payah by margaret h.l. lim
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D e d i c a t e dto the memory
of my father Michael Lim Beng Huat,
who loved Ulu Belaga and its gentle people,
and my grandmother Chee Sung Fung,
who loved us above all else.
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Published in Malaysia by Fairy Bird Childrens
Books Sdn. Bhd. 2005
Text Copyright Margaret H.L. Lim 2005
Illustrations Copyright Su Jen Buchheim 2005
All characters in this publication are fictitious and
any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is
purely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
No part of the contents of this book may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or
otherwise, without prior written permission of the
publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form
of binding or cover other than that in which it is
published and without a similar condition
including this condition being imposed on the
subsequent purchaser.
Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia
Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Lim, Margaret H. L.Payah / Margaret H. L. Lim
ISBN 983-42638-0-5
1. Childrens stories, English.
2. English fiction. I. Title.
823
Manufactured in Malaysia
Cover and Book Il lustrations by Su Jen Buchheim
Cover and Book Design by J une Wan of Dreamagic
Fairy Bird Children's Books Sdn. Bhd. (691175-H)
Riverbank Suites, Unit #1005
J alan Tunku Abdul Rahman93100 Kuching, Sarawak
www.FairyBirdBooks.com.my
A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S
I am forever indebted to:
Mary Lian, from the Highlands of Bario, for
helping me give Payah her name; my
brothers, William and Philip, for their
invaluable support - thanks, Liam, for
opening all the necessary doors; my sister
Aileen, who patiently did the thankless task
of editing and proofreading; my nephew
Waldemar, who not only had a lot of ideas,
but also liaised, translated and chauffeured;
Puan Rashidah Bolhassan, CEO of the
Sarawak State Library, whose boundless
enthusiasm for PAYAH gave me the courage
to go this far; Henry Kilah Talek of Belaga,
for his advice on Kayan family relationship,
and the naming of Payah s great aunt - any
inaccuracy in this book is mine alone; Datin
Ruby Chin, a childhood friend, who tirelessly
answered many questions; cousin J ohn, for
rustling up all the contacts; my own family,
without whom, this book would not be
possible.
A b o u t t h e a u t h o r
Margaret H.L. Lim, born in Kuching, Sarawak,
was educated at St.Teresas Convent School
for Girls, and St.Josephs School in Kuching.
She has a B.A. in English from the University
of British Columbia in Vancouver, B.C., and
also in Education from Queens University,
Kingston, Ontario, Canada . She divides hertime between her residence in Germany and
her home country, Malaysia. She owns no
pets, but enjoys feeding the song birds that
come and go in her garden.
A b o u t t h e i l l u s t r a t o r
Highly talented illustrator, Su Jen, is her
daughter. Born in Berlin, Germany, she
received her education at the Teletta Gross High
School in the Lower Saxony town of Leer. She
has an honours degree in Fine Arts from the
Otis College of Art and Design in Los Angeles,
California. This is her second book.
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G L O S S A R Y
Akek (Kayan) grandfather
Bahasa Malaysia the nationallanguage ofMalaysia
Bomoh (Bahasa Malaysia) medicine man/woman
Cucu (Bahasa Malaysia) grandchildpronounced choochoo)
Iban language of theIbans, the largestindigenous groupin Sarawak.
Inaey (Kayan) mother (also aunt)
Kayan language of theKayans, anindigenous groupfound mainly in theupper reaches of theRajang and Baram.
Kenyalang (Iban) hornbill
Orang utan forest person,(Bahasa Mal aysia) long-haired primate
found onlyin Borneo.
Pelandok mouse deer(Bahasa Mal aysia)
Perahu boat(Bahasa Mal aysia)
Soh (Kayan) grandchild
Towkay (Chinese) boss, shopkeeper
Ubat (Bahasa Malaysia) medicine,magic spells
Uku (Kayan) grandmother(also great aunt)
Ulu (Iban) upper reaches
of rivers
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P A YA H pushed and shoved her way through thecrowded bustle of the bazaar at Belaga. She was looking for her
grandmother. She stepped on a lot of bare toes, earning cries of
annoyance and an occasional jab from a bony elbow. Payah
was eight, and frantic with anxiety.
She found her grandmother at last, squatting before piles of
colourful sarongs, deep in conversation with the woman selling
them. She knew that it was rude to interrupt when adults were
talking, but on this exciting market day full of colour and noise
and enticing smells, her heart was sad.
She tweaked at her grandmothers sarong, but her
grandmother was too deeply involved in haggling to notice.
She caught hold of one of her hands and tugged, which madeher grandmother turn around.
Do you have to ...?
No! No, Uku. Come with me. Come, quick, please, hissed
Payah urgently.
Patience, my Soh, patience. Let me finish my business
here first.
Her Ukuwas not to be hurried. It seemed an eternity before
a bargain was struck. It took another eternity before thesarong
was carefully refolded and wrapped up and finally placed into
her grandmothers eager hands. Payah sighed with relief. At
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another time, she would have admired her grandmothers choice,
which would have pleased her, but this was not the time.
In the glare of the midday sun, Payah dragged her
grandmother through the market. They bumped and squeezed
their way through the jostling crowds. When her Uku dawdled
or stopped to examine something that caught her eye, Payah
urged her on, tugging and pulling.
She came across a stall full of mouth-watering cakes and
sweets. Neat rolls of soft green pancakes begged to be eaten.
Payah breathed in their fragrance deeply, tasting in her
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One of my customers brought it to me as payment. He has many
mouths to feed. What can I do? He spread out his hands
and shrugged.
Let it go.
I shall go bankrupt if my customers bring me birds and
beasts of the jungle in exchange for goods and I set them free!
How much? Ukus eyes gleamed.
Twenty ringgit.
Payahs heart sank.
Ten ringgit, offered Uku firmly. She knew that he had to
get rid of the bird at any cost, or he could find himself left with
a fat and juicy fine in the hand and no bird at all. It would take
time to wear him down, but she had all the time in the world.Nineteen.
Ten.
Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen. Fifteen. Payah shifted
impatiently from one foot to the other. The towkay was giving
way, but not fast enough for Payah. She was not aware that she
was gripping her Ukus hand tightly.
Twelve. I have many mouths to feed.
Ten. Youll have one less mouth to feed.
Eleven.
Ten.
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Ten-fifty. Last offer! Ai-yah! exclaimed the towkay,
in exasperation.
Ten-fifty! piped in a voice squeaky with emotion. Uku,
Uku, I will pay the fifty sen. Oh Uku, please Uku, pleaded
Payah, shaking her grandmothers hand vigorously.
Your Cucu? Ah, she has a kind heart.
My Soh, corrected Uku with pride, in Kayan. Her heart is
too soft. All right, ten-fifty. Now we have another mouth to
feed. Uku sighed, pretending defeat, making it easier for the
shopkeeper to accept his.
Ai-yah, all right, ten ringgit, said the towkaymournfully,
heaving an even bigger sigh, for he could not, without looking
like a monster, pocket Payahs money.No! Ten-fifty, like I said, insisted Payah. It is my bird.
Payah was adamant, and proudly handed over her fifty sen. The
towkay, not to be outdone by a wisp of a girl, generously
pressed two lollipops, one red, one yellow, into her hands. She
did not like sweets, but was too polite to say so. She would
give one to her baby brother and the other to her best friend.
The hornbill squawked, but did not put up much of a fight.
Its legs were trussed together. Ukuinsisted on that. She was
not taking the chance of losing her ten ringgit, even if Payah
did not care about her fifty sen. Payahs heart was singing as
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she held the hornbill tightly, yet careful not to squash it.
Uku took a quick look at the sun.
Time to go back. Uku Nyalois probably waiting. Thats
another impatient one!
Uku Nyalo was Payahs great aunt, and her grandmothers
youngest sister. Grandmother and granddaughter walked
together hand in hand, Payah chatting away merrily, her
earrings tinkling with each movement of her head.
Ai, I know just what shell say. And worse still, your
mother. Shell scold me, said Uku.
But youre her mother. You can scold her.
Thats what you think, my Soh. Uku gave a cackle of
laughter. Oh yoh, oh yoh. YourInaey,
she can scold, that one!Ill never scold you, Uku. Never! Payah gazed up at her
grandmother with shining eyes, her heart brimming over with
love for her. She held her grandmothers hand to her cheek.
The intricate blue tattoo, almost up to the elbow, made it look as
if Ukuwas wearing a glove of fine lace.
Ah, sighed Uku. She looked fondly down at her
grandchild, and saw herself many, many moons ago, and
remembered the many promises she had not kept. Ah.
UKU Nyalowas of course waiting impatiently. She had soldher fruits and the wild ferns that Payahs Uku had picked and
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there was only a small bunch of bananas left. She always
looked, thought Payah, as if she was forever sucking on
a sour plum.
Whats that? asked her great aunt, eyeing the bird
with distaste.
Its a hornbill, answered Payah sweetly.
I have eyes in my head! snapped her great aunt. I want
an explanation.
WhenUku Nyalo heard what they had paid for the bird, she
let out a shriek of disgust.
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You paid TEN, TEN RINGGIT AND FIFTY SEN for that
scraggy thing crawling with lice that you cant even put into a
pot! That money could have got us a pair of fat layers.
But Uku Nyalo, weve got enough hens already,
protested Payah.
Cheeky child, talking back to your elders! A good
spanking should teach you better manners. Keep that lousy bird
away from me!
They stepped into theperahu. Payah sat in the middle,
quivering with indignation. She watched her great aunt, whose
back was rigid with displeasure, jabbing her oar angrily into the
water. Behind her, her grandmother pushed off, dipping hers in
gracefully and bringing up silvery drops that sparkled inthe sunlight.
Payah soon became aware that she was hungry. She eyed
Uku Nyalos bunch of bananas longingly. The hornbill was
probably hungry too. No! She was not going to beg her great
aunt for food, not even if she was on the point of starvation.
She hugged the bird to her and soon relaxed. She would
not let her great aunts bad temper spoil her day. She had
rescued the hornbill from a fate worse than death, thought
Payah grandly. Her heart sang.
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BACK at thelonghouse, they were
received with mixed
feelings. As Payah had
feared, many agreed with
Uku Nyalo that they were
foolish to pay such an
exorbitant sum for the
hornbill. But everyone shared
Payahs outrage that the kenyalang,
proud symbol of the Land of Sarawak,
had been trapped, in spite of the fact that it
was a protected bird, and shunted about likemerchandise.
Because of its injured wing, the hornbill
could not be let loose into the wild, an easy
prey to all. It was put into a big cage, meant
to protect it rather than imprison it. Soon, fed
on bananas and scraps, it lost its scraggy look
and perked up. Its black feathers shone. Its
great golden bill glowed. When let out, it followed Payah
everywhere. She called it Kenyi.
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But you could not cuddle Kenyi like you could
cuddle Sammy.
Sammy was a baby orang utanwith soft, fuzzy, orange hair
and big, round, golden, trusting eyes. It also had a shy smile.
Sammys mother had either been captured and sold, or killed by
hunters. Loggers had brought Sammy, half-dead, to Payahs
father. Payah had cried over the poor little orphaned creature
until it seemed her heart would break. But Sammy survived, fed
on the tinned milk that Payahs baby brother was drinking and
which she too had drunk when she was very small.
Sammy lived in a cage so huge that even the tallest person
in the longhouse did not have to stoop inside it. There it swung
contentedly from rope to rope, and tumbled happily, head overheels, to the delight of all the children. When Payah came to let
it out, it jumped up and down and made squeaky noises. It
loved being carried around by Payah, who enjoyed carrying it in
return. Her baby brother, unlike Sammy, wriggled about like an
eel in her arms, which made her terribly afraid that she would
drop him.
ONE afternoon, after school, Payah played with her bestfriend, Usun. It was a game called Paper, Scissors, Stone.
You hide a hand behind your back, call out, One, Two,
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Three, and bring it out, balled like a fist (stone), or with the
first two fingers splayed (scissors), or flat out (paper).
Scissors cut up paper, but are useless against stone, while
paper wraps up stone.
Paper! shouted Payah, spreading out her hand.
Scissors! screamed Usun. Snip, snip. I win!
Stone!
Paper! You lose!
Scissors!
Stone! I win! I win!
So it went on. There were lots of giggles and girlish
squeals. It was fun until ...
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Hey, thats cheating! You saw my hand first.
Did not! You should have waited until I said Three.
When you start quarrelling, it is time to stop.
Lets go to my hideout, suggested Payah, who had grown
tired of the game anyway.
No. I want to read. Usun was a regular bookworm.
Fraidy-chicken! mocked Payah.
P A YA H S hideout was a cleared patch on the bank ofa deep and shimmering stream that opened out into the lively
Belaga river that flowed past her longhouse. It was like a
magical place, full of light, especially when you came upon it
suddenly after a trek through dim, dank undergrowth shadoweddeeply by tall trees.
Here butterflies danced in a whirl of colours. Here streaks
of red and blue gave the kingfisher away.
All the children knew about Payahs hideout, but stayed
away from it for, to get there, they would have to go past the
medicine-womans hut. They had never seen the bomoh. She
kept to herself. The adults consulted her now and then for some
potion or other. The children were just simply afraid of her
ubat, her magic.
There were rings of stones around her fruit trees. Straws,
knotted into odd shapes, hung from the branches and spun
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slowly in the breeze. Eerie sounds could be heard coming from
around her hut strange clapping noises, high whistles and
low moans.
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Even Payahs heart would beat a little faster when she
passed by the hut and her steps would quicken.
Another reason why the children never went near Payahs
hideaway was the belief that a white crocodile lurked in the
deep stream. You did not notice it until it was right upon you,
because it moved as silently as a ghost.
Payah, however, would not let her imagination run riot.She was the type of person who believed in taking the bull by
the horns, only when she saw it. Usun was different. She
thought too much and saw all the difficulties even before the
adventure had started.
SO on this hot and sleepy afternoon, Payah took Sammy andKenyi with her. She was glad of their company. Kenyi
squawked and fluttered about, making enough noise to scare off
everything. Sammy clung to her like a limpet, which was
somehow comforting as she scuttled past the bomohshut.
They made their way through dank undergrowth. Twigs
snapped under Payahs feet. Sounds of cicadas in the thousands
trilled in her ears. Now and then there was a rustle nearby, and
sometimes a distant crash as a branch fell to earth. High up in
the canopied tops, birds chirped, croaked or screeched. She also
glimpsed flying squirrels hurtling from tree to tree.
As she neared the clearing, which was hidden from view by
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giant ferns, she heard a whimper and stopped, uncertain. Even
Kenyi fell silent. Payah poised herself for flight.
However, the sound was more a sound of distress
than a threat.
Very slowly and carefully, and holding her breath, Payah
parted the fronds. Her heart, that had just a moment ago
thumped fearfully, was now beating with rage at what she saw.A pelandok, a mouse deer, and still quite a baby, was tied by
one fragile hind leg to a stake at the waters edge. Payah
understood immediately what that meant. It was being used as
a bait to catch a crocodile!
Payah hesitated, unsure how she
was going to free it, when suddenly
there was a slight movement in the
still water. She screamed, and flung
herself forward.
At that very moment,
everything happened at once.
The air was shattered by
harsh sounds. There were
shouts and sounds of
gunshots. Water spattered
about. Feet pounded and
the ground shook.
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In the midst of this confusion, a strong voice rang out.
Stop, in the name of the law!
There were sounds of feet hitting water, urgent cries, and
grunts. Then a splutter, and an outboard motor roared to life.
The sound swiftly faded around the bend and into the distance.
Payah found herself crouched over the mouse deer, her heart
hammering away deafeningly in her ears.
After a while, when her heart had stopped its wild beating,
she became aware of a man standing at the waters edge, one
fist raised, and cursing himself for not being sooner on the spot.
The poachers had escaped, empty-handed, to be sure, but that
was cold comfort.
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Promotion down the drain! Uh, river. Oh well, maana.
Payah heard him say.
Ma-nya-na. Whats that? Payah had recovered from her
fright.
The man swung around and glared at the group before him.
Payah was still clutching the tiny creature, which was in a state
of shock, in a choking grip. Sammy was hanging on to her for
dear life. Kenyi was flapping awkwardly about and croaking in
distress.
That was a stupid thing to do! snarled the man.
Whats ma-nya-na?
Eh?
WHATS MA-NYA-NA? Payah yelled, thinking that hemust be a bit deaf.
Tomorrow.
No. Now!
The man looked startled, and then gave a shout of laughter,
showing strong white teeth in a tanned face.
Why do grown-ups always say tomorrow, tomorrow? I
want to know now! demanded Payah, stamping her foot.
Maanadoes mean tomorrow, another day, said the man.
He laughed again. Its Spanish. It sounds likeBahasa
Malaysia, doesnt it? Its a very convenient word, you know,
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depending on your attitude. Lots of tomorrows for putting
things off, plenty of tomorrows until you get what you want.
He continued grimly, Im going to get them and their kind, if
not today, then tomorrow.
Im Payah.
Ben. Ben Laing from Ulu Baram. Im a forest ranger. Bythe way, its illegal to keep these animals. Ben frowned at
Sammy and Kenyi.
I know. Kenyi is hurt. Sammy is still a baby. Im looking
after them.
He ought to be at the Semenggoh Orang Utan
Rehabilitation Centre.
Sammys not a he. Payah giggled. Shes actually called
Samantha, after my sisters roommate in London, who has
orange hair.
Ben grinned and the corners of his eyes crinkled.
Youll have to let her go before she gets too big. She will
have to learn to get used to her own kind and how to look
after herself.I know. Payah brushed off the thought as she would
brush away a fly. What are we going to do about the
pelandok? You cant simply shoo it away and say go find
your mummy.
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No, youre right. Ive been thinking about that. Theres a
large enclosed space at the back of my house. Itll be safe there
until its big enough to fend for itself.
You wont eat it?
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No! exclaimed Ben, sounding outraged, but his eyes
were dancing.
Promise.
Ben held up two fingers.
Can I come and visit it?
Of course! Hey, youd better get going before it gets dark.
Ben gently freed the deer and gathered the still-trembling
creature into his strong arms and stood up.
Before Payah plunged into the path hidden by the clumps of
giant ferns, with Sammy riding piggy-back and Kenyi waddling
after her, she turned around, smiled and waved.
Maana! Her voice rang out, loudly and clearly.
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