adam's children

8/13/2019 Adam's Children

1/77

ADAMS CHILDRENby Audur Ava lafsdttir

A dance lay! in t"# actsThe dance and movement/corporal expression in this piece is created by the

choreographer as an integral part of the structure and content of the play. Dance is used

to shed a different light on the characters than the dialogue and to reveal part of their

true nature. The frequency and placing of the dance scenes can be worked out in greater

detail with the choreographer in collaboration with the director.

CHARAC$ERS(the roles are defined from the mothers perspectiveTHE MOTHER, ELIZABETH (Lizzie) is in her seventies (and gets younger as the p ay

progresses)

EL!E"T !A#$HTER, MARTHA (%& years o d)

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER, MA$!ALE (% years o d)

"O , MI*HAEL (%% years o d)"O +I +LA , MARTI , the e dest daughter-s hus.and (% years o d)

%R&L&'(E (The characters introduce themselves in the microphone on the edge of the stage. !f

there is a curtain in front of the stage" the introduction can take place in front of that.

#ach character introduces himself/herself in turn and is characterised by his/her own

personal and distinctive movements/dance steps. The other characters are blacked out

during the introductions" as the spotlight is alternately switched on and off.


2/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I 0ee I o0ten have to thin1 0or others2 it-s as i0 so3e peop e 4ust

don-t get 5hat-s .est 0or the3666 As i0 they 7an-t 8uite see the3se ves in re ation to

others2 (dan7e)

"O +I +LA / Responsi. e, 5hi7h doesn-t 3ean that I don-t 1no5 ho5 to have a good

ti3e6 'eah, responsi. e and2 I 7an666 7an666 yeah666 (dance

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I-ve .een going over 3y things 0or the past t5o days to try

and 0igure out 5here I stand2 and I don-t 0ee I-3 getting any 7 oser2 There-s nothing

I 7an do a.out it, even i0 other peop e turn out to .e di00erent to 5hat I e9pe7ted (dance .

"O / My 0ather-s son2 Ada3-s son2 My 3other-s son6 My sister-s .rother2 'es,and 3y other sister-s .rother6 My .rother+in+ a5-s .rother+in a56 My nie7e-s un7 e2

(dan7e)

MOTHER/ ou d anyone i1e a 7o00ee:

"O +I +LA (voice off $no, than1s6

MOTHER/ ou d anyone i1e so3e 7o00ee:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER $(voice off o than1s, 3o36

MOTHER/ ou d anyone i1e a 7o00ee:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (voice off" louder o than1s, MOM .

MOTHER/ I- put the 1ett e on then6 (dance

(blackout


3/77

AC$ )

The mother is packing a beautiful dress into a suitcase and then hides the case under the

middle of the dining table so that it is no longer the central focal point. The hemline of

the colourful dress protrudes from the case. %he then fetches a box full of bills in

envelopes and places it under the table beside the suitcase. &er 'old persons props

(such as her dressing gown and tatty old slippers are at odds with the colourful foulard

around her neck. )oise from outside.

(blackout

(* torch shines on the stage

"O +I +LA / He o, anyone ho3e2:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Mo3, it-s 3e and Martin2

The lights come on. +our characters are standing on the stage$ the ,-T " %-) !)

0*1 (,artin " the #0D#%T D*23&T# (,artha " his wife" and the 4-2)3#%T

D*23&T# (,agdalen .

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I- .e there right a5ay2 e 5ere .are y dressed2 5o5 2

Martin and I 5ere2 e 5ere sti in .ed2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 5as starting to 3i9 so3e dough and dropped everything as

soon as I got the 3essage2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ as there a po5er 7ut:


4/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ hat happened:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ e 4ust dashed out2

MOTHER/ atura y you a thought I 5as dead: (chuffed Hu3:2 !id you get a

sho71: (laughs

"O / (%teps forward" wearing a colourful tie with a butterfly pattern !a, da, da, da;

"O +I +LA / 'ou: Here;

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat-s Mi7hae doing here666 no5:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, a3 I drea3ing: o5, I 3ean it, 5hy is he here:

Aren-t you supposed to .e a.road:

"O / I don-t 1no5 5here I-3 "#


5/77

"O / Brun7h2

MOTHER/ (with emphasis 'es, Brruuun7h6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And is this 5hat you 7a an e3ergen7y 3eeting:

MOTHER/ There-s a spe7ia reason 0or it2 I need to ta 1 to you2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 3ean2 5o526 'ou e9pe7t 7ertain thing in i0e and then

so3ething 7o3p ete y di00erent happens2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ This is 4ust i1e 5hat happened to He ena2 she got a .o9 o0

7ho7o ates 0ro3 her hus.and and2 .ingo666 a spider in the .o92

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ asn-t it a 7ar 1ey: I thought he-d re3oved a 7ho7o ate and

rep a7ed it 5ith a 7ar 1ey:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es, 3ay.e it 5as a 7ar 1ey, .ut it 7ou d 4ust as easi y have .een

a spider6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ E9tre3e y sy3.o i7 0or an a77ountant6

"O / And is it 1no5n 5hi7h 7ho7o ate he ate2:

"O +I +LA / ho-s He ena:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ A 0riend you don-t 1no56

MOTHER/ Aren-t you going to greet ea7h other and 7at7h up on the ne5s:


6/77

(The in laws greet each other in the background with prolonged handshakes" slaps on the

back" hands on shoulders" and stretched out arms" but the sisters greet their brother

rather coolly5

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, 5e haven-t 3et sin7e2:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, not sin7e666

MOTHER/ ot a o0 us together sin7e =u ia-s 7on0ir3ation666 hat 5as the priest-s

na3e again: Reverend E sa: "he-s a .ishop no56

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Mi1e 5asn-t there, o0 7ourse666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, he 5as so3e5here e se666

MOTHER/ Mi7hae had other 0ish to 0ry6

"O / 'eah, un0ortunate y I 7ou dn-t666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to her sister $ 'ou-re oo1ing 0a.u ous6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Than1s, so are you6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (ad6usting herself / o, I 3ean it, you-re oo1ing rea y

0a.u ous6 Martin, don-t you thin1 Magda en oo1s 0a.u ous:

"O +I +LA / 'eah6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Than1s6


7/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, I 3ean it you oo1 rea y 0a.u ous6

(The sisters huddle together cheek to cheek" look into the auditorium and take a snapshot

of themselves with their phones. The son in law pulls a camera out of his breast pocket

and takes a picture of the sisters. The brother wavers in the background" in and out of

frame" but the sisters exclude him from the picture

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (sniffing the air" to her elder sister $ Hang on, 5hat per0u3e

are you 5earing:

(%niffing her wrists" the back of her hands and neck

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Are you saying that I-3 5earing too 3u7h per0u3e: I on ysprin1 ed on a itt e as I 5as eaving the house666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, not at a 666 Hang on666 I-3 4ust trying to put 3y 0inger

on it666 Is that the per0u3e I gave to 3o3:

MOTHER/ I don-t i1e it6 It re3inds 3e o0 your 0ather6 I gave it to Martha6

"O +I +LA (sniffing $I 7an-t s3e anything2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Men have no sense o0 s3e 6

"O / (reacting to the scent That-s not a 5ays true2

Os7ar de a Renta:

MOTHER/ Mi7hae is so sensitive2

"O / I 5ou dn-t go that 0ar2

MOTHER/ (ad6usting a foulard around her throat He .rought 3e this ove y 0ou ard6


8/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ A 5o3an-s 5orst sense o0 s3e is sti t5o ti3es .etter than a

3an-s .est sense o0 s3e 2

MOTHER/ As1 the geneti7s e9pert;

"O / That-s not e9a7t y 3y area o0 e9pertise2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (paying her brother no heed =ust to 3a1e it per0e7t y 7 ear/

a 5o3an 5ith the 5orst sense o0 s3e 5i sti have a sense o0 s3e that is ten ti3es

.etter than a 3an 5ith the .est sense o0 s3e 2

"O / I 7an .e ieve that2

MOTHER/ The neuro ogi7a e9pert; He 1no5s everything;

"O +I +LA /


9/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat 1ind o0 app e pie: (to her brother !id you 7o3e a one:

"O / I 5as thin1ing o0 using the opportunity to2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (Doesnt wait for an answer" turns to her sister

!o you put a 3onds in yours:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I put in a 3onds and 7ho7o ate and granny s3iths6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her brother i you .e staying 0or ong: hen are you

eaving:

(Turns straight to her sister" doesnt listen to the answer.I use red app es6

"O / I 0 e5 in yesterday6 Mo3 7a ed666 I-3 eaving in a 5ee16 On7e I-ve sorted out

5hat needs to .e done6

MOTHER (referring to her son $ He-s ost 5eight6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hen did you say you 5ere eaving:

(turning straight back to her sister again

"O / As I 5as saying, in a2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ !o you put in 3arzipan:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah, I put in 3arzipan6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ That-s in7redi. e6 There are hundreds o0 di00erent types o0

app e pies and 5e .oth use 3arzipan6 Hang on, do you use 3o3-s re7ipe:


10/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, do you use 3o3-s re7ipe as 5e :

MOTHER/ Aren-t there hundreds o0 re7ipes 0or .a7a ao: And "pea1ing o0 .a7a ao and

*ata onia, I have an idea that I 5ou d i1e to2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to mother !id you ta1e those pi s I 7a3e over 5ith ast

ti3e: !id you 0orget to:

(The sisters turn to each other again

"O / I2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (to ,artha $ 2'ou say it6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, you 5ere going to say so3ething2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, you say it2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, you say it6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, you666

(pause

(*ddressing the audience" the son in law and eldest daughter complete each others

sentences


11/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Martin and I 5ere2

"O +I +LA / 2driving up the road2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 5hen 5e sa52

"O +I +LA / 2this . a71 4eep2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 2driving to5ards us2 and stopping6 And 5ho shou d step out

o0 the 7ar .ut2

"O +I +LA / "7ar ett =ohansson

MOTHER/ "7ar ett 5ho:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "7ar ett6

"O +I +LA / =ohansson, the A3eri7an a7tress6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Is i0e a 7oin7iden7e: I as16 There you are, driving do5n

*arys0ort avenue and at that pre7ise point in your ives so3ething i1e that happens2 an

in7redi. e 7oin7iden7e i1e "7ar ett =ohansson 5ho2 as you 5ere saying is an A3eri7an

a7tress2 very 0a3ous2

"O / Mat7h


12/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I said to Martin/ hang on, are they 3a1ing a 3ovie: Hang on,

are 5e a7ting in a 3ovie 5ithout 1no5ing a.out it:

"O / The 7oup e 5ith an app e pie in the .a71 seat6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Is there a 7rane 5ith a 7a3era on it a.ove us: Hidden

3i7rophones in our seats: Then ne9t thing you 1no5 you sudden y get an invitation to

*annes6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Li1e yesterday, 0or e9a3p e, three 3en gave 3e their phone

nu3.ers and they a started 5ith ?& 6 hat-s that supposed to 3ean:

"O / That 7oin7iden7es have a tenden7y to 7 ing together, Magda en6

MOTHER/ It-s as i0 every se7ond person in this 7ountry o5ned a . a71 7ar6 In @ran7e it-s

on y 3inisters and .an1 dire7tors 5ho drive . a71 7ars, in A3eri7a 7ri3ina s drive . a71

i3ousines2

"O / That-s 5hat I say too, 5here are the 7o ours: (dances

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to mother $ Have you turned into one o0 those 7ar spotters no5:

Haven-t you ta1en your pi s:

"O +I +LA / (to his brother in law "in7e Mi7hae is in the 7ountry, shou dn-t 5e 0i

hi3 on the E iza.eth situation: Martha and I have the deeds o0 the house2 (he takes out

some stapled papers

MOTHER/ hat did you say, is so3eone p anning on .ui ding so3ething:

(,artha stops her husband


13/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to husband $ Ta1e it easy, Martin6

"O / It see3s that everyone has so3e .urning agenda in this 0a3i y2

"O +I +LA / (to wife But I thought 5e had agreed to2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ E9a7t y6 Had 6


14/77

classic 0eonardo like 'last supper tableau for a brief moment. The son in law stretches

his legs and rests them on the suitcase under the table a moment. The suitcase can be

moved around the set without anyone really noticing it (it can be placed up against a

wall" moved around until the end of the play.

e-ve .e7o3e the third 0astest nation in the 5or d2

!o you ta1e 7od iver oi , Martin: 'ou-re so pa e6 (,artin is dressed in a business suit/

grey/black and white in *ct ! . 'ou-re a dressed in grey6 It-s as i0 you 5ere on your

5ay to a 3eeting at the .an1 or a 0unera 6 Ada3 a 5ays too1 his tie o00 5hen he got

ho3e 0ro3 5or16

"O / ( monologue to the audience through a microphone. The other characters hear themonologue but pretend they cant hear $

!ad a 5ays too1 his tie o00 5hen he got ho3e 0ro3 5or16 Then he hung his suit up on a

5ooden hanger and 7are0u y 5at7hed the 7reases on his trousers6 Then he too1 o00 his

shirt and s ipped into so3e 7o30orta. e 7 othes he i1ed to 5ear around the house666 rea y

7o30orta. e6 A0ter dad 7a3e 0ro3 5or1 during the day, you didn-t invite your s7hoo

0riends around 3u7h2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ e 5ere .are y dressed2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (dryly $ 'ou-ve a ready 3entioned that you and Martin

5eren-t up yet6

"O / Basi7 hu3an needs haven-t 7hanged in the re7ession6


15/77

5e need to hear your do7tora thesis on this:


16/77

My .ody, that .e0ore, 5as supp e,

age a ready has ta1en .y surprise,

3y raven tresses are turned 5hite,

3y spirit has gro5n heavy

and 3y 1nees too 5ea1 to 7arry 3e,

that on7e 5ere 8ui71 to dan7e as 0auns6666 C

That 5as "appho6

(pause

"he 5as a es.ian6

"O +I +LA / (in the microphone Than1 you 0or that re7ita , E iza.eth, and that

in0or3ation a.out the poet-s se9ua orientations6

(The eldest daughter has recovered now and rummages through her bag. %he takes out

some bottles of pills" which she pushes towards her mother. The youngest daughter also

rummages through her bag and pulls out some bottles of pills she pushes towards her

mother

"O / e I .e darned, you-ve got a 5ho e phar3a7y in there6

MOTHER/ hat-s this vita3in:

hat a3 I supposed to do 5ith666:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (interrupting $ Oropra3 CD 3i igra3s, e9otan % 3i igra3s,

to a9 3i igra3s, ne9iu3666

C The poetry o0 "appho > trans ation and notes .y =i3


17/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "o.ri , i3ovane666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ !id you .ring i3ovane 6 3i igra3s: I 7a3e 5ith so3e

sti no7t CD 3i igra3s6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ E.i9a666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ E9ista:: Hang on, are 5e ta 1ing a.out donopezi here:

MOTHER/ 'et another 5ar 0or pea7e, e97ept that no5 it-s the phar3a7euti7a

7o3panies, so that they 7an dra5 up their .ar 7harts and ta. es 0or ea7h age group in theirearnings 0ore7asts6 ho-s got interests to prote7t:

(The sisters pill dance. 1hile the music rises for the sisters pill dance" the mother

continues talking" without her voice being heard. The text that is not heard (in italics

should be seen as a continuation of her monologue about wars and the cripples of this

world. The mothers text that is not in italics" on the other hand" is heard. The son and

son in law continue to sit at the table. The son in law eats and the sisters swallow pills

MOTHER/ (her voice is drowned by the music Did ! mention that pharmaceutical

companies have started to estimate the number of people who will be mutilated and

crippled in advance" so that they can draw up their bar charts and tables for each age

group in their earnings forecasts9 1hos got interests to protect9 -ver one hundred

children lose a leg because of land mines every week" had ! mentioned that9

*dam didnt want to dance. ! dont understand people who dont like dancing" even when

they have two legs of equal length" like most people in our part of the world.

(text is heard 5 There are t5enty+0our zeros .ehind the 3i ions o0 do ars that the 5ar

industry spends every year in the 5or d6

"o as1 yourse ves/ 5ho stands .ehind the 3anage3ent o0 5ars in the 5or d: Ho5 do


18/77

3isunderstandings that ead to 5ar o77ur 9 (to ,artin 'es, go.. e it a up6 ()o one

listens The earth is 7arpeted in and 3ines2 a hundred 7hi dren ose a eg every 5ee12

here-s 3y itt e =u ia: Is she protesting: Ho5 3any stray 7hi dren do you thin1 there

are on the streets o0 the 5or d:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (raising her voice e 4ust to d you, 3o3, she-s at her dad-s

p a7e 2Aren-t you ta1ing your 3edi7ation:

MOTHER/ La5yers: Isn-t she .ored: I don-t see 5hy anyone 5ou d 5ant to study a5

5hen there are so 3any other 0un things to study2 It-s a so2 tedious2 earning a

that stu00 o00 .y heart and then do nothing .ut hass e peop e 0or 3oney2 peop e a 5ays

5ant to .e as shre5d as 0o9es6666

"O / Li1e your 0or3er son+in+ a56

MOTHER/ I 7ou dn-t stand ani3a s, it 5as terri. e gro5ing up in the 7ountryside,

5a1ing up to the sound o0 . eating every 3orning, red eyes greeting you in the dar1, hind

eg .irths, I 5as the one they got to turn the s i3y a3.s .e7ause I had s3a hands2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Than1 god you .uy it va7uu3+pa71ed6 There are so 3any things

to .e than10u 0or in i0e6

"O +I +LA / @ar3ers have started to se dire7t under the ta. e no56

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And to dodge ta9es6

"O +I +LA / Martha and I 5ent 0or a "unday drive ast 5ee1end and .ought ha 0 a

.u on the 5ay ho3e6 e stopped2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 2at three 0ar3s and as1ed 0or their .est o00ers6


19/77

"O +I +LA / The 0irst said CDD thousand 0or a ha 0 so 5e to d hi3 to sti71 it up his

ho e, the ne9t guy said D thousand so 5e o00ered his neigh.our D thousand, ta1e it or

eave it6 B a716

MOTHER/ There are 3ore peop e than the priest 5ho o5n a . a71 dog6

(pause

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Huh: hat do you 3ean:

MOTHER/ It-s an e9pression they used to use in 3y ho3eto5n6

"O / e , e9pressions i1e that ought to .e preserved6 There are 3ore peop e than the

priest 5ho o5n a . a71 dog6 Martin, 5eren-t you and Martha thin1ing o0 getting a dog: A

. a71 pood e 3ay.e:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (suspicious. To her brother and mother

Hang on, are you and 3o3 p otting together:

"O / Tota y inno7ent6 I 4ust 3ade 5a00 es2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (suspicious $ And 7hose the 7o ours2:

"O / o, that 5as 3o3 a7tua y2

(,ichael stands up and dances. ,artin watches him" as he loosens his tie. &e undoes his

top button. ,onologue to the audience

!ad didn-t 5ant to dan7e, .ut 3o3 5anted to s5ay her .ody to the .eat2 (steps As I

a ready 3entioned, dad used to 7hange 7 othes 5hen he 7a3e ho3e 0ro3 5or1 and go

into the garage2 A0ter spending the 5ho e day surrounded .y peop e at the 7o3pany, he

0e t the need to .e a one666

(The mother stands up and walks over to her son. ,ichael teaches her some steps


20/77

hen dad 5ent into the garage, 3o3 taught 3e ho5 to dan7e, ho5 to ho d her hips and

3ove to the rhyth32 one t5o three, one t5o three, one t5o three (steps she taught 3e

ho5 to ead666 "ti I 5anted 3ore to .e 5ith dad in the garage than to dan7e6 =ust the t5o

o0 us 3a1ing so3ething2 one t5o three, one t5o three666

MOTHER/ (inter6ecting The on y son2

"O / @ather and son2

MOTHER/ The spitting i3age o0 his 0ather2

"O / 24ust the t5o o0 us 3a1ing so3ething together and I 5ou d get to do thes7re5ing2

MOTHER/ A though Mi7hae is ta er than Ada3 5as6

"O / As 0athers and sons are 5ont to do2 s7re5, dri , .eat, nai , stap e666

MOTHER/ Ada3 5as so good 5ith his hands, he 5as a 5ays 3a1ing so3ething out in

the garage6 @or days on end6 And then he-d resur0a7e 5ith a 7ut ery dra5er 0or 3e6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to sister Li1e 3o3-s hair6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I too1 her to have it dyed6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "in7e you 3ention it, I thin1 it 7ou d do 5ith 3ore .ody at

the top6666 I thought you 5ere ta1ing her to the eye do7tor:

MOTHER/ I 7an read the papers 5ithout g asses no5 that I-ve had 3y aser treat3ent6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, I too1 her to the dentist6


21/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, she didn-t have da3aged2:

"O +I +LA / (6oining in the conversation again Ho5 3u7h does the aser treat3ent

7ost:

MOTHER/ (inter6ecting in the conversation from the dance I 7an a 5ays ta1e a ta9i6

"O +I +LA / There-s no need to ta1e a ta9i6 'ou-ve got t5o daughters at your disposa

here, night and day2 5hen the 7a 7o3es6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I .rought her over so3e 0ood ast 5ee16

(,-T comes back after the dance

"O +I +LA / That 5as E iza.eth dan7ing there, et-s give her a 5ar3 7 ap6

MOTHER/ I-3 a 5ays te ing you I 7an 7oo1 0or 3yse 0 or .uy ta1e+a5ays2 There-s a

Thai p a7e 7 ose .y666 stir+0ry .ee0 in oyster sau7e and spring ro s666 tai+ning+po4 5ith

nuts2 you don-t need to trou. e yourse 0 .e7ause o0 3e, Martha dear6 'ou-ve got p enty

on your p ate as it is, Martin and a the hass es that entai s6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And .y hass es you 3ean:

(pause

"O +I +LA / Martha and I 5ere 4ust dis7ussing the in7rease in inheritan7e ta9 and

arrange3ents2 To, you 1no5, eh3666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to husband Ta1e it easy, this is 3y 0a3i y6 'ou-re not re ated

to us6


22/77

"O +I +LA / Martha dear, 5e agreed on this thirty+0ive 3inutes ago (glances at his

watch .

"O / (in a final dance movement Thirty+0ive 3inutes is FCDD se7onds in the i0e o0 a

0a3i y that is de ighted to 7o3e together, ho5 3any nano se7onds does that 3a1e:

Thirty+0ive 3inutes is the a3ount o0 ti3e that 7oup es in good re ationships spend 5ith

ea7h other every day6 hat 7an they ta 1 a.out: Let-s see6 *hi d ess 7oup es don-t have

to ta 1 a.out 7hi d+re ated pro. e3s6 I0 they have a dog they 7an ta 1 a.out that6 In 0a7t,

thirty+0ive 3inutes is the ength o0 ti3e dog o5ners spend tending to their dogs every

day6 "eventeen and a ha 0 3inutes in the 3orning and seventeen and a ha 0 3inutes in the

evening6 Thirty+0ive 3inutes is a very ong ti3e 5hen you-re eight years o d and need togo to the toi et, .ut dad has o71ed hi3se 0 in the .athroo3 and doesn-t ans5er 5hen you

1no71 on the door2 and 1no71 again 2and in the end you have to go over to the

neigh.our-s house to go to the toi et .e7ause dad-s in your .athroo3 a night2

(to sister and brother in law "o ho5 a.out putting 3e into the pi7ture a.out 3o3 then:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ The .a71ground is 3ore 7o3p e9 .ut666 (pause I0 you had .een

di00erent, so 3any things 5ou d have .een di00erent6

(pause

MOTHER/ Mi1e and I ordered a pizza yesterday2

"O +I +LA / This is 4ust so2

"O / Re a9, it 5as on 3e6

MOTHER/ It 5as a vegetarian pizza666 Ada3 didn-t i1e vegeta. es6 ot even peas6 The

on y vegeta. e he 5ou d eat 5ere potatoes6 $od, ho5 I 5as .ored 5ith that gou ash 5ith


23/77

potatoes and .ro5n sau7e 0or 0orty+0ive years666 He 5as su7h a 3a e, Ada3 5as, 5ith so

3u7h testosterone that a he 5anted 5as 3eat6 henever I used to 3a1e ste5, he-d 0ish

a the 7arrots out6 Ho5 3any potatoes did he eat in those 0orty+0ive years I 5onder:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Martin has a 7a 7u ator (the son in law pulls out his calculator .

Martin:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Ho5 3any potatoes did you .oi on average, 3o3:

MOTHER/ Eight or ten6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to husband $ Eight to ten ti3es si9, et-s 4ust say si9ty potatoes a5ee1666 T5o hundred and 0orty a 3onth666 (they pore over the calculations

"O +I +LA / That 3a1es CF&,?DD potatoes in 0orty+0ive years666

hat does a 1i o 7ost: (they pore over the calculations again

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Ho5 3any potatoes are there in a 1i o:

"O / !epends o0 the size666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Mi1e is right, depends on the size666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ !o you have a .ag o0 potatoes in the 1it7hen, 3o3: (%he

stands up

MOTHER/ I haven-t .oi ed a sing e potato sin7e Ada3 died6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to husband $ o, a 5o3an 3ight not 5ant to spend the 5ho e o0

her i0e .oi ing potatoes6


24/77

"O +I +LA / Let-s try to 1eep our 7oo here, Martha6

(pause

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah, et-s try to 1eep our 7oo 2

(pause

MOTHER/ They-ve dis7overed the 7entre o0 the is and is a7tua y in a ne5 and .etter

p a7e, it 5as on the ne5s2 T5o 3etres 0urther east6 I3agine, Ada3 died 5ithout

1no5ing 5here the 7entre on our is and 5as6

"O / I-3 not sure dad 5as a typi7a y 7entra 0igure6 He 5as 3ore o0 a periphera type6

"O +I +LA / It-s as i0 no one 1no5s ho5 to die at the right ti3e6 I get the 0ee ing that a

gro5ing nu3.er o0 peop e are dying too ate6

MOTHER/ He 5as so good 5ith his hands your 0ather 5as6 Li1e that ti3e he vanished

into the garage 0or a 5ho e 5ee1end and o71ed hi3se 0 in6 hen he 7a3e .a71 he-d

3ade a 7ut ery dra5er 0or 3e6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER $ (to mother Ta1e your pi s, 3o36

"O (to mother $ And 5hat 5ou d you 5ant to do i0 you 5ere young again: 'ou

5ou dn-t .e a potato 0ar3er I ta1e it, .ut 3ay.e a geo ogist that 7an 0ind 7entres2:

MOTHER/ I sti haven-t 0u y 3apped out 3y 0uture 7areer yet2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Ho5 3any vo 7ani7 eruptions does one e9perien7e in a i0eti3e:

(,artin pulls out his calculator again . And I don-t 3ean under g a7iers6

"O +I +LA / I0 5e assu3e the average i0espan is GF years2


25/77

"O / (to mother hat a.out singing:

(,artin sticks his calculator back into his pocket again

MOTHER/ That-s true, I 7ou d have .e7o3e a 0a3ous singer666 But I 5ou d have studied

inguisti7s6

"O +I +LA / "tudied 5hat:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Ta1e a pi 6

MOTHER/ Linguisti7s6 Oh god, ho5 I 5ou d have 5anted to have studied inguisti7s2

derivationa 3orpho ogy2 Oh s5eet Lord666 phono ogy, 7o3parative gra33ar,

so7io inguisti7s, se3anti7s, a those o. i8ue 7ases, preserving the dative in the passive

voi7e2 ho5 I 5ou d have .een in 3y e e3ent i0 I-d studied inguisti7s666 I 5ou d have

trave ed to inguisti7 sy3posiu3s a around the g o.e666 To *ata onia666

"O +I +LA / Is that e9a7t y 5hat the 5or d needs right no5:

MOTHER/ 'es, peop e need to 1no5 5here 5ords 7o3e 0ro36

"O +I +LA / And 5here do 5ords 7o3e 0ro3:

MOTHER/ #se your i3agination, Martin Bergth rsson6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "igurdarson, 3o36 Martin "igurdarson F6

"O / The average 5o3an utters DDD 5ords a day and 3en utter CFDD6

F ote 0or trans ators/ in this 7ase the 3other is 7on0using t5o I7e andi7 surna3es6 These surna3es 7an7hange 5hen trans ated into other anguages6


26/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ DDD 5ords are CF dense y 5ritten pages + A + 5ith a size

CF+point 0ont, Ti3es ne5 ro3an, and one and a ha 0 ine+spa7ing6

"O +I +LA / The average is 1ept do5n .y 5o3en 5ho are in a su 1666 5hi e others

7an ta 1 %D pages a day6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ There are a so 5o3en 5ho go to 7a0Js on their o5n, oo1 at

7oo1ery .oo1s and ponder on ho5 they 7an deve op the3se ves 5ithout uttering a sing e

5ord6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ It-s 4ust that every sing e 5ord has a ready .een used so 3any

ti3es6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I understand Martha so 5e 6 hat she-s saying is that

5ords 7an have a 3u7h deeper 3eaning than one rea izes 5hen uses the36 'ou 7an say

so3ething and then thin1/ 5o5;

"O +I +LA / He 5ho does not spea1 does not e9ist6

MOTHER/ It-s not as i0 everyone has so3ething to say, 4ust .e7ause they-re spea1ing6

"O +I +LA / And those 5ho re3ain si ent don-t ne7essari y have nothing to say either6

(pause

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "ti , I 3ust say I do 0ind it very pe7u iar that a person 5ho

7an 5rite ong do7tora theses that are pu. ished in high y reputa. e 3agazines2 sti has

so 3any pro. e3s 5hen it 7o3es to spea1ing6

(the sisters and brother in law stare at ,ichael

"O / I-3 not sure 5hether2


27/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "orry, Mi7hae , I 5asn-t 0inished and you interrupted 3e6

hat I 5as saying 5as that I 0ind it very un7o30orta. e i0 so3eone2 so3eone i1e your

o5n sister2 has to have a


28/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ =ust so3ething6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ =ust so3ething6 ot 4ust so3ething a.out 7ere.ra

he3ispheres, though, 3ay.e 5e-re not in the 3ood 0or 7ere.ra he3ispheres6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ May.e you-d i1e to te us 5hi7h gene deter3ines ho5 5e

7o33uni7ate 5ith our 0a3i ies: ith our sisters:

(the sisters laugh

"O +I +LA / ho 5ou dn-t 3ind spending seven years da.. ing in 5riting a reporta.out so3e ano3a ous gene:

"O / 'ou see3 to .e very 5e up on 3y a00airs6 It-s s ight y 3ore than that, I a so

e7ture at the university6

MOTHER/ A do7tora thesis and a


29/77

1no5 a.out2 ( oo1ing at his 5at7h) an hour ago2 =ust as a dire7t 0o o5+up to our

dis7ussion on666 5hether .irds sing 5ith a @ren7h a77ent in


30/77

"O / That 5as the .ird o0 the day2

"O +I +LA / I0 there-s one thing I 7an-t stand it-s a .ird that sings 0or everyone6 Li1e a

5hore6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "o3e things 4ust don-t turn out to .e 5hat one e9pe7ted6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Oh: Li1e 5hat:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Li1e those sounds the 7o33on snipe 3a1es6 He-s not

singing6 The sound is 7reated .y the 0 apping o0 his 5ings as he p unges do5n into the

heath6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Or 4ust i1e so3e peop e2 i1e you-ve 3ay.e .een 3arried 0or

G years and you as1 yourse 0/ do I 1no5 3y hus.and: hy does he 1eep a se7ret diary

and hide it 5here no one 7an 0ind it:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 5ou dn-t 1no5 5ho to .e ieve any3ore, 5ho to trust2

My greatest 0au t is that I understand other peop e so 5e 6 I0 so3eone ya5ns6 I ya5n too6

It-s 4ust that I 7an so easi y identi0y 5ith every point o0 vie56

MOTHER/ 'our 0ather a 5ays dran1 Ear $rey6

"O +I +LA / He dran1 other things too, didn-t he:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ !o 5e rea y have to .ring that up at the dining ta. e666 (turns

away

MOTHER/ 'es, it happened6 Then he-d vanish 0or three days and re+e3erge 0ro3 the

garage, a0ter 3ay.e 3a1ing a .ird 7age 0or 3e6


31/77

"O / May.e dad 5asn-t a 5ays2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 2 tota y so.er6

MOTHER/ Mi1e a 5ays says su7h s5eet things6 Every sing e 5ord6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ The one senten7e he says a day:

the truth 5i set you 0ree 2 Li0e is a 7a.aret 2he o:;

MOTHER/ Is so3ething .urning in the 1it7hen: (sniffing the air Are you sti .a1ing

so3ething:

(,ichael dashes out and returns with a black wafflee-ve 7overed the entire spe7tru3 no5, sha 5e o00er it to your .rother+in+ a5: Have a

5a00 e, Martin6

"O +I +LA / 'eah, no than1s6

MOTHER/ (to son in law 'ou-ve put on 5eight, Martin, you need to get yourse 0 into

shape6

(to ,artha Marty-s getting a pot.e y6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Martin, 3o3, not Marty6

MOTHER/ I thin1 his hair is starting to thin as 5e 6 Is he going .a d:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ He-s started 5or1ing out at the gy36

MOTHER/ 'ou-ve a 5ays .een a itt e .it vain, Marty dear6

(to ,artha

Is he having an a00air:


32/77


33/77

"O +I +LA / (moves to the front of the stage" dancing to the music from the mobile

phone I-3 4ust here 5ith 3y in+ a5s, no, no, 5e-re 4ust ni7e and 7osy here and having a

7hat6 E iza.eth 5as per0or3ing a poe36 And the si. ings have .een dan7ing6

(turns around and speaks confidentially into the mouthpiece

e-re going over things6 e 4ust need to get a hea th 7erti0i7ate signed6 'eah, 5e-re

a 3ost there6

"O / 'eah, 3o3 and I had a 7hat together this 3orning and she26

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Aren-t 5e having a 7hat together no5: Aren-t 5e as a 0a3i y

having a 7hat: hat e se are 5e doing: Ada3-s in7redi. y happy o00springs are ta 1ing

things over6

"O +I +LA / It 5ou d .e good to have this sett ed2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to her husband $ !on-t you po1e your nose into our .usiness2

"O +I +LA / O1ay, I 4ust thought2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I thin1 it-s 4ust a 8uestion o0 the priorities you set6 Are you

going to prioritise other pro. e3s or us: I-3 on y as1ing: The spot ight has .een on

Mi1e a ot and I thin1 it-s a.out ti3e 5e 5ere in the 0oreground in this 0a3i y 0or a

7hange2 Are you going to say it, Martin or a3 I:

"O +I +LA / (realising Huh, yeah2"hou dn-t you say it 9 (goes over to his wife

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I thought you-d put on so3e 5eight2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Martin and I are going to adopt2 @ro3 *ey on or India, 5e

don-t 1no5 yet6


34/77

"O +I +LA / *ey on, i1e the tea2

MOTHER/ 'our 0ather a 5ays dran1 Ear $rey6

"O / "hou dn-t 5e say 7ongratu ations2 on your de7ision: By a happy 7oin7iden7e,

I2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ It-s 4ust su7h a surprise666 o5, no, .e7ause I thought2 no6

(pause

I 7ou d easi y give you and Martin an ovary2 i0 that-s the pro. e36

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And that 5ay you and Martin 5ou d have a .a.y together2

(,artin and ,agdalen look awkward

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou-d .e the 3other, o0 7ourse6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And at 0a3i y do-s everyone 5ou d oo1 at 3y daughter and say

she-s 4ust i1e Magda en 5as 5hen she 5as her age2 the spitting i3age o0 her6

"O +I +LA / Or hi32 I 3ust say, though, I don-t thin1 your sister-s idea is a that 0ar

0et7hed6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ e 5ou dn-t a 5ays have to 3eet6 hen 3o32 (lowering

her voice is gone, (raising her voice again 5e 5on-t have to 3eet 0or 5a00 es any3ore6

"isters 5ou d need to .e rea y 7 ose to 3a1e 3ar3a ade together6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Have you and Magda en .een ta 1ing a.out this .ehind 7 osed

doors:

"O +I +LA / 'ou never 1no5 5hat you- get6666 one never 1no5s 5hat geneti7 0au t


35/77

7hi dren 7an inherit 0ro3 their grand0athers, so3e .eggar in "ri Lan1a2 you never

1no5 5hat I s they have2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ *ey on, not "ri Lan1a6 hy don-t you 4ust 3arry Magda en:

Isn-t that 5hat you-ve a 5ays drea3ed o0: 'ou-ve a 5ays 0ound her so e97iting2 so

unde7ided666

"O +I +LA / Martha dear2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Martha dear6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her sister $ I 4ust 5ant to as1 you to stop .rushing the 0 u00o00 Martin-s shou der a the ti3e6 'ou destroyed 3y 7hi dhood6

(:reaks down. ,artin and ,agdalen rush over to try and comfort her. )othing is said.

%potlight on the mother

MOTHER/ I 5as a 5ays a itt e .it un0aith0u to Ada36 Being 5ith a uring,

un0atho3a. e and 7o3p e9 3en 7an .e dangerous666 They give you ots o0 thri s, .ut

a so tension6 They in0use you 5ith energy, .ring out the 5o3an in you6 But a 5o3an

7an-t ive i1e that a her i0e6

Ada3 never 5anted to go a.road666 $oing into the garage 5as as 0ar as he ever needed to

go* I 5anted to dan7e, I 5anted to sing2 They used to say 5o5, 5hat a voi7e, Lizzie666That voi7e is you, Ro.ert said666 or 5as it Ri7hard:2

But instead I 5ent ho3e to .oi so3e potatoes666 stood in the 1it7hen in 3y dress and 5ith

3y hair a done up and .oi ed potatoes2 in a si 1 dress2 3e, the singing sparro5666

(lost in her thoughts" dancing

I had this thing 0or po5er 0igures 5ith 7haris3a (to her eldest daughter 'ou shou d have

.een 3ature enough to rea ize those 3en 5eren-t 0or you, Martha dear6 (to both her

daughters 6 'ou .oth 7hose 3edio7re 3en 5ith average I s666 Martin Bergth rsson6


36/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "igurdarson666

"O +I +LA / I 5as 4ust saying that the .a.y 7ou d need so3e spee7h therapy2

"O / The rain in "pain 0a s 3ain y in the p ain2

(stands up and dances gently with his mother as if in a nostalgic flashback

"O +I +LA / I-3 4ust saying that it 3ight .e easier 0or one sper3 to adapt to our ives

than2 a 7hi d666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou don-t 1no5 5hat you-re as1ing 0or6 Magda en is tone dea0,

you 7an e9pe7t to hear s7ree7hing sounds on the 7e o666 and she didn-t start ta 1ing unti

very ate6 "he 5ou d have .een diagnosed 5ith so3ething i0 it had .een invented .a71

then2 so3e retardedness or attention de0i7ien7y or so3ething2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ !iagnosed: Me:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "orry, Magda en, .ut I 7an-t he p 0ee ing you-re not very good at7onne7ting 5ith other peop e6 I thin1 you 3ight even .e s ight y autisti76

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 5as on y o00ering to he p6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And p a7e us eterna y in your de.t2 Thus gaining 7ontro over

3e6 o, than1s, you 7an .ring up your o5n pro. e3ati7 eggs6

MOTHER/ My itt e =u ia is at a de i7ate age6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (erupting ou d you 3ind not p astering your 5a s 5ith

photos o0 her: asn-t she driven ho3e .y the po i7e the other night a0ter an


37/77

unsupervised parent+0ree party: (stands up" tries to find the right dancing steps" but fails.

,agdalen gets her steps right. The sisters dance.

"O / O0 7ourse you and Martin 5ou d sti71 to your party hour ru es, 5ou dn-t you:

'ou-d never a o5 your ovary to go to a party that 5as unsupervised .y parents no5,

5ou d you, Martha: Hu3:


EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (shouting at her husband Re a9;2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to brother in law 'eah, re a96

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I-ve a 5ays .een in your shado52 'ou su71ed a the 0a3i y-s

attention666 And no5 you-re going to .e the 0a3i y-s saviour2 "aint Magda en6

(to husband

hy don-t you t5o 4ust step aside and have it done 5ith:2 this ovary donation6

(pause

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 7an 4ust 1eep your *ey on .a.y6 'ou-re not getting any

eggs 0ro3 3e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, sorry6 'ou-re ovary 4ust ain-t 3y 7up o0 tea6

(pause

"O +I +LA / There-s so 3u7h driving invo ved2 'ou a 5ays have to 7o e7t and

drive the3 so3e5here666 to hand.a pra7ti7e666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (re6oining the conversation . Hang on, have 5e given up on the


38/77

adoption idea then: They don-t a 5ays have to go to hand.a 6

"O / o, hand.a is pretty o5 on the ist o0 the 3ost popu ar sports6 In C? th position,

4ust under Indian rat ra7ing I thin16 (leading her sister through the steps.

"O +I +LA / I 5as 4ust saying that it-s so3ething that needs to .e eva uated and

7onsidered6 I-3 4ust not getting into this 0ather ro e6 It-s a happening so 0ast666 I 4ust 0ee

I need to thin1 things over, it-s 1ind o0 hit 3e out o0 the . ue666 May.e one needs to thin1

a.out 5hether one is going to have a 7hi d2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ e-ve .een trying to have a 7hi d 0or si9 years6

"O +I +LA / It-s 8uite possi. e that I 4ust 5asn-t a5are o0 that6 It 7ou d 5e .e that

you 5ere trying to 3a1e a 7hi d 0or si9 years, .ut I-3 4ust not sure that I 1ne5 5e 5ere

trying to have a 7hi d 0or si9 years6 I-3 4ust saying that there are perhaps 0ar too 3any

peop e in our so7iety that are trying to have too 3any 7hi dren6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ At east 0ive years6

"O +I +LA / May.e I-3 not tota y ready to 0ound a 0a3i y666 I 4ust 0ee there are other

things I need to do .e0ore that666 5o3en 3a1e so 3any de3ands on 3en666 they 5ant

the3 to .e sin7ere and inti3ate 0riends6 And 3ay.e so3eti3es one isn-t geared up to2

to2

"O / (to audience " eep 5ith the3: o, that-s understanda. e6 May.e 4ust on7e a

5ee16 On Tuesdays, 0or e9a3p e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ e-ve .een 3arried 0or years666

(pause


39/77


40/77


41/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (het up o5666 I-3 4ust trying to 0igure out 5here I stand here6

I-3 4ust as1ing 0or a itt e .it o0 ove and understanding and 0or 3y drea3s to 7o3e true666

It-s not as i0 I-3 as1ing 0or a .rand ne5 1it7hen unit every t5o years6

MOTHER/ 'ou never get the 7hi dren you a7tua y 5ant6 There-s nothing 5rong a.out

de7iding not to have 7hi dren6 *hi dren 7an .e .oring and a sour7e o0 great

disappoint3ent6 They-re petty, 4ea ous and prevent you 0ro3 rea izing your drea3s6 Most

peop e 5ant 7hi dren 5ith di00erent oo1s, te3pera3ents and ta ents than their o5n6 Then

they-re disappointed 5hen they turn out to .e as 0ee. e3inded as their spouses6 hat

3other 7an stand her 1ids: A 5o3an shou dn-t .e 7onde3ned 0or 5anting to earn

singing6 I don-t 1no5 ho5 I 5ou d have rea7ted i0 I had .een o00ered the option o0eaving you in a .as1et .y the door o0 a 7onvent6

"O +I +LA / hat are you ta 1ing a.out: A 7onvent666::

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Ta1e it easy6 'ou don-t have the .a71ground to .e a. e to

understand 3y 7hi dhood6

MOTHER/ I 7an-t say that your 0ather 5as a 5ays a 0un 3an, even though he 5as good

5ith his hands and our se9 i0e 5as o77asiona y reasona. y good6 I 5anted to dan7e, he

5anted to .e in the garage 5ith his s7re5driver6 A 5ays sorting out his s7re5drivers6 He

spent ha 0 his i0e putting things .a71 in their p a7e6 He 7ou dn-t ta1e his s7re5drivers

5ith hi3 5hen he e0t, though

"O / (to audience On7e he 0orgot to o71 the garage door .ehind hi36 I 5as going to get

3y .i1e and didn-t 1no5 that he 5as at ho3e and had gone into the garage6 hen I

opened the door2 dad 5as sitting on a 7hair2 in the 3idd e o0 the 0 oor2

MOTHER/ (to audience He 5as so ni3. e 5ith his hands 3y Ada3 5as2


42/77

(*ll are standing now. Dance. +irst ,artin and ,artha dance together" then ,artin and

,agdalen. The son follows them. The son in law watches his brother in law. *t the end

of the dance all the characters sit side by side on the chairs at the front of the stage and

turn around

"O / hat-s the ne5s apart 0ro3 that: (hesitant apart 0ro3 Martha and Martin-s ne5s I

3ean:

MOTHER/ That on y depends on 5hat you 7a ne5s6

"O / 'es666

MOTHER/ I didn-t 7a you a here 0or no reason2

But i0 you-re ta 1ing a.out ne5s in the .roader do3esti7 po iti7a 7onte9t, a po ar .ear

rea7hed the north o0 the 7ountry at the end o0 the 5inter, a s7ra5ny 7u.6 It too1 0ourteen

3en to 1i hi36 They a turned out to have 5eapons in the to5n, unregistered and

i ega 6 They sear7hed through the houses a0ter5ards and 0ound thirteen 0a 7ons stu00ed

into 0reezers and t5o sno5y o5 s6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o5, yeah, e9a7t y, I drea3t o0 a 5ha e ast night6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ ho-s ta 1ing a.out 5ha es:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ o, .e7ause you 5ere ta 1ing a.out that po ar .ear666 I

oo1ed it up and apparent y it 3eans I-3 a.out to .e 7on0ronted 5ith i3portant 7hoi7es

and 7hanges in 3y i0e and those o0 3y 7 ose ones666

"O / I-3 not 3u7h o0 a hunter 3yse 06

"O +I +LA / I i3agine you-d 0aint at the sight o0 . ood:


43/77


44/77

"O +I +LA / He 3ust have ta1en so3e ti3e o00 his resear7h then6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ !idn-t she have her pi s 5ith her666:

MOTHER/ Ho5 3any 7 u.s did 5e go to that ast night: @ive: I have to ad3it that even

though I-3 not an ine9perien7ed 5o3an, se9ua y spea1ing, I-d never seen a na1ed . a71

3an .e0ore2 (she aughs), so daaar1 s1inned6 He oo1ed i1e he 5as in a 7at suit6

(the mother and son laugh at the memory

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "pare us2

MOTHER/ 'our 0ather 5asn-t . a71, though, as you 1no5, o0 7ourse2

"O / o, he 5asn-t6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ ot . a716

MOTHER/ It-s as i0 ginger+haired 3en are 3ore na1ed than others, he 5as a7tua y

tota y transparent, you 7ou d see the iver under his s1in, it 3ade no di00eren7e 5hether

he 5as out in the sun, he 5as never .ro5n, you 7ou d a 5ays see the veins inside hi32

I 7ou d never 8uite 7o3e to ter3s 5ith that2 I so3eti3es 0e t i1e I-d 3arried an e 06

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ This is 4ust so666

MOTHER (to her son $ Ta1e a 8ui71 oo1 at the 0reezer 0or 3e and see i0 it-s o1ay6 It

5as 3a1ing pe7u iar noises this 3orning6

"O / I 3ight need so3e i8uid 7oo ant . (he stands up and exits

MOTHER/ (to others 'our 0ather 5asn-t 3u7h into se9 in the ear y years o0 our


45/77

3arriage6 ot in the 0irst ten years6

"O +I +LA / 'ou-ve a ready 3entioned your se9 i0e, E iza.eth6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ ait a 3inute, do you 3ean2:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Are you i3p ying that-s 5hy 5e have no 7hi dren2:

MOTHER/ And I 5asn-t 3u7h either, as it happens6

"O +I +LA / But you sti 3anaged to have three 7hi dren6

MOTHER/ It on y ta1es three sper3s2 Martin6 In re ation to a 3an-s tota sper3

output, not to 3ention hu3anity-s, that-s not a ot6

"O / (off stage A 3an produ7es2 nine .i ion sper3s in a i0eti3e2

"O +I +LA / He shou d 1no56 ( %tands up and exits

MOTHER/ The geneti7s e9pert; He shou d 1no5 everything that needs to .e 1no5n

a.out deo9yri.onu7 ei7 a7id, 3y .oy666 Than1 $od, not everything .ears 0ruit666 I3agine

i0 a o0 earth s inha.itants des7ended 0ro3 Ada3666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ ho e se 5ou d 1eep a 0reezer out in the garage 9 (%tands up

and exits

MOTHER/ I had the sa3e taste 0or shorter 3en that a ot o0 stunning y .eauti0u 5o3en

have had6 Men 5ho .are y 7o3e to their .reasts, .a d o der 3en i1e that ug y 0e o5

"ophia Loren 3arried, o der 3en on the verge o0 a 7oronary thro3.osis6 Eva Braun 1ne5

ho5 to pi71 the3 short6 And apo eon-s =osephine 1ne5 5hat it 3eant to .e 5ith a 3an

5ho on y 3easured one 3etre 0orty eight in his .oots2 (the youngest daughter stands


46/77

and exits. The mother is left sitting alone

It-s in7redi. e 5hat arge shoe sizes 5o3en 5ear these days, 5hen I ran a0ter Ada3 in

3y high hee s, it 5asn-t 7onsidered ady+ i1e to 5ear anything .igger than thirty+seven6

hat shoe size do you thin1 =osephine 5ore: Huh: But I-3 digressing2 e-re here to

ta 1 a.out inheritan7e issues and not the eterna 8uestions6 And I-3 sudden y steeped in

history;

(calling as there so3ething 5rong 5ith the 0reezer, Mi1e:

(blackout

AC$ +

(The position of the stage props and lighting has changed. The mother has a new look

and seems younger now. The son in law has also softened his look" his tie is gone" the

top buttons of his shirt are undone and he has a new hairstyle with gel in his hair. The

son" on the other hand" is looking slightly more manly. Dance.

MOTHER/ $uess 5hat I 0ound under the so0a:

"O / hat:

MOTHER/ !o you re3e3.er the CDDD pie7e 4igsa5: The T5in To5ers set against the

dying sun:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o6


47/77


48/77

"O +I +LA / I0 5e app y today, she 3ight get a p a7e in t5o years ti3e, i0 she s u71y,

and she- .e 5e into her eighties .y then6

"O / "eventy6

"O +I +LA / 'eah, into your eighties6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "he 0orgot Martin-s .irthday this spring6

"O / *ut out the 7rap, 5hy on earth shou d she 5ant to re3e3.er Martin-s .irthday:

'ou-re su00o7ating her, tying her do5n, she has no private i0e o0 her o5n .e7ause o0you6

(silence

e , 3o33y dearest, 5hat do you thin1: They-re 3a1ing arrange3ents 0or you:

"O +I +LA / It-s the 3ost 7ost+e00e7tive so ution2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 2so ution6

"O +I +LA / e-ve had an o00er (takes out a folded form . e-ve got the papers6

"O / And you had the3 in your py4a3as 5hen the phone rang6

MOTHER/ Martha and Martin are a 5ays 7on7o7ting ne5 ideas6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es, 5e-ve .een ta 1ing this over, Martin and I2 and2 and

Magda en2 regarding 3o32 as 3e3.ers o0 the 3a4ority2

MOTHER/ One oo1s at the .arren p ain o0 our e9isten7e .et5een the 3ountains and


49/77

the shore and rea ises that ti3e is running out6

"O / (to the audience !ante: (to her sister) hat-s a this nonsense, 3o3:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to the brother in law hi7h re3inds 3e, 5asn-t an un7 e

o0 yours run over .y a .u dozer re7ent y:

"O +I +LA / 'es6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ And did you rent a venue 0or the 0unera re7eption:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I hear peop e are going .a71 to .asi7s 5hen it 7o3es to 0unerare7eptions no5, 4ust a 0e5 sand5i7hes, .uns and s7ones6 It-s .e7o3e the in+thing to 1eep

it p ain and traditiona 6 I 3ean they 5ere turning into rea e9travaganzas 5ith pros7iutto

and 3e on, sushi, 7ho7o ate 0ountains666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ On7e I start thin1ing a.out it, death is a over the p a7e6

'ou on y have to turn on the radio and .ang, so3eone-s .eing . o5n up in =a a a.ad2

or a ne5spaper de ivery .oy is .eing run over in is7onsin, and that-s 0o o5ed .y death

and 0unera announ7e3ents6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 7an-t even open the paper any3ore, everyone-s dying6

"O +I +LA / Isn-t that a seasona thing: !on-t peop e 3ain y die in =anuary:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 4ust thin1 i0e is su7h a 0 eeting2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I agree6 I 3ean you 3eet so3eone and 3arry hi3 and ive 5ith

hi3 0or si9ty years2 and then 5hen you oo1 do5n at hi3 in his 7o00in you thin12 hey,

5ho 5as that:


50/77

"O / At the sa3e ti3e 3any peop e as1 the3se ves/ and 5ho a3 I that-s e0t .ehind:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 1ind o0 5onder 5hat happened in the 0irst se7onds that

0o o5ed the Big Bang:

o5, 5e need to serious y thin1 a.out the 3e ting o0 the po es2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Huh: 'eah, do3esti7 vio en7e2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ In7est2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ To9i7 5aste2

"O +I +LA / the ine9p i7a. e death o0 .irds2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ A 7oho is32

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ ationa .an1rupt7y6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ !rugs6

"O +I +LA / u7 ear a77idents2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ E9a7t y6

MOTHER/ 'ou-d a 3ost thin1 peop e 7ou d avoid dying i0 they 7ou d spend their entire

ives doing up their ho3es and o5n nothing that is 3ore than t5o years o d6


51/77

"O +I +LA / That-s going a .it too 0ar6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 7ou d sti do 5ith a ne5 te y, 3o3, it-s ten years o d

and no+one has those tu.e te ies any3ore6

"O +I +LA / I 5onder i0 it-s 5orth it6 As 5e 5ere saying, Martha and I have .een2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Then you .uy a 7o3puter and ater ta1e it to .e 3ended and

the guy te s you three years is a good i0e span6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Li0e 4ust isn-t 5hat one e9pe7ted it to .e2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I agree, Martha, everything is so in7redi. y transient, any

one o0 us 7ou d drop dead in the 3orning6

MOTHER/ !on-t I 1no5:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "o 3any o0 the things that shou d happen don-t6 And then

they happen 5hen you thin1 there 5asn-t a 7han7e o0 the3 happening any3ore6 And

then 3ay.e you don-t 5ant the3 any onger6 'ou desperate y 5ant hi3 to phone and

then 5hen he phones, 3ay.e at 3idnight to te 3e he-s had it up to here 5ith his 5i0e

and that he 7an-t get 3e out o0 his head2 then I 4ust 5ant to 0a as eep again2 'ou

have to .e so in7redi. y ready 0or every eventua ity in i0e6

MOTHER/ It-s not as i0 dying is any .ig dea 6 'ou hear the 7o00ee 3a7hine per7o ating

and the nurse on duty is reading a gossip 3ag2 then you go on your o5n2

ou d anyone i1e so3e toast:

"O / o, than1s6

MOTHER/ ou d anyone i1e so3e toast:


52/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, than1s6

MOTHER/ I- 3a1e so3e toast then6

(,-T stands up and then goes back stage to become younger

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Thin1 a.out it2 5e die6

"O / That-s one thing 5e 7an unani3ous y agree on as a 0a3i y Q 5e a die6

Ho5 do you 0ee a.out that:

"O +I +LA / (directed his words at his brother in law "o3e i0esty es are ris1ier than

others666

(The son stands up and dances. The son in law watches him and then 6oins the son in the

dance

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 7ou d .e a.out to go on a 7a3ping trip2 getting ready to

get into the 7ar, standing in the drive5ay and then .ang666 you 7o apse666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 7an 4ust pi7ture it666 A . ue s1y666 per0e7t 5eather

0ore7ast666 'ou-re going .a71 in to get2 the pu3p 0or the air 3attress and2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hy 3e, 5hy not 4ust as 3u7h you:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 1ind o0 e9pe7t peop e to go in order o0 age666

I0 no+one died, it 5ou d .e rea y 7ro5ded every5here2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 3ight .e 3arried to so3eone and a0ter a 0e5 years as1

yourse 0/ 5hat-s he 1eeping a se7ret diary 0or: hat-s he doing out at night:


53/77

"O / Isn-t he 4ust 5a 1ing your pood e:


"O / Isn-t Martin entit ed to his se7rets i1e everyone e se: And his hopes and ongings:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ *oup es share 4oint hopes and ongings6 ()otices ,artin has

changed look Hang on, have you done so3ething to your hair:

(pause

"O +I +LA / There are pro. e3s in any re ationship2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat do you 3ean:

"O +I +LA / I 3ean peop e 7an ta1e varying a3ounts o0 ti3e to 0ind the3se ves2

I-3 not 7riti7izing you2 not dire7t y6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat then:

"O +I +LA / "he has her prin7ip esK she i3poses 7ertain ru es in the ho3e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Are you ta 1ing a.out Tuesdays:

"O +I +LA / I 5as reading a .oo16

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou, reading a .oo1: I-ve never seen you read a .oo16

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ A 8uarter o0 the 3en in this 7ountry have never read a .oo16


54/77

"O +I +LA / everthe ess, I 5as reading a .oo16 A 3an doesn-t have to a77ount 0or

everything he does6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Ha 0 the 3en never go to theatre6

"O +I +LA / There are oads o0 3en 5ho don-t ne7essari y ta 1 a.out 5hat they get up

to in their ives 4ust 0or the sa1e o0 so3e survey6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ e I never6 'ou-re se7ret y reading .oo1s2 at 5or1 3ay.e6

"O +I +LA / ot .oo1s, .ut a .oo16

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ And 5ou d you 3ind te ing 3e 5hat .oo1 you-re reading

.ehind 3y .a71: Is it !aughter o0 the ind:

"O +I +LA / o, it-s not !aughter o0 the ind6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I 4ust 0ind it rea y un7o30orta. e not to 1no5 5hat .oo1 you-re

reading6

"O +I +LA / It-s a .oo1 a.out re ationships6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ A.out re ationships:; !o you 3ind 3e as1ing 5hy:

"O +I +LA / An a78uaintan7e o0 3ine re7o33ended it to 3e2 5e 5ere ta 1ing

a.out our2 things6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "o you-re dis7ussing our re ationship 5ith strangers:

"O +I +LA / =ust in the 5ay 3en ta 1 a.out things6


55/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Is it "i3on:

"O +I +LA / o, it-s not "i3on666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Lu1e:

(silence

"o it-s so3eone out there in the to5n2 and I don-t even 1no5 5hat he oo1s i1e2 so I

7an-t prote7t 3yse 0 against2 so3eone 5ho ga51s at 3e in the super3ar1et and 1no5s

a 1inds o0 persona things a.out 3e666 i1e he-s 4ust2 7rept into 3y .athtu.666

(pause

There are 4ust so 3any things one has to s5a o5 (grabs a waffle and shoves it into her

face

"O /


56/77

"O +I +LA / I-3 not p anning any trip to


57/77

"O / Everyone has to eat6 The 0reezer is 7ra33ed 5ith666 rea y 7ra33ed6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ That 7o3es as a .it o0 a surprise to 3e666 I 7an-t rea y i3agine

you 7oo1ing anything e a.orate, any parti7u ar dish6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ It too1 3e .y surprise too6 Every ti3e I-ve .een e3otiona y

re4e7ted, I-ve invented a ne5 dish6

"O / $ood 0or you, Magda en6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 3ight .e using so3e e0tovers and have no 0aith in5hat you-re doing, .ut it turns out to .e rea y good and you say to yourse 0/ hey, 5hy

don-t I pu. ish a 7oo1ery .oo1: "o3ething that 7an rea y he p peop e 5ho have no 0aith

in the3se ves666 it gre5 on 3e .it .y .it6 (to her sister Having you .ehind 3e 3eans so

3u7h to 3e on this666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (elsewhere I-3 .ehind you666 & .ehind you6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, 5hy not CDD :

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ =ust saying, nothing-s CDD in i0e, there-s a 5ays so3e

deviation in the 7a 7u ations666 ou d you in7 ude the app e pie re7ipe:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I-d in7 ude the app e pie re7ipe, .ut not ne7essari y 5ith the

a 3onds and 3arzipan6 I see the3 as si3p e re7ipes that peop e 7an easi y hand e6 !o

you 1no5 5hat I 3ean: ith a 3a9i3u3 o0 three ingredients in ea7h re7ipe6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "o 5i this .e a re7ipe .oo1 0or peop e 5ho have .een

e3otiona y re4e7ted then:


58/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah, .ut I 5ou d a so say that these 5i .e re7ipes 0or

re ative y ne5 re ationships6

"O / And 0or a 1ind o0 re ationships666

(%lips his arms around his sisters. ,artin is isolated. The mother returns" having grown

younger. %he is wearing a beautiful dress. %he puts on lipstick" ad6usts her hair. The

family does not react to the mothers changed appearance.

MOTHER/ Is it 3y 0au t i0 the 7hi dren are the 5ay they are: hen you see the

5ea1nesses o0 the 0ather in your 7hi dren you 0ee i1e poisoning the3666 *an I o00er you

a drop o0 port:2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ o, than1s6

MOTHER/ *an-t I o00er you a drop o0 port:

"O +I +LA / o than1s6

MOTHER/ I- pour a g ass then6

(,other pours a tumbler of port

"O +I +LA / Martha and I 7a3e here to go over666

"O / Over 5hat:

"O +I +LA / And then 5e got sidetra71ed into a dis7ussion a.out .irds and the Big

Bang and2 and2

(pause

(hesitating Hang on, 5eren-t 5e the ones 5ho 7onvened this 0a3i y 3eeting:


59/77

"O / o, it 5as 3o36

(pause

MOTHER/ I-ve so d the house *(pause

The house 5as 5ho y 3ine2 and I inherited it 0ro3 3y 3other, it 5as 3y so e

property, not Ada3-s2 He o5ned the e9tension and the garage2 And the de.ts too

.e7ause he 5as a 5ays investing 3y Ada3 5as6 He 5as a 5ays .uying so3e shares2

that evaporated into thin air666 pu006666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ =ust to .e sure I heard this right, have you so d the house:Martin and I666

"O +I +LA / 'eah, she-s so d the house6

MOTHER/ I got a 0ine pri7e 0or it6 The .an1 .ought it 0ro3 3e2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "o that2

MOTHER/ 'es, I app ied 0or an initia 7apita oan 0ro3 the .an16 I 5as short o0 7ash so I

had to p edge the house as 7o atera so it-s 5ith the .an1 no5666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her brother Are you part o0 this2 p ot:

"O / o, I-3 inno7ent6 I 1ne5 nothing6 #p unti yesterday2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ "o you-ve had inside in0or3ation sin7e yesterday and not said

anything:

"O / Aren-t 5e having this 3eeting to ta 1 this over:


60/77

"O +I +LA / (to brother in law !id you get a oan 0ro3 E iza.eth:

ere you under5riting a oan 0or Mi7hae :

"O / o, I get .y 4ust 0ine, than1 you very 3u7h6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to mother Are you te ing 3e that you o5ed2:

MOTHER/ I-ve 4ust .een investing a.road a0ter Ada3 died2 in an orphanage 0or itt e

gir s2 street 7hi dren on the other side o0 the p anet6 I-ve 0reed 3yse 0 o0 everything6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "o that666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 666the house is a7tua y gone:

MOTHER/ I-ve spent everything2 the .an1 is no p a7e to 1eep your 3oney2 it-s 0ar

too ris1y6 ho 5ou d trust a .an1 5ith their 3oney: A very po ite 3an at the .an1 to d

3e that 7ir7u3stan7es have 7hanged6 I too1 a 3y 3oney out and p a7ed it in the

orphanage6

"O +I +LA / =ust to .e sure I-ve got this right2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es, 3y 3other has so d the house and p a7ed a the 3oney in a

ho3e 0or street 7hi dren6

"O / On the other side o0 the p anet6

"O +I +LA / hat nonsense is this:

MOTHER/ I 3ight not o5n any assets, .ut I-ve had a great idea6 I 3entioned 3y

.usiness p an ear ier, you 5eren-t istening6 I-3 going to i3port2


61/77

"O +I +LA / hat 1ind o0 a 0a3i y is this:

MOTHER/ 2ha33o71s6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (to her brother $ !id you 1no5 a.out this:

"O / ot in any detai 2 ot unti yesterday2 A.out the ha33o71s6

"O +I +LA / Have 5e got that right, Martha: Are you going to invest in ha33o71s:

MOTHER/ I-ve a ready ordered ten thousand and paid 0or the 0irst ship3ent6 My ong+ter3 target is to ensure every ho3e in this 7ountry has a ha33o71, 4ust i1e te ephone

dire7tories6


62/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Eye+1ea

MOTHER/ This isn-t a pro0it+3a1ing 7o3pany2

"O +I +LA / o, you 7an say that again6666

MOTHER/ But i0 there is a pro0it, it- a go to the ho3e 0or street gir s6 They-re the

sa3e age as 3y =u ia6 "he-s .een he ping her granny2 5ith a the paper5or12 5riting

.usiness Eng ish etters 0or 3e i1e a true e9pert2 4ust presses so3e 1eys2 (mimes

typing into a computer in the air 5 and 3a1es trans0ers 0or 3e2

(The son has dragged out a box full of envelopes and holds it in his arms. #veryones

eyes are glued to the mother.

EL!E"T !A#$HTER $ (taking envelopes out of the box hat .i s are these2:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER (takes an envelope out of the box and reads the bill inside $

@our hundred thousand;

"O +I +LA $ (takes a bill out of the box" reads One 3i ion+si9+hundred+and+seventy+

0ive;

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ @our 3i ion, nine 3i ion+and+nine2

(The box is passed between the daughters" son and son in law in a circle several times"

during which each one of them looks into an envelope" puts it back" and passes the box

onto the next person

MOTHER/ This has 3ost y .een ta1en 7are o0 .y the .an16 I overspent a .it6 One 7an t

.etray one s idea s6 The 8uestion isn-t so 3u7h ho5 3u7h 3oney one 7an 3a1e as ho5


63/77

3u7h 3oney one 7an give6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Is there nothing e0t then: Martin and I 5ere going to raise the

atti7 and .ui d an e9tension6 e-ve got a 7onstru7tion per3it6

MOTHER/ o, nothing e0t6 =ust enve opes6 'ou 7an 1eep those i0 you i1e6

I a so .ought 3yse 0 a 0e5 dresses 0or the 4ourney2

(The youngest daughter looks around" notices the change in her mothers appearance"

scans the room with her eyes" picks up a case and places it on the table.

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ @or the 4ourney: Are you going on a 4ourney:

MOTHER/ I-3 going to visit 3y gir s and see ho5 they-re getting a ong6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (noticing the changes in her mother. #veryone is scrutini8ing

her now

ait a 3inute, did you 7hange your hair:

"O +I +LA / Are you te ing 3e that a 5o3an in her eighties is a.out to e3.ar1 on a

trip to the other side o0 the p anet:

"O / 'ou-ve a ready 3entioned 3y age, Martin6

MOTHER/ uiero un .o7adi o 7on po o por 0avor;

I0 5e on y ever .ehave sensi. y i0e gets so .oring6 Ada3 and I 1ne5 ho5 to .ehave so

2 0oo ish y (laughs at the memory with her son . I 0ee I-ve .een re.orn2 I-vesi3p i0ied 3y i0e2 0reed 3yse 0 o0 everything2 'ou 7an a 5ays start a ne5 ea0 so

ong as you-re a ive2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (dryly 'eah, sure6


64/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ E9a7t y 5hat I 5as thin1ing6 'ou 7an 7onsider yourse 0 u71y i0

you 3anage to do 5hat you 5ant to do 0or one hour every day6

MOTHER/ I thin1 it-s o1ay to .e si y and 0oo around 5hi e 5e-re sti a ive6 Then a o0

a sudden it-s over and you-re sorry you 5eren-t si ier 3ore o0ten6

"O / *ou dn-t agree 5ith you 3ore6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (turning to her brother 'ou 1no5 5hat: I-ve had a .e y0u o0

your geneti7s6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Ho5 a.out a o7a hea th spa: Isn-t it enough to go to a

hea th spa:

MOTHER/ hat 5ou d I do in a spa 5here they don t even serve 3eat: or 7o00ee: A3

I supposed to drin1 Ear $rey: I 5ant to e9perien7e adventures 5hi e I-3 sti a ive6


65/77

(,other prepares to make a note of it

MOTHER (The mother writes it down" reading as she writes. $ Magda en gets the 5a00 e

3a1er a0ter I die2 O0 7ourse, it-s i3possi. e to 1no5 at this ti3e 5ho3 5e- .e

inheriting 0ro3 0irst2

%-)$ (returns with the waffle maker and lines it up And no5 the reading o0 the 5i 7an

.egin6

MOTHER/ And you, Martha, 5hat 5ou d you i1e:

(no reaction

I0 you have no spe7ia 5ishes, I 5as thin1ing o0 eaving you a 3y gardening too s6 I-vea7tua y a ready given the a5n 3o5er a5ay, .ut I 5as thin1ing o0 the 0or12 and the

ra1e6 hat do you say to that, Martha dear: (writing it down

Mi1e then gets t+5+o d+r+e+s+s+e+s (writing it down

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her brother 'ou 4ust 0 y into the 7ountry and a7t i1e 3o3-s

0avourite 4ust .e7ause you pretend to i1e every 5hi3 that 7rosses her 3ind6

"O / "he-s independent, isn-t she: @inan7ia y and ega y independent:

"O +I +LA / "hou dn-t she go the 5ho e 5ay and get herse 0 a visa 7ard:

MOTHER/ They too1 that a5ay 0ro3 3e ages ago6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat 5ou d dad have said, ho5 do you thin1 he 0ee s a.out it

.eyond the grave:

MOTHER/ Ada3 5asn-t a 3an 5ho he d any strong vie5s6 Or 5ho genera y ta 1ed

3u7h666 He-s not 7o3ing on this 4ourney666


66/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I-ve .een driving you to the hairdresser-s and Martin got a

do7tor he 1no5s to 5rite out a 1inds o0 pres7riptions 0or you6666

"O / Hang on, did you 5rite that do5n: !o you 3a1e out a ist o0 a the things you do

0or peop e: !o you 7a those 0avours: Have you .een trying to 7ontro her:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat have you ever done 0or her:

"O / I- a 5ays try to re0rain 0ro3 giving 3o3 any sensi. e advi7e6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her brother 'ou 4ust turn up 5ith so3e ridi7u ous tie

5ith a .utter0 y pattern2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ The gayest you-ve ever .een6

MOTHER/ Mi1e oo1s good in everything6

"O / I 3ay not .e the person you thin1 I a36

MOTHER/ The .utter0 ies are no 7oin7iden7e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat .utter0 ies:

MOTHER/ The .utter0 ies on Mi7hae -s tie:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ hat do you 3ean:

MOTHER/ I gave hi3 the tie6 The ha33o71s are i1e outstret7hed .utter0 y 5ings666 It

5as =u ia 5ho de7ided on the 7o our and the shape2 "he-s so 0as7inated .y .utter0 ies2

"O / And they-re o0 the 7o ours o0 the rain.o56


67/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ "urprise;

"O +I +LA / The 7o our 7o3.ination 7o3es as no surprise666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (to her brother $ And you didn-t even try to 1no71 so3e o0 this

nonsense out o0 her:

"O / o, I-3 not you, that-s the 5ho e point6 It-s her i0e6 "he 7an do 5hat she 5ants

5ith 5hat she has earned in i0e6 I on y heard a.out it yesterday6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 4ust thin1 it-s so in7redi. y insensitive to5ards us666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her .rother) 'ou 4ust traipse in here i1e so3e .ig shot guest

and sit on your pedesta 666 =ust appear out o0 no5here2 so3e .ig geneti7s e9pert and

thin1 you 1no5 3e6 'ou 4ust go ga ivanting a.road2 having a .a 2 Then you 7o3e

ho3e 0or a 5ee1 and thin1 you 1no5 everything a.out2 a.out2 sper36

"O / I 5ou dn-t go that 0ar666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 666po1ing your nose into Martin-s and 3y a00airs, giving us

unso i7ited advi7e on !anish sper3 .an1s666 'ou 3ight even .e 5or1ing as one o0 their

sa e reps666 hat are you a 5ays doing pottering around the 0reezer:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ The return o0 the prodiga son and Martha and I don-t even

get to eat the 0rozen 7ru3.s out in the sno52

(The sisters and son in law move/dance in unison

"O +I +LA (as he dances 'our sisters have 7ared 0or your 3other 5ith undivided

attention and devotion6


68/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (as she dances 'ou 4ust don-t 1no5 5hat 5e-ve .een

through2 I0 it-s not her g asses, it-s her teeth2

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (as she dances Everything-s a 5ays su7h 0un 5ith you and

3o3 5hen you sho5 up, you order pizza2

MOTHER/ 'es, I-3 done 5ith the potato era2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (screeching It-s 4ust un.eara. e the 5ay one 7hi d is p a7ed on a

pedesta i1e that6

"O +I +LA / 'eah, you 0ee it 3ight .e unne7essary to s aughter a 7a 06

MOTHER/ Mi1e is 4ust so 3u7h 0un, he 7an-t he p it, he-s so 0u o0 4oie de vivre and

a 5ays ta1es 3y suggestions so 5e 666 I 0ee so 0ree 5ith hi32

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 4ust 7arry on .ringing 7o our into other peop e-s ives and

singing in your 7 u.s6 Magda en and I 7an ta1e 7are o0 3o3666

MOTHER/ He inherited 3y singing voi7e6

(pause

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 3ight not agree 5ith Martha a.out everything, .ut I do

agree 5ith her 5hen she says you 4ust 7o3e here and shit on everything the t5o o0 us

have .een doing 0or 3o36 o5 she doesn-t 5ant to go the spa any3ore .e7ause she

5ants to 0ound an orphanage 0or gir s on the other side o0 the p anet and to start

i3porting ha33o71s6 "he-s .e7o3e he p ess 5ithout us6

"O / That 5asn-t the intention6 Mo3 and I2


69/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Mo3 and I, 3o3 and I666 It-s as i0 you 7an-t thin1 0or

yourse 0 any3ore666

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Mo33y-s pet6

' $RI O$ EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Mo33y-s pet6

(pause

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (To her brother I 4ust 0ee you don-t appre7iate 5hat Martin and

I have done 0or you6 e-ve o0ten de0ended you, 4ust so that you 1no5666

"O / Than1 you6 I didn-t rea ise I needed de0ending6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Been on a 1inds o0 3ar7hes2

"O / I never as1ed you to go on any 3ar7hes 0or 3e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ ho stood .y your side 5hen you 7a3e out o0 the 7 oset:

"O / Mo3: Other5ise I don-t have any re7o e7tion o0 7o3ing out o0 any 7 oset6

(The eldest daughter laughs

"O +I +LA / Have you any idea o0 5hat this has 7ost the 0a3i y: A o0 those ottery

ti71ets 5e had to .uy 0ro3 the dea0 and ho3o2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Ho3ose9ua s6

(To husband 'ou didn-t sho5 any great so idarity 5hen I 5ent on that 3ar7h, pre0erredto nip into that 7a0J 5ith that eather+4a71eted guy6 ho 5as he, Lu1e:


70/77

"O +I +LA / It 3ight have .een Lu1e, yeah6

"O / $ay pride isn-t in the ha.it o0 se ing ottery ti71ets, as 0ar as I 1no56

"O +I +LA / A 3an needs to stand .y his 5i0e2 .ut up to a 7ertain point6 I

appre7iate the 0a7t that it 7an 7rop up in any 0a3i y, .ut2 4ust to .e per0e7t y 7 ear2 I

don-t see the need to shout in s8uares a.out it6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I agree 5ith Martin, they shou dn-t 3a1e so 3u7h 0uss a.out it6

"O / I haven-t 3ade any 0uss a.out it6 I-3 not gay6 (%ilence" everyone stares at ,ichael . o, I-3 not a7tua y gay6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat do you 3ean you-re not gay:

"O / 'ou 7ou d have as1ed 3e a.out 3y se9ua orientations2 @a7e to 0a7e6 Or sister

to .rother6

"O +I +LA / The truth a.out Mi7hae -s se9ua orientations;

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ ho .others as1ing a.out 5hat they a ready 1no5: I0 one 5ere

to as1 a the 8uestions one a ready 1no5s the ans5ers to, there 5ou dn-t .e any ti3e e0t

0or anything e se in i0e6 It-s i1e 5earing a 5at7h and a 5ays as1ing peop e 0or the ti3e6

(,artin glances at his watch Or as1ing your hus.and 5hen he 7o3es ho3e 0ro3 5or1

a0ter 5or1ing overti3e 5hether he 5as at 5or1: I thought it 5as per0e7t y ogi7a in

ight o0 the 0a7ts o0 your 7hi dhood that you 5ere gay6

"O / hat do you 3ean .y in ight o0 the 0a7ts o0 3y 7hi dhood :

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ Li1e hanging around the .edroo3 p aying 5ith Bar.ie6


71/77

"O / I don-t re3e3.er that6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I on y spea1 the truth6

(pause

In the .roadest sense o0 the ter36

MOTHER , (6oining in the conversation There-s so3ething so p ay0u a.out the truth6 Isn-t anguage 0as7inating:

"O / In the .roadest sense:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'ou 7an-t 4ust ta1e the truth into your o5n hands and de7ide on

5ho I thin1 you are6 'ou 7an-t 7ontro 5hat I re3e3.er6

"O / Resear7h has sho5n that 3e3ory is o7ated in the sa3e part o0 the .rain as our

i3agination6 'ou-ve 7reated so3ething a.out 3e that you 7a truth6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Hey, I 3ight not .e Martha6 I0 you goog e truth Q as I have,

it so happens, re7ent y done Q you- get D?,DDD hits6 I 3ean, 5ho shou d one .e ieve:

MOTHER/ asn-t it Magda en 5ho p ayed 5ith Bar.ie: Mi1e 5as a 5ays in the garage

5ith his 0ather 3a1ing so3ething6 And then they .oth 5a 1ed .a71 in 5ith a 7ut ery

dra5er 0or 3e6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ hat i0 it 5asn-t Mi7hae 5ho 5as p aying 5ith the do s, .ut

da.. ing at three 7hords on his guitar: o+one 1ne5 5hat he got up to on7e he o71ed

hi3se 0 into his roo36

"O / hat i0 it 5as so3eone e se 5ho o71ed the3se ves in:


72/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ hat i0: Too 3any 5hat i0s, I-3 tired o0 the 7onditionatense in this 0a3i y6

MOTHER/ Linguisti7s;

"O / I-3 sorry not to .e the person you thought I 5as6

"O +I +LA / It is 8uite possi. e that so3e peop e don-t 1no5 e9a7t y 5ho they are and

are sti sear7hing and as1ing the3se ves 8uestions6

(all stare at ,artin

'ou 3ight .e groping in the dar12 5ith yourse 02

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (to husband Are you ta 1ing a.out Lu1e:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ A though I-3 3e and Martha is Martha, I have to agree 5ith

her that it 7an .e tiring 5hen peop e are a 5ays 7hanging6


73/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ It-s in7redi. e 5hat e97iting ives so3e other peop e ive6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ *ou d you .e 3ore pre7ise:

"O / The truth is that666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es:

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es:

"O / The truth is that6 'eah6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah:

"O / 'eah6

The truth is that I 3et a 5o3an this spring, 5hi7h you pro.a. y didn-t e9pe7t666 and

Bar.ara Q I 3ean 5e Q are e9pe7ting a .a.y and 5e-re 3oving in together6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ Hang on, is this the sa3e Bar.ara 5ho 5ent to that

7on0eren7e in Boston 5ith you:

"O / The sa3e Bar.ara 5ho 5ent to that 7on0eren7e in Boston 5ith 3e6

MOTHER/ "o the 0a3i y is gro5ing .igger and, even though 5e-re not getting any

!anish sper3, 5e-re at east getting so3e !anish eggs2

(The eldest daughter breaks down. )o one comforts her.


74/77

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ But to put on a dress and 7 i3. on a stage to sing in so3e .ar:

"O +I +LA / Ho3o ere7tus6

MOTHER/ 'ou ought to 1no5 that6 It-s not 4ust the priest 5ho has a2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (finishing her sentence ... . a71 dog6

MOTHER/ Isn-t it 5onder0u that on y those three sper3s out o0 the .i ions that 5ere

avai a. e survived and that you .e7a3e you and not so3eone e se:

"O / He on7e 0orgot to o71 the garage door .ehind hi3 and I opened the door2 !adsat on a 7hair2 in the 3idd e o0 the 0 oor2 He sat .y the se5ing 3a7hine and 5as

se5ing a . ue satin dress and he a o5ed 3e to tou7h the 3ateria and to 0ee 5hat

stro1ing satin 0e t i1e6 @ee it, he said6 And he a o5ed 3e to ru. the si 1 and to 0ee the

di00eren7e .et5een si 1 and vis7ose6 And .et5een 7otton and inen and 0 a9, t5eed,

po yester, po y vis7ose, 7repe, 7hi00on, organza, ve vet, voi e2 Have I a ready said si 1:

MOTHER/ He 5as 3is7ast in i0e 3y Ada3 5as2 in that 7o3pany, a 5ays .uying so3e

shares6 He 5as so 7 ever 5ith his hands and se5ed a 3y dresses 0or 3e2 23y

dress3a1er666 "o3eti3es he 5ore 3y dresses and so3eti3es he 5ore his o5n dresses6

Even though 3y Ada3 had 0ine 0eet, he 7ou dn-t 5ear 3y high hee s2 he had his o5n

red ones, nu3.er D high hee s that he 1ept on his side o0 the 5ardro.e6 He stood .ehind

3e 5hen I 5as oo1ing at 3yse 0 in the 3irror2 5ith 3y red ipsti712 i7o e, he 7a ed

hi3se 06

(pause

o5 I on y see 3yse 0 in the 3irror 5 (doing herself up

(long silence

(The eldest daughter opens the briefcase that lies on the table and takes a blue satin


75/77

dress out of it. The mother exits to change" holding the blue satin dress in her arms.

"O / o one gets through i0e uns7athed6 Everyone has so3e s7ar6

(The son lifts his clothes to reveal a scar. #veryone ; ,ichael" ,artha" ,agdalen and

,artin ; shows their scars" which are in different parts of their bodies$ on their scalps"

over their eyebrows" on their necks and knees...

EL!E"T !A#$HTER (showing a scar on her scalp . I have to part 3y hair on the other

side666

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (showing an invisible scar above her eyebrow . I 7an .are yoo1 at 3yse 0 in the 3irror6

"O / Most peop e have to oo1 at .igger pro. e3s in the eye than their o5n re0 e7tions

in the 3irror6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ (to her brother here are your s7ars:

"O / Loo1, here2 and here .

"O +I +LA / I have one here (he unbuttons his shirt

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ (looking at herself in the mirror Is that 3e: It doesn-t 0ee i1e

3e in that . ouse6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I agree that you 7ou d 7ertain y do 5ith a 3a1eover6

(pause

I-d go 0or ye o5, i0 I 5ere you, 3a1es you younger6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ !o you thin1 that 5ou d .e 3ore 3e:


76/77

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ 'eah, I thin1 that 5ou d .e 3ore you6 Today6 I thin1 that

. ouse is 3ore you yesterday6

"O +I +LA / hat a.out 3e:

"O / 'eah, I thin1 Martin 7ou d do 5ith a 7hange too6

(',akeover ,agdalen and ,ichael give ,artha and ,artin a makeover. #veryone

adopts a new style.

The 3other returns" ready for her 6ourney in a blue satin dress" and is looking a lot

younger than she did at the beginning of the play.

MOTHER/ Ti3e to spread our 5ings and 0o o5 the 3igrating .irds6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ @o o5 the 5hat:

MOTHER/ May.e you-d i1e to 7o3e too:

Martha dear:

Magda en:

hat a.out Mi7hae , aren-t you 7o3ing to 3eet us:

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I 7an he p you to pa71 the dresses6

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ I 7an easi y drive her to the airport6

'O# $E"T !A#$HTER/ I- get the pi s ready2

EL!E"T !A#$HTER/ 'es, e9ista2

MOTHER/ Isn-t it an in7redi. e a77ident that 5e ever ended as a 0a3i y: I 3ean us o0 a


77/77

peop e: Huh: Isn-t it 0unny: Isn-t it a 0unny 7oin7iden7e, hu3666:

Oh ho5 Ada3 oved to dan7e6 Is no one going to dan7e: !oesn-t anyone 5ant so3e

5a00 es:

(The door opens. The colours of the rainbow" butterfly wings5 The curtains close.

*pplause. The mother comes out and stands alone in front of the curtains. The applause

stops.

E%IL&'(E

MOTHER/ o one ever e9pe7ted peop e to .e so 1een on rain.o5+7o oured ha33o71s

5ith .utter0 y patterns6 e-ve a ready i3ported GD thousand and .ui t an e9tra t5o 5ings

on 3y gir s- orphanage2 A 5e need no5 is 3ore trees in the ne5er neigh.ourhoods2

THE E !

Eng ish trans ation .y Brian @itz$i..on

adam's children

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