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The ROCK Players present…”ResurrectionInsurance.com"

Based on John 11:25 & John 14:1-16

©2012 David Skarshaug (www.alcames.org). Conditions for use: (1) If you use all or parts of this script in any form, please consider sending a suggested $25 donation check made out to "The ROCK" to the following address: Ascension Lutheran Church, 2400 Bloomington Road, Ames, IA 50010. Reference the script title in the memo on the check. (2) Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. (3) You may reproduce this script for internal use, but all copies must contain this copyright statement.

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Cast:Cast:

Adam:Adam: Sam Sam Eva:Eva: Annee Annee Flo:Flo: Michaela Michaela Ebb:Ebb: JosieJosie

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Setting: This is a parody of the Setting: This is a parody of the Progressive Insurance TV Progressive Insurance TV commercials with saleswoman Flo. commercials with saleswoman Flo. It is set in a dream format. A It is set in a dream format. A couple, Adam & Eva, take their couple, Adam & Eva, take their seat in the congregation (actually seat in the congregation (actually facing congregation). They are facing congregation). They are preparing to take part in the preparing to take part in the Sunrise Service, but fall asleep Sunrise Service, but fall asleep only to experience a dream similar only to experience a dream similar to a Progressive Insurance to a Progressive Insurance commercial. Flow and Ebb (intern commercial. Flow and Ebb (intern to Flo) start off stage.to Flo) start off stage.

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Adam:Adam: (Looks at watch and (Looks at watch and wipes brow.)wipes brow.) We made it, just We made it, just in time for the sunrise service!in time for the sunrise service!

Eva:Eva: YouYou''ll go to any length ll go to any length to get a coveted parking to get a coveted parking place.place.

Adam:Adam: Nonsense, the parking Nonsense, the parking situation never entered my situation never entered my mind.mind.

Eva:Eva: ItIt''s the first thing you s the first thing you mentioned this morning. You mentioned this morning. You really are sleepy, arenreally are sleepy, aren''t you?t you?

Adam:Adam: Yes, but if Jesus could Yes, but if Jesus could rise from the dead for us on rise from the dead for us on Easter Sunday, the least we Easter Sunday, the least we could do was rise from our could do was rise from our slumber for him.slumber for him.

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Eva:Eva: You just didnYou just didn''t want to t want to be late for the breakfast be late for the breakfast again, and miss out on again, and miss out on BrigitteBrigitte''s German Chocolate s German Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Easter Bunnies.

Adam:Adam: Hmm, authentic Hmm, authentic German Chocolate, with German Chocolate, with coconut. Wait, I doncoconut. Wait, I don''t recall t recall chocolate bunnies from last chocolate bunnies from last year…year…

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Eva:Eva: I just wanted to see if I just wanted to see if you were really awake.you were really awake.

Adam:Adam: Well I am. And this Well I am. And this year…this year…Iyear…this year…I''m gonnam gonna'' stay awake through the whole stay awake through the whole thing. Youthing. You''ll see.ll see.

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Eva:Eva: Whole thing? Yeah Whole thing? Yeah right. What? The greeting? right. What? The greeting? The announcements? YouThe announcements? You''ll be ll be sawing logs like the disciples sawing logs like the disciples in the Garden. Stay awake? I in the Garden. Stay awake? I doubt it.doubt it.

Adam:Adam: Eva, youEva, you''ve got that ve got that whole doubting Thomas whole doubting Thomas impersonation down pat. How impersonation down pat. How ''bout a little encouragement?bout a little encouragement?

Eva:Eva: I did encourage you. I I did encourage you. I encouraged you to sit in the encouraged you to sit in the back where they wonback where they won''t hear t hear your snoring. What more do your snoring. What more do you want? A gentle elbow in you want? A gentle elbow in the ribs?the ribs?

Adam:Adam: That wonThat won''t be t be necessary. I came prepared.necessary. I came prepared.

Eva:Eva: Okay, Mr. Eagle Scout. Okay, Mr. Eagle Scout. WhatWhat''s your plan?s your plan?

Adam:Adam: 5-Hour Energy, check. 5-Hour Energy, check. New pack of Lifesavers in my New pack of Lifesavers in my pocket: check. Sitting in front pocket: check. Sitting in front of that kid that always kicks of that kid that always kicks my chair.my chair.

Eva:Eva: Tim Kruger?Tim Kruger?

Adam: Adam: ThatThat''s the one, check. s the one, check. Got the alarm on my phone set Got the alarm on my phone set to vibrate every 5 minutes: to vibrate every 5 minutes: check. Sitting on an check. Sitting on an uncushioned chair: check. uncushioned chair: check. And if all else fails, IAnd if all else fails, I''ve trained ve trained that crazy robin—whatthat crazy robin—what''s his s his name?name?

Eva:Eva: Oh, Roger?Oh, Roger?

Adam:Adam: Yeah, thatYeah, that''s it. Roger s it. Roger the Robin will tap on the the Robin will tap on the window every few minutes to window every few minutes to keep me awake.keep me awake.

Eva:Eva: And itAnd it''s a youth s a youth service, so itservice, so it''ll be loud songs ll be loud songs and fast skitsand fast skits. .

Adam:Adam: Yeah, that Sam Kruger Yeah, that Sam Kruger kid…hekid…he''s a stitch.s a stitch.

Eva:Eva: II''m kind of partial to m kind of partial to that Annee Wengert. Shethat Annee Wengert. She''s a s a real sweetheart!real sweetheart!

(If possible, display just the (If possible, display just the next slide so congregation can next slide so congregation can see it on screen.)see it on screen.)

Five minutes later…Five minutes later…after the announcements…after the announcements…

and greeting…and greeting…

Flo:Flo: (Grabs Adam(Grabs Adam''s shoulder s shoulder and shouts.)and shouts.) Hi, welcome to Hi, welcome to resurrection.com insurance! resurrection.com insurance! How can I help you?How can I help you?

Adam:Adam: Ah…say, youAh…say, you''re that re that crazy lady from those TV crazy lady from those TV commercials…commercials…

Flo:Flo: Just call me Flo.Just call me Flo. (Points to badge.)(Points to badge.) You know, it You know, it sounds better than "That crazy sounds better than "That crazy lady."lady."

Adam:Adam: (Points to Ebb).(Points to Ebb). WhoWho''s s this with you?this with you?

Flo:Flo: Oh, meet my trainee, Oh, meet my trainee, Ebb.Ebb.

Adam:Adam: Ebb? Ebb and Flo?Ebb? Ebb and Flo?

Ebb:Ebb: DonDon''t blame me, itt blame me, it''s s your dream.your dream.

Adam:Adam: (Looking around the (Looking around the room.)room.) So why isnSo why isn''t everything t everything white, like in the commercials?white, like in the commercials?

Ebb:Ebb: Well, the youth group Well, the youth group showed up Saturday with a showed up Saturday with a bunch of buckets of white bunch of buckets of white paint…paint…

Flo:Flo: But the Decorating But the Decorating Police intercepted them at the Police intercepted them at the sanctuary door and put a sanctuary door and put a kibosh on the whole thing.kibosh on the whole thing.

Adam:Adam: Ah…I understand.Ah…I understand.

Ebb: Ebb: You do?You do?

Adam: Adam: (Sheepishly)(Sheepishly) Not really. Not really.

Flo:Flo: You should…itYou should…it''s your s your dream.dream.

Eva:Eva: (Wakes up and looks at (Wakes up and looks at Ebb & Flo.)Ebb & Flo.) Hey, what are they Hey, what are they doing in your dream?doing in your dream?

Adam:Adam: (Looks at Eva.)(Looks at Eva.) Never Never mind them. What are you mind them. What are you doing in my dream?doing in my dream?

Eva:Eva: (Arms crossed.)(Arms crossed.) Last I Last I checked, wechecked, we''re married. re married. Remember…girl of your Remember…girl of your dreams?dreams?

Adam:Adam: Oh yeah…awkward.Oh yeah…awkward. (Flow makes "awkward" hand (Flow makes "awkward" hand sign.)sign.)

Flo:Flo: You, Adam, need life You, Adam, need life insurance…insurance…(looks at Eva)(looks at Eva)…the …the sooner the better.sooner the better.

Adam:Adam: Hmm, well I, a…Hmm, well I, a…

Flo:Flo: O come now, thatO come now, that''s why s why you came here, right?you came here, right?

Eva:Eva: No we came to church.No we came to church.

Flo:Flo: Exactly!Exactly! (Makes crazy (Makes crazy excited motions.)excited motions.)

Adam:Adam: Say, you donSay, you don''t sell life t sell life insurance on TV.insurance on TV.

Flo:Flo: No, only in dreams, and No, only in dreams, and the Church…the Church…

Eva:Eva: HowHow''s that work?s that work?

Flo:Flo: Sorry…trade secret.Sorry…trade secret. (Pause and smile at audience.)(Pause and smile at audience.) Just kidding. You see, Just kidding. You see, resurrection.com specializes in resurrection.com specializes in lifelife insurance.insurance.

Adam:Adam: You do?You do?

Flo:Flo: Oh sure, thatOh sure, that''s what s what Easter Sunday is all about. Easter Sunday is all about. Jesus said, "I am the way and Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life" the truth and the life"

Ebb:Ebb: "No one comes unto the "No one comes unto the father except through me."father except through me."

Flo:Flo: (To Ebb.)(To Ebb.) Very good, my Very good, my young padawon learner!young padawon learner! (Ebb (Ebb & Flo hand bump.)& Flo hand bump.) And—our And—our favorite Jesus quote—"I am the favorite Jesus quote—"I am the resurrection and the life."resurrection and the life."

Eva:Eva: Of course, the grave Of course, the grave couldncouldn''t hold Jesus. Because t hold Jesus. Because he rose from the dead, those he rose from the dead, those who believe in him will who believe in him will experience resurrection as experience resurrection as well…well…

Adam:Adam: And eternal life. As And eternal life. As John said, God has given us John said, God has given us eternal life, and this life is in eternal life, and this life is in his Son.his Son.

Flo:Flo: Bingo!Bingo! (Crazy excited (Crazy excited hand motions.)hand motions.) It all FLOWS It all FLOWS doesndoesn''t it?t it? (Smiles and points (Smiles and points to her name badge.)to her name badge.)

Eva:Eva: So thatSo that''s it, then?s it, then?

Ebb:Ebb: No, thereNo, there''s more! s more!

Flo:Flo: We have another way We have another way of helping save you…of helping save you…

Adam:Adam: You mean "Helping us You mean "Helping us save"?save"?

Flo:Flo: Did I say that?Did I say that? (Mischievous smile at (Mischievous smile at congregation.)congregation.) Bundling!Bundling!

Adam:Adam: Bundling?Bundling?

Eva:Eva: Adam, she wants us to Adam, she wants us to bundle the life insurance with bundle the life insurance with something like auto or boat something like auto or boat insurance too.insurance too.

Ebb:Ebb: Boat and life. Boat and life. Interesting. Did Noah refer Interesting. Did Noah refer you to us?you to us?

Adam:Adam: Noah?Noah?

Flo:Flo: Then were set then, Then were set then, and I wonand I won''t take "no-ah" for an t take "no-ah" for an answer. We’ll go with the answer. We’ll go with the preferred bundle: life AND preferred bundle: life AND home insurance.home insurance.

Eva:Eva: Home insurance?Home insurance?

Ebb:Ebb: Eternal home Eternal home insurance.insurance. (Makes long hand (Makes long hand gesture across sky.)gesture across sky.)

Flo:Flo: After all, Jesus said "I After all, Jesus said "I am going there to prepare a am going there to prepare a place for you….I will come place for you….I will come back and take you to be with back and take you to be with me that you also may be me that you also may be where I am"where I am"

Adam:Adam: So we have life and So we have life and home insurancehome insurance

Ebb:Ebb: Everlasting Life and Everlasting Life and Eternal Home.Eternal Home.

Flo:Flo: They go together..They go together..

Eva:Eva: Like peanut butter and Like peanut butter and jelly?jelly?

Flo:Flo: Like Unicorns and Like Unicorns and Glitter!Glitter!

Adam:Adam: Like Twito and Like Twito and Undercroft!Undercroft!

Flo:Flo: ItIt''s a sale then!s a sale then! (Hand (Hand shakes.)shakes.) Follow me to the Follow me to the checkout register!checkout register! (Adam & (Adam & Eva remove chairs. All four Eva remove chairs. All four exit the stage.)exit the stage.)

Optional Reprise of Skit at the Optional Reprise of Skit at the end of the service follows:end of the service follows:

Setting:Setting: Like start of skit, Like start of skit, Adam & Eva sitting on chairs Adam & Eva sitting on chairs on stage, awaking as if on stage, awaking as if they’ve slept through the they’ve slept through the entire service.entire service.

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Eva:Eva: (Elbows Adam)(Elbows Adam) So what So what do you have to say for do you have to say for yourself. yourself.

All (Sam Stands to give the All (Sam Stands to give the blessing).blessing).

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Closing BlessingClosing Blessing

AdamAdam: Go now and serve the : Go now and serve the risen Lord. He is risen.risen Lord. He is risen.

AllAll:: He is risen indeed. Thanks He is risen indeed. Thanks be to God, Amen.be to God, Amen.