adonai magazine (husbands open up)

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© 2010 MarriageToday. All rights reserved for more information visit www.marriagetoday.com

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Jimmy Evans

Ihave counseled many couples where the hus-band refused to open up and talk to his wife.Over the years, I've encountered a number of

reasons why this kind of situation arises in a mar-riage.Some men have unhealed wounds in their past.Rese hurts cause them to be emotionallyguarded and withdrawn.At other times, a wife with a sharp tongue keeps ahusband from being vulnerable. He's afraid she'll

use what he says as a weapon against him.

And some men are just naturally quiet. It's part of

Husbands, Open UpTrue strength is displayedin the courage to open up.There's no bravery in hiding thoughts or feelings in fear.

Henry AyensuFranklin Kwaku Kyei

Pas. Abraham ObadareDr. Myles E. Munroe

Joyce MeyerDr. Ralph F. Wilson

Jimmy EvansDr. William D. Watley

Dr. Kelafo Collie M.D. Elsie Osae-Kwapong

Rev. Nick Anane-AgyeiCre8ive House

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DisclaimerAdonai is published once a month by Cre8iveHouse Inc. No part of this publication is to be reproducedwithout the written permission of the publisher. The Magazinecan not be held liable for any error in any advertisement andany liability is limited to the total cost of the advertisement inerror. The publisher however reserves the right to refuse anyadvertisement deemed offensive or inappropriate.

The name Adonai is translated Lord in the Bible. Adonmeans, “steward administrator, master, or Lord.” The ad-dition of ai to adon intensifies or elevates its meaning,changing it to mean “the ultimate Lord, the Supreme Lord,or Lord of all.” The vision of Adonai Magazine goes be-yond denominational, traditional, ethnic and cultural bar-riers that are sometimes imposed and have interfered withthe Lord’s vision for an international kingdom building.

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their personality. When you combine this kind of man with awife who really needs his conversation, that marriage is goingto have its challenges.Regardless of the reason, one of the worst forms of abuse for awoman is silence from her husband. I've had wives in my officebeg and plead for their husbands to talk…while the men justsat quietly, stone-faced, refusing to open up.

I'll be direct: Husbands, you have to open up and talk honestlywith your wife-regardless of what past hurt, present hesitation,or personality quirk is holding you back.

She needs this interaction and so do you.If she has harmed you in some way, forgive her. If she is lessthan careful with her words, tell her about it. Confront her ifshe struggles to speak kindly, but do not withdraw from her.For the sake of your own marriage and your own personalhealth, you need to Und a way to work past what keeps youfrom communicating honestly with your wife.

Men who internalize their problems and don't talk about themhave a greater incidence of heart problems, alcoholism, andstress. A lack of honesty and openness about feelings and prob-lems is the root of addictive behavior-addiction to alcohol,pornography, gambling, and a number of other serious issues.You call yourself the strong, silent type? You're wrong, becausetrue strength is displayed in the courage to open up. Rere'sno bravery in hiding thoughts or feelings in fear.

If you are the type of person who is naturally silent, then makeyourself open up and start communicating. Get in touch withyour own feelings and begin to express them openly.Ask the Holy Spirit to help you learn to communicate and togive you the courage to change. He will answer your requests,because He is interested in you and your marriage.

Proverbs 12:18 says, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, butthe tongue of the wise brings healing."Husbands and wives: don't be reckless with your words, butunderstand that healing begins when you can open up andcommunicate with your spouse.

Editor of the Adonai Magazine Send your letters and suggestions tothe editor at [email protected] or call: 347 449 5892


Re way and manner some of us go for our fallenbrethren’s jugular sometimes make the devil look likea Sunday school teacher. We thus end up doing moredamage to our own, than what their shortfalls do; mak-ing their recovery and restoration either delayed ornear-impossible. We are quick to quote 1Corinthians5, overlooking the fact that the issue came to a restora-tive conclusion in 2Corinthians 2:1-11. We wander allover the place crossing oceans and walking on thornsto save sinners in the byways and highways; only todump the saved children of God at the least sign of fail-ure, without any meaningful effort or measures to helprestore them into sound spiritual health, and fellow-ship. If God is going to count iniquity how many of us wouldstand (Psalm 130:3)? Ris is not a call to condone orexcuse any waywardness in the Church of God. It israther an aXempt to expose the ignorance, irresponsi-bility, heartlessness, and hypocrisy that has contributedto the fall and loss of many wounded brothers and sis-ters. Rey could have been restored in a short periodof time to their former states and levels of fruitfulness inthe Lord, if we had sacriUced a liXle bit of our holier-than-Jesus aXitudes. Discipline for the wayward, wemust not shrink from; but love, compassion, and re-covery measures, we must never also fail to offer; be-cause the parable of the lost sheep is as good andapplicable to the weak and fallen child of God in thechurch, as it is to the sinner in the street (Luke 15:4). Scripture makes it plain that it is those who persist insin (especially in false doctrines or heresy), and refuseto correct their ways that need to experience continu-ous sanctioning, aWer we have done all we could to helpthem overcome their weaknesses or waywardness(Titus 3:10; 2 Timothy 4:1-2). Even then, scripturesays the intent should be to facilitate eventual restora-tion (2Ressalonians 3:14-15). Scripture nowhere rec-

ommends prolonged sanctioning for those whodemonstrate genuine and fruitful repentance. Such anapproach gives an advantage to the devil to achieve hisdesire on the target; a development the church is ex-pected to know beXer than permit (2 Corinth 2:11). In scripture the demonstration of genuine repentancebefore God has always been the end of divine angerand rejection. Even the worst King of Israel, Manasseh,was shown mercy by God and restored to the thronewhen he repented of his evil ways (2Chronicles 33:1-20. All that some of us know, however, is casting out,and casting away our weaker and fallen brethren withsanctions; leaving no room for restoration upon theirrepentance. It is no wonder David said, “let me fall intothe hand of God for great are His mercies; but let menot fall into the hand of man (1Chronicles 21:13)”. Weare quick to judge and condemn, but unwilling, slow,and even deUcient, in providing the much needed for-giving and caring environment that facilitates restora-tion.When Jesus saw the crisis that was about to engulfPeter, He prayed for His recovery. He even went fur-ther to send Peter a special invitation on the resurrec-tion morning, so that the repentant brother, whosespirit was baXered, shamed, broken and humbled,would feel loved and welcome at the throne of mercyagain (Luke 22:31-32). If the armies of the world would not abandon their ownwhen they are wounded in baXle, then the Church ofGod ought to do beXer; because our savior is a Lordwho encourages the undeserving to come to the throneof grace, to receive mercy and grace in time of need.Rus, signaling to His followers that in judgment, weshould remember mercy. God delights in disciplinethat is coupled with love and grace, to effect restora-tion, for that is the story of Calvary; where Jesus lookedbeyond our faults and saw our needs.


Rejection In The House – Part 2

Franklin K. Kyei


When we think of treasure, we think of something

that is rare. Treasure also implies that something is

valuable. Treasure is usually something that is of such

value that it is worth looking for. Re Scripture states,

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that

this all-surpassing power is from God and not from

us” (2 Cor 4:7). God says that His treasure is within

the people around us. Re people around us might

not be rare, but what they have within them is. Rat is

why we should never make the people around us feel

common because there is something within them

that makes them uncommon.

Treasure is also used to describe some-

thing that is hidden from normal view. Ris implies

that when I meet you for the Urst time, I really do not

know your worth. I have heard stories from various

sources about people who mistakenly threw away

treasure because they did not know that item’s worth.

Unfortunately, we sometimes do that with humans.

We throw people away without knowing their true

value. You never know what is hidden in a person.

Rerefore, we always have to remember

the principles from 2 Corinthians 4:7. Re Urst being:

there is value hidden in something that does not look

too valuable. Scripture states, “…treasure in jars of

clay…” Clay is dirt. You may not look impressive, but

inside of you is God’s personal treasure. He put it

there. His responsibility, along with your cooperation,

is to see that the treasure comes out. Secondly, the

treasure that you have does not belong to you. It came

from God (2 Cor 4:7).

We do not know who the people around

us truly are. We do not fully know anyone. We really

do not know what treasure lies within a person.

Treasure has to be sought in order to be

found. Re treasure is inside you. Rerefore, in order

to appreciate the real you, I Urst have to realize that

there are things about you that I do not know. Sec-

ondly, I have to take the time to sit down and dig

deeply. You cannot Und the treasure in a person by

casual encounters. You have to build deeper relation-

ships.

Consider the treasure hidden in God. If

you would have met God before He created every-

thing, you would have encountered everything be-

cause everything that exists, Urst existed in God.

Rerefore, when you met God, you would have en-

countered everything and would not have known it.

How sad it would be to insult everything! Rat same

God has planted treasure in every human being. It

does not maXer what people look like. God has

planted something in every human being that is His,

and He wants us to expose what He has placed within

us.

“The Treasure Within”

Dr. Myles MunroeFor Books or Teachings by Dr. Myles Munroe on CD, audio or video tapes, callor visit us at: Bahamas Faith Ministries International. The Diplomat Center,Carmichael Road. P.O.Box N-9583, Nassau, Bahamas Tel: (242) 341 – 6444. Fax: (242) 361 2260



Usually during marriage counseling, one ofthe first set of questions I ask couples-to-beis the reason they are choosing each other

as opposed to other persons. I always want to findout the major reason, apart from being just a maleor female who is good looking and fits in, becauseone is of marriageable age. I ask this question inorder to help them focus on that reason as a centerbase of their union. This center base will always helpthem in the future when difficulties arise. It will assistthem to stay together in spite of all odds.So we can apply this to the scripture in Romans8:35, where Apostle Paul said nothing wouldseparate him from the love of Christ. I believe he wasthe right man to make such a statement. He wentthrough so many ordeals, but stayed true to Christ,his love. The question I have for you now is, “can wealso make this statement?Why was he able to make the statement? It isbecause he realized the love Christ has for him. Thatis why he said in Rom. 5:6-8 that it was Christ whofirst loves us. Realizing that God’s unconditionallove was available for him, he also made up his mindnot to allow any difficulty to drag him away fromthat love.David, in loneliness, said “My heart is smitten down,and withered like grass. I am even as a sparrow thatsitteth alone on the housetop” —Psalm 102:4, 6. In Psalm 78:18 he said, “My lovers and friends hastThou put away from me, and hid mine acquaintanceout of my sight.” Further in Psalm 142:4, 5 he said, “I looked on myright hand, and saw there was no man that wouldknow me. I had no place to flee unto, and no mancared for my soul. I cried unto Thee, O Lord, andsaid, Thou art my Hope. When my spirit was inheaviness, then Thou knewest my path.”All theses are indications of troubles that Christians

experience in life, but the state of our hearts willdetermine what we resolve in our hearts duringthose difficult periods. David made a determinationand concluded that, “Gracious is the Lord, andrighteous, yea, our God is merciful. I was in misery,and He helped me.” Psalm 116:5,

It is my prayer that you are strongly in love withJesus enough for you to be able to sing, “Nearer myLord to thee, nearer to thee …” even in your timesof trouble. I pray that God will give you strength tokeep loving Him, even when going through hardtimes.Job said he would keep trusting God even at the

point death – Job 13:15Jesus said, “thy will be done” – Mat 6:42Ask God to help you have a very strong love for Himso that troubles will not separate you from Him. Those who came before us were victorious over thetroubles of life. We shall also be victorious in Jesusname.Pressure separated Saul and he became rejected;Unfaithfulness separated Ananias and Saphira andthey were killed.Please be not separated from the love of God. Theperson who separates is the one who ends uploosing.May the Lord give you victory over all troubles thatcould move you from Him.

- Pastor Abraham Obadare, a minister of the gospel atChrist Apostolic Church of America, Inc. You arewelcome to worship with us at 108-02 Sutphin Blvd.,Jamaica, NY 11435. You may also keep with us on 24hours internet radio at www.eagernessofgod.org. Website- www.wosem.org – for videos, live streaming and pastmessages / articles.

What I say in times of Need

To contact Pastor Abraham Obadare, the pastor of CACWOSEM in Queens, N.Y.,please call 718-6588981 for prayers and other needs. He has just released the2nd edition of his book titled “Chosen But Naughty.” To obtain your copy, pleasevisit www.eagernessofgod.org/store. You may also listen to him on this websitefor 24/7 gospel radio messages.

Pas. Abraham Obadare



We give thanks to God for what He is doing withour publication, Adonai Magazine. We also givethanks to God for you, our readers, for your enthu-siastic patronage of the publication this far. Eventhough we knew the Lord was capable and willingto do what He put into our Spirits concerning thepublication, we did not expect it to become such awonderful sought-aWer Christian Magazine, with adistribution network that encompasses more than10 states, with more than 30,000 copies everymonth.

Part of what the Lord put in our hearts at the begin-ning of the ministry was a television network thatwould promote the work of God in its various di-mensions. We did not realize the possibilities untillately, when the Lord provided the means for us toinitiate the project. We have, by God’s grace, takenoff smoothly under the name, ADONAI TV. Wehave so far had several informative pastoral inter-views, which can be accessed by our readers aWer weofficially launch our newly designed website, whichis still under construction.

We would never have been able to come this farwithout the patronage and participation of our read-ers. Rat is why we are coming to you with this hum-ble appeal for help and donations, to build and equipour studio; which is already on the drawing board.We are appealing to you for Unancial help, becauseas you can all aXest to, our publication is given awayfree of charge. We make no proUts out of it. We, evenon several occasions, have had to make up the pay-ments with our personal funds, because the adver-tising fees collected are not enough to cover thepress, mailing, and distribution charges.

We would, therefore, appreciate it if you would part-ner with us through your Unancial donations tomake Adonai TV a reality. You can make donationsonline at Paypal: ([email protected]).You can make your check or money order dona-tions payable to ADONAI and mail it toADONAI MEDIA MINISTRY3870 WHITE PLAINS ROAD.2ND FLOORBRONX, NY 10467Waiting to hear from you.


Ilove what Paul prays in Ephesians 1:17 (AMP): “[ForI always pray to] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, theFather of glory, that He may grant you a spirit of wis-

dom and revelation [of insight into mysteries and secrets]in the [deep and intimate] knowledge of Him.” Having a revelation of God and His work in your life is theonly way to understand Him. Rat’s why it’s so importantto pray for God to reveal Himself to people—it’s some-thing only He can do. We cannot reveal God to others. Wecan witness and talk of His love and good works, but peo-ple can’t understand spiritual things unless their spirit isalive. I go through interviews all the time. Some of them areChristian, some are not. And people always want to knowwhat the “phenomenon” is—why do people listen to mymessages and come to our conferences? I used to try sohard to make them understand it. I wanted them to see thatit’s really not me, or my books, or my preaching. InterviewaWer interview I tried to make them get it that it’s Godworking through me. AWer years of these discussions and trying to convince peo-ple, I Unally get it. I get that they don’t get it. Some peoplecan’t understand what I mean, no maXer how many waysI say it, and I understand why: Rey don’t understand be-cause they haven’t had a revelation of God.Now this applies to so much more than interviews, and it’shelped me understand a beXer way to witness to other peo-ple. Everything spiritual has a practical side, and I think that’sone of the biggest things we’ve missed. We try to tell peo-ple cloud-Voating spiritual things, but then we don’t bringit down to a practical level where they can do somethingwith it in their everyday lives. God has shown me through the years that we need toknow who God is and experience His love for us. He wantsus to know that no maXer what we do or say, He will al-ways love us. But to understand this part of God, we haveto have a revelation, not just information or head knowl-edge. Actually, head knowledge alone is usually what getsin the way of our faith and trust in God. And if informationnever turns into revelation, it won’t do you any good.

Revelation goes beyond the mental, feeling or seeing realmand knows that God is. It’s so important to know God through revelation and notjust head knowledge or with your feelings, because whatwe think and feel change easily and this can deceive us.When this happens, if we don’t feel warm and joyful, wethink God has leW us. When we encounter a trial or tribu-lation, we wonder if God loves us. If God delays an answerto our prayer, we wonder where He is and why He’s notworking. John 14:17 (AMP) says, “Re Spirit of Truth, Whom theworld cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), becauseit does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But youknow and recognize Him, for He lives with you [con-stantly] and will be in you.”It’s impossible to know God except by revelation becauseHe’s a Spirit and your mind cannot know Him. You canknow about God with your mind, but what you knowabout Him spiritually is not something you can explain.You just know. God has given all of us a measure of revelation, but noteveryone understands it. Rat’s what makes sharing theGospel difficult sometimes, but don’t ever get mad atsomeone because they don’t get it. To people who havenever had a revelation of who God is, you might as well bespeaking a foreign language. In the meantime, try to meetthem where they are without compromising who you arein Christ.We need to be careful not to pressure people when we wit-ness to them – or pressure ourselves to do it. It’s so impor-tant to be led by the Holy Spirit when we share the Gospelwith people because He knows just what we need to sayand what they are ready to hear. When God gives you anopportunity to share about Jesus, do it with a sweet, patientspirit, but the minute any tension rises, take a step back andget out of the situation.Instead, pray for those people to have “a spirit of wisdomand revelation” because when God shows them the truth,it will be clear to them what they need. Ren they will U-nally get it, and I love to watch what happens when theydo.


Joyce Meyer

Knowing God: Why Some PeopleGet It and Some Don’t

For more on this topic, order Joyce’s four-CD series Knowing God. You can also contact us toreceive our free magazine, Enjoying Everyday Life, by calling (800) 727-9673 or visitingwww.joycemeyer.org. Ladies, join Joyce at her Love Life Women’s Conference September 15-17, 2011 in St. Louis,MO. For more information, go to www.joycemeyer.org/lovelife11.


Skip Heitzig is the founder and senior pastor at Calvary of Albuquerque in NewMexico. His teachings are heard across the country and around the world onThe Connection. For more information on Skip, visithttp://www.connectionra-dio.org.


SKIP HEITZIG

Whenever people reject the authentic,they're open to anything and every-thing. Today's spirituality is generic. I

call it a "salad bar" spirituality. Re aXitude is, "I'llhave a small order of Christianity--I like that "judgenot" part and the Golden Rule, but cut out all therest--add a liXle Hinduism and some Buddhism,maybe some New-Age spices..." If you have that kindof mentality, a lot of people will arise to serve it up.But does everyone who claims to speak for God ac-tually speak for God? No! In MaXhew 7:15, we'rewarned to beware of false prophets. When you de-cide to go through the narrow gate, you'll Und somehanging out by the gate who want to widen it. Reydon't agree that there's only one way to get to theKingdom, through that narrow gate. Who are they?Rey're fake sheep. Rey look like sheep, but in-wardly, Jesus said, they're wolves.

Even under the umbrella of Christianity, the lines oftruth are geXing fuzzier. Some years ago, the WorldCouncil of Churches sponsored a symposium of 25theologians who came up with a document that in-cluded this statement: "We Und ourselves recogniz-ing a need to move beyond a theology whichconUnes salvation to the explicit personal commit-ment to Jesus Christ." Rat is helping pave the wayfor the compromise of truth.

You don't have to look for the wolves; they'll come

to you. And they'll be beautifully disguised. Rey'llseem sincere and good, and they'll seem to love. Butdon't be swayed by someone's charm or education,or even by signs. LiW up the Veece and see the wolfunderneath.Here are some good tests for Unding the wolves:Reir character: When the Holy Spirit comes into aperson He starts changing that person, and it will beevident. Look for the fruit of the Spirit, found inGalatians 5: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, etc. Resewill be lacking in those who are false.Reir creed: Rat means what they say about God.Re creed of false prophets is that there is no narrowgate, that there are many ways to God. Rey'll denythe essentials of the historic Christian church, andthey'll aXack the person and work of Christ. Youshould follow the example of the Bereans in Acts17:11. Re Bereans didn't accept even Paul's word,but they "searched the scriptures daily to Und outwhether these things were so." Doctrine maXers!Reir converts: Watch the effect of the teaching thatis being disseminated in the lives of those who arereceiving it. It's not always readily apparent, but itwill eventually erode their spiritual walk.So stay in the Word, listen with discernment, don'tbe fooled by sheep costumes, and stay away fromthat spiritual salad bar!

Scripture Of 2e Day: "If we live in the Spirit, letus also walk in the Spirit." - Galatians 5:25 (NKJV)

Salad Bar Spirituality


Know how to lead a class success-fully "study to show yourself approved.Your attitude determines your atmosphere. Childrenwill pick up on the attitude of the teacher. If the teacheris irritated or frustrated the children will follow that at-titude and you will observe those attitudes beginning tosurface in the children as well. I suggest that anyonewho works with or teaches children periodically reviewtheir attitude.

Keep in mind that there will alwaysbe that one or two who will be a chal-lenge to work with, and those are theones that need your understandingand patience the most. If you seem to be having a challenge keeping controlof the whole group then you may want to look at whatyou are teaching and how you are presenting it. Most ofthe time if there is consistent bad behavior from thegroup as a whole it is because they are bored. Whenany subject is taught at its best, young children will becurious, interested, and motivated to learn. The scrip-ture verifies this philosophy in Proverbs 15:2 (from theLiving Bible). It reads, “A wise teacher makes learninga joy.” A wise teacher will always strive to do the fol-lowing:

Listen and ObserveDid anyone ever tell you that God gave us two ears andone mouth because He wanted us to listen twice asmuch as we talk? I think there is much truth to that.When you take the time to stop, watch, and listen tothe children you will learn how they perceive theirworld. You will discover what is important and inter-esting to them, and you will show them that you are in-terested in them. Through listening you can learn a lot

about the children you teach. You will hear the wordsthey use and what they like and don’t like. You will beable to find out what they understand or do not un-derstand. It is more important to listen past the wordsto what they are feeling inside.

Find ways to relate to themYou will discover that spending time talking to or play-ing with them is enjoyable, and it provides a relaxed en-vironment for them to openly communicate with you.It will provide an opportunity to build relationships.Spending time with and interacting with the childrenduring “Free Time” before and after service will helpyou to develop a relationship of trust between themand you.

Show RespectShow that you respect them by saying please and thankyou when you communicate with them. Do your bestto speak in a calm, patient tone even when you need tobe firm in your communication. Teach good mannersby setting the example. Focus on them and listen tothem when they are sharing something with you. Makewhat is important to them… important to you.

Remember that actions speak louderthan words. Statistics prove that 55% of what wecommunicate comes from the way we look/act. (Bodylanguage, gestures, and facial expressions) The moreyou can communicate on the same level as the childthe more effective you will be in keeping their atten-tion. For example, when you first greet the smaller chil-dren as they arrive, kneel down to give a hug and sayhello on an eye to eye level, this will leave a much big-ger impact on them than simply yelling “Hi, welcome”from across the room, (as you hurry around to get yourlesson ready).

Email Auntie Elsie at [email protected]: 347 449 5892


Elsie Osae-Kwapong

Tips for Sunday School Teachers

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