a family ministry initiative

A Family Ministry Initiative U.A.E - Vicariate Of Southern Arabia.

1

Q. What is the WAVE Program ? A. Wave is a campaign to develop violence free families

by uprooting the seeds of

violence.

WAVE We Abhor Violence Everywhere

2

Q. What does WAVE aim to achieve ?

3

A.  This campaign hopes to: •  Identify the root causes of violence

•  Increase Awareness about every form of violence

•  Build a culture of love, respect and appreciation

between all men, women and children, communities and religions.

��

As we glance through the news in the media, we can notice an increase in the incidents of violence

among nations, in society – the shocking increase in violence against women has hit us all. �

More alarmingly, we are witnessing a great increase in the magnitude of dysfunction and

violence within the family itself, the very basic unit of society. �

�IF WE WANT A STABLE SOCIETY �

WE MUST BUILD STABLE FAMILIES ��

Pope John Paul II – “the future of humanity passes by way of the family” �

“The  Family  is  the  building  block  of  society.  The  Family  is  an  in8mate  communion  of  

love  and  life"      (Familiaris  Consor8o,17)    

������

DOMESTIC CHURCH

Violence Is Violence is Not

7

ü  Intentional use of Force or Power threatened or actual -

ü Against self, another or a group

ü Results in psychological harm, death, injury, deprivation or mal-development

×  Occasional expression or display of anger & frustration

×  Consensual physical combat

×  An argument or conflict

×  Restraining another to prevent harm

Dimensions of Violence

8

  PHYSICAL – This is the most evident form- pushing, pinching, suffocating, strangling, kidnapping etc.

  PSYCHOLOGICAL – Making the victim think he/she is crazy, humiliation, controlling the movements, who he/she talks to; blaming victim for abusive behaviour, accusing of infidelity to justify abusive behaviour, , denying the abuse, refusing to talk ...

  THREATS – intimidation / instilling fear for kidnap or sole custody/ threatening suicide/injury; false allegations to the police / press

  SEXUAL – Raping/forcing sexual practices/ forcing abortion/ birth control/ extramarital or sexual affairs / sexually assaulting children

ECONOMIC: Preventing employment or education, with holding money, prohibiting access to family income; lying about financial assets; making the victim beg; forcing victim to handover income; not contributing to bills / child support etc ...

ENTITLEMENT: treating the victim like a slave/ making all decisions for the victim and the children/ defining gender roles ...

CYBER: Cyber bullying / taunting / character assasination / humiliation etc.

VIOLENCE CUTS ACROSS EVERY

SEGMENT OF SOCIETY

AND OCCURS IN ALL

AGE, RACIAL, ETHNIC, SOCIO-ECONOMIC,

SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND RELIGIOUS

GROUPS

Case 1:

Roma, Myra and Susan are jealous of their classmate Abha and decide to mock her all over Facebook,

Abha finally closes her account. Would you say that Roma, Myra & Susan’s behavior is

violent?

Share Your Thoughts … Is This Violence ?

13

Share Your Thoughts… Is This Violence ?

Case 2:

David and Rochelle, together in college, are in a

physical relationship.

Rochelle breaks the shocking news that she is pregnant but believes that they should have the baby and get

married. David is aghast!

He convinces her to have an abortion so that no one will know and they will not be embarrassed.

Would you say that David’s behavior is violent?

Share Your Thoughts… Is This Violence ?

Case 3:

Jimmy is a small-built child, very shy and a bit slow to do things.

In his family he is called “mouse ” because he nibbles his food and always seems to prefer hiding

away in a corner of the room. His sister is head-girl at school and is embarrassed to

acknowledge that he is her brother.

Would you say that the family’s behavior is violent?

Q.  What is WAVE hoping to achieve with you ?

A. Seeking to Eliminate VIOLENCE in Families !

WAVE

The first exposure to Violence begins @ Home

Children are often silent witnesses What do they see?

ü Parental Relationship ü Parental Role - Sharing vs

Demarcation ü Problem Solving ü Relationship with other family

members ü Treatment of hired help

17

Children and Violence

They start to experiment out with siblings, friends &

peers, the same behavior

as part of their daily

observing & learning experiences. 18

Yes !! Children can

hear & see You.

Children and Violence

  Violent domestic interactions are passed on from generation to

generation and begin to be

seen as normal

behaviour19

Violence hurts You…

Effects of Violence in one’s life: Ø Difficulty in controlling anger Ø Mental health issues Ø Suicidal thoughts Ø Abusive relationship towards others Ø Addiction issues Ø Learning disabilities Ø Criminal behavior tendencies

20

Q.  How can YOU make a change in your life?

A. By changing the way you THINK & FEEL !

WAVE

How  do  i  React?  

What  are  the  alterna2ves?  

22

BE the CHANGE

1. How do I react to

a situation?

2. What are the

alternatives?

Thoughts for Reflection

× Giving back in the same measure for instant gratification ?

× Paying back with interest – doubling the damage

× Walking away now – postponing your revenge

× Taking it out on your own family

23

Thought 1 : How Do I React ?

What do you think of ?

Can I choose the Non Violent Alternative?

- Assess the magnitude of the situation feel empowered to resolve the problem - Seek legal recourse where required - Seek medical recourse where required - Separate the person from the action

24

Thought 2 : What are my alternatives?

Have you ever thought of forgiveness???

Being Non-Violent

• Being secure in myself

• Being strong and empowered

• Being in control

• Being a leader of CHANGE

• Being a role-model

• Taking the road less travelled 25

means

• Healthyreaction&entertainment • Listen and talk • Reality vs fantasy • Expressing emotions • Appreciate • Reinforce values • Live with respect for oneself &

others

26

How Do We Help Each Other to Build Non-Violence? COMMUNICATION

My Faith and Non-Violence

Do we choose to see what our

CHRISTIAN faith says about this ?

or Do we choose to build and propagate

our own interpretations? 27

What does our faith tell us? ������������

This is the Golden Rule of Conduct – mutual tolerance which gives us a key to a non-

violent existence.

The Fruits of Non-Violence

ü A Peaceful Mind ü Health of Mind , Body and

Spirit..

ü Role model for one’s society

ü A New Attitude & Culture – A NON-VIOLENT CULTURE

29

Teaching our children non-violent behaviour

builds a culture of non-violence for the next generation

PARENTS ��

Let us help our children see themselves as skilled problem solvers ... �

�Empower them with the ability to transform

conflicts into peaceful and gratifying situations. �

�Teach them what to say and do when

conflicts arise. ��

CHILDREN NEED TO BE CONVINCED THAT POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS POSSIBLE

My Commitment to Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.!

32

My Commitment to Peace !

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.!

33

�Be part of our campaign and create a �

���

to turn the tide and make our world a safer place, starting first and

foremost with our domestic churches ... �

Our own families. �

Sr. Magdalen: lonergan.magdalen@gmail.com

OR

Fr. Arul Edward Joseph: jaruledward@gmail.com

35