In the high stakes world of New York City divorces, thesaying, “All’s fair in love and war,” can seem especiallyapropos. Consider some of our city’s most notoriousdivorce stories: For instance, Donald and Ivana

Trump’s highly publicized 1992 split, during which Ivana coined the slogan, “Don’t get mad, get everything.”Their 13-month legal feud ended with Ivana reportedly getting $25 million (of which $10 million was in cash) fromThe Apprentice showman. And who could forget the divorceproceedings that resulted in the East Hampton murder offinance tycoon Ted Ammon by convicted handyman (andreported lover of Ammon’s wife) Danny Pelosi?

To the casual onlooker, the trail of high drama, headline-grabbing divorces seems virtually endless. But ask the menand women in the trenches, the divorce lawyers who take on these high-profile cases, and they’ll tell you that knock-down, drag-out divorces are not as common as youmay think. Thanks to prenuptial agreements and a trendtoward post-divorce mediation, many couples are moving toa more civilized dissolution of their civil unions. Even so,when the time does come for high-powered New Yorkers tountie the knot, the city is still the big-money, big-powerdivorce capital of the United States. “Let’s face it, it’s a reallyexpensive place to live, and you need a lot of money to live with dignity,” says Elizabeth Hayt, author of I’m NoSaint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving. “It’s a competitive city, so it demands a public persona that you

TEN QUESTIONS FOR NEW YORK’S MOST SOUGHT AFTER MATRIMONIAL LAWYERS

by ERINN BUCKLAN

have to maintain.” This often means ruthless financial negotiations that put the emotional upheaval of divorce onthe back burner.

One of the most public displays of disaffection in recentyears was the 1997 divorce of Ronald Perelman and PatriciaDuff. Duff reportedly demanded a cool $7 million a year inchild support for their daughter Caleigh. In the end, despitereportedly plowing through 20 divorce lawyers in theprocess, Duff came away with less than $150,000 a year inchild support.

Some cases attract our attention, not for the battle overbucks, but because they offer a glimpse into the lifestyles ofthe rich and famous: Woody Allen’s very public breakupwith Mia Farrow revolved around the shocking news thathe’d taken up with Farrow’s adopted daughter during thecourse of the marriage. Others underscore just how fictionala storybook romance can be. After a lavish, three-day,$4 million bacchanalia that doubled as the wedding ofAlexandra Miller (daughter of duty-free tycoon RobertMiller) to Alexandre von Furstenberg in 1996, the couple’smarriage disintegrated in 2003.

The common denominators in all these cases are, ofcourse, the attorneys who take on the task of divvying up theassets of New York’s wealthiest individuals. Here, we speak to seven of the city’s best matrimonial lawyers on mining the battlefields of modern divorce, Manhattan-style.

THE DEANS

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OF DIVORCE

As Seen in AVENUE,January 2006

LFAMOUS CLIENTS: Margaret Canby, Donald Trump,Joan Lunden, Claudia Cohen, Geraldo Rivera, CarlIcahn, Diana Ross, Vanessa Williams

YOUR BEST ADVICE TO NEW CLIENTS: Don’t useyour children as a pawn. It’s expected that peoplewill fight about money and property, but don’targue about children. The children are not getting adivorce just because their parents are. Worktogether to come to terms about co-parenting.I find the battle in reference to money and assetscomes to an end with an agreement or judgment.But the battle in reference to the children can go onfor many years.

THE NUMBER OF DIVORCE CASES YOU DO A YEAR:About 25.

WHAT YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR JOB: We’re likepsychologists without the diplomas, but with on-the-job training. I’ve been able to help a greatvariety of people from different backgrounds anddifferent positions during their most emotionallydifficult times.

WHAT MAKES DIVORCE LAW DIFFERENT FROMOTHER KINDS OF LAW: You become so close to yourclients’ lives—that’s something that is not availableto commercial lawyers. And having been fortunateenough to represent many of the rich and famous,I’ve been required to learn the ins and outs ofvarious businesses in dispute.

YOUR MOST UNFORGETTABLE CASE: I’ve seen menleave the state and their profession rather thancomply with paying support. Once a man evendrove himself into bankruptcy just to avoid payinghis former spouse. On two occasions, a husbandmurdered the wife over a divorce. On two otheroccasions, there were suicides. So pick your horror.

THE NEWEST DIVORCE TREND: Alternate dispute resolution, something I believe will shortly be law.It requires that a couple get some sort of mediationbefore going forward to the court. It emphasizes thespirit of wanting to settle rather than going into litigation, and we don’t have that now in New York. But you can’t settle until both parties areemotionally prepared, and mediation helps themcome to terms with resolving their differences.

YOUR STRENGTH: I’m patient. My reputation withthe bench and the Bar says I’m a gentleman.I have found that as a gentleman you can be moresuccessful than lawyers who believe in thescorched-earth approach.

YOUR FEE: $600 an hour, but the retainer dependson the complexity of the case.

STANFORD G. LOTWINblank rome, llp

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Claudia Cohen Geraldo Rivera Vanessa Williams Diana Ross

Famous Clients

AVOIDING THE SCORCHED-EARTH APPROACH