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Written by Cary Mcneal

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Copyright © 2010 by Cary McNeal

 All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any

orm without permission from the publisher; exceptions ar

made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by

 Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.

57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-60550-624-9

ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-624-1

eISBN: 978-1-44050-693-2

Printed in the United States of America.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

is available from the publisher.

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his publication is designed to provide accurate an

uthoritative information with regard to the subject matt

overed. It is sold with the understanding that the publish

s not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or oth

rofessional advice. If legal advice or other expessistance is required, the services of a compete

rofessional person should be sought.

—From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by

Committee of thAmerican Bar Association and a Committee of Publishe

and Association

Many of the designations used by manufacturers anellers to distinguish their product are claimed a

ademarks. Where those designations appear in this boo

nd Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, th

esignations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Certain sections of this book deal with activities an

evices that would be in violation of various federal, stat

nd local laws if actually carried out or constructed. We d

ot advocate the breaking of any law. This information is f

ntertainment purposes only. We recommend that yoontact your local law enforcement officials befo

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ndertaking any project based upon any informatio

btained from this book. We are not responsible for, nor d

we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the us

f any information in this book.

Interior illustrations:

Line art © Clipart.com 

Silhouettes © Neubau Welt

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk  purchases.

For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

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Contents

Acknowledgments

ntroduction

Chapter 1 Are You Gonna Eat That?The Ugly Truth about Food and Drink 

Chapter 2 Every Little Thing We Do

TragicHuman (Mis)Behaviors

Chapter 3 Totally Gross AnatomyThe Human Body Exposed 

Chapter 4 Was It Bad for You, Too?Everything You Never Wanted to Knoabout Sex and Love

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Chapter 5 Will You Survive the 9-to-5?More Reasons to Hate Your Job, YouBoss, and Your Idiot Coworkers

Chapter 6 We Be Illin’The Sickening Truth about Your Health

Chapter 7 “And in My Spare Time, I Enjo

Dying”Bad News about the Things You Do foFun—or Used To

Chapter 8 Let Me Hear Your Potty Talk

The Straight Poop on Going to thBathroom

Chapter 9 The Price of Vice

Fifty More Reasons Not to Smoke, Drinkor Do Drugs

Chapter 10 You Have the Right to RemaiShockedThings You Shouldn’t Know about Crim

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and Punishment 

Chapter 11 When It Rains, It PoursA S#*tstorm of Scary Facts about t

Weather 

Chapter 12 You Animals!Beastly Tales of Creatures Tha

Outnumber Us

Chapter 13 The Fruited PlainFrightening Facts about America anAmericans

Chapter 14 Open Wide and Say, “OS#*t!”Bad Medicine. Really, Really, Really Bad 

Chapter 15 They Did What?!Not-So-Proud Moments in World History 

Chapter 16 Buggin’ Out

nsect Facts That Will Give You th

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Creepy-Crawlies

Chapter 17 Foreign ObjectsStrange Facts about Faraway Place

Where People Talk Funny 

Chapter 18 Do You Believe?Facts and Claims about Aliens, Ghosts

he Olsen Twins, and Other Realms of the Unexplained 

Chapter 19 We’re ToastBad News about Our World and Wh

We’re All Headed theWay of the Dodo

Chapter 20 What the—?!

The Worst of the Worst and the Weirdeof the Weird 

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 Acknowledgments

Writing any book is a massive undertakingand no author does it alone, even thougyou certainly feel alone when it’s 4:30 on

beautiful sunny spring afternoon and you’rtuck inside banging your head against thdesk as you try to come up with somethinunny to say about people being beheadeor bugs that eat human flesh while all youriends and family are outside somewherhaving fun without you, usualaccompanied by alcohol.

Still, a lot of people made this boo

happen, and I need to thank themEspecially if I want to get hired againThose people are:

Holly Schmidt and Allan Penn at Holla

Publishing, for giving me the opportunity t

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write this book, for believing in me, focoddling me and listening to me whine anbitch about how hard it was and convincinme it would be worth the effort in the end.

was.Matt Glazer and Paula Munier at Adam

Media, for their guidance and patience, anor giving a first-time author a chance.

Kirsten Amman, my researcher, whosask was monumental; yet she did it witvigor and efficiency and glee. For that could kiss her, but I don’t want he

boyfriend to beat my ass, so she’ll havettle for a heartfelt thank you.Jenny Bent of The Bent Agency, for he

generous and invaluable advice, and Elain

English, my attorney, for reading all thong, wordy documents and knowing exactwhich parts were most important.

My friends Don and Danna Calder, foegal assistance, medical supervisionpatience, and encouragement, and fo

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entertaining my family while I was holed uwriting.

Beverly Linzer Jenkins and AdriannGershberg, the funniest chicks I know, fo

heir comic genius and inspiration, and amy friends from List of the Day.

  Amy Miller and Tom Jacobsen for theunconditional friendship and for waitin

months for me to answer their e-mails aneturn their phone calls.  Amy Winter, my professional role mod

and friend, and the entire crew at Wol

Bros Post.My parents, Perry and Jean McNeal, an

he rest of my family for their interest inand support of, my writing.

My wife Paige and daughter Keaton fooving me no matter what.

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