art stewart coordinator of mediation vdoe. what are we doing when we negotiate? how is it different...
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Art StewartCoordinator of Mediation
VDOE
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What are we doing when we negotiate?How is it different from any other
conversation?
What is our purpose in negotiation?
What do we want to do at the close of any successful negotiation?
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Concepts to keep in mindZOPA: zone of possible agreement
BATNA: best alternative to a negotiated agreement
WATNA: worst alternative to a negotiated agreement
Variability of value
Interests and positions
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What are the hallmarks of a good negotiator?What qualities are you confident that you
now have?
Which ones do you want to work on further?
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Preparing for NegotiationsThink about what has led you to any
conclusions and share that.What is the best thinking of people who know
the student?Is the student making progress? If so, what is
the real evidence?How can you reduce your objective to
something unambiguous, recognizable and easy to communicate?
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What makes some negotiations difficult?The view that there is only one acceptable
outcomeTrading conclusions rather than defining and
exploring the issuesBroken trustToo much ego involvementSpoilersHistory of unsuccessful meetingsUnrealistic expectationsHighly charged emotions
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Common parent complaints about meetingsThe decision was made before the meeting.People walked in and out of the meeting.The meeting started late.There were side conversations.The discussion went off in tangents.I didn’t feel listened to.
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How does conflict affect people?Collapse of timeAdoption of adversarial stanceLoss of trustFeeling defensiveBecoming inflexibleDistorting incoming information to fit our
judgementsWe guess at each other’s motives
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What bias do we bring to the table?Seeking premature closureRecent events seem to have occurred more
oftenEmotionally charged events seem to have
occurred more recentlyAnchoringSimplifying
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How can you approach highly conflicted negotiations?Don’t take the tone or complaints personallyAvoid becoming defensive Give your responses a personal rather than
an institutional flavorLook for the feeling and the need in the
complaintFind the positive subtext in the negative
account
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Recognize and emphasize common groundWork through one issue at a timeAsk questions to clarify and exploreBe alert to shiftsTiming is everythingBuild the team at the table
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Dealing with Emotional IssuesIf we don’t acknowledge the emotions, we are
not honoring or dealing with them.
When we honor emotions, things shift.
It reduces tension and helps us find balance.
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Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence is “the ability to
perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”
Mayer and Salovey
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Using EI in NegotiationsEmotionally intelligent negotiators think with
emotions and about emotions throughout the negotiation process.
Aspiration levels define what people want to achieve. For an offer to be perceived by the other party as cooperative rather than competitive, it needs to be presented with a reason perceived to be logical.
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How do we bring change and opportunity?Determine why they want what they wantUse hypotheticalsReframe what you have heardAsk about fearsEngage people’s values as you entertain
possible outcomes.Develop principles or criteria for a good
outcomeAvoid engaging people’s standard central
processing
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What intangibles do people value highly?ListeningValidationRespectPraiseHelpGood humor and flexibilityGenuine concern for their welfare
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How to overcome impasseRemove barrier hypothetically
Don’t take “no” for an answer
Change the process
Be flexible about what constitutes an agreement