alameda iof 2015 building community through empathy.pptx

ALAMEDA IOF 2015 BUILDING COMMUNITY THROUGH EMPATHY

"A human being is part of the whole called by us ‘universe' - a part limited in time and space. Our task must be to free ourselves

from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Albert Einstein

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dalai Lama

“I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives. I’

m not talking about the short-term gratification of pleasures like sex, drugs or gambling (though I’m not knocking them), but

something that will bring true and lasting happiness. The kind that sticks.” Dalai Lama

Ken Klieman

kenklieman@yahoo.com650-533-9806

Building Community – Quote ExchangeUG #1 How does developing an inclusive mindset in teachers and students foster community building?UG #3 How does building rapport affect student achievement?

ImportanceCreating accepting learning

communities

Learning ModalityInterpersonalIntrapersonalLinguisticMathematical/LogicalVisual/Spatial

UsesIdeally use with new classes or after

long breaksPreview or review of a unitFoster new learning pairs

ConsiderationsModel positive social interactions

and participate in the lessonHelp special needs students access

concepts behind the quotes

Objectives for Positive Student ManagementUG #1 How does developing an inclusive mindset in teachers and students foster community building?UG #2 What is the connection between mirror neurons and rapport?UG #3 How does building rapport affect student achievement?

By the end of the session all teachers will:

• Re-examine the causal factors for disruptive student behavior.

• Explore traditional ways of promoting empathy for and with students.

• Practice building rapport.

• Develop and practice strategies to help all students thrive.

Re-examine the causal factors for disruptive student behaviorUG #1 How does developing an inclusive mindset in teachers and students foster community building?UG #3 How does building rapport affect student achievement?

• Doesn’t care about lesson – feels incompetent before they try – directly related to a litany of bad experiences doing the same task

• Trying to process through other problems

• Hormones – the student truly doesn’t know why they are acting out

• Most importantly – DOESN’T CONNECT WITH YOU. You need to build in rapport.

Possible Messages from Home

Possible Messages from School

Powerlessness that Kids Often Feel

We have many traditional options for disruptive students

Option 1. Isolate the student by moving him away from other children.

• Although he is more distracted being next to his close friends in your class, he is so popular that it seems as if everyone is his friend. This would be a losing battle. You know that it would only be a matter of minutes before he pulled some other student off-task. This is a good start, but how does it address the core problem that he doesn’t care about you or your classroom? The fundamental reality is that you don’t have a connection with Alex. Isolating him will not improve his perspective on that reality.

Option 2. Assign extra homework when the student acts out in class.

• Do you really want to assign more work to a student who is obviously behind? Yes, there is a slim possibility he might comply, but then what? Most likely, he will become resentful and even more vengeful. You can’t force someone to like being in your room. And he doesn’t see the value in being with you.

Option 3. Give the student extra detentions until he is compliant.

• Alex should be held accountable for wasting your time. But how well do detentions work anyway? In the short term—fantastic. As a die-hard policy—not so much. Alex may change. Will you serve the detentions with him? Do you have the time for that? Will you end up being a “bean counter” chalking up each of his infractions to document the need for a detention? What outlandish behavior will qualify as detention-worthy? How much more time will he steal from your other students while you fill in the paperwork to process and document his detentions?

Option 4. Send the student to the main office every time he acts out.

• If you take this route, the power will reside with an administrator and not with you. You know he will be sent back to your class eventually. Instead, how do you make him want to be in your room?

Option 5. Single the student out in front of the class.

• This is a very viable option. Alex cares deeply about his image. However, if you confront him in front of her peers, you are putting your fledgling reputation up against his well-developed social standing. This may work out for the class period, but a long-term fix is questionable at best. How would you fare in a test of wills with him? Is this really the role model you want to be? “I’m bigger than you and I’m an adult, therefore you have to do what I say.” How will embarrassing him make him want to be in your room more?

Please Discuss what is Your Student Behavior Management PlanUG #2 What teaching strategies help develop an inclusive mindset in teacher and students?UG #3 What is the role of art in facilitating clarity of content and compassion of spirit?

Don’t Forget:Kids Reflect the Behavior of the World Around Them

Mirror Neurons and Human DevelopmentUG #2 What is the connection between mirror neurons and rapport?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/itunes-u/grades-9-12-teachers-domain/id433441026?mt=10

The Keys to Building RapportUG #1 How does developing an inclusive mindset in teachers and students foster community building?UG #2 What is the connection between mirror neurons and rapport?UG #3 How does building rapport affect student achievement?

• Listen and look for shared experiences or circumstances

• Use Humor. Laughing together creates harmony.

•

• Body Language. Mirror their body-language if appropriate.

• Empathize. Remember rapport is all about finding similarities and ‘being on the same wavelength’.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/rapport.html#ixzz39oUbePpQ

Signs of Active Listening Non-Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening

• Smile. Combined with nods of the head, smiles can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood.

• Eye Contact. Eye contact can however be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers.

• Posture. The attentive listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting.

• Mirroring. Matching another person’s body language helps to build rapport.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com

Practice – with a focus on Non-Verbal Rapport

• Please pick a talker – you know who you are.

• Please discuss the most memorable slide you have seen so far.

• Try to be mindful of body language

• Focus on Rapport – matching your partner’s body language

• Mess around – please have fun with this

• Switch half-way through

Signs of Active Listening Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening

• Positive Reinforcement. Casual and frequent use of words and phrases, such as: ‘very good’, ‘yes’ or ‘indeed’ can become irritating to the speaker. It is usually better to elaborate and explain why you are agreeing with a certain point.

• Remembering. Remembering a few key points, or even the name of the speaker, reinforces relationship building.

• Questioning. Ask relevant questions and/or making statements that build or help to clarify what the speaker has said.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com

Signs of Active Listening: Types of Questioning

• Reflection. Repeating or paraphrasing.

•

• Clarification. Open-ended questions are key here.

• Summarization. Reiterating the main points of the received message in a logical and clear way, giving the speaker chance to correct if necessary.

http://www.skillsyouneed.com

Practice – with a focus on Verbal Rapport

• Please pick a talker – you know who you are

• Please focus on providing non-interruptive positive reinforcement and questioning

• Please discuss one of your goals for this coming school year.

• Focus on rapport – matching your partner’s body language

• Mess around – please have fun with this

• Switch half-way through

"In every deliberation, we must consider the impact on the seventh generation... even if it requires having skin as thick as the bark of a pine." The Constitution of the Iroquois Nations: The Great Binding Law

Summary – Developed Collectively

Resources

• Klieman, Ken, Building an Empathy-Based Classroom

• Skills You Need: http://www.skillsyouneed.com

• Coping Skills for Kids: http://www.copingskills4kids.net/Changes.html#Brain_and_Behavior

QUESTIONS?