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22 JULY 2012

SESSIONS 8BILL WILCOX

ALLEN BOZARTH

Biblical Manhood

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Back to the Basics

All the players knew that at the first team meeting, the legendary coach would waste no time getting straight to the point. Many of the men, half Lombardi’s age and twice his size, were openly fearful, dreading the encounter. The coach did not disappoint them, and, in fact, delivered his message in one of the great one-liners of all time. Football in hand, the great coach walked to the front of the room, took several seconds to look over the assemblage in silence, held out the pigskin in front of him, and said, “Gentlemen, this is a football.”In only five words, Lombardi communicated his point: We’re going to start with the basics and make sure we’re executing all the fundamentals.

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Syllabus for Biblical Manhood

Week Date Topics Facilitator

1 03 June IntroductionSpiritual MaturityWorldview Maturity

BillAllen

2 10 June Disciplined, FaithfulPersonal Maturity

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3 17 June Relational MaturityVerbal Maturity

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4 24 June Calling Out of Sons Allen

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Syllabus for Biblical Manhood

Week Date Topics Facilitator

5 01 July Calling Out of Sons Part 2

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6 08 July Daughters Allen

7 15 July Fathering God’s WayDemonstrating Wisdom

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8 22 July A Godly Husband Allen

9 29 July A Godly Husband Bill

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SESSION 8

A Godly Husband – Part 1

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Introduction

Choosing to enter the marriage relationship, a man assumes great responsibilities in the leadership role of the family

Many times the success, happiness in marriage is determined by the man

What does God demand of the husband and what the wife should expect of her husband?

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Leaves Father and Mother

Matthew 19: 1 – 6 Leave in favor of another has many implications,

ramifications His wife becomes his first earthly loyalty He is to live for his wife and to think of her and please

her before his parents

Leave the “headship” of parents; becomes head of his own family

Leaves the financial support of his parents; provides for himself, his household

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Cleaves to His Wife

Matthew 19: 5 – 6 Your wife is your highest earthly loyalty “Cleave” literally means cemented, glued, adhered to

Same word used Acts 11: 23; Barnabas went to Antioch to encourage Christians there “that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord”

As a Christian: Honor your commitment to Jesus by cleaving to and remaining faithful and loyal to Him

As husband: Honor his commitment to your wife by cleaving to here and remaining faithful and loyal to her

God is the “glue” that joins the husband and wife together They become one, “one flesh” The godly husband sticks with his wife in all things – “for

better or worse”

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The Measure of a ManBy Gene A Getz

A Faithful ManA Good ReputationMoral PurityA Balanced LifeDemonstrating WisdomMaking God’s Truth

AttractiveSharing ResourcesCommunicating

SensitivelyBeing ModerateOvercoming Self-

Centeredness

AngerAvoid Destructive

BehaviorTreating Others FairlyPeacemakerGenerosityFathering God’s WayLoving God

WholeheartedlyBeing Just and UprightLiving a Holy LifeA Disciplined Man

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The 7 Highly Effective Traits of Godly Men

Purity of JosephWisdom of JosiahResponsibility of BoazHonesty of JobCourage of PaulForgiveness of Ananias of DamascusCompassion of Jesus

Source: http://everydaychristian.com/blogs/post/7_highly_effective_traits_of_godly_men/

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The Marks of Manhoodby Dr. Albert Mohler http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001093.cfm

Spiritual MaturityPersonal Maturity Economic MaturityPhysical MaturitySexual MaturityMoral MaturityEthical Maturity

Worldview Maturity

Relational MaturitySocial MaturityVerbal MaturityCharacter MaturityBiblical Maturity

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Equipping MenBy Norm Wakefield

A Man’s IdentityCall out of SonsA Father and His

DaughterHow to Love Your

FamilyThe Influence of

Happiness and Comfort

Purity

Biblically Leading Your Family

Jurisdictional Leadership

Leading with VisionA Father’s Strength:

Spirit of ElijahUnshakable Faith

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Is the Head of His Wife

Ephesians 5: 21 – 33 Headship = Leadership and needed in every familyThe godly husband must live up to this God-given

responsibilityHusband is to be head of his wife as Christ is head of His

church Must be exercised in love, humility, consideration of his wife and

her needs before himself and his own needs Not a tyrant or dictator His wife is not to be his slave to “bow and scrape” for him

Attitude cannot be: self-indulgent; self-centered; focused on your own comfort; women are to be used; independence from God, other men, family

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Honors His Wife

1 Peter 3: 7Respect, esteem, and treatment expressive of

proper honor Not profaned, belittled or treated as common or taken

for granted Honor your wife in both word and deed

The wife is the weaker vessel Many believe this references physical weakness of the

woman compared to the man Rather she is to be honored as a piece of “fine china”

rather than everyday crockery or stoneware

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Honors His Wife

1 Peter 3: 7Honor your wife because she is a fellow heir “of the

grace of life”Honor your wife so “that your prayers may not be

hindered” A husband who mistreats his wife severs his relationship with the

Lord Cannot maintain a relationship with the Lord if you do not live IAW

His will in relationship to your family responsibilities

In Practical Terms: Your wife is to be honored for she has honored you – of all the men she could have chosen to give herself and her life to…your wife chose you!

What are practical ways to honor your wife?

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How To Honor Your Wife

Honor your marriage vows/covenant; keep self, marriage pureDon’t abdicate your headshipTake care of your wife’s well-beingFlirt only with your wifeNo pornOne-woman manEyes do not wanderNo abuse of any kind (e.g. verbal, physical, emotional, sexual,

or financial)Financial Maturity: Establish a budget, maintenance

schedules; budget for dates, get aways and family vacationsEmotional Maturity: Be disciplined; act like a manSpiritual Maturity: Lead, facilitate spiritual growthRun errands for your wife

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How To Honor Your Wife

Love is a choice; love your wife; pursue your wifeLove your children; pursue your children; be their pastor;

pray with your childrenRead the Bible with your children; weekly family devotionalsBe a servant leader, not self-indulgentCall your wife blessed and praise her Song of Solomon; passionate romance (Tommy Nelson)Be one flesh, one teamGive small gifts…when it is not her birthdayActively listenLet the things that matter to her matter to youEncourage her time with other godly womenHonor her parents

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Study Your Wife

What blesses her? What can I do this week to bless my wife? Be intentional Wash, dry, fold, put away clothes; give her a break

What energizes her?What is she good at?What ways has she shaped you for the better then

thank her?Where does she think she’s inadequate?

How can I bring her encouragement in the areas she feels inadequate?

What’s weighing on her heart today? Put down the iPhone, Kindle, laptop, remote, XBOX, golf clubs,

etc. and carve out time to pray with your wife today

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Dating is Fundamental

Lead: take responsibility that you have a regular date with your wife

Plan: make sure the date happens; arrange for sitter; make reservations; be flexible just in case she’s not crazy about your idea

Connect or Reconnect: Make time for good conversation; hard to talk at a movie or concert; add dinner or dessert

Work Around Challenges: Tight budget; new born baby; be creative; take walks; just pursue her

Make Time: for bigger getaways at least once a yearPlan Surprises: carry here clothes sizes with you; flowers;

chocolates; weekend getaway; picnic;

Share your ideas right now on places to eat, to go, , to do etc.

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A Godly Husband

LeaveCleaveLeadHonor

Next Week:DwellsProvidesLoves

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29 JULY 2012

SESSION 9BILL WILCOX

A Godly Husband – Part 2

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Dwells With His Wife with Understanding

1 Peter 3: 7Does not mean a man should seek to know as much as he

can about his wife so that he can understand her Yes, tis important to know your wife’s desires, needs, goals, etc. Not exactly what this passage is teaching

“Ginosko” signifies to be taking in knowledge, to come to know, recognize, understand or to understand completely (W.E. Vine, Expository Dictionary of NT Words, p. 637)

“With an intelligent recognition of the nature of the marriage relation” (Marvin R. Vincent, Word Studies in the New Testament, Vol. I, p. 651)

You may never fully understand your wife however you can completely understand the teachings of Scripture on the marriage relationship

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Provides for the Needs of His Wife

Provide for your wife’s: Physical Needs (1 Timothy 5: 8) Sexual Needs (1 Corinthians 7: 1 – 4)

This is a blessing from God which the marriage relationship supplies

Is a physical expression of the love between a husband and wife

Likewise, satisfy your wife’s emotional needs; understand the link between emotional and sexual

Spiritual Needs (1 Peter 3: 7) As a joint heir of the grace of life Nothing complements the efforts of a wife trying to serve

the Lord than a faithful husband doing the same

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Truly Loves His Wife

Ephesians 5: 25 – 33 Love is the summation of all the husband should be

and do Many marry for love when they mean physical attraction As husband, your love is to be more than mere physical

attractionLove of the husband is to have his wife is compared

to the love Christ has for His church. Husband’s love is to be: Sacrificial – “as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for

her Preeminent – “as their own bodies” Truly Caring – “even as Himself”

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Truly Loves His Wife

1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8 The love of a husband for his wife is to be:

Long-suffering Kind Not envious Not to parade itself; not proud Not seek its own; not selfish Not provoked, not easily offended Not thinking evil; does not dwell on offenses Not rejoicing in iniquity; finds no pleasure in sin Rejoices in truth; loves righteousness Endures wrongs, troubles, afflictions, etc. Believes all things; is trusting and confident of the wife Hopes all things; no pessimism Endures all things; perseveres Never Fails; always abides

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Truly Loves His Wife

1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8 Practical questions:

Are my expectations of my wife unreasonable? Do I daily pray for and/or with my wife? Do I let her know she is “part of my life? Am I pursuing my wife? Am I affection at time other than sex? Do I help and support her in the work she does in our

home? Do I take out my work day frustrations on my wife? Do I regularly tell my wife that I love her? Do I speak kindly to her, even about money?

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Husbands

Must be brave, courageous, intentionalMust be ready to shoulder the responsibilities

as head of his wifeMust love his wife like Jesus loves His churchA godly husband will be rewarded with a

loving wife in this life and eternal blessings in the life to come.

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Circling Back

Ask your children/your wife what it was/is like to have you as a father/husband.

A call or a letter “I’ve been doing some thinking about our relationship and how I may have hurt/wounded you. I’d be honored if you’d tell me what it is/was like to have me as a dad. Simply listen; accept what they say. Once story is out on

the table, ask for forgiveness Pray for forgiveness, reconciliation, end to bitterness Demonstrate your repentance if needed Speak loving, affirming words over and over and over again

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Action Plan

Encourage and hold each other accountable as brothers in Christ to be godly sons, men, husbands, fathers, deacons, elders, pastors

Don’t announce you’re intentions to be a better son, husband, father

Just lead; let them see your example

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Sources & References

The New American Standard BibleMen of Integrity; www.menofintegrity.orgStinson, Randy and Dan Dumas; “A Guide to

Biblical Manhood”Southern Baptist Theological Seminary;

“Family Equipping Ministry Model;” www.sbts.edu/family/

Taylor, Gene; “The Godly Man,” November 1996

Wakefield, Norm; “Equipping Me: Practical Tools for Life’s Issues” (CD Set)

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BILL WILCOXALLEN BOZARTH

Biblical Manhood