making sense of adolescence

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making sense of adolescence. presented by dr. cameron caswell www.theFuelCenter.com

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Yes, parents and teens can get along. We'll show you how. Get insight into how the adolescent brain works and the secret behind their more baffling behaviors. Learn the top 2 communication mistakes most parents make. Get 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful connections. You and you're teen will be living in harmony in no time.

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Page 1: Making sense of adolescence

making sense of adolescence.presented by dr. cameron caswell

www.theFuelCenter.com

Page 2: Making sense of adolescence

what you’ll learn tonight.

• The secret behind your teen’s baffling behavior.

• What your teen really wants (and needs) from you.

• 2 biggest communication mistakes most parents

make.

• 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful

connections

www.theFuelCenter.com

Page 3: Making sense of adolescence

what it means to be a teen.

"We're so used to seeing adolescence

as a problem. But the more we learn

about what really makes this period

unique, the more adolescence starts to

seem like a highly functional, even

adaptive period. It's exactly what you'd

need to do the things you have to do

then.” --B. J. Casey, adolescent neuroscientist

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Page 4: Making sense of adolescence

12 HercuTeen labors

1. Prevail over puberty

2. Control their new cognitive powers

3. Forge a unique identity

4. Trail blaze the road to autonomy

5. Navigate precarious peer relationships

6. Conquer love, lust and sex

7. Carry more responsibilities

8. Master morality

9. Triumph in school, sports & other stuff

10. Strategize for the future

11. Shield their self-esteem from evil

12. Live up to their parents’ expectations

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Page 5: Making sense of adolescence

the secret

behind

your teen’s

baffling

behavior is…

the brain

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Page 6: Making sense of adolescence

the blossoming brain.

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Page 7: Making sense of adolescence

window of

opportunity

window of

sensitivity

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Page 8: Making sense of adolescence

pruning.

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Page 9: Making sense of adolescence

use it or lose it.

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Page 10: Making sense of adolescence

why do teens do

crazy s#%t?

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Page 11: Making sense of adolescence

back

Prefrontal cortex

Reason

front

Amygdala

Emotion

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Page 12: Making sense of adolescence

I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

YES!

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Page 13: Making sense of adolescence

why are teens so

emotional?

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Page 14: Making sense of adolescence

adult lens

teen lens

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Page 15: Making sense of adolescence

what

is she

feeling?

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Page 16: Making sense of adolescence

why are teens so

embarrassed of

us?

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Page 17: Making sense of adolescence

because we’re embarrassing.www.theFuelCenter.com

Page 18: Making sense of adolescence

idealism

+ peer

acceptance

+ spotlight effect

the embarrassment equation

_________________________

total embarrassmentwww.theFuelCenter.com

Page 19: Making sense of adolescence

Guess what, cool people!

Parents are supposed to

be lame. That's so their

kids have something to

rebel against and be cool

long enough to get

married and have kids for

whom they are lame. It's

nature's way.

– Homer Simpson

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Page 20: Making sense of adolescence

Why are teens so argumentative?

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Page 21: Making sense of adolescence

what

would

you do?

Because

I said so.

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Page 22: Making sense of adolescence

2biggest

communication

mistakes most

parents make

OR

2surefire ways

NOT to be heard…ever

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Page 23: Making sense of adolescence

mistake

1YELL!

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Page 24: Making sense of adolescence

The more

you YELL

the less

teens listen

(or anyone listens for that matter)

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Page 25: Making sense of adolescence

mistake

2 lecture.

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Page 26: Making sense of adolescence

The #1 reason

teens don’t talk

to their parents

is because they

“never shut up!”

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Page 27: Making sense of adolescence

listen more. talk less.

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Page 28: Making sense of adolescence

What do teens really want from us?

Give them special privileges39%

Laugh at their jokes (or any joke for that matter)68%

Remember things they say71%

Show up when you say you will73%

Be honest with them79%

Listen to them80%

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Page 29: Making sense of adolescence

4 tactics to turn

power strugglesinto powerful

connections

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Page 30: Making sense of adolescence

tactic

1listen up.

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Page 31: Making sense of adolescence

Lean in

Identify emotions

Seek understanding

Test your understanding

Empathize

Neutralize your response

UPlift

how to listen like a pro.

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Page 32: Making sense of adolescence

tactic

2 keep calm.

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Page 33: Making sense of adolescence

1. breathe, tense, release

2. roll your shoulders

10 clever tricks to regain

your cool quickly.

4. strick up the air band

5. suck on a sweet

6. massage your scalp

7. repeat a mantra

3. squeeze something

8. lower your voice

9. scream SILENTLY

10. smile www.theFuelCenter.com

Page 34: Making sense of adolescence

tactic

3 collaborate.

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Page 35: Making sense of adolescence

1. define the why

2. share your whats

6 steps to effective collaboration

3. brainstorm some hows

4. agree on the how

5. plan for what if’s

6. write it all down

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Page 36: Making sense of adolescence

tactic

4don’t take the bait.

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Page 37: Making sense of adolescence

your teen will

test you again

and again.

how often will

you pass?

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Page 38: Making sense of adolescence

key takeaways.

• The #1 thing teens want (and need) their parents to do is

LISTEN!• Adolescence provides a window of opportunity and sensitivity.

• Many teen behaviors are due to uneven brain development.

• 2 communication mistakes parents make: yelling & lecturing.

• 4 tactics to improve communication:

listen up

keep calm

collaborate

don’t take the bait

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Page 39: Making sense of adolescence

Fuel online family workshop.

Yes!

Teens and parents CAN

get along.

We’ll show you how.

Learn more.www.theFuelCenter.com

Page 40: Making sense of adolescence

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