2 april 2015 – 10 january 2016 - the dugdale centre married... · 6th may 1960. courtesy of ian...

enfieldmuseum servicemuseum service

www.enfield.gov.ukwww.enfield.gov.uk/museum

150 years of Enfield Weddings

2 April 2015 –

10 January 2016

Enfield Museum

presents a FREE

exhibition celebrating

the wedding traditions

of the people

of Enfield.

www.enfield.gov.uk/museum

Marriage is dramatic and life-changing event. It is the time

when a couple show their commitment to each other and

promise to spend the rest of their life together. As one of the

most important moments in a person’s life, marriage is marked

by special ceremonies, guiding them from one stage of life to the

next. Whether it is a Church service at All Saints,

Edmonton, a Hindu Vivaah Sanskar or a short civil

ceremony at the registry ofice on Gentleman’s Row, a wedding is always a special celebration.

Each faith, culture and even family can have its

own wedding customs, many of which date from

ancient times. For many, the occasion provides a

unique opportunity to express and celebrate their

own identities, values and beliefs. As new immigrant

communities have moved to Britain, weddings have

provided an occasion where ethnic traditions can play a

leading role.

However, over the years certain western traditions, such

as the dominance of the white dress, have become more

widespread. This relects the increasingly globalised and secular nature of our society, in addition to the

increased role of the couple in arranging and inancing the wedding.

This exhibition is to celebrate the weddings of the

people of Enield - from the traditional to the not so traditional. It explores how society has changed over

time through the changes in wedding practices. It

will also show how weddings can provide a glimpse into

the rich variety of cultures living in the borough.

Acknowledgements

This exhibition was researched and curated by

Enield Museum Service: Jan Metcalfe, Rebecca Odell and Justine Stracy. With support from John Clark, Kate Godfrey, Christine Noone and Annette Sparrowhawk in Enield Local Studies Library and Archives.

This exhibition could not have happened without

the kindness and generosity of organisations and local individuals who have loaned us their artefacts,

documents and photographs and given us an insight

into the subject.

They are:

Sugar Ahmed, Mrs C Ball, Mark Bailey, Barbara & Roy Barker, Rachel Barratt, Steve Brown, Hayley Byield, Kevin Clark, Andrea Cooper, Chief Executives Ofice, Allison Duggal, Maggie Fitzgerald, Graham Frost, Barrie Gabbott, Qiu and Robin Groen, Kushi Haria, Laura & Martin Ifeancho, Usman Irshed, Ian Jones, Helen & Stan Kiddle, Rathika & Awnesh, Stephanie & Bob Milverton, Nazia & Charlie, Gemma & Michael Panayi, Sue Patel, Stephen Pollock, John Stanford, Bruce Stracy, Diana Stracy, Pam Tuttiett, Lorraine Walker, Emma Watson-Horsewood & Paul Horsewood, Chris Whippe, Esther Willett & Chris Daniels, Chris & Gavin Williams, Big Day Weddings, Colours Photo & Film, Ed Pereira, Jones & Jones, Mia Sposa Bridal & Menswear Cockfosters, Truly Photography by Karthika.

Images top to bottom

1. TheweddingpartyofGertrudeJanuaryandPercyHitchwhoweremarriedatStJames churchEnieldHighwayin1901.Itisinterestingtonotetheblanketandhouseplantsthathavebeenbroughtouttobeautify thebackyard.EnieldLocalStudies&Archive

2. FrankandRoseReardonwhoweremarriedinApril1949atEdmontonRegisterofice.CourtesyofLorraineWalker3. AcouplewieldingLightSabersontheHelipadattheRoyalChaceHotel,Enield.CopyrightBigDayWeddings4. CharlieandNaziasigningoficialpapersduringtheirweddingatFortyHall,2014.CopyrightEdPereira


Images left to right

1. The1920sweddingofSarahButcher.Thecouplehaveaguardofhonourmadeupoflocaliremen.EnieldMuseum.2. CongratulationscardsenttoFlorrieandGeorgeGentleontheoccasionoftheirmarriageatStPeter’sChurch,EdmontoninJuly1938.EnieldMuseum

Reg. No. Be495

3. AstreetpartyinMonasteryGardens,EnieldTownon29thJuly1981,whereresidentscelebratedthemarriageofPrinceCharlesandLadyDianaSpencer.EnieldMuseum.

4. PaulandEmmahiredaLondonbustotransportthemselvesandtheirweddingguestsfromEnieldregisteroficetoWhitewebbsHouseforareceptionaftertheirweddinginNovember2014.CopyrightRickKing

5. RathikaandAwneshposeononeofthebridgesovertheNewRiveraftertheircivilweddingceremonyatEnieldregisteroficeonGentleman’sRow.ThesecastironbridgesappearintheweddingalbumsofmanycoupleswhogetmarriedinEnieldTown.CopyrightTrulyPhotographybyKarthika

6. ElliotandLucy,bridesmaidandpageboyatStanandHelenKiddle’s1984wedding,posebythevintageweddingcar.CourtesyofStanKiddle.7. Thetwo-tierweddingcakebakedfortheweddingofElsieRedingtonandDouglasMaiseyon1stSeptember1935.Itistoppedbyacherubandlower

archdecorationthatcanbeseenelsewhereinthisexhibition.EnieldMuseumRegNo.2006.15.68. Adisplayofweddinggiftsfromthe1930s.Adisplaylikethiswasatraditionalpartof20thCenturyweddingsandallowedgueststoseethepresentsthe

couplehadreceived.EnieldMuseum.9. MarkandIrisBaileysigntheregisteraftertheirweddingceremonyatStStephen’schurch,BushHillParkinJune1963.CourtesyofMarkBailey.10.LocalbusinessmanVinceCampbellaccompanieshisdaughtertothechurchonherweddingday.CourtesyofVinceCampbell.


Who you choose to wed is important, and not

just for yourself. Society has always tried to

control who marries, whether by laws, religion, or

social disapproval.

Britain has a long history of inter-ethnic marriage with no laws against intermarriage. However, mixed marriages have not always been easily accepted by society. This has been relected in the media frenzies surrounding some interracial weddings in the past, for example that of Nellie Adkins of Edmonton and the celebrity racing tipster ‘Rass Prince Monolulu’ in 1931. Similar scenes greeted the marriage of Stephen Pollock, son and heir to the Viscount Hanworth, to Rhodesian born Elizabeth Vambe at Edmonton Town Hall in 1968, giving Britain its irst African Peeress. Today almost one in 10 people in Britain are either married to or living with someone from a different ethnic group.

Religions can discourage or even ban followers from marrying outside their faith, as is the case for practicing Jews or Muslim women. Despite this the number of interfaith couples is rising. This can impact on the type of wedding used to celebrate the marriage. Certain rituals, such as the Sikh marriage ceremony of Anand Karaj, requires that the couple are both of that faith. It can also limit where you can wed, as UK law only allows weddings in a synagogue if both partners are Jewish. In many cases, religious weddings are at the discretion of the minister. For this reason, many choose to have a civil wedding, perhaps followed by a blessing ceremony.

Similar restrictions can face those getting remarried. With the rate of divorce increasing since the 1970s, around 40% of all weddings in the UK are second or subsequent marriages. Since 1981 the Church of England has allowed religious wedding ceremonies for those marrying again after a divorce. Other faiths differ on whether this is permitted.

In 2004 the Civil Partnership Act was passed and came into effect in December 2005. It created civil partnerships, which gave same-sex couples who entered into them the same rights and responsibilities of marriage. Since then, more than 200 couples have formed a civil partnership in Enield, many celebrating with wedding ceremonies. Last year saw the legalisation of same-sex marriages, with the irst same-sex weddings taking place on 29 March 2014.

The age at which people irst marry has been increasing. In 1952 the average age of the bride was 21, now this has risen to 36 and 34 for men and women respectively. Having not lived together before your wedding is now as unusual as premarital cohabitation was in the 1970s.

Images from top to bottom

1. Advert for a personal ad service during the First World

War. Tottenham and Edmonton Herald, 11 December

1914.

2. Barrie Gabbott and Coskun Ahmet at their Civil

Partnership Ceremony. Enield Registry Ofice 2007. Courtesy of Barrie Gabbott.

3. Wedding of Stephen Pollock & Elizabeth Vambe.

Edmonton Town Hall 1968. Courtesy of Stephen Pollock.

4. Emma Watson-Horsewood & Paul Horsewood with

their daughter at their wedding. Enield Registry Ofice 2014. Courtesy of Emma Watson-Horsewood.

Weddings?


“Princes take as is brought them by others, while poor men be commonly at their own choice’’ King Henry VIII

All the world loves a royal wedding and on 29th April 2011, millions of people in over 180 countries celebrated as Prince William married Catherine Middleton, the lady he loved.

Unlike the vast majority of his royal ancestors William had chosen ‘Kate’ himself and had time to get to know her before committing to marriage. He did not have to defy her family or ight a war before he led her to the altar. Nor did she have to make a long, lonely journey to a foreign land or hide in a cupboard on her wedding night as one terriied Princess did. Even so, this most modern of royal weddings still took place in a historical context, informed by the traditions of 1000 years of monarchy.

Rarely in past centuries has royalty been associated with romance. Until comparatively recently, most royal marriages were the result of treaties and alliances, arranged for political or dynastic reasons. Love was rarely a consideration. They were made to beneit kingdoms by ensuring the succession and forging alliances that averted war.

Because so much was at stake, it was rare for young people to be consulted on the partners chosen for them by their elders. Future queens were selected for their family background, wealth and virtue. Some royal couples did come to love each other, but many were hopelessly mismatched and simply had to make the best of it.

The concept of a public royal wedding is an ancient one although until recently, all the public could expect to see was the bridal procession. Only with the introduction of newsreels and TV in the 20th Century were people able to witness the ceremony itself. It was for the 1947 wedding of The Queen and Prince Phillip at Westminster Abbey that cameras were allowed into the Abbey for the irst time. In 1981 the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer was watched on TV by 750 million people around the world and a further 600,000 lined the route to St Paul’s Cathedral.

Images (top to bottom)

1. Engraving showing the wedding of Queen Victoria

and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha on 10th

February 1840. Enield Museum.2. The oficial souvenir programme for the wedding of

Princess Margaret and Anthony Armstrong-Jones on 6th May 1960. Courtesy of Ian Jones.

3. The Queen and Prince Philip pose for oficial photographs after their wedding on 20th November

1947. Courtesy of Ian Jones.4. Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer ride in a carriage

to Buckingham Palace after their wedding at St Paul’s

Cathedral on 29th July 1981. Courtesy of Ian Jones.


Not all marriages have been for love and

not all weddings have had brides in white

dresses. Many marriages especially in the

Victorian era were arranged to cement the

family’s position in society, convenience or

of necessity. It was not unusual for the bride

to wear her best dress and not one made for

the occasion. A classic example of a Victorian

wedding is seen in Enield’s most notable marriage, even though it happened in 1914...

On the 10th February, Thomas Hardy one of Britain’s

most famous novelists and poets, author of such titles as

Tess of the d’Urbervilles and Far From the Madding Crowd, was married at St Andrew’s church in the heart of Enield. Hardy married Florence Emily Dugdale, the quiet and fragile daughter

of the headmaster of St Andrew’s National School in Enield Town. This was Hardy’s second marriage and Florence aged 35 was 39

years his junior. She had been his secretary and had even looked after his irst wife.

The wedding took place at 8am and apart from the couple themselves there was only the father of the bride, her elder sister

Marjorie Dugdale and Hardy’s brother Henry in attendance. For the wedding of such a famous writer it was an extremely quiet

and private affair. Hardy ruled that “on account of the press people”, not even relatives were to be told. He later wrote of his success at avoiding the newspapers and onlookers “we were well out of it”.

Florence had written of her own romantic ideas about weddings

and marriage and this ceremony certainly could not have lived up

to her expectations. It was reported later by the Enield Gazette and Observer, “the bride wore a dark travelling suit for her wedding”. She herself complained to a friend, describing her outit, “there never was a more unbridal dress and hat than mine, both atrociously ugly”.

After the ceremony, the wedding party moved on to Florence’s

father’s home at 5 River Front for the wedding breakfast. Hardy was so preoccupied with avoiding any unnecessary attention to their

wedding that when this was over, they took a short walk across the road to Enield Town Station and were underway to Hardy’s Dorset home before anyone realised that the ceremony had taken place. There was not even a photograph or honey moon, to celebrate the

joining of the couple.


1. Florence Dugdale on the beach at Aldeburgh 1915. Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Yale University.

2. StAndrewsChurch,EnieldTown1911.EnieldLocalStudies & Archives

3. 5 River Front, the home of the Dugdale family with the Dugdaledaughtersoutside.EnieldLocalStudies&Archives

4. Florence and Thomas Hardy, with Wessex the dog at Max Gate their Dorset home. Courtesy of Dorset County Museum

A VeryVictorian

Affair


For any potential bride or groom, there are

many things that have to be done before the

big day. The irst step may be the need to ind a partner. In some cultures, this has historically

been done by the family or a professional

matchmaker, however in more recent times

people like to choose their own. Potential

partners can be found in the lonely hearts

columns, speed dating, singles weekends, various

dating clubs and on the internet. Some religious

groups even run introduction services for their

congregation, such as the Muslim Community and

Education Centre in Palmers Green.

When the perfect partner has been found and the proposal accepted, the next step is the engagement ring. This is sometimes produced at the time of the marriage proposal and may be a family heirloom or previously chosen by the groom or afterwards, together. Jewellers have encouraged the cost of the engagement ring to be equivalent to one month’s wages but in today’s economic conditions this has been reduced. Within the Greek tradition the bride and groom both have engagement rings; these are tied together and blessed by the priest before being worn by the happy couple.

After the private agreement to get married, there may be a public announcement in the form of an engagement party. These are generally informal gatherings of family and friends to share in the happy occasion, although these too can be large and lavish affairs with many guests. In the mid-20th Century it was the custom to publish your engagement in the newspaper.

The last parties most couples have before their weddings are the ‘stag’ and ‘hen’ nights. Sources suggest that the very irst stag party was actually held in the 5th Century in Sparta, where a pre-marriage feast was held to honor the groom-to-be. Hen celebrations may have their roots in the mehndi parties of North Africa, the Middle East and Asia, as the phrase is believed to come from the bride’s decoration of henna to the hands and feet, which is a wedding custom in all these cultures. Modern stag and hen ‘do’s’ can be a costly affairs, with weekends away, go karting, restaurants and club or pub crawls, resulting in high spirits and sometimes outrageous behavior. If the happy couple has managed to negotiate all these steps towards marriage, then there is only the happy day to complete their union and start the rest of their life together.


1. Engagement ring receipt from Bravingtons Ltd 1962.

Courtesy of Mark Bailey

2. Engagement announcements in the Palmers Green

and Southgate Gazette 1955. Enield Local Studies & Archives

3. Engagement party of Jinal and Bhavik 2013. Copyright

Colours Photo and Film

4. Clare’s hen night. Courtesy of Rachel Barrett


I wore a white satin dress with a deep lounce of Honiton lace, an imitation of an old design, and my jewels were my Turkish diamond necklace and earrings and dear Albert s beautiful sapphire brooch. Entry in Queen Victoria’s diary, 1840

In the 18th Century most brides simply wore their best dress

but wealthy women, who could afford servants to keep them

clean, chose to wear white silk dresses for their weddings.

Other colours and patterned silks were also popular for

brides and at the highest level of society, silver was the most

prestigious and fashionable bridal colour. However, white

became the colour of choice after the 10th February 1840

when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert.

Victoria wore a creamy white court dress of Spitalields silk embellished with Honiton lace. Her white satin train

was bordered with sprays of orange blossom, and she

wore a wreath of orange-blossom on her head with a lace

veil pinned to the back. Details of the Queen’s appearance was

spread around the country in newspaper reports and re-inforced

the idea that a wedding dress should be white and worn with a

veil and orange blossom. Symbolic of purity and romantic love,

it made white wedding dresses desirable at all levels of society.

For brides who could afford it and were marrying for the irst time, white dresses became the norm.

In the 19th and early 20th Centuries white wedding dresses

were mostly worn by well-to-do women in Europe and the USA.

Today, white is worn by brides of many faiths across the world.

In Christian communities the religious association of white

wedding dresses is still important but for women of other faiths

the dress is a symbol of wealth and modernity.

For a western bride a colour such as red would be

a daring choice for a wedding dress. But in many

non-Western cultures it is a traditional colour for

wedding garments. It is often worn by Hindu and

Muslim brides and also by Chinese and Vietnamese

brides for whom it represents good luck.

Until the 20th Century, most wedding dresses

were worn again after the wedding day for special

occasions and often adapted and altered to prolong

their life. In spite of this, some garments become

family heirlooms and are passed down several

generations. This includes all the white wedding

dresses seen in this exhibition and now in the care of

Enield Museum. Images top to bottom

1. Portrait of Queen Victoria by Winterhalter painted in

1847 as an anniversary present for Prince Albert. She

is portrayed in the Spitalields silk gown, Honiton lace veil and orange-blossom wreath worn at their wedding seven years earlier.

2. Barbara Barker on her wedding day in 1959 outside Christ Church, Southgate in the gown she made from the paper pattern that can be seen elsewhere in this exhibition. Courtesy of Barbara Barker.

3. Qiu and Robin Groen after their wedding at Enield register ofice in September 2010. Qiu, who is from Tianjin in China, wears a red dress to symbolise good fortune. At their wedding in China Qiu wore a white Western-style dress. Courtesy Robin Groen.

4. The Stutield family at the wedding of their daughter in 1913. The bride’s dress is now in the Museum collection and can been seen in this exhibition. Enield Museum B1479.


At most weddings, the fashion focus remains on the

bride from start to inish. The dresses of the bridesmaids may get some glances but men in suits are not generally

noteworthy, especially when all the suits in the wedding

party (groom, best man & ushers) tend to be identical.

During medieval times grooms, also known as bride-knights wore

a scarf, a token ribbon or a pennant (lag) bearing the crest of the bride, as a symbol of their marriage. More recently,

military, civil and association uniforms have also been worn.

The most enduring of western grooms’ outits has been the morning suit. It is believed to have been inluenced by British naval oficers jackets from the 1740’s but were more likely a variation on the riding jacket, which was worn whilst riding for morning exercise. During the 19th Century the morning

coat with tails was not considered formal wear but gained

in popularity and became the chosen garment for all formal

occasions. To go with the jacket a matching waistcoat was worn, with grey striped trousers below. Today’s grooms may prefer to

wear a loral or coloured waistcoat relecting either his own taste or to coordinate with the wedding colour theme. The Mia

Sposa bridal shop in Cockfosters reports that 75-80% of their grooms are still hiring morning suits for weddings.

For Asian weddings the groom may wear a Sherwani,

a longish jacket with a Nehru (stand up) collar, this is often decorated with metal thread making a pattern

in the cloth and beading around the edges of the

jacket, collar and cuffs. Sherwani’s are generally worn

with plain trousers. Sikh grooms wear a similar outit but also have an elaborate red or pink turban (Dastar),

a sword (Kirpin) and coloured scarf (Pulla).

If suits are not your thing, there are now shops

advertising wedding dresses for men. Fitting here can

be an issue and recommendations may include the

empire waistline (more forgiving for large stomachs), dresses with sleeves and higher neck lines. All of which proves that

there really is something for everyone when men go to choose their

wedding outits.


1. Charlie and Peg’s wedding day 1942. Charlie is in

his army uniform and Peg is wearing a re-cut suit of

Charlie’s as her wedding outit. Courtesy of Mrs C. Ball2. Bruce and Cathy at Enield Register Ofice 1986. Courtesy

of Bruce Stracy3. Charlie and Nazia’s wedding at Forty Hall and Estate 2014.

Charlie is wearing cultural dress while the groomsmen are

in a variety of blue suits. Copyright Ed Periera4. Martin Ifeancho at his cultural wedding in Nigeria 2012.

Copyright Reel Life Photos


Have you ever wondered why we throw confetti,

have bridesmaids or give favours to our guests?

Virtually every part of a wedding from the

engagement to the honeymoon has a rich history

and involves traditional elements stretching back over

many years.

The well-known saying ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in my shoe’ informs what the bride wears. Something old, such as a family heirloom, represents the link to the bride’s past and something new, usually the wedding gown itself, refers to the bride’s future life. Something borrowed, such as jewellery or a handkerchief, is to remind the bride that her family and friends are there to help her. Something blue dates back to medieval times when blue was the colour of purity and is often represented by the bride’s garter. The last, largely forgotten, part of the rhyme is to wish the bride wealth.

Much of the traditional Western wedding ceremony is based on ancient customs, when marriages were arranged. As you reach the side of your groom you stand on his left so that his right ‘sword arm’ is free to defend you and his ‘best man’ is there to help guard the bride during the ceremony in case of kidnap attempts.

The tradition of having bridesmaids began in Roman times when brides had 10 witnesses dressed identically to them to act as decoys to evil spirits trying to harm them. Even as late as the 19th Century, they can be seen dressed identically to the bride in wedding photographs. Roman brides also wore brightly coloured veils to ward off evil spirits, although we have the Victorians to thank for long white veils as a symbol of modesty.

Confetti is an Italian word used for a type of sugared almond tossed in the air for special occasions. Throwing rice over newlyweds was seen as a symbol of fertility and it was the Victorians who irst used shredded paper. Sugared almonds also appear as part of the trend for giving ‘favours’. This started in 16th Century Europe when the nobility handed out cubes of expensive sugar and later, almonds, to guests. Now most brides leave a favour at each place setting for guests to take home.


1. Several traditions can be observed in this photograph of Esther and Chris’s wedding at St Andrew’s church, Enield in August 2014. Esther stands on the left of the groom, the best man on his right. Her father has given her away and she is attended by 4 identically dressed bridesmaids. Courtesy of George and Nina Photography wwwgeorgeandninaphotography.co.uk

2. Iris and Mark Bailey receive a lucky mascot in the form of 2 black cats from their bridesmaid, Janice after their wedding at St Stephen’s church, Bush Hill Park on 15th June 1963. Courtesy of Mark Bailey.

3. Mihir adjusts Ridhima’s veil after their civil ceremony at Forty Hall, Enield 2012. Copyright Colours Photo and Film.

4. Guests throw rose petal confetti over Rathika and Awnesh after their wedding at Enield register ofice 2010. Copyright Truly Photography by Karthika.

You need very little to marry or have a civil partnership.

You are required to give advance notice of the wedding

date and exchange some formal words including a

declaration to take the other person as your wife

or husband. The ceremony must take place with an

authorised person or registrar and two people to

act as witnesses, all who must sign the marriage

register with the couple.

Everything else in a wedding is a result of social tradition,

religious practice, family expectations and personal choice.

Over time, our wedding ceremonies have changed

dramatically. One transformation has been the location.

Historically, if you wanted to get married in Britain you had

two choices: your local church or register ofice, with most people choosing the former. This caused a problem for those

who wanted to celebrate their marriage with people of

different beliefs. In order not to force guests to attend a place

of worship not of their own religion, families began hosting

bridal breakfasts – the origin of today’s wedding

reception.

Everything changed with the passing of the

Marriage Act (1994). This allowed couples to marry

at a wide range of licensed venues, including zoos

and football stadiums. Local locations such as Forty

Hall & Estate, Royal Chace Hotel and Bush Hill Golf

Park have become popular destinations. In Britain,

a religious setting for a wedding is now the choice

of a minority.

Despite this, faith and religious ritual are still

fundamental to many weddings. It can also

account for many of the biggest differences

between wedding ceremonies. For example,

the Nikah ceremony is relatively brief, with a

description of the Islamic moral code the couple

are expected to follow and a public declaration

to marry. In contrast, the Hindu Vivaah Sanskar

ceremony can often take several hours to complete,

with the performance of a number of different

sacraments to ensure good luck for the couple in

their married life.



1. Rathika and Awnesh signing the register. Enield Registry Ofice, Gentlemans Row 2010. Copyright Truly Photography by Karthika.

2. Guest stand for bride Doreen Hill as she walks down the aisle to the altar. The United Reformed Church, Fox

Lane 1953. Enield Museum.3. Charlie & Nazia at their Nikah wedding ceremony. Forty

Hall & Estate. Copyright Ed Periera.4. Ridhima touches seven betel nuts with her right toe

as part of a Gujarati Wedding 2012. Copyright Colours Photo & Film.


Weddings differ hugely depending on ethnic,

religious and national identities. Despite

this, similar rituals and symbols are found in

ceremonies across cultures.

An exchange of jewellery or personal ornaments is often a focal point in the celebrations. For example, in Hinduism the couple place lower garlands on one another to show they are happy to proceed with the ceremony, and tie each other’s wrists with sacred thread as a promise to stay together for

the rest of their lives.

The most widely seen example of this is the use of wedding rings. Historically these were given to the bride as part an economic contract with her husband guaranteeing her inancial security. With the move towards love-based marriages, rings have come to be seen as symbols of commitment. From the mid-20th Century men began wearing rings, particularly during the Second World War when soldiers serving abroad wanted a connection to their wives. Now both the bride and groom exchange rings. Traditionally in the Eastern Orthodox Church these rings are blessed and given at a separate betrothal ritual, but this increasingly has become the irst part of the wedding service.

Another common symbolic act is that of the couple being tied together to represent their union – literally ‘tying the knot’. Handfasting, the tying of hands or wrists, can be found in Sikh, Buddhist, Pagan and Scottish Celtic ceremonies. In the Greek Orthodox Church couples are instead joined together by their Stefana (symbolic crowns) which are attached by a white ribbon. Alternatively, in Hindu and some Catholic ceremonies a scarf or cord is placed around the couple themselves.

A formal ‘giving away’ of a bride by their family is near universal in wedding ceremonies. Examples include the bride’s father placing her hand in that of the groom’s, or walking her down the aisle. These relect traditional views of female children being the property of their fathers or male relatives, with the rituals marking the transition of this authority to her husband. It also dates from when the groom had to pay a price to her family – something that still happens in many cultures worldwide, though perhaps increasingly as a symbolic act only. Though the role of women has changed, many choose to keep these practices as meaningful ways to include their parents in the ceremony.


1. Esther & Chris exchange rings. St Andrews Parish Church,

Enield 2014. Copyright George and Nina Photography www.georgeandninaphotography.co.uk.2. Ridhima and Mihir exchange garlands 2012. Copyright

Colours Photo & Film.3. Barrie and Coskun hands are tied together during a

Buddhist blessing by the New River 2007. Courtesy of Barrie Gabbott.

4. Scarves placed around Khushi and Nikunj are tied together symbolising their eternal bond in the ceremony

of Gath Bandhan 2014. Courtesy of Khushi Haria.


Apart from the marriage ceremony and its legal obligations,

the rest of a wedding is made up of traditions and symbolic

gestures. These can be expressed through the inclusion of

lowers, food, music and dance, helping to make this most signiicant and elaborate of celebrations memorable.

The earliest record of lowers used at weddings was during Roman times, where the happy couple would wear garlands of herbs around their heads, containing garlic to ward off evil spirits. Herbs were eventually changed for lowers and during the Victorian period different lowers had certain meanings so the lowers used would contain coded messages. Today, the use of alternatives to fresh lowers is not uncommon and silk, paper, ribbon and dried lowers can now be seen.

The cake is more noteworthy than the meal in western weddings but in other cultures food is used for more than just eating. Hindus use turmeric and rice grains to mark the men’s foreheads, Sikhs place a coconut in front of the groom to symbolise prosperity and Italians give guests ive almonds to represent the ive wishes for the represent the ive wishes for the happy couple; health, wealth, happiness, fertility and longevity.

Music and dance enhances all celebrations but especially weddings. From a choir or organist at the church, to a traditional band, disco with DJ, live band, string quartet, or a medley made up of favorite music recorded on a MP3 player at the reception; these can all bring a sense of fun. Music specially written for Barrie and Coskun of Enield was performed next to the New River.

Though the classic irst dance sees the bride and groom take to the dance loor as a married couple, traditional dances are generally a communal affair with everyone taking part. For example, the Hora, is a traditional circle dance practiced in many eastern European and Middle Eastern countries. During Jewish wedding receptions the newlyweds sit on chairs holding a handkerchief between them and are lifted into the air, while the guests dance around them. Hungary has the Money Dance (Menyasszony-tanc), where the guests pay to dance with the bride.

All these traditions and symbols help to keep our cultural, religious and family identity. They help to cement our relationships to the past and give us opportunities to create and share new versions of old traditions.


1. Emma’s Christmas themed wedding bouquet 2014. Copyright Rick King Photography

2. Gavin and Chris cutting the top tier of their cupcake wedding cake 2009. Courtesy of Gavin Williams

3. ‘Music for an Artwork’ composed by Thomas Krause for the lute. Played by the New River for Barrie and Coskun’s civil partnership 2007. Courtesy of Barrie Gabbott

4. Esther and Chris taking to the dance loor for their irst dance as a married couple 2014. Copyright George and Nina Photography www.georgeandninaphotography.co.uk


Wedding celebrations last beyond the day itself. In the early 19th Century upper class newlyweds would take a ‘bridal tour’ to visit relatives who could not attend the wedding. Friends and family would often accompany them, a dramatic contrast to today’s honeymoons.

Named after the idea that the irst month of marriage is the sweetest, these holidays are traditionally seen as providing some privacy to develop love and intimacy between a couple, particularly those who have not yet had a sexual relationship. In the 20th Century honeymoons followed the wedding reception, with couples changing into special going-away outits and guests gathering to see them off. Today, overseas honeymoons are common, and is oneof the biggest expenses of the wedding.

Celebrating the anniversaries of the date of your wedding has taken place since the Middle Ages. The comic ballad The Diverting History

of John Gilpin (1782) tells the story of an anniversary in Edmonton being ruined by a runaway horse “Though wedded we have been, These twice ten tedious years, yet we No holiday have seen. To-morrow is our wedding-day, And we will then repair Unto the Bell at Edmonton, All in a chaise and pair”. Couples today often establish anniversary traditions as personal and unique to them as their weddings. For 30 years Stan and Helen Kiddle have revisited Forty Hall & Estate to recreate their favourite wedding photo, with children and pets appearing as their family grew.

Since the late 20th century, one popular celebration used to mark signiicant anniversaries has been wedding vow renewal ceremonies. Such celebrations offer another chance for couples to have the wedding ceremony they always wanted. In 2008 Bob and Stephanie Milverton of Enield renewed their vows amongst 700 couples at a special ceremony in Westminster Cathedral. They later held a personal ceremony for their 40th anniversary at the Mary, Mother of God Catholic Church in Ponders End.

However, not all weddings have many anniversaries to celebrate. Today, an estimated 42% marriages now end in divorce. Images top to bottom

1. Guests decorate the ‘going away’ car of Cyril & Doreen Hill. Palmers Green 1953. Enield Museum.

2. Print of John Gilpin 1785. Enield Local Studies & Archive.3. Stan & Helen Kiddle in 1984 & 2014. Forty Hall &

Estate. Courtesy of Stan Kiddle.4. Vow renewal reception. Theobalds Park Hotel 2008.

Courtesy of Stephanie Milverton.

2 april 2015 – 10 january 2016 - the dugdale centre married... · 6th may 1960. courtesy of ian...

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