WINGING IT SPRING 2020

What Does Recovery Look Like?

When I came to OA I was teeming with self-hate. At first, I envied people who weren’t obese like me. But the disease of Compulsive Eating doesn’t discriminate and manifests itself in different ways. I met overweight people; thin people who binged and purged; underweight people who restricted. Humbly, I acknowledged that outside appearances did not necessarily match inside turmoil. Today I focus less on what recovery looks like and more on what it sounds like and feels like: • An anorexic whose voice is full of hope. “Today, I eat everything on my

food plan, even when my disease tells me not to.” • A bulimic who shares acceptance. “I’m OK that I’ve gone up a pants size

and my hips are bigger.” • A formerly overweight compulsive eater who says, “I don’t worry if I can fit

in a chair or an airplane seat.” • “I made a difficult amends and feel like I’ve released years of shame.” • “I isolated before program and now I delight in making newcomer outreach

calls.” • “I'm grateful I can go to a restaurant with friends because the aromas are

no longer a trigger." Moving forward, I will stop assuming those who are thin are in recovery. Or those who carry excess weight are not in recovery. As for me, I believe abstinence results in physical recovery. I do hope one day my outside appearance matches my inner changes. In the meantime, I recover one day at a time, eating abstinently, living the Twelve Steps, and practicing the OA Principles. What does YOUR recovery look like? Ellie

The Newsletter for

Overeaters Anonymous

Suburban North Intergroup

(SNI) Region 5

Share with us Interested in sharing your recovery, “experience, strength and hope?

How about stories, thoughts or ideas about your program?

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Send email to: Shinypenny906@gmail.com

What Does Your Recovery Look Like? What does my recovery in OA look like? In a nutshell it looks like putting down the food and changing my whole life—the entire psychic change referenced in the Big Book which, for me, could only be achieved by a spiritual experience and an enduring connection with a Power bigger than myself. The power bigger than me before OA was food. I could not stop binging and purging. I tried for many years, and multiple times every single day I would succumb to the oppressive and relentless urge to escape life by binging. I was a multiple grocery bag per binge type of bulimic. Many times binging in the grocery parking lot, only to go back in, use the bathroom to purge, praying that this time I didn't die in there, and not be able to leave the store after purging without getting more food and starting the cycle all over again. I lost days of my life to this. Never having been in a larger body, I was quite frankly offended when my therapist recommended OA. I was an underweight bulimic. I believe God carried me into the rooms. I was in so much pain when I arrived, I didn't care about the physical differences. I was sold on the 10th step promises ("we will be placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected...the problem will be removed") and freedom from fear, the spirituality and honesty that people in recovery had—regardless of their specifics with food and meal plans, regardless of their body shape and size. It took me about a year and a half coming to meetings, still binging and purging (albeit less and less frequently as that year and a half went on), to come to. I finally surrendered to getting a sponsor and a nutritionist. Once I began working the steps (particularly 4-9, the unblocking steps), the obsession lifted, and I received the gift of abstinence (terminology I despised hearing in the rooms until I got it!). That was 19 years ago this April. In OA I've gained 30 pounds. I follow a meal plan that is balanced, nourishing, and pleasurable without including refined sugar. I am not only able to feel my feelings but I'm grateful for them and use them as guides for me to know myself better and to discern God's will for me. From isolation, I now have an abundant circle of support and love inside and outside of the rooms. I'm able to love people in my family of origin who are still sick and to take care of myself while doing so. From a place of being under water in student debt and unable to attend school because of my food addiction, I am financially self-supporting and enjoy the blessing of being able to help others daily in my profession. From not being able to feed myself, I now feed not only myself but three other family members nearly daily. I graduated medical school in recovery, got married in recovery, had a baby and a dog in recovery. I've grieved, laughed, cried all without the need to eat compulsively. Last but certainly not least, I feel great love and great joy in passing this program on to others. The sponsees God has put in my path reaffirm the deep Love HP has for me personally. That's a long way from someone who believed she deserved to be abused, was not worth saving, was somehow defective and would only ever have abandonment in this lifetime. Anonymous

MMeemmbbeerr AArrttiicclleess

What Does Your Recovery Look Like? (cont...) Even though it is often for different reasons, as a recovering bulimic, my abstinence of three meals a day, no seconds, no snacks, resembles that of some of my fellow compulsive overeaters. During times of the month where I used to binge, I am limited to one serving at each meal. During times of the month where I used to restrict, I am forced to one serving at each meal. Knowing that I will be having breakfast—in the morning—keeps me from over-eating at dinner. And knowing that if I skip a meal, I will go into the next one extra hungry, opening the door to over-eating, keeps me on my schedule.

I have been doing this since October 5, 2015. It has kept me enjoying dinners with my family rather than watching them eat while I punished myself. It has kept me delighting in the company of others at larger gatherings, rather than obsessing over what delectable items I would stuff in my face next. It has kept me from spending hours a day on a bike or treadmill or in the swimming pool to balance out everything I put in my mouth the day before. I have now learned to walk every day simply because I enjoy it! And, I have learned to find joy from so many other things that previously had been hijacked by food.

But most of all, OA has helped me to love myself amidst my imperfections. It has shown me that people are like me—even people who I thought I had nothing in common with. I have learned to accept others, my kids included, amidst their imperfections, since I now accept myself. I no longer lash out at them in anger at myself from a previous binge. I can be compassionate and own my decisions, confident that I had a clear line to my HP because I have been abstinent. It really is our weaknesses, not our strengths, that bind us to one another, because I am now humble enough to reach out and take hold of the hand that is reached out to me.

Kimmie

Roving Reporter

Winging It visited a few meetings, asking OA fellows, “HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOUR HIGHER POWER?” You’ll see that “Higher Power” is as unique to each of us as are our food plans!

My Higher Power is abundant, loving, caring, and involved in my life, including being abstinent. My Higher Power is present in my problems and joys. God cares about my food. I can turn over all my problems, feelings and joys. He is with me in prayer and life. - Laura

I call my Higher Power God. God is the only Power. That Power is good and only good. God wants only good for me. - Karen

My Higher Power is unconditional love. - Lauryl

If I could describe my Higher Power, I would be my Higher Power. There are so many powers greater than me. I find power in spirituality. I find spirituality in groups of people in OA; collective wisdom is power far higher than I could come up with. This allows me to be free of dogmatic limitations.- John

A spirit within me that I believe is in everyone. I don’t think about my Higher Power being “up there,” but “in here.” - Mike

My Higher Power is God . . . Father, Son, Holy Spirit . . . Ever present, always good, all knowing, creator, redeemer, refiner, unchanging and LOVE beyond compare. - Cathy

Universe with a capital “U.” - Cindy

My definition of a Higher Power fluctuates depending on where I am mentally and emotionally. - Danielle

Good Orderly Direction “Who are you to say there is no God” (Big Book p. 56). It took five times reading the Chapter “We Agnostics” and the above statement. It changed my life, opening the door to turn over my life to the program and follow the direction of my sponsor and God. - Jackie

He is my Source. - Liz

A force of nature. It whispers like a soft breeze or roars like a hurricane. - Barb

I grew up with a concept of God. But it wasn’t until I came to OA that He became “real.” He became real when He blessed me with the gift of abstinence. - Anonymous

He’s a way out. - Scott

I didn’t have any God in my life when I walked into the OA meeting. As a child I was very spiritual and liked going to church. Later my narrative expanded to include the magic of life through nature and animals. Through my struggles and success, I saw the magic playing out through me. I recognized it in myself because I first saw it working through our fellowship and the recovery available to all of us together in our OA 12 steps & 12 traditions. I recognized there was something bigger than my notion tied into spirit and mystical traditions. My Higher Power is the invisible thread that hold and links everything. - Annie

My sponsor asked me "what would I like my higher power to be and do for me?” My Higher Power, whom I choose to call Gd, does for me what I cannot do for myself. I cannot stop myself from eating too much but Gd can do this for me. I cannot stop myself from reacting too quickly or emotionally to any number of life situations but Gd can help me calm down and process these experiences in the right way. I "act as if" daily. I turn my will and my life over to the care of Gd so that I can be at ease. And when something crops up that puts me in "dis-ease" I can do a tenth step and turn it over to God and go along, be calm and serene, and useful to myself and my fellows.- Faith B.

My Higher Power is the Life Force that animates me, animals, trees, plants, insects, rocks, in short, anything that is alive on this beautiful planet, which also includes me. My Higher Power speaks to me; sometimes directly, as in “Why yes, I will help you with your compulsive overeating, I thought you’d never ask….” to symbolically, as when a hawk flies overhead reminding me that I cannot see or know everything, and there is a larger perspective. My Higher Power is loving and accepting of me and implores me to apply this towards myself. Therefore, I cannot beat myself up if I make a mistake, I must forgive and love myself and try again. My Higher Power brings me a deep knowing that all is right with the world, if I walk in the path of abstinence and trust her. – Pat H. A power greater than myself that directs me down the right path, providing I have the willingness – Carol G. A personal God that gives me peace, comfort, love, guidance and intervenes in every area of my life if I am watching, expecting (with faith) and thankful. – Paula S.

A force that is there when you need him or her. If you leave yourself open for it to guide you. – Steve B.

Featured Meetings

Thursday, 10 a.m. Congregation Beth Shalom Library 3433 Walters Avenue Northbrook, IL 60062

This meeting is full of variety and camaraderie and follows this schedule:

Week 1: AA Big Book Week 2: OA 12&12 Tradition Week 3: Taste of Lifeline Week 4: OA 12&12 Step Week 5: Speaker or Podcast

Volunteers read the Tools (and share on a tool of their choosing). Another reads either For Today or Voices of Recovery.

Friday, 7 p.m. St. Phillip Church 1609 Pfingsten Road Glenview, IL 60025 This meeting is small but mighty. Week 1: OA 12&12 Tradition Remaining Weeks: OA 12&12 Step

Volunteers read Our Invitation to You and the Traditions and a passage from the OA meditation book, For Today

On page 86 we find directions for what we should do upon retiring and awakening each day. The passage begins, “When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.” The passage continues by asking that we take stock of how we have lived during the day. Have we been “resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology?” Have we lived that day only caring for ourselves or have we also been concerned about caring for others in our lives? After taking stock, the directions remind us not to “drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection for that would diminish our usefulness to others.” We then ask God to forgive us and consider what we need to do to right our wrongs. This passage also discusses what we are to do upon awakening. “On awakening let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.” If we cannot reach a clear conclusion to an issue of indecision, we ask God for “inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision.” These passages have been an enormous help to me in reflecting on and guiding my day. They have also led me to a better understanding and relationship with my higher power that I call God. I am Jewish and was raised in that tradition. I attended education at my synagogue from Kindergarten through the end of high school and was an active member of our youth groups. I attended and worked at Jewish overnight camp. I have taught and worked in synagogues with youth on a variety of occasions. As an adult, I have always supported and been involved in a synagogue. All these experiences have been integral to my identity and my life. But sometimes I still struggled with God as a part of my daily life. I have always known that prayer is a part of my tradition, and, have fluctuated from having an active prayer life to one in which God was not a part of my daily picture. I discussed this issue with a variety of individuals, and I read numerous books on this subject. But it was these two paragraphs that helped me rediscover and firm up how God impacts my life. I followed the directions! I began to spend time each night and morning answering the questions in the book and asking God for help and forgiveness. I still prayed using the prayers I have spoken throughout my life, and now I also make sure that I use my own words, meditate and listen for answers. This has helped enormously in my recovery from compulsive overeating. I am abstinent and have developed the neutrality toward food that I had only heard about and wished for. And I have a blueprint for how I live my daily life. I am far from perfect and not always consistent, but I have a plan for which I am grateful, and I have God to help me with continuing recovery. Sue N.

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We of Overeaters Anonymous are blessed with a variety of tools and literature that assist us in recovery from our disease. As recovery is our theme for this Winging It, I have chosen to look at and reflect upon a short but important passage in the AA Big Book.

Following is a small sampling of OA’s many phone and online meetings. For a full list, visit www.OA.org and click on Find A Meeting.

Daily Meetings (all times EST) Phone Number Pin Number Mon – Friday 7:00 am and 10:00 am A Vision for You (AA Big Book)

712-432-5210 876148#

Sun 8:30 –10:00 am A Vision for You Special Edition (AA Big Book)

712-432-5210 876148#

Mon – Sun 9:45 am Pacific Sunrise For Today/Voices of Recovery

712-432-5200 836731#

Specialty Meetings (all times EST) Mon – Sun 8 pm Recovery from Relapse 712-432-5200 4285115# Mon – Sun 9 pm 100 Pounders 712-432-5200 4285115# Thurs 8 pm; Sat 2 pm Anorexia/Bulimia 515-604-9094 950897# Sun 8:30 pm Men 712-770-4160 409092# Online Meetings (all times EST) URL Daily 7 am; 10:30 am; 2:30 pm; 6 pm; 8:15 pm; 10:30 pm; 12;30 am

www.oa12step4coes.org --

Daily 3 am; 6 am; 9 am; 12 pm; 3 pm; 6 pm; 9 pm; 12 am

www.OArecovery.com --

*

Event Title Date Location Milwaukee 40th Annual OA Convention "20/20 Vision"

March 27-29, 2020 Sheraton Milwaukee Brookfield Brookfield, WI

SNI Recovery Event: "What Does Recovery Look Like?"

Saturday, April 4, 2020 Libertyville Civic Center Libertyville, IL

2020 World Service Convention "Sunshine of the Spirit: 60 years Around the Sun!"

August 20-22, 2020 Orlando, FL

RReeaacchh OOuutt!!

SSaavvee tthhee ddaattee

SNI THANKS YOU FOR YOUR GROUP’S CONTRIBUTIONS

SEVENTH TRADITION

OA groups are encouraged to send 7th Tradition contributions to:

SNI (60% of total contribution)

World Service (30% of total contribution)

Region 5 (10% of total contribution)

Contributions can be sent to the following addresses. Thank you.

SUBURBAN NORTH

Intergroup P.O. Box 5934

Buffalo Grove, IL 60089

WORLD SERVICE OFFICE PO Box 44727

Rio Rancho, NM 87174

REGION 5 P.O. Box 1087

Lombard, IL 60148-2375

Note from our Treasurer

Thanks in large part to your contributions, for Calendar Year 2019, SNI donated $3,000.00 to WSO and $2,000.00 to Region 5.

Date Group Day Time Location Donation

10/3/19 56057 Thur 7:00 PM Office Suites - Suite # 102 - 3100 Dundee Rd, Northbrook, IL 60067 $ 95.92

11/2/19 53907 FRI 7:00 PM Saint Philips Church - 1609 Pfingsten Rd, Glenview, IL $ 27.00

11/2/19 50457 Thur 7:00 PM Lieberman Center - HR conf rm, 2nd fl - 9700 Gross Pointe Rd, Skokie, IL $ 180.00

11/2/19 07207 Sat 11:00 AM Saint Giles Episcopal Church - 3025 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL $ 126.00

11/2/19 52394 Sun 4:30 PM Algonquin Township Bldg. - Mtg Rm #1 - 3702 Hwy 14, Crystal Lake, IL $ 265.20

11/2/19 51151 FRI 9:00 AM Holy Trinity Lutheran Church - 3rd fl - 357 Division St, Elgin, IL $ 99.60

11/2/19 07972 Wed 9:30 AM Saint Marcelline - Rm 2 - 820 Springinsguth, Schaumburg, IL $ 240.00

11/2/19 06854 FRI 10:00 AM Saint Benedicts Abbey - 12605 224th Ave, Benet Lake, WI $ 24.00

11/2/19 52377 Wed 7:00 PM Saint Martha School - 8535 Georgiana Ave, Morton Grove, IL $ 150.00

11/2/19 19803 Sat 10:00 AM First Church - 236 W Crystal Lake Ave, Crystal Lake, IL $ 120.00

11/2/19 13044 Sat 2:30 PM NW Community Hospital - Busse Center - 800 W Central Rd, Arlington Heights, IL $ 240.00

12/30/19 22469 Sun 10:00 AM Highland Park Hospital - 718 Glenview, Highland Park, IL $ 190.00

12/30/19 56429 Thur 10:00 AM Congregation Beth Shalom - 3433 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL 60062 $ 171.00

12/30/19 22058 Sun 9:00 AM Skokie Hospital - 9669 Gross Point Rd, Skokie, IL - Rm 1119- Conference room E - $ 50.28

12/30/19 33402 Sat 8:00 AM Saint Lawrence Episcopal Church - 125 Church St, Libertyville, IL $ 65.40

2/16/20 34562 Sat 9:00 AM Saint Matthew's Church - 2120 Lincoln, Evanston, IL $ 709.47

2/16/20 52063 Wed 1:00 PM First Presbyterian Church - 700 North Sheridan Rd., Lake Forest, IL $ 90.00

2/16/20 06854 Fri 10:00 AM Saint Benedicts Abbey - 12605 224th Ave, Benet Lake, WI $ 36.60

2/16/20 52394 Sun 4:30 PM Algonquin Township Bldg. - Mtg Rm #1 - 3702 Hwy 14, Crystal Lake, IL $ 61.00

2/16/20 07207 Sat 11:00 AM Saint Giles Episcopal Church - 3025 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL $ 255.00

2/16/20 51151 Fri 9:00 AM Holy Trinity Lutheran Church - 3rd fl - 357 Division St, Elgin, IL $ 137.40

2/16/20 54010 Mon 10:00 AM Congregation Beth Shalom - 3444 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL $ 120.00

2/16/20 07972 Wed 9:30 AM Saint Marcelline - Rm 2 - 820 Springinsguth, Schaumburg, IL $ 240.00

2/16/20 15457 Mon 7:00 PM Niles Community Church - 7401 W Oakton, Niles, IL $ 197.40

2/16/20 19803 Sat 10:00 AM First Church - 236 W Crystal Lake Ave, Crystal Lake, IL $ 180.00

$ 4071.27

SNI Meeting List Day Mtg# Time Location Contact Contact#

SUN 22058 9:00 AM Skokie Hospital, 9669 Gross Point Rd, Skokie, Room 1119- Conf. room E down the hall Jane C. 773-680-3183

SUN 22469 10:00 AM Highland Park Hospital, 718 Glenview, Highland Park, IL Sarah 847-732-5727

SUN 52394 4:30 PM Algonquin Twp Bldg, 3702 Hwy 14, Crystal Lake< IL (Mtg Room #1) Ruth V. 847-421-7005

SUN 57084 6:30PM Heritage Woods of South Elgin 3rd Fl, Multipurpose Rm. 700 N McLean Blvd, South Elgin, IL

Darlette P.

225-256-4555

MON 54010 10:00 AM Congregation Beth Shalom 3433 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL Faith B. 847-343-0818

MON 53153 10:30 AM ARC (Antioch Recovery Ctr), Unit C, 311 W. Depot St., Antioch, IL Rob W. 847-691-3377

MON 15457 7:00 PM Niles Community Church, 7401 W. Oakton, Niles Jane C. 773-680-3183

MON 04179 6:00 PM

St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 717 W Kirchoff, Ste 100, Arlington Heights, IL Karen M. 847-264-0855

WED 07972 9:30 PM St Marcelline, 820 Springinsguth, Schaumburg, IL (Fragrance Free, Room 2) Carolyn 847-985-4148

WED 46438 10:00 AM St Matthew’s Church, 2120 Lincoln, Evanston, IL Marsha 847-328-6588

WED 52063 1:00 PM First Presbyterian Church, 700 North Sheridan Road, Lake Forest, IL (Parish house) Debbie C.

224-656-3595

WED 35707 7:00 PM Stillwater’s AA Clubhouse, 28144 W. Industrial Drive, Barrington, IL Dee 847-697-9411

WED 52377 7:00 PM St Martha School, 8523 Georgiana, Ave, Morton Grove, IL Cathy O.

773-631-5099

WED 45371 7:30 PM *Kenneth Young Center, 1101 Rohlwing Rd, Elk Grove Village, IL Karen 847-212-0664

THU 56429 10:00 AM Congregation Beth Shalom, 3433 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL Patricia 847-254-9116

THU 56674 5:00 PM Sun Cloud Health, Suite200,40 Skokie Blvd, Skokie, IL Kim 847-908-1504

THU 04723 7:00 PM St Paul Lutheran Church-2nd floor rm.201, 845 North Lewis Ave., Waukegan, IL Dana 847-322-5256

THU 50457 7:00 PM Lieberman Center, 9700 Gross Point Rd., Skokie, IL - 2nd Floor HR Conf Rm, Mary F. 773-401-5567

THU 56057 7:00 PM

*Office Suites, Suite #102, 3100 Dundee Rd, Northbrook, IL Carol G 847-644-5986

FRI 51151 9:00 AM Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, 357 Division St, Elgin, IL Darlette 224-256-4555

FRI 06854 10:00 AM *St. Benedict’s Abbey, 12605 224th Ave, Benet Lake, WI (Antioch Area) Diane R.

847-609-2052

FRI 53097 7:00 PM *St. Phillip Church, 1609 Pfingsten Rd, Glenview, IL Chris R. 847-583-0716

FRI 46082 7:30 PM St Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 31 Park Ave, Grayslake, IL (Rectory) Victoria 224-577-8045

SAT 33402 8:00 AM St. Lawrence Episcopal Church, 125 Church St, Libertyville, IL- Fragrance Free Susan M 847-710-8823

SAT 48032 8:30 AM St Peter’s Parish, 557 W. Lake St, Antioch, IL (Convent) Marion R 847-395-5609

SAT 34562 9:00 AM St Matthew’s Church, 2120 Lincoln, Evanston, IL (4th Sat of month newcomer meeting) Marsha 847-409-7588

SAT 54900 9:00 AM First Church, 236 W Crystal Lake Ave., Crystal Lake, IL. (relapse meeting last Sat. of month)

Ruth 847-421-7005

SAT 19803 10:00 AM First Church, 236 W Crystal Lake Ave., Crystal Lake, IL. Ruth 847-421-7005

SAT 07207 11:00 AM St Giles Episcopal Church, 3025 Walters Ave, Northbrook, IL Penny N.

847-533-7244

SAT 13044 2:30 PM NW Community Hospital - Busse Center 800 W Central Rd., Arlington Heights, IL Carolyn S 847-985-4148

An asterisk (*) indicates that a group needs support

Yellow highlight indicates a recently updated item.

For meeting information or changes, please call the SNI main number: 855-632-6039 The websites www.oa.org and www.region5oa.org also have information about meetings and upcoming

events. If you are looking for an Open Meeting, for information, please call the contact person first before attending the meeting.

As of February 2020, SNI is made up of 30 groups.

SNI Chair Deanna B. 224-639-0899 ddhope12@aol.com SNI Vice Chair (open position) Recording Secretary (open position; acting-Susan M) Corresponding Secretary (open position) Designated Downloader June L. Treasurer Neal M. 847-804-2232 impowerlesstoo@gmail.com

TWELFTH STEP WITHIN COMMITTEE Maureen R. moeresh@scbglobal.net

WINGING IT COMMITTEE Penny N. shinypenny@gmail.com

BYLAWS COMMITTEE Carolyn S.

PUBLIC INFORMATION/ PROFESSIONAL OUTREACH (PI/PO) Tina M.

HELP WANTED – INTERGROUP REPS Every OA meeting needs a representative at the Intergroup level, both to represent the group and to learn and gather information to bring back to the group. Job Requirements: Attend one meeting monthly—face-to-face or virtually. (An alternative Rep can attend when you’re unable.) Compensation: It’s up to you! Pay is in program currency: Recovery! Benefits Package: Unlimited!! This service opportunity offers you continued learning about how OA operates at the above meeting levels to support the meetings and, most importantly, to support the work of fulfilling our primary purpose: to carry the message to the compulsive eater who still suffers. Every OA member is welcome to attend Intergroup meetings as a visitor. Come to a meeting; check it out!