appreciative living learning circles week 1 of 4 · appreciative living learning circles we agree...

Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Week 1 of 4

[Version 5.0]

By Jackie Kelm Email: [email protected]

If you would like to facilitate your own Learning Circle, please visit:

www.AppreciativeLiving.com

If you are not registered to facilitate, please respect the integrity and copyright of this work by not copying or distributing the materials contained herein.

Table of Contents

Agenda……………………………………………………..……… 2 Opening Statement ………………………………….…….. 3 Operating Guidelines & Roles ……………….………… 4 Overview of Appreciative Living ………………..….… 6 Guiding Principles of Appreciative Living ………... 8 Appreciative Living 3‐Step Process …..………………. 9 Exercise: Question Your Stories ………….…..………. 10 Commitment for Next Week …………………………... 13 Learning Circle Valuation ………………………………... 14 Reading Preparation for Week 2 ……………………… 15

_____________________________________________________________________________________________ ©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free series on

“Getting Started with Appreciative Living,” and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 1

http://www.appreciativeliving.com/

Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Agenda

Facilitator Prep: • Determine what negative story the group will use for the exercise prior to the start of the Learning Circle. • Decide how buddies will be selected. Either let people choose on their own, or put names in a “hat” and pull pairs. • Have sign‐up process ready for buddies.

Start Time

Stop Time

Tot. Time

Description What to do

15 Opening Statement & Introductions

Read Opening Statement Introductions: Give your name, what you hope to get out of the Learning Circle, and one thing you are grateful for.

15 Operating Guidelines & Roles Read the Operating Guidelines & Roles, and answer discussion questions: 1. How will it help to not have an “expert” in the room? 2. How will these guidelines make our process more efficient and effective?

15 Overview of Appreciative Living Read the Overview & answer discussion questions: 1. What did you learn, or was interesting or new for you in this overview? 2. How does this apply to your life?

5 Guiding Principles & 3‐Step Model Read thru the Guiding Principles and The 3‐Step Model 15 Exercise: Question Stories Pt. 1&2 Do the exercise individually, then share your answers with the group 10 Report‐out on exercise Answer questions and discuss as a group:

1. What good can you now see in this situation that you were blind to before? 2. How could you use this exercise in your life right now to make it better?

10 Personal Commitment & Sharing Each person reflects, writes down, and then shares BRIEFLY: 1. What exercise(s) you will do this week, where and when. 2. How you are going to reward yourself for completing your exercises. 3. Whether you will participate in the Buddy System.

5 Learning Circle Valuation Answer questions and discuss as a group: 1. What did you find valuable in our Learning Circle today? 2. What suggestions do you have for making circle time even more valuable?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________ ©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free series on

“Getting Started with Appreciative Living,” and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 2

Opening Statement Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Welcome to the Appreciative Living Learning Circles. James Branch Cabell said, “The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” This quote is at the heart of Appreciative Living, which teaches you how to live in the best of all possible worlds. Today is the first of four gatherings where you will learn how to create more joy and success in your world. You’ll do this by learning to shift your thinking to notice more of what’s right and working in your life, and tap into your hidden strengths and potential. In later gatherings you’ll learn how to use appreciative questions and inspiring visions to propel you forward. These Learning Circles will not only give you the knowledge and tools to make powerful changes in your life, but also the support and accountability to help you follow‐through. Today’s circle agenda will be a bit different from the rest. We will begin by discussing the operating guidelines we are going to follow for the next four weeks so our circles will function smoothly. That will be followed by reading and discussing an overview of Appreciative Living, which should provide new insights and learning. Finally, we will try out an appreciative exercise you can use in your life right now, and you will have an opportunity to think about how and where you can apply it this coming week. In the next three gatherings we will dive deeper and explore a 3‐Step process created by Jackie Kelm to apply Appreciative Living to any situation. At the end of our four weeks together, you will understand how Appreciative Living can help you to create the best of all possible worlds.

Now it’s time to introduce ourselves. Torder around the circle. Please say:

• Your name • What you are hoping to get out• One thing you are grateful for

Stop

Notes: _________________________

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©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit ww“Getting Started” series, and ho

Introductions

he facilitator will go first, followed by each person in

of the Learning Circle

time: ______________

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w.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free w to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 3

Operating Guidelines & Roles Appreciative Living Learning Circles

We agree to follow these guidelines at every gathering.

What How 1. Start & end on‐time, and

keep to the agenda.

The agenda is thoughtfully designed to take you from insight to action, and each part plays a critical role in making this happen. It is important to stay on‐track to get through all of it.

2. What is said in the circle, stays in the circle.

Do not share what others say in the circle without their permission, but do share your own success stories outside the circle. They are incredibly helpful to others.

3. Be mindful of air time. Be aware of your sharing in the group and self correct if you are talking too much or contributing too little.

4. Success stories first, ideas second.

What really works is sometimes different than what we think will work. Ideas are helpful, but real‐life success stories are the richest and best source of information.

5. Find your answers within.

There are no “experts” or others in the circle who have your answer. You can learn from others, but ultimately you have to find your wisdom from within and learn to trust it.

6. Allow others to find their own answers.

Honor where others are and please do not give advice. We can never know what is right for another person. Advising others can distract you from doing your own work.

7. Look for the good in each other.

Adopt the mindset that you are going to focus on the strengths, potential, talents and any positive attributes you can find for each person in the circle, including the facilitator.

8. Do what works for you.

Participate and do the exercises with integrity in a way that sincerely works best for you. Allow others the same respect.

9. Open your heart.

Be open to positive ways of seeing your life, beliefs that take you higher, dreams you’ve hidden away, and miracles. Be open to changing your mind and to letting go. Be open to what is emerging in the circle. Be open.

10 Take Responsibility. With kindness, appreciation and love, take full responsibility for your life and where you want to go.

©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free “Getting Started” series, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 4

Roles Appreciative Living Learning Circles

The facilitator is a participant with additional responsibility for starting and ending the circle on‐time and guiding the group through the agenda. Participants are responsible for discovering their own answers by following the operating guidelines and applying the guiding principles.

Discuss your answe

1. Informationtogether, aHow will it answers?

(Notes):______

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2. How will theffective?

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©2009 Appreciative“Getting Sta

Discussion Questions: Operating Guidelines & Roles

rs to the following questions with the whole circle: will be provided through passages which the group reads and discusses nd the facilitator is as much a participant in this process as anyone else. help your learning to not have an “expert” in the room to provide

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ese Operating Guidelines make our time together more efficient and/or

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Stop time: ______________

Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free rted” series, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 5

Overview of Appreciative Living

By Jackie Kelm Appreciative Living is hard to define, because it is a paradigm or way of seeing the world. One way to describe it is through the use of a metaphor: Your life as a movie. Consider how you feel when watching a movie at a theater. If you watch a show that is sad and depressing, you tend to feel that way yourself. If you watch one that is uplifting and inspiring, you feel hopeful and good. An inspiring movie can even motivate you to change something in your life or appreciate it more. If you think of your life as a movie that is constantly playing in front of you on an imaginary screen, you’ll realize the same thing happens. When you “watch” a sad movie in your life by focusing on sad events, you feel sad and unmotivated. And when you pay more attention to what is working, possible and hopeful, you feel good and become inspired to make change. It’s really that simple. To take the movie metaphor a bit further, imagine there is a line going down the middle of your movie screen. One side is all the good things that exist in your life, such as your strengths, gifts, achievements, talents, hopes, creative ideas, solutions, dreams, successes, kind deeds, peak experiences, best practices, inspirations, and future possibilities (to name a few). The negative side contains your fears, worries, concerns, weaknesses, and failures, etc. And if you look even closer, you’ll see there are two curtains hanging on either side of the screen which are open and closed differently for each person. Some people have the curtain pulled almost closed on the positive side, so they literally cannot see the good things in their life. As a result, they experience a lot of negative emotion, which can range from depression and hopelessness to sadness and anger. They are also limited in their success because creative ideas, hidden talents and potential, and inspiration for change lie on the positive side. Being able to see what’s on the positive side of the screen is the key to success as well as joy. In Appreciative Living, Kelm explains how this idea is counter‐cultural:

In Western culture there is high value placed on problem‐solving and critical thinking, and many view the world through this lens. The habit is strong since we believe our very survival depends on it... If we continue to look for the good we will change our habituated way of seeing others so we automatically begin to notice the positive core attributes.i

There are in fact, some people who have the negative side of the screen closed off because it is too sad, scary or painful for them to look at the bad things. This is what we call denial, and is not what we are advocating. The negative side is important to pay attention to, and actually contains our biggest gifts for learning and change once we learn how to reframe it.


Overview of Appreciative Living (Cont’d)

Appreciative Living is about pulling the curtains wide open so we can see the totality of our life – both the positive and negative. Since most of us are culturally conditioned to pay more attention to the negative side, it takes deliberate effort and training to learn how to see the positive. That is what these Learning Circles help us do. So how do we pull the curtain back to see the good stuff? Neuroscience has some interesting answers. The brain is like a muscle, and as we learn from our culture to pay attention to the negative side, it becomes a pattern that literally gets hard‐wired through neuronal connections. To “re‐wire” our brains to think more on the positive side, we have to intentionally change our thought patterns and repeat them. You can think of these Learning Circles like taking your brain to the gym. Getting your mind in shape is very much like getting your body in shape. The readings, discussions and exercises provide the modified beliefs and thoughts you need to “pull back the curtain” and create new brain patterns biased towards the positive side. The exercises you will do both here and during the week help build and reinforce the new thought patterns. The group setting provides the emotional support and accountability to help you follow‐through. And don’t worry: You will not become a “Naive Pollyanna.” The opposite is actually true. It may seem ironic, but spending time on the positive side gives you the courage, inspiration, and motivation to deal with the “bad stuff.” And over time you’ll come to see the “bad stuff” will be your best guideposts to creating the “good stuff” once you understand how to work with it. The bottom line is that if you’re not as successful or feeling as happy as you’d like, you have probably formed thinking habits that focus heavily on the negative aspects of your life. If you want to feel better and be more successful, you have to pull back the curtain on the positive side and look for what is hiding there. These Learning Circles will give you the tools and support you need to do this, but ultimately it is up to you to make it happen. Discuss your answe

1. What did yo(Notes)_______

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©2009 Appreciative “Getting Star

Discussion Questions: Overview of Appreciative Living

rs to either of the following questions with the whole circle:

u learn, or was interesting or new for you in this overview? ________________________________________________________

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Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free ted” series, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 7

2. How (Notes)_

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Appreciative LivWestern Reservchange philosop Constructionist• We constr• Our story

Poetic Principle• We have p

on, expand• There is al

Anticipatory Pr• We anticip

live into th• We can de

Simultaneity Pr• The mome• Questions

Positive Princip• Focusing o• Building o

©2009 Appreci“Gettin

Discussion Questions: Overview of Appreciative Living (Con’t)

does this apply to your life? ___________________________________________________________

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Stop time: ______________

The Guiding Principles of Appreciative Living

ing is based on the Appreciative Inquiry work of David Cooperrider at Case e University. Cooperrider created 5 underlying principles for this organizational hy, which Jackie Kelm translated into personal living as follows:

Principle uct stories together with our thinking about what happens in our lives. is one perspective, and there are an infinite number of perspectives.

oetic license to create, interpret, and focus our stories, and whatever we focus s. ways a positive side to any situation or person, but we have to choose to find it.

inciple ate what the future will be like by forming pictures in our minds, and then we ose images. liberately change the future by visualizing what we want.

inciple nt we ask about something we simultaneously begin to move towards it. are a powerful tool for positive change.

le n positive aspects creates positive upward spirals. n strengths provides greater leverage for change than fixing weaknesses.

ative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free g Started” series, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 8

Appreciative Living 3‐Step Model After working with, practicing, and writing about these principles for years, Kelm came up with a simple 3‐Step process for applying these principles to any situation. The process follows:

In the weeks ahead we’ll explore this model and the principles further, but this gives you a sense of the whole. Next we are going to do an exercise that will give you an experience of what it’s like to approach a situation from an Appreciative perspective.

Stop time: ______________


This exercise will help yoff items on the negativpositive about them. It but that’s what we’re ganswer the questions athe other side. *The story we are goingTake a few minutes, an

1. Identify at leastway your life wi

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2. What lessons ca________________

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©2009 Appreciative Livin“Getting Started”

Exercise Part 1: Question Your Stories

ou pull the curtain back on a difficult situation. We can typically rattle e side of difficult stories, but have taken little time to look at what’s can be hard to find the good when we are so steeped in the negative, oing to do now. If you are new to this way of thinking it can be hard to t first. Over time it gets easier as your brain begins to “re‐wire” to see

to work today is: _________________________________________ d silently write your answers to the following questions:

one thing you are grateful for about this situation, and at least one ll be better because of it. _________________________________________________________

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n you learn (or have you already learned) from this situation? _________________________________________________________

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g, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free series, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 10

Exercise Part 2: Question Your Stories After everyone has answered the questions individually, discuss your answers as a group. Build on ideas while listening to each other and try to come up with as many positive aspects of this situation as you can. Keep the conversation focused on the good things. Here are two questions to begin the discussion:

1. What did you come up with for Part 1? (Notes)___________________________________________________________________

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2. What additional ideas are occurring to you as you listen to others? (Notes)___________________________________________________________________

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Stop time: ______________

* Facilitator Note – the economic downturn is a fairly pervasive negative story in the US right now that would work in many of those circles. If it does not apply to yours, you can use any situation that would be universally perceived as negative by participants in the circle.


Report‐Out on Exercise Discuss your answers to the following questions with the whole circle:

1. What good can you now see in this situation that you were blind to before? (Notes)___________________________________________________________________

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2. How could you use this exercise in your life right now to make it better? (Notes)___________________________________________________________________

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Stop time: ______________


Today we did an exercise thathe good side of a negative slearn from the experience. Part 1: Personal CommitmenResearch shows you are morwhen and where you will doHaving a “buddy” to hold yo Write your answers to the fo 1. As you reflect on your weehelpful? Two possibilities incfrom the day before and askdifficult situations arise. Wri_______________________

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2. Write down a meaningful _______________________

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3. Decide if you want to partmessage, email, phone call, e

(Buddy System Note: Buddiecan be put in a “hat” and punecessary for 3 people to woCircle has ended to decide ho

©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC“Getting Started” serie

Commitment for Next Week

t helps you “pull back the curtain” in difficult situations to see tory. You did this by asking what was good and what you could

t e likely to follow through on a task if you decide in advance it, and there is a meaningful reward attached to completing it. u accountable also increases your success rate.

llowing questions.

k ahead, when and where might the exercise we did today be lude taking time each morning to reflect on a difficult situation the questions, or to ask the questions in the moment when te down when and where you plan to do the exercise this week. __________________________________________________

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reward you will give yourself for completing your exercises. __________________________________________________

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icipate in the buddy system, where you exchange a text tc. with another person during the week.

Stop time: ______________

s can be selected in whatever way works for the group. Names lled out in pairs, or people can self‐select their buddies. It may be rk together with odd numbers. Buddies meet after the Learning w and when they will communicate during the week.)

. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free s, and how to start your own learning circle. Ver. 5.0 Pg. 13

Commitment for Next Week (Cont’d)

Part 2: Sharing of Commitment Sharing your intentions for the week with the group is an additional way to create accountability and help insure your success. Take a minute now if you wish, and tell the rest of the circle participants the following:

1. What exercise(s) you will do this week, where and when. 2. How you are going to reward yourself for completing your exercises. 3. Whether you are going to participate in the buddy system this week or not. If you

are, add your name to the buddy list.

Stop time: ______________

Learning Circle Valuation This is your opportunity to get what you want and need in these circles. Please share your answers with the whole circle to either or both of the following questions: 1. What did you find valuable in our Learning Circle today? _________________________________________________________________________

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2. What suggestions do you have for making our circle time even more valuable? _________________________________________________________________________

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Stop time: ______________

Reminder: Buddies need to meet following Learning Circle


Reading Preparation for Week 2

Reading from either book as follows will increase your understanding of this work and how to apply it beyond the Learning Circles. Note: This is the heaviest reading week.

The Joy of Appreciative Living: Your 28‐Day Plan to Greater Happiness in 3 Incredibly Easy Steps (Provides a more practical explanation of the principles that reads like a self‐help book. Does not include the 3‐step model beyond 2 pages in the appendices.)

• Chapter 1: The Story Behind the Study (pgs. 3‐12) • Chapter 2: The Constructionist Principle (pgs. 13‐22) • Chapter 3: The Poetic Principle (pgs. 23‐36) • Appendix A: What is Appreciative Inquiry? (pgs. 159‐160) • Appendix C: Appreciative Living 3‐Step Model (pgs. 171‐172) (37 total pages for those who want to read a certain number of pages per day.)

Appreciative Living: The Principles of Appreciative Inquiry in Personal Life (Provides a deeper and more extensive explanation of the principles and the 3‐step model. Borders on being academic.)

• Introduction (pgs. 1‐5) • Chapter 1: The Constructionist Principle (pgs. 9‐30) • Chapter 2: The Poetic Principle (pgs. 31‐52) • Chapter 7: Appreciating‐Imagining‐Acting Process (pgs. 145‐155) (59 total pages for those who want to read a certain number of pages per day.)

Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com to:

• Get your free 3‐part e‐series on “Getting Started with Appreciative Living.” • View helpful links and free articles on topics such as health, career, and parenting. • Purchase books, CD’s, “Appreciative Living in a Bag,” and other products. • Sign up for workshops, teleclasses, and more. • Find out how to start your own Learning Circle • Access member‐only areas including forums and advanced topics (coming soon).

i Kelm, Jacqueline. (2005). Appreciative Living: The Principles of Appreciative Inquiry in Personal Life. Wake Forest, NC: Venet Publishers, p. 34 & 107.


http://www.appreciativeliving.com/

appreciative living learning circles week 1 of 4 · appreciative living learning circles we agree...

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