Beingabletoshareemotionsandfeelingsforgestherelationshipsinthegroup.

3.3.2.Howdoesitwork

TheWordCircleshavethefollowingbasicelements:

- Thecircle: thewholegroup, includingthe facilitatorsandteachers (if theywanttoparticipate)sitonchairsinacircle.Sittinginacircle,everyonecanhavevisualcontactwitheachother,helping tobuilda senseof trust, securityandequalitywithin thegroup.

- The center: usually empty of objects. You can put some aesthetic object or arepresentationofsomethingthatthegroupvalues.

- Atalkingpiece:somethingthat'susedtosignalwho'sturnitistoexpressthemselvesinwordsor in silence.Dependingon thegroupand the intention this couldbeanobjectofthegroup,ofaparticipantorofthepersonwhofacilitates.Youcanhaveeachpersonbringanimportantpersonalobjectandmakeafocuspointwithallthe

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objects.OftentheWordCircleispresentedexplainingtheimportanceoftheobject,thiscreatesaclimatethatencouragesexpressionondreamland.

- Thequestion:aquestionoraproposalgivesfocusintentiontothecircle.- Oneortwopeoplefacilitate:theypresentthecircle, itspurposeandhowitworks.

Theyinterveneduringtheprocessfacilitatingthedialoguebetweenthepeopleandtherolesthatarepresent.Sometimestheyalsointerveneexpressingmoredifficultroles,ghostroles,presentinthedynamicsbutthatnobodyisexpressing.

These elements are the pack that facilitate expression and listening to ideas, positions,feelingsandemotions.

Thedynamicisposedasaceremony,asaritual.Thishelpstocreateacertainatmosphereinthe group that encourages people to connect and communicate on more personal andemotionallevels,aswellasthemoremarginalizedaspectsofthegroupbeingabletoexpressthemselves.

Participationisvoluntaryandeachpersondecideswhethertheywanttospeakornot.

3.3.3.Principles

Anymethodology andway of working is based on beliefs that define the principles thatorientatetheaction.InourcasethesearemainlybasedontheperspectiveofProcessWorkandwecouldsummarizetheminthefollowingway:

- DeepDemocracy:abasicprinciplethatisbasedonrecognizingandgivingvaluetotheexpressionofallparties,experiencesandroles.Themostdifficultaspectstorecognizearethosethataremarginalizedinthegroup,thosewhichwedon'tidentifywith,forexampletheexpressionofemotionssuchassadness,anger,frustrationorexperiencessuchasloneliness,nothavingfriends,orbehaviorslikehurtingwithinsults, leavingpeopleout,etc.Thesearemoredifficulttorecognizebecausethereisabeliefsystemthatgoesagainstthem,andthisiswhyitisimportanttobeawareofthesebeliefsandbeable to transform them,whennecessary,witha view that includesandvaluesdiversity.Theprincipleofdeepdemocracyisbasedontheideathatinallexperiencesthere may be something useful that can help in the development of the person,relationshipandgroup.

- Systemic view: the group is composed of people and their personal experiences,relationships,affinitysubgroupsandalsobyroles.Thisviewallowsustorecognizethat theexperiences in thegrouparenotonlypersonal, theyalsohaveasystemic

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dimensionthathastodowiththegroupitself.Therefore, it isnotnecessaryforallpeopletoexpressthemselves,butwetrytoexpresstheroles.

- Changing thepositioningof the roleof the teacher: inWordCircle,everyone talksabouttheirownpersonalexperiencesandthistemporarilychangesthedynamicsofpower in the sense that the person-person dimension has more weight than thestudent-teacherdimension.Theteacherbecomesanotherpersoninthegroupwhohasherownexperiencesandemotionsandisinvitedtoshareonapersonallevelandspeakfromthatplace.

- Restorative approach: this involves a newperspective to focus the resolutionof aconflictbasedonthefoundationsofrestorativejustice:

- Notonlythepersonintheroleofvictimisaffected,allpeoplecanbeaffectedindifferentways.Itisaboutknowingwhichpeoplehavebeenaffectedandinwhatway.

- Knowingthedamage,knowingwhatisthemostdifficultforeachpersonandwhattheirneedsare.

- Thesharedresponsibilityindecisionmaking.Itisthepeoplethemselveswhoputforwardproposalsfortherestorationandrepairofthedamageandtherelationship, and they commit themselves to it. Proposals come fromharmdoneandneeds.

3.3.4.Theroleoffacilitation

Facilitationhasseveralfunctions:

• IntroducetheWordCircleandhowitworks.

• Focusitfromaquestion,acknowledgingthecontributionsthatariseandrefocusingwhennecessary.

• Guidingwithyourbehavior,attitudeandwayofexpressingyourself.Often,webeginbyansweringthequestionswe'vejustputtothegroup.

• Facilitate theexpressionof thedifferentpointsof viewand thedialoguebetweenthem.

Weareusuallytwopeoplefacilitating.Thisenablesustorepresentandsupportthediversityof rolesandexperiencesandsupporteachother, togo to theessenceof the roleweareexpressing.

Facilitatingfromthisperspectiveimpliesachangeofapproachforthegroup,therelationshipsandforoneself.Aswehavesaidbeforewearepartofthesystem,weaffectitanditaffects

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us,soitisessentialtodopersonalwork,gettoknowoneself,realizehowtheissueaffectsyou,whatexperiences,attitudesorbehaviorsaremoredifficult foryou,etc.Thishelpstohavemoreawarenessandgainperspective,tobeabletorealizewhenwearereacting,whenwearepolarizedinarole,whenwefeelanemotion,etc.andbeabletousethatinformationinawaythatcanbeusefulforthegroupprocess.

Mindell(1995)realizedthatthecentralingredientoffacilitationistheskillsandattitudeswithwhichweworkandshecalledthesemetaskills.Theterm"meta”impliesanexternalpointofviewfromwhichweareabletoobservewhatweareexperiencing,whatfeelingsoccurateachmomentandtobeabletousethesefeelingsandattitudesfortheserviceofthegroupprocess.Thefocusisonitsconscioususe,itisaheartfeltattitudethatconnectsuswithourintentions,dreamsanddeepmotivations.

SomeofthekeymetaskillsforfacilitatingtheWordCircleare:

- Curiosity:itiskeytobeabletoexpressthediversityofexperiences,especiallythosemostmarginalized. Being curious implies having an interest in the known and theunknown,isanappreciativefocusthatfacilitatestheexpressionofdiversity.

- Compassion:thisisrelatedtotheprincipleofdeepdemocracyandhastodowiththeopenness to different experiences, knowing that they are aspects of ourselves.Mindell(1995)alsopointsoutthatcompassioninvolveshelpingallpartiesopenoutandrevealtheiressentialnatureandmeaning.

- Theartofbeinginsideandoutside:tofeelasbeingpartandhaveenoughperspectiveto be able to realizewhere you are and therefore facilitate and accompanyotherpositionsandroles.Itisthemetaskillthathelpsustobepresentindifficultsituations,feelingtheheatwithoutbeingburned.Anditalsohelpstobeabletoshareyourownemotionandexperiencewiththecertaintythatitcanbeusefulforthegroupprocess.

3.4.WordCirclesandbullying

HavingpresentedtheoriginoftheWordCirclesandhowtheywork,inthissectionIfocusonrelatingthetheoryofbullyingexplainedfromProcessWorkandtheuseoftheWordCircleasa tool towork on relationships in the classroom and the prevention of and attention tobullying.

Mostoftheexamplescitedcorrespondtoactivitiescarriedoutduringtheschoolyear2017-2018andmainlyatSchool“M”.Thishasbeenaprojectthatwehaveco-facilitatedwithSaraCarro,partnerofFilal'agullaandcolleague,forthisreasonhernameisquotedinmorethanonecaseintheexamplesdescribed.Thevoicerecordingsoftheworkshopshavebeenvery

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useful to be able to review the interventions made and thus be more thorough in thedescriptions.21.

3.4.1.ThegroupanditsprocessintheWordCircle

TheWordCircleistheopportunitytorelatetothecultureandidentityofthegroup.Tobeabletoappreciatetheprimaryidentity,tochallengeitandfocusonmoremarginalizedandunknownaspects.Onewaywedothisisbybringingourexperiencetothegroup,appreciatingsomeaspectthatwelike,andnamingsomethingwedidnotlike.Or,withquestionstothegroupsuchas"Namesomethingthatyoulikeormakesyoufeelgoodaboutthisgroupandsomethingthatdoesnot."

When the secondary process of the group is present, attention increases and everyonebecomesmorepresentwithwhat ishappeninginthatmoment.Often,previously,wecannoticesignsofedge-laughter,comments,peoplewhomoverestlesslyintheirchairs.

3.4.2.TheWordCircleasatool to identifythedynamicsofdiscrimination,violenceandbullyingInthesecondchapterIsaidthatachallengeintheeducationalcommunityistomakethiskindofdynamicvisible.TheWordCircleisatoolthatallowsustobreakboundariesintalkingaboutdifficultthingsandexpressingthesetypeofsituations.Tofacilitatethis,weusuallydopreviousactivitiesthatintroducetheissueindirectly,throughstories,dilemmasordramaticpretexts.Oncethesubjectispresentwedothecircle,openingitinapersonalway.Sometimesasfacilitatorsweofferourownpersonalexperiences,andsometimeswetalkaboutwhatwefeelorhavefeltinthegroupandthishelpsotherpeoplesharetheirownexperiences.

InaBarberàsecondaryschool,inagroupofteenagerswithspecialeducationalneedsof3rdofESO(14-15yearsold),wedidacoupleofsessionstoworkonsituationsofdiscriminationintheclassandworkonempathy.Theseconddaythethemefocusedonexclusionandaftersomepreviousdynamicstoreflectonpowerinthegroupandthestrengthofthegroupasopposedtothefeelingofbeingmarginalizedorseparated,wemadeaWordCircle.Istarted,andtoldmyownstoryofmychildhood,vergingontears,thenmypartnerfromFilal'agullafollowed,tellingherstory,inhercaseintheroleofaggressor,ofwhenshetriedtoapologizetoafriendthatshehadpickedonforalongtime,andwhodidnotacceptherapologyany

21InòpiahasbeenrecordingalltheinterventionsinworkshopsandtrainingsessionswiththeteachersofSchoolM.andIwanttothankthemfortheirwork,becauseithasbeenveryusefultohavethismaterial.

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more.Laterotherpeoplesharedtheirexperiencesasvictimsand/orasaggressors,inpastandpresentsituations,expressingtheirsufferinginbothpositions.

3.4.3.Therelationshipwiththe3levelsofreality

In point 2.2. I mentioned the importance of being able to value dreamland and moresubjectiveexperiences,sinceconsensusrealityisoftenusedtomeasurereality,marginalizingother experiences. TheWordCircle is an invitation to express oneselfwith emotions andexperiencesthataremorepersonal,tobringthesubjectiveworldmoreintoplayandtobeabletogiveitvalue.

Inaddition,theritualelementandtheWordCirclehelpustoconnectwithothertypesofexperiences suchas theopportunity to live as a groupat theessence level andhave thefeelingthatweareonewiththegroup.

Continuingwiththepreviousexample,inthesecondworkshopweaskedhowithadgoneandiftheyhadnoticedanychangeorwhattheyhadgotfromthepreviousday.Theysaidthatithadbeenusefultocreateafeelingofunityinthegroup,butthatthenonadaytodayleveleverythingwentbacktonormal.DuringtheWordCircle,onthefirstday,averypotentspaceforsharingandlisteningwasgenerated,wheremostpeopletalkedatapersonallevelabouthow they felt in the group andmany of them thanked each other for the support theyreceived. It was very emotional, several boys and girls were crying, and there was fullattention. They experimented the essence level as a group, and then in their day to dayexperienceagainfromtheconsensusreality.Onthesecondday,theywereeagertorelivethatexperienceofunion,butatthesametimetherewasrestrainttoreopeningonapersonallevel,toreconnectwiththevulnerabilityandtocry.Weremindedthemabouttheirfreedomtospeakornot,theimportanceoftakingcareofeachotherandwemadeanewWordCircle.Onthisoccasion,fewerpeoplespokeanditwasalsoemotionalandrestorative.

3.4.4.Kidsalsocry:theexpressionofemotions

Duringthe2017-2018schoolyear,wereceivedacoupleofcriticismsfromtwofamiliesfromtwodifferentschools,whosaidsomethinglike"wemakechildrencry,aftertheworkshoptheyaresadandthiscannotbeapositiveresult".Thishashelpedmetorealizetheprincipalaspectofthisissue,thatwhatwedoiscounter-cultural,sinceinthemajorityculturecryingisseenas theexpressionof anegativeemotionwhichmustbe suppressed, thushighlighting the

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importanceofsharingourstanceandwayofworkingwiththeentireeducationalcommunity,includingfamilies.

Basedontheprincipleofdeepdemocracy,allemotionsarevaluable,andexpressdifferenthuman experiences that are and have the potential to be useful for the development ofpeople,relationshipsandgroups.Cryingmaybeexpressingsadness,pain,suffering,shock,emotionandmayevenbeawayofexpressingempathy.

Inaworkshopinthe5thgrade(10-11yearsold)ofM.schoolinaWordCircleweencouragedthegrouptoshedlightonandbemoreawareofthediscriminationdynamicagirlwashaving,echoingwhatsheexpressedandgivingvoicetotherolesheexpressed.Afterthattherewasachangeofatmosphereandsomepeoplestartedcrying.Someofthemspoke,andotherschosenotto.Irememberachildwhosaidhewasverysorryforwhathehadheardandthathealsofeltlonelyattimes.Afterthatworkshop,somepeoplelefttheclassstillaffected,andit is true thatwedidn'taccompanythe families in finding theirchildren in thatstate.Thecriticismhelpedustogainawarenessoftheimpactofwhatwedo,totakemoreaccountoftherelationshipwiththegroup'stutorandfamilies.Afterthiswewrotealettertoinformthefamiliesoftheschoolabouttheprojectandwetalkedwiththetutorsbothtofollowupandseehowthechildrenweredoing,andtosharewhatwe'dlearntwiththosethathadexpressedthecriticism.

InanycaseIdon'tthinkthatexpressingsadnesscauseschildrentodwellonit,asMenken(2013)alsosays,childrenaremorefluidintheirfeelingsthanadults.Andcryingisonlytheexpressionofanemotion,andwhatmakesthemfeelsadisnotthecryingbutwhatcausesthatcrying,anditwon'tbetransformedbytryingtomakeitdisappear,butbeingawareofit,ofthatattitudeandbehaviorthathurts.ThatwasaFriday,andthefollowingweek,whenwehadtogobacktodoaworkshopinthegroup,somepeoplecamewithpersonalitemslikestuffed animals, to feel more comfortable in the space of the Word Circle. They had"prepared" themselves for the occasion, perhaps even one of them would name theworkshopasthespacetocry.Inthepresentationtheteacher,awareofthecriticismthatoneofthefamiliesofthatgrouphadmade,askedusifwe"hadcometotheclasstomakethemcry".Wereturnedthequestiontothegroupandtwochildrenresponded.Onesaid"No,itwastoaddressissuesofdiscrimination."Andtheothersaidthat"Weweregoingtotalkaboutrelationshipstoknowhowothersarefeeling,andthatsometimestherearepeoplewhogetemotional,especiallybecauseyouputyourselfintheskinoftheotherperson."

It is common thatwhen there have been several people crying in aworkshop,whenwereturn,eventhoughayearhaspassed,itisoneofthethingsthattheyrememberthemost,andsomepeopleevenprepareforit.Itisinteresting,aschildrencomewillinglytothat,asifthere is something attractive and interesting about it, while some adults look at it withsuspicion.

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3.4.5.TheexpressionofemotionsintheWordCircle

WorkingintheWordCircleallowstheexpressionofdifferentemotions.Normallytherearecertain emotionsmoremarginalized in groups, suchas theexpressionof anger and rage,sadness,pain,emotionalcrying,frustration,etc.Inthosemoments,weusuallystoptopayattentiontowhatishappening,becausethereareusuallysignsofboundariesonthepartofthepersonandthegroup,andframingthemhelpstofacilitatetheirexpressionandwelcomethem.

A teacherof thirdgrade (8-9yearsold children) fromM. school,uponentering theclass,greetedeachpersononebyonewiththeirspecialgreeting,whicheachonehadchosen.Sheworkedalotonrelationshipsintheclassroom,andindividualizedworkwitheachperson.Thisgroupwasquitecohesiveandtherewasaverygoodrelationshipwiththeteacher.WestartedtheWordCircle,invitingseveralpeopletobringtheirimportantpersonalobjectstodotheritual.Whenitwastheteacher'sturn,astudentasked"Areyoucrying?"andshereplied"No,sweetheart",andanothercommentedtothegroup"She'sredwithemotion".Severalpeopleweremovingrestlessly intheirchairs,anedgesignal, theteacherwasnotusedtogettingemotionalandrevealingherselftothegroup–itwassecondaryforherandforthegroup-andshedeniedherexperiencebecauseitwasdifficultforhertohavetheattentionofthegroupat thatmoment. Inthatcase,we intervened,supportingemotionalexpression,andsaying "If someone turns red or gets emotional it's okay, it's good for them to expressthemselves,andithelpsifwedon'tmakecomments"andweinvitedthegrouptoreflectonthis-"Whenwecreateaspaceforemotions,canwethinkaboutwhathelpspeopletofeelsafewithwhattheyarefeeling?"TheWordCirclebeganwiththequestion"Howdoyoufeelinthisgroup?"andseveralchildrenspokeappreciatingthepeoplewhosupportedthemindifficulttimes,valuingclassmatesandtheirabilitiesandespeciallyvaluingherteacher.Whenherturncame,shewasveryemotionalandpassedontheobjectwithoutwantingtotalk,andweintervenedbypausingthatmomenttomakesureifshewantedtoputwordstowhatshewas feeling. A student came over to hug her, she did not want to talk, and the Circlecontinued.Thegroupwasrestlessandseveralpeoplegotuptogotothebathroom.Saraasked"what'sgoingon?",towhichagirlsaid,"Idon'twanttoseeanyoneelsecryinganymore,becauseif IseesomeoneelseI ...". Intheend,theteacherspokeandexpressedwhatwasgoingonforher.Shesaidthatithadbeenatenseanddifficultweekforher,andthatlisteningtobeautiful things they saidmadeher very touched, and that shewashappyanddeeplygrateful.Herfearordifficultywasthattheycaredabouther.Thiswasthelimitingbelief.Ourwayoffacilitatingthesituationwastoframewhatwashappening,welcomingtheexpressionofthesecondaryprocess,withoutforcingit,sothattheteacherfeltfreetoexpressornot,whatshewasfeeling.Infact,itwasnotuntilthesecondroundthatsheexplainedhowshefelt.

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Cryinginthatgroupwasmarginalizedandpartofthesecondaryprocess,whetherthismeantexpressingahappyorsademotion.Withthatexperience,theylearnedthatcryingcanexpressmanydifferentemotions.However,inthisexampleyoucanseetheprocessofthegroupasacontinuum,atthemomentinwhichtheteacherjumpedtheedgetobeabletoexpressthecryingconnectedwithemotionandjoy,anotherpersonfromthegroupjumpedtheedgetoexpressher sadness in thegroup, somethingevenmore secondary.Although shedidnotshare her experience, because of conversationswith the teacher,we knew that shewasexpressing something that was happening to her and was hurting her. It was quite anexperience,tobeabletofinishtheworkshopwithsomepeoplecryingandshowingsupportamongst themselves. The workshop ended with hugs and expressions of affection.AsDiamond(2016)says,itisimportanttoembracelowrankandvulnerability.Learningthishelps emotional and social development and empathy, and facilitates empowerment andconnectionwithpersonalpower.

3.4.6.Theroleshiftoftheteacherandtheadult

In theWordCircle, rolesandpowerdynamicschange,and this canbeanopportunity forteachers to open up on a personal level and express themselves as one of the group,momentarilylettinggooftheircontextualroleasteachersandallowingstudentstobemovedwiththeirmostpersonalstoriesandshowsupport,asseeninthepreviousexample.Thisalsofacilitatesthechangeoftheroleofstudentswhogofrombeingintheroleofwhoneeds,tobewhosupports.

Theroleofteacherhasassociatedthecontextualrank.Beingtheonewhoholdsthatkindofpower,whattheteachershowsisamodelforthegroupandbecomesareferencetofollow.Thattheteachershowsherpersonal life,hervulnerabilityandheremotions,teachesthatadultsalsofeelthatwaysometimes.Itisawaytoembracethelowrankofthoseexperiencesthatmakeusfeelvulnerableandneedy,awaytocultivatepersonalpower.

Also,fromaroleperspective,itisinterestingtocultivatefluidityandseethatallpeoplearemorethanarole.Therefore,theroleofbeingtheonewhoneedssupportcannotonlybeoccupiedbychildren,butalsoadultsand teachers sometimes feel thatway,momentarilyoccupyingthisrole,withoutnecessarilylosingtheircontextualroleasteachers.Thismeansachange in the belief system of what it means to be a teacher.Oftenweasfacilitatorsalsomodel,showingourownvulnerabilityandsensitivity,cryinginthegroupwithourownexperiencesandtheirs.

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4.7.Multilevelintervention

TheworkwiththeWordCircleisatypeofmultilevelintervention,whichallowsworkingwithpeople,relationshipsinthegroupandalsoatthegrouplevel.

1. Individual:sometimesweintervenewithpeopletobringmoreawarenesstowhethertheywanttospeakornot,oralsotoreinforcetheirattitudes,actions,tastes,waysofbeingoraspectsthataremarginalizedandcriticizedbythegroup.Wealsointerveneatthislevelonoccasionstocompensatefortheintrojectionoftheguiltthathappensinaprocessoflong-termvictimizationtomakethemawarethattheyarenotguiltyofwhathappenstothem,toaskfortheirforgivenessandvaluewhotheyare.Inagroupof6th(11-12years)intheM.schoolafteranactivitywherewetalkedaboutexclusion,wemadeaWordCirclesothattheycouldsharetheirexperiencesonthesubject,inoneofthethreeroles.Onegirlspokeandsaidthatsometimesshefeltexcludedfromgroupsofgirlsbecauseshedidnotliketotalksomuch,butratherlikedtoplayfootballanddraw.Althoughtheydidn'ttellherexplicitlythatshecouldnotbewiththem,thatis,therewasnoexclusionatthelevelofconsensusreality,hersubjectiveexperience,indreamland,wasdifferent.Shewasaracialized22girlwithdifferentintereststhantherestofthegirls intheclass.Forthisreason, itwasespecially importanttogivespace and reiteratewhat happened next. One boy said that shewas a very goodgoalkeeperandanothergirlagreedwithhim,sayingthatshewasalsoactiveandthattheyplayedmovingalot,somethingthatshewascriticizingherself.Thisencouragedherandmadeherfeelbetter.

2. Relationships: at other times,there are people in the Word Circle who addressanotherperson,inthiscase,withtheirpermission,wefacilitateadialogue.Inaclassof2ndgradeinM.schooltherewasa7yearsoldboywhowashavingdifficultiesinthegroup.Hewantedtoplaywiththeotherchildrenandespeciallywithoneofthemwhowasmoreofaleader,butthisboycontinuallybulliedhimandusedopportunitiestopointoutthethingshedidwrong. Intheworkshop,thishappenedandwetookadvantageofthesituationtovoicetheunderlyingsituation,showingtheangeronthepartofthemarginalizedchildwhoalwaysreceivedthecriticismandsupportingthechildwhowasmoreofaleader,sothathewouldbemoreawareoftheimpactofhisact.SaraandIplayedouttheirroles,voicingwhatwashappening,verifyingwiththem,andtheynoddedifwediditright.Intheinteraction,Saranamedtheangeroffeelingsingledoutbytheotherboy,andthedesiretoplaywithhimandInamed,fromthesideoftheleaderchild,thedifficultyofbeingsadandfeelingbadandthataneasy

22We speakof a "racialized"person as someonewho is seen andperceived contextually as belonging to aminority racewith less social rank.And race isunderstoodas ahistorical social construct. Therefore, it is ahierarchicalsocialperspectivethatracializespeople.

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wayofdealingwithitwastodomuckaround.Neitherofthemspoke,theyjustlookedatus,betweenthem,andnodded.Andwhiletheattentionwasonsomethingelse,theleaderchildtookanewspapertotheother,sharingajokewithhim,andthatwasa significant sign of reaching out,whichmarked a change in hismood. It was hispeculiaranduniquewayofaskingforforgivenessandgettingcloser,inthemoment.

3. Group: other times it is expressed at a more group level, or rather, we take thedynamicstothatleveltobeabletogivedepthtothesubjectthatisbeingtreated.Inagroupof5º(10-11yearolds)inM.school,wemadeaWordCircletofindoutabouttheirplaydynamicsintheplaygroundandaboyaskedagroupofgirlswhytheytoldhimtoleavethemalonewhenhewantedplaywiththem.Inthiscase,theinteractionbeganattherelationallevel,andwefacilitatedthedialoguebetweenthethreegirlsandtheboy,butsinceitwasnotgettingmuchdeeper,weinvitedotherpeoplefromthegrouptoparticipate,askingthemifanysimilarsituationhadhappenedtothem.Anothergirltoldtheboythatshetoldhimtogoawaybecausesometimesheupsetthemand then the gameendedbadly.He recognized a little that that sometimeshappened,andthathehadoncecalledthemnames.Theunderlyingthemehadtodowiththeaffinitysubgroups,iftheycouldchoosewhotheywantedtobewithandthetendencyornot toplaywith thesamepeople.Since thesubjectwasona rolewedecidedtorefocusitandaskhowtheyfelt inrelationtotheclassgroups.Thefirstpersontorespondsaidthathewouldlikeittobelikewhentheywereyoungerandtheyallplayedtogether.Thedifferentinterventionsshowedthattherewasadesiretoplaymorewiththewholeclass,andthatthedifficultyofdealingwiththeproblemsthatarosemadethemchoosetheaffinitysubgroups,wheretheyunderstoodeachotherbetter.Intheend,theycameupwiththeproposalthatonedaythewholeclasswouldplayagametogetherandthenevaluatewiththetutorhowtheexperiencehadbeen.

3.4.8.Workingwiththeroleoftheaggressor

Theroleoftheaggressor isamoresecondaryrole, inthesensethat it ismoredifficulttoidentifywithit,todoharmislookeddownon,somuchthatitmakesitdifficulttoadmitit.Whenyourealizeit,youfeeldeepshame,andit iseasiertorunawaythantofaceit. Inaworkshopin3rd(14-15years)oftheESO,inBarberàdelVallès,anexamplethatImentionedearlier,therewasagirlcryingrememberingmomentswhereshehadbeenanaggressor. Iwasthinkingaboutsituationsinthatclass,andalthoughweinvitedhertosaysomethingmoreconcreteatthetime,shewasunabletodoso.Itwastoomuch,atthatmoment,topushthatboundary,acceptbeinganaggressorinfrontofthegroup,andapologizeinpublic.

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Inanotherworkshopwitha5thgradegroup(10-11years)fromthesametown,theycalledus to intervene in a bullying dynamic. Therewas a childwhowas receiving psychologicalmonitoringandwhostatedthathefeltverybadatschool.Theheadteacherandthetutorwereputtinga lotoffocusonthesituation.Thetutorsaidthatshedidnotobservethesedynamicsofexclusionwhenshewaspresentanddidn'treallyknowwhattodo.Inthesecondworkshopwiththisgroup,inadynamicaboutbullyingweidentifiedthedifferentrolesandthepersonintheroleofvictimspokeandsaidthatithelpedhimtofeelbetterwhenhefeltthesupportofhisfriends.Thecornerwhereweputtheroleoftheaggressorwasemptyuntilachildwentthere,andwithtearsinhiseyessaidthatwhenhebehavioredlikethathefeltstrong and important and felt bad for that. As we were already talking about personalexperiences,wewenttotheWordCircleandthequestionwas"Howdoyoufeel,whathelpsyoutofeelbetterandistheresomethingyoucoulddotomakethepeopleinthisclassfeelbetter?".Thepersonwhofeltvictimizedstartedtalkingabouthisexperienceandsittingnexttohimweretheboysofthatclasswhoweremoreinthepositionofaggressororwitness.Theystartedtalkingoneaftertheother,cryingandapologizingforleavinghimout,whentheyhadbeenfriendsbefore,forhavingmadedisparagingcomments,forthrowinghispersonalbelongings ... It was very emotional, then other people shared their own experiences asvictimsor"baddies",asonegirlsaid,andtheyrecognizedthedamagedonetootherpeopleinthegroup.Inthiscase,theboundarywaspushedpreciselybyoneofthepeopleintheroleofaggressor,whowithhissensitivitywasabletoovercometheshameandtalkaboutit.Heexpressed fear of suffering as a victim when he went to ESO (Compulsory SecondaryEducation).

3.4.9.Workingonempathyandtheroleofthewitness

Inaworkshopof5º(10-11years)inMSchool,wemadeaWordCircleandinthefirstroundtheyexpressedhowtheyfeltinthegroup.Themajoritysaidthatitwasgood,andtheyrelatedittohavingfriendsandmakingaffinitygroups,butonepersonsaidthatshefeltsadbecauseshedidnothavemanyfriends.WhenitwasmyturnIwasemotional,IfeltsadandIsharedhowIfeltandhowitremindedmeofmyownexperienceinschool.

Wedecidedtodoasecondround,wherewewouldputemphasisontheroleofthewitness,invitingthemtosaywhattheyfeltwhentheyheardthedifferentexperiencesintheclass.Thequestionwas"Howisitforyoutolistentothesedifferentexperiencesinclass,tohaveornottohavefriends,andwiththisinmindhowdoyoufeel,howdoyouseeitandwhatdoyouthinkyoucando?". Inthatround,therewasmorethanonepersonwhocried,sothenwestopped talking for a while and several others approached them and hugged them and

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showedtheirsupport.Whenhecouldspeak,oneofthemsaidsobbingthathewasverysorrytoseethattherewassomeoneintheclasswhohadnofriends.Attheendofthecircle,Saragavevoicetotheroleofthevictimandsaid"We'regoingtostopdoingthisandIdon'tthinkI'mgoingtohaverelationshipsthatmakemefeelgoodbuttoseethatthisaffectsothershelpsme...,butalsoIwouldlikedifferentthingstohappen,althoughIknowit'snoteasy."

Understanding that anyone can assume any of the roles supports the development ofcompassiontowardsothers,andthat'swhathappenedinthatworkshop.Thechallengeinsuchcasesistocontinueworkingwiththegroupsothattheycanalsooccupyanactiverole,andmovefrompassivewitnesstopeoplewhoacttochangesituationsthataffectthem.

3.4.10.Workingwiththeroleofthevictim

Followingthepreviouscase,Saratoldthepersonwhohadexpressednothavingfriends"Thefactthatyoudon'thavefriendsnow,it'snotyourfaultandithasnothingtodowiththingsyou'vedone in thepast ... It'snotyour fault". It is common thatwhensomeone is in thissituation,theyfeelguiltyandresponsibleforwhatishappeningtothem,withouttakingintoaccountthesocialandgroupdimension,thisistheintrojectionoftheguiltthatwasdiscussedinchapter2.Forthisreason,givingmessagesofthistypeisimportanttoworktheintrapsychicdimension and relate to that internal critic that affects the self-esteem of the person.Inthisworkshopmanypeopleprobablyconnectedwiththeirownloneliness inthegroup,feelingmomentarilyintheroleofthevictim,whoisseparatedorexcludedfromthegroup.Thatmovedthemdeeply.

Anotherimportantaspectistorelatetotheotherdimensionsofthatperson,notonlywithhisroleasvictim,butalsotofacilitatehisownconnectionwithpower. InaSantaColomaschool,therewasachildwhotheycalledgayboybecausehedancedandhungoutwiththegirlsintheyard,andtheinterventioninthatcasewas"Thankyouverymuchfordoingwhatyouliketodo.Thisisoneofthemostimportantthingsinlifeandthisclasshavealottolearnfrompeoplewhodowhattheywanttodo"23Thechilddidn'tsayanything,hejustnoddedsilentlyandtheroundoftheWordCirclefollowed.

23Thisinterventionisrecordedandarchivedinthevideo"Filal'agulla.Coeducationprojectinschools"of2016.Thisrecordingisnotavailabletothepublicandisonlyusedforeducationalpurposes.

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3.4.11.Roles,powerdynamicsandroleshift

ThedynamicsoftheWordCircleallowsustoworkatasystemiclevel,aswehaveseeninthepreviousexamples,workingthedynamicsofbullyinginthedifferentroles.Basedonwhatismanifested in each group, questions or interventions are chosen that help to put moreawareness into what is becoming visible, allowing the roles to change momentarily. Forexample,whenapersonintheroleofaggressorstartscryingrealizingthedamagehehasdone,hechangesrole,movingthroughtheroleofwitnessthatobservesthedamageheisdoingtoanotherperson,totheroleofvictimthatsuffersfromaninternalcriticwhosays"Youhavedonewrong,youhavehurtsomeone".

Inaddition,theWordCircleisaspacethatalsoallowsthequestioningofthegroup'sbeliefsystem, which encourages certain attitudes or actions to be more valued than others,momentarilyquestioningthegroup'scontextualpower.ThepreviousmentionoftheSantaColomaschoolisanexampleofhowthisisdone.

3.4.12.RelationshipwiththeGroupProcessmethodology

BoththeWordCircleandtheGroupProcessaremethodologiesthatservetodiscussissuesofinteresttothegroup,inwhichthereisadiversityofopinionsandexperiences.AGroupProcessisaProcessWorkmethodologythatischaracterizedbystartingtoworkonthetopicatasystemiclevel,presentingtwopolarizedrolesinspace,oneinfrontoftheother.Peopleareplacedinspace,inoneofthetwopositionsoraround,accordingtowhethertheywanttoexpresssomethingfromaroleorfeelandnoticeonepositionoranotherandcanmovefreely through spacewhenever theywant. Inboth cases, therearepeoplewho facilitate,framingwhathappens,representingaroleorfacilitatingdialogueandinteraction.

OneofthemaindifferencesbetweenbothmethodologiesisthatintheWordCirclethereisawordorder,everyoneisinacircle,andtheycanonlyspeakiftheyhavethe“wordobject”.On theotherhand, inaGroupProcess,whoever speaksoccupiesaposition in the space,withoutanestablishedorderorturnsfortalking.

In4thgradegroupoftheMschool inthepresentationoftheworkshop,a9years-oldgirlbroughtupthesubjectoftheuseofspaceintheyard,commentingthat80%oftheyardwasused only by 20% of people, those that played football. When she said this, the othersrespondedwithreactionsandcomments. Itwasacrucialmomentinthegroupwherethetension between two poles - those who defended football and those who did not, wasidentified and several people started talking at the same time, interrupting each other,accusingeachother andbecomingmore angry.At this pointwe stoppedand said that it

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seemedimportanttohaveaspacetocontinuetalkingaboutit,forthechancetolistenandtofindouthoweveryonefeltaboutitsothateveryonewouldbemoreaware,sowetookupthetopicintheWordCircle.

BelowIdescribetheposturesthatcameuponthesubject,collectedinaliteralandsequentialorderintheWordCircle:

- "Somechildrenthinka lotaboutwhatthey likeand Iwould likethemtoalsothinkabouthowothersfeel.Iwantthemtoalsothinkaboutpeoplewhodonotlikefootball"

- "Becausethefootballkidsoccupythewholeyardandwhensomeonegetshit*theysayGoawaythen…"(*withtheball)

- "Idon'tcareiftheycomplain.Everyonelikessomething.Forexample,Ilikefootball.Andyoucan'tcomplainaboutpeoplebecauseifIhitsomeone,Iapologize.Thatis,youcannotcomplainaboutallthepeople.IamnotthetypetorunawayifIhitsomeone.I'mangrythattheycomplainbecausetheyhaveaplaygrounddownthebottomthattheydon'tuse"

Thisprovokedsomeonewhorespondedthatthebottomplaygroundwasforthelittlekids.Weframedwhatwashappeningthenaskedtheboyifhewantedtosayanythingelsebecausethereweresignsofemotion inhiseyes.Hewasstillangryandwhathesaidwasagainanaccusation,whichescalatedtheotherside.So,wecontinuedwiththeWordCircle.

- “Itonlyhappensoccasionally,butsometimestheygetintheway,theydistractus,wecan'tscoregoals...Andtheytellusthatweshouldoccupyless,whentheyhavealreadytakenawaythreedaysoffootball...Letusplaywiththetwodayswehave"

- "Football needsa specific space. It's logicalbecausea football field is big. There isanotherspaceintheplaygroundtoplayfronton(Spanishgame)”

- "It'strue,weoccupy80%oftheplaygroundandIdon'tsayit'swrong,butweneedspace for our game. Itwould be fair, if they hadmore space but taking away ourfootballdaysisnotsofair"

- "Ilikefootball,andI'monthesideofthegirlstoointhatweoccupyalmosttheentireplayground,andIfinditunfairthatweonlyhave3daysoffootball"

Withtheselastinterventionswebegantoseeachangeinthewayofintervening,therewasmorecapacitytoseetheotherside,moreempathy.WhenitwasmyturnIpointedoutthatwhen people recognized that they occupied space this helped the other side and I alsoacknowledgedandvaluedthattherearepeopleinthegroupforwhomitisveryimportanttoplayfootball.

- "...therehavebeenpeoplewhohaverecognizedthattheyoccupymuchmoreoftheplayground,andthishelpsmetoseethatIamnottheonlyonewhothinksthis,...I

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don't agree that they takeawayall the football ... and Iwould like to come toanagreementsothatthosewhodon'twantfootballandthosewhowantitcangeton"

Thisinterventionembracedbothpositionsfromaplaceofleadership,facilitatingatemporaryresolutionwiththattopic.

Thentherewereotherinterventionsthatrepeatedcommentsandwealsobegantoaskwhatotherthingstheyplayedandwhattheycoulddothedaysthattheycouldn'tplayfootball,whichtheyliked,asthenthethemeoffootballdidnotcontinuetooccupysomuchspace.

ThereweresomemoreinterventionsthenweclosedtheWordCirclebythankingeveryoneforwhathadjusthappened,sinceitisnotusualtohaveconversationswithasmuchlisteningandrecognitionaswe'djustexperienced.

ThisexampleshowshowaGroupProcesshappenedinaWordCircle,wherethedifferentpositions,thediscomfort,thevalueandtheimportanceofplayingfootballandothergameswereidentifiedandexpressed,andinwhichbothpositionscouldberecognized,facilitatinglisteningandadeeperunderstandingofthesituation.OurinterventionsandwhattookplaceweresimilartothosethatwouldbemadeinaGroupProcess.

Thedifferenceisthereforeinthewayofparticipatingandintheuseofspacetolocatethedifferentpositions,asisusuallydoneinaGroupProcess,makingiteasiertobemindfulofthesystemicviewofthetopicintheformofroles,andalsotorealizemoreeasilywhenyouarechangingroles.

Overall,takingintoaccounttheagesoftheparticipants,Ithinktheuseofthecircleisveryappropriate,sincethewordobject,theritualandthestructureoftheWordCircleconferssomelimitsthatareveryimportantinthedevelopmentofchildren.Wild(2012),inhisbook"FreedomandLimits:LoveandRespect"saysthatlimitscanhavethefunctionofdefiningaspaceinwhichyoucanactwithindependenceandfreedomandprovidesecurity,andonlyinanenvironmentwheretheconceptsof freedomand limitsare livedwithcoherencewillaharmoniouscoexistencebepossible.

3.4.13.FromthesolutiontothetemporalresolutionintheWordCircles.TherestorativeapproachMindell (2017) says that solutions are crucial, but often they are not sustainablewithouteveryonelearningtorelatebetterbetweenthemselvesandwiththeissueinvolved.Inthecaseofbullyingit'scrucialtoworkonthedynamicsofexclusionwhentheyoccurinordertohavetheexperienceofhowwerelatetoeachotherandhowtomanagethesituation,andthisisthetoolthatwillserveforfutureoccasions.

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Inaddition,fromtherestorativeperspective,itisfundamentaltounderstandthatwhateachpersonneedstosolvethesituationisparticularandunique,andoftenthisisn'tclearfromanexternalposition.Forthisreason,itisveryimportantthatthepeopleinvolvedparticipateinthemanagementoftheconflictorsituationofexclusionandintheproposalofsolutionstoit.

Inaworkshopwithagroupof3ºofPrimary(between8and9yearsold)inaschoolinBarberàdelVallès,whenwemadethecirclewiththechairs,achildputachairbetweenhimandthechildwhowasathisside.Weaskedhimwhyhewasdoingitandhesaidhedidn'twanttositnexttohim.Itwasaveryparticipatoryandrestlessgroupwhereitwasdifficulttogetthemtobequietandtolistentoeachother,andsomepeoplehadatendencytocommentonwhatotherpeoplesaid.So,thenwestoppedtheactivitytofocusonthatsituationandthewholegroupstoppedmovingandtalking.Sincewewereworkingonthedynamicsofexclusionwetookadvantageofthesituationtogodeeperintoit.Weweretryingdifferentinterventions-wetriedtofindoutifsomethinghadhappenedpreviously,tovocalizetheirexperiences,toaskthegrouphowtheyfeltandiftheyhadproposals,to identifytheemotions,etc.Thenunexpectedly, thechildwhohadbeenseparatedproposed to theother that theysolve itbetweenthemselvesoutsidetheclass.Theywentoutforawhileandwhentheycamebacktheysattogetherandwhenweaskedthemhowtheyweredoing,theysaidfine.

This example illustrates the importance of the process, the relationships and the conflictmanagementitself. Ifatfirst,wehadproposedasolution,suchaslettingthechildchooseanotherplacetositsothatbothpeoplecouldbeok,wewouldhavemissedtheopportunitytolearnmoreaboutthatexperience.Itwasanopportunityforthegrouptoworkonempathyandstrengthenthelinksandsupportamongthem.Severalchildrenparticipatedpositively,supportingtheaffectedboy,andalsosupportingtheboywhowasmomentarilybeingtheaggressor tobeawareof itandthe impactofhisaction. Inaddition, itwas theaggrievedperson himself who proposed away tomanage the situation that facilitated a favorabletemporary resolution for them both,momentarily changing the power dynamic. Itwas aprocessofempowermentforhim,inwhichhecouldconnectwithhisownpowertofacilitatetheresolutionoftheconflictinawaythatdidnotmaketheotherpersonfeelbad.

3.4.14.ClosingtheWordCirclesandthecontinuationoftheprocess

TheWordCircleendswhenthetalkingobjectreturnstothepersonwhoinitiatedit,thatis,tothefacilitator.Sometimes,ifthereistime,thereismorethanoneroundwiththesameorotherquestions,orthetalkingobjectispasseddirectlytopeoplewhostillhavemorethingstosay.

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The Word Circle facilitates the awareness of the group around the dynamics of therelationships between them. Sometimes that awareness allows visible changes andsometimesnot.Thatiswhytheworkthattheirownteachersandrolemodelsdoonadailybasisiscrucial.

Inthecasesinwhichwereturnedtoworkwiththesamegroup,ifinthefirstworkshoptherewerepeoplewhohadbeendoingorsayingthingsthattheothersdidn'tlikeweusuallyaskedif they continuedwith this behavior or had stoppeddoing it. This is away to record andidentifythechanges,assometimesitseemsthatthingsdon'tchange,althoughnotthattheyhaven't changed, but that we haven't observed the difference. This has to do withexpectations,oftenwhatisexpectedisthatthesituationofdiscriminationstopscompletelyandthisdoesnotallowtomakevisibleotherchangesinattitude,frequencyandintensityofthisviolentbehavior...Thisworkisimportanttodowiththechildren,butaboveallwiththeteachersandreferentsofthegroup,sincethesearetheoneswhowillbetheredoingthefollow-upcontinuously.Forthisreason,weoftendedicatetimetomeetingswithteacherstosupport thismonitoringandgain awarenessof expectations, inorder to adjust themandmakevisiblewhatisdifferent.

Inanycase,tofocusonthesuccessoftheWordCirclesonlyonbehavioralchangeswouldbetofocusonlyonthesupposedsolution,when,aswehavesaidbefore,somethingkeythatalsohappensthroughthecircleistheexperienceofworkingthroughconflictsinrelationshipandingroup,andacquiringtoolsandskillsforfutureconflictsandsituationsofdiscrimination.Thisishardertomeasure.

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4. Theexperienceatschool“M”

4.1.Theprojectatschool“M”

At the M. school, in Barcelona, in the 2017-18 school year, Fil a l'agulla proposed acomprehensivediversity attentionproject that focusedon teacher training to include therestorativeviewandtoworkwithWordCirclestoaddressthedynamicsofdiscriminationandconflicts.TheprojectwassubsidizedbytheCityCouncilofBarcelonaandreceivedthesupportofthefacultyoftheteachers,themanagementteamandtheParentsAssociationoftheM.school.

Inthisschoolduringthe2015-2016academicyear,anintegralprojectwascarriedoutwherecoeducation and the gender perspective were mainly worked on. As a result of theinterventionsintheclassroomsacaseofbullyingwasdetected,afactthatstimulatedmoreinterventionwiththestudentsandaworkshopwithfamilies.Thecurrentheadofstudies,inameetingwithafamily,saidthattheinterventionandsupportofFilal'agullaatthattimewasveryimportant.Thecasewascomplex,therewerethreatsofofficialcomplaintsandtheinterventionofthepreviousheadmasteroftheschoolescalatedtheconflict.TheTeachingDepartmentastheresponsiblebodyintervenedandinthe2016-17academicyearappointedanewheadteacherinordertopromoteachange.

Inthe2016-17academicyear,weintervenedsporadicallybyholdingworkshops ingroupsthat the school identified as needingmore, and therewere 2 sessions in 2 groups and asecondworkshopaboutbullyingwithfamilies.

Asintheschooltherehadbeenacaseofbullyingandthemanagementteamwasopentoproposalsofthistype,weproposedtoimplementacomprehensiveprogramofattentiontothedynamicsofdiscrimination,whichwouldfocusontheadoptionofthetoolsandofthemethod,sothattheprojectcouldcontinuewithoutourpresence.

BelowIdescribeitsmaincharacteristics:

Generalgoalsoftheproject:

• Develop a focus on the people, relationships, groups and structures thataccommodatediversity,andpromoteaconstructiveresolutionofconflicts.

• Contribute to the outreach of families in the school and to the cohesion of theeducationalcommunity.

ExpectedimpactoftheprojectattheM.school:

• Toidentifyandgenerateawarenessaroundthedynamicsofdiscrimination

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• Increase agency capacity and experimentation in relation to the management ofdiversityinschools

• Createandconsolidatespacesforrestorativepracticeatschool

• Contribute to the construction of a cohesive educational community aroundcoeducationanddiversity

Activities:

• Teachertraining:focusondiversity,toolsandskillsforemotionalaccompanimentandconflictmanagementandintroductiontotheWordCircles(7sessionsof1h30m).Andaspecializedcouncelingtoteachersofchildrenwithlessthan6yearsold.

• Participatoryactionresearch(IAP)toopenaspaceforparticipationaroundatopicofinterest andpromote a process of transformationwith concrete actions. The coregroupisformedwithfamiliesandteachersandtheissueofdiscriminationischosenaroundtwocentralthemes-genderandspecialeducationalneeds.ThedecisionistakentolinktheIAPwiththeprocess,whichwilltakeplaceinthe2018-2019academicyear around a process of transformation of the playground. The actions that aredecided are questionnaires to families about discrimination, questionnaires to thestudents about the use of the playground, observations in the playground to seepatterns of grouping and children who are left out and a map of uses of theplayground.

• Intervention in primary school classrooms (6 – 12 years old)withWord Circles (asessionof1h30mwitheachcourse)asmodelingandintroductiontothemethodologyoftheWordCirclesforthetutorofeachgroup.

• Extrainterventionhours.Basedontheidentificationofneedsandindialoguewiththefacultyandthemanagementteam,moreinterventionsaredefinedintheclassroomwithgroupswhereaspecificconflictivesituationhasbeendetectedorwithadvicetotheteachingstaff.

• Family-schooldialoguespace:asessionwithfamiliesandonewiththefamiliesandteachers.

• Evaluationoftheprojectbasedonthesetools:o Questionnairestotheteachingstafftobedoneatthebeginningandatthe

end. They incorporate questions of assessment and perception of theformationandoftheotheractions.

o Surveysofstudentvictimization,atthebeginningandattheend,inordertorecordthechangesintherelationaldynamicsinthegroups.

o Discussion groupswith a token group of participants. The analysis of non-conscious discourse allows us to see the effects of the group process on

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language(everythingthatissaidwithoutbeingawareofit,inadditiontowhatisconsciouslystated).

o Systematicobservation.Thereareaspectsoftheactionsthatarenotcapturedby the questionnaires and the interviews. Aspects such as atmosphere,interactionsornon-verbalelementswhichprovidevaluableinformationaboutanyprojectaction.

• VideooftheexperiencethatcompilestheworkwiththeWordCircles.Therecording,editingandproductionisdonebyInòpia.

TheactivitiesbeganinJanuary2018andendedinJune2018,minustheevaluationandthevideothatendsinOctober2018.

4.2.Developmentandevaluationoftheproject

Thefinalevaluationoftheentireprojectwillbedone inOctober2018,butgiventhatthedeliveryof thisproject isprior to thisdate, in thischapter Iexplain thedevelopmentandevaluationoftheprojectwiththedataIhave.

TheteachingstaffoftheM.schoolareexceptional.Itisalittleschool,withasmallteamofpeople,andalthoughthereareseveralnewteachers,theyhavefittedinverywellwiththenewpedagogicalproposaland themanagement team.Thechangeofdirection includesapedagogicalchangeandworkingrelationshipsandconflictmanagement.

TheschoolhasaParentAssociation(AFA),whichtheysayisintenselyactive,therearemanyworkcommissions,althoughtheywouldliketohavemorefathersandmothersparticipating.Thetrainingandconcealinghasbeenverywellreceivedbymostofthefaculty,someofthemalreadyknewusfrompreviousissues,afactthathasfacilitatedthelinkandconfidence.ThishasalsobeenthecaseofAFAandstudents,withtheexceptionofonefamily,whohassentus several notifications expressing their criticism regarding the methodology and ourprocedureintheproject.

All these previous factors are key elements. The openness of the teachers and themanagementteamhasgreatlyfacilitatedthedevelopmentoftheprojectandthechangeofviewaroundthedynamicsofdiscriminationandworkwithconflicts.

Inoneofthelastsessionswiththefaculty,onApril18th2018,wemadeaWordCirclesothatthey could share their experiences in relation to the use of the Word Circle and themanagement of conflicts and the prevention of discrimination. These are some of thecommentstheymade:

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Teacherofthegroupof1stgrade(6-7years),withwhichwedid2workshops:"Inourclasseverything isdone inaCircle,maybetheyarenotproperWordCircles,but ...TherewerefewconflictsandIdidn'tdealwithconflictssomuchinaCircle,buttodaytherewasanincidentwithagirlwhoproducesconflictswiththerestoftheclassandtellsliesandIaskedthequestion"Whatdotheothersfeellikewhenwelie?"...andeveryonetoldherhowtheyfeltandverynicethingscameoutofit.Thesearethingsthatsurprisemefromfirst-graders,andthankstothispracticeyouvaluethematurityofmanyofthem,howtheyventtheiremotionsandhowthey'reconsciousofit,andthatperhapswouldn'totherwisecomeoutifwedidn'tmakethattimetotalk"

Teacherofthe2ndgradegroup(7-8years),withwhichwedidtwoworkshopsforthe2017-18academicyear,twointhepreviouscourseanda1hcounselingsession:"Inthesecondtermmygrouphadmanyconflictsofcoexistence,betweengirlsandboys.WeusedrestorativeCirclesalotandtheyworkedwell.Itwastherapeuticbecausetheyallowedtheexpressionofemotions,andnowtheyhave totalconfidence toask forCirclesessiontodealwithconflicts.TheconflictshavebeenminimizedtothepointthatthecoexistenceinthesummercampshasbeenfantasticandrightnowIamnotsolvingconflictsintheclassroom...Thesethingsareobviouslynotpermanent,thingschangeandImayhavetousethemlater.Rightnow,IusetheCirclemoretofindouthowwearefeeling,whatthingswelikedaboutanactivity,butnotsomuchtosolveissues...Thecoexistencehasimprovedalot."

Teacherclass4thgrade(9-10yearsold),withwhomwedid2workshops,butinthatdaywehadonlydonethefirst:"Idon'tknowifIcansaymuch.Ifeeldifferentfromeveryone,fromyou.Idon'tdoWordCirclesbecauseIdon’tknowhowtodoit.AndwhatlittleIhavedonehassurprisedmebecauseIseethatthoseof4thyearbasicallydon'tknowhowtoexpressanything.BasicallypeoplewhoI'dthoughtweregoingtoexpresssomethinghavebeenincapableandthepeoplewhoactcool,Idon'tknowhowtoforcethemtotalk.WhatI'vedoneiswiththepeopleinvolvedwiththeissue.Butitisagroupthatdoesnotknowhowtoexpressthemselves....AndIfeelterrible,becauseIthinktheyallneedtotalk...Idonotwanttodealwithatopicthatneithersuitsthemnorintereststhem,andinmyclasswithmanysubjectsthishappens.AndIdonotknowhowtodoit.I'monmyownintheclassroom,Ican'tgooutintotheplaygroundandifthereisnotsomeoneelsewhoiswithmeIcan'tdoit.AndsometimeswhenIwanttointervene,Idon’tknowhowtodoitwithoutmanipulatingtheWordCircle,becausetheyarenotsayingwhatIthinkwouldcomeout,...andalsothatthewholesubject

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goeswiththepersonwhospokebeforeandotherissueshavetocomeout,notjustthisone."

Teacherof5thgrade(10-11years),withwhichwedidtwoworkshopsandtwomorethepreviouscourse: "Idonot rememberwhat idea Ihad thesecondday,but IdorememberthatIwantedtoapplytheWordCirclesandeveryMondayforthefirsthourwedidaWordCircle.Thequestionswereveryvaried,from"whatisitthattheylikedmostabouttheschooltrip,orforthosethatdidn'tgo,abouttheweekend,to,thingsthatmakeyoufeelbad,thingsthathavehappenedthatwedon'tlike,thingsthatwecanimprove”,andasaresultofthisandotherdynamicsthatIhavedoneintheclass,the comments box is over, there is no paper, and that is positive, because it hadbecomecomplaints,complaints,complaintsandnowtheyhavedisappeared.Also,I'venotedverypositivelythattherelationshipsbetweenthemhaveimproved,theydon'tmake such derogatory comments, at least not that I can hear… maybe amongthemselvestheycriticizeeachother,butnot infrontofmeandweareontherighttrack".

Teacherof6thgrade(11-12years),untilthenwehadonlydoneoneworkshopwiththegroupandacounselingsession:"Inclass6thweareusingtheWordCircles,andatfirsttheonlyconflictthatalwayscameupwasthetopicoffootball.Butnowwehavegotbeyondthatandwearealsoworkingontheunderstandingbetweenthem,howtheyformsmallgroups,andnowwearefocusingontopicssuchas"howwouldyoufeeliftheydidnotchooseyou,whatwouldhappenifyouwereleftout,ifweimaginethatwecanallbetheleaderswhatwouldwedo,etc..."

Other teachers commented on how they included the restorative view in conflictmanagement.Andtheyalsocommentedontheinterrelationbetweenthemandthedifferentspacesinwhichtheywork,howinformationispassedandwhattheydowhenthereareissuesthatcannotberesolvedintheclassroomandchildrenaresenttotheheadteacher.

Therewasonlyoneteacherwhodidn'tusetheWordCircles.WhatIappreciatedaboutherinterventionwashersincerity,shefeltthefreedomtobeabletoexpressherself,althoughheropinionorexperiencewasverydifferentandthis isoneofthegoalsofourwork.Shedidn'tfeelshehadthetoolsandskillstoimplementit,howeverhercontributionwasveryinteresting since she raised key questions when intervening and carrying out a similardynamic,andweusedthemtodeepenalittlemoreonthesubject.

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Inthesecondsessionwithfamilies,onMay4th,2018,inwhichtwoteachersandtheheadteacherwerealsopresent,withthequestion"Whatworriesyou?",Iwasstruckbythefactthatnobodymentioneddiscrimination,bullyingortherelationshipsbetweenthestudents.However, with the question "What do you like and appreciate about the school?", thefunctional and culturaldiversity and theemotionalwork thatwasbeing carriedoutwerepositivelyassessed.Theconcernsrevolvedaroundothertopics,suchasthecontinuityoftheeducationalproject,duethatpartoftheteachingstaffofthecenteraren'tpermanent,oraroundthelackofparticipationofthefreetimeeducatorsintheschoolproject.

Anotherkeyaspect in thedevelopmentof thisprojecthasbeenthecriticismwereceivedfromafamily.TheysentusaletterwithseveralcomplaintsandweinvitedthemtoameetingwiththeheadteachersandtheParentsAssociation.(AFA).Theprocesshelpedustotakeintoaccountmoretheroleoffamiliesintheproject,theimportanceofinformingandtransmittingmoreabouttheprojectaswellastakingintoaccounthowthechildrencomebacktohomeafteranemotionalworkshop.Italsohelpedustolookatthelegalaspectsofdataprotectionand permits, aswell as having a clearer positioning of howwework andwhat our basicprinciples are. At the meeting, we invited the family to participate in the reunions weorganized for this and theydid so, however the criticism continuedandendedupwith acomplainttotheCityCouncil.BoththeschoolandtheAFAshowedtheirdisagreementwiththeirwayofactingandtheircomments,andhavesupportedtheprojectthroughout.

Withtheindicatorsthatexistsofaryoucanseehowtherelationshipsintheclassroomhavechangedbetweenthestudents,andtheteachers'viewofaddressingdiversityandsituationsofdiscriminationandbullying,andsometeachershave incorporatedtheuseof theWordCircleintheirdailypractice.

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5.Finalconclusions

Carrying out this project has allowed me to understand in more depth the dynamics ofbullying.ProcessWorkandseveralofitsbasicconceptsandprinciplesallowustounderstandmorefullythecomplexityofexperiencesthatoccurinthisfield.

Next,Isummarizethemainideas:

• Evenifthecriteriatoidentifyasituationofbullyingatthelevelofconsensusrealityarenotmet,atthelevelofdreamlandtheperson'ssubjectiveexperiencemaybeoffeelingvictimized.Thisispartofrealityandmustbetakenintoaccount.

• Forsometeachers,headteachersandfamiliesitisverydifficulttorecognizebullying.Insuchcases,knowingmoreabouttheexperienceofthesepeople,whattheysayisnothappeningandwhattheirfearsare,willretrospectivelyhelpthemtorelatetotheexperience of discrimination. A challenge in the intervention is to work with thenegative beliefs towards this behavior, to reduce the extreme view thatmakes itdifficult for the person implicated to recognize it and also for the educationalcommunityingeneral.

• Althoughtheremightnotbebullying,therearedynamicsofdiscriminationinschoolsanditisveryimportanttoaddressthem.

• Inbullyingtherearethreerolesinvolved:theaggressor,thevictimandthewitnesses.Everyone has the capacity to occupy any of the roles. Understanding this helpsdevelopcompassion.Whenapersonstopsoccupyingtherole,ifthedynamicshavenotbeenfullyprocessedandtherelationshipsworkedon,northemessageandtheusefulessenceoftherolerecognized,therolecanbefilledbyanotherperson,andthedynamicsofbullyingcontinue.

• Whenyoudonotidentifywithpower,and,inaddition,youhavefeltavictimofabuseinothersituations,youcanpotentiallyoccupytheroleofaggressor.

• The victim internalizes the aggression by internalizing the role of the aggressorthroughthe internalcritic.Sothentheyhavetwoaggressors, theexternalandtheinternal.Althoughtheexternalaggressorstops,itisveryimportanttoattendtotheinternaldynamics, tocounteractthefeelingofguilt,negativeself-constructionandjudgments.Workingwith the internal dynamics of aggression and criticism is alsoimportantfortheotherroles.

• To appreciate and welcome vulnerability and the expression of emotions such assadness,frustration,shame,pain,etc.,willhelpthevictimtonotisolatehimselfandtobeabletoexpresswhat ishappeningtohim.Beingabletomovebetweenroles

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with power and without power helps develop emotional and social skills such ascompassiontowardsothers.

• Withouttheroleofthewitness,thedynamicsofbullyingwouldnotexist.• Theroleoffacilitationoreldershipisthekeytostopthedynamicsofviolence,from

an understanding of the dynamics and roles that allows us to attend to what ishappeningandatthesametimelookafterthepeopleandrelationships.

• Some violent behavior of a verbal or social nature such as insults or neglecting aperson, are more normalized than others. It is necessary to identify them andacknowledge them.Beyond repressingandpunishing, it is important tobeable torecognizewhatistheunderlyingmessageofthatbehaviorthatisimportantfortheprocessofthepersonandthegroup.Beingabletotalkabout it freelyrelievesthesystemandreducestheneedtoactwithviolence.

• Thedynamicsofbullyingissystemicandaffectsthewholegroup.Itisusefultobeabletoprocessandworkonitwiththatinmind.Inordertoachievesustainablechangeitisusefulforthetransformationtooccuratapersonal,relationalandgrouplevelandtherefore to propose interventions at all levels and with all the educationalcommunitymembers.

• Tointerveneandworkwithsituationsofbullyingitisimportanttodopersonalworkandknowwhatprinciplesinfluenceyourwayofacting.

The other field of the project is intervention in situations of bullying with two basiccontributions:therestorativevisionandtheWordCircles.

Including the restorative approach in the treatment of bullying and conflicts in generalprovides guidelines and a process that looks after both the relationships and the peopleinvolved,andputsalimitonviolentbehavior.Ithelpstheprocessoftakingresponsibilitywiththepeopleaffectedproposingthesolutions,facilitatingtheirrelationshipwithpower.

Taking this approach into account has given me a clearer direction when it comes toaccompanyingthistypeofsituationandtofacilitatesimpleandeasilyreplicatedinterventionguidelinesfortheeducationalcommunity.Theideathateachpersonsuffersindifferentwaysisveryimportant,thereforetherecan'tbeuniversalsolutions,soitisimportanttofindoutwhateachpersonneedstofeelbetter.Inadditionthisapproachfacilitatesthedevelopmentofsocialandemotionalskills.

The challenge in conflict management and intervention in bullying is how to follow thisapproachwithout forcing a concrete resolutionwhen it's not appropriate, facilitating theconnectionwithpowerandrespectingthegroupprocess.

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Finally,reflectingontheuseofWordCircleshashelpedmeenormouslytorealizeeverythingthatwedowiththeinterventionsinsituationsofdiscriminationandbullyingandhasallowedmetoelaboratethetoolinordertogetmoreoutofit.AstheexperienceoftheMschoolshowstheWordCirclesareaveryuseful,duplicabletoolthatfacilitatetheworkofconflictmanagementandclassroomrelations.

Thisworkhasfedmyinterestinthefieldofconflictmanagementintheschoolenvironment.IhavenotfoundmuchliteraturethatlooksintothesubjectfromaperspectivesimilartotheoneIhavepresented,andIconsidertheopportunityinthefuturetocontinuelearningandsharingmoreofwhatIlearninthisfield.

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6.Bibliography

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organizations,governmentsandplanet.WorldTaoPressandAmyMindell.2017● ArnoldMindell.Sitting on the fire. LargeGroup TransformationUsing Conflict and

Diversity.DDX.2014● ArnoldMindell.Theleaderasamartialartist.TechniquesandStrategiesforRevealing

ConflictandCreatingCommunity.LaoTsePressPublishers.2000● Arnold Mindell. The Deep Democracy of Open Forums: Practical Steps to Conflict

PreventionandResolutionfortheFamily,Workplace,andWorld.DDX.2014● BobCostello,JoshuaWachtelyTedWachtel.RestorativeCirclesinSchools:Building

CommunityandEnhancingLearning.IIRP.2011● Dawn Menken. Raising parents, raising kids. Hands-On Wisdom for the Next

Generation.BellySongPress.2013● IngridRose.Schoolviolence.StudiesinAlienation,RevengeandRedemption.Karnac

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● RebecaWild.Libertadylímites.Amoryrespeto:Loquelosniñosnecesitandenosotros.(Freedomandlimits.Loveandrespect:Whatchildrenneedfromus)2012

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● Jordi Colell, Carme Escudé.Elmaltractament entre alumnes.Guia per les famílies.(Abuse among students. Guide for families) 2004https://www.slideshare.net/textlagalera/guia-pares

● JulieDiamondandGemmaSummers.FacilitationandMulti-leveledInterventions inCommunityBuilding.TheJournalofProcessOrientedPsicology

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● VicençRul.lan.ProyectofinaldeMaster.JusticiayPrácticarestaurativas.Loscírculosrestaurativosysuaplicaciónendiversosámbitos.(FinalprojectofMaster.RestorativeJusticeandPractice.Therestorativecirclesandtheirapplicationinvariousfields).2011

● Julie Diamond.Patterns of communication: towards a natural science of behavior.Finalproject.

● SoniaStraub.Stalkingyourinnercritic.AProcess-OrientedApproachtoSelf-Criticism.AdissertationsubmittedtotheUnionInstitute.1990

● MónicaAlberti yCortes.Haciaunaescuela justa:de la incorporaciónde la justiciarestaurativaenelámbitoescolar.Proyectotesisdoctoral.(Towardsafairschool:theincorporationofrestorativejusticeintheschoolenvironment.Doctoralthesisproject).2012

● Fabiola Bernal Acevedo y Ana Echeverri Echeverri. Manual para Facilitación deCírculos de Diálogo en Instituciones Educativas. (Manual for the Facilitation ofDialogueCirclesinEducationalInstitutions)CONAMAJ,CostaRica,2009