the grinch stole print

Every Who down in Print-ville Liked printing a lot…

But the Grinch Who lived outside of Print-ville Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Print! Paper and ink! Don’t ask why he raised such a stink! 

Perhaps it’s the deadlines Tight budgets and stress Clients don’t get the reasons We’re under duress 

And those Whos run around Always in pairs How many times Can they go up those stairs?

Those cameras flashing Those loud shutters snapping All the noise kept the Grinch From his afternoon napping

It drives the Grinch crazy That’s what I hear They’re needing their signs About Tecate beer Deadlines are nearing For floor mats and gear.

Direct mail seems To make his skin crawl But I think the most likely reason of all May have been that his mailbox Was two sizes too small.

The Grinch was determined to stop Print from coming With his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, he thought “I must find a way to stop presses from running!”

But the Whos kept purchasing photos and more, Hanging Dole outdoor, fifty times four

Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

While the Whos were away On a press ok The Grinch came and took Their goodies away.

He slithered and slunk Around with his presence Scanning the room Then did something unpleasant

He slithered and slunk Around with his presence Scanning the room Then did something unpleasant

He slithered and slunk Around with his presence Scanning the room Then did something unpleasant

He slithered and slunk Around with his presence Scanning the room Then did something unpleasant

All of the sudden Things disappeared Ice machine,

All of the sudden Things disappeared Ice machine, snack machine

All of the sudden Things disappeared Ice machine, snack machine Heineken beer

The wall with the yearbook pictures was bare

The wall with the yearbook pictures was bare Pele’s jersey was no longer there

The Atrium’s closed There’s nothing to say Now even the taco truck Can’t come their way

As deadlines approached, The Grinch stood there grinning The Pepsi machine Was noticeably missing

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the PK’s feast! He took Kaitlyn’s pudding! He took Kent’s roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox And made it a habit Every Friday it happens If you leave it, he grabs it! 

He caused such a clatter On the 26th floor But the Whos kept on working They worked even more

The one thing he left Made him not quite so mean Was the coffee pot maker And lots of caffeine

So the Whos down in Print-ville Never dropped the ball They were still writing spec sheets POs and all!

They worked without varnishes No special inks They worked without die cuts Without ice in their drinks

They worked without conference rooms No storage for files They spreaded their samples All over, in piles

And the Grinch, with his Grinch grin All in ‘the know’ Stood puzzling: How could it be so?

Then the Grinch realized… He hadn’t stopped presses from running they ran! For 7-11, they ran, ran, ran. And the Whos kept on working As only Whos can!

Direct mail kept coming Coasters, posters and more! Levi’s banners and pole toppers And floor graphics galore!

They checked all the press sheets For tight registration And checked all the folds For correct pagination

Checking the guidelines With maximum care, And the AT&T logo To make sure it was there

What they realized was this The clients know better It takes more than Creative To deliver the letter

Print doesn’t magically come to your door It comes from what’s left of the 26th floor!

He hadn’t stopped printing from coming, it came Some how or other It came just the same

Why it came with hard work That’s nothing new All you need is a laptop And a thank you or two

His attitude changed in such a way Why the Grinch’s small mailbox Grew three sizes that day!

He brought back the jersey The snack machine, more He just put them back On the 27th floor!

The presses kept running They ran, ran, ran Even the Grinch himself Held a loupe in his hand

Why they printed and shipped All day and all night,

The hours were brutal And they still didn’t gripe

And what happened then? Well… in Print-ville they say

The Grinch felt endeared And mural appeared!

If you ask the right questions It’s not such a chore Just use your access card To come through our door

So you see little Whos It’s going to be fine Random requests? Crazy turnaround times?

I’ll keep drinking Expensive red wine We’ll deliver on budget And even on time.

THE END