ANGER IN TEENSHelp for Parents

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Contents

Wilderness Therapy: Help For Parents of Angry Teens 4

Anger in Teens: A Phase or a Problem? 5

Causes and Contributing Factors to Anger in Teens 5

10 Signs Your Teen’s Anger Is Out of Control 6

How Parents Can Help Their Angry Teen 7

Wilderness Therapy as Treatment for Anger in Teens 9

How Parents Can Support Their Teen Through Wilderness Therapy 11

Conclusion 11

Resources: 12

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In this white paper, we will provide an overview of anger and defiance in teens, signs that your teen’s

anger is out of control, how parents can help manage their teen’s anger, and discuss wilderness ther-

apy as treatment. This white paper is intended to be a resource for parents, guardians, and teachers

of teens struggling with anger and defiance.

Wilderness Therapy: Help For Parents of Angry TeensThe teenage years are a challenging time for any parent. Teenagers can be notoriously moody, reckless, and

unpredictable. However, for parents of teens with defiance anger issues, these years can be especially difficult.

Many parents of angry teens worry about their son or daughter’s whereabouts or may fear when they will have

their next episode or bout of rage. While many troubled teens with anger issues require professional treatment,

there are several steps parents can take to help manage their teen’s anger. With proper support and treatment

from both inside and outside the home, teens can learn new ways to manage their anger and find success and

happiness in life.

1. Anger in Teens: A Phase or a Problem?

2. Causes and Contributing Factors to Anger in Teens

3. 10 Signs Your Teen’s Anger Is Out of Control

4. How Parents Can Help Their Angry Teen

5. Wilderness Therapy as Treatment for Anger in Teens

6. How Parents Can Support Their Teen Through Treatment

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Anger in Teens: A Phase or a Problem?The behavior of teens with anger and defiance issues exhibit extend far beyond the typical eye-rolling,

slammed doors, and arguments between teen and their parent. Anger is a normal part of adolescence and can

be a healthy emotional response to outside stressors. Anger is a secondary emotion for teens as it often masks

other underlying issues including sadness, hurt, fear, and shame. When these underlying emotions become too

much, a teen will often respond by lashing out. Because adolescence can be stressful, most teens will lash out

from time to time. However, for teens with anger issues, emotional outbreaks are a regular occurrence.

Teens with serious anger issues are consumed with anger. These individuals can be defiant and may turn to

violence, self harm, risky behavior, and illegal activity as a way to cope with their strong emotions. They may

lash out with anger in response to outside stressors or an untreated or undiagnosed mental disorder. In the

sections below, we will define common causes a teen defiance and the behaviors and patterns that fall outside

of normal.

Causes and Contributing Factors to Anger in TeensThere are many factors that can contribute to anger issues and defiance in teens. Every teen’s emotional

regulation skill set, capacity and maturity is different. Some teens simply need more help in learning how to

healthily manage their emotions and cope with stress. Other teens experience intense anger as a symptoms

of a mental health issue, traumatizing life experience, or simply from the stress and pressures of adolescence.

Some of these common triggers of severe anger in teens include:

• Low self-esteem

• Victim of bullying

• Conflict within the family

• Traumatic event

• Death of a loved one

In addition to the above list, an unresolved issue such as depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactiv-

ity disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder can contribute to anger issues in teens. These disorders often

impact social skills, self control, and impulse control which results in a teen being more prone to having angry

outbursts.

• Adoption issues

• Substance Abuse

• Divorce

• Abuse

• Grief

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10 Signs Your Teen’s Anger Is Out of ControlIf a parent is concerned about the level of anger and defiance a teen is exhibiting, the first step is understand-

ing what behaviors are normal for teens and which behaviors may indicate a more serious issue. If your teen is

exhibiting one or more of the following behaviors, they likely have anger issues that require external help.

1. Physical Aggression or Violence

2. Excessive arguing with parents, teachers, and peers

3. Regular emotional outbursts

4. Irrational thinking and behavior

5. Bullying

6. Verbal threats

7. Cruel behaviors to people or animals

8. Criminal activity

9. Destroying property

10. Self-harm

Any of the above behaviors are a red flag that your teen’s anger issues require professional treatment, in addi-

tion to parental support. If your teen’s anger extends beyond normal response to outside stressors and exhibits

one or more of the above behaviors, the next step is to lay a parenting plan in place and consult with his or her

physician.

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How Parents Can Help Their Angry TeenWhile parenting a defiant or angry teen is extremely draining for parents, there are several key steps parents

can take to help ease the contention and strain within home. Teenagers lack the emotional maturity and stabil-

ity and therefore significantly rely on their parents to give them the help and direction they need. It is essential

that parents do the best they can to love and support their teen while still keeping in mind that they cannot

control their teen’s emotions or actions. The best thing parents can do is provide their teen with proper sup-

port within the home and seek appropriate external treatment to help the teen learn how to manage his or her

emotions.

Create Boundaries and Expectations for Your Teen

Defiant and angry teens need clear rules that are tied to a clear consequence when he or she breaks the rule.

Establish these rules and expectations during a calm time. Have a conversation with your teen so they know

what to expect when the said rules are broken. Explain to your teen that these rules are to help keep him or

her safe and free from harm. Express your love for your child.. Even angry teens want to know that their parents

love and care about them.

Talk to Your Teen

Parents of angry teens may find it difficult to talk and communicate with their teen through the outburst and

contention. During times of peace or once a teen has calmed down from their outburst, parents should try and

talk to their teen about what is really bothering them. If the teen is willing to speak or share, do not judge or try

and correct your teen. Simply listen to him or her without becoming angry.

Encourage a Healthy Lifestyle

Encourage a healthy lifestyle of physical exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep. Creating a healthy lifestyle

routine for your teen helps fosters good behavior in children and teens. This includes setting regular mealtimes

and bedtimes, a set time to check-in with your teen, and regular exercise. Most of all, make sure your teen gets

enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can increase stress, mood swings, irritability, and can also cause problems

with weight, memory, concentration, and decision-making. All teens should get between 8-10 hours of sleep.

Many parents find it helpful to achieve this having teens turn in their electronics two hours before bedtime to

eliminate distractions.

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Limit Technology Use

Parents should not just limit technology at bedtime. The overuse of technology or screen time is unhealthy for

any teen. Too much screen time can not only aversely affect your teen’s sleep, it can also lead to irritability. Par-

ents must monitor their teen’s technology use to ensure they are not consuming violent tv shows, videogames,

movies, and music as they increase the likelihood of outbursts and violent behavior.

Encourage Your Teen to Find a Hobby

Hobbies can help teens manage their negative emotions. Parents of an angry teen should encourage their son

or daughter to participate in a hobby that will serve as an outlet for anger. This includes anything from sports,

weight lifting, journaling, music, yoga, cooking, art, and horseback riding.

Set a Good Example for Your Teen

One of the best ways parents can teach their teen healthy coping patterns and emotional regulation is by

example. In times of stress make sure you display healthy and appropriate responses and that you stay as calm

and as rational as possible, even when your teen is extremely difficult and defiant.

Have Reasonable Expectations for Your Teen

Perfection from teens is not reasonable. A teenager’s brain is continually developing and changing until about

the mid-20’s. Therefore, a teen’s brain will process information much differently, including the way a teen man-

ages their emotions and make decisions. Hormones can further complicate things. While these factors should

not serve as an excuse for bad behavior, it is important parents keep these biological differences in mind. In

many ways, teens are still learning and consequences provide learning experiences to help their brain and

judgement develop. Parents of angry teens should maintain age-appropriate expectations for their teen and

nothing more. For help in knowing what is reasonable to expect, see neuropsychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel’s book,

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain.

Spend Quality Time With Your Teen

Every teen wants to be unconditionally loved and accepted by their parents, even when they do not show it.

Take the time to spend quality time with your teen doing an activity they enjoy. During this time, just focus on

loving, validating, and being positive about your teen and their strengths. Reassure them how much you love

them both in word and in deed. Even if a teen is angry or negative towards you, deep down they are likely feel-

ing unlovable and insecure. Give your teen your undivided attention to reassure them that you love and care.

Don’t get frustrated if your teen resists your efforts. Just continue trying. Remember, the objective is to simply

build a relationship with your teen and support them in the ways they need it most.

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Wilderness Therapy as Treatment for Anger in TeensWhile the support parents provide to their teen at home is incredibly important, severe cases of teen anger

require more intensive treatment. The best thing parents can do for their son or daughter is provide them with

the professional help they need. It is important that teens learn healthy coping mechanisms now so their anger

does not consume them or hinder them in their adult life. To achieve this, many parents turn to wilderness

therapy.

Researcher Keith C. Russell defines wilderness therapy as “Utilizing outdoor adventure pursuits and other

activities, such as primitive skills and reflection, to enhance personal and interpersonal growth.” A credible wil-

derness therapy program will teach a defiant teen how to manage their anger from an loving and experienced

clinical team in a therapeutic wilderness setting. These two factors, among others, enable wilderness therapy to

help teens with anger issues in a way that talk therapy cannot.

A Therapeutic Wilderness Setting for Teens with Anger Issues

Wilderness therapy utilizes the natural benefits of the outdoors to help angry teens heal and grow. Studies

show that simply being outdoors has mental health benefits. In addition, the new and novel environment of

wilderness therapy is ideal for establishing new patterns and ways of coping in defiant teens.

Wilderness Adventure Therapy Promotes Healthy Habits for Teens with Anger Issues

A credible wilderness adventure therapy program provides regular opportunities for teens with anger issues

to establish healthier patterns and behaviors. A credible wilderness therapy program will create a schedule so

that participants participate in regular exercise, receive good nutrition, and healthy sleep. These provide angry

teens with a healthy mind and body that will be more receptive to learning new patterns.

Wilderness Therapy Strengthens Social Skills in Teens with Anger Issues

The therapeutic group experience of wilderness therapy helps teens with anger issues refine their social skills.

Angry teens often feel misunderstood but wilderness therapy allows them to connect with other teens who

are facing similar issues. These daily interactions in a variety of situations can greatly improve a defiant teen’s

interpersonal skills.

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Wilderness Therapy Provides Angry Teens with Personalized and Specialized Help

A credible wilderness therapy program will support the teen with a caring and professional team of therapists

and field staff to support the teen’s journey. Wilderness therapy participants are able to learn healthy ways to

cope with their anger from the experienced therapists who specialize in working with troubled teens. The clini-

cal team of a credible wilderness adventure therapy program are trained to get the bottom of a teen’s anger

issues and provide them with the exact tools they need to work through it.

Wilderness Therapy Teaches Defiant Teens Cause and Effect

Wilderness adventure therapy utilizes “ in the moment” or experiential therapy, so students can see, feel, and

touch what they are learning. Assessing the hidden emotions behind the anger are easier to reach. Experien-

tial therapy is especially effective for teens with anger issues to take responsibility for their actions and learn

about consequences. Instead of lecturing teens about their anger and poor decisions, wilderness therapy

utilizes natural consequences to demonstrate cause and effect in a very real and immediate way. For example,

if a teen chooses not to build their tent or if they do not build it properly, they will get wet when it rains and

get sleep horribly. Such experiences teach a teen that they their choices have consequences that only they are

responsible for.

Wilderness Therapy Gives Teens with Anger Issues Self-Confidence

Wilderness therapy puts teens with anger issues in situations that allows them to feel confidence and success

in a variety of different environments. Participating in adventure activities from mountain biking, rappelling,

and hiking, teens are able to achieve things they never thought they could do. In turn, they become more con-

fident and positive individuals who know they come overcome hard things. This self-confidence is key for teens

who experience anger as confidence is linked to positive thinking skills as well as a lower vulnerability to stress

and depression.

If you decide wilderness therapy is the best option for your teen with anger issues, it is important that you do

your research to ensure you are selecting a credible wilderness therapy program for your teen.

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How Parents Can Support Their Teen Through Wilderness TherapyEven when a teen is away at wilderness therapy, they still need the love and support from their parents. Con-

tinue to strengthen and improve the relationship you have with your son or daughter by sending letters and

calling them. Let them know you are there for them and that you are always available to listen.

After addressing necessary issues, focus on the future without shaming them for past choices. Allow your teen

to share their experiences and growth without judging.. Parents should also keep the lines of communication

open with their teen’s therapists so they stay informed and current about their teen’s progress and what they

are currently working through. Staying informed and involved with your teen’s treatment program is vital to his

or her success.

While your teen is away, continue learning about your teen’s issues and diagnosis. Consider your teen’s situ-

ation and learn more about how to help. Doing so will not only help you better understand your teen but can

also help you know how you can best help your teen after treatment.

ConclusionWhile some parent-teen conflict is normal during the teenage years, there comes a point where anger turns

from an emotional response to a level of constant contention that must be addressed promptly. This process

can be extremely draining, difficult, and heartbreaking for parents. No matter how hopeless a parent may feel,

and no matter how much turmoil you and your teen are facing, with proper care and support, things can and

will get better. A credible wilderness therapy program can provide your teen with healthier coping patterns,

confidence, and the tools they need to manage their anger and find joy and success in life.

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Resources:Golden, Bernard. Healthy anger: How to help children and teens manage their anger. Oxford University Press, 2002.

LAMB, JACQUELINE, and KATHRYN R. PUSKER. “School‐based Adolescent Mental Health Project Survey of Depres-sion, Suicidal Ideation, and Anger.” Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing 4.3 (1991): 101-104.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/parenting-angry-teens/

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/teen-issues/helping-troubled-teens.htm

http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-angry-adolescent-a-phase-or-depression-201209105272

This white paper was sponsored by Aspiro Adventure, the pioneer of Wilderness Adventure Therapy. Aspiro Adventure offers safe, effective, and clinically-sophisticated treatment options for adolescents and young adults.

About Aspiro Adventure

Aspiro Adventure Wilderness Adventure Therapy program was uniquely crafted to assist students and their

families in creating lasting, life-long emotional changes through compassionate, intentional, research backed,

and safe outdoor adventure therapy programs. The professionals at Aspiro Adventure understand individuals

don’t come with instructions, and every student is unique, capable, and amazing in their own right.

Aspiro Adventure focuses on helping adolescents, young adults, and their families through difficulties that

occur when various behavioral, cognitive, or developmental issues are present. Research shows that engaging

individuals on a personal level with strategic and intentional activities will aid in developing the tools and skills

necessary to engage life in a healthy and positive way.

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