2012-2013PEER FACILITATORS

PEER CAMPTRAINING

PEER BUDDIES!!! Amy Rosenzweig + Dave McCann Kelly McCullough + Farid Zeineddine Kylie Bongaardt + Jack Schott Miranda Davis + Sara Sadoff Brooke Bayliss + Kevin McClain Anna Berger + Sam McCarthy Zach Young + Corey Falls Nick Giaquinto + Julia Finio Mary Reardon + Chris Chan Amy Chan + Emily Santana

PEER Buddies cont. Hannah Feehery + Christina Orlando Sal Fox + Leah Welde Jessly Joseph + Katrina Waywood Lindsay Kern + Martina Ciangalini Bruce MacKnight + Taylor Cutcliff Jason Marchetti + Christina Kelly Christina Neroni + Rachel Kilker Tyler Demcher + Jess Pearse Jaclyn Digregorio + Allie Brown + John

Belfie Mr. Schmidt + Mr. McCann + Mrs. McCann

COUGAR CAUTIONS

Stay with the group; no wandering alone (or in pairs.) Take care of yourself, your belongings and your mess.

Push yourself to grow but right to pass Take care of each other

Be respectful, listen Include everybody Avoid cliques Avoid put downs

Speak for yourself only, using “I” Keep confidentiality agreement No purpling ;)

The 4 C’s to FEELING POWERFUL!

CONNECT: I believe I belongCAPABLE: I believe I can do itCOUNT: I believe I matterCOURAGE: I believe I can handle

what comes

What do the 4 C’s look like?If I have the 4 Crucial C’s…

If I don’t have the 4 Crucial C’s…

I feel secure. I can reach out, make friends, I cooperate

CONNECT: I believe I belong

I feel insecure, isolated, I’m more susceptible to peer pressure; I seek attention

I feel competent. I have self-control and self-discipline. I assume responsibility. I am self-reliant

CAPABLE: I believe I can do it

I feel inadequate. I try to control others or prove “you can’t make me.” I become dependent. I seek power.

I feel valuable. I can make a difference. I contribute

COUNT: I believe I matter

I feel insignificant. I may try to hurt myself or others. I may seek revenge.

I feel hopeful. I am willing to try. I am resilient.

COURAGE: I believe I can handle what

comes

I feel inferior. I may give up. I use avoidance.

REFLECTION TIME – 4 C’s What keeps you from feeling connected … (I don’t belong)

In your family? With your friends? In school?

What keeps you from feeling capable… (I can’t do it) In your family? With your friends? In school?

What keeps you from feeling that you count … (I don’t matter) In your family? With your friends? In school?

What keeps you from feeling courageous… (I can’t do this) In your family? With your friends? In school?

REFLECTION TIME – 4 C’s What helps you feel connected … (I belong)

In your family? With your friends? In school?

What helps you feel capable… (I can do it) In your family? With your friends? In school?

What helps you feel that you count … (I matter) In your family? With your friends? In school?

What helps you feel courageous… (I can do this) In your family? With your friends? In school?

ACTIVE LISTENING

Square upOpenLean inEye contactRelax

SOLER

Square up – the American culture usually recognizes facing someone as a sign of respect and involvement. It typically communicates: “I’m comfortable with you. I am available to talk or listen. I’m interested.”

Open posture – crossed arms or legs or closed body language tends to be interpreted as uncomfortable or uninvolved. Open posture indicates interest and comfort.

SOLER continued Lean in – when two people are interested in a

conversation, they often lean in. Within reason, it generally conveys interest and involvement.

Eye contact – In American culture, when people are interested and comfortable with one another they usually look each other in the eyes (not staring but significant contact.)

Relax – fidgeting, tapping, playing with hair or clothes can be distracting. Excessive tenseness and a rigid posture can prevent you from communicating effectively, verbally or non-verbally.

INEFFECTIVE LISTENING RESPONSES or COMMUNICATION

BLOCKERS When communicating, we need to keep the lines

open and avoid restricting or “blocking” communication.

AVOID these things:

Yes/No questions or answersNot using SOLERInstructing/advisingSarcasmNot being confidential

InterruptingStereotypingJudgingAttacking/put-downsDominating

EFFECTIVE LISTENINGRESPONSES

To keep communication flowing, try these things: Invitations to talk Non-committal responses Paraphrasing Focus on feeling Pointing out non-verbals Silence

EFFECTIVE LISTENING RESPONSES continued

Examples of CLOSED and OPEN responses:

SPEAKER STATEMENT

CLOSED RESPONSE OPEN RESPONSE

“I hate him! I’m never going to talk to him again!”

“Just forget it. He’s not worth your time.”

“You’re really angry with him!”

“I can’t do this!” “Don’t say that.” “It seems very difficult to you.”

“I’m not going back to class with that teacher.”

“You have to or you’ll get in trouble for cutting.”

“You don’t feel comfortable with your teacher.”

Media Outreach

Text/Facebook Chat/Email Inflection? Seriousness? Making Face-to-Face Meeting

THE THREE-STEP HELPING MODEL

Step 1: Understanding We first have to understand the point of view of

the speaker. ATTEND LISTEN UNDERSTAND REFLECT

THE THREE-STEP HELPING MODEL

Step 2 – GOALS What is the goal? What are they doing and is it working? What does the speaker say to him/herself?

THE THREE-STEP HELPING MODEL

Step 3 – Action The peer counselor and speaker have worked

together to develop a goal and see a need for action. Alternatives Resources Action commitment

UGA, UGA, UGA!!!

UnderstandingGoal-settingAction

WHEN DO I REFER? THREATS OF SUICIDE REPORTS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THREATS AGAINST OTHERS THE PERSON IS IN DANGER (from self or

others) Physical, emotional, sexual abuse Neglect Dangerous decisions/situations (Ex. Riding in a

car with a drunk driver) ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE OTHER

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER I REFER?

Mr. M and/or Mr. S inform guidance counselors on the situation and they will meet with the person and determine the next best step to get them any help they might need. Parent involvement STAT referral Individual or group counseling Partial hospitalization/outpatient treatment Inpatient treatment Other

We may meet with you to de-brief, answer any questions we can and make sure you are okay.

You may or may not continue to meet with the person depending the severity of the issue and the comfort level of all involved.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE TOUGH STUFF…

Suicidal thoughts/threats/attempts: Look for people who seem

HAPLESS (don’t care about anything) HOPELESS (not optimistic about it improving) HELPLESS (don’t feel that they can do anything)

Look for Changes in personality (withdrawal, aggression,

moodiness) Depression (changes in normal

appetite/sleep/grades)

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE TOUGH STUFF…

Suicidal thoughts/threats/attempts: Listen for

Giving away of possessions Talk about death or suicide Talk about not being here anymore Talk about others being better off without him/her Self-destructive behavior Previous attempts Evidence of a plan (When? Where? How?) The means to complete the plan

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE TOUGH STUFF…

Adolescent Depression Risk Factors for depression –

Singled out/bullied Stress in general Little or no connection to peers Little or no connection to staff/teachers Relationship issues (family, friends, dating) Victim of emotional/physical/sexual abuse Grades/athletic pressures Future/college stress PEER pressure Chemical imbalance Media influence

HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE TOUGH STUFF…

Adolescent Depression Look/listen for

Changes in normal appetite or eating behaviors (eating less, eating more, binging)

Changes in sleeping habits (sleeping more, at odd times, not sleeping, unable to fall asleep or stay asleep)

Changes in school performance (drop in grades, not caring about work)

Changes in appearance (looking tired, sad, angry, not taking care of oneself – eating, showering, clothing)

Exaggerated responses to stress or other events

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

What kinds of conflicts do you see around you every day?

What kinds of conflicts are you dealing with?

How do you see your role in helping students resolve conflicts peacefully?

What are you comfortable doing to help?

CONFLICT RESOLUTION STEP 1: GROUND RULES

Ask each person to:

1. Work to solve the problem

2. Listen without interrupting

3. Treat each other with respect. No name-calling. No put-downs.

4. Be as honest as they can be.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION STEP 2 – T.A.L.K.

Tell your story Ask for what you need Look for all possible solutions Keep what works for both

CONFLICT RESOLUTION Checklist for a good resolution

DOABLE? Can both people really do what they promise?

Who? Where? When? How?

DUAL? Do both people do something and take responsibility

for making the solution work? DURABLE?

Will the solution really solve the problem? Does it meet their identified needs?

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

WRAP-UP Ask each person:

1. What will you do differently if this happens again? 2. Is this problem solved? 3. Will you tell your friends that the problem has been

solved? (reminder about confidentiality

Forms

The Face of PEERS

You are expected to be leaders among your peers regarding the social climate of the school (bullying, teasing, destructive decisions, respect, responsibility)

You are expected to lead by example and also by the choices you make but…

You are NOT expected to break up a fight or put yourself in a dangerous situation to help others. Let adults help!

PEER CAMP 2012

You have been selected to be PEERs for a GOOD REASON!

Be leaders in the building Put what you have learned to good use for

yourself and for others Be supportive of your peers by what you say,

don’t say, do and choose not to do Use your instincts for good communication You can help change the climate of SHS,

one person, one conflict at a time!

2012-2013 Peer PledgeI solemnly pledge to the following, in order to best represent myself as a responsible student of Springfield High School, and a contributing member of the PEER Facilitators:

• To keep regular attendance at weekly Monday meetings during Advisory in the LMC. Failure to do so without excuse and notice will result in a warning. Another unexcused absence will result in a probation period from PEERs. Every Peer is granted a clean slate of warnings at the start of a new semester.

• To constantly look out for those in need, and do my part to listen, support, or help them. Whether they are being bullied, dealing with stressful home issues, struggling in school, or even just sitting alone at lunch, I promise to put myself out there and offer myself as a Peer.

• To represent myself and the group in a responsible and lawful way. Disrespectful, irresponsible, or unlawful behavior not only reflects negatively on myself, but makes the group as a whole less credible, and hurts my fellow Peers.

• To be mindful and responsible of the nature of any media I put on the internet in any form. This pertains to pictures, video or text that presents myself in a way as described above.

2012-2013 Peer Pledge (cont.)

To uphold confidentiality, with my fellow Peers or someone in need, as breaking confidentiality is a betrayal of the trust I need to help others.

To ALWAYS refer to an adult whenever I feel that someone's life is in danger. I realize that there are no exceptions to this, and that the care of those who are suicidal, using drugs or alcohol, being threatened by others, or threatening themselves, is above my training, and should not be handled by myself, but by an adult.

To continue to support the group and its members in whatever they do. This includes attendance at events, contributing when asked, and doing my part to make the school a better place.

By making these pledges, I acknowledge that I am a leader and role model in this school. I know that I have the power to help others, and truly make Springfield High School a safer and happier place.