WELCOME• The Pig was BLUSHING from the MUSHING at the Waters Edge, 8pm Friday 10th August, 2012.• July’s Minutes confirmed by the Big C, whilst belly aching about the lateness of the minutes as a reason

for the meeting’s attendance numbers down, when someone was overheard to quip that he was a shadow of his former self with his new anti-inflammatory diet (The Abascal Way for all you fat f&%$ers!)

• Present tonight were 32 members. The Big C & Rosie, Markey and Max, The SOON YEE, Bryan, Big Bad Joe, Tukai, Builder Ben, Erikk and Geeta, The Donno and the Sarah, Cherie and menagerie, The Katie and Billy PEE, Lu, Alabama Mike and Karen, Alabama Ronnie, The Renee, Kapeena and John Lyn, Lo and Scott, Elsie (Olive Oi) and Tandra (Fuzzy), Robert, Mike Brooks, Wayne, Jarvi, Cliff, Earl & Russ.

MONTHLY MEETING

MINUTES10th August, 2012

From 3 to 2 chins...looking good The Big C !

Catering to Little Erikk is an activity requiring

much sustenance!

This may be the blending of 2 photos OR it may be The Billy

PEE in full letch leery mode.....?

Hard to think about fishing, when bikini clad mud

wrestling girls is being touted!

A 3rd chin imminent?

The Big C - “Sorry I can’t talk to you Lo - My uncle’s

cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s

roommate’s pet goldfish died. I have other fish to fry.”

Lu - “It is better to swallow words than have to eat

them later.”

Cliff - “I have had a perfectly wonderful

evening, but this wasn’t it!”

SOON YEE - “Did you ever walk into a room and forgot why you

walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”

Best.Laugh.EVER. 10 feet and closer will result in 100dB and consequent

hearing loss.

One. Rum.and.Pulpy

Two. Rum.and.Pulpy

Three. Rum.and.Pulpy

Jarvi - “May I be excused? My brain is full!”

Earl - “Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point - the bartender

cheated you!”

Four. Rum.and.Pulpy have The Ronnie

talking to the Lord! - “Lord, I will never do

that again!”

They have locked up people for looking

less like this...

Karen - Obviously enjoying her

humour concerning little

Donno.

Billy PEE - “Why bother about fish recipes in this club? You

need some canned fish recipes!”

Alabama Mike going in for the sly grope and Karen

obviously not averse to it.

“If any little girl is happy, don’t try to make her happier!”

The Renee - “I couldn’t be happier - Bronzie is healed and I am sitting next to The Donno!”

Billy PEE -“Ist prize will be a “Stella” - If Stella not available, then maybe

Stella’s mum...?”

BBJo - “Don’t let your mind wander SOON YEE, It’s too

little to be let out alone.”

Tandra - “I didn’t fall on the beach. The beach just needed a hug.”

Wayne - “Yeah I know I am at the table with all

the other goils.”

Ronnie - “A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.”

Nilesh - “Screw the stinking membership! When do I get

to fish?”

BBJo - “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent

by road then it’s a shipment. Go figure?”

John Lyn - Pointing the “fickle finger”.

Lo - “50 shades of grey more interesting than

you Earl!”

Kapeena - “Donno - Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you

to keep your mouth shut.”

The inside smell of my shirt bulge, smells better than Ben’s

bowel breath.

Ben - “Now that my fishing buddy Erikk is mega

preoccupied, might have to get another finely skilled

fisherman, The Donno to help.”

Geeta - “Isn’t my Erikk handsome, even though

sometimes “lights are on, but no one is home!”

Mike - “I had a nightmare last

night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I

was a bottle baby.”

The inaugral Wednesday Grog session at Billy PEE’s new mansion Le Palaise, enjoyed by the bums and

misfits of Pac Harbour.

EVENTS COMMITTEE

The Big C started by heaping WUP ASS on the poor member showing and lack of participants at the land based part of the SeaLander Fishing Competition in July. It seems every one was more interested in “talking shit” and eating than actually fishing.There was also a lambasting of the Adults with progeny who didn’t fish, as there was hundreds of dollars in prizes that were not vied for.Questions as to what the hell happened to Team Renee and Team Builder Ben, Team Shiloh, and Team BBJo...?A new Comp is being promised (with the SOON YEE seen gyrating/squirming in discomfort as if with a case of severe UTI), which as far as The Big C made out, would have 3 prizes, biggest fish for shore (adult and kids), and boat biggest. Also biggest GT released, which would make 4 prize categories? Humongous $value promised. Date is anybody’s guess, but will be “SOON”...........? My 3 buck note is next July...?

EDUMUCATION COMMITTEE

Erikk forgot that every 2nd Friday of the month is Meeting Night, and thus had nothing prepared, (even after attending 21 previous such meetings), so we therefore got didley squat in edumacation. It was concluded that Erikk was pandering too much to Little Erikk and needed to refocus on his priorities.

To this end, to make it a little easier for him, it was canvassed by the members on desired future Edumacation Topics for the rest of this year, which yielded the following topics and presenters:

‣ September Meeting - How to rig live and dead bait (Skip Jack) - Kapeena‣ October Meeting - 3 essential Boating Rope Knots - Alabama Mike‣ November Meeting - How to rig Ballyhoo or Garfish - Builder Ben‣ December Meeting - Revision of some fishing knots - The Big C

EMERGENCY PHONE TREEErikk has promised to have the initial Emergency Phone Tree ready by the next meeting, however, based on the evidence of previous members’ performances the last couple of years, allow this to be more likely to occur by the October/November Meeting. (A request for members to please try to have any Boating misadventures occur after October if possible?)

Erikk - “I ran out of gas!--I had a flat tyre, I didn’t have enough money for cab fare!--My tux didn’t

come back from the cleaners!--An old friend came in from out of town!--Someone stole my car!--There was an earthquake!--A terrible flood!--Locusts!--It

wasn’t my fault, I swear to God!”

Geeta Erikk

The SOON YEE - “Some people come into our lives and leave

footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us

wanna leave footprints on their face.”

FISHING TALES

The floor was opened to members to regale us with stories of their fishing tales from the month gone by, however, no tales, as not much fishing done in the last month due to very poor Pacific Harbour weather.

Those members who are not present at the meeting, can email a written account (with pictures) of their fishing tales anywhere in the World, and be eligible for a great lure prize.

IMPORTANT SAFETY CONSIDERATION (from your ever diligent Safety Marshall - The Donno)“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

Whilst it is a great increase in safety to have a boat with two (2) engines, if not affordable, then at least have Anchor Rope at least 200m minimum, ideally 400m, which can arrest your movement over the Ocean in strong currents (making it easier to find you), and also preventing you from going onto a reef, should your engine(s) ever fail to work.

AUGUST MEMBER’S CATCH

A couple of superb weather perfect fishing days in an otherwise inglorious month of poor windy weather enjoyed by Team Alabama and The Donno, with the Russ coming along on one Sunday trip to check things out. We still have not worked out

where to go to catch the monsters, but are catching around 20 to 30 of 1kg to 8kg varieties of species that live in 300 to 800 ft depth. One advantage of catching fish at this depth, apart from the superb quality of the taste, is the knowledge that the

fish are Ciguatera free.

Russ hitching a lift with Team Alabama.

Cleaning up The Renee’s boat after a

long, but beautiful day.

Mike - Best to ponder into space, when your fish catching is light on.

The Donno - Like a TIGER!

The Donno - How to hold a fish to minimise being

slimed.

Crimson Job Fish (Paka Paka) and Blood Snapper

Coral Trout (Donu) and Cawa Cawa (Both Grouper)

Goat fish Small Toothed Job Fish

Who the ferk knows? Grouper Family

Rosinibogi or Blood Snapper

Two beautiful Hump Back Whales at Frigates within

25m of boat and a Dolphin alongside. Compensation

for fish not biting.

Rosie - Barracouda (Ogo)

SOON YEE -another damn Blue Fin

Rosie -Looooong Tom or Saku

SOON YEE - Coral Trout (Donu)

SOON YEE -Teenie weenie Blue Fin Trevally

RosieRosie and BigCbigC at VoliVoli in RakiRaki hahhad

funfun in the sunsun. Rosie - Crimson Job FIsh

Wayne - Small Blue Finand Goat Fish

The Big C and The Rosie took off to VoliVoli with an invite by Nick, for the purposes of showing Nick some jigging and GPS techniques. The weather was stunning, (unlike the dreary Pac Hbr rainy weather), and the bastardo kept emailing me pictures throughout the weekend to

reinforce he was in the sun fishing and we were not... Unbeknowns to us, Nick’s gonads were being mauled by his missus, so the Big C had to fish with someone else on another boat. They caught a few fish, and certainly less than the number of photos I received!!. This poor fishing effort prompted another couple of fishing expeditions in Pac Hbr. The very next trip did not yield much, where they tried everything-trolling,

then popping, then finally caught a couple sardines by jigging and bottom bouncing using bait. Some dolphins played with them, which probably didn’t help the fishing. The following trip yielded most of the fish pictured below. (ED. Never let facts get in the way of a good story.)

Check out The Big C’s Xstreem Fishing Blog for the real story...

From Ad Galama in Thailand...Still missing the blue Pacific Ocean, but still managing to go to the sea once in a while. A couple of weeks ago I went on a

2 day trip. First day caught a lot of Dolphin fish and a Longtom (near a FAD) the second day a lot of various reef fish. Enjoyable for sure. Last week (always a rod in the back of my car) I threw in some bread in some water near a hotel in the

North of Thailand and was very pleased with the fish (no idea what it is) Next week I will be fishing again and hope to finally catch something big. However some Thai friends tell me that "wanting is the cause of suffering" so.....let's see :)

Erikk - “My only recent catch……. did not release it...”

A lean mean fighting machine with a Coral Trout.

“Here's the latest big one

from da Big Isle, 45lb Ono

(Wahoo) it was almost as big as me!!! Our guest on the boat was stoked, so was

I! Take care guys & gals!” Moce, Heidi

Rosie - Green Job Fish

Rosie - Long Nosed Emporer

(Dokonivudi)

HOT TIPS

The Donno - Don’t pee into wind unless really, really confident about velocity and virility.

The Katie - Plan the Tides.The Donno - DO NOT work with hooks (eg. baiting) whilst the boat

is motoring in a rough swell.Karen - Take first aid kit.The Sarah - Prawn head shells don’t work as bait.The Wayne - Something about a butterfly jig....?

The winner was obviously the Donno, but attention span of gnats in evidence tonight, so no prizes awarded for best Hot Tip.

TREASURER’S REPORT

With the huge Twisted Leader cash surplus (exact $ amount?), speculation was rampant about the Renee’s choice of investment strategies- gold and/or silver bullion, specifically the beautiful Fiji Taku 1 0z coins.

ABOUT THE DESIGNNew Zealand Mint is proud to launch a new Silver Gold Gilded coin,

celebrating one of the most unique and rare animals in the South Pacific, The Hawksbill Turtle- or the locally named 'Taku'. Marine

turtles have traveled the sea for over 100 Million years. Today, six of the seven species of marine turtles are listed as endangered or

critically endangered. Hawksbill Turtles are commonly observed on coral reefs where they feed on Sponges, Seagrass, Ascidians and

Soft Corals. A thousand Hawksbills are thought to nest in the Pacific Ocean, which includes a Fijian breeding population of 120-150. The numbers of adult Hawksbill Turtles for Fiji is estimated at 2-3,000.

It was proposed that said surplus funds could be utilised in part towards recognising dubious faineant otiose slothful achievement - “The Golden Turd Award” - for those office bearers that have hung in there whilst subjected to enormous ad hominem attacks (justified I think!) about their numerous incompetencies, and yet still managing to stumble over the line into inadequacy each month.At any rate there is stiff competition for nominees for the Golden Turd Award, and all nominations should be forwarded to the Big C, before September’s meeting, so that members may vote then.

OTHER NEWS - RUMOUR HAS IT.....

• Alabama Ronnie ordered a 28ft custom made aluminium boat being built by Blue Water in Navua which will be fitted with twin counter rotating 150HP Yamaha 4 stroke engines due for completion in November this year. Brown nosing should start now for invitational berths.

• Honourary membership given to The Waters Edge staff on the provisio that this membership is valid whilst under it’s employ.

• The Donno will be in Sydney during the September Meeting, so John the Font will dutifully act as scribe, The Rosie as photographer AND videographer of the Edumacation session in particular.

• Whilst in Sydney, The Donno will visit Ben Pickering currently on dialysis and give a card from the

“You just never know who is about to piss upstream of

you....”

Markey?

Club to show our good wishes and hope for his recovery from treatment.

• Many thanks to Olive Oil, Fuzzy and Micky et al for cleaning up the Terra Trek beach on Sunday after the SeaLander Comp. (It was speculated that maybe, perhaps the clean up occurred due to their desire to hide the evidence of that night’s beach fire drunken depraved debauchery?)

• The Sarah Fisk underwent a coup for the Environment Committee Manager, based on alleged slackness due to excess young boy whale savers “fraternisation”, with The Wayne unanimously elected. His supporters and helpers include Olive Oil, Fuzzy, Micky, who have many fun activities planned (like bikini clean ups, mud wrestling....the “mind boggles!”).

• It was requested that The Sarah place a next Meeting count down meter on the FaceBook page, to help those date (brain cell) challenged individuals to remember.

• Fish Recipes have been promised by Fuzzy, Ronnie, Kapeena, Olive Oil, and Builder Ben, to go into the future Monthly Newsletters.

• 30ft right of way access to Taunovo Beach plus parking graciously allowed by Jeff in consultation with the Big C.

• A comment made as to BBJo’s boat having a motor that could power the Space Shuttle......

• Alabama Mike’s suggestion of a Shark Finning Edumacation topic for the Environmental Committee perplexingly did not gain any support with the members?

• The PIG is a little worse for wear after 2 years of abuse, so we are tending towards ending it’s days after the 2nd AGM - kill this pig?

• Coming up to our 2nd year Anniversary October Annual General Meeting. Any suggestions for an appropriate night’s theme to cavort wildly?

• With the recent Yanucian attempts at piracy, our Environment Committee should be all over this, like flies on a ripening turd, with some Edumacation and meetings?

• Our Ugly Nick of Marine Graphics is said to be designing the vinyl artwork for Ronnie’s new boat - he may be ugly, but he has talent! (Note to Nick - Try to work in some naked mermaids please..?)

And you thought you were top of the food chain!

Some of Ugly Nick’s original artwork

“I’ll tell you what this means Ronnie -- no worries about our using

explosives, drift netting, trapping and long lining now, and screw the

Yanucian marine reserve !”

FISH RECIPE OF THE MONTH

Fried Fish with the Alabamians - Deep South Style

This recipe is so simple, yet is arguably the tastiest fried fish I have ever tasted. You can also adapt this method to batter and fry vegetables, like eggplant !1. Soak your fish fillets in milk to reduce any strong

fishy tastes, and improve the binding of the cornmeal to the fish.

2. Heat vegetable oil in skillet to 350 F / 180 C. *IMPORTANT* OIL MUST STAY HOT..HOT..HOT. This is key to getting cornmeal to stick to your fish.

3. In a large plastic zip-lock bag combine Zataran’s Shrimp Fry (Cost-U-Less) and your choice of seasoning (salt, cayenne pepper etc)

4. Once oil is to temperature remove a few fillets and move to cornmeal. Completely coat fish with cornmeal and don't manhandle. Only take out a few at a time.

5. Place fish from cornmeal to HOT oil. Monitor your heat at this time. When the act of frying begins it will raise the temperature of the oil watch carefully you do not burn the oil or the fish. On the other side don't let the oil get too cold. Overcrowding the pan with too many fillets is the easiest way to do this. If the cornmeal is not staying attached to your fish then your cornmeal is probably too cold

6. Cook fish for about 2-4 min on each side. You will notice the fillets want to float after cooked. Gauge how well they’re done by the colour of the cornmeal, you want a nice golden brown.

7. Repeat steps 4 - 6 until all fish is cooked and you have Southern Fried Fish.

Meeting ended at 9.30 pm. PLEASE NOTE. Next meeting is Friday the 14th September, 2012 at 7:30pm.

DISCLAIMER

If something in these minutes offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all collectively heap scorn and derision on you. My sense of humour may hurt your feelings, I suggest you drink a bowl of grog and get over it. Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, head of our Complaints Department, who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret).Any criticism of these minutes will be treated the same as a legless man teaching running, and there will be no answering of any query based on the possibility (however remote) that the answer is not known. From experience, It has been found pointless in arguing with idiots, as they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.If you received these minutes in error, take it as a sign that you are indeed blessed and fortunate to be receiving the pearls of wisdom contained therein and then remit the requisite membership fee as a sign of appreciation. Failure to do so may result in ubiquitous viral nasties infesting and plaguing your computer, which won’t be from any contained within the transmission of this document, but by the bad JuJu inherent in your erstwhile actions. Failure to invite and actually TAKE OUT FISHING the author on any fishing expeditions, may result in a diverse disproportionate disturbing diatribe disseminated onto your deserving deadset drongo dropkick delinquent derriere. If voicing any disdain at this dilemma, don’t let the door hit you where the creator split your difference on the way out.It should be emphasized that no photos received are altered in any way by the author, to render the subject (sender) in unflattering ways, however, sometimes the subject forgets (in their quest for universal acclaim and approval of their feats) that they indeed may be considered butt ugly and no amount of editing or photoshop can fix their unfortunate plight.Whilst I am busy dispensing self serving platitudes or aphorisms, remember “carpe diem” and “fishing is a way of life”, and failure to do either is not “mea maxima culpa”. The Donno - Secretary

The Sarah - Editor-In-Chief / The Donno Ball Breaker

Alleged picture of the Billy PEE in younger days winning the Blue Flame Competition?

(We knew he had wind issues, but...?)