Issue 3,527 www.trump.press Free Distribution

The Trumpington Tribune

Friday 30th July 2021

TAKE AWAY THIEVES TAKE IT LITERALLYThieves have trashed plans to open a brand-new TakeAway. In the early hours on Wednesday morning the property was broken into. Much of the furniture and fittings were stolen including the bespoke ‘TakeAway’ sign, designed and painted by local artist Sam Delaney. The sign was going to be hung outside later that day just before a Grand Opening Ceremony when local residents would have been offered tasty appetisers and samples from the menu. Joint owners, Thomas and Lindsay Grainger have been left devastated. They told the Trumpington Tribune, ‘We invested all our savings in this venture.’ CCTV footage has provided some leads which the Police are following up. ‘It appears to have been a typical smash and grab scenario’, explained Detective Inspector Clarke. ‘The back entrance provided a perfect place for loading up a van and making a getaway from the TakeAway’, DI Clarke added. This paper has since learned that the backdoor entrance had yet to be alarmed and the thieves were able to break in and disable the system. As part of the High Street expansion plans the TakeAway facility had been given planning permission. Councillor, Alex Joseph Deacon said the Council Planning and Regeneration Department jumped at the chance to offer local people and visitors a modern dining opportunity. ‘We have also approved the Graingers’ application to expand

into the neighbouring property to provide a multi-functional eatery – takeaway, coffee shop, tearoom and restaurant’.Lindsay and Thomas Grainger moved into the area last year after their plans had been approved by the Council. ‘We wanted a new focus’, Thomas told us. Their only child, Susan, sadly died at the age of six, after battling leukaemia . Mrs Grainger said she felt twice robbed – once by the Grim Reaper and now by despicable thieves. ‘It will take us a long time to recover from this. I’m not sure that we ever will.’ Anyone with more information is asked to contact D.I. Clarke urgently at di.clarke@investteam.101.uk or phone 07956 432 238‘We are particularly interested in talking to anyone found offering cheap catering equipment for sale.’ said DI Clarke.

The Serious Stuff The Trumpington Tribune began life over six months ago, as a by-product of a WFP (Writing for Pleasure) group project, and in a strange way, the paper took on a life of its own The suggestion was made to produce a special copy in celebration of U3A events planned for August. Obviously, more unplanned events have forced us in a different direction, but we went ahead anyway, with one rule: no mention of either U3A or Covid. They belong to the real, grown up world. It could not have been achieved without a lot of hard work, and thanks are due to our dedicated team of journalists:David “Fiesta Man” Apps Susanne “Bookworm” BacciniMaggie “Big Hair” ChanBob “Need it Tomorrow” Garner

Feature - p6 Travel - p8 Sport - p13

Chaitali “Sheer Silk” MukhopadhyayColin “The Vintage” ReadJohn “The Sportsman” SanfordChristopher “Cryptic” SmithSheila “Longhand” SzzvanowskiGordon “Regicide” Thynne

Jenny “Who Suggested This” WilsonMargaret “Overnight Soak” Wilson

We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we’ve enjoyed putting it together.

If we amuse, then that makes all the effort worthwhile. If we offend, then it is someone’s else fault (yes, ask an English Teacher).

Your Editor – Trevor Truthseeker

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 2

NEWS

FESTIVAL FIESTA FUN AND FROLICS

The eagerly anticipated annual Trumpington Festival was held recently over the last weekend in July. Despite unseasonable weather the programme of events provided entertainment for all ages, with the planned music, dance, and drama filling the main marquee. Held in the field at the back of the Pig and Whistle public house, the event was opened by Major George Rille, Chair of the Parish Council, who complimented the organisers on their work for this, the 11th Trumpington Festival. Proceedings started with the choir of St Mungo’s singing songs from the musicals with choirmaster Barry Tone-Singer enthusiastically wielding the baton. Particular praise must be given to Florence Forsythia (Trumpington’s favourite florist) for her rendition of “If They Could See Me Now”. Her very

lively physical performance was only slightly marred when she slipped off the stage, and being a trouper she was straight back up finishing her number. Outside under the darkening skies the “Trumpington Laugh Aloud” section of the Festival got under way with 70-year-old Heather Grimshaw reminiscing about the time her mother got stuck on the church roof following a bell ringing session. Her amusing story was followed by farmer Bert Mucklow and his saucy tales of Trumpington folk. It was perhaps opportune that rain started to fall, stopping the numerous hecklers, and there was a quick exit by many into the pub for some shelter. Back in the marquee the Trumpington Trio played some Mozart to a small but appreciative audience. Unfortunately, the canvas marquee (generously provided by Trumpington Tenting Ltd) had a few holes in its roof

so when the rain got heavier the audience members had to move to avoid being under the numerous drips falling downwards. One of the audience suggested the Trio play Handel’s Water Music instead, but they continued with their planned pieces. Next on stage in the marquee were members of the Trumpington Players performing some dramatic, historical scenes. Lead man, Crispin Powell, looked resplendent dressed as Henry the Eighth, with female members playing five of his wives. Due to indisposition the role of Anne of Cleves was played by Jason Pemberry, who brought a lot of unexpected merriment to his scene with the King. Carl Ambrose showed his range of dramatic and comic skills in playing various quick-change characters from servants to chamber maids, and guards. With the wet weather keeping many people inside the Pig & Whistle, landlord Jim (Jumbo) Taylor organised wine tastings, followed by a beer tasting and a “who can eat the most pies” competition to aid the fund raising. Having enjoyed participating in both the wine and beer tastings Florence Forsythia (popular local florist) won the yard-of-ale contest against members of Trumpington rugby club. Usually a teetotaller, Miss Forsythia stated she was keen to support the Festival, whilst herself being supported by two of the rugby team. The planned children’s entertainer (Trumpington’s own postman Jim Jarvis dressed as Mr. Bungles) was next up in the marquee, but the show had to be

cancelled due to the lack of children. It was discovered that they were all in the pub doing a children’s quiz, organized by the landlord, with packets of crisps as prizes. And with the continuing rainfall the decision was

taken reluctantly by the Festival organisers to cancel the outdoor screening of the classic film “Singing in the Rain”. However, the film’s title song was well in evidence at the singalong session held in the packed

pub. The whole pub joined in the singing and did a conga out into the rain led by a giggly Florence Forsythia (fun loving local florist).

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 3

NEWS

FEISTY FLORIST FLORENCE FLOWERS To round the day off the pub audience went on to enjoy their own talent contest. The winner of the individual karaoke competition was a very merry, and still rather damp, Florence Forsythia for her enthusiastic and rather raunchy and inebriated rendition of “If they could see me now”. At the end she did a few high kicks, lost her balance, and unfortunately fell off the stage. But members of the Trumpington Boy Scouts were at hand to assist her with their first aid skills. Florence remains recovering at her cottage. Sunday morning it was discovered that a gate had been left unlocked overnight and a herd of cows had taken ownership of the marquee to escape the continuing rain. As the ground was now very muddy and covered with cow dung the organisers decided reluctantly to cancel that day’s events.

Trumpington Ladies on the Pull Saffron Simpson, Trumpington’s own blogger and media influencer, and member of the Trumpington Ladies victorious tug-of war team, praised the

Festival and said that it might have been only one day long, but she and her friends had really enjoyed the day and were looked forward eagerly to the next one.

TrumpingtonTurbine TurmoilA proposal to site a wind turbine on Church Hill has completely divided Trumpington. In one corner is the local branch of ‘Wind for Clean Generation’, supported by the prospective Green Party MP, Arabella Houston-Smith. They see the turbine as a small but significant contribution to the fight against global warming. In the other corner is an unlikely alliance of the Squire, the Honourable Terence Houston-Smith, Trumpington Ramblers, clients of the Black Bull and The Fox and Grapes, and the Darby and

Joan Club. They have yet to settle on a name for their alliance, but are adamant that a turbine would destroy the rural tranquillity and deter visitors. The Parish Council is divided. The vicar, Reverend Toby Austwick, had to use his casting vote, and supported the project. Challenged, he admitted that as Church Hill is only two hundred yards from the Church, the sound of the revolving blades might be audible during services. ‘But’, he said, ‘let’s hope it reminds us of the wings of angels’. At a public meeting in the Parish Hall, the Squire ridiculed the project. ‘Church Hill is nothing but a pimple. It’s not high moorland. Most days of the year, the blades will be stationary.’ He declined to

comment on the division within his own family. ‘My daughter, Arabella, is old enough to take her own decisions’ was all he would say. Asked for her views, the Honourable Arabella said, ‘I respect my father’s position. But to call Church Hill a pimple is to miss the point. It may be only 200 feet, but it’s the first high land that wind from the Urals encounters. Experts have satisfied themselves that the plan is sound. As to the effect on visitors, it will attract the go-ahead sort who sees wind energy as a vital resource. I’m glad that the vicar has agreed to bless the turbine once it’s erected’. The County planners have yet to pronounce on the scheme. A public inquiry is on the cards.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 4

NEWS

POLICE ACTIVITY UP IN HIGH FIELDPossible Lead in Vicar Murder Investigation Found by Hobbyists

The High Field has been a hive of Police activity since the end of last week. Although now cordoned off, police can be seen on hands and knees, fine tooth-combing the area and using sniffer dogs in the woods to the back of the field. This reporter understands that a significant find was made on Saturday by one of the many metal detectorists who have flocked to the High Field at weekends since a small trove of Roman coins was found there five years ago.

Interviewed by this reporter, Thomas Thorpe, the owner of the High Field, said, ‘I rent out access to my field to these detector fellows (well there are some women, as well, but not many) and they come up at weekends, mainly. ‘Don’t think they have found much since those coins a few years back – that’s what started the whole craze for it… ‘Anyway, it seems as if somebody found a knife up there. Rumour has it that it was John Brookes, that retired detective inspector who moved into the village a couple of year back. He’s a keen Detectorist – up here most weekends. ‘He had worked on Revd Victor Emmanuel‘s murder, which was never

solved, and seems as though he thought the knife could be connected….” Mr Brookes was later spotted on High Field talking to the Police Inspector in charge of the search but refused an interview with the Trumpington Times. Contacted by this reporter, Dr Sarah Emmanuel, widow of the Revd Victor, said “I very much still hope for somebody to be arrested for my late husband’s murder. It would bring me a sense of closure.” Dr Emmanuel is to be married next month to Owen Thirsby, the church organist. The police have as yet made no comment. It’s still very early stages, commented a spokesman.

Charity Capers

One of the kidnap victims pictured shortly after his release

Trumpington’s own quirky brand of fundraising hit the national headlines last week when an anonymous group of students

made daring overnight raids on 37 private houses in the town and kidnapped over 100 garden gnomes. A demand was broadcast on Radio Trumpington for a £10 (minimum) donation to be made for their safe return. It is understood that over £700 was collected and distributed between a number of charities.‘I can’t be sure,’ said Bernie “Big Ears” Barrington, one of the targeted householders, ‘and it’s only speculation, but a small vintage yellow car with red wheel arches was said to have been seen driving away from a number of the properties. I suspect that someone might have been a bit of a scamp.’

Johnnie “Justalaugh” James raised nearly £1,300 for NHS charities by undertaking his first freefall sky dive. ‘Yes, it was a bit scary,’ said Johnnie, grinning from his hospital bed, ‘and landing on the electricity pylon was a bit of a shock. It probably wasn’t the best idea to undo the safety harness to release myself. That certainly brought me down to earth. Quite a few bones broken but it was all worth it’. It is understood that Mr James’ recovery will take some six months and cost the NHS a sum in the region of £250,000.

A four-year-old Trumpington girl has raised over two hundred million pounds for child charities in just three weeks. Child Protection legislation prevents us providing

any more details, but jolly well done, Rebecca. You can be proud of your daughter, Peter and Sally

Jones, of 13 Normanville Close, Trumpington - telephone 07922

875222, email madeitbig@cash.con.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 5

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

OUTSIDE TRUMPINGTON news of the wider world, with items from our International Desk

From our Tashkent correspondent Here in the UK, and perhaps especially in Trumpington, we think of Tashkent as utterly remote, like Timbuktu. I can report that, nevertheless, it is accessible. Camels are not needed, just the wherewithal for a flight from Stansted, a mere few hundred pounds. Distant though it may seem, Tashkent is at the centre of the world of intelligence – by which I mean, not cleverness, but spies and all that stuff. By diligent investigation – hours of drinking coffee on café terraces – your Correspondent has unearthed astounding news. We are all familiar with those TV programmes in which people swop roles for a week or a month. A farmer and a postman, a Government minister and a Big Issue vendor, or a soap actress and a primary school teacher: all have proved game for a challenge. Now we are to hit the heights. None other than the Presidents of the USA and Russia are to switch. The ‘modalities’, in the jargon, are under intense discussion between the White House and the Kremlin. Ten years, even five years, ago, this would have seemed fantasy. But the rapid recent progress in ‘détente’ – abandonment of nuclear deterrents, education exchanges across the board, regular cultural exchanges (St Petersburg/Baltimore; Vladivostok/Los Angeles), ‘The Simpsons’ adapted for a Russian audience – all this and more has served to reduce mutual suspicion to a level more appropriate to allies. In six months’ time this ultimate in reality swaps will hit our screens. President for life Putin will stretch his legs under the desk in the Oval Office, President Biden will be inducted into

the Presidential Suite at the heart of the Kremlin. For one riveting month cameras will follow their every move as the two Presidents grapple with the problems of the other’s country. The leaders will not confine themselves to Washington and Moscow. President Biden hopes for a weekend at Putin’s palatial dacha on the Black Sea coast. But it’s not Camp David President Putin hankers after. It’s bear tracking in the Rockies.Trumpington TV will be there to bring

you the latest.

From our Jerusalem correspondent It never rains but it pours. By which we mean the blessings of mutual understanding continue to multiply. Yesterday it was the Korean Federation and the Libyan Accord. Today it is the Israel-Palestine Condominium. President Herzog and Vice-President Sharif will sign the new Constitution on the Temple Mount in the heart of Jerusalem. They will both attend services in the Al Aqsa Mosque and in the Great Synagogue, Tel Aviv. In the evening, the East-West Divan Orchestra will give a concert in Tel Aviv under the baton of the legendary Daniel Barenboim. It will be relayed to centres on both sides of the former divide, including Gaza City. Tomorrow, at a special ceremony attended by Heads of State from around the world – including our own King William – the last remnant of the West Bank Wall will be demolished to the accompaniment of fanfares. Jewish and Arab folk dancing will follow. The following day sees the inauguration of the highspeed railway connecting Gaza, Hebron, Jerusalem, and Nablus. The Joint Commission for Jewish-Arab Understanding will

oversee the start of the evacuation of certain of the Jewish settlements on the former West Bank.Read the Tribune Weekend edition for full coverage of these world-shaking

developments.

Right Royal Changes Following HM Queen Elizabeth’s shock abdication in March (widely believed to have been prompted by the withdrawal from public life of the former Prince of Wales in the aftermath of Camillagate II), plans are moving ahead for her coronation and formal induction as the first hereditary monarch of The United States. The move was an obvious surprise to her many ardently devoted admirers, but President Biden, quick to negotiate the arrangement following his whitewash in the November elections, has said that it was no more than a logical extension of the longstanding US admiration for the Royal Family. Her Majesty is currently enjoying her new role from the full-size replica of Balmoral situated in downtown Burbank, LA, constructed in an impressive six weeks by the family development company controlled by the former White House incumbent. It will provide a “home-from-home” as work continues on the demolition of the Lincoln Memorial to provide space for the new Buckingham PalaceThe news reported on this page would not have been possible just a few short years ago. All of this optimism leads us to speculate that in the near future the issues of the Middle East will be resolved in spectacular and peaceful fashion, with all countries, Jewish and Arab alike, choosing to shelve age old differences and come together in the creation of a single harmonious state and trading bloc stretching from the

Persian Gulf to the Mediterranean. Just Kuwait and sea.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 6

FEATURE

RONNIE CORBETT – in our series celebrating our twinned town of Croydon, we recall a comedy great

Most Trumpingtonians will know that Ronnie Corbett lived in Shirley, Croydon with his wife and daughter, but few may be aware that he was born in Edinburgh, Scotland, on 4th December 1930, and was raised and educated there The comedian, who died in 2016 aged 85, achieved such fame as one of the Two Ronnies that his solo career was often eclipsed; As his fans knew well, he worked on his own for many years, exploiting to the full both his lack of height – he was only 5ft 1in – and his undoubted talent as a comic performer‘It was revealed in a Downing St release today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men – Laurel & Hardy’ Once he had moved to London, he endured eight lean years, taking occasional engagements but mostly living on his earnings as a tennis-court superintendent, caretaker, house sitter and advertising salesman. In the RAF his friendship with the son of the actor Sir Cedric Hardwicke had first encouraged him to think about

showbusiness as a possible career. Corbett maintained that after he became a professional comedian, he had no regrets about being so small. His height had been the making of him, and he would make jokes about it as long as people thought his height was funny. ‘We've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned’ Fortunately for him, they never stopped thinking it hilarious. Such was his talent that a large hall suited his style as much as the television screen or an intimate theatre. For some years he lived in grimy digs, working in nightclubs or on the halls, and teamed up with Anne Hart, a singer whom he met at a club, who became his stooge and whom he later married. Corbett’s big chance came when he was spotted by David Frost, at Winston’s, Danny La Rue’s West End night club, and cast in his BBC show

The Frost Report (1966-67), followed by Frost on Sunday for ITV (1968-69). Television extended Corbett’s appeal. Although he had become a star in his own right before meeting Ronnie Barker, the Two Ronnies (1971-1987) remained the zenith of a television career that lasted more than 40 years. With weekly audiences of some 17 million, their programme achieved top rating throughout the 1970s and as late as 1986 was still a serious challenge to “EastEnders” and ‘Coronation Street’. ‘Earlier today a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals’ The Two Ronnies, although time-consuming and a long-standing hit, prevented neither Corbett nor Barker from appearing on their own. Corbett’s films included ‘You’re Only Young Twice’ (1952), ‘Top of the Form’ (1953), ‘Fun at St Fanny’s’ (1955), and ‘No Sex Please, We’re British’ (1973). In the theatre he played an Ugly Sister in Cinderella at the Palladium, and he made a number of appearances with Harry Secombe and Jimmy Tarbuck. ‘Sorry!’, starting in 1981, was another successful television series on his own. Corbett’s career continued along its successful path. When, with Barker, he was appointed OBE in 1978 (advanced to CBE in 2012), he was thrilled to discover that the Queen was a Two Ronnies fan. Single-minded, a man with great drive, he now was living a very full life. He published “a Small Man’s Guide to Life and Armchair Golf”.‘After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, investigating officer Detective Chief Inspector Micky McTavish has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes’ Much attached to his comfortable home, his interests outside family

included racing, soccer, cooking and woodworking – he was sometimes to be seen at the annual Woodworker

Show – but his main recreation, passion and undying love was golf.

Thank you for the laughter, Ronnie, and goodnight to you.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 7

ARTS

THEATRE

No Sex Please, We’re Prudish Third time unlucky. First it was the sudden cancelation of their planned production last February of “Murder at the Vicarage”, following the shocking murder of the Revd Emmanuel, followed by the floods that swept away the stage and costumes at the open air production of Noah and his Ark in May. And now it’s curtains for Trumpington Players as they reluctantly cancel their next production that was to be performed from the 9th to 11th September 2021. Crispin Powell, Chair of the Trumpington Players, received a letter from the Curate at St Mungo’s Church, Carl Ambrose, informing him that the production of “No Sex Please – We’re British” was inappropriate and that the Players were banned from using the Church Hall. Mr Powell stated ‘I contacted Mr Ambrose to explain that the piece was an amusing farce and not offensive, but Mr Ambrose stated that it was out of his hands and the decision stood’. When pressed about who had made

the decision all Mr Ambrose would say is that it would have been what the Revd Emmanuel would have wanted. Asked to comment about this, Major George Rille, Chair of the Parish Council, said that he was not aware of the decision and was surprised as the Players had used the Church Hall over many years producing numerous and very entertaining productions. Miss Agnes Chipstead, who is in charge of ticket sales, told our reporter that over half the tickets for the three shows had already been sold and would have to be refunded. Agnes commented ‘things at St Mungo’s haven’t been the same since the death of the Revd Victor Emmanuel last year. And the police still don’t know who the killer is. He could be still around. Or maybe it’s a she’. Crispin Powell has sought reassurance that the Trumpington Players will be allowed to hire the Church Hall for their next production “Sir Jasper Pulls It Off”.

A GOOD READ

Little Fires Everywhere Celine Ng In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is planned — from the layout of the winding roads, the colours of the houses, the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. No one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules. Enter Mia Warren – an enigmatic artist and single mother, who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenaged daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past and a disregard for the status quo that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community. When old family friends of the Richardsons attempt to adopt a Chinese-American baby, a custody battle erupts that dramatically divides the town — and puts Mia and Elena on opposing sides. Suspicious of Mia and her motives, Elena is determined to uncover the secrets in Mia's past. But her obsession will come at unexpected and devastating costs. Little Fires Everywhere explores the weight of secrets, the nature of art and identity, and the ferocious pull of motherhood – and the danger of believing that following the rules can avert disaster. A very good read that comes highly recommended, which you are sure to find fascinating and worthwhile.

Bells at St Mungo’s In a scenario similar to that of the Trumpington Players, Mrs Elizabeth

Laver has expressed concern that the bells of St. Mungo’s have fallen silent. ‘Sunday morning was a joy with the peeling of those bells, and now all we have is silence. Coupled with the news that the bell ringers have been

disbanded by the current Curate, the small congregation is raising concerns but not being listened to. Speaking on behalf of the Curate, Dr Sarah Emmanuel (widow of the late Revd Emmanuel) stated that ‘the

church tower is in need of repair and the ringing of the bells was causing further stress to the structure. Therefore the decision has been taken to silence the bells until the tower is repaired’.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 8

LEISURE AND LIFESTYLE

TRAVEL

Need A Break? Try A Royal Hideaway Why not have a staycation - no long check-in queue or delayed take-off at either end of your holiday. The UK has so many beautiful areas to explore. I love the Isle of Wight – a much slower pace of life and never too far from the sea. There is a variety of accommodation from camping and caravan parks to large hotels. My husband and I prefer small guest accommodation – good breakfasts and optional dinners. There are lots of footpaths – some old railway routes and more challenging coast paths over the downlands – and all are well signposted. There are bigger attractions including Osbourne House (pictured), Queen Victoria’s island home, and Carisbrooke Castle, where Charles I stayed in exile – both now English Heritage properties.

One place we always try to visit is the steam railway, reached either by train, on old pre-war underground trains to Smallbrook Junction (no road access) or by car/bus to Haven Street. A breath of pure nostalgia, you can easily spend all day there – with unlimited trips on the day, workshops to see the engines being worked on as well as places to eat. Also at Haven Street there are daily bird of prey displays, usually in

the open spaces but when special weekend events take place – car shows or 1940 theme days amongst others - the displays are in the woods on the extensive grounds. The island has welcomed all ages both now and in the past. That includes the Jurassic - lots of dinosaurs have been found, and the beaches near Sandwich are still giving up their secrets. Hoping to see you there soon.

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The Way It Was

Ride Through HistoryIn this occasional series, some reflections on a lifetime love of public transport

IT was all my late brother’s fault, when around 1959 he gave me his collection of battered Ian Allan bus-spotting books (still with me all these years later), after he had no further use for them. He also, at that time, drove a Bedford lorry for a Penge company, delivering pickles and gherkins etc to fish and chip shops all around London, and occasionally I was allowed – quite unofficially - to accompany him. These trips were brilliant for an 11-year old, enabling me to see parts of London, and vehicles I’d never seen before.London originally had horse buses of course, from 1829, when the first regular service started under one George Shillibeer, from Paddington to The Bank. Horse buses proliferated during the 19th Century, horse trams started in 1870 and Croydon can boast having the first electric trams in the UK, from 1901. Horse buses in London lasted until 1914, when many of the

horses were required for the Great War and motorbuses were coming online and continuously being improved.

Electric tramways extended to virtually all parts of the London area but were not permitted into the very centre, being restricted to terminals such as Victoria, Blackfriars, Liverpool Street, Moorgate, Holborn, Paddington and then by operation on the conduit principal, whereby current was picked up from a centre third rail, as opposed to overhead wire as in the suburbs. The biggest operator was the London County Council although certain boroughs also operated trams, Croydon, of course, also West Ham, Ilford, and Walthamstow.All was to change in 1933, when the London Passenger Transport Board

(London Transport) was formed, to operate all buses, trams and the Underground and also the fledgling trolleybus system – remember those? - which had already appeared in the Kingston area. The latter vehicles would eventually replace virtually all of the existing tramways over the next ten years or so. As such, the LPTB was the largest public transport operator in the world.

London Transport was under the control of the dynamic Lord Ashfield and his quite introverted but nonetheless brilliant vice-chairman Frank Pick, a champion of good design.I would come across some of their actual documents in years to come.A final word – never ever give up your seat on a bus to an old lady – that’s just how I lost my job as a bus driver.

The Way It May Be Stella Stars♋ CANCER Jun 22 to Jul 22Venus brings out a dominant aspect of your personality. Use this power to your advantage as Saturn gives you the extra persistence you need to sort out your family issues. Make an appointment with your solicitor.♌ LEO Jul 23 to Aug 23A relative has some disturbing news to share – with you only. Be careful. Be warned. Watch your back. Somebody wants you out of the way. Sign up for a self-defence course immediately.♍ VIRGO Aug 24 to Sep 22Relax – You have no future to worry about. ♎ LIBRA Sep 23 to Oct 23A unicorn kind of week. You begin to see the difference between caring for people and

doing too much for them. You have a life too and need to scale down your commitments and get other family members to share the load. Book a holiday. There are some excellent ‘singles’ packages.♏ SCORPIO Oct 24 to Nov 22Mars has just two more days to spend in your communication chart so start to sort out a long-standing family problem. This is the optimum time for holding out the olive branch and burying the hatchet. Luck is directed your way as a family recipe might win in a local competition. Use this opportunity to celebrate some family unity even if it is a sham.♐ SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 to Dec 21Mind planet Mercury helps you to be practical and work out all the costs involved in living.

Sort out your budget and what you have spare, then spend it on something frivolous. You have worked hard and now is the time to spoil yourself. It’s time to enjoy your life, it’s the only one you’ve got. You know you’re worth it.♑ CAPRICORN Dec 22 to Jan 20Venus, the planet of wealth as well as love, may set up an opportunity for you to earn much more, though it may mean spending more time away from home in the future. This will be a silver lining as you will be free to pursue some ‘other hobbies’ away from your nearest and dearest, without fear of being caught out.♒ AQUARIUS Jan 21 to Feb 18As Saturn gets settled in your sign, you are ready to take a step up at work and should

find being a boss really suits you. Be firm and conduct a cull to get rid of time wasters and colleagues who have criticised you in the past. Ignore anyone who tries to suck up to you.♓ PISCES Feb 19 to Mar 20Words are your winners, so do some subtle flirting and when the bait is hooked go in for the kill – not literally of course. Suffer fools gladly; they might be right. Luck is linked to a card full of numbers waiting to be checked.♈ ARIES Mar 21 to Apr 20

As Mars, the planet of action and adventurous plans, gets ready to move on, you are ready for a challenge. Sign up for some activity outside your normal comfort zone – paint balling, white water rafting or cross stitch. ♉ TAURUS Apr 21 to May 21Mercury gives you extra thinking power that can revive a project that means a lot to a group of friends – time to plan a reunion and make an action plan. Don’t be too hesitant about offending people – nothing is ever

under control, especially when you are at the helm.♊ GEMINI May 22 to Jun 21The order in which you do things really affects the outcome, so instead of your typical star sign dual approach, stop covering all bases and come out clearly and forcefully. If you think you think you are too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 10

INDULGENCE

Cookery CornerIndulge yourself with a glass of Madeira and a slice (or two) of this sumptuous tea loaf This is an adaptation of an old recipe for Lincolnshire fruit loaf.

Allow time to soak ingredients overnight

Ingredients12 oz mixed fruit4 oz other fruit such as chopped glace cherries, glace ginger, special mixed peel or chopped mixed nuts - any combination to taste7.5 fl oz (3/8th pint) tea. This can be ordinary tea, but try making with 4 teabags of Indian spiced tea.Half tsp mixed spice - omit if using spiced tea8 oz self-raising flour1 large eggMake up tea

PreparationPut all dried fruits/nuts into a bowl and pour tea over. Add a tbsp of brandy at this stage if you wishLeave to soak overnight

Heat oven to 350 degrees F, Gas Mark 4Lightly beat egg and add to fruitFold in flour and mix wellBake in a greased tin for 1.25 – 1.30 hoursCheck with a skewer – if it comes out clean then the loaf is ready. Otherwise bake for a further 5 – 10 minsLeave to cool

Serving SuggestionServe sliced – it’s very good buttered and served with a slice of strong cheddar cheese.This mixture can also be put in a pudding basin and steamed. It comes out like Christmas pudding.

Hair Today

Beauty Hints With Tracy Hello you beautiful people out there!Today I am focussing on my gentlemen readers and pointing up a brand-new style that so many of you are adopting. Bang on trend, it is the Shaggy Look –

named for that popular character from the Scooby Doo cartoon. The style has swept to popularity across all age ranges, it seems, and from what I hear through my many contacts in the Beauty Business, is now trending across the whole of our nation – and even world-wide. In fact, it now appears that my lady readers are copying the gentlemen and adopting this style themselves. I must say that it complements perfectly that other new trend in women’s hairdressing – the piebald roots look. Beautiful! Keep posting your pix online and I will do another of my popular “Lovely hairstyles from our Village” roundups.

NEWS FROM THE GROUPS Trumpington’s Flower Arrangers Group enjoyed an animated talk and demonstration by Florence Forsythia (favourite local florist) on the subject “What should I do with my blooming lupins”. The Trumpington Over Sixties Group were treated to a wine tasting last week provided by the Trumpington Sheltered Housing Association (TSHA). Those present enjoyed various tastings of wines from across the world. At the end of the proceedings Jim Mackenzie proposed a toast to the King. And then one to Queen Catherine. And then separate toasts for individual members of the Royal Family, past and present. Mary Powell (TSHA) said afterwards, as she loaded her car with many empty bottles, that she hadn’t realised how patriotic the over 60s of Trumpington are.

The Trumpington Allotments Society recently held their longest cucumber competition. St Mungo’s curate, Carl Ambrose’s cucumber was voted the winner by the judges and was much admired by all those in attendance.A treat for Trumpington’s U3A Group members at their last General Meeting when international fashion designer,

and Trumpington resident, Louis De Lux gave a talk entitled “My life in women’s dresses”. At the next meeting the guest speaker will be Florence Forsythia (floral tributes and bouquets) called “What should I do with my blooming dahlias”

Trumpington’s Women’s Institute held a bring-and-buy sale to raise funds to

purchase replacement equipment for jam making following their recent attempt at a jam making marathon, which came to a sticky endMaxwell Armstrong of the Goody Goody Gin Distillery has pointed out that his talk last month to the Trumpington Fine Arts Society was called “My Life of Gin” and not as reported “My Life of Sin”.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 11

JUST FOR YOU

AUNT AGATHA’s Letter Page – Just Ask Me a full page of your concerns today, because frankly, you are all in a hell of a mess www.trump.press/auntagatha

Dear Aunt Agatha, I desperately want to get married, but my boyfriend of 10 years doesn’t seem able to make a commitment. I feel I am wasting my life.Dear Sophie, It could be, of course, that you’ve not made your wishes clear, and he really doesn’t know that you are upset. If he’s been with you for 10 years he sounds like a nice guy. Why don’t you turn the tables and propose to him? Take him out to Nando’s and get down on one knee and do the business (preferably in a branch that has a large screen to share with the rest of the customers, way to apply pressure) If that doesn’t work, I suggest you grab him by the balls and give him an ultimatum. If he doesn’t get the message after that send him packing.

Dear Aunt Agatha, My parents are like serious mad. They like expect me to do homework every evening, even weekends! I ask you! Isn’t that like totally unreasonable? How can I escape this torture? I am 16 years of age.Dear Jack, There are two sides to every situation, and you need to start by

seeing things from your parents’ point of view, I assume that they want you to do well so that eventually you will be able to live a prosperous life and support them in their dotage. You on the other hand, are feeling constricted and constrained. I think you should pack a bag and go to London. Find out what real life is like, then if you survive for a gap year, you can go home, beg their forgiveness on bended knee and do a bit of studying in the lap of luxury.

Dear Ms Agatha,My problem concerns alcohol. I am not in any way an alcoholic because they go to meetings. I love wine, and gin, and whisky (not whiskey – can’t stand the Irish), and vodka and most drinks to be honest. I have really tried hard with low and zero alcohol drinks, but they have no effect on me. What should I do?Dear AnonymousI suggest you buy some shares in a winery and use your love of alcohol to good effect. Do some research, visit some vineyards, and invest. You won’t look back, I guarantee it.

Dear Aunt Agatha,

I’m trying to lose weight. I have signed up for lots of the weight controlling groups and organisations, but nothing works. I am about 27 stone and 5’ 6”. Dear Fatty,Every journey first starts with self-understanding, and you need to realise why you are fat – you eat too much. I suggest you buy a ticket to South Sudan and live with a rural family for at least 6 months. You will lose a great deal of weight. Failing that you have three choices: get a stomach bypass; have a leg amputated; stay fat.

Dear Aunt Agatha,You may think this is not an important problem but please hear me out. I am a retired woman living alone and I really struggle to uncork a bottle of Cava. I don’t feel able to ask my neighbour because then I might have to share the bottle.Dear Maisy,It’s simple. Remove the foil and the wire. Then cut the bulb top off the cork with a knife sharp enough to slice the

wings off an angel, but be careful not to cut yourself. You don’t want to contaminate your tipple. Now get a corkscrew bottle opener and remove the cork. It will give you a satisfying plop without the bang. Pour. Sip. Enjoy.

Dear Ant AgataI an dislaxic and I cant’ spel very well. How can I geet a god jobe?Dear Brenda,YOU NEED TO ENROL WITH YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY FOR A COURSE, OR TRY

YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL. IF YOU CAN’T READ THIS REPLY visit my web page which is listed on the masthead or log on to www.icantspell@instaEnglishandgrammar.con.uk

Dear Sir/Madam,I am suffering from a fear of spiders. I just really freak out. I have tried everything.Dear Alex,

You don’t distinguish between domestic spiders and tarantulas. I think you should do some research on the value of spiders in the food chain. For Heaven’s Sake they eat flies, they can’t be all bad. Their webs are totally exquisite, especially in the early morning when the sun is glinting off the dew on them. So, Alex, grow up and start worrying about more important things like your credit rating.

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 12

PERSONAL

ITEMS FOR SALE

Suggestion from the Ad ManagerCheck out the large quantity of catering equipment being offered this week

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with a round bottom for efficient beating. £20 or nearest offer. Box 2854

Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 vols, excellent condition, £500 onoNo longer needed, got married last week, wife knows everything. Box 2754

Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Negotiable. Box 3017

Nice Parachute: Never Opened – Used Once. Offers. Box 3002

Potty Chair, solid oak, small light brown stain. Box 2787

Used tombstone, black, solid polished Welsh marble, the perfect gift for someone named Julian Fitzroy-Petherington. Box 2789

Deep Fat Fryer. Brand new. Suitable for commercial use. £2000 onoPhone Dave on 07777 888 999

Top quality paper napkins, drinks straws and disposable cups – perfect for your summer BBQs. Knock down prices Tel: 07965 111 919

Large selection of food containers – contact Mary for more detailsm.van@firmwear.com

Complete set of chef’s tools and pans. Got to be seen to be believed. Total bargain. No longer needed. Can split. Phone 0509 365 563

Bridal Grown and full trousseau for sale. In perfect condition One careful owner. Only used five times £200 ono Box 2987

Soccer ball for sale, signed by the legendary Brazilian player Pele, generally considered to be the greatest player the game has ever seen. Or possibly a guy called Pete. £50 ono Box 2728

ITEMS WANTED

Lady’s wig suitable for Abba themed fancy dress party. Phone Julie 0112 978 4657

Long turquoise evening gown size 16. Must be in excellent condition. Needed by local theatre. A dress all responses to Wardrobe Manager at twm.theatre.co.uk

Large cot with drop sides. Urgent.Phone Mike0112 960 9748

SERVICES

Custom Dry Cleaning: We do not risk tearing your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. Luxury Laundry, 76 High Street

Auto Repair Service: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and we guarantee you'll never go anywhere again. Box 3173

Mobile Hairdresser Available to take bookings – can cut, colour, perm and re-style your look.I have all my own equipment. PhoneJulie 07684 929 488

Need a Plumber? I’m the man for your pipes. Local, trustworthy, reliable. Good rates offered. Local resident’s recommendations available on enquiry. Pete: 07700 900 027

Lessons offered in English as a second language. If you are unable to understand this ad then you need my services. Contact Justin Hetherington on 07700 900474

PROPERTY

2 bed modern flat for sale £200,000. Good investment with a view to the future. Location - Cemetery Street. Box 2998

Three bedroomed detached home for sale in West Trumpington. Must be seen to be appreciated. Perfect home situated between sewage works and airfield. In immaculate

condition except for the asbestos and rising damp. £300,000 Box 3247

ANIMALS

Need a Dog Walker? All breeds considered for daytime walks while you are at work. Trustworthy person offers a reliable solution to your pet’s distress. Phone 07489 444 900

Puppies – 3 breeds available, ready for immediate collection. Email to see photos and get details pfarm@hammit.co.uk phone 07489 444 900

Free to good home. Golden Retriever. Eats anything, loves children. Box 3892

Beautiful two-year-old white pony for sale, looks like a small horse Box 2358

EMPLOYMENT

Manure woman looking for farm work. 20+ hours a week. Lots of experience. Box 2897

Pig & Whistle needs a young barmaid 18+. Must have at least 20 years’ experience. Apply in person

Tired of slaving away endlessly for just a measly £9 per hour. Interesting and straightforward home working opportunity available to reliable individuals, starting rates £7-7.50 per hour. CV to Box 3994

Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 13

SPORT

CAMBER CRUMBLE TO BARNEYCamberwick 164 – 9 Trumps 168 - 9 Trumpington won by one wicket

The meeting between Trumpington and local rivals Camberwick on the Green produced a thrilling finish on Sunday evening. Captain Flack won the toss and put Camberwick into bat. The visitors built solidly on a steady start and looked to be heading for a sizeable total.Toward the end of the innings, McGrew produced a truly devastating spell of fast bowling, taking four wickets for two runs in his last three overs. He was ably assisted by Grub “the grab” behind the stumps who took three catches and made a stumping, Camberwick making 164 for 9 off their 30 overs. Trumpington got off to a good start with openers Pugh and Pugh putting on

sixty for the first wicket. Three wickets fell in quick succession and the pace slowed. By the twenty fifth over fifty runs were still required with four wickets in hand. Dibble went on the attack taking Trumpington within ten runs of victory with two wickets left off the final over. Troop at the other end managed a single off the first ball. Dibble then hit a fine cover drive for four. Camberwick’s demon fast bowler “Shredder” Shearer then bowled a vicious short ball, hitting Dibble’s hand. After a lengthy pause for treatment the redoubtable Dibble continued, and although hardly able to hold his bat, he managed to deflect the next ball for a single. Troop was unprepared for the short-pitched ball that now came towards his head. In trying to swat it to the boundary he only succeeded in

edging it to the wicketkeeper . This brought the last batsman Barney McGrew to the wicket, needing four runs off the last ball. The Shredder charged in to release a fast short-pitched delivery towards McGrew who stepped down the wicket clubbing the ball over the boundary rope for six, scattering the early evening drinkers outside the Woolpack to bring Trumpington a famous victory.‘Never in doubt’ growled McGrew when asked to comment on the win.

ATHLETICS

Record Run Trumpington runner FRANNIE HILL won the Little Dimpton half marathon on Saturday in world record time. When asked to explain this remarkable achievement Ms Hill, 34 said ‘I was being chased by a strange little man wearing a beret and round glasses.’ Twenty minutes after Miss Hill completed her astonishing run, the police detained a man answering that description. When asked if he had anything to say he replied ‘Yackety Yack’GOLF

Birdies Bogie Par Four A remarkable event occurred on the eighth hole of Trump Trumpington Links on Saturday. Mr J Wooster (62) had just played his third shot on to the green. As he waited for his playing partner Tom Morris the 23rd (66) to play his third shot a flock of Lesser Golden Crested Warblers landed on the

green. The partners tried to shoo the birds away. Before they covered the forty yards they were intercepted by several ornithologists, insisting the birds, a protected species, be left in their nest for the night and set up a protection zone around the green. The birds did not respond to the heartfelt plea from Mr Wooster ‘can we have our ball back?’ SOCCER

Trumps DevelopmentsTrumpington Town’s plans for their first season in the Premier League of the Southern Counties Combination are continuing apace. In accordance with league regulations a cover has been erected over the terrace behind the cemetery end goal and will be in use for the first time in two weeks’ time for the friendly against Ambridge Amblers. Chairman Stephen Church said that after meeting supporters in the clubroom last night it had been decided

that the new 25 capacity facility would be known as the “Graveyard Bank.”Church (79) said ‘We are in this for the long haul’. With this in mind manager Jamie Brewer has added some experience to last season’s promotion winning squad, having recruited Roy Race who has left Melchester after more years than even the chairman can remember. Dwain Compton-Thorpe-Jones, a fifteen-year-old striker released by Sutton Town’s academy after five years, has been signed. Brewer (69) said ‘unfortunately Dwain is unavailable for the friendly with Ambridge as he is still grounded by his mother after answering his grandmother back last night.’ Season tickets, which include clubroom membership and 5% discount from A Pother and Cry Pharmacies for headache pills, laxatives and diarrhoea relief, are priced at £15. This only covers the eighteen home league fixtures. Cup ties are not

included. Town have not won a cup tie since beating Toyton Town 1-0 after extra time in January 2011.Trumpington Tribune Friday 30th July 2021 Page 14

SPORT

ANYONE FOR TENNIS?Trumpington Tennis Club are inviting the public to take advantage of an open day next month. Membership Secretary Perry Murray told the Tribune this week “We would love people to come to the club and try the game. We have a very lively social set up. We invite everyone looking for a match to visit us Sunday 22nd August” The gates will open at 2pm with strawberries and cream available from 2.30pm. Admission is free, but strawberries will be £3.00 a punnet. Cream 50p a portion.

The club is served by tramlines 15, 30 and 40, getting out at the Lawn Court stop.

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Because to them, love means nothing.

1/4 MARATHON

SIGN UP FOR FUN RUNThis year’s Trumpington Fun Run, sponsored by the Tribune, will take place on Sunday September 26th.

The run will start outside The Spread Eagle at Noon. The course will then go via The Ship, The Joiners Arms, The Cricketers, Ye Olde Bull and The Crown before finishing at the Good Companions. Everyone completing the course will receive an engraved medal courtesy of A Paine, Chiropractor. Entry forms can be downloaded from the Tribune website.Fancy dress will naturally be welcomed. Anybody running as a snail will be permitted a six-mile start.

Crossword No 27,339,267,375

Clues Across1 Nutritional waterway,

my dear Watson? (10,5)

7 Moral or legal binding (10)9 Mother of Apollo and Artemis (4)10 In a manner to take away part of his

reputation (12)11 Pull apart (4)12 Mainly oxygen and Nitrogen (3)14 Viper, which is a plus (5)15 No need to be like that (7)17 Throw out (5)20 Training in military exercises (5)21 A 26 for petrol alternative (4)23 Wears a cap in the corner (5)24 Said ‘He did it!’ (7)26 Initial letters for a shorter word (7)27 Playing a foolish person (3)28 Suffers with longing (5)

Clues Down1 Everyone should support this (1,4,5)2 Couldn’t read this, let alone write the answer (10)3 Hardly any difference (6)4 They were somewhere else at the time (6)5 Followers (8)

6 Number of workers available (6,9)8 Horse 13 First in the dictionary (9)16 Smoke and Mirrors (8)18 Roughly up and down (6)19 A silky case (6)

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8

9

10

11

12 13

14 15 16

17 18 19 20 21

22

23 24 25

26

27 28

22 Swelling (6) 25 Effeminate (4)