11 jan 13 twisted minutes for january
DESCRIPTION
Twisted LeadersFishing Club Monthly Meeting Minutes 11 Jan 13TRANSCRIPT
WELCOME & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013 !• The Billy PEE commenced his running of the meeting at the Waters Edge, 8pm Friday 11th January,
2013, with his Chinese Remote Control, also known as The SOON YEE.• Minutes begrudgingly and reluctantly confirmed by the Donno amidst rapturous adulation at his oratory
prowess, with all the ladies swooning (panties thrown ala Tom Jone’s style), and the men looking on in embarrassed awe at their own failings and manish shortcomings in comparison! The Big C acknowledged that he would subsequently revert back to confirming the prior month’s minutes in the future to avoid having all the ladies question their men’s performance, and who may very possibly leave their inadequate menfolk to constitute a Donno’s harem.
MONTHLY MEETING
MINUTES11th January, 2013
The Billy PEE, Master of Ceremonies,
General Provocoteur and Creator of the meeting’s
riveting presentation.The Katie & Deco
looking good !!
Ronnie with his “environmentally friendly”
Vodka in a cutoff soda bottle.
What colour are GEET’S eyes Erikk?... Anybody....?
• Present tonight were around 36 members:- The Big C & Rosie and Ethel Wallace, Sarah Fisk, The SOON YEE, Bryan and Brian, Big Bad Joe, Olive Oil, Leah, Jieasa, Vipin Pal, Ravneesh Chand, Penioni, Esali, Earl, Markey, Tarvi, The Font, Alabama Ronnie and Bob (Jack), Erikk and Geeta, The Donno and The Sarah, The Billy PEE and Katie, Lo, Jeff, Ivan Ignatev, Llew, Satneesh Sharma, Builder Ben, Chairman Mao and Russ.
• Apologies from all the misguided who did not attend. (It should be mentioned that I was too busy pointing out The Billy PEE’S inadequacies to accurately record who in the Club actually took time out to mention that they would not be attending - if indeed there were any such considerate individuals?)
• Many new members present tonight, which saw some much needed coin extracted from them:- Vipin Pal, Raveneesh Chandii, Penioni, Ivan Ignatev, and Satneesh Sharma and yes, these really are their names!
Happy Happy Twisted Members
“Going home to Alabamma to rest !!
Missed the fine print about building a boat in Fiji !”
A bee line to the goils to extract membership.
“A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour” - Anon
“You cannot discover oceans unless you have the courage the leave the shore.”
“Oh, I’m sorry Ronnie...Did the beginning of my sentence interrupt the
middle of yours?”The dodgy end of the meeting.
New member Ivan Ethel Wallace, in all her 126 years never encountered so many pirates in one place
at the same time!!!
“YA knooow BABBALOO, if you were any slower you’d rust”
We’ll get em next time
PRESIDENT’S REPORT (President for life, Commodore Callan J. Wallace - The Big C )
TOP FIVE PRESIDENTIAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS in 2012! 5. Removed the Queen’s visage from Fiji’s currency. 4. Changed the track of Cyclone Evan for the benefit of Pacific Harbour residents. 3. Made Pacific Harbour “Adventure Capital of Fiji”. 2. Refused to allow a Member dues hike to cover his overseas trips.AND THE NUMBER ONE ACCOMPLISHMENT - Established the rubbish bins at the beach...
TREASURER’S REPORT
The Renee still on a decadent rendezvous somewhere, consuming vast quantities of seafood at all you can eat Sushi Bars (rumored?).
What’s left.
Renee’s Trip
A Billy PEE production
A Billy PEE production
A Billy PEE production
COMPETITION COMMITTEE
After the SOON YEE attempted to not be coerced into committing to organising any Competition, an agreed date of Saturday the 16th Feb (Valentine’s Day Weekend) was decided, and followed with a vote to be a combined Boat and Land based Fishing Competition.The SOON YEE agreed he would have a poster out prior to the activity, which is featured below (after appropriate spelling and grammer corrections made.)
The Billy PEE airing his budgies whilst doubting the SOON YEE’S credentials..
A Billy PEE production
A Bi
lly P
EE
prod
uctio
n
A Bi
lly P
EE
prod
uctio
nWho thinks The Billy PEE & Wayne
should take over as Event Managers for the upcoming comp?
Another fishing comp to organise???
ENVIRONMENTAL COMMITTEE
Chairman MAO was not present until later (after he was needed), and thus unsurprisingly, the many achievements of the Environmental Committee were discussed.• Thanks to the Ronnie for organising the bin placement, although less than 5 days later, one of the bins
has been stolen. Betting took place, with not so good odds, on when the other bins would disappear.• At this point, there was a distinct lack of concentration, so I have no idea what else was discussed.
FISHING TALES - Adventures in Fishing
The floor was opened to members to regale us with stories of their fishing tales from the month gone by:
• RONNIE/BOB/THE DONNO - Fishing in Waidroka with Captain Mala. Bottom bouncing on the reef and caught 25 pan size fish ( aka bait fish) when you get onto the good sized fish!
• The Big C - Jigging yielded 26 Donu, a Doggy, and Rosie up to her old tricks of catching bait fish and continually trading up in size.
• Erikk - Off the sea wall with bait caught a Policemen fish, which turned out not good for bait.
“We still talking about damn bins again...I’ll pay for the damn sign if we can just
move on.”
The noisiest crew right here at this table sniping at the
speakers.
A Billy PEE production
A Billy PEE production
IMPORTANT SAFETY CONSIDERATION (from your ever diligent Safety Marshal - The Donno)
Cock-ups - You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself so listen up !
There have been recent examples of smallish boats capsizing due to having on board too many oversized (excessively chunky individuals derived from a life time of indulgent over eating) fishermen when subsequently encountering swell.
Don’t overload your fishing boat !
Know your boat’s limits and stick to them!!
EDUMACATION COMMITTEE
Erikk arrived late with squeeze in tow, presented three parts of bugger all, thus leaving many curious minds wondering what could possibly have kept him from his duties?Promises of many great topics to be covered in future meetings.
“Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.” - Dalai Lama
A Billy PEE production
JAN / FEB MEMBER’S CATCH
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do then by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch
the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
Proud Captain Bauman and Onshore Supervisor
Proud Brian who it is rumored required a rest after catching this Tuna.
The Bauman crew haul
Russ’s Bloodbath !
Master Fisherman Russ.
Catch and Release. Say it ain’t so?
The Donno’s secret 5
Lucarnus jig set up revealed whilst fishing
with Russ!
Russ stole my big fish, leaving me
with this!
“A committee is a group who keeps Minutes and loses Hours.” - Milton Berle
Plagarised directly From The Big C’s Xstreem Fishing Blog (<- Clickable Link)Our first fishing trip of the year was slated as a jigging trip. We all had been eating too much beef and pork and were
craving some fish. So a hunting we shall go. The weather looked a bit ominous in the morning, but the rarely deters us. Our crew for today is Rosie, of course, Brendan, Wayne, John and yours truly.Our objective is food fish by means of jigging.With
out further ado, let the fishing begin.
Damu with topwater plug
Hopefully all will be revealed about this haul at the next
meeting. Good to see Pablo back fishing in Fiji.
No Olive Oil, you are not learning to fly...
Markey cleaning his (and Olive’s? haul.
Wayne with a grouper on a home made jig.
Lyre tail grouper.
I think he needs to go into the first aid
box to cool off.
Action shot of Wayne connected to a monster.
This fight lasted a good 10 minutes. We have color.
Nice little Dogtooth Tuna caught on light
tackle A nice Grouper.
Of course I must get in on the action.
Rosie up first with a nice steamable grouper.
Brendan with a grouper on soft
plastic.
Me fighting the bottom.
That damn home made jig again.
We caught a lot of different kinds of
groupers.
Another Lyre tail. Another Grouper
The Font having a rest from all this reeling up and dropping down.
Rosie had to take her own picture
That effort deserves a dip !
There is a story with this fish. Rosie catches a little fish about the size of your hand. Then she decides to live bait it. So back down it goes. She then catches a larger fish with the small on, but it is not quite big enough. Back down it goes.
With in a couple of minutes she is hooked up to this big fella and ends our session on a high note.
OTHER NEWS/UNFINISHED BUSINESS
• Congratulations to Bec (she did all the work!) and new baby girl Layla Sue. There were unkind suggestions along the line of the beautiful baby’s father must have been other than Ugly Nick, as you can’t argue with genetics. Nick and family hopefully here in March.
• Ferd will be back from the US on the 21st January, whereupon the Big C will renew the discussion of his allegedly welshing from his commitment to provide a sign for the bin site.
• The Ronnie promised he would pay for the production of the sign for the bins, if the SOON YEE designed it.
We had a great day out and the weather cleared up. Best of all I had fish for
dinner, YUMMMMM! Fresh Fish Soup
Madam Becca, 37 weeks preggas and smash'n the
Sknapps!!
• Something about Sarah Fisk’s idea about members sending in photos from exotic locations wearing Twisted Leader’s T-Shirt?
• Ronnie’s boat oh so very close to completion, and he promises to deliver a presentation on the trials and tribulations of having one’s own customized boat built.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carrey
The main worker (The Donno) behind the camera, with BBJo,
Ronnie and Bob appreciatively
acknowledging his commitment and
work ethic.
SAH..WEEET!
“Dear Neptune, all we ask of you is an
awesome new Shimano Stella 18000
SW Reel complete with Ocean Tackle International 2nd
Generation Fathom Blade Rod with 80lb
Jerry Brown Line One Braid.”
The extent of friendship required to be demonstrated to
get a spot on Ronnie’s boat.
Wayne Moy and his pirate crew towed this out to Pacific Harbor where they
scuttled it for a dive wreck at the Aquatrek shark site
For those considering trolling behind a Kayak....(Erikk!) This
is a confirmed bona fide photograph featured in Africa
Geographic.
FISH RECIPE OF THE MONTH
Korean Fish Recipe using Urechis unicinctusIn consideration for the ever aging spinsters....
1. Lovingly place the “fish” in pan...2. Watch wistfully....3. Serve up passionately...4. Eat ravenously...
It is folk lore that eating these “fish” is guaranteed to aid in the real life accrual thereof...
This recipe was inspired by Leah and Olive Oil for their recipe that did not eventuate...
Meeting ended at 9.30 pm. PLEASE NOTE. Next meeting is Friday the 8th February, 2013 at 7.30pm.
Bryan, Hell hath no fury like a mother whose phone calls
aren’t answered
“It’s good to have a bunch of female minions who can take care of business when I don’t
show up to the actual meeting.”
A couple of fish that Leah and Elsie dragged in. Sweet, innocent smiles
belie true evil intent.
DISCLAIMERIf something in these minutes offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all collectively heap scorn and derision on you. My sense of humour may hurt your feelings, I suggest you drink a bowl of grog and get over it. Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, head of our Complaints Department, who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret).Any criticism of these minutes will be treated the same as a legless man teaching running, and there will be no answering of any query based on the possibility (however remote) that the answer is not known. From experience, It has been found pointless in arguing with idiots, as they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.If you received these minutes in error, take it as a sign that you are indeed blessed and fortunate to be receiving the pearls of wisdom contained therein and then remit the requisite membership fee as a sign of appreciation. Failure to do so may result in ubiquitous viral nasties infesting and plaguing your computer, which won’t be from any contained within the transmission of this document, but by the bad JuJu inherent in your erstwhile actions. Failure to invite and actually TAKE OUT FISHING the author on any fishing expeditions, may result in a diverse disproportionate disturbing diatribe disseminated onto your deserving deadset drongo dropkick delinquent derriere. If voicing any disdain at this dilemma, don’t let the door hit you where the creator split your difference on the way out.It should be emphasized that no photos received are altered in any way by the author, to render the subject (sender) in unflattering ways, however, sometimes the subject forgets (in their quest for universal acclaim and approval of their feats) that they indeed may be considered butt ugly and no amount of editing or photoshop can fix their unfortunate plight.Whilst I am busy dispensing self serving platitudes or aphorisms, remember “carpe diem” and “fishing is a way of life”, and failure to do either is not “mea maxima culpa”.
The Donno & The Sarah - Twisted Leaders Secretariet
A new study has shown that you CAN eat banana’s on the boat AND catch fish, as long
as you are wearing these.