FRATERNITIES& SORORITIES

Alpha Holic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Beta Testa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Desolation Rho . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Epsilon Kassidi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Gamma Gamma Hey . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Hukka Beri Pi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Iona Lexus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Kuppa Sangria . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Psi Phi Geek . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Sku Bi Du . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1

DININGAll-You-Can-Wait Bar-B-Queue . . A-1 Burger Thing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 D.O.A. Fridays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Faculty Dining & Smoking Room . . A-1The Lardery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Pizza Hint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Sneezgärd Salad Bar . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Sushi-O-Path . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Ye Quainte Historique Campus Inne (grand opening 2011) . . . . . . A-1

RESIDENCE HALLSAnnie Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Bibb-Over Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Daryl Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Dimlee-Litt Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Divorced Student Housing . . . . . . . A-1 Dorm Perignon (Athletes only) . . . A-1 Jerry Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Monty Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Robert Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Sweet-Fuch Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Wuntsanfer Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Zhatz Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1

THE WELL TOWER. Located in Peeple’s Court along beautiful Sy Coe Path, the 300-foot Well Tower is the tallest structure at C.U. and one of the tallest anywhere to include neither stairs nor elevators. Legend holds that the first student to drink from the water fountain on top will lose his or her virginity before age 30.

JOCk MANLEy STADIuM. Completed in 2005 at a cost of $1.5 billion, this 6000,000-seat stadium honors C.U.’s most famous athlete, the only player to be drafted by the NFL solely because of his name. Its unique features include a football field the size of three football fields and an indoor cross-country track. It is scheduled for replacement in 2010.

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Brief History: Founded 1909 as Eastern Piedmont Academy for Caucasian Youth. Renamed Campus College in 1931 after benefactor Z.F. Campus, founder of Piedmont Potted Possum Products, world’s largest manufacturer of foods for pets and mental hospitals. Became Campus University in 1955, after the establishment of schools in religion, philosophy and weapons research.

School Colors: Grey and GraySchool Motto: “Eruditio ad nauseum”Team Nickname: Puissant PossumsSchool Paper: Campus Daily Weekly

NORA MAE CAMPuS DuMONT GILTRIPPER MuRDLE RuBIROSA vAN ARNHEIN BOTANICAL GARDEN AND WEDDING CHAPEL. Garden open daily from dawn to dusk; Chapel open Sunday-Friday, and Saturdays when not in use by Nora Mae.

OPOSSuM OSCuLATION AND OvuLATION OBSERvATORy. The only institute studying the romantic and sexual habits of this unappealing marsu-pial. Subjects are tested, studied and tagged, then released unharmed into their natural habitat along U.S. 1 between Raleigh and Sanford. Admission is $5 during courting season, $15 during mating season (children not admitted), free all other times.

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POINTS OF INTEREST

ZACHARy FILLMORE CAMPuS uNIvERSITyResearch Trailer Park, North Carolina

Administration Bunker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 African-Asian-American Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Alabama-American Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Assics-clay Uilding-bay (Latin) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Barnum-Hunsucker School of Journalism and Public Relations . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Burroughs-Seagram School of Pharmacy and Bartending . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Campus Secret Police . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . not shown on map Candice B. deWright Place (Visitor Information) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Center for Latin-American Studies and Groundskeeping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Center for the Study of Attractive Youth (not affiliated with C.U.) . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Center for the Reduction of Redundant Programs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Children’s Crusade for Christ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Cliff Snotes Undergraduate Library & Remedial Reading Room . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 C.R.O.T.C.H. (Campus Reserve Officer Training Corps Headquarters) . . . . . A-1 Defense Dept. Research Facility (restricted access) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Diamond Gym . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Edifice Complex (Architecture) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Electra Complex (Power Plant) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Emo R. D. Nilap Memorial Palindrome . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 EPA Superfund Cleanup Site (Chemistry, Ecology, Food Services) . . . . . . . . A-1 Forehauer Erection (Biology) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Foreign-Looking Students Association . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Gilt Complex (Business) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Gradual and Provisional Students Association . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Health Sciences Cadaveratory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Hispano-Suiza Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Ima Mack Bldg. (Computer Arts) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Ima P. See Bldg. (Computer Sciences) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Institute for the Scientific Study of Stuff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . A-1 International House of Pantheists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1

Jewish-American-Princess Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1LGBTQSP (Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Questioning and Scrabble-Playing) . Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Martial Law School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Massey-Venferiority Complex (Psychology) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Mengele Infirmary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Ministry of Truth (News Bureau) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt Center for Women’s Studies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1National Academic Unit Studying Embarrasing Acronyms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 National Security Agency Research Facility (off-limits) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Office of Faculty-Student Affairs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Pandemonic Auditorium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Presidential Palace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 President’s Parking Garage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1Redundant Program Reduction Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Remedial Reading Room . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Slim Gym . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 South American-American Student Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Sunny Gym . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Supposed Secret Govt. Research Facility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . T.S. and George Eliot Bldg. (English) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Undergraduate Emissions Office . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 University Press and Dry-Clean . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Visitors’ Parking Space . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1 Visitors’ Other Parking Space . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A-1