amusing comments about marriage
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You have two choices in
life: you can stay single
and be miserable,or get married and wish you
were dead
Getting married is very much like going
to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then when
you see what the
other person has,
you wishyou had
ordered that
At the cocktail
party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you
wearing your
wedding ring on the
wrong finger?" The
other women
replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband
said to his wife, "You
know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied,
"Yes dear, but I was in
love and didn't
notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husbandwanted". Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the
samething: "You
can have mine."
The bride, upon
getting engaged,
went to her mother
and said, "I've found a man just
like father!"
Her mother replied, "So whatdo you
want from me,
sympathy?"
When a woman steals your
husband,
there is no
betterrevenge than to let her
keep him
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he isfinished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much
doesit cost to
get married?" And the father
replied, "I don't
know son,I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't
know his wife until
he marries her? Dad:
That happens in
every country,so
n.
Then there was a man
who said, "I never knew
whatreal
happiness was until got married; by then it was too late."
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my
husband a millionaire. "
"And what was he
before you married
him?" askedthe friend. The woman replied, "A
billionaire."
Marriage is the triumph
of imagination
overintelligence.
A Second Marriage
is the triumph of hope over
experience.
If you want your spouse
to listen and pay strict
attention to every word
you say, talk in your
sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for
marriage, men would
gothrough life
thinking they had no faults
at all.
You know the
honeymoon is pretty
much over when youstart to go out with
the boys on Wednesday nights, and
so does she.
According to test surveys,
when making love,
most married men
fantasise that their
wives aren't fantasising.
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
How do most men
define marriag
e? A very
expensive
way to get your laundry done for
free.
The most
effective way to
remember your wife's
birthday is to
forget it once.
First guy (proudly):
"My wife's an angel!" Second
guy:"You're lucky, mine's still alive."