amusing look at local government

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Page 1: Amusing look at local government
Page 2: Amusing look at local government

Once upon a time there was a Council rowing team

Page 3: Amusing look at local government

The Council and a company from the private sector agreed to hold a race. Each boat would contain eight men.

Page 4: Amusing look at local government

Both teams worked really hard to get into the best shape. On the day of the race, both teams were in a similar condition. The private company team won by one mile.

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FINISH

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The mood in the Council team was really close to freezing point. The top management decided to win the race next year. So they established a committee of analysts mostly internal but with representation from each service, the stakeholders and a member…oh, and some guy who knew something about rowing (he’d been on a boating lake when at school). Their remit was to observe the situation, do a risk analysis (ensuring each risk was marked red, amber or green) and recommend an appropriate solution.

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After several weeks of detailed analysis, the committee found that the private company team had seven rowers and only one captain.

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Plc.

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…and the Council team had 7 captains and only one rower.

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DC

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Facing such a critical scenario the management showed unexpected wisdom: they hired a consultancy to restructure the Council team.

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After several months the consultants came to the conclusion that there were too many captains and too few rowers in the Council team. A solution was proposed based on this analysis: the structure of the Council team had to change

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…as of today, there will be only four captains in the team led by two Directors and a new Head. Besides that, they suggested that the Council improve the rower’s working environment, ensure his work/life balance is OK and offer a reward and recognition scheme to incentivise high performance and maximise impactfulnessisation (or any other new word the Council can think up). There will be a 5-day workshop for the rower.

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AC

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The next year, the private company team won by two miles.

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FINISH

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The Council management dismissed the rower from the team (following a long and drawn out competency and capability procedure, followed by a voluntary severance package), on the grounds of his unsatisfactory performance.

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…but a bonus was paid to the management team for the strong leadership and motivation that the team had showed during the preparation phase

£

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Performed by ROCE

The consulting company prepared a new analysis which showed that the strategy was good, the motivation was O.K, but the tool used was sub-standard and had to be improved

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Currently, a new Council out-of-focus group has been formed and is having a new boat designed. Human Remains (HR) have advertised nationally for a new rower for the next race in June. Assessment centres will take place in May.