What Can Parents Do to help children act responsibly?

"The philosophy of restitution is wonderful: the student takes responsibility for their actions and makes it right on their own. It teaches the child to do what they're supposed to be doing, whether someone is watching over them or not. Because restitution doesn't rely on rewards and punishments, the child learns to do the right thing for himself, not for someone else. This is a skill that once learned, they'll carry with them throughout their lives, and I'm happy to be part of the process. …..and I believe the more students are exposed to the principles of it, the more it will positively affect their behavior." Anonymous teacher

In Evergreen School Division we are working with students, teaching restitution skills our students can use in all of their life experiences. But what can you do as a parent?

1) Develop a picture of the ideal (not perfect) parent/guardian. Decide if you want your children to learn to think for themselves.

2) Tell your children you are working on your skills just like they are.3) Be generous with yourself. Tell yourself: “It is okay to make a mistake. Next time

I’ll do better.” 4) Acknowledge when you have made a mistake in front of your children. 5) Try to find the need behind the behaviors you do not like in yourself and others.

What is the reason or purpose for that behavior?6) Tell yourself “I am doing the best I can!” and give yourself the answers. For

example recognize if your behavior is “loud” it is better than not caring.7) Tell your family that you love them especially when you have differences.

Remind them that generally things are going well-more often than not.8) Ask questions instead of lecturing. For example:

a. What kind of family do we want to have?b. Do you want to learn how to keep going if things get tough?c. Do you want to be a learning person (not just books)?

9) Laugh often. Use humor to heal. Restitution is something we can all learn and use. Be prepared to pause, reflect and redo.

10) Remember daily that a family is where people get their emotional learningBouquet of Needs Quality World Person I want to be…

Adapted from the work of Diane Gossen