making sense of adolescence
Post on 02-Jul-2015
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making sense of adolescence.presented by dr. cameron caswell
www.theFuelCenter.com
what you’ll learn tonight.
• The secret behind your teen’s baffling behavior.
• What your teen really wants (and needs) from you.
• 2 biggest communication mistakes most parents
make.
• 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful
connections
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what it means to be a teen.
"We're so used to seeing adolescence
as a problem. But the more we learn
about what really makes this period
unique, the more adolescence starts to
seem like a highly functional, even
adaptive period. It's exactly what you'd
need to do the things you have to do
then.” --B. J. Casey, adolescent neuroscientist
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12 HercuTeen labors
1. Prevail over puberty
2. Control their new cognitive powers
3. Forge a unique identity
4. Trail blaze the road to autonomy
5. Navigate precarious peer relationships
6. Conquer love, lust and sex
7. Carry more responsibilities
8. Master morality
9. Triumph in school, sports & other stuff
10. Strategize for the future
11. Shield their self-esteem from evil
12. Live up to their parents’ expectations
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the secret
behind
your teen’s
baffling
behavior is…
the brain
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back
Prefrontal cortex
Reason
front
Amygdala
Emotion
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idealism
+ peer
acceptance
+ spotlight effect
the embarrassment equation
_________________________
total embarrassmentwww.theFuelCenter.com
Guess what, cool people!
Parents are supposed to
be lame. That's so their
kids have something to
rebel against and be cool
long enough to get
married and have kids for
whom they are lame. It's
nature's way.
– Homer Simpson
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2biggest
communication
mistakes most
parents make
OR
2surefire ways
NOT to be heard…ever
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The more
you YELL
the less
teens listen
(or anyone listens for that matter)
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The #1 reason
teens don’t talk
to their parents
is because they
“never shut up!”
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What do teens really want from us?
Give them special privileges39%
Laugh at their jokes (or any joke for that matter)68%
Remember things they say71%
Show up when you say you will73%
Be honest with them79%
Listen to them80%
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4 tactics to turn
power strugglesinto powerful
connections
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Lean in
Identify emotions
Seek understanding
Test your understanding
Empathize
Neutralize your response
UPlift
how to listen like a pro.
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1. breathe, tense, release
2. roll your shoulders
10 clever tricks to regain
your cool quickly.
4. strick up the air band
5. suck on a sweet
6. massage your scalp
7. repeat a mantra
3. squeeze something
8. lower your voice
9. scream SILENTLY
10. smile www.theFuelCenter.com
1. define the why
2. share your whats
6 steps to effective collaboration
3. brainstorm some hows
4. agree on the how
5. plan for what if’s
6. write it all down
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your teen will
test you again
and again.
how often will
you pass?
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key takeaways.
• The #1 thing teens want (and need) their parents to do is
LISTEN!• Adolescence provides a window of opportunity and sensitivity.
• Many teen behaviors are due to uneven brain development.
• 2 communication mistakes parents make: yelling & lecturing.
• 4 tactics to improve communication:
listen up
keep calm
collaborate
don’t take the bait
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Fuel online family workshop.
Yes!
Teens and parents CAN
get along.
We’ll show you how.
Learn more.www.theFuelCenter.com
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