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The ROCK Players present…

God’s Got Big Plans

Based on Nehemiah 6:1-16©2009 David Skarshaug (www.alcames.org). Conditions for use: (1) If you use all or parts of this script in any form, please consider sending a suggested $25 donation check made out to “The ROCK” to the following address: Ascension Lutheran Church, 615 Kellogg, Ames, IA 50010. Reference the script title in the memo on the check. (2) Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. (3) You may reproduce this script for internal use, but all copies must contain this copyright statement.

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Narrator:Narrator: MichaelMichaelNehemiah:Nehemiah: Matt W. (Super Man)Matt W. (Super Man)Artaxerxes (Art):Artaxerxes (Art): Matt S. (Godfather)Matt S. (Godfather)Hanani (Hank):Hanani (Hank): NateNate (Hank Williams)(Hank Williams)Sanballat (Sanby):Sanballat (Sanby): RyanRyanTobiah (Toby):Tobiah (Toby): TobyTobyPuppeteer:Puppeteer: AustinAustinPuppeteer:Puppeteer: ZacharyZacharyHasse:Hasse: Joe (Nets & Fishing Hat)Joe (Nets & Fishing Hat)Bernstein:Bernstein: JohannesJohannes (Nose)(Nose)Muffy:Muffy: AlleeAllee (Valley Girl)(Valley Girl)Buffy:Buffy: Annee (Valley Girl)Annee (Valley Girl)Veronica:Veronica: Lauren (Valley Girl)Lauren (Valley Girl)Biff:Biff: Chandler (Hip Waders)Chandler (Hip Waders)

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Narrator: Narrator: God had big plans. God had big plans. Around Thanksgiving time, in Around Thanksgiving time, in the year 446 B.C., Hanani—or the year 446 B.C., Hanani—or Hank--a brother to Nehemiah, Hank--a brother to Nehemiah, came from Judah, and came from Judah, and Nehemiah—or Knee High--Nehemiah—or Knee High--questioned him about the questioned him about the Jewish remnant that survived Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about the exile, and also about Jerusalem.Jerusalem.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: So, Hank, how’s So, Hank, how’s things in the old country?things in the old country?

Hanani:Hanani: Knee High, you Knee High, you don’t want to know.don’t want to know.

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Hank, I want to Hank, I want to know.know.

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Hanani:Hanani: I’m telling you, you I’m telling you, you don’t want to know.don’t want to know.

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Very well, Hank, Very well, Hank, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know.

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Hanani:Hanani: I’ll tell you. Those I’ll tell you. Those who survived the exile and are who survived the exile and are back in Judah are in great back in Judah are in great trouble and disgrace. Knee trouble and disgrace. Knee High, the wall of Jerusalem is High, the wall of Jerusalem is in ruins, the gates of the city in ruins, the gates of the city have been burned with fire, have been burned with fire, and both Duff Avenue and and both Duff Avenue and Lincoln Way are closed for Lincoln Way are closed for construction.construction.

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Narrator:Narrator: Yeah, it was bad, Yeah, it was bad, the kind of things you’d write the kind of things you’d write a country song about. So Knee a country song about. So Knee High mourned, fasted, and High mourned, fasted, and prayed…you know, basically a prayed…you know, basically a typical football season at Iowa typical football season at Iowa State.State.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: O LORD, hear my O LORD, hear my prayer. I confess the sins we prayer. I confess the sins we Israelites have committed Israelites have committed against you. We have not against you. We have not obeyed your laws. You told us obeyed your laws. You told us that if we were unfaithful, that if we were unfaithful, you’d scatter us among the you’d scatter us among the nationsnations. (Cont’d). (Cont’d)

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Nehemiah: But you also Nehemiah: But you also promised that if we repented, promised that if we repented, you’d return us from exile. you’d return us from exile. Hear my prayer and help me to Hear my prayer and help me to approach my employer, King approach my employer, King Art of Persia.Art of Persia.

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Narrator:Narrator: Yes, Knee High was Yes, Knee High was cupbearer to the King of cupbearer to the King of Persia, King Artaxerxes, and Persia, King Artaxerxes, and about 3-4 months later Knee about 3-4 months later Knee High approached the King High approached the King about Jerusalem. about Jerusalem.

Art:Art: (To narrator.)(To narrator.) You can You can call me Art. It’s simpler, and call me Art. It’s simpler, and I’m a simple man. I’m a simple man. (Sits down (Sits down to drink from Hawkeye cup.)to drink from Hawkeye cup.)

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Stop! Don’t Stop! Don’t touch that cup! touch that cup! (Removes (Removes Hawkeye cup, and hands him a Hawkeye cup, and hands him a Cyclone cup.)Cyclone cup.) Whew, that was Whew, that was a close one.a close one.

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Art:Art: Knee High, good and Knee High, good and trusted cupbearer, once again, trusted cupbearer, once again, you’ve saved my life. On this, you’ve saved my life. On this, the day of my daughter’s the day of my daughter’s wedding, why do you look so wedding, why do you look so downcast? Someone take your downcast? Someone take your last bagel? last bagel?

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: It’s my people. It’s my people. Some have returned to Some have returned to Jerusalem, but things are bad Jerusalem, but things are bad there. The people are there. The people are impoverished, unprotected, impoverished, unprotected, and depressed. and depressed.

Art:Art: Like Chicago Cubs fans Like Chicago Cubs fans in September, huh?in September, huh?

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: The walls of the The walls of the city are in ruin, the gates city are in ruin, the gates burned down, the new water burned down, the new water park isn’t open. park isn’t open.

Art:Art: You want that I should You want that I should fix these problems.fix these problems.

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Oh, I shouldn’t Oh, I shouldn’t trouble you, good king. trouble you, good king.

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Art:Art: Knee High! For you, I’d Knee High! For you, I’d do anything…well, maybe not do anything…well, maybe not the water park. That’s asking the water park. That’s asking a bit much.a bit much.

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Three things, Three things, good King: (1) grant me time good King: (1) grant me time off, (2) grant me safety on my off, (2) grant me safety on my travels, and (3) grant me travels, and (3) grant me materials for rebuilding the materials for rebuilding the city gates. city gates.

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Art:Art: That’s it? That’s all? That’s it? That’s all? No problem. No problem.

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Really, you’d do Really, you’d do that for me?that for me?

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Art:Art: Knee High, it’s not like Knee High, it’s not like you’re asking me to feed 5,000 you’re asking me to feed 5,000 people, sell an 80-year-old people, sell an 80-year-old church building, or provide church building, or provide affordable health insurance. affordable health insurance. Only God can do those kinds of Only God can do those kinds of big things.big things.

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Narrator:Narrator: So Knee High set So Knee High set off, and King Art provided him off, and King Art provided him guards for his journey, guards for his journey, commanded Asaph & Son’s commanded Asaph & Son’s Lumber Liquidators to provide Lumber Liquidators to provide materials for rebuilding the materials for rebuilding the city gates, and loaned him his city gates, and loaned him his Persian Express Card to cover Persian Express Card to cover incidental expenses. incidental expenses. (Pause & (Pause & hold up Credit Card.)hold up Credit Card.)

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Narrator: Persian Express, Narrator: Persian Express, don’t return from exile without don’t return from exile without it. it. (Pause.) (Pause.) But then the plot But then the plot thickened…thickened…

Toby:Toby: Plot thickened? What Plot thickened? What are we? Matza soup?are we? Matza soup?

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Narrator:Narrator: Very well. Then Very well. Then entered Sanballat the Horonite entered Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite. and Tobiah the Ammonite. (The two appear in pulpit.)(The two appear in pulpit.)

Sanby:Sanby: You call this a skit? You call this a skit?

Toby:Toby: Where’s my agent? Where’s my agent? Who booked me in this Who booked me in this production?production?

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Narrator:Narrator: Yes, they were Yes, they were critics. Scripture tells us they, critics. Scripture tells us they, quote, “were very much quote, “were very much disturbed that someone had disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare come to promote the welfare of the Israelites.”of the Israelites.”

Sanby:Sanby: It’s welfare, I tell you!It’s welfare, I tell you!

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Toby:Toby: They got themselves They got themselves into this mess. They can get into this mess. They can get themselves out of it.themselves out of it.

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Narrator:Narrator: (Knee High flips to (Knee High flips to map of city walls and gates.)map of city walls and gates.) But our hero, Knee High—But our hero, Knee High—cupbearer turned civil cupbearer turned civil engineer--went right to work, engineer--went right to work, assessing the condition of the assessing the condition of the city walls & gates and the city walls & gates and the resources available to him: 40 resources available to him: 40 leaders, 45 sections of wall, leaders, 45 sections of wall, and ten gates. and ten gates.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: (Speaking like a (Speaking like a football coach drawing up a football coach drawing up a play with x’s & o’s.)play with x’s & o’s.) Hasse & Hasse & Sons, you take the Fish Gate. Sons, you take the Fish Gate. Shep, you take the Sheep Shep, you take the Sheep Gate.Gate.

Hasse:Hasse: Pardon me, sir, but how Pardon me, sir, but how are we gonna’ train the fish to are we gonna’ train the fish to use a gate?use a gate?

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: (To Audience.)(To Audience.) Fishermen? Who, but God Fishermen? Who, but God alone, could complete a alone, could complete a project using fishermen? project using fishermen? (Pause.)(Pause.) Harry, you’ve got the Harry, you’ve got the Horse Gate. E. Howard & G. Horse Gate. E. Howard & G. Gordon, you and the plumbers Gordon, you and the plumbers work on the Water Gate.work on the Water Gate.

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Bernstein:Bernstein: What about me and What about me and Woody?Woody?

Nehemiah:Nehemiah: You two follow You two follow them, Bernstein. them, Bernstein. (Pause.) (Pause.) Pete, Fountain Gate. And Pete, Fountain Gate. And bring three coins with you. bring three coins with you. Biff, you get the Dung Gate.Biff, you get the Dung Gate.

Biff:Biff: Why do I always get the Why do I always get the Dung Gate?Dung Gate?

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: No one else has No one else has hip-waders.hip-waders.

Muffy:Muffy: Like, barf me out! Like, barf me out!

Buffy:Buffy: Grody to the max! Grody to the max!

Veronica:Veronica: Like, gag me with a Like, gag me with a spoon! spoon!

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Oh, yes! Muffy, Oh, yes! Muffy, Buffy, and Veronica; you three Buffy, and Veronica; you three get the Valley Gate.get the Valley Gate.

Buffy:Buffy: Hold it, like you totally Hold it, like you totally want us to build something? want us to build something?

Veronica:Veronica: Muffy, Hello? Like, Muffy, Hello? Like, who else are they gonna get to who else are they gonna get to build the Valley Gate?build the Valley Gate?

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Buffy:Buffy: Like we could build a Like we could build a mall, and call it “The Hinnom mall, and call it “The Hinnom Valley Mall.” Valley Mall.”

Veronica:Veronica: “The Mall of Judah.”“The Mall of Judah.”

Muffy:Muffy: I’m kind of partial to I’m kind of partial to “The Jordan River Mall.”“The Jordan River Mall.”

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Veronica:Veronica: Knee High, like this Knee High, like this is so, like, totally awesome. is so, like, totally awesome.

Buffy:Buffy: Tubular! Yeah, and like Tubular! Yeah, and like we can totally catch some, we can totally catch some, like, totally awesome UV's.like, totally awesome UV's.

Muffy:Muffy: (Hands on the hips, (Hands on the hips, eyebrows raised and a eyebrows raised and a shocked facial expression).shocked facial expression). Are you serious? UV’s? I’m SO Are you serious? UV’s? I’m SO sure!sure!

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Buffy:Buffy: Muffy, it’s an outside Muffy, it’s an outside job, duh? job, duh?

Muffy:Muffy: As if! As if!

Veronica:Veronica: For sure! For sure!

Buffy:Buffy: Whatever! Whatever!

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Hmm…come to Hmm…come to think of it, maybe fishermen think of it, maybe fishermen aren’t so bad after all. aren’t so bad after all. (To (To audience.) audience.) And you wonder And you wonder why I pray all the time? why I pray all the time? (To (To Team.) Team.) All right, now let’s win All right, now let’s win one for Yom Kipper. Ready, one for Yom Kipper. Ready, break break (all Clap).(all Clap).

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Toby:Toby: What are those feeble What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore Jews doing? Will they restore their wall and offer their their wall and offer their sacrifices?sacrifices?

Sandby:Sandby: Will they finish in a Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps back to life from those heaps of rubble?of rubble?

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Toby:Toby: Why their walls won’t Why their walls won’t even stand the weight of a even stand the weight of a small fox, let alone enemy small fox, let alone enemy combatants.combatants.

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Narrator:Narrator: Further, Knee High’s Further, Knee High’s critics urged people to come critics urged people to come out and vandalize the project, out and vandalize the project, so the workers had to split so the workers had to split their time between building their time between building and standing guard against and standing guard against vandals. (Cont’d)vandals. (Cont’d)

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Narrator: But still, Knee Narrator: But still, Knee High’s work force was High’s work force was committed, staying on the job committed, staying on the job day and night, which led to day and night, which led to some labor unrest, and even a some labor unrest, and even a mortgage and loan crisis, mortgage and loan crisis, recorded in Nehemiah 5. recorded in Nehemiah 5.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: (Hank, Hasse, (Hank, Hasse, Bernstein, Biff & Veronica Bernstein, Biff & Veronica approach Nehemiah.) approach Nehemiah.) Good Good people of Jerusalem, we’re people of Jerusalem, we’re progressing so well, aren’t progressing so well, aren’t we?we?

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Hank:Hank: Oh, Knee High, far be it Oh, Knee High, far be it from us Israelites as a people from us Israelites as a people to complain, but in order for to complain, but in order for us stay alive, we must have us stay alive, we must have food to eat. Only we have food to eat. Only we have nothing, having to spend all nothing, having to spend all our time working on the wall.our time working on the wall.

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Hasse:Hasse: We are mortgaging our We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards and our fields, our vineyards and our homes to get food during the homes to get food during the famine.famine.

Bernstein:Bernstein: We have had to We have had to borrow money to pay the borrow money to pay the king's tax on our fields and king's tax on our fields and vineyards. vineyards.

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Biff:Biff: Some of us have had to Some of us have had to mortgage our fields and mortgage our fields and vineyards. vineyards.

Hank:Hank: And some of us have And some of us have even had to sell our sons and even had to sell our sons and daughters into slavery as daughters into slavery as collateral because our fields collateral because our fields and our vineyards already and our vineyards already belong to others.belong to others.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: And you?And you?

Veronica:Veronica: Duh, like I totally Duh, like I totally broke a nail!broke a nail!

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Narrator:Narrator: When Knee High When Knee High heard their outcry he went to heard their outcry he went to the creditors and lenders to the creditors and lenders to arrange for cancellation of arrange for cancellation of their debt and made their debt and made corrections to ease the corrections to ease the mortgage crisis, took a cut in mortgage crisis, took a cut in his own pay, and even bought his own pay, and even bought some new nail polish for some new nail polish for Veronica. (Cont’d)Veronica. (Cont’d)

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Narrator: But having failed at Narrator: But having failed at stopping the progress on the stopping the progress on the wall, Knee High’s critics tried wall, Knee High’s critics tried to distract Knee High from the to distract Knee High from the task at hand, as recorded in task at hand, as recorded in chapter 7.chapter 7.

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Sanby:Sanby: Toby, take another Toby, take another letter to Knee High. The wall is letter to Knee High. The wall is done and only the gates done and only the gates remain. We have to get him remain. We have to get him away from the project before away from the project before it’s completed. it’s completed.

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Toby:Toby: We’ve sent Knee High We’ve sent Knee High four letters already. Any four letters already. Any ordinary slouch would jump at ordinary slouch would jump at a chance to ditch a project like a chance to ditch a project like that for a little rest and that for a little rest and relaxation. relaxation.

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Sanby:Sanby: I guess he really isn’t I guess he really isn’t interested in a time share in interested in a time share in Branson. I think it’s time for a Branson. I think it’s time for a more direct threat. more direct threat.

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Toby:Toby: Something like: “Dear Something like: “Dear Mr. Nehemiah, you’ll be Mr. Nehemiah, you’ll be swimming the Euphrates in swimming the Euphrates in concrete water shoes if you concrete water shoes if you don’t come see us. Warmest don’t come see us. Warmest regards, Sanballat & regards, Sanballat & Associates.”Associates.”

Sanby:Sanby: Real subtle, Toby.Real subtle, Toby.

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Toby:Toby: Okay, how about this: Okay, how about this: Dear Mr. Nehemiah, the word Dear Mr. Nehemiah, the word on the streets is that you are on the streets is that you are about done with the wall, you about done with the wall, you are ready to declare yourself are ready to declare yourself King of Judah, and you’ve even King of Judah, and you’ve even arranged for Billy Graham to arranged for Billy Graham to come pray at your coronation. come pray at your coronation. (Cont’d)(Cont’d)

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Toby: You wouldn’t want this Toby: You wouldn’t want this word to reach King Art, if you word to reach King Art, if you know what we mean. Yours know what we mean. Yours Truly, Sanballat & Associates.Truly, Sanballat & Associates.

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Narrator:Narrator: They delivered the They delivered the letter, and even had another letter, and even had another associate contact Knee High to associate contact Knee High to imply that he was in grave imply that he was in grave danger of being seized for his danger of being seized for his acts of treason.(Cont’d)acts of treason.(Cont’d)

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Narrator: Still, Knee High Narrator: Still, Knee High remained faithful, and the remained faithful, and the wall--which had sat in ruins for wall--which had sat in ruins for nearly half a century--was nearly half a century--was completely rebuilt by by completely rebuilt by by October 445 B.C., in only fifty-October 445 B.C., in only fifty-two days. God has Big Plans, two days. God has Big Plans, and he completes them.and he completes them.

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Nehemiah:Nehemiah: Even in the Even in the unlikeliest of circumstances, in unlikeliest of circumstances, in the unlikeliest time frame, the unlikeliest time frame, using the unlikeliest cast of using the unlikeliest cast of Characters. Characters.

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Art:Art: Now to him who is able Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is according to his power that is at work within us, Amen!at work within us, Amen!

Entire Cast:Entire Cast: Amen.Amen.