zach perri intervention
TRANSCRIPT
ZACH PERRI INTERVENTION/OTHER ISSUES
Conducted by : Tom MaioAlex Shitman
Bill Pettis Colin Lord
Don’t Kill Yourself!
As friends of yours we feel it would be best if you don’t kill yourself
Your life is greatly appreciated and we enjoy your presence so don’t do it
You have your whole life ahead of you and you have a bright future as a landscaper! So don’t ruin your dream now
The number of professional landscapers in this group would drop 100% as a result of your potential death which is illustrated by this chart # of lawnmowers
Zach Perri Rest of Group
How did we know this?
You are probably wondering how we knew that you throwing suicide around very loosely
The answer is this: for the past week Litman has been texting you ex Marisa under the alias of “Russ”
Litman has basically found out everything about your relationship with her and she still thinks he is “Russ”
She is the one who actually said it was Russ as Litman simply texted her from his number and said it was one of Zach's friends and she said, “Is this Russ, “ and Litman never said it wasn’t and continued to portray the persona of “Russ”
Litman tried his hardest to keep you two together but she made her own decision against litman’s advice so its not his fault
Open your eyes Stevie Wonder!
She doesn’t really like you that much, you just threaten to kill yourself so she stays with you
She doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer and even went as far as saying, “I deserve better than him”
What a bitch!!! She also said because you
sucked at fingering her (the 1st time) she got with Cheese and let him finger her just cause she didn’t like your style
She is a loudmouth bitch who thinks she's tough and is spoiled by your loving human nature
The ship has sailed and its time to move on
You deserve and can do better than her
She was talking shit on the fact that you bought her bravo pizza and on Paddock Park
Its time for you to move on and stop being a jabroni
Again, Don’t Kill Yourself
Fuck You! You are a backstabbing fuck for
choosing to go to senior week with Frisbee faggots
You didn’t even have the balls to tell us yourself we had to find out using extremely good investigative skills
What if we hadn’t found out?
Were you ever going to tell us??????
This is worse than Judas, who may I remind you, betrayed the one and only lord baby Jesus Christ
Thats you in the picture -------
How could you choose them?????
Most of them are gay/fat/curly headed fucks
Fight Proposal
In light of this news we would like to propose a fight between your house and our house
We will kick the shit out of you faggots Except for Logue (who will shit his pants) Zing!!! But Lord will be prepared to fuck shit up Litman shart his pants
You’re Gay
In response to your gayness you will not be allowed at diesels shore house at any point during the summer
Tebow
Questions?
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please contact Alex Litman through email or phone at
267-882-6500 ext. shit
The End