essay packet comments
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“Why My Parents Should Buy Me a Table t”
ESSAY PACKET COMMENTS
Subject-Verb Agreement
Abbreviated SVAINCORRECT: You can monitor the sites I
visits.CORRECT: You can monitor the sites I visit.
Pronoun- Antecedent Agreement
Abbreviated PAAINCORRECT: The tablet is a great tool that I
can use. They will help me tremendously.CORRECT: The tablet is a great tool that I
can use. It will help me tremendously.
TRANSITIONS: However
Use when two ideas oppose each otherINCORRECT: I can access the school’s
website with a tablet. However, Fun Brain is an educational game I can play with a tablet.
CORRECT: I went to bed early. However, I am still tired.
Ways to Punctuate: I went to bed early. However, I am still tired. I went to bed early; however, I am still tired.
TRANSITIONS: In addition (to)
Don’t begin first body paragraph with itWays to punctuate:
In addition, a tablet can be used for school purposes. In addition to entertainment, a tablet can be used for
school purposes. (In addition to…what?)Don’t use “also” in a sentence that already
has “in addition” or “additionally” in it. In addition to entertainment, a tablet can also be used
for school purposes.
TRANSITIONS: Besides
Be sure to follow it with something….Besides what???
INCORRECT as a topic sentence: Besides, tablets are convenient.
CORRECT as a topic sentence: Besides being entertaining and educational, tablets are convenient.
TRANSITIONS: On the other hand
Only use when you are telling a contrasting/opposing position
Example: Many people like to visit the beach for the ocean and sunshine. On the other hand, many tourists enjoy the beach for the shopping and other man-made attractions.
TRANSITIONS: In fact
Do not begin a paragraphs with “In fact,…”You must have stated something you plan to back
up with a fact first.Whatever you say must back up what you
just said.INCORRECT: Tablets can be used to access
educational videos. In fact, tablets are great for typing papers.
CORRECT: Tablets can be used to access educational videos. In fact, You-tube contains videos to help you with math concepts.
TRANSITIONS: In fact
How to punctuate “in fact” The United States is quite a big country. In fact, it
contains fifty states. The United States is quite a big country; in fact, it
contains fifty states.
TRANSITIONS: For example
Do not begin paragraphs with “For example,…”You must have stated something you plan to
back up with an exampleWhatever you say must be an example of
what you just saidINCORRECT: Tablets are faster than computers.
For example, they are portable and lightweight.CORRECT: Tablets are faster than computers.
For example, most tablets boot up within a matter of seconds.
TRANSITIONS: Too
Use too when you mean also She wants to go, too. (comma before) She, too, wants to go. (comma on both sides)
Use too when you are showing the extent of something. She is too late to participate. (no comma)
TRANSITIONS: Another key point
Only use in topic sentences.Supporting details are not key points, so
don’t use this transition within a paragraph.INCORRECT: Another key point, tablets are
great tools for entertainment.INCORRECT: Another key point, is tablets
are great tools for entertainment.CORRECT: Another key point is tablets are
great tools for entertainment.
Pay Attention to AUDIENCE
You were writing a letter to your parents.When you use the pronoun “you,” you are
referring to them.Example: You can use a tablet for typing
papers for school. (What???? Your parents can use it for that purpose?)
Be careful about using second person. It is usually best to use third person. NO: You should have to make good grades to play sports. YES: Students should have to make good grades to play
sports.
GRAMMAR: Run-ons
Joining two independent clauses with no punctuation or conjunction
Example: Incorrect:
Tablets are great investments they can help you out a lot. Correct:
Tablets are great investments because they can help you out a lot.
Tablets are great investments. They can help you out a lot.
Tablets are great investments; they can help you out a lot.
GRAMMAR: Comma Splices
Joining two independent clauses with only a comma
Example: Incorrect:
Tablets are great investments, they can help you out a lot. Correct:
Tablets are great investments because they can help you out a lot.
Tablets are great investments. They can help you out a lot. Tablets are great investments; they can help you out a lot.
GRAMMAR: Parallelism
When you have items in a series, those items should all match, meaning they are parallel.
INCORRECT: A tablet has a bigger screen, a GPS, time restrictions, you can save money on a data plan, free-texting, and a tablet is fast.
CORRECT: A tablet has a bigger screen, GPS, time restrictions, no data plan, free-texting, and a faster system.
GRAMMAR: Indentions
Every time you start a new paragraph, you should begin writing on the next line and indent that line.
Example:A man is running swiftly to escape the evil beasts that are trying to eat him. He runs, jumps, slides, and ducks to dodge obstacles. During his escape, he glides on ropes and collects coins…One reason that you should buy me a tablet is that it is convenient. For example, it is lightweight, portable, cellular, and faster than a computer…
IDEAS: INTRODUCTION
HOOK must come first! Needs to be short (no more than probably three to
four sentences) Should NOT overshadow the rest of your paper Must relate to the topic!
Might need a link sentence to connect your hook to the thesis
THESIS ends the intro! Tells your stance on the topic Don’t begin with “I think” or “I believe”
IDEAS: TOPIC SENTENCES
Must be about the paragraph!Everything in the paragraph must relate back
to the topic sentence.Make sure it’s general.Begin with a transition or else make sure the
words naturally flow.
IDEAS: CONCLUSION
Don’t restate your ideas word-for-wordState ideas in a new and different wayRemember your three major strategies:
Call to action Offer a solution to a problem Make a prediction (long-term effects)
LINK BACK to the hook from the intro.
STYLE: VAGUE DICTION
Don’t use the words “good,” “things,” or “stuff” in your writing.
These are called “dead words.”Go to next slide for better options.
STYLE: Better Options
Try using these words instead of “good.” Valid Beneficial Practical Valuable Advantageous Effective Functional Profitable Exceptional Favorable Positive Satisfying Superior Exemplary Desirable Ideal
BIGGEST TIP: RE-READ!!!!!
When we write, we make silly mistakes. Equally important, I can access to the school websites
is useful and to see what work I missed. I would really enjoy using for communication and
entertainment because it is so easy to use.RE-READ (PROOFREAD) so you can fix
careless mistakes.
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