gullivers travels play script draft four
Post on 21-Feb-2015
2.115 Views
Preview:
TRANSCRIPT
(Name of Project)
by(Name of First Writer)
(Based on, If Any)
Revisions by(Names of Subsequent Writers,in Order of Work Performed)
Current Revisions by(Current Writer, date)
Name (of company, if applicable)AddressPhone Number
WONDERLAND PRODUCTIONS
GULLIVER’S TRAVELSBY JONATHAN SWIFT
Written and Adapted by Alice CoghlanIn collaboration with the original cast.
Directed by Alice Coghlan
First performed at Mermaid Arts Centre
December 16th 2010.
Copyright Alice Coghlan 2010
alice@wonderlandtheatre.com
www.wonderlandtheatre.com.
CAST LIST
Gulliver - Nathan Gordon
GULLIVER FAMILY
Mary Gulliver - Sarah Kinlen
Betty Gulliver - Roseanne Lynch
Lemuel Gulliver - Graeme Singleton
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT
Tergoscar, Peasant of Lilliput- Graeme Singleton
Yeoman Tolgo of Lilliput - Fra Gunn
Emperor of Lilliput- Sarah Kinlen
Empress of Lilliput - Roseanne Lynch
Flimnap, Lord High Treasurer - Graeme Singleton
Lady Flimnap - Sarah Kinlen
Citizen of Mildendo - Fra Gunn as puppeteer
Shopkeeper of Mildendo - Fra Gunn as puppeteer
Emperor of Blefuscu - Graeme Singleton
Admiral of Blefuscu- Fra Gunn
People of Lilliput - Fra Gunn
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG
Captain Peter Williams - Fra Gunn
Tom Watkins - Sarah Kinlen
Watch Leader - Graeme Singleton
Glumdalclitch Brumdalnitch - Roseanne Lynch
Farmer Brumdalnitch - Fra Gunn
Mistress Brumdalnitch - Sarah Kinlen
Gozol Brumdalnitch - Graeme Singleton
Beggar - Graeme Singleton
Mistress Buzgloopee (Queen in disguise) - Sarah Kinlen
Shepherd boy - Graeme Singleton
2.
(MORE)
Queen of Brobdingnag - Sarah Kinlen
Dwindle Dwarf - Graeme Singleton
King of Brobdingnag - Fra Gunn
Monkey - Fra Gunn
Eagle that picks Gulliver’s box up - Sarah Kinlen
Puppeteers of shadow eagles- Graeme Singleton & Fra Gunn
Captain Thomas Wilcocks - Graeme Singleton
A VOYAGE TO HOUYHNHNM’S LAND
James Welch - Graeme Singleton
Pirate First Mate - Fra Gunn
Teenage Yahoo - Roseanne Lynch
Yobo Yahoo - Graeme Singleton
Female Yahoo - Sarah Kinlen
Sorrel Nag - Roseanne Lynch
Master Grey - Graeme Singleton
Chief Houyhnhnm - Fra Gunn
Baby Yahoo- puppet
Favourite Yahoo - Fra Gunn
Prosecuting Houyhnhnm - Sarah Kinlen
Don Pedro de Mendez - Fra Gunn
3.
(CONT'D)
CONTENTS
Act 1: Lilliput
Scene 1 : Gulliver Leaves Home and is Shipwrecked 6
Scene 2 : Arrival in Lilliput 6
Scene 3 : The Lilliputians Discover a Giant 7
Scene 4 : Audience with the Emperor at the Gates of Mildendo 8
Scene 5 : Tour of Mildendo 16
Scene 6 : Tour of the Empress' Apartments 17
Scene 7 : Tour of the Emperor's Apartments 19
Scene 8 : Gulliver Seizes the Naval Fleet at Blefuscu 21
Scene 9 : Gulliver Urinates on the Queens Apartment and Flees 28
Scene 10: Escape from Lilliput 33
Part 2: Brobdingnag
Scene 11: Arrival in Brobdingnag 35
Scene 12: The Streets of Flanflasnic 42
Scene 13: Freak Show at the Sign on the Green Eagle 44
Scene 14: The Queen Purchases the Grildig 47
Scene 15: Gulliver is Abducted by a Monkey 49
Scene 16: The Queen's Bedchamber 53
Scene 17: Interview with the King of Brobdingnag 55
Scene 18: Departure from Brobdingnag 57
Scene 19: Gulliver is rescued from Brobdingnag by the Sailors 61
Scene 20: The Return to Mary and Betty 62
Act 3: Houyhnhnm's Land
Scene 21: Mutiny onboard Ship - Gulliver is Put Ashore 64
Scene 22: Arrival in Houyhnhnm's Land 67
Scene 23: Waiting for the Wizard 70
Scene 24: Gulliver is Examined by the Houyhnhnms 71
Scene 25: The Houyhnhnm Dinner 74
4.
(MORE)
Scene 26: Nature Trail through Yahoo Territory 75
Scene 27: Gulliver Washes in the River 78
Scene 28: The Houyhnhnm Assembly 80
Scene 29: Departure from Houyhnhnm Country 81
Scene 30: The Portuguese Sailors Rescue Gulliver 83
Scene 31: The Final Return to England 84
Scene 32: Epilogue in the Stable 85
Glossary 87
5.
CONTENTS (CONT'D)
SCENE 1: GULLIVER LEAVES HOME AND IS SHIPWRECKED(The Gulliv er f amily at dinner as a storm rages at the windows. The Ensemble sing.)
Adieu sweet lovely Mary
Ten thousand times adieu
I am bound to cross the ocean love
To seek for something new
Come change your ring with me dear girl
Come change your ring with me
That it might be a token of our true love
When I am on the sea(The scene becomes a ship.)
And now that I am on the sea
I know not where I am
Kind letters I will write to you
From every foreign land
The secrets of my mind fine girl
The best of all goodwill
So let your body be where it is
My heart will be with you still(A clap of thunder and the storm rises)
There's a heavy storm arising
See how it gathers round
While we poor souls on the ocean wide(The ship breaks up, the sailors are swept into the water but continue to sing f aintly .)
Are ploughing through the deep
There's no-one to defend us love
And keep us from the cold
On the ocean wide where we must b ide
Like jolly sailors old.
SCENE 2: ARRIVAL IN LILLIPUT
Instrumental Music from Adieu Nancy theme. Gulliver is shipwrecked, he swims for his life and tries and fails to put his feet on the bottom.
6.
Suddenly to his great surprise he can. He wades to the shore for over a mile. He is very weak and drunk. The light is the hot Lilliputian light somewhere north west of the Tasmanian coastline.
As Gulliver walks up the beach, a puppet peasant enters. He wants to scream but then decides against it. He runs off and returns with help.
Gulliver starts to snore. It starts to get dark. The Lilliputians return with lanterns. The snoring is suddenly much louder.
SCENE 3: THE LILLIPUTIANS DISCOVER A GIANT
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
Go softly Tergoscar - that way you won’t wake the man mountain up. Sh softly does it...
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OFLILLIPUT
Maybe he eats little people?
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
I’ll gut him before he does. Now you take the ball and I’ll take the twine. And up the man cliff I rise.
They start to unravel the ball of twine. Yeoman climbs up and onto Gulliver.
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OFLILLIPUT
What does it feel like up there?
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
Like I’m about to meet my Maker.
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OF LILLIPU
Wait for me!
He climbs up too.
What are you doing to his moon face?
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
I’m sewing his eye lashes together.
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OFLILLIPUT
Why don’t you just stab his eye out?
7.
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
He may be more valuable to the Empire of Lilliput sighted. If we can tie him down before he wakes,
the Emperor can have him transported to his capital at Mildendo.
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OFLILLIPUT
Have a man mountain transported to his capital at Miledendo. How?
YEOMAN TOLGO OFLILLIPUT
Tergoscar I will do all your thinking for you.
TERGOSCAR PEASANT OFLILLIPUT
Eh yeah..
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
And the Emperor all your speculating.
SCENE 4: AUDIENCE WITH THE EMERPOR AT THE GATES OF MILDENDO
Everyone looks upwards for the Emperor and a puppet enters on horseback, to the music of See the Conquering Hero Comes.
LORD FLIMNAP
All Hail Golbasto Mom maren Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue the most mighty Emperor of
Lilliput, Delight and Terror of the Universe. Monarch of all Monarchs, at whose nod the princes of
the earth shake their knees;
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Pleasant as the spring,
LORD FLIMNAP
Comfortable as the summer,
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Fruitful as the autumn,
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Dreadful as the winter.
The Ensemble bow. The Emperor surveys Gulliver, but never gets closer than the end of his chain. The Emperor’s horse rears up but he is not unseated.
8.
PEOPLE OFLILLIPUT
All Hail the King!
Gulliver lies down with his face on the earth to talk to the Emperor.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Welcome to our Empire of Lilliput Man Mountain.
GULLIVER
Please grant me my freedom.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Your Majesty.
LORD FLIMNAP
Man Mountain, God will grant you your liberty if and when the Emperor feels like it.
GULLIVER(to audience)
Oh.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
My royal dignity is offended by his bulk.
GULLIVER
I’m sorry about that.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT(to his and his Empress’ puppeteers)
Still offended. Pray make our Royal Persons taller, taller and taller still!
GULLIVER
May I introduce myself? My name is Lemuel Gulliver I’m a Doctor and Ship’s Surgeon and I haven’t
visited a court before. Would you like to step into my hand? I won’t eat you ...
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Three thousand of my choicest archers are ready to fire their arrows at you if you do.
The archers growl enthusiastically.
Now is every Lilliputian watching?
9.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Oui. The Royal Correspondents are scribbling away.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Then Man Mountain raise me up! Higher, higher and higher still.
Gulliver lifts the King above his head. Wild cheers from the Lilliputians.
ENSEMBLE
Long live the King/He is so tall/ His head strikes the sun/Long live the Sun King!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
I feel like a God up here.
GULLIVER
You are a God. And I am your humble subject.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
I am not a God, but I am by God’s grace, God’s ninety-sixth Vice-Regent on Earth. God chose me to
rule in Lilliput because I am the tallest.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Are you frightened up there chou chou fleur?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
No. I’m enjoying the fine views of our Celestial Metropolis of Mildendo.
More wild cheers from the Lilliputians.
It is the most beautiful metropolis in five thousand blustrugs- isn’t it Man Mountain?
GULLIVER
Your city looks like a painted scene at the theatre to me. Why the tallest tree is only seven foot high!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Seven of your feet Man Mountain are eighty four of mine! And I am the Emperor.
GULLIVER
I apologise Your Majesty, but I come from a land where every human creature has the same foot
size as me.
10.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Liar. My philosophers have decided on the truth, and that truth is that you have dropped from the
moon.(looking down)
Fine day to take the air eh.
ENSEMBLE
All Hail the Sun King!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Your brave Emperor is risking his life for Lilliput’s safety.
An audib le intake from the crowd follows each of the following phrases.
Your Emperor has reason to believe that this Man Mountain could be armed and dangerous. He
could be a Trojan Horse stuffed full of Big Endians.
ENSEMBLE
Boo.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Is that the beating of a heart or is that the ticking of a bomb? Pretend that you’re a scary giant.
Gulliver obliges. The Lilliputians cower. The King attempts to look brave but fails.
GULLIVER
Agh! Arr..Agh!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Woh. Help!
GULLIVER
Ah!
The yeoman fires and hits Gulliver in the bottom. He pulls out the miniature arrow. He takes out his hanger.
GULLIVER (CONT’D)
You vicious little vermin.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
11.
Gulliver puts the Emperor puppet back on the ground.
Who fired at the Royal Person?
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
Not me. I’m too stupid.
LORD FLIMNAP
Seize him!
Flimnapp beats the executioner’s drum. The peasant runs to hide. Once he has he is replaced by his puppet which is all bound up with string.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Should we hang, draw and quarter him, as of old?
ENSEMBLE
Yes.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
No today we have a brand new punishment for High Treason in Lilliput - Mastication by Giant! Man
Mountain I humbly present you with your Afternoon Tea.
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
Please Sir I didn’t do it.
ENSEMBLE
Eat him, eat him.
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
Don’t eat me, oh no.
ENSEMBLE
Eat him.
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
I taste of pooh.
GULLIVER
But I like pooh.
12.
ENSEMBLE
Eat him, eat him, eat him.
Gulliver picks up the archer puppet. He makes a face that he would eat him alive. The puppet squalls, and the ensemble are in terrib le pain, even the Emperor thinks he might have gone too far this time.
GULLIVER
We don’t eat peasants in England.
YEOMAN OF LILLIPUT
Thank God for that.
Gulliver takes out his hanger and then surprises the ensemble by cutting the archer free of his bonds and letting him run away.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Man Mountain is merciful. Merci Man Mountain.
ENSEMBLE
Merci Man Mountain.
GULLIVER
Please grant me my liberty Your Majesty.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
No. What’s that?
Gulliver takes out his pocket pistol.
GULLIVER
It’s my pocket pistol.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
I want your hollow pocket pistol.
GULLIVER
Grant me my freedom first.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
No.
13.
GULLIVER
Don’t be afraid my Lady.
Gulliver fires his pistol in the air. Hundreds fall down as if they have been struck dead. The Emperor remains standing but takes a few moments to recover himself. The Empress is quivering on the ground, Gulliver helps her up.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Merci.
GULLIVER
Will you grant me my liberty now?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
No.
GULLIVER
Just what do you want me to do?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Guess.
GULLIVER
Well I could promise to make an exact survey of the circumference your empire, with my paces.
Like so...
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Guess again...
GULLIVER
I could quarry and raise great stones for the construction of temples, palaces and castles for
Mildendo. Like so...
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Last try.
GULLIVER
I could promise to defend your Lilliputian empire against her enemies? Like so...
Gulliver flourishes his pocket pistol.
14.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Yes! Free him!
Lord Flimnap unlocks Gulliver’s chains. Festive music.
LORD FLIMNAP
May I offer you my compliments on your liberty Man Mountain?
GULLIVER
Why not?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Lord Flimnap.
The Emperor puppet indicates that Lord Flimnap should leave for Gulliver’s cloak.
People of Lilliput from today you have a giant ally against the miniscule Empire of Blefuscu! To
mark this auspicious day, I have ordered that a new suit of clothes be made for Man Mountain by
two hundred of our seamstresses and three hundred of our tailors. Long /Live Man Mountain.
ENSEMBLE
/Long Live Man Mountain etc.
The suit of clothes is dragged in by Lord Flimnap. Gulliver puts it on and lifts the Emperor and Empress into his hands and leaves, followed by Lord Flimnap and the carriage.
SCENE 5: TOUR OFMILDENDO
LORD FLIMNAP
People of Mildendo: Your most mighty Emperor, whose dominions extend to the extremities of the
globe and whose feet press down to its centre, has granted a licence for his latest favourite to visit
your city.
ENSEMBLE
Hurrah!
Gulliver’s approaching footsteps sound thunderous. Shopkeeper and Citizen are up on the roof.
15.
CITIZEN OF MILDENDO
Here he comes.
SHOPKEEPER OF MILDENDO
The good Lord be praised ... He’s stepping over the Lion’s Gate.
LORD FLIMNAP
All citizens are commanded to keep within their houses, at their peril.
GULLIVER
What a populous metropolis!
Wild cheers.
How many of you are there down on the rooftops?
SHOPKEEPER OF MILDENDO
Five hundred thousand and fifty eight souls all told.
GULLIVER
Then Mildendo is more populous than our capital city of London.
CITIZEN OF MILDENDO
Mildendo is the biggest.
GULLIVER
Mildendo is the best!
EVERYONE
Long live Man Mountain.
LORD FLIMNAP
Stay within your houses, by royal order.
GULLIVER
Which is the way to His Majesty’s Palace at Blefaborac citizen?
CITIZEN OF MILDENDO
It’s where our two great streets come together!
Gulliver turns in a new direction.
16.
GULLIVER
Why I thank you citizen.
SCENE 6: TOUR TO THE EMPRESS’ APARTMENTS
The lights come up on the Queen and her Lady in Waiting.
LADY FLIMNAP
The colossus is in the Blenheim Courtyard Your Majesty.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Mon dieu. Is everything looking magnificent?
LADY FLIMNAP
Oui. Don’t tell the Emperor but I can’t wait to see how big it is ..
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Imagine.
Gulliver surprises them by being at the window. Both women look up, look at each other and giggle
GULLIVER
Hello Your Highness. What a delightful residence you have here. It’s daintier than my daughter
Betty’s Doll’s House. You must have paid a lot for it eh?
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
It was my dowry Man Mountain.
GULLIVER
Oh really?
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
My father is the Emperor of Blefuscu - their King married me strategically. The palace was so fusty,
gothic and well, Lilliputian when I arrived, and so I have spent years Blefuscifying it.
LADY FLIMNAP
I dare you to look up.
17.
GULLIVER
And who is this Your Majesty?
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
This is Lady Flimnap, my Lady in Waiting and my husband’s mistress.
GULLIVER
Oh.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Lady Flimnap you are dismissed. I prefer to be Blefuscan about these things. So - she has three
children now and I zero.
Lady Flimnap curtsies and still can’t stop giggling.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT (CONT’D)
Here is my hand.
She puts her hand out of the window.
GULLIVER
I am very honoured that you put your hand out of the window for me Your Highness.
Gulliver gives her hand a slobbery kiss.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Ugh. I’m sure my husband is waiting for you in his cabinet Man Mountain.
SCENE 7: TOUR TO THE EMPEROR’S APARTMENTS
Gulliver crosses to the Emperor’s cab inet and peers through the window. The King holds a gold sceptre aloft under and over which Lord Flimnap is leaping and creeping.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Good Morning Man Mountain. Under-
LORD FLIMNAP
We’ve been expecting you.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Over- Boy what purpose do you think this trial of dexterity serves?
18.
GULLIVER
It keeps your ministers fit and flexible for their old age?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Over. No. The ancient art of leaping and creeping exercises the Art of Politics. Under! Lord Flimnap
is a candidate for the great office of Commander of our Lilliputian Expeditionary Force against
Blefuscu. Over!
GULLIVER(joking)
Would you like me to apply too?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Actually I would. Under.
GULLIVER
How?
LORD FLIMNAP
By competing in this ceremony of course!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT(raising the sceptre to an impossible height)
Over - over - over!
Go and find some dusty hole and shuffle papers in it.
LORD FLIMNAP
I am sorry if my elasticity has disappointed Your Majesty. Under?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Off with you!
Lord Flimnap leaves. The Emperor takes out a hard boiled egg.
Man Mountain which end should I break my breakfast egg on? The big end or the little end?
GULLIVER
The convenient end.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Are you mocking me boy?
19.
GULLIVER
No.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Good. In the other Empire of the universe they believe that eggs should only be broken on their big
end. Now what do you say to that?
GULLIVER
That must be the wrong end.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Right.
GULLIVER
Right.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Right. The Godly way is to break one’s egg on its smaller end. Our two empires have been
engaged in the most bloody and obstinate war over this orthodoxy for last six and thirty moons. My
grandfather, the Emperor with six wives, was the very first Small Endian on Lilliput, and I have
inherited from him his love of a roast swan, a well-planned execution and of course a crusade. To
come to the point, my wife’s spies have informed us today, that the Emperor of the miniscule
Empire of Blefuscu, has assembled fifty men-of-war, and if there is a fair wind tonight, they will sail
against Lilliput tonight!
GULLIVER
Tonight?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Tonight. I have every faith in your strength, valour and gratitude my magnificent Man Mountain and I
will be waiting for you, your bulk and your strategy on my seashore at sunset tonight.
GULLIVER
Tonight ... tonight ... tonight...
Gulliver looks around with his telescope.
20.
SCENE 8: GULLIVER SEIZES THE NAVAL FLEET AT BLEFUSCU
A seashore at sunset.
Gulliver is holding fifty metal cab les and hooks.
The Empress holds out her hand. She is holding back the tears.
GULLIVER
Your Highness, I hope to have the honour of kissing your hand upon my victorious return
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Be merciful to my father Man Mountain, he is a good man.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Make haste - I want the fun to start now.
ENSEMBLE
God is with you Man Mountain - God be with you Man Mountain etc.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Oh I wish I’d asked if I could sail over on his shoulder.
Music. Gulliver wades into the sea and eventually starts to swim. As he moves away the cries of good wishes from the Lilliputians fade to a mid-sea silence.
ADMIRAL OFBLEFUSCU
A man eating giant is wading its way into Blefuscu harbour Your Majesty.
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU
Muster every sailor on Blefuscu.
Gulliver arrives at the Blefuscan ships and starts to attach his tackle to their prows.
GULLIVER
People of Blefuscu if you hold your fire then I’ll promise not to/ hurt you.
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU
God save Big Endians! Draw. Aim. /Fire!
ENSEMBLE
Fire!
21.
GULLIVER
Stop prickling me!
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU
Aim for his eyes you twits!
ENSEMBLE
Draw. Aim./ Fire.
ADMIRAL OFBLEFUSCU
Fire. We’re winning!
Gulliver puts on his glasses.
GULLIVER
Your losing. Agh.
ENSEMBLE
Oh no!
GULLIVER
Fee-fi- fo-fum- I smell the blood of a Blefuscan.
Be he live or be he dead - I’ll take your tallest for my bread!
Gulliver picks up the Emperor puppet who carries on fighting. The Blefuscans stop firing and start to whimper and wail.
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU
Keep fighting Blefuscu. I am proud to die as your Emperor.
Gulliver puts the Emperor into his pocket. The Blefuscans stop fighting so much.
GULLIVER
But I promised your daughter I’d be merciful.
ENSEMBLE
He’s cutting our ships adrift!
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU AND ENSEMBLE
AAgggghhhhh!
22.
ENSEMBLE
He’s dragging our ships to Lilliput! Aaggggggggggghhhhhhh.
Gulliver starts to drag the ships away with him.
Sound effect of wooden ships moving off together.
GULLIVER
Can you swim Your Highness?
EMPEROR OFBLEFUSCU
Like a whale.
GULLIVER
Then swim back to your Blefuscu
ENSEMBLE
Blefuscu is undone...
GULLIVER
Bloody arrows.
The sun is rising. The voices of the Blefuscans get a little quieter as Gulliver moves away. Gulliver picks the arrows out of his clothing. He walks up the Lilliputian beach.
Long Live the most powerful and puissant Emperor of Lilliput.
PEOPLE OFLILLIPUT
Long Live Man Mountain!
Gulliver makes a show of his strength.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
People of Lilliput God has sent this man to help and defend you.
The people cheer.
We hereby honour this man with Lilliput’s highest title of Nardac.
Gulliver kneels.
GULLIVER
I thank Your Majesties.
23.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
It is we who have to thank you. Rise Nardac Man Mountain .
People of Lilliput, once Nardac Man Mountain swims back to Blefuscu and returns with the
remainder of the enemy’s fleet, Blefuscu will be reduced to a province of Lilliput!
ENSEMBLE
God save Nardac Man Mountain.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
With Man Mountain’s help, we will destroy and put to death the Big-Endian heretics, and compel the
whole universe to break its eggs on their smaller ends! Won’t we Nardac Man Mountain?
GULLIVER
No Your Majesty
EMPEROR AND ENSEMBLE
Uh?
GULLIVER
I will not make free people into s laves.
ENSEMBLE
Uh?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
You are my subject, I am your King. I think for you. Don’t I?
ENSEMBLE
Yes!
GULLIVER(to the audience)
I refuse to let him become sole monarch of his universe.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Are you ready to do your duty?
GULLIVER
I think all true believers should break their eggs on their convenient ends.
24.
The Emperor is speechless with rage.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Then I am going to host a banquet on the beach in your honour Man Mountain.
Gulliver picks up the Queen’s puppet and takes her off to the picnic.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Heretic!
LORD FLIMNAP
Heretic.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT AND LORD FLIMNAP
Heretic.
GULLIVER(quietly )
Your Majesty I kept your father safe in my pocket and let him swim back to Blefuscu. In fact no one
was killed in the battle.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Merci. I am in your debt.
GULLIVER
I hope to be of service again.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Would Man Mountain like to taste some bread baked in the Blefuscan style?
Miniature baskets of French bread are given to Gulliver by the puppet Queen.
GULLIVER
Yes please.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Voila!
PEOPLE OFLILLIPUT
Long Live Nardac Man Mountain. Ten
25.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
He’s the people’s hero now.
ENSEMBLE
Twenty.
LORD FLIMNAP
His diet could soon cause a famine.
ENSEMBLE
Two hundred.
GULLIVER
More.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
To wash it all down, here is wine from my own vineyards on Blefuscu.
Miniature barrels are handed to Gulliver by the puppet Queen. Gulliver throws each barrel away and the ensemble run away.
PEOPLE OFLILLIPUT
Seven.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
We should starve him to death.
ENSEMBLE AND GULLIVER
Seventy.
LORD FLIMNAP
The stench of so large a carcass might provoke a plague in our metropolis.
ENSEMBLE AND GULLIVER AND EMPRESS
Seven hundred!
GULLIVER
People of Mildendo I thank you. To Mildendo!
Gulliver belches. He is more than a little drunk. He picks up yet more barrels and throws them to the ground.
26.
ENSEMBLE
To Mildendo!
GULLIVER
To Lilliput!
ENSEMBLE
To Lilliput!
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
To Nardac Man Mountain.
ENSEMBLE
To Nardac Man Mountain!
GULLIVER
Excellent people of Lilliput I must thank you for your hospitality.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
We thank you. From this day forward, let this day be known as Nardac Man Mountain Day!
Wild cheering.
GULLIVER
And now children, come and play in my pockets!
Gulliver goes to his house, curls up to go to sleep.
SCENE 9: GULLIVER URINATES ON THE QUEEN’S APARTMENT AND FLEES
The shadow puppet fire begins.
The sound of a fire - palace alarm bells- it becomes louder as Gulliver’s party approach the palace.
Gulliver is asleep in his Temple and snoring loudly.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Help! Fire! Fire! Fire I’m trapped Help Fire etc.
The Lilliputians bang on the Temple doors.
27.
LADY FLIMNAP
Wake up Nardac Man Moutain? Wake up - fire has broken out in the Empress’ apartments!
GULLIVER
Fire? How?
LADY FLIMNAP
A Maid of Honour was reading a Blefuscan romance and feel asleep over it...
GULLIVER
Headless girl.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Help!
Gulliver leaves for the palace.
LORD FLIMNAP
Clear every street for Nardac Man Mountain, by Royal Order.
ENSEMBLE
Make way - make way.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Help!
GULLIVER
Stay calm Your Highness, I’m coming to save you.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Help! If I jump I’ll crack my legs in four.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Make haste Man Mountain!
GULLIVER
I’m here Your Highness.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Merci.
28.
GULLIVER
Pray climb up into my hand.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Merci Man Mountain.
GULLIVER
Pray stand back Your Majesty.
Gulliver brings the Empress to the Emperor
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Ma cherie you’re safe.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Oui. Deluge the flames Man Mountain.
The whole ensemble forms a chain gang to pass buckets to Gulliver.
GULLIVER
Faster - faster- faster - let’s work in double time.
ENSEMBLE AND GULLIVER
Faster!
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
When will it rain?
ENSEMBLE
Faster - faster - faster!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Do something Man Mountain.
GULLIVER
People of Lilliput watch how your Nardac can rain on a fire!
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Noooo!
29.
GULLIVER
And out she sizzles.
Gulliver urinates all over the palace. Pissing and crackling sounds. The Lilliputians watch in horror.
Thank God for that presence of mind.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Our palace has been defiled.
Gulliver approaches the Emperor and Empress.
GULLIVER
I’m delighted that I just drank so much of your delicious Blefuscan wine Your Majesty.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Nardac Man Mountain it is high treason to make water within the Royal Precincts.
GULLIVER
I know. But my waters have saved your magnificent palace at Blefaborac. Long Live the Empress!
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Long Live the Emperor.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Grovel before me.
GULLIVER
What’s happening?
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
It was a malicious, treacherous, devilish discharge. Eh! People of Lilliput how should your
Emperor punish such a traitor?
LORD FLIMNAP
Set fire to his house at night!
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
And then surround it with twenty thousand men armed with poisoned arrows.
30.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
How will we dispose of the body?
LORD FLIMNAP
It’ll be cremated Your Majesty.
GULLIVER
Your Majesty I am your most loving Nardac.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Man Mountain although your crimes are great, there is still room for mercy.
LORD FLIMNAP
Mercy is a most commendable virtue in a Prince and one for which the Emperor is so justly
celebrated. Long/Live the Emperor.
PEOPLE OFLILLIPUT
Long Live the Emperor!
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
As a mark of my great friendship and favour towards you Man Mountain, I am going to order my
surgeons to simply press sharp pointed arrows into the balls of your eyes.
Gulliver stands.
GULLIVER
No.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Yes I say.
GULLIVER
No I say.
Gulliver tears a great rock out of the palace walls.
GULLIVER (CONT’D)
No. People of Mildendo I could pelt your palace to pieces.
31.
EVERYONE
No!
Gulliver towers menacingly over the people of Lilliput.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
I will fight you to the death Man Mountain!
GULLIVER
You are the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that ever crawled upon the surface of the
earth. Now if Your Highnesses will excuse me, I have an invitation to visit the Emperor of Blefuscu.
And I’m travelling by ship.
Gulliver throws his stone wide of the people who all scatter and scream. Gulliver swims away with a ship.
EMPEROR OFLILLIPUT
Come back and fight me like a big man.
EMPRESS OFLILLIPUT
Oh my palace...
SCENE 10: ESCAPE FROM LILLIPUT
Very loud sounds of the sea. Music.
It is still night time with a touch of dawn on the horizon.
Gulliver is floating on the sea with his ships in his hands. There is fog and he’s lost.
He empties a sheep in a cage into his mouth.
TOM WATKINS
A hundred years is a very long time,
Ho, yes, ho!
A hundred years is a very long time,
A hundred years ago.
They used to think that pigs could fly
32.
ENSEMBLE
Ho, yes, ho!
TOM WATKINS
I don't believe it, no, not I.
ENSEMBLE
A hundred years ago.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
They thought the stars were set a-light,
GULLIVER
Ho, yes, ho!
ENSEMBLE
By some good angel every night,
ENSEMBLE AND GULLIVER
A hundred years ago.
TOM WATKINS
Captain there’s someone floating down there in the water.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Haul to starboard.
GULLIVER
Help!
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Ready about?
ENSEMBLE
Ready.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
And Heave Ho.
33.
GULLIVER
Mij helpen!
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
We’re coming to get you! Who’s down there?
GULLIVER
My name is Lemuel Gulliver.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Thy life’s a miracle. The Swallow went down north west of Van Diemen’s Land nine months ago.
Haven’t you recognised my voice yet Lemuel?
GULLIVER
No..
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
It’s your old sea pal Peter Williams..
GULLIVER
This is the kind of thing that only happens in books!
FIRST MATE
Welcome aboard
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
The Swift
ENSEMBLE
Gulliver.
TOM WATKINS
We’re sailing for Japan if we don’t run out of fresh water ...
They thought the moon was made of cheese.
34.
ENSEMBLE
Ho, yes, ho!
You can believe it if you please.
A hundred years ago.
A hundred years is a very long time,
Ho, yes, ho!
A hundred years is a very long time,
A hundred years ago.
SCENE 11: ARRIVAL IN BROBDINGNAG
The sailors’ song accompanies the sailors as they row ashore. The song fades away as they climb out onto the beach. The natural sounds of the beach sound louder than might be expected. There is the rumble of humid thunder in the air. The sailors carry vessels for water collection.
TOM WATKINGS
Waterfalls of the Pacific- Tom Watkins is dreaming of you!
WATCH LEADER(to the audience)
I’m so thirsty I could drink bilge water.
GULLIVER
Ugh.
WATCH LEADER
Captain if there be lava due east, there may be creeks due west.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Hmm.
GULLIVER(Only Gulliver still has a water bottle)
Peter can I have leave to make what discoveries I can?
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Go - go.
35.
Gulliver walks up into the auditorium and the Captain sits down to rest.
WATCH LEADER (sarcastically )
Has he got his Union Jack to hand?
TOM WATKINS
Water! Up here! Water.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Water men. Water!
The sailors run towards the water and fall into it, scooping it up and rolling in it.
An earth tremor begins.
WATCH LEADER
Water! Sweet water.
TOM WATKINS
I’m so happy I’m blowing bubbles.
WATCH LEADER
What’s that?
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Don’t be alarmed - it’s only a volcanic tremor.
The sailors all start to feel the tremor but really want to drink.
WATCH LEADER
Captain Williams something or someone is banging something somewhere.
TOM WATKINS
Cannibals ...
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Quick! Fill up the water vessels.
Tom Watkins belches loudly.
36.
WATCH LEADER
It’s getting darker.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
That’s the sun in the pines. The Lord be praised - that tree’s taller than our cathedral at Salisbury.
Very loud sounds of Glumdalclitch laughing. Every time her feet bang the sailor group bounces up.
WATCH LEADER
But it has two legs?
TOM WATKINS
Uh?
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
That hand is bigger than I am. It’s a -
WATCH LEADER AND CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Giant!!
TOM WATKINS
A giant?
WATCH LEADER & CAPTAIN
A giantess!!
Incredulous pause. Then they all scream together.
ENSEMBLE
Run Tom! Run! Run. Giant. It’s a giant etc.
They run around the stage and clamber back into their boat.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Wait. Have any of you men seen Doctor Gulliver?
TOM WATKINS
Uh-ah.
37.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Gru - gru.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
But I was best man at his wedding..
Watch Leader bangs him on the head with an oar and throws him in the boat.
TOM WATKINS
That’s mutiny.
WATCH LEADER
That’s orders. Come on Tom. Two six
TOM AND WATCH LEADER
Heave!
WATCH LEADER
Two six
TOM AND WATCH LEADER
Heave etc
Glumdalclitch enters the stage.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Gru Gru back mala dingnag. I’m only a little girl. Gru Gru back mala dingnag
GULLIVER
WAIT FOR GULLIVER!
TOM WATKINS
God be with you Gulliver!
Glumdalclitch enters the water. She is trying to catch up with the sailors. As she wades in deeper the sheet rises higher.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Gru gru back mala dingnag- gru gru backk - Don’t be frightened. Gru back. OOhhh. Gru- gru back!
I’m out of my depth! Oh Sekool Daddy! SekoolI me Daddy - Daddy..
38.
The lights come on in the ship’s model. We can only hear the sailor’s voices.
CAPTAIN PETER WILLIAMS
Ach I’ve an egg on my head. Where’s Doctor Gulliver?
GULLIVER
I’m squeezed between two blades of corn like a field mouse.
The ship sails away. Beat.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Ah-what tiny footprints they left. One, two, three, four ... Ah- ha -this doll’s cup will be my prettiest
treasure. GOZOL! MUMMY! DADDY!
She gets down on all fours and starts to crawl, tracing the tiny footprints with her finger tips. Every time she takes a step there is a bang. We can hear her heavy breathing.
GULLIVER
Oh I should try to end my days!
Glumdalclitch discovers Gulliver’s hiding place and watches him intently.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Ah-ha!
GULLIVER(scared and conf ounded)
Oh my desolate widow.
Gozol, Mistress Brumdalnitch and Farmer Brumdalnitch arrive.
GLUMDALCLITCH(in a low v oice)
Gozol - Daddy -Mummy- it’s a pixie.
GOZOL
They’re real?
GLUMDALCLITCH
Didn’t I always say I believed in fairies?
39.
MISTRESS BRUMDALNITCH
Ugh.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Shhh. I’m planning how to catch him.
The Farmer puts on his gardening gloves. He gets ready to catch Gulliver.
GULLIVER
If that water mill takes another step I shall be squelched to death. I want to live and have
adventures! Ahhhhhh!
Gulliver produces his puppet before them and screams with all his force.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Got ya!
MISTRESS BRUMDALNITCH
Agh!
The farmer picks him up between his thumb and middle finger and holds him up to his face. Glumdalclitch screeches with delight.
GULLIVER
Woh Stop pinching me so grievously!
MISTRESS BRUMDALNITCH
Brumdal it’s a splacknuck. Yuck!
GULLIVER
My dear kind Sir, I humbly greet you and your little ones. I come in peace. Peace!
MISTRESS BRUMDALNITCH
Dash its little face on that rock pool. Now!
GLUMDALCLITCH AND GOZOL
No!
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Sh wife. It’s probably more scared than you are.
40.
GULLIVER
Stop squeezing me Sir.
Gulliver groans, sheds tears, and turns his head towards his sides.
The farmer puts Gulliver on all fours and he and his children hunker down around him.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Look - it goes on two legs!
GLUMDALCLITCH
He’s so pretty.
GOZOL
You don’t need to be scared now Mummy.
Mrs Brumdalnitch sniffs. The group watch Gulliver walk about with fascination.
GULLIVER
Kind Sir, I humbly present you with my gold sovereign.
Gulliver offers him a gold coin. To the farmer it is the size of a pinhead. He puts his ear to the ground to hear Gulliver.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
What’s that he’s saying?
GLUMDALCLITCH
It’s fairy language.
GULLIVER(the same in Dutch)
Ik bied u mijn gouden medaille.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
I couldn’t buy a grain of barley for that. Maybe you could use it for a sequin Growgrootha?
MISTRESS BRUMDALNITCH
Maybe..
41.
GOZOL
Give it back to him.
The farmer tries to give the gold to Gozol but then gives it back to Gulliver.
GLUMDALCLITCH
But it’s fairy gold! Come on little man.
She picks up puppet Gulliver.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
In stories, if you find a fairy, that fairy will make you rich.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Only if you promise to be good.
The family leave.
Glumdalclitch picks puppet Gulliver up and starts to sing him a lullaby.
GULLIVER
Woh. Glumdalclitch is my school mistress and has taught me to speak Brobdingnagian and given
me the name of Grildig which in Latin is nanunculus, in Italian bambolino and in English midget.
SCENE 12: THE STREETS OF FLANFLASNIC
Travelling music. Gulliver is in his travelling box.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Oyez - hear ye - oyez - come one come all to view the Grildig spectacle at The Sign of the Green
Eagle- come and see the tiniest creature in the world - in every part it is an human creature and
yet it is no higher than a splacknuck!
GLUMDALCLITCH
A splacknuck?
GULLIVER(aside f rom his cage)
Their native animal - very finely shaped and about six feet in height.
42.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Don’t be getting any ideas Glumdalclitch...I’ll be back with lots of customers...
The Farmer exits.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Look Grildig - look at the walled city of Flanflasnic.
GULLIVER
What a great heap of buildings... Flanflasnic’s streets make me think of mountainous gorges.
BEGGAR(to Glumdalclitch)
Can you spare us some change for gruel love? Egh what do you have there?
The beggar peers at Gulliver. He keeps scratching and has no teeth.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Ugh... Holding is thirty jirons, touching is twenty and looking is five.
BEGGAR
Hello.
GULLIVER
Wait Glumdalclitch. He’s so full of interesting diseases.
The beggar sneezes.
GULLIVER (CONT’D)
Ugh. Kind Sir, would it please you if I took a sample of your wart?
BEGGAR
I’ve lots of warts, which one do you want?
GULLIVER
That magnificent one.
Gulliver tries to cut off a sample with his scalpel.
BEGGAR
That’s the mouldy one on the tip of my nose. Agh! You’re a vicious little runt aren’t you?
43.
The beggar takes the travelling box and shakes it and in so doing frightens Gulliver into the hollow of the sheet which will become the giant table.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Daddy!
The farmer puts his arm around his daughter and the travelling box, and in so doing b locks actor Gulliver standing behind him.
SCENE 13: FREAK SHOW AT THE SIGN OF THE GREEN EAGLE
ENSEMBLE(they hav e responded to the f armer’s sales pitch)
Oh ah oh
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Oyez . Come one come all to see the one hundred and one diverting tricks of Grildig the brave!
The remaining ensemble enter and crowd around the sheet and start pulling the corners.
ENSEMBLE
Oh - ah- oh - etc
GULLIVER
Excellent people of Flanflas nic , I come before you a weary traveller, to educate and perhaps to
amaze you. Sh. Ladies and Gentlemen I will now present you with my hanger...
He takes out his hanger and demonstrates various fencing poses and lunges.
SHEPHERD BOY
Ha-ha.
MISTRESS BUZGLOOPEE
Oh I want to take him home to play with my Zumbalcoo. She’s only two.
GLUMDALCLITCH
He’s my Grildig.
GULLIVER
Excellent people I am also skilled at the ancient art of pike staffery.
44.
MISTRESS BUZGLOOPEE
What’s that?
GULLIVER
Mistress Buzgloopee my hanger will now represent a very very long metal pole to you. Armed with
this I and my fellow pikem en march in close formation, and when we have the enemy at close
quarters, we form a pike block and then slowly s lowly slowly we push Frenchie back into
submission.
Gulliver demonstrates pike staffing techniques. Everyone laughs.
ENSEMBLE
More!
SHEPHERD BOY
What do you do if you’re on the losing side little man?
GULLIVER
Should our push of the pike fail, we take out our hangers and slash our way through the ranks...
MISTRESS BUZGLOOPE
Someone bring the little man a drink!
More laughter. A giant thimble is lowered onto where Gulliver is standing. He smiles.
ENSEMBLE
Drink. Drink. Drink!
GULLIVER
Ah a libation. Why I thank you Flanflasnic! To Flanfasnic!
ENSEMBLE
To Flanflasnic.
GULLIVER
To England
ENSEMBLE
To England. To Brobdingnag.
45.
GULLIVER
To Brobdingnag.
ENSEMBLE
Drink- drink- drink!
As he drinks the ensemble cheer, clap and stamp him on. He sways about.
The ensemble all change places at the table. Mistress Buzgloopee dons a mask to play the Queen of Brobdingnag.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Oyez - come one come all to the Grildig Show the seventh sold out performance of the day!
Gulliver is weary and resentful.
GULLIVER
My hanger! Very feared by my enemies.
ENSEMBLE
More!
GULLIVER
The ancient art of pike staffery.
ENSEMBLE
More.
GULLIVER
Would someone bring this man a drink?
He drinks and very nearly falls.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Oyez - come one - come all to the twelfth and nearly sold out Grildig Show of the day! But never fear
if you can’t catch the evilest, vilest, tiniest creature in Brobdingnag today, we’re here at the Sign of
the Green Eagle for another two hundred and two shows!
GULLIVER
My hanger!
46.
Gulliver collapses and the Farmer tries to poke him awake
ENSEMBLE
What a rip off! Boo.
Everyone leaves except for a masked woman and Glumdalclitch.
SCENE 14: THE QUEEN PURCHASES THE GRILDIG
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH(He whistles and calls like he is herding an animal.)
Up with you splacknuck up. Now, or they’ll be asking for a refund! Up Splacknuck up! Up I say! Up!
GLUMDALCLITCH
Daddy...if Grildig does any more Grildig shows,
GLUMDALCLITCH AND GULLIVER
Grildig says he could die.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
It seems that Grildig’s been reduced to a skeleton.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH(starting to count his money )
Show time’s over Mistress.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
It’ll be over when I say it’s over.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Mistress ... However, if you join my Friends of Grildig scheme you can have an exclusive audience
with Grildig for the gold price of /
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
No-that won’t be appropriate. Besides I’m the Queen of Brobdingnag in disguise! Ta-da! Now what
do you say to that?
Musical flourish, possib le musical underscore from here. She takes out a bank note with her face on it and rips off her disguise.
47.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Eh. Is that for the platinum membership?
GLUMDALITCH
We are not worthy Your Majesty.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
That’s right on your knees girl.
GULLIVER
My spirits are revived by the Influence of your most August Presence, and I will now beg the honour
of kissing the Imperial foot. Glumdalclitch please.
Puppet Gulliver is lifted to the level of the Queen’s finger tip by Glumdalclitch. He embraces it with both of his arms.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Don’t you have a strong grip Grildig?
The Farmer and the Queen politely laugh.
GULLIVER(aside)
She’s delighted by so much strength in so diminutive an animal.
Musical underscore anticipating the excitement of going to court.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Oh! We should like to purchase you for a fair price.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Him no!
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Whist! Your Majesty can have the girl and the grildig for a thousand pieces of gold.
Puppet Gulliver and his travelling box are handed over.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Done.
48.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Hooray!
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
I’ll have to send the King of Thailand my white elephant to pay for my Grildig but what of it?
Groogoly Grildig. I’m your Mummy now.
GULLIVER
Groogol Mummy.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Groogol Daddy.
FARMER BRUMDALNITCH
Groogol Little Glum. Next time your mother and I’ll see you, you’ll look like a fairy princess. Don’t
forget to send us your portrait and eh some pocket money eh?
Musical sequence showing their little procession off to court. Glumdalclitch is given her new dress by the Queen. She then brushes the Queen’s hair.
SCENE 15: GULLIVER IS ABDUCTED BY A MONKEY
Gulliver is writing his diary at his desk with a feather quill.
GULLIVER
Today it is Dwindle Dwarf’s turn to amuse Her Majesty, so I’ve decided to stay in my peaceful
travelling box and ponder my travels for the benefit of public and private life.
A loud bouncing and skipping sound is heard.
What’s that? Oh my Jacks and Jakes! It’s the King’s monkey.
The monkey skips around to the other side and rattles the miniature box.Although he is much alarmed Gulliver keeps very still.
If you’re wondering why I don’t call Glumdalclitch, it’s because I don’t want to alert that frolicsome
fiend’s attention.
The monkey spies Gulliver and makes faces, it grins, it claps, it chatters.
MONKEY
Go - gagaa ga aga ga go go...
49.
Gulliver tries to hide in the corner. The monkey goes closer. Gulliver moves again and a cat and mouse game ensues.
GULLIVER(sometimes sarcastic, as goes to dif f erent corners of the box)
What pleasure. What peeping. What chattering. What grinning. What curiosity. Why I even want the
presence of mind to hide myself.
The monkey pulls open the miniature door and pulls puppet Gulliver out.
No - no . Aghhhh! Ouch.
MONKEY
Gu-gu.
The monkey holds him as a nurse might hold a suckling baby and strokes his face. If Gulliver struggles it squeezes him harder. The monkey offers him its breast.
GULLIVER
She’s mistaken me for one of her own species. It may be more prudent to submit.
Gulliver suckles
MONKEY
Goooooo. Goooo.
GULLIVER
Hm. It tastes a bit like coconut milk.
The monkey clamps his head to her breast again. Gulliver suckles again. Glumdalclitch enters and looks inside the travelling box..
GLUMDALCLITCH
Grildig?
GULLIVER(muf f led by the breast)
Glumdalclitch...
GLUMDALCLITCH
Ahhh! Sekool - gru! GRU!
The monkey shrieks with pleasure and takes off on high with him.
50.
GULLIVER
Glumdalclitch! Sekoool!
GLUMDALCLITCH
Sekool! It’s taking him up the drainpipe- Sekool! Sekool! etc
The sound of an alarm being raised. A bell is ringing.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG VOICEOVER
This is a palace emergency. This is a palace emergency. Calling all palace guards to the Queen’s
Quarters. Her Majesty’s midget has been abducted by His Majesty’s monkey.
The sound of uproar and the palace guards mustering.
The Queen enters
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Run for ladders page boys! Gru pages gru!
GLUMDALCLITCH
Gru pages gru. Climb faster please! Gru - gru.
DWARF(running onto the stage, to the audience)
Now I’m the smallest grildig again. Whoopee!
The monkey settles down. Everyone on ground level looks up as they follow the ladders. Laughter.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Are you alright up there Grildig?
GULLIVER(to the audience)
Hundreds of the court are looking up at me. I’m famous. I could touch the clouds from this height
Your Majesty. In fact I!
The monkey teasingly plays around with Gulliver like a man about to throw a stick to a dog. The Queen and Glumdalclitch run to all the possib le places they might catch him from.
51.
MONKEY
Gra,gra, gra goo! ....Na,na,nag,nooo,.. Pra,prag,proo..pooh!
ENSEMBLE
Oh...ah...oh etc.(This goes on f or three rounds)
GLUMDALCLITCH
No Monkey No. Sekool! CATCH GRILDIG!
The monkey raises its arm to throw Gulliver down.
Puppet Gulliver is thrown. Actor Gulliver returns to the stage with b lown up cheeks.
GLUMDALCLITCH (CONT’D)
You’re safe.
ENSEMBLE
Hooray!
GULLIVER(still with crammed cheeks)
Thank you for saving me Little Nurse. (jealous that his brav ery could hav e been called into question)
Loud laughter. The Queen takes him to her breast and strokes him.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Ah Come and tell Mummy all about it Grildig.
GULLIVER
I was so frightened I forgot about my hanger, but if I’d thought of it, why when she poked her paw
into my box I’d have given her such a wound.
DWARF.
The Lilliputians looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world.
Gulliver falls a vomiting.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Ugh. Somebody take the splacknuck -
52.
The Queen drops him and the dwarf catches him.
DWARF
I’ll give him a bath Your Majesty. Glumdalclitch you’re not allowed in the boys bathroom. (f rom inside the bathroom)
I love bath time. It’s my favourite time of the day.
We hear the sound of flushing water. Gulliver being half drowned and the dwarf laughing. Glumdalclitch stands downstage in agony.
SCENE 16: THE QUEEN’S BODY
DWARF
I found monkey marks on his spotty behind.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Poor Grildig. We must put some salve on them. Glumdalclitch please. There.. there. Mummy’s
finding so many bruises. Can you roll over please? Oh it is such a pleasure to see and to touch you
Grildig.
DWARF.
Oh it’s so tiny.
GULLIVER
Not where I come from.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Grildig you’re still shivering from your bath. Let Mummy warm you up.
She puts the Gulliver puppet to her chest.
DWARF
Imagine you’re back with your monkey mummy and give her a good suck. Ha-ha.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG(to Dwindle Dwarf )
Beware the whip fool!
DWARF(to himself )
I love you.
53.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG(to Gulliv er)
Do something Grildig you’re not a puppet!
DWARF
Inside should be cosier - Your Majesty.
GULLIVER
Oh brother not in there.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Don’t wriggle. And don’t pretend it’s your first time.
Lullaby Grildig ...
The Queen and Dwindle Dwarf sing a lullaby that underscores the ‘breast scene’
GULLIVER(the puppet is inside the brassiere)
Her skin is so vari fied with pores, spots, pimples and freckles, that nothing could appear more
nauseous.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Oh ho ho you’re tickling me.
DWARF
I wish I was small enough to tickle you Your Majesty.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Why?
The Queen and the dwarf laugh knowingly.
GULLIVER
There is a mole as broad as a dinner plate and hairs hanging from it thicker than pack threads. I
wish I could pluck it.
Gulliver can’t resist himself and plucks.
54.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Ouch! You vile little man. And you can take your little toy back to the nursery. No! Make him do
something to serve me first.
DWARF
Isn’t that what Her Majesty paid a thousand jirons for?
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Why don’t you tell me how your father grew him, that would be so much more amusing than his
Lilliput...
DWARF.
Drown him in the bath.
GULLIVER
No brother. I wish to delight their Majesties with my music. After the Royal Banquet tomorrow, the
accomplished Grildig will celebrate his nation on the spinet.
SCENE 17: INTERVIEW WITH THE KING OFBROBDINGNAG
Gulliver plays Rule Britannia on an imagined piano, with great piano cudgels he has carved himself then covered them in mouse skin, whilst the King, Queen, Dwarf and Glumdalclitch look on.
DWARF.
Oh ‘my Jacks and Jakes’ what’s Grildig about to do to that piano?
GULLIVER
Rule Britania! Britannia rule the waves.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
They clap.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
He’s no greater than one of his Lilliputians. Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves..
DWARF.
Britannia rules the waves.
55.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
My little friend Grildig, having just listened to your most proud five hour presentation upon your great
British institutions, I must conclude that your Natives are the most pernicious race of odious little
vermin that ever crawled upon the surface of the earth.
DWARF
Very bad for the odious little vermin.
GULLIVER
Your Majesty I would like to tell you of a miraculous white powder. If a spark falls into an heap of
this powder, it flies up into the air with a noise and agitation that is greater than thunder. If Your
Majesty were to ram this powder into a hollow metal tube with a lead ball and fire it, why it could
destroy an army at once! It tears houses to pieces, bursts and throws splinters on every side and
dashes out the brains of all who come near it.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
How can such an impotent and grovelling an insect as you entertain such inhuman ideas?
GULLIVER(to the audience)
How prejudiced and narrow minded of the King.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
Well?
GULLIVER
My gunpowder could make you the absolute master of the lives, liberties and fortunes of your
people.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
I should rather lose half my kingdom than be privy to such a splacknuckish secret.(to Glumdalclitch)
I’d lock the little weasel up if I were you.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Yes Your Majesty.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
Wife I’ve had quite enough of your menagerie for the night.
56.
QUEEN OFBROBDINGNAG
Fine. Don’t throw away the key just yet.
KING OFBROBDINGNAG
It is time for the Buzgloopee Ceremony of the Royal Bedchamber.
The King takes the Queen’s arm and leaves, followed by the triumphant dwarf. Glumdalclitch puts Gulliver back in his travelling box.
DWARF.
I’ll look after the key for you Your Majesty. (to the audience)
She loves me!
GLUMDALCLITCH
You’re not going to cry are you Grildig?
SCENE 18: DEPARTURE FROM BROBDINGNAG
Glumdalclitch places Gulliver’s box on the seashore. She puts her lips through the bars to give him a kiss. The ensemble make seashore sounds.
GULLIVER
Mummy all I want is to be allowed out of my travelling-box and to walk about without the fear of
being trampled to death like a frog or a young puppy.
GLUMDALCLITCH(starting to cry )
But I promised Her Majesty I wouldn’t let you out - a seagull or an eagle might mistake Grildig’s wig
for a periwrinkle.
GULLIVER
Is that sentry up on the cliffs there to protect me from eagles?
GLUMDALCLITCH
No Grildig, that’s Her Majesty’s look out. He’s been scanning the sea for a Mrs Grildig for two years.
GULLIVER
Do you know what I’d like to do today Glumdalclitch? I’d like to tile the roof my travelling-box with
shells.
57.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Pretty!
GULLIVER
And I want to help look for shells too!
GLUMDALCLITCH
No Grildig. Her Majesty says Grildig plays inside. We haven’t forgotten how the monkey, the
sparrow, the spaniel, the rat and the cat came to find you out, have we?
GULLIVER
Groogol Little Glum. Ugh.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Groogol and be good for Mummy!
She gives him a big kiss and then jumps over the box and goes off to look for shells. She hums a lullaby.
GLUMDALCLITCH (CONT’D)
Splish - splash - splosh/ Granny’s in the wash/who put her in/my brother Gozol/how will we get her
out? with her old bottle of stout ... splishity, splashity, splosh...
GULLIVER
Oh little Betty...No ship can come and look for your father in Brobdingnag, as only I have discovered
it.
Sound and music. A golden eagle appears and circles the stage. It caws.
GLUMDALCLITCH(looking up and wav ing her arms)
Oh no!
GULLIVER
What’s that?
The eagle screeches at Glumdalclitch and drives her around the stage before Glumdalclitch runs away. It starts to inspect Gulliver’s travelling box. All the sounds of her movements are amplified.
58.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Gru! Grun! Somebody sekool! sekool!
GULLIVER
Agh. Please help me. Somebody sekool! Sekool me! Sekool! Glumdalclitch etc
The eagle violently picks up the box in her teeth and flies up into the sky.
GULLIVER (CONT’D)(looking down)
Groogol Glumdalclitch! Groogol for the last time! Groogol...
Glumdalclitch re-enters and sees the shadow eagle flying off.
GLUMDALCLITCH
Grildiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggg!
Glumdalclitch collapses in a crying heap and the lights darken over her.
GULLIVER
Oh my ... so this is what flying must feel like - and I Lemuel Gulliver will be the first man to ever
have achieved it.. Let’s record man’s first ever bird’s eye view.
He tries to stand up but falls down again with the motion. A bang and a buffet. Gulliver tries to remain calm. The eagle caws and violently shakes the travelling box. The sound of whooshing wind increases.
Agh all I can see is a wall of white fog- I must be in the clouds.
He starts to shiver.
Woh! Why they look like the Arctic landscapes of the North West passage I saw as a cabin boy.
GLUMDALCLITCH
The eagle wants to crack his box on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out his body and
eat him up...
A bang, a buffet and a sudden drop. The sound of beating wings increases.
GULLIVER
Oh I feel like a signpost in a windy day!
Two other eagles join the fray. The three eagles start to fight one another.
59.
GLUMDALCLITCH
GRILDIG!
The travelling box’s fall is st
Suddenly the eagle lets go of the box and it drops very fast. Gulliver spins around and around with the window. Blackout
GULLIVER
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Sekooooooooooooooooll!
Gulliver’s box lands in the water with a great splash.
I’m alive! Hurray! Hurrah! Hurray! Sekool! Help! Hilf mir! Mij helpen! Can anybody hear me?
Silence except for the waves.
If I can escape sinking for a day or two, what can I expect but a miserable death of cold and
hunger?
Fish played or puppeteered by the ensemble pass his window by.
Ah-ha- I see parum pisca tor. At least they’re not big enough to eat me. Oh I should of stayed in
Redriff with my Mrs Gulliver, and prescribed people’s pox, people’s pustules and people’s pus. No
one will ever read about poor Glumdalclitch now. And nobody will be educated by my travels.( to a member of the audience)
How long do you think it takes to die? I’m going to try to find out. You’ll tell me when it’s over won’t
you?
He lies down to sleep.
SCENE 19: GULLIVER IS RESCUED FROM BROBDINGNAG BY THE SAILORS
A shadow puppet boat sails onto the stage and discovers a shadow travelling box. A grating sound on the side of the box is heard. The lights flicker on and off.
ENSEMBLE
A hundred years is a very long time,
Ho, yes, ho!
A hundred years is a very long time,
A hundred years ago.
60.
(MORE)
They used to think that pigs could fly
Ho, yes, ho!
I don't believe it, no, not I.
A hundred years ago.
The Ensemble continue to hum A Hundred Years under the dialogue.
CAPTAIN THOMAS WILCOCKS
Men we need to be very careful. There could be a great criminal inside whom some Prince has put
to sea in a leaky vessel... If there be anybody down below let them speak now.
GULLIVER(v ery loudly )
Let me out of this monstrous dungeon!
CAPTAIN THOMAS WILCOCKS
Hold fast and we will.
Gulliver sniggers and laughs at the size of the sailors.
ENSEMBLE
They thought the moon was made of cheese.
CAPTAIN THOMAS WILCOCKS
Heave, men/ heave
ENSEMBLE
Heave,
GULLIVER
What tiny creatures my rescuers are.
ENSEMBLE
An hundred years ago.
The scene transforms to an English one.
61.
ENSEMBLE (CONT'D)
SCENE 20: THE RETURN TO MARY AND BETTY
MARY GULLIVER
They thought the stars were set a-light,
ENSEMBLE
Ho, yes, ho!
BETTY GULLIVER
By some good angel every night,
ENSEMBLE
A hundred years ago.
MARY GULLIVER
Lemuel.
GULLIVER
Mary!
MARY GULLIVER
My Lemuel?
Gulliver bends low to Mary’s knees.
GULLIVER
Come here and kiss me lass. Oh - ha ha ha....
MARY GULLIVER
What did they do to you Lemuel?
BETTY GULLIVER
Dearest Father, I’d like to ask your blessing.
Gulliver looks for her sixty foot in the sky.
GULLIVER
Why?
BETTY GULLIVER
I’m down here dearest father.
62.
MARY GULLIVER
Hasn’t Betty grown?
GULLIVER
She’s shrunk. Why have you starved yourselves to nothing?
BETTY GULLIVER
The last any of our families heard of The Swift was three long winters ago.
MARY GULLIVER
We need to talk.
He bends to take Betty and Mary into his hand. He looks them in the eye, as if it could help him keep balance.
GULLIVER
My Lilliputians climb into my hands for a chat. Oh ha ha...here’s our level.
MARY GULLIVER
Stop Lemuel.
GULLIVER
Do you know where your Daddy’s been Betty?
BETTY GULLIVER
Where?
GULLIVER
He’s been to a land of giants. And he’s bought you back a wart from a giant beggar’s nose.
Gulliver offers Betty the wart.
BETTY GULLIVER
Ugh. You are as horrid as Mummy says.
GULLIVER
But I was going to have it set in silver for your birthday.
MARY GULLIVER
Lemuel, please don’t ever put to sea again.
63.
The ensemble hum the tune of An hundred years on the Eastern Shore.
GULLIVER
Let’s talk about that later.
Gulliver and his wife dance.
BETTY GULLIVER AND ENSEMBLE
A hundred years is a very long time,
Ho, yes, ho!
A hundred years is a very long time,
A hundred years ago.
INTERVAL
SCENE 21: MUTINY ONBOARD SHIP - GULLIVER IS PUT ASHORE
Gulliver is now dressed as a captain. He is down in the ship’s hold and his ankle is chained to his bed. One pirate has his pistol trained on Gulliver. The sailors who surround him are half pirate half yahoo.
ENSEMBLE
Fifteen men on whole ship’s list
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
PIRATE FIRST MATE
The captain lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, aye, dam my eyes
All lookouts clapped on paradise
JAMES WELCH
All souls just bound contrary wise.
64.
ENSEMBLE
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
JAMES WELCH
Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark
ENSEMBLE
Yo ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
PIRATE FIRST MATE
Ten of the crew had a murder mark
ENSEMBLE
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
GULLIVER
Dearest Mary and Betty,
I hope and pray that life is still prosperous and sweet for you at Redriff. I should have learned the
lesson of knowing when I was well, instead I choose to become Captain of The Adventure.
I have terrible news. The good men you met onboard at Portsmouth all died of calentures and the
new crew I was forced to take on at Barbados have now turned my men pirate against me.
ENSEMBLE
Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the murder mark,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
JAMES WELCH
Lemuel Gulliver, our Captain has decided to rid himself of you.
GULLIVER
I am your Captain Welch.
Welch casually hits Gulliver.
65.
JAMES WELCH
Now you know who your Captain be.
Gulliver spits.
PIRATE FIRST MATE
You’re going to be set ashore at the first strip of sand we discover.
JAMES WELCH
A colonis ing a coward like you, would want to impress the natives with his golden grandeur.
PIRATE FIRST MATE
Get dressed Gulliver.
He hands Gulliver his captain’s uniform and Gulliver starts to dress.
GULLIVER
Kindly let me have a pocket pistol to fire over their heads.
JAMES WELCH
No. I believe in fair play.
PIRATES
Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho and a bottle of rum!
SCENE 22 ARRIVAL IN HOUYHNHNM’S LAND
The yahoos are in the fields. As Gulliver walks downstage with a necklace in his hand they shyly sneak up and surround him. Some of them mimic him.
Sounds of meadows adjoining the seashore.
GULLIVER
Now what to do? There are long rows of trees, fields of grass and a great field of oats over there.
But where are the natives? And where are their arrows? I’m so hungry I could give myself up to the
first savages I meet! I’m planing to buy my life from them with this trinket Betty made. Agh!
66.
He shows the audience a brightly coloured glass necklace. Teenage yahoo leaps for it and runs off. She puts it on.
TEENAGE YAHOO
Yahoo.
ALL YAHOOS.
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!
GULLIVER
Stop! Give that back. That’s made for trading, not stealing. Look at her - why she’s almost human.
Look at her dugs! Look! The deformed animal.
The remaining yahoos are fascinated by him and yobo yahoo advances directly. Gulliver brandishes his hanger and retreats under a tree. Yobo screws up his face so that it distorts in several directions and raises his forepaw, it is not clear if he wants to fight or if he is curious. The other yahoos cheer him on. He scratches his armpits.
What do you want? Ugh you stink like an unemptied bed pan.
YOBO YAHOO.(he display s himself )
Yabadababdoo!
ALL YAHOOS.
Yabadabayoo.
Gulliver smites the yahoo with the flat of his b lade. Yobo howls and all the yahoos come running. Heavy metal music. They pin him down with wild cries. They form a line and defecate together and then pelt and smear him with it. One of them gets his hanger and mockingly dances with it. Others stuff his mouth with shit or with vomit. There are a series of charges led by Yobo. Every time a shit hits Gulliver the yahoos cheer.
Help! Glumdalclitch sekool! Mij helpen! Menu de ajuda! Hilf mir! Mary I love you- Mary - Mummy-
Mary I love you - what a way to die. The cowards! You cowards!
Gulliver tries to make a run for it and picks up a shit and hurls it back at yobo.
YOBO YAHOO.
Galagala Gabooo!
67.
Yobo catches the shit and pelts him in the face with it. One takes his wig from his head, whilst another takes the hat and they dance around him with it. Female is now wearing the necklace. Sorrel Nag appears at a distance.
GULLIVER
Stop! Please stop! You can have all my bracelets, all my rings and all my other trinkets and toys if
you’d just stop. Sekool me now Glumdalclitch !
Gulliver is sobb ing and the yahoos are laughing at his defeat. Sorrel Nag rears up.
SORREL NAG
Neigh- heigh-heigh-heigh!
The yahoos screech and scramble. The hat and the wig are dropped. Some yahoos hide and some go to transition into horses. The hiding yahoos seethe in the bushes. Gulliver picks up his wig and Captain’s hat. Sorrel Nag stares at him. There is a moment of stillness.
Gwa illa yahoo? Gwa iila oo?
GULLIVER
I wish I’d a Brobdingnagian apple to say thank you with.
He whistles and attempts to pat her neck and she shakes her head, bends her brows and removes his hand with her hoof. She starts to circle him.
SORREL NAG
Hohaho. Hhum yahoo.
GULLIVER
Easy now. Easy ...Sh..
SORREL NAG
Hohaho. Hnuy illa.
GULLIVER
Easy now ... easy ... I know I stink like a sewer but, my gift with horses is well known...
SORREL NAG
Hhum yahoo hhum.
Master Grey enters the scene. He carries a collar and chain for catching yahoos.
68.
MASTER GREY
Hee Yahoo! Hee.
Both horses are astonished when Gulliver doesn’t obey.
Yahoo. Huhum maiah sorrel. Huhum
SORREL NAG
Huhum.
Master Grey canters to confer in neighs with Sorrel Nag. They greet one another by ritually pressing their hooves together. The words yahoo and houyhnhnm are frequently used which Gulliver starts to repeat to himself, whenever it is used. They look at him often.
GULLIVER
Ponder my travels- they’re quite fascinated by me! yahoo ... houyhnhnm... it seems that these
horses are conversing with one another, and if so their subject is me.. yahoo ......yahoo...yahoo.
FEMALE YAHOO.
Yahoo!
GULLIVER
Ugh!
A hiding yahoo pelts Gulliver with one more shit. The yahoo is reprimanded by Master Grey.
MASTER GREY
Sleigh yahoo sleigh.
Gulliver wipes some more shit away. The horses go back to their conversation.
GULLIVER
Ugh! I am amazed by these brutish beasts.
He wipes more shit away using his shaving mirror.
Houyhnhnm! Gentlemen, if you be shape shifting magicians, you can understand any language,
therefore I beg one of you to let me ride upon him, as if he were a real horse, and to bring me to the
nearest human dwelling.
69.
MASTER GREY
Neigh yahoo. Neigh!
Gulliver tries to mount Sorrel Nag’s back and is knocked out by Master Grey. Momentary b lack out. The neighs and cantering of horses.
SCENE 23: WAITING FOR THE WIZARD
Sorrel Nag washes and cleans Gulliver. When Gulliver wakes up he is bandaged and alone on a straw mat. Only he is lit on stage but there are horses in the shadows, possib ly undertaking domestic tasks such as laundry or sewing.
GULLIVER(He rubs his head)
No - I don’t know how long I’ve been here.
SORREL NAG
Neigh - heigh- brayye.
FOALS(shrill)
Neigh-heigh-houy-houy-pepe.
GULLIVER
I’m waiting for the human reply.
He lays out his trinkets and toys - three b racelets of false pearl, a small looking glass and a two knives.
MASTER GREY
Beheigh yahoo beigh.
The sound of horses cantering across open ground. Neighing conversation.
GULLIVER
Is everything their illusion? I see a clay floor, a wattled wall, a thatched roof, and a great manger.
Do you? I thought I saw a comely mare threading her needle with her hoof?!? Did you?
He rubs his eyes. He pinches himself. He becomes frantic.
I don’t want another adventure. i want to go home. I want to wake up. Wake me Mary. Please wake
me. Mary!
70.
SCENE 24: GULLIVER IS EXAMINED BY THE HOUYHNHNMS
Chief Houyhnhnm, Master Grey and Sorrel Nag all enter the playing area. Together they rear and stamp their feet on the earth with a clatter.
MASTER GREY
Cease yahoo.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
Cease.
There is a greeting ritual where the Chief offers Gulliver his hoof, Gulliver shakes it, instead of pressing it as a Houyhnhnhm would.
GULLIVER
Yahoo.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Yes you’re a yahoo, but what classification or breed are you? Have you grown up from the slime?
The mountain? Or the mud?
SORREL NAG
In Yahoo!
Female Yahoo enters chained
GULLIVER
Great magicians, I can’t understand a single neigh. Neigh.
FEMALE YAHOO
Neigh.
GULLIVER(to Female Yahoo with hatred)
Neigh.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
We have never encountered a yahoo that can speak before, though you don’t speak houyhnhnm do
you? Hhum yahoo.
Female Yahoo presses her hand to Gulliver’s hand. Gulliver can’t bear the stink and tries to pull away.
71.
GULLIVER
Yuck.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Stay Yahoo.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
Stay ...stay...stay.
The horses pound the earth. Gulliver is compared to Female Yahoo, particular attention is paid to Gulliver’s exposed skin, hands, hair and hat.
MASTER GREY
Its skin is smooth and white, but it is still the skin of a yahoo my Mare.
SORREL NAG
It has a blue and gold skin my Stallion. Is this the thing which is not?
MASTER GREY
No. It has the face and figure of a yahoo.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
It must be some kind of yahoo prodigy.
GULLIVER
Yahoo prodigy.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Is such intelligence possible from so brutish a creature? Maybe the parrot is trying to speak
Houyhnhnm.
GULLIVER
Houyhnhnm!
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN(indicating himself )
Yes Houyhnhnm. We are houyhnhnms.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
Houyhnhnms.
72.
GULLIVER
Houyhnhnm. My gift for languages was ever thus. (he thinks y ahoo could be a greeting)
Yahoo Houyhnhnm.
MASTER GREY(contemptuously pointing to Gulliv er)
Yahoo.
FEMALE YAHOO.As if greeting him
Yahoo.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS AND YOBO(pointing to Gulliv er)
Yahoo.
GULLIVER
Yahoo...
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
I am a yahoo.
He motions that Gulliver should repeat the phrase.
GULLIVER
I am a yahoo. I am a yahoo. If I am a yahoo I must study to be a Houyhnhnm...
All the horses agree.(to the audience)
We all are yahoos.
SORREL NAG
And we are all Houyhnhnms.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Brr. It is time to munch and mull in our meadows.
The remaining free horses graze their meadows and run happily around the stage for a few beats.
Tranquil, happy music or sound scape.
73.
SCENE 25: THE HOUYHNHNM DINNER
Gulliver enters dressed in a b izarre mixture of furs, yahoo skins and his Captain’s uniform. He trots around like a horse and tries to mimic the movements of the Houyhnhnm.
GULLIVER
Thirty seven moons have now passed and I have been named ‘Wonderful Yahoo’ and so I live in
the kennel closest to the house. The virtues of the excellent quadrupeds, and my own similarity to
my yahoo brother, have convinced me of my thousand faults, which would not even pass for human
weaknesses amongst you lot. This time I have not a word to offer in our species’ defence. Instead I
contemplate and practice every Houyhnhnm virtue; and eat only milk, oats and herbs as they do.
When my Master Grey has company, he allows me to wait at the dining stable.. I’m infinitely
delighted with my station of humble auditor, as nothing passes here but what is useful. My
Masters.
Gulliver bows. The ensemble create the scene of a Houyhnhnm dinner party centre stage. They sit around the mangers, Master Grey and Sorrel Nag sit as a couple. Gulliver moves to his dog’s position in the corner. The ensemble improvise a weighty discussion in Houyhnhnm. It is possib le that a yahoo attends them.
I never presume to speak, because I would lose much time for self-improvement
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Our subjects are generally on friendship, virtue and charity
SORREL NAG
the visible operations of Nature
MASTER GREY
the unerring rules of Reason
PROSECUTINGHOUYHNHNM
And most often upon what is excellent in poetry.
ENSEMBLE
Now we all praise Sorrel Nag
Fourteen times champion
Of our Solstice Festahag
74.
(MORE)
Strong, agile, sweaty and fleet
Sorrel Nag knows no defeat.
GULLIVER
I am proud to listen to the Houyhnhnm sing, and would like to one day dictate what is sung and
said here to the wisest assemblies in Europe. (Directly to the audience, whilst giv ing f ocus to the horses)
We - we venerate them. Your Honours?
The horses dismiss his worship and gallop away. Gulliver is left alone until Sorrell Nag calls him from behind a hill.
SCENE 26: NATURE TRAIL THROUGH YAHOO TERRITORY
The lighting denotes an open grassy space.
Sounds of the primal yahoo outdoors. All the yahoos howl.
Yobo yahoo is happily sucking on a juicy root and singing.
SORREL NAG
Wonderful Yahoo, today’s salutary lesson is on the effects of the juicy root. Yahoos love to dig for
this rare root, for it produces much the same symptoms as you report wine once did upon you....
GULLIVER
I never sucked such a root Your Honour.
SORREL NAG
Watch how it howls,grins, chatters, reels and tumbles.
Yobo suddenly want to hug Gulliver. The other yahoos copy Gulliver’s discomfort with glee. An explosion of yahoo energy. A yahoo pulls at Gulliver’s clothing and Sorrel Nag gives it a kick. Gulliver hides behind Sorrel Nag.
GULLIVER
Agh. Jabber jabber jabber.
SORREL NAG
Heigh heigh. To the mud with you. Heigh heigh heigh.
75.
ENSEMBLE (CONT'D)
GULLIVER
Jabber jabber jabber.
SORREL NAG
Your nature is as cowardly as theirs is!
GULLIVER
That one must be the ruling yahoo Your Honour - as he is the most cunning, malicious and
deformed.
SORREL NAG(condescendingly )
How logical you are.
GULLIVER
Your Honour, thank you for distinguishing me from the rest of my species. Oh the black is the
leader’s favourite. Oh yes oh yes he is ... oh he likes the taste of baked mud in the morning doesn’t
he?...
The favourite licks the leader’s buttocks and toes.
All the other yahoos must hate him, and that‘s why he stays so close to their leader. He’s afraid of
their excrement!
Female suddenly gazes on the two males.
SORREL NAG
Do you miss your she-yahoo?
GULLIVER
I never want to look upon Mrs Gulliver again... My she only has matted hair on her pudenda. Ugh
The female shows the male her bottom and farts sweetly.
The males follow her and she often looks back, with a counterfeit show of fear.
SORREL NAG
Inhale it...Isn’t it an education?...
GULLIVER
Ah she knew he would follow her.
76.
SORREL NAG
But you’re following her too.
The males growl at Gulliver.
GULLIVER
Your Honour I’m not.
SORREL NAG(turning Gulliv er so that he no longer f aces the y ahoos)
Then show me some decency.
Sorrel exits. Yobo gives the juicy root to the favourite and thus wins the female. The couple b ite each other and smell one another’s bottoms, then disappear. The favourite falls asleep in the mud. The female has left her baby behind.
GULLIVER
I’m going to try to get closer to her convienient hole. Shh. Shh. Where’s your Papa then? Shh.
The baby starts to scratch. Gulliver wishes to placate it. He offers it his shaving mirror.
Cudgey cu- aren’t you the pretty cub then? How developed is your cranial lobe? Sh be a good cub
shh. Hm Now I’m going to feel your tummy. Yes its abdominal structure is human ... but there is no
light of human intelligence in your eyes. Now this might tickle a bit...
The baby wakes and hollers. The favourite awakes.
Sod it! You odious vermin. Sh sh.
The baby vomits all over him and itself. Gulliver notices that the favourite is preparing to throw shit at him. His response is throw the screaming baby at him.
SCENE 27: GULLIVER WASHES IN THE RIVER.
Gulliver goes to the river and starts to undress. Two yahoos now operate the b lue sheet and the female hides in the rock.
GULLIVER
Neigh-heigh-heigh. Hhum Houyhnhm. It doesn’t seem that there are any houyhnhnm nearby -
Hhum Houyhnhm- if there were I’d have to keep my vomit soaked disguise on.
77.
He strips down to his fur loin cloth and dives into the water. The female is overcome with desire and stands some way off on the side of the bank. She tries to take off her skin too.
How I hate and detest my yahoo reflection ... Oh no! ... She’s harmless enough. Don’t play with my
clothes girl.
He keeps scrubbing himself and she mimics his movements. He cleans his waistcoat in the water.
I’m quite safe because you yahoos don’t like washing or water. Yes yahoo. Now I’m going to count
to ninety-nine.
He ducks under the water. After a few seconds, the female takes a running jump and embraces him in a ‘fulsome’ manner. He tries to fight her off and she tries to grab him. This carry on endures for some time, at one point Gulliver emerges with her on his shoulders. The sound and lights change to match when they are under or over the water.
Help! Stop! Talk amongst yourselves. Leave go of me! etc.
Sorrel Nag gallops over. She watches what is happening and can’t believe what he sees. She noses through the clothes Gulliver has left beside the river.
Stop watching us and do something Your Honour please!
SORREL NAG
Drop him. Drop him at once!
The female whimpers and relinquishes her hold. She leaps onto the far bank where she stands gazing and howling.
You can get out too.
The two yahoos who were puppetering the river leave to return as horses.
And what pray is that?
Gulliver has his hands over his groin.
GULLIVER
My John Thomas Your Honour.
SORREL NAG
And these?
Sorrel Nag indicates his clothes.
78.
GULLIVER
Your Honour I need them to keep warm and to cover my shame... I’m getting cold - I’ll need to put
my skin on.
Gulliver is shivering and starts to dress. Each time he puts on a new item of clothing the yahoo howls again. She loves to show Gulliver her bottom. The other two horses give focus from a distance.
SORREL NAG
You are doing the thing which is not. No animal can have two skins, two furs or two hides. Without
these Wonderful Yahoo you are just like her. The sight of your soft white organs has inflamed her
desire. Look how she howls for you, as for one of her own species. Indeed my reason tells me that
you were encouraging her.
GULLIVER
Your Honour, it was her that wanted me.
SORREL NAG
And you that wanted her. If she’d the gift of speech she’d tell me herself. Every animal needs its
mate.
Gulliver is shivering.
GULLIVER
Please forgive me for the poor sinner that I am Your Honour.
SORREL NAG
You smell of yahoo. You are an exact yahoo in every part. / I do not understand the thing which is
not. My reason requests an Extraordinary Assembly.
Sorrel Nag neighs on her hind legs. The other horses come galloping into a well defined semi-circle and stamp their hooves.
SCENE 28: THE HOUYHNHNM ASSEMBLY
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
/He said the thing which is not... He did the thing which is not...He made up the thing which is not.
He believes the thing which is not.
79.
This sound crescendos like a nightmare. The staging is expressionistic and subjective to Gulliver’s perspective. The chief ends the crescendo by pounding his hoof like a gavel.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Houyhnhm Brethern. We are gathered here to decide what is to be done with a yahoo with
glimmerings of reason.
PROSECUTINGHOUYHNHNM
Sorrel Nag how does he pretend to be the thing which he is not?
He bangs his hoof.
SORREL NAG
He wears a second skin, under which he is anatomically the same as any other yahoo.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
If Wonderful Yahoo was repentant, he would appear naked before us.
GULLIVER
But
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Silence yahoo.
PROSECUTINGHOUYHNHNM
Master Grey it is not conducive to Reason for a stallion to converse with a yahoo dog, or for his
mare to take pleasure from their yahoo picnics together.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
Hear hear. Brr. Brr.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Houyhnhnm brethern, this yahoo might seduce his brother yahoos up into our peaceful mountains,
and then destroy our Houyhnhnm cattle.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
True, true.
80.
CHIEFHOUYHNHMN
Therefore Wonderful Yahoo, this Assembly exhorts you to swim back to the place from whence you
came.
GULLIVER
I cannot disobey Reason. The thing that is, is that I am a yahoo. That I am guilty of.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
True.. True...
GULLIVER
I shall build my boat and go.
ALL HOUYHNHNMS
Guilty Yahoo - Yahoo Guilty- Guilty Yahoo! Yahoo guilty.
The lighting becomes nightmarish. The horses crowd about Gulliver. They rear and stamp with great animal energy. Gulliver swoons.
SCENE 29: DEPARTURE FROM HOUYNHNHM COUNTRY
A beach on a fine breezy morning.
Gulliver is swooned in front of Sorrel Nag and Master Grey. He has never felt so much grief or despair before.
GULLIVER
Your Honours, there could be no greater happiness than to die at your hooves.
MASTER GREY
Heigh- the tide has reached the appointed place.
Gulliver rises to pull his boat of yahoo skins on stage.
GULLIVER(hopef ully )
Maybe my boat will sink?
SORREL NAG
Yahoo skin is strong, and yahoo tallow watertight.
Gulliver prostrates himself before the horses.
81.
GULLIVER
Your Honours I love you and your family, more than I could ever love my own.
Gulliver kisses Master Grey’s hoof but remains locked therein. A pause.
MASTER GREY
Is he dead?
Master Grey raises Gulliver’s chin with his hoof. Gulliver k isses it fervently.
GULLIVER
Oh that so illustrious a person should pay such a mark of distinction to so inferior creature as I.
Gulliver stands and gets into his boat and sets sail.
Music. Lonely sea b lue lighting.
The Houyhnhnm watch him till he is out of sight.
SORREL NAG
Take care of thyself gentle yahoo.
GULLIVER
Hny illa nyha maiah Houyhnhnm... She always loved me.
ENSEMBLE(f rom af ar)
Hny illa nyha maiah Houyhnhnm.
SCENE 3O: THE PORTUGESE SAILORS RESCUE GULLIVER
Gulliver is all alone at sea.
Light and sound scape to denote the passing of time.
DON PEDRO
The story you have told me is a dream or a vision.
GULLIVER
Captain is it the custom in Portugal to say the thing which is not?
82.
DON PEDRO
Captain the Inquisition would burn you and your story in the plaza.
GULLIVER
Yahoo catholics love a martyr.
DON PEDRO
Your wife doesn’t want a silver relic she wants a husband!
GULLIVER
Please, let me row away to some desolate island.
DON PEDRO(touching Gulliv er)
Captain Gulliver I see it as a point of honour to return you to your wife Mary and your children.
GULLIVER
It is a wonder to find such kindness in a yahoo.
SCENE 31: THE FINAL RETURN TO ENGLAND
The Gulliver family pull open his boat like a present and spin it around. Mary takes him in her arms and kisses him. Gulliver cries out
MARY GULLIVER
Lemuel we thought you were dead!
BETTY GULLIVER
Papa you’re home from the South Seas!
MARY GULLIVER
Look at Betty - she’s all grown up now and so handy with her needle. I’d like to introduce you to our
son - we called him Lemuel for you.
LEMUEL GULLIVER
Good Afternoon Papa. Are you surprised to meet me?
He tries to kiss Gulliver’s cheek, Gulliver shudders away.
83.
GULLIVER(to the audience)
By lying with a she-yahoo, I have become the parent of more.
MARY GULLIVER
Lemuel?
LEMUEL GULLIVER
Tell us about the South Sea Indians Papa.
GULLIVER(to the audience)
I am repulsed by my reflection in his face.
BETTY GULLIVER
Did you meet any giants or Lilliputians this time?
GULLIVER
You smell like odious animals to me.
MARY GULLIVER
They were just playing in the stables Lemuel. Would you believe that Queen Anne now keeps one
of your Lilliputian pigs as a pet? Don’t you want to greet us Lemuel?
GULLIVER
Neigh. Hhum Houyhnhnm.
Gulliver rears up like and emits an emergency neigh. Soundscape of thundering hooves.
SCENE 32: EPILOGUE IN THE STABLE
These horses are peaceful, passive and broken in and are played in the costume of the Gulliver children with horse’s masks.
GULLIVER
I wish I could digest raw oats too...I like talking to you Gentle Masters. Thank you for suffering me to
live in your stable with you.
Mary enters with a bowl of porridge. Gulliver won’t interact with her.
84.
MARY GULLIVER
Are you feeling better today dear Lemuel? ... I put home made jam in your porridge.
GULLIVER
Your Honours I have something to confess. I know that I will revert to my yahoo nature if I speak to
my family, but last Sunday was the fifth anniversary of my homecoming. I allowed Mary to sit at
stable with me. Yet I found the scent of a she-yahoo so offensive, that I stopped my nose with rue
and lavender - like so. Did I do wrong my Noble Masters?
What do you have to neigh Houyhnhnm? Hhum Houyhnhm ... yahoo... Houyhnhnm. Please neigh
something - neigh anything! My young stone-horses, Grildig needs your judgement, your guidance
and your instructions. Hhum Houyhnhnm hhum , come Houyhnhnm come, hhum Houyhnhnm
hhum!
Mary leads Gulliver out of the stable. The horses exchange a knowing look with one another and go back to their munching.
85.
Glossary
Dingnag - people in Brobdingnag
Hhum - come on in Houyhhnm
Hilf mir! Help in German
Mala - little in Brobdingnag
Menu de ajuda! help me in Portugese.
Mij helpen - help me in Dutch
Neigh - no in Houyhnhnm
Groogol - goodbye in Brobdingnag
Gru - come on in Brobdingnag
Gru - sho - go away in Brobdingnag
parum piscator - little fishes in Latin.
Sekool- help in Brobdingnag
Sleigh - stop in Houyhnhnm
86.
top related