family communication how we talk to each other monday, november 5, 2007

Family CommunicationHow We Talk to Each Other

Monday, November 5, 2007

Goals This Afternoon

Understand family and business meetingsLearn how to establish a Family Council Strengthen family communication skills

Starting Point

Who has a regular, structured Board meeting?A Family Council Meeting?What does your family need to talk about?

AMERICA“Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations”

MEXICO“Father-MerchantSon-PlayboyGrandson-Peasant”

ITALY“From the stables to the stars and back to the stables in three generations”

CHINA“Peasant shoes to peasant shoes in three generations”

CANADA

Opportunity to learn fromfamilies around the world

What’s the Problem?

The Three Circles

Ownership

BusinessFamily

Conflicting Purpose

FRICTION ANDCONFLICT

FAMILY

Emotion basedMission: to nurture familyEquality rulesPermanent relationships

BUSINESS

Task basedMission: profitabilityCompetency rulesTemporary

Resistant to change

relationships Exploit change

Governance

The processes, principles, structures and relationships that help organisations realise their vision and objectives.

Managing ComplexityThree separate governance structures within one family business system:

1. Family organisation2. Business organisation3. Shareholder organisation

PurposeOwnership

BusinessFamily

Build and continue enterprise

Professionalise family culture,

activities, values

Recognise and resolve shareholder

issues

Starting PointFamily Governance1. Address the issues and assumptions2. Create a family governance structure:

Family ConsitutionMission StatementFamily Council

3. Maintain regular communication:

Retreats4. Spend quality time together5. Monitor progress

Complex Relationships

Five people, 10 relationships

More Complexity

Nine people, 36 relationships

Complexity in the Family System

Successor asks father about retirement

plans

Father sees son as a threat

Father criticises son’s work performance

Son sees Father as out of touch

Son convinced that father

should retire

Son talks to other family

members

Communication Skills

“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are. We do not hear things as they are, we hear them as we are.”

The Talmud

Start the Discussion

UNSPOKEN

SPOKEN

DISCUSSIBLE

Use Active Listening Skills

AttendingInquiryRestatingAcknowledging

Speak from Your Perspective

Use “I” statementsState what you’ve observedDescribe the impact on youAsk for what you need

Build on Strengths

What works well now?What are common values?What are areas for improvement?

Guidelines for Family Meetings

Define responsibilitiesHow are members appointed/retire?How does the group agree?How does it relate to other entities?Length of officeHow decisions are recordedMust have a chairperson

Agree how to Agree

Types of Family Business

Owner Managed

SiblingPartnership

Golf

Tennis

Football

c. John Ward PhD

Cousin Syndicate

Setting up a Family Council

StructureObjectivesInclusiveness

Create Structure

Schedule regular meetingsFormal AgendaRotating ChairBring in outside expertise

Set Objectives

Become a learning familyPromote family discussionDefine family values, mission, visionBuild trust and understandingDevelop decision-making processKeep family members informed

Be Inclusive

Consider extended familyEncourage participationTrack attendanceEnsure equal playing field

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

Peter Drucker

How to Reach UsJennifer EastFounderONIDA Coaching + Consulting Inc.396 Brunswick Avenue, Unit 2Toronto, Ontario, CanadaM5R 2Z4

T: 416 922 8973F: 416 922 9629E: jennifer@onida.caW: www.onida.ca