attending to matters of the heart understanding god’s gift of emotions
Post on 21-Dec-2015
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Attending to Matters of the heart
Understanding God’s Gift of Emotions
Attending to matters of the heart
Understanding God’s Gift of Emotions
Attending to matters of the heart
Understanding God’s Gift of Emotions
Attending to matters of the heart
Understanding God’s Gift of Emotions
Attending to matters of the heart
Understanding God’s Gift of Emotions
Today’s themes
The value of awareness of our feelings The value of wise expression of our feelings
missionary experience
Change Loss Pressure – demands – difficulties Danger Conflict Joy of knowing God and living out his
purposes
What are emotions?
SadGladMadBad
Afraid
Everyday experience OF Feelings
Feelings are instantly triggered by perception Memory, event, or situation Quicker than rational thought
For example, fight or flight response
Feelings can also follow thoughts In moments of reflection
For example, embarrassment, gratitude, etc. Influenced by rational thought
Everyday experience OF Feelings
Emotions by their nature focus on the present Color the present Guide action toward immediate goals
Are influenced by the past… Remembering generates emotion
And are influenced by anticipation of the future Concern for what might happen, worry
A definition
Emotion: A feeling and its thoughts; mind and body states; and the tendency to act.
Understanding emotion
belief/thought
behavior/motivationphysical state
feeling
Putting emotions into perspective
personality
moodemotio
nFleeting More enduring
Everyday experience of feelings
Our emotions are like waves
Face into them and let them run their course
Everyday experience of feelings
Feelings are powerful Too powerful to stay bottled or stuffed
If clogged… Emotional pipes tend to leak or burst
Leaks and bursts
Body languageTone of voice
SarcasmImpatience
DefensivenessExplosions of anger or tears
“Walking on eggshells”
A Biblical perspective on emotions
Unbiblical view
Out of concern for sin, we may be wary of feelings …
… and perhaps conclude we shouldn’t have feelings.
Small groups
Discuss Bible verses Group 1: Gen. 6:5-6, Ex. 34:14, I Kings 11:7-10, Ps. 149:4, Eph.
4:30, Heb. 12:2 Group 2: Mt. 26:37-38, Mark 3:5, 10:14, Jn. 11:34-35, Jn. 15:10-
11 Group 3: Ps. 25:16-18, Ps. 43:5, 2 Cor. 1:7-9 2, Phil. 4:10-12, 3 Jn.
1:4 Group 4: Ps. 56:3; Ps.62:8; Lam. 2:19a; Ro. 12:9, 15; Phil. 4:4, 6-7
Why are these in the Bible? What might God want us to learn about emotion?
Guarding your heart
Proverbs 4:23
“Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
What is your heart? What are you guarding it from?
Discuss this in pairs or triads
Guarding your heart
Strategies for guarding your heart
Spiritual disciplines: Intake of the Word Prayer Fellowship and accountability Desiring what God desires Dealing with sin
These disciplines and others are critical to emotionally-healthy spirituality.
Guarding your heart
… Does not mean becoming un-emotionallike Spock
… But rather becoming fully humanlike Jesus
Emotional intelligence
Improving your emotional intelligence
Strategies for getting smarter :1. Hearing feelings2. Heeding warning signs and managing stress3. Expressing feelings constructively
1. Hear your feelings
An exercise to make sense of emotion Check-in with yourself:
1. “(Today) I feel…” 2. “When I feel this way, the thoughts that go
through my head are…”3. “When I feel this way and think these
thoughts, what I want to do is…” and/or “how I feel in my body is…”
Hear your feelings
Acknowledge those feelings
Acknowledging the reality of our feelings is the first step in choosing a healthy response. “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you
teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” Psalm 51:6
2. Heed warning signals
Some reactions to stress: Foot on the gas
Heated, angry, can’t sit still Foot on the brake
Shut down, depressed, withdrawn Foot on both gas and brake
Tense and frozen
Emotional intelligence
Feelings can feel like the whole of reality, yet they are only a part of reality.
Reality
My feelings
Emotional intelligence
Manage “Foot on the gas” Slow down Calm and soothe
Manage “Foot on the brake” Speed up to get unstuck Physically move
Emotional Intelligence & community
God is relational and we are made in his image – for relationships Honestly connect
Provides support and feedback from others Danger in isolating
Get help when needed Member care or counseling support
3. Express feelings constructively
How can we share our emotions with others? Consider your motive and purpose.
Don’t tear others down. Do build others up.
3. Express feelings constructively
Don’t tear others down Anger escalating Blame
Making others responsible for your feelings and actions Complaining
Stuck in misery Defensiveness
Take responsibility for your feelings
3. Express feelings constructively
Do build others up in love Share your feelings with skill Own and work your feelings into conversation
sad/mad/glad/bad/afraid Not “I feel you are unreasonable”
Use “I” statements Rather than “You make me mad” Try “I feel angry because …”
XYZ formula
(X) When ______________ happens,or When you ______________,
(Y) I feel ___________ .
(Z) I need ____________or I want ___________.
Express feelings constructively
When responding to the sharing of feelings, give the gift of ACKNOWLEDGEMENT You don’t have to agree!
Three levels of acknowledgement: “I can see how you think that way.” “I can see how you feel that way.” “You are right.” (Most powerful.)
Attending to matters of the heart
Benefits of awareness and wise expression of our feelings Authentic spirituality Intimacy with others
Effective communication and conflict resolution Longevity in ministry
Averting burnout Short accounts