Calling

A PUBLICATION OF THE NEW YORK STATE FUNERAL DIRECTORS ASSOCIATION, INC.

April 2014

The

Surviving a

How Can Funeral Directors Help Families After

Suicide

Loss

Conten

ts

NYSFDA Officers

Francis “Joe” Martin, Jr.President

West Henrietta, 585-424-3700

Robert C. EnosPresident-Elect

West Seneca, 716-674-3636

Douglas R. BrueggemannSecretary / Treasurer

East northport, 631-368-1235

Timothy P. Doyle, CFSPimmediate Past President

Poughkeepsie, 845-452-0460

Beatrice E. Lewanduski, CFSPContinuing Past PresidentCopiague, 631-691-5700

Bonnie L. McCullough, CAEExecutive Director

800-291-2629

Randy L. McCullough, CAEDeputy Executive Director

800-291-2629

Bureau of Funeral Directing518-402-0785

new York State Funeral Directors association, inc.1 South Family Drive, albany, new York 12205

PHOnE: 800-291-2629 • FaX: 518-452-8667WEB: www.nysfda.org • EMaiL: info@nysfda.org

THE CaLLing is published by nYSFDa © 2014. all rights reserved. Please send all photos and story ideas to rana@nysfda.org. CLiCK HErE

for publication schedule.

Apr

il 2

014

President’s Message

In Remembrance

NYS Tribute Foundation

Classifieds

Calendar of Events

Free NYSFDA CEUs

Executive Director’s Message

Regional Meeting Schedule

Leadership Academy Spotlight

My Name is Ed . . .

VIDEO: Ed Munger

COVER STORY: Surviving a Loss

VIDEO: How Can Funeral Directors Help Families After Suicide Loss?

PHOTO SLIDE SHOW

Publications for Your Consumers

SNOW Fear!

My Craziest Tale at Work

NYSFDA Convention News

Tribute Foundation Scholarships

VIDEO: Tribute Scholarships

Human Resources Mail Bag

A Publication for Your Consumers

When Facts Don’t Matter

Directors Choice Credit Union

PrePlan Statements

INTERACTIVE SURVEY: Eulogies

i write this month’s message with a heavy heart. i lost someone i considered a friend on March 7, 2014. Many of you might remember him from our annual

convention in Saratoga Springs. His name was REV. DR. C. DAVID HESS [pictured at left]. He led our annual memorial service and gave the invocation and the benediction at our annual banquet.

i met David 16 years ago when he came to the WEST HENRIETTA BAPTIST CHURCH as an interim Pastor. Our funeral home had the honor of handling most of the funerals from his church. i liked David immediately. i always joked that it was because he came from a funeral directing family. His father and brother are funeral directors at the HANDLEY FUNERAL HOME in Danville, West virginia.

David did an excellent job on funerals, very personal and inspiring. The one question i would always ask when meeting a new Pastor was were they interested in helping with families that had no affiliation? He enthusiastically said yes. This turned out to be his greatest asset in my eyes. He was able to meet with a family for an hour or so and give a beautiful funeral. He would do a better job with a family like this than some Pastors that have known families for years. i said to many, ‘i would do anything i could to make sure David became the permanent Pastor.’ Well it happened and it started our 16 year friendship. The church was right next to Station #2 in our Fire District. David became the Chaplain for the WEST HENRIETTA FIRE DEPARTMENT and the HENRIETTA FIRE DISTRICT.

DearColleagues:

President’s Message

When i asked him if he would honor me by comingto our convention and banquet he bragged to hiscongregation about the invitation. after the convention he bragged to many about “hangingout” with us funeral directors. He thoroughly enjoyed Saratoga and being with us as a group.

But the most amazing thing he did was how he handled his impending death.

From the time he was diagnosed and when he died was only four weeks. He talked, e-mailed and called as many people as he could and thanked them for their relationship with him. His brother contacted me to convey David’s wishes for his funeral. Then during our conversation David got on the phone barely able to breath to let me know how much he appreciated our relationship throughout the years . . . awesome in my book. Would we or could we do the same thing if we were in the same situation? god speed my friend, i will miss you. The following quote summed up David.

Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don’t remember me at all.

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder Sincerely,

Francis “Joe” Martin, Jr.

“

News

A listing of friends of NYSFDA who have recently passed.

InRemembranceCLICK to view

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

CLICK to view

CLASSIFIED ADS

CLICK to view

THANK YOU to everyone who has donated to the NYS Tribute Foundation during the past year!

CLICK to view our donors

Free nYSFDa CEUs($199 for non-members)

1. EDRS Teleconference: Progress update on the NYS Electronic Death Registration System (EDRS) Thursday, April 10, 2014 • 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

NYS Director of Vital Records Guy WaRnER will provide a status update on the much awaited statewide EDRS. Warner is a key state policy maker — overseeing this initiative. This teleconference will provide 1 CEU.

2. nyS Final Disposition Law Webinar: A review of the law and its practical application Tuesday, April 22, 2014 • 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

NYSFDA’s RanDy L. McCuLLouGh and MaRiannE REiD will examine the four pillars of what comprise Section 4201 of the NYS Public Health Law – New York State’s groundbreaking “Final Disposition Law” that was enacted in 2006-07. These are the Next-of-Kin Hierarchy; Agent Designation Form and process; resolving family disputes; and securing greater liability protection for funeral directors. This webinar will provide 1 NYS Law CEU.

3. Roadmap to the affordable Care act for Funeral homes Webinar: Learn to navigate the health care law referred to as “Obamacare” Thursday, May 22, 2014 • 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

KRiSTa DRobaC knows health care! Drobac, a Policy Advisor in DLA Piper’s Health Care Policy and Regulatory group, based in Washington, DC, will provide strategic advice to funeral homes on how to take advantage of the Affordable Care Act. This webinar will provide 1 CEU.

CLICK HERE to Register

CLICK HERE to Register

CLICK HERE to RegisterEach training will conclude with a period for questions and answers from participants.

There will be no continuing education hours for attendance at the May NYSFDA REgIONAL MEETINgS.

Please keep reading in spite of that sentence. I know it didn’t make you happy.

There will be no CE hours because the purpose of the meeting is not education, it is deliberation. That deliberation is critical and represents in part what the future of funeral service will be in new York. it is about legalization of food and beverage in the funeral home.

These meetings and member discussions will inform the Board as to their next step regarding this important matter.

i understand that the issue is a fractious one, but oftentimes shining the clear light of day on something helps our belief systems to open up a bit. all of us, whether pro or con. it helps us to ask some pretty tough questions about the whys of the thing, and the wheres of our direction as a business. We can also ask how we get where we need to be.

i promise this will be an enlightening, enjoyable meeting (no weapons allowed). Frankly, it probably will be fairly educational.

But when deciding this critical issue, no one should be there just to get CE. They should be there because they’ve got “skin in the game”. They should be there

DearMembers:

Executive Director’s Message

because they think it’s an important discussion and they care greatly about having a say on the matter.

and these people who care deeply will create groups all across the state in May that will make everyone better for their coming together. The whole will indeed become more than the sum of its parts.

no, no CE hours. But you will truly be continuing your education.

Sincerely,

Bonnie L. McCullough, CaE

CLICK HERE to Register

Regional Meetings2014 LOCATIONS

Monday, May 12th

Region 9 - 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.• irish Coffee Pub, East islipRegion 8 - 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.• Laguardia Marriott, East Elmhurst

Tuesday, May 13th

Region 7 - 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.• The grandview, PoughkeepsieRegion 5 - 4 p.m. – 6 p.m.• Hampton inn & Suites, Saratoga Springs

Wednesday, May 14th

Region 6 - 9 a.m. – 11 a.m.• nYSFDa Offices, albanyRegion 3 - 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.• Double Tree by Hilton, Binghamton

Thursday, May 15th

Region 4 - 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.• Craftsman inn, FayettevilleRegion 2 - 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.• rick’s Prime rib House, rochester

Friday, May 16th

Region 1 - 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.• Courtyard Marriott Buffalo airport,

Cheektowaga

MEET MARY J. KINg• Robert M. King Funeral home – Granville, ny• Licensed Funeral Director since 2010

• President – adirondack FDa (yEaRS: From 2012 - Present)• Granville Rotary Club• St. Mary’s Roman Catholic Church – Eucharist minister• Granville area Chamber of Commerce• Slate Valley Garden Club

hoW Do you ConSiDER youRSELF SuCCESSFuL?

I measure success by the reaction and comments I receive from families we serve. Maya Angelou said, “I have learned that people forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This I carry always in my mind and in my heart when serving families. And if I can always base my business on that, I will forever be successful.

Spotlight

Member News

in youR oPinion, WhaT aRE ThE ThREE MoST SiGniFiCanT ChaLLEnGES FaCinG ThE FunERaL PRoFESSionaL ToDay?

1. Educating the public about the importance of funerals and funeral services.

2. Considering the economic climate, providing services for families that meet their emotional needs as well as their financial ability. They need to see that it is not always about the money, but about their emotional well-being as well.

3. Funeral Director education. I would like to help assist in the implantation of pertinent continuing education programs for funeral directors. We have perhaps reached a point where some of the education requirements in college programs need to be examined and reworked to keep more current. The profession is experiencing a great deal of change and our education needs to be a part of that so that we can effectively serve families.

FaVoRiTE LEaDERShiP QuoTE?

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

WhaT DoES bEinG a MEMbER oF ThE inauGuRaL CLaSS oF ThE nySFDa LEaDERShiP aCaDEMy MEan To you?

I am honored and excited about being a part of the inaugural class. I have been given an amazing opportunity to expand my own horizons and that of the industry. I look forward to learning the ways this can be possible and serving my fellow funeral professionals on so many levels.

Spotlight

My Name is

Ed . . . As NYSFDA has grown over the years to encompass more

services, we have also had the great privilege to grow our staff. We are pleased to welcome another face to our family! Edward Munger, Jr. (AKA Ed) is knowledgeable in a variety of functions including writing, copy editing, social media, and video production. Ed was previously a newspaper reporter in the Capital District, writing more than 5,000 stories and winning several prestigious awards from the NYS Associated Press Association. Ed will be assisting us with monthly writing/research assignments and web content, particularly our blog, www.sympathynotes.org. You can also follow his stories on TWITTER too @sympathynotes!

BY ED MUNgER, JR.

i just jumped off a fast-moving career as a newspaper reporter and landed in the communications office of nYSFDa. Fitting, i suppose, for someone who spent the last 15 years asking questions that people didn’t want to answer.

i’m no funeral director – but that doesn’t mean i’m unfamiliar with the topic, just ignorant. My senses take over when i ponder what i know about funerals. That thick aroma of funerary incense comes back to me, harkening up memories of “funeral duty” while serving as an altar boy at my grade school’s church.

Fast-forwarding to more than a decade as a newspaper reporter i realize i may fit in here at the nYSFDa because death and dying have been part of my life for quite some time. i’ve been too close to what’s left over after an airplane plummets to the ground and to the aftermath of a train smashing into a car, leaving children and a husband without mother and wife.

and i’ve been painfully close to people who just lost someone to brutal murder and to the wrath of Mother nature.

The look on people’s faces as they process losing their life’s work to flooding is etched on my mind, as is the wild gaze of those on the brink of losing their composure because they just can’t take the pain of losing a loved one and certainly don’t want to talk about it.

Each time i got too close to death i’d simply hope my empathy for those facing loss would carry me through enough to get “what i needed” for my

My Name is

Ed . . .

story. Sometimes i’d fail. Other times people would open up and describe their feelings. Then i’d hurry to the solitude of my car and cry, sometimes sobbing out loud, on my way back to the office to write my story.

Gone for me are the days of finding a secluded spot near a church so I could snag a photo of grieving relatives or a casket – seemingly to make sure newspaper readers knew what a grieving person or a casket looked like.

now i have to ask myself what happens when you set a former newspaper reporter loose inside an association of funeral directors. Some thoughts come to mind immediately – i wonder how many different words and phrases we use for the dead – and who decides which is most-appropriate.

it only took a couple of days to learn there’s a lot to know about the funeral profession and these men and women who spend their careers interacting, on a daily basis, with others facing a terrible time in their lives.

i was almost ashamed that i didn’t know the reason why we never have a beer or some cheese and crackers at a funeral – it’s because the law says you can’t. Will that be changing in the future?

also under discussion is the Eulogy – kind words about the person for whom a funeral was established which roman Catholic leaders say isn’t supposed to be part of a funeral service. Funerals are events for people to pray for the dead, they say, not for making the living feel better.

i’m not too sure about that perspective, and it makes me wonder how far we’ve come in devising ways to help people cope with the realization they’ll never get to hear somebody’s voice again.

I’ve been told we don’t deal with death very well in this country – it’s something people just don’t want to talk about. That makes me wonder if we’re just spending so much time enjoying life that we forget to think about death or if we’re just so afraid of dying ourselves.

it makes me wonder if we are doing enough to embrace the friends and family we have now – before we lose them. it makes me wonder if elements of american culture point to our aversion to death. What’s with this fascination with the “undead” like zombies and vampires?

My curiosity extends to other cultures – why is it Latin americans celebrate the “Day of the Dead” with trips to the cemetery while americans celebrate Halloween by handing out candy and hanging happy-looking skeletons around.

now we’re discussing how appropriate it is to take a “selfie” while at a funeral service.

and i want to learn how much money the government is making off of people dying – what’s this discussion over “Estate Tax?”

i know we take care to respectfully bury and remember our fallen – but i’ve also seen dozens of headstones kicked over in grand cemeteries, and forgotten graves deep in the woods. i wonder if they’re still kicking the remains of funeral pyres into the ganges river while folks in California suffer drought.

i’m curious to learn what is really killing the most people and what is the most common month, and the most common hour that people die.

There’s a lot of dynamic change underway as it relates to the dead and dying– some people are pushing for home-based funerals, others are looking to be as environmentally friendly as possible during burial.

and as the weather turns more-fierce every year, i wonder if we’re adequately prepared for mass-casualty incidents. is there enough room in existing cemeteries?

and is there some way i can prove this season’s upstate new York winter took two years off my life?

Death and dying, and what happens before and after are intense, deep subjects which consume the thoughts of everyone at one point or another.

and they’re topics that will consume the thoughts of this former newspaper reporter into the foreseeable future.

NYSFDA's Ed Munger boils down 15 years of newspaper reporting into one minute! Follow his journey on TWITTER @sympathynotes, or visit www.sympathynotes.org.

WatchtheVideo!

By MARIANNE REID

You see, my brother John – a married father of 2, respected entrepreneur at age 24 – died by suicide on a warm, sunny day back in 2007.

i had always known it’s basic human nature to strive to do the ‘right thing’ and make another’s burden lighter. But, i’ve learned that one of the worst feelings in the world is when you don’t know how to help. Sometimes our best intentions and desire to help just aren’t … enough.

i know that’s how i felt after John’s death. i knew how much i was hurting, and i certainly saw the raw emotion that was eating away at my parents. Yet, for months, all i could do was cry with them and do grocery runs to pick up the essentials – including tissues! Sure, we had friends and

Surviving a

March 29, 2014 marks the 7-year anniversary of when my world turned upside down.

Loss

New York Statefamily that immediately came to the house when they heard the news. We had casseroles and fruit baskets covering every inch of countertop and refrigerator space. We had an amazing funeral director who prepared my brother’s body for viewing and was attentive to our every need. Our mailboxes were overflowing with sympathy cards, and the church was bursting at its seams during the service.

But then, in a matter of days, there were no more casseroles. The sympathy cards were replaced with the regular junk mail. and the warm embraces at the funeral service were replaced by whispers and avoidance when we saw people we knew around town. reality sat in.

There’s so much stigma that still surrounds suicide. The last seven years have taught me that those who were insensitive at the time probably meant well but were just misinformed about grief and suicide.

i’m sure some people were afraid that suicide could happen in their family, to them, or to a friend. Other people might have been upset because suicide had already changed their lives. i know that most of them struggled with what to say. But to be quite honest, that silence was deafening.

That silence grew when my small community experienced two additional suicides over the next twelve months. Throughout that year, the burden grew so heavy that i just couldn’t bear to carry it myself anymore. i was determined to find someone who knew what this loss was like.

My family and i read every book we could get our hands on. We received cards from people who had also suffered tragic, unexpected losses, but none of them had experienced a suicide death. it wasn’t until i met another sister who had also lost her little brother to suicide that i began to feel that weight lifting from my shoulders. Still, i wish i was able to find support – for myself and my family – sooner.

i’ve had the amazing opportunity to meet hundreds of other families from all over new York State and the united States during the last seven years who know what this type of devastating loss is like – many of whose stories are like mine.

Over the last few weeks, three NYSFDA members have reached out to me for guidance on how to help a family they served who had lost a loved one to suicide.

LESTER gRUMMONS, DELI ROgERS, and KAREN DEVINE all found themselves wanting to help and to do the “right thing.” Learning that there are several great resources available throughout nYS – including support groups, outreach programs, articles for talking to kids about suicide, healing conferences, and other events - each of them were able to help ease the burden of grief for the families they served.

i only hope that over the next few months and years that the families i meet will tell me that it was their funeral director who told them about a local support group for survivors of suicide loss or provided them with information booklets on how to grieve a suicide death.

as someone who once sat at that arrangement conference in a complete fog, i can honestly say that my burden would have been lighter if my family and i walked away with materials specifically developed for us – survivors of suicide loss. The kind, supportive service we received from our family funeral director during the funeral services was great, but it didn’t eliminate the sleepless nights or blank stares at the wall when we didn’t know “what next.” i certainly wish i knew where to find support immediately following my brother’s death.

There’s still much to do to spread the word about helpful resources for survivors of suicide loss here in new York State. But i’m so proud that our nYSFDa members are leading that movement.

WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE

How Can Funeral Directors Help Families After

SuicideLoss

EDITOR’S NOTE: Marianne wears many hats both at work and within her community. She serves as assistant Director of government affairs and Director of the FAMILY ASSISTANCE COMMISSION at nYSFDa. Marianne joined the Capital region Chapter of the AMERICAN FOUNDATION FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION (aFSP) in 2008. She’s served as the aFSP board’s chairperson since 2009. Marianne coordinates the aFSP chapter’s survivor program and represents the chapter on the aFSP’s national Development Committee.

NYSFDA in

PHOTOS!

CLICK the THUMBNAIL to see a LARgER photo!

1. 2.

3. 4.

New York State

By HEATHER A. RAUCH, Licensed Funeral Director it can be assumed that very few funeral directors today can recall the trials and tribulations that came along with home removals by horse-drawn sleigh.

in our not so distant past, this task was a reality for funeral directors of the 1800s and come winter, the horse-drawn funeral coach was transformed into a funeral sleigh with

the addition of your standard, run of the mill funeral coach skis. The funeral director would receive the first call and head to the barn to prepare his removal stallions.

SnOW

Nobody disagrees that this year has been an usually long winter. A NYSFDA member shares her own perspective.

fear!

New York StateToday, we might see a funeral director hurriedly washing the hearse they meant to wash earlier in the day, now pre-removal, post-midnight, giving it the elbow grease, whereas funeral directors past would be frantically brushing their horses and spit-shining their sleigh. it makes me think for a moment before i start to whine about the cold trot across the parking lot from the funeral home to the garage to retrieve the state of the art hearse from the heated garage. With the upcoming weather forecast we have been dealt in beautiful new York State, it brings up the idea of too much snow. What happens if we have too much snow on the day of a funeral? My employer recalls a day, years ago when there was a State of Emergency declared on our town. unfortunately, family members were unable to get to the funeral home, the clergy members couldn’t get to the church and the grave digger was unable to locate the grave. The funeral was cancelled and rescheduled for another date. if you can multi-task like a funeral director, everything will work out just fine. it is a known fact that many cemeteries are forced to close during the winter months for a variety of reasons. i have heard things along the lines of; “We just don’t have anyone to plow” or “When the snow gets too deep, heavy equipment operators can’t see the monuments.” in these cases, what can we do? Thankfully, residents of new York State are often aware of that possibility and although re-living their loved ones death in the Spring is not always what families would prefer, they are accepting. EDITOR’S NOTE: new York State law requires certain cemeteries to perform interments throughout the year, most notably during the winter months. This 2007 law, initiated by nYSFDa, moved a long-standing State Cemetery Board regulation (directive) to State law, thereby giving this important regulation much greater strength and impact. LEARN MORE.

fear!

Let’s face it, when you work at a funeral home, weird stuff happens. All the time. One NYSFDA member (who will remain anonymous) shared his favorite tale. Do you have a funny, touching, our unusual tale you’d like to share too? We’ll include your story in an upcoming issue of THE CALLING. Don’t worry, all names can be changed to protect the innocent!

CLICK to share YOUR story!

Quirky Facts

MY

Craziest taLe AT WORK

“ The deceased wished to be buried NAKED after

the calling hours and service. For the viewing, he

was to be in the casket without pants, but with

the foot-end closed. Cremains of his favorite cat

were between the deceased’s legs. The deceased’s

daughter asked for the cremains to be nearer to the deceased’s

head. Callers had already gathered when i had to lift the lid

to retrieve the cat cremains. i did so as my co-worker stood

behind me with a casket spray to block any callers from being

traumatized by “the view.” and it worked!”

~ FOLLOWINg HIS WISHES, Somewhere in upstate new York

JOIN US FOr

CONVENTION aT turningStone August 10 - 13th, 2014

Continuing EducationnYSFDa’s 2014 annual Convention will be host to many great speakers and will provide you with chances to obtain up to a total of 12 hours of continuing education credit. get everything done in three short days. Watch your mail in the coming weeks for course descriptions and presenter bios!

Hotel InformationMake your hotel reservations directly with TURNINg STONE RESORT & CASINO. Please mention that you are with nYSFDa and you will get the discounted rates listed below. note, a deposit of one night’s stay is required. While the last day to make your reservation is JuLY 15th, nYSFDa is only guaranteed a certain number of rooms so when they’re gone – THEY’rE rEaLLY gOnE – reserve your room today!

• TOWER ROOM - $169 per night - CLiCK to view room details• LODgE SUITE - $249 per night - CLiCK to view room details

great Food! Turning Stone offers a variety of dining options for all tastes and budgets. above right are just some of the mouth-watering options. Click the restaurant name or photo to view a sample menu. reservations are suggested at Wildflowers, TS Steakhouse, Pino, and Peach Blossom . . . so book early!

WILDFLOWERS TS STEAKHOUSE

PEACH BLOSSOM

PINO

UPSTATETAVERN

TIN ROOSTER

EMERALDSEASON’S HARVEST

Yum!

TRIBUTE SCHOLARSHIP. in 2008, the Tribute Foundation Board created a scholarship program to award four scholarships each year to deserving students. in 2010, the Board voted to increase each scholarship to $3,250. Eligibility guidelines include:

• applicant must reside in the state of new York.• applicant must intend to serve residency and work with a new York funeral

home.• Scholastic status must be at least one of the following:

• a high school graduate who has been accepted in an accredited mortuary science program;

• a student enrolled in an accredited mortuary science program;• a mortuary science student working toward a BS degree in the

mortuary science field at an accredited mortuary science program.• applicant must submit a completed application along with a typed essay, most

current school transcript, and a minimum of two letters of recommendation. The essay content requirements are included in the application.

CLICK HERE for more information

Nominations Sought forTRIBUTE FOUNDATION

ScholarshipsThe application deadline is JunE 27, 2014.

New York StateSAMUEL Q. BAXTER SCHOLARSHIP. The Baxter Scholarship was created in 1985 to honor the memory of Samuel Q. Baxter, a man committed to education throughout his life. Mr. Baxter was profoundly involved with nYSFDa’s Education Committee and he was instrumental in starting the Mortuary Science program at SunY Canton and SunY Farmingdale. To honor him, the award is meant to provide financial assistance to qualified students in their second year of a Mortuary Science program. Students must be committed to completing their education and to serving the public in their chosen profession. For consideration, nominees must meet the following criteria:

• new York State resident;• Currently a second year student at an accredited nYS Mortuary

Science School;• Must intend to serve their residency in new York State; and• Exhibit strong potential for professional excellence in funeral

service.

all decisions are based on the nominations submitted by licensed nYS funeral directors and faculty of accredited mortuary science schools. a $500 monetary award will be presented at each nYSFDa annual Convention in august.

CLICK to Watch a Video to Learn More

To submit your question to the H.R. MAILBAG, contact

frank@nysfda.org.

HUMAN RESOURCES

Mail BagQ: When an employee gives a two-week notice of

resignation, is the funeral home required to honor it? Or can we make the notice date the last day of work?

a: Employers are not required to honor an employee’s resignation notice period. However, there are several issues to consider before making the notice date an

employee’s last day of work. The employee’s resignation would now be considered an involuntary separation from the company. This may entitle the employee to unemployment insurance benefits that he or she otherwise would not have been entitled to receive. You also may want to consider the impact this would have on your remaining employees. immediate separation could reinforce poor attitudes toward the funeral home and cause other employees to forego the practice of giving two weeks’ notice of resignation. in addition, you will want to consider whether company policy requires employees to give two weeks’ notice. if so, an employee could rely on the policy to support a wrongful termination claim if the employer made the resignation effective immediately. Written funeral home policies that “require” two weeks’ notice may compromise your at-will rights as an employer.

The information is not a substitute for professional counseling or advice. For more information, contact: frank@nysfda.org.

New York State

A PUBlIcATION for yOUR

consumersWhEn a PaREnT DiES:An Emotional Journey . . . A Path to Healing

This 6-page booklet is full of useful information for consumers dealing with the death of a parent. The extensive resource list at the end of the brochure provides phone numbers and Web addresses of services and agencies that can

assist them during their time of need. When A Parent Dies is a joint publication of nySFDa, and the nyS TRibuTE FounDaTion, inC.

CLICK to ORDER

This booklet (item #T-WaPD-01) is $1.50 for nySFDa members, $4.50 for non-members.

By Doug Pinkham

a recent New York Times article, “a Lonely Quest for Facts on genetically Modified Crops,” highlights the difficulty of making smart public policy in a low-trust world. Beyond merely chronicling the battle over gMO [genetically modified organism] legislation, it offers a case

study that ought to be taught at business schools alongside cases on finance, marketing and iT management.

The article tells the story of gREggOR ILAgAN, a member of the Hawaii County Council who was determined to make an informed decision when casting his vote on a proposal to ban genetically engineered crops on the island. The piece lays out the issue, the players and the stakes, and it provides context for the emotional debate over gMOs everywhere.

Public affairs is the art of managing one’s business environment. And sometimes that environment can be especially challenging.

WHEn FACTS DOn’T MaTTEr

introduced in May 2013, the proposed ban generated “more vocal support than any the County Council had ever considered,” Pulitzer Prize-winning correspondent AMY HARMON wrote. it pitted biotechnology firms, papaya farmers and the scientific community against food activists, organic farmers and many island residents, distrustful of gMOs.

Over several months, ilagan met with supporters and opponents, read countless academic journals, scanned news stories and consulted with scientists at the local office of the national agricultural research Service. His goal sounded simple: to sort out truth from fiction. reaching this goal turned out to be difficult, but the bigger challenge was getting people to listen to the facts he uncovered.

That’s the first lesson from the Times story: In an environment of distrust, having the facts on your side doesn’t mean you win the day.

Social psychologists have long known about the power of “confirmation bias,” the tendency to search for information or an interpretation of that information that confirms one’s beliefs. What’s different now is that the internet makes it easy to cherry-pick studies and data that support one’s biases. This is exactly what ilagan and his staff found when they double-checked the research offered up by proponents of the gMO ban. Yet his success in sorting out truth from fiction didn’t change anyone’s opinion.

That leads us to the second lesson of the article: Compelling narratives often trump fact-based arguments.

narratives appeal to emotions such as fear and anger. Proponents of

banning gMOs told stories about genetic contamination, the creation of “super weeds” in gMO fields, an increase in childhood allergies and the disappearance of butterflies and bees. Meanwhile, opponents of the ban spent most of their time playing defense, trying to dispel myths. in political campaigns and issue battles, “storytelling” has become the weapon of choice.

Ilagan’s struggle to sort the wheat from the chaff illustrates a third harsh reality: Public officials often lack the knowledge to make informed decisions. This is true at all levels of government. Given the demands of the office, how can elected officials and their staffs possibly keep up with scientific developments, or recent court decisions, the U.S. Tax Code, global business practices and countless other matters? The answer is they can’t, and they have no choice but to rely on advocates and outside experts for guidance.

Meanwhile, technology has given advocates tools to easily and cheaply demonstrate the strength of their following. They can encourage constituents to communicate with elected officials. They can use social media to coordinate efforts and spread the word. They can package their narratives for news outlets, which are always looking for attention-grabbing stories. all of these techniques, used effectively by proponents of the gMO ban, represent a fourth public affairs lesson: grassroots campaigns are becoming more effective at changing the dynamics of policy debates.

it’s possible, of course, to combat a grassroots campaign with one of your own. But success depends on more than one’s ability to get supporters to write e-mails to policymakers. it depends on who is on which side of an issue. if your allies have credibility, your message is more likely to have credibility too.

But this approach doesn’t always work. americans on the far left and far right both believe that big corporations will often put profits over people. When this suspicion is combined with fears of biotechnology, it’s hard to convince the public to keep an open mind. Concerns about business interests may overpower supportive statements made by independent scientists.

Harmon notes: scientists, who have come to rely on liberals in political battles over stem-cell research, climate change and the teaching of evolution, have been dismayed to find themselves at odds with their traditional allies on this issue. Some compare the hostility to gMOs to the rejection of climate-change science, except with liberal opponents instead of conservative ones.

“These are my people, they’re lefties, i’m with them on almost everything,” said Michael Shintaku, a plant pathologist at the university of Hawaii at Hilo, who testified several times against the bill. “it hurts.”

That is the fifth lesson of this case study: views of respected allies may be ignored if concerns about risk and trust are both elevated.

any one of these factors can make a policy issue extremely difficult to manage. in the case of gMO crops on the island of Hawaii, all of them came into play.

EDITOR’S NOTE: author, Doug Pinkham, is the president of the PUBLIC AFFAIRS COUNCIL (PaC). Launched in 1954, PaC’s mission is to advance the field of public affairs and to provide members with the education and expertise they need to succeed while maintaining the highest ethical standards.

HOW TIMEFLIES!DIRECTORS CHOICE has been in their

new offices now for a year! While we have a very good carrier, Postal regulations state that mail can only be forwarded for 12 months from the placement of the forwarding order. after that, mail will then be returned to the sender. This returned mail can take 2 weeks to get sent back through the mail route.

Whyisthisimportant?We are still receiving deposits and loan payments addressed to the old new Karner road office. Please note the correct address, write it on your older loan coupon books, and most importantly:

UPDATE the Payee information in your Home Banking site. The new address is: 1 South Family Drive, Albany NY 12205

additionally, you can call us to send out a supply of Pre-Paid envelopes. and if you have any questions or concerns about late payments, please give us a call.

Business Services

HOW TIMEFLIES!

DirectorsChoiceCU.com(800) 593-5920

Looking for a loan? We’ve got grEaT raTES!

DIRECTORS CHOICEHeld Their ANNUAL MEETINg on February 18th:

Chairman EUgENE M. gUARINO welcomed everyone to the 14th annual Meeting, and reported that 2013 has continued what has become a tradition of success. The MASSACHUSETTS FUNERAL DIRECTORS ASSOCIATION was added to the field of membership. DCCu received an increase on the Specialty vehicle Loan-to-value limit waiver from $1 million to $2 million from the NATIONAL CREDIT UNION ASSOCIATION (nCua), and also had another satisfactory NYS DEPARTMENT OF FINANCIAL SERVICES and nCua examination.

Secretary/Treasurer WARREN H. RILES, CFSP reported that in 2013, membership grew 3.39% and 67 new loans were disbursed for a total of $2,156,602. DCCu’s assets increased 18%, going from $6.30 million to $7.43 million. The loan portfolio of $4,499,004 represents 236 loans.

KENNETH g. gIEK and DAVID A. PARENTE were elected to the Board of Directors, each for a three-year term. EUgENE M. gUARINO was re-elected as Chair, WALTER J. KENT was re-elected as vice-Chair and WARREN H. RILES, CFSP was re-elected as Secretary/Treasurer. MICHAEL CUSHMAN and LESTER gRUMMONS fill out the rest of the Board.

PrePlan StatementsEach year PrePlan mails thousands of documents to consumers and member funeral homes. An overview of the most frequently generated statements and reports are listed below.

CONSUMER STATEMENTS

Consumer Welcome Letter:This letter accompanies the new account Statement. it gives the consumer important information about PrePlan, the security of their funds and a schedule for future statements.

New Account Statement: Per general Business Law 453, any entity receiving money in connection with a pre-need agreement must notify the purchaser in writing of the deposit of those funds and the institution it was deposited to within thirty days. PrePlan’s new account Statement is mailed to the consumer the day an initial deposit is received and the account opened. This statement shows the new account number, the amount of the initial deposit, the names of the beneficiary and purchaser, agreement type, funeral home and depository information.

Consumer Account Statement:This statement is mailed to the consumer whenever the following transactions are processed:

Business Services

RATE WATCHANNUAL NET CONSUMER YIELD

1.72%CURRENT CONSUMER NET YIELD

1.47%

WelcomeNewMembers!• Vedder & Scott Funeral Home, Montour Falls

• Omega Funeral Service, Mount Kisco

• Caribbean Funeral Service, Inc., Brooklyn

• additional deposit• Contract type change• Purchaser name or Social Security

number change• Plan amount change• Banking information change• Select Pay termination (in the case of an

account delinquency of over 180 days)

Account Inquiry Statement:an account inquiry statement can be generated at any time per the request of the consumer or funeral home, showing all relevant account information and the current balance in the account. Medicaid usually accepts this statement for re-certification as well. Consumers and/or funeral directors may download/print this statement via the PrePlan website, www.preplan.org.

Select-Pay Completion Statement:

This statement is mailed out to the purchaser when he/she makes the final payment on their Select Pay payment plan. it reflects the date of the last payment or completion date and the total Select Pay deposits.

grantor Trust Tax Information Statement:By the end of January each year, PrePlan mails out tax and activity statements to each accountholder in the trust. This statement shows the amount of interest earned on the account during the previous tax year. it also summarizes all activity, such as additional deposits or refunds.

Account Disbursement Notification:an account disbursement statement is sent to a third party, confirming the disbursement amount sent to the funeral home that performed the funeral services for the beneficiary. This third party would be the

purchaser if different from the beneficiary, the alternate listed on the agreement, or the informant per the death certificate.

FUNERAL HOME STATEMENTS

Funeral Home Transfer Statement:This statement informs a funeral home that one of its consumers has elected to have their future funeral services performed by a different funeral firm. a copy of a notarized transfer affidavit, signed by the purchaser, is attached. if another funeral home is selected at-need, a copy of the death certificate showing where the services were performed is attached for the original firm’s files.

Account Refund Notification:an account refund Statement is sent to the funeral home to advise them that a partial or full refund has been processed from one of their pre-need accounts. as the statement indicates, the refund check is sent to the purchaser if the account is revocable or to the new funeral home selected if the account is irrevocable.

Monthly Funeral Home Report:a monthly funeral home statement is mailed or provided via the PrePlan website to the funeral home. This statement provides current information on each PrePlan account in trust for that funeral home, and includes monthly and year-to-date funeral home statistics.

Funeral Home E-Pay Report:This report is a weekly summary of all disbursements paid to a funeral home during that week. The certified death certificates also accompany this report.

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roman Catholics in Ottawa, Canada are no longer permitted to deliver eulogies during funeral Masses, the local archbishop has decreed. Do you agree? READ MORE.

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