8 The Chichester News Friday, May 7, 2010 www.thechichesternews.co.uk

It was seven in the morning and I was still packing the apartment up. Mark spent the time partly watching me pack and carrying boxes to my car, what a gentlemen, I thought. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I kept waiting for him to tell me to stop... but he didn’t. “Can we talk?” Mark asked, making me jump from my thoughts. “You know when you leave that’s it? I can’t have any contact with you.” the words were like a dagger in my heart. “so you’re just going to walk away are you? what about maintenance? are you going to pay me anything towards that?” “How much do you want?” “I don’t know, I have no idea how much money it’s going to cost a month but I’m guessing a lot.” “and you still think it’s wise to keep it, knowing you will have to struggle?” “what do you think everyone else does? I doubt very much I will ever be in a position where I am comfortable financially so it really doesn’t make a big difference. You find the money, make allowances and cut-back on things.” at that moment my mum phoned, “Laura is he sure this is what he

wants? Because if it is maybe you should get him to sign something to say so,” my mum suggested. I hung up the phone and asked Mark, “well are you sure? Because if you are then I’m sure you won’t mind putting it in writing - saying that you waiver all rights.” “Of course I’m sure Laura,” he screamed. “Do you think I would let you go, and let us go through all of this if I wasn’t? I am not ready to be someone’s dad; I can barely look after myself, when are you going to get that into your head?” I tried to plead with him – “But you haven’t even tried, I would understand if a few months in you then realised it was too much hard work, but how do you know until you try, you can’t just give up.” He got even angrier, “no Laura,” he screamed. “I am not going to let you force me into something I don’t want to do.” “Please,” I begged as tears streamed down my face, “don’t do this.” I took a large gulp as I tried to fight the tears. “We’re good together ...” I tried again, “Laura just stop!” Mark screamed, with a pitch to his voice that told me I’d pushed him too far.

“Fine, if you won’t support me emotionally then the least you can do is support me financially.” I sobbed. “I will give you money but I don’t want anything to do with you, I will just pay money straight into your bank account.” “Fine, well then put the whole thing in writing, that you’re waiving all your rights... and about money (I gulped hard)... everything!” “If I’m going to put my name to paper then you can do the same, I will pay you money Laura, provided you swear that you will never tell anybody in my family about this pregnancy.” “You are unbelievable!” I screamed. “How dare you blackmail me... who are you? I feel like I never even knew you, you make me sick!” I spat! the room fell silent and he

stormed out. I heard him rush down the stairs into the bedroom. I stood still and silent shaking with anger for several minutes and then slowly took a few steps forward into the living room. Our apartment was part of a converted cotton mill factory, with a balcony in the living room that overlooked the bedroom and dressing room. Up on my tiptoes I quietly leant over to see what he was doing... he was writing. wide eyed I stood back. He was actually doing it – he was signing away his rights. Laura will be available at her book launch in Waterstones, Chichester on Saturday 15th May 2pm.

One bumpy Summer ride for Laura

Photo: Laura and her Summer bump

When LAURA PAULEY discovered she was pregnant she quickly found herself single, homeless and jobless.

Ahead of her book launch at Waterstones, we take a look into the life of Laura.

This book is her diary. An honest and personal account of everything Laura went through from the moment she

discovered she was pregnant, to being dumped and having to move half way across the country.

another diary entry to follow next week...

01243 782115 Friday, May 14, 2010 The Chichester News 7

It was the day before I was due to travel home, sat alongside my family I blocked out everyone’s conversations around me. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mark. My life. His life. summer’s life. I could feel the emotion building up in the pit of my stomach, like a volcano that was about to erupt. as I sat, like a ticking time bomb, the world carried on around me not realising what was happening to the sister, the daughter, and now the aunt, sat on the sofa opposite. I walked out of the room without saying a word, leaving the new baby celebration to continue. I stood in the bathroom staring at the tiles. then ran to the toilet, I was sick. I returned to the sofa like nothing had happened. “I can’t give up,” I said in a soft voice not daring to look at anyone. “I can’t give up,” I repeated, this time lifting my bowled head. “Laura you have to give up now, you have done all you can,” my mum and sister told me. “this is not good for you or the baby, I know it’s hard but you have to try and move on,” I was told. But I couldn’t give up... I rang Mark but

he didn’t answer, I texted him but he ignored me. I knew it was his day off and that he’d be at home so I decided to go around.

throughout the time I was there he constantly looked at the clock and reminded me of my remaining minutes. He spoke to me in an unpleasant tone and said some of the cruellest things I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. “I look at you and feel nothing,” was one, “just leave me alone, I want to forget you and move on,” was another. Not to mention, “Every day that we’ve been apart you have become more of a distant memory to me.” He even accused me of being bulimic! saying a few people had asked him if I was bulimic because my teeth were slightly stained. and if I was to drag the ‘situation’ through courts then he would bring it up. Now just to set the record straight, I have never put my fingers down my throat. And funnily enough he couldn’t name these people who’d said that, so whether it was true or not, I guess I will never know. It really bothered me though because once again I felt like people were talking about me.

If he hadn’t yet shocked me enough with his cruel words, then the next sentence was to top off everything he had ever said to me, “if you go through the Csa, I will fight for custody rights and bring her up here a few days a week.” was he blackmailing me? would he actually stoop that low just to spite me? I looked him in the eye in the hope that I could connect with the old Mark, but he was gone. “Can you go now - I don’t want you here anymore.” How could he be so spiteful? I sat there and started to cry... then sob, and before I knew

it I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out. I jumped out of the seat and towards the door as quickly as I could. as I unlocked the door he screamed, “I told you not to come Laura.” I ran straight into the lift unbuttoning my cardigan as I travelled to the ground. I was instantly covered in sweat. as I reached the outside cold air I had a panic attack. I couldn’t live like this anymore.

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One bumpy Summer ride for Laura

Photo: Laura and her Summer bump

When LAURA PAULEY discovered she was pregnant she quickly found herself single, homeless and jobless.

Ahead of her book launch at Waterstones, we take a look into the life of Laura.

This book is her diary. An honest and personal account of everything Laura went through from the moment she

discovered she was pregnant, to being dumped and having to move half way across the country.

Laura will be at Waterstones, Chichester this Saturday 15th May 2pm

OUR finAL LOOk inTO LAURA’S diARY - WEEk 2

Award winning Sánchez at Rae Palmer