06 ela3 examplesstudentwriting 20131016

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Examples of the

Standards for

Students Writing 2013

EnglishLanguage Arts

Grade 3

Narrative Writing


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Contacts

Assessment Sector Achievement Testing Unit

Phone 780-427-0010OR toll-free 310-0000, then dial or ask for 780-427-0010

FAX 780-422-4474

Email Addresses

Director Ken Marcellus [email protected] Manager Deanna Wiens [email protected] Darrel Tripp [email protected]

Other Information

Do you need information on the Achievement Testing Program?

Follow these steps for easy access to our website:

Step 1: Type education.alberta.caStep 2: Click on the tab labelled TeachersStep 3: Scroll down toAdditional Programs and ServicesStep 4: Click on Provincial TestingStep 5: Scroll down toAchievement Testsand click on it

On theAchievement Testsweb page, there is a specific link to Subject Bulletinsthat providesstudents and teachers with information about the achievement tests scheduled for the currentschool year. Please share the contents of the Grade 3 English Language Arts Subject Bulletinparticularly the sample questions, writing assignments, and scoring criteriawith your students.

There is a specific link on this web page toExamples of the Standards for Students Writing.These documents contain examples of student writing that meets or exceeds the acceptablestandardfor student achievement on Part A: Writingof the 2008 to 2013 Grade 3 EnglishLanguage Arts achievement tests. These samples are intended to be used to enhance studentswriting and to assist teachers in assessing student writing relative to the standards embedded inthe scoring criteria in the scoring guides. TheAdditional Resourceslink will enable you to accessthe one-page version of the Grade 3 English Language Arts (Narrative) Scoring Guide.

Copyright 2014, the Crown in Right of Alberta, as represented by the Minister of Education, AlbertaEducation, Assessment Sector, 44 Capital Boulevard, 10044 108 Street NW, Edmonton, Alberta T5J 5E6,and its licensors. All rights reserved.

Special permissionis granted to Alberta educators onlyto reproduce, for educational purposes and ona non-profit basis, parts of this document that do not contain excerpted material.

Excerpted material in this document shall not be reproduced without the written permission of the originalpublisher (see credits, where applicable).
http://education.alberta.ca/teachers.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/bulletins.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/examples_stand.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/toolkit.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/toolkit.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/examples_stand.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement/bulletins.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing/achievement.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/admin/testing.aspxhttp://education.alberta.ca/teachers.aspx


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Contents

Introduction ......................................................................................................................... 1

Maintaining Consistent Standards ...................................................................................... 2

Local Marking ..................................................................................................................... 3Scoring ................................................................................................................................ 4

Scoring Guides .................................................................................................................... 5

Part A: WritingDescription and Instructions ................................................................. 10

Narrative Writing Assignment .......................................................................................... 11

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A) ................................................................................ 12

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A) .......................................................... 15

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B) ................................................................................ 16

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B) .......................................................... 20

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C) ................................................................................ 21

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C) .......................................................... 24

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D) ................................................................................ 25

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D) .......................................................... 30

Student ExemplarProficient (A) .................................................................................... 31

Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (A) .............................................................. 36

Student ExemplarProficient (B) .................................................................................... 37

Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (B) .............................................................. 42

Student ExemplarExcellent (A) .................................................................................... 43Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent (A) .............................................................. 48

Student ExemplarExcellent (B) .................................................................................... 49

Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent (B) .............................................................. 53


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Introduction

To provide each paper with the most accurate and impartial judgment possible, use onlythe scoring criteria and the standards set by the Exemplars and Rationales. Each studentis a person trying to do his or her very best. All students are completely reliant on yourcareful, professional consideration of their work.

Markers are responsible for

reviewing and internalizing the scoring criteria and applying them to student writing

applying the scoring criteria impartially, independently, and consistently to allpapers

refraining from marking a response if personal biasessuch as the studentshandwriting, development of topic, idiosyncrasies of voice, and/or political or religiouspreferenceinterfere with an impartial judgment of the response

ensuring that every paper is scored fairly according to the scoring criteria in accordance with the standards reflected in the Exemplars and Rationales

The scores awarded to student papers must be based solely on the scoring criteriaand reference to the Exemplars and Rationales. Fairness to all students is the mostimportant requirement of the marking process.

Please feel free to contact one of the Achievement Testing Program members to discussany questions or concerns.


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Maintaining Consistent Standards

For all achievement test scoring sessions, working groups of teachers for ExemplarSelection, Exemplar Validation, and Standards Confirmation are used to establishexpectations for student work in relation to the scoring criteria and to ensure that scoringis consistent within and between marking sessions. These working groups ensure thatmarks are valid, reliable, and fair measures of student achievement.

Exemplar Selection Working GroupExemplars are selections of student work, taken from field tests, that best illustrate thescoring criteria. The Exemplar Selection Working Group is composed of experiencedteachers from various regions of the province. Working-group members read a largesample of students written responses to the picture prompt and select responses thatbest match the standards established in the Exemplars and Rationales from the previousmarking session. The working group then writes rationales that explain the relationshipbetween each Exemplar and the scoring criteria in each scoring category.

Exemplar Validation Working GroupThe Exemplar Validation Working Group is composed of experienced teachers fromvarious provincial regions, and it reviews and approves the Exemplars and Rationalesthat have been prepared for markers. The working group ensures that the Rationalesaccurately reflect the descriptors in the Scoring Guide and verifies that appropriate andaccurate references have been made to student work. Working-group members also striveto ensure that there is clarity within the Rationales.

Standards Confirmation Working GroupTeachers from throughout the province who serve on the Standards ConfirmationWorking Group read a large sample of students written responses to confirm theappropriateness of the standards set by the Exemplars selected from the field tests when

compared with actual student work on the Achievement Test. This working-group ensuresthat the Exemplars and Rationales are appropriate for central marking, and working groupmembers also select student responses that are to be used for daily Reliability Reviews.Once a day, all markers score a copy of the same paper so that inter-rater reliability ismaintained. Reliability Reviews confirm that all markers are consistently awarding scoresthat accurately reflect the standards embedded in the scoring criteria.

Working Groups for Exemplar Selection, Exemplar Validation, and StandardsConfirmation are part of a complex set of processes that have evolved over the yearsof achievement test administration. They are crucial to ensuring that standards areconsistently and fairly applied to student work.


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3

Local Marking

Classroom teachers can mark students writing using the scoring guides in this documentbefore returning the tests to Alberta Education. All papers are marked centrally inEdmonton in July.

To support local marking, Exemplars of students writing and the correspondingRationales in this document exemplify the scoring criteria. These Exemplars are not to beshared with studentsand must be returned to Alberta Educationwith the tests.

Scores awarded locally can be submitted to Alberta Education and will be used as thefirst reading of a students response. Local markers are to use the For Teacher Use Onlysection on the back of the Part A: Writingtest booklet to record their scores by filling inthe appropriate circles. The School Codeand Accommodations Usedsections shouldalso be completed. If a teacher wants to know how locally awarded scores comparewith the scores the tests receive when marked centrally, he or she must also fill in theID Number. Each teacher creates and then records a personal ID number in the area

provided on the back of each students booklet. No two teachers from the same schoolshould use the same ID number. No other marks are to be made on the test booklet by theteacher.

Tests are to be returned to Alberta Education according to the scheduling informationin the online General Information Bulletin. The tests will then be marked centrally byAlberta Education as the second reading. Both sets of scores are used when calculatingeach students final mark. In the case of a discrepancy between these two sets of scores,papers will be adjudicated by a third reading, which will determine the final scores thata paper is awarded. In this way, valid and reliable individual and group results can bereported. Papers that are not marked locallyby teachers will be marked centrally onlyonce.

After central marking has been completed and school reports have been sent tothe schools, teachers who submitted their scores with an ID number will receive aconfidential report on their marking. This report is called the Local Marker Reportandincludes the locally awarded scores, third-read scores if applicable, and the final scoresassigned.

Teachers may make photocopies of students writing from only the EnglishLanguage ArtsPart A: Writingtests for inclusion in portfolios of the years work.Copies can be made for parents who request them.


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Scoring

To determine a students mark, convert the word descriptors to the following numericvalues:

Excellent = 5Proficient = 4Satisfactory = 3Limited = 2Poor = 1

Use the following information to assign the score for each students test.

1. Assign a score of 1 to 5 for each of content, organization, sentencestructure,vocabulary, and conventions.

2. Multiply the scores for contentand organizationby 2, as these categories are worthtwice as much as the other categories.

Maximum score possible for Narrative Writing = 35

The mark for Part A: Writingis worth 50% of the total mark for the Grade 3 EnglishLanguage Arts Achievement Test

Teachers may make a photocopy of a students writing from the English LanguageArtsPart A: Writingtest for inclusion in a portfolio of the years work. Copies canalso be made for parents who request them.


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Scoring Guides

Content

Focus

When marking Contentappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider howeffectively the writer

establishes the relationship between events, actions, and the context (situation) uses specific details demonstrates the reader/writer relationship (voice)

Excellent

E

Events, actions, and/or ideas are creative and are consistent withthe context established by the writer.

Details are precise and consistently effective. The writing is confident, holds the readers interest, and presents a

well-supported main idea.

Proficient

Pf

Events, actions, and/or ideas are intentionally chosen and areappropriate for the context established by the writer.

Details are specific and usually effective. The writing is purposeful, draws the readers interest, and presents

a supported main idea.

Satisfactory

S

Events, actions, and/or ideas are generally appropriate for thecontext established by the writer.

Details are general and may be predictable but are appropriate. The writing is straightforward and generally holds the readers

interest, and provides some support for a main idea.

Limited

L

Events, actions, and/or ideas are vague and may not be appropriatefor the context established by the writer.

Details are few and/or may be repetitive. The writing is ambiguous, it does not hold the readers interest,

and the main idea is inadequately developed.

Poor

P

Events, actions, and/or ideas are undeveloped and/orinappropriate.

Details are scant. The writing is confusing and/or frustrating for the reader, and a

main idea is lacking.

Insufficient

INS

The marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to fulfill the

assignment, or the writing is so deficient in length that it is notpossible to assess Content.

Note: Contentand Organizationare weighted to be worth twice as much as each ofthe other categories.


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Organization

Focus

When marking Organizationappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should considerhow effectively the writer

introduces the response establishes the connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details, and/or

characters brings closure to the writing

Excellent

E

The beginning is purposeful and effectively establishes events,characters, and/or setting, and provides direction for the writing.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are developed and consistently maintained. The ending effectively ties events and/or actions together.

Proficient

Pf

The beginning clearly establishes events, characters, and/orsetting, and provides direction for the writing.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,and/or characters are usually maintained.

The ending clearly provides an appropriate finish for events and/or actions.

Satisfactory

S

The beginning directly presents information about events,characters, and/or setting.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are generally maintained. The ending is predictable and/or may be contrived but isconnected to events and/or actions.

Limited

L

The beginning presents information about events, characters, and/or setting but lacks direction.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,and/or characters are unclear or inconsistent.

The ending is predictable and/or contrived.

Poor

P

The beginning provides little information and/or is ineffective. Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are missing. The ending, if present, is unconnected to the events and/or actions.

Insufficient

INS

The writing has been awarded an INS for Content.



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Sentence Structure

Focus

When marking Sentence Structureappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker shouldconsider how effectively the writer

controls sentence structure uses different sentence patterns and lengths uses a variety of sentence beginnings

Length and complexity of response must be considered.

Excellent

E

Sentence structure is consistently controlled. Sentence type and length are varied and effective.

Sentence beginnings are consistently varied.

Proficient

Pf

Sentence structure is usually controlled. Sentence type and length are usually varied and effective. Sentence beginnings are often varied.

Satisfactory

S

Sentence structure is generally controlled but may occasionallyimpede the meaning.

Sentences may vary in type and length. Some variety of sentence beginnings is evident.

Limited

L

Sentence structure is sometimes lacking control, and this oftenimpedes meaning.

There is little variation in sentence type and/or length. There is little variety of sentence beginnings.

Poor

P

Thought units are difficult to recognize, and this severely impedesthe meaning.

There is no variation in sentence type and/or length. There is no variety of sentence beginnings.

Insufficient

INS




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Vocabulary

Focus

When marking Vocabularyappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider theextent to which the writer uses

words appropriately expressions effectively words and expressions together to enhance the writing


Excellent

E

Well-chosen words are used effectively. Expressions are consistently precise and effective.

Words and expressions are used to create vivid images andconsistently enhance the writing.

Proficient

Pf

Well-chosen words are often used. Expressions are usually specific and effective. Words and expressions are descriptive and often enhance the

writing.

Satisfactory

S

Words chosen tend to be common or ordinary. Expressions are usually more general than specific. Words and expressions sometimes enhance the writing.

Limited

L

Words used indicate a lack of vocabulary.

Expressions are simplistic and/or ineffective. Words and expressions are basic and/or may detract from the

writing.

Poor

P

Words chosen are sometimes inappropriate and/or misused. Expressions are misused or missing. Words and expressions are simple and/or inadequate.

Insufficient

INS




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Conventions

Focus

When marking Conventionsappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider theextent to which the writer

uses end punctuation and capitalization controls spelling controls the usage of language (grammar) and the clarity of communication

Proportion of error to length and complexity of response must be considered.

Excellent

E

End punctuation and capitalization are essentially correct. Most words, familiar and unfamiliar, are spelled correctly;

spelling errors are understandable slips. Errors that are present do not affect the clarity or effectiveness of

communication.

Proficient

Pf

End punctuation and capitalization are usually correct. Most familiar words are spelled correctly; spelling errors are

slips; unfamiliar words may be spelled phonetically. Errors that are present rarely affect the clarity of communication.

Satisfactory

S

Conventional end punctuation and capitalization are generallycorrect.

Many familiar words are spelled correctly; errors suggest unevencontrol of spelling rules; unfamiliar words are generally spelled

phonetically. Errors are sometimes intrusive and may affect the clarity ofcommunication.

Limited

L

End punctuation and capitalization, when present, are inconsistent. Many familiar words are misspelled and/or spelled phonetically. Errors interfere with the clarity of communication.

Poor

P

There is little, if any, evidence that the writer understands correctuse of end punctuation and capitalization.

Words may be difficult to discern and are generally spelledphonetically.

Communication is not clear.

Insufficient

INS




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Part A: WritingDescription and Instructions

2013

Grade 3 Achievement Test

English Language Arts

Part A: Writing

Description

For this test, you will have 10 minutes for discussion and 60 minutes forplanning and writing. You may take up to 30 extra minutes to completethe test if you need more time.

Instructions

Follow along as your teacher reads aloud the instructions on page 1.

Talk with your classmates about the picture in groups of two to four,or think about it by yourself. During this time, you may record your ideason page 2.

Plan your writing on page 2 in whichever way you choose (web, list,pictures, etc.).

Print or write your best storyas neatly as you can. Begin on page 3.

When you have finished, check your work carefullyand make anynecessary changes.

You may use your personal dictionary and/or a wall of words posted inyour classroom.

You may use a published dictionary and a thesaurus.

You do not have to fill all the pages with writing. If you need more pages,ask your teacher.

Additional Instructions for Students Using Word Processors

Format your work using an easy-to-read12-point or larger font such as

Times. Double-space your final copy.

Staple your final printed work to the page indicated for word-processedwork.


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Narrative Writing Assignment

Look carefully at the picture.

Using the picture, write a story.

When writing your story, be sure to

usethe picture

consideryour audience

focuson your purpose

organizeyour ideas

usevocabulary that is interesting and descriptive

IllustrationbyGillianRoberts.

TheCodeKingsCastle.

RainbowReaders,

Lev

el3.

Seoul,Korea:CompassPublishing,

2011.

Copyright/CourtesyofCompas

sPublishing.


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A)

Illustration by Gillian Roberts. The Code Kings Castle. Rainbow Readers, Level 3. Seoul, Korea: CompassPublishing, 2011. Copyright/Courtesy of Compass Publishing.


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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A)

Title of Paper: The SacaY daY

Reporting Category

S

Content

S Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the contextestablished by the writer (Luc and Emma are playing outside, fall in a hole,search for a way out, and eventually escape).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(startedto run, it was a hole in the rofe, and Luc climed up).

S The writingis straightforwardand generally holds the readers interest,and provides some supportfor a main idea.

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters, and

setting (Luc and Emma are outside when they fall in a hole and are veryfrightened).

S Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, andcharacters are generally maintained(once the children calm down theylook for ways to get out of the hole, eventually find an opening in the roof,pile up stones, and climb out).

S The endingis predictableand is connectedto events and actions (luchuged his dad and emma huged her mom and they no not Play their nomore).

L

Sentence Structure

S Sentence structureis generally controlled.

L There is little variationin sentence typeand length.

L There is little varietyof sentence beginnings(One, Luc, and Then).


S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(playing, stop, andhome).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (One day andScardy Kat).

S Wordsand expressions sometimes enhancethe writing (stared to run insrcels, lefs evey were, and Piled it up).

L

Conventions

L End punctuation andcapitalization areinconsistent.

L Many familiarwordsare misspelledor spelled phonetically(side forsaid, laked for locked, and huged for hugged).

L Errorsinterferewith the clarityof communication (cyitle for quietly,emma found stone and Piled it uP, and they no not Play their no more).



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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B)

Title of Paper: The capter of the night

Reporting Category

S

ContentS Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the context

established by the writer (Mike and Molly are walking through a leakyhallway when something shiny runs by them, they chase it, discover it is aknight, and use a rope and net to stop the knight).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(sawsomething shiny and siver, they ran after it, and the net fell on thenight).

S The writingis straightforwardand generally holds the readers interest,and provides some supportfor a main idea.

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters,and setting (mike and molly walkthrough the dark and leky hallway).

S Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, andcharacters are generally maintained(they saw somthing shiny and siver,they ran after it, they inded up right infrot of a tall shiny siver night,they fond a rop and a net, they teyed the rop to the net and hanged thenet on to the roof, and pulled the rop the net fell on the night).

S The endingis predictablebut is connectedto events and actions (Thenight got stuck. Mike and molly dsied to never go in the dark leky hallwayever again).

S

Sentence Structure

S Sentence structureis generally controlled.

S Sentences may varyin typeand length(They had to find out what it wasso they ran after it and The night got stuck).

S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (As they were,Suddenly, and Mike and molly).

S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(walking, hanged, andpulled).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (they inded up andright infrot).

S Wordsand expressionssometimes enhancethe writing (Drip, drop, drip,drop, slow as a snayl, and pair of stares).

S

ConventionsS Conventional end punctuationand capitalizationare generally correct.

S Many familiar wordsare spelled correctly; errors suggest unevencontrolof spelling rules (runing for running, rop for rope, andteyed for tied); unfamiliar wordsare generally spelled phonetically(leky for leaky, stares for stairs, and inded for ended).

S Errorsare sometimes intrusiveand may affectthe clarityofcommunication.


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C)

Title of Paper: The tunnel

Reporting Category

S

ContentS Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the context

established by the writer (Michel and Jane go camping, explore theforest, find an old man, follow him, and go back to their parents).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(They were tired, sat on the rock, and explored the place).

S The writingis straightforwardand generally holds the readersinterest, and provides some supportfor a main idea.

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters,and setting (Jane and Michel are best friends and They were reallyexcited to go camping).

S Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, andcharacters are generally maintained(They finally got there, thereparents said yes, so off they went! and They explored the place andthen they found an old man).

S The endingis predictablebut is connectedto events and actions(Did you have a good time? asked Janes mother O ya said Janeand Michel at the same time).

Pf

Sentence Structure

Pf Sentence structureis usuallycontrolled.

Pf Sentence type andlength areusually varied andeffective(Imcoming shouted Michel and They were tired so Jane sat on a rock

and Michel streched over on a wall).S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (They, But when,

and Did you).

S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(tired, cool, andfollowed).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (Hurry up, sooff they went, and O ya).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing(finally got there, flip Michel fliped to the other side of the wall,Wow! and Come with me youngins).

Pf

ConventionsPf End punctuationand capitalizationare usually correct.

Pf Most familiarwords are spelled correctly, spelling errors are slips(there for their and fliped for flipped); unfamiliar wordsmaybe spelled phonetically (exlamed for exclaimed and streched forstretched).

Pf Errorsthat are present rarely affectthe clarityof communication.


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D)

Title of Paper: The Haunted Dungon

Reporting Category

S

ContentPf Events, actions, and ideasare intentionally chosen and areappropriate

for the contextestablished by the writer (Charllet and Braden follow a mapinto a spooky forest and find a haunted dungeon, they become trapped in thedungeon, and eventually some mice help them out).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(enteredthe valley, ran to the haunted dungun, wanted to go back home, canyou help us, and finally got out).

S The writingis straightforwardand generally holds the readers interest, andprovides some supportfor a main idea.

Pf

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting andprovides direction(Crunch!chomp!crunch! went the leaves and the deadgrass as Charllet and Braden followed the map they found into the sookyforest).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, andcharacters are usually maintained(Charllet and Braden follow a map intoa forest and discover a haunted dungeon, they decide to go inside but cannotfind a way out, and finally some mice agree to help them).

S The endingis predictablebut is connected to events and actions (Whenthey finally got out they said thanks to the mice and promised they wouldvisit the mice whenever they can).

Pf

Sentence Structure

Pf Sentence structureis usually controlled.Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(Come on!

shouted Charllet! They tried and tried but couldnt find a way out! andThe mice nodded).

Pf Sentence beginningsare often varied. (Hoot! Hoot! Ahhhh! andAfter a while).

Pf

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(went, haunted,shouted, and running).

Pf Expressions are usually specificand effective(Uhmaybe,Comin! Hi little fellas! and the best of friends).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing(dead grass, entered the valley, finally caught his breath, and Y-youthink this place is haunted?).

Pf

Conventions

E End punctuationand capitalizationare essentially correct.

Pf Most familiarwordsare spelled correctly, spelling errors are slips(sooky for spooky and finnally for finally); unfamiliar wordsmaybe spelled phonetically(dungun for dungeon).



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Student ExemplarProficient (A)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (A)

Title of Paper: No Title

Reporting Category

Pf

ContentPf Events, actions, and ideasare intentionally chosen and are appropriatefor

the contextestablished by the writer (Two boys get lost because their footprintsdisappear in the rain, they see a castle and go in, mice chase them, they hide in aroom, and eventually dig themselves out of the castle and escape).

Pf Detailsare specificand usually effective(refreshing air, rushed to theforest, locked the door behind them, and found some words that said dighere).

Pf The writingis purposeful, draws the readers interest and presents a supportedmain idea.

Pf

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters, andsetting ( Zach and Ahmed get permission to go and play in the forest).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and charactersare usually maintained(Zach and Ahmed go to forest, leave footprints, arainstorm occurs, their footprints get washed away, suddenly they find a castle,are chased by mice, find a room in the castle and lock themselves in it, amessage in the room tells them how to get home).

Pf The endingclearly provides an appropriate finishfor events and actions (ranin the house and huged their mom, and Im never going into a stranger homewith out premesher agin Ahmed said to Zach).

Pf

Sentence Structure

E Sentence structureis consistentlycontrolled.

Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(Mom can we play,out in the refreshing air, they asked and They saw a castle and walked in).

Pf Sentence beginningsare often varied(Zoom, How about, Oh-oh, andQuick).

Pf

Vocabulary

Pf Well-chosen wordsare oftenused (refreshing, smuring, paniced, anddusted).

Pf Expressionsare usually specificand effective(rain started poring like out of abucket, Hello, anyone home, and ended up on their front step).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing(thunder boomed, fire red eyes, Quick, into that room, and they dug,

and dug, and dug, and dug).

Pf

Conventions


Pf Most familiar wordsare spelled correctly, spelling errors are slips (mothefor mother); unfamiliar wordsmay be spelled phonetically.(smuring forsmearing, vampier for vampire, and paniced for panicked).

Pf Errorsthat are present rarely affectthe clarityof communication (premesherfor permission).


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Student ExemplarProficient (B)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (B)

Title of Paper: Saly and Leo

Reporting Category

E

ContentE Events, actions, and ideasare creative and areconsistent with the context

established by the writer (Sally has five pet mice that escape, she asks herfriend Leo to help her find them, Leo recalls that there is a temple in town thathas cheese in it, Sally and Leo go to the temple and find the missing mice).

Pf Detailsare specificand usually effective(Saly had five pet mice, somecookies and a blanket, brain-stormed on Leos porch, cheese that lastsforever, and a staircase that had a sign on it).

E The writingis confident, holds the readers interest and presents a well-supported main idea.

Pf

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting, and providesdirectionfor the writing (Sally lives in Moose Jaw, she has five pet mice, andshe plans to have a picnic with them in her backyard).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and charactersare usually maintained(Sallys mice run away while she is getting items fortheir picnic, Sally turns to her friend Leo for help, together they determine thatthe mice might be in a temple that has long-lasting cheese in it, they explore thetemple and eventually find Sallys mice).

E The endingeffectively tiesevents and actions together(When Sally and Leoexited the stairs they found no cheese at all but what they saw was five cheesefilled mice!).

E

Sentence Structure

E Sentence structureis consistently controlled.Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(But when she

came back, Salys mice were gone! Suddenly, Leo had an idea, and It wasvery dark until Saly brought out a flashlight).

E Sentence beginningsare consistently varied(In the town, Together, In notime at all, Suddenly, and It read).

Pf

Vocabulary

Pf Well-chosenwords are often used (skiped, sorrow, brain-stormed, anddarted).

E Expressionsare consistently preciseand effective(loved dearly, In a flash,sob with confusion, it is said, and Without a second thought).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing (onceheared, cheese that lasts forever, A few paces later, and no cheese at all).

E

Conventions


E Most wordsfamiliar and unfamiliar, are spelled correctly; spelling errors areunderstandable slips (skiped for skipped and heared for heard).

E Errorsthat are present do not affectthe clarityor effectivenessofcommunication.


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Student ExemplarExcellent (A)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent (A)

Title of Paper: Spooks of a castle

Reporting Category

E

ContentE Events, actions, and ideasare creativeand are consistentwith the context

established by the writer (Tim and Lily are on vacation at a spooky castle, they leanon a wall, flip into a hallway, do not notice a warning sign, enter a dangerous room,confront a monster, and find a way to escape).

E Detailsare preciseand consistently effective(apeared in a gloomy hallway, signthat said doom ahead, growling was all around them, Lily distracted the monster,and put the key gently on the floor).

E The writingis confident, holds the readers interest and presents a well-supportedmain idea.

E

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting, and providesdirectionfor the writing (Tim and Lily return from a walk to the spooky castle wherethey are staying, they lean on a wall and discover a hidden hallway).

E Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and charactersare developedand consistently maintained(During their exploration of a hiddenhallway they dont notice a sign warning them of danger and they enter and arelocked in a room where a monster lives, they quickly devise an escape plan andmanage to get away).

E The ending effectivelytiesevents and actions together(sure enough they wereback in the liveing room and I am never going to lean against a wall again, andMe too giggled Tim).

E

Sentence Structure

E Sentence structureis consistently controlled.E Sentence typeand lengthare variedand effective(Come on lets go Lily

wispered, It felt cold and wet, and Suddenly Tim saw a Key behind themonster).

E Sentence beginningsare consistently varied(Whew, Lily and Tim, and Oldlights).

E

Vocabulary

E Well-chosen wordsare used effectively(skarlet, flickered, twisted, shrieked,and distracted).

E Expressionsare consistently preciseand effective(not just any door, smokebillowed, this is it, and bet you cant get me).

E Wordsand expressionsare used to create vivid imagesand consistently enhancethe writing (covered from head to toe in slime, ruby red eyes glared, clawsscrachting, fiddled with the doorknob, and darted out).

Pf

Conventions

Pf End punctuationand capitalizationare usually correct.

Pf Most familiarwordsare spelled correctly; spelling errors are slips (apeared forappeared and agian for again); unfamiliar wordsmay be spelled phonetically(skarlet for scarlet, wispered for whispered and quitly for quietly).



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Student ExemplarExcellent (B)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent (B)

Title of Paper: The map of paradise

Reporting Category

E

ContentE Events, actions, and ideasare creativeand are consistentwith the contextestablishedby the writer (Sam and Emily dig up a chest containing a map that leads to a treasure,they set off in search for it and pass a sweet shop and a joke shop on their way,eventually they find a castle and the treasure which they take home to their parents).

E Detailsare preciseand consistently effective(they hit something hard, unlockedthe lock, Mabye if we follow the map-, putting up posters for his new product,and At the end of the hallway, they saw lots of light).

E The writingis confident, holds the readers interest and presents a well-supportedmain idea.

E

Organization

E The beginningis purposefuland effectively establishesevents, characters, and

setting, and provides directionfor the writing (Sam and Emily are digging in theirbackyard when they discover a treasure chestforeshadowing the treasure they willeventually findthat contains a map).

E Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters aredevelopedand consistently maintained(Emily remembers her mothers advice abouthow to open a lock, they agree that the map may lead them to gold and/or jewels, theyhave brief conversations with two storekeepers, they discover a castle and a treasure, asthey carry the treasure home, they pass the same two stores again).

E The ending effectively tiesevents and actions together(There parents were sosurprised with the gold and jewels they founed. Now they were filty rich and nevercomplained about having to have a low bank account ever again).

E

Sentence Structure

E Sentence structureis consistently controlled.E Sentence typeand lengthare variedand effective(Dig, dig, dig! Bang!

Theres a lock! And it seems to be shut tight! Stop at Zonkos joke shopthenturn right read Sam).

E Sentence beginningsare consistently varied(A boy and girl, If you, Heykids, Gold! and Through the forest).

E

Vocabulary

E Well-chosen wordsare used effectively(paradise, amazing adventure, howeld,Yikes, screeched, complained, and bank account).

E Expressionsare consistently preciseand effective( mom always says, More likea, they set of, Oooooolook, and such a scardy cat).

E Wordsand expressionsare used to create vivid imagesand consistently enhancethe

writing (who knows? Cause were on a hunt, Uh, E-E-E-Emily? packingup, preicios treasure, and filty rich).

Conventions

E End punctuation and capitalization are essentially correct

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