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Chapter 12

You’ve Already Started

Children don’t learn to talk all by themselves. They learn to communicate

gradually as they spend time with the important people in their lives,

especially their parents. You and your child have been communicating

since he was born. Through this communication, you’ve developed a

strong connection. To help him become the best communicator he can be,

you just need to build on the connection you already have.

By reading It Takes Two to Talk, you’ll learn simple but powerful

strategies for helping your child communicate to the best of his ability.

You’ll find that everyday situations like getting him dressed or putting

him to bed are ideal times to use these strategies. What’s more, you’ll see

that building communication into your child’s everyday life won’t be hard

work or stressful — for your child or for you. In fact, it will become a

natural part of the time you spend together.

How and Why Children Communicate

Communication isn’t just about talking. Whenever two people send

messages of any kind to each other — even without words — they are

communicating. Babies communicate long before they start to talk — by

crying, smiling, making sounds, moving their bodies or reaching for

something. As children grow, they let you know what’s on their minds in

other ways, such as through gestures, speech and signs. Learning more

about how your child communicates is the first step toward helping him

become a better communicator.

Uh.

HOW Brian communicates with his dad:

he looks, points and makes a sound.

HOW Colin communicates with his mom: by looking

at her, smiling and wiggling his arms and legs.

01 ITTT_It Takes Two to Talk 2017 3/29/2017 10:06 AM Page 2

© 2017 Hanen Early Language Program. This page is from the It Takes Two to Talk® guidebook (Weitzman, 2017)and may be copied for personal use only

Becoming aware of how your child communicates

is important, but you also need to think

about why he communicates. Even before

they use words, children communicate for

many different reasons: to tell you what

they want or don’t want, to get your

attention, to ask questions or to make

comments. As their communication

develops, they get better at letting you

know what’s on their minds and what’s

important to them.

Signs and pictures

When children understand what words mean, but are having a hard time learning totalk, they can learn to communicate by making signs or pointing to pictures instead.Throughout this book, whenever you see references to children using or learningwords, this applies equally to signs or pictures. A speech-language professional canhelp you decide whether this approach could benefit your child.

Learn More About Your Child’s Communication 3

WHY Graham communicates: to make a

comment about his tractor.

WHY Adam communicates: to tell his

dad he doesn’t want something.

No hat? No, I don’t have a hat.

Broken.

WHY Alicia communicates:

to ask her mom a question.



Learning more about how and why your child communicates will help you

see and hear the messages he sends you — even the ones that aren’t so

obvious. The following lists describe how and why children communi-

cate. Circle or highlight the hows and whys you notice in your child.

HOWMy Child Communicates: H Cries or screams H Smiles H Moves his body (kicks, wiggles)

H Changes his facial expression H Makes sounds H Reaches

H Looks at me or at what he wants H Imitates sounds H Takes me by the

hand to what he wants H Looks at what he wants and then at me H Points

to what he wants H Points to draw my attention to something H Uses ges-

tures, such as waving for bye-bye H Uses sounds that stand for

words H Uses single words or signs H Combines two or more words at a

time

WHYMy Child Communicates: H Because he is hungry or tired H Because he is happy H To respond to

something interesting, such as my voice H To protest or refuse some-

thing H To get attention H To make a request H To show/give me some-

thing

H To greet/say goodbye H To respond to others H To point out something

of interest H To ask a question H To comment

Your Child’s Stage of Communication

Every child’s ability to communicate develops gradually over time. In It TakesTwo to Talk, we divide the early years of communication development into four

major stages:

• Discoverers react to how they feel and to what is happening around them,

but do not communicate with a specific purpose in mind.

• Communicators send specific messages without using words.

• First Words Users use single words (or signs or pictures).

• Combiners combine words into sentences of two or more words.

Children with communication difficulties progress through the same stages

as other children, but more slowly (although some children may not get

through all the stages).

Chapter 14




___ Recognizes familiar voices

___ Turns his head towards sound

___ Responds when I call his name by look-

ing at me, moving his body or holding

still

___ Recognizes a few gestures, such as hold-

ing arms up for “up”

___ Showsheknowswhat’scoming next in a

daily routine e.g., when I hold up his

socks, he lifts his foot up

DiscovererUnderstanding



___ Responds when I call his name by look-ing at me, moving his body or holdingstill

___ Recognizes a few gestures, such as whenI hold my arms out before picking him up

___ Shows he knows what’s coming next in adaily routine e.g., when I hold up hissocks, he lifts his foot up



___ Responds when I call his name by looking at me, moving

his body or holding still

___ Recognizes a few gestures, such as holding arms up for

“up”

___ Shows he knows what’s coming next in a daily routine e.g.,

when I hold up his socks, he lifts his foot up

___ Cries in different ways, depending on what he needs

___ Closes his eyes or turns away when he doesn’t want something

___ Looksatfaceswithinterest

___ Becomesquietorsmiles when spoken to

___ Makes sounds and moves his body −e.g., wiggles, kicks,when he is spoken to or smiled at

___ Makes a variety of facial expressions

___ Turns towards sounds/my voice

___ Moves his body −e .g., reaches when he wants something

___ Imitates actions −e.g., bangs on his high chair

___ Makes sounds, like “aaah,” “oooh,” “guh,” “muh”

___ Babbles −e.g.,“bababa,” “mamama”

___ Imitates sounds I make

___ Enjoys games like Peek-a-boo

___ Doesn’t yet understand what words mean ___ Reacts to his environment. He does not yet send messageson purpose

Expression

© 2017 Hanen Early Language Program. This page is from the It Takes Two to Talk® guidebook (Weitzman, 2017)and may be copied for personal use only.

My Child’s Stage of CommunicationDevelopment

Before you can help your child develop better communication skills, you

need to know his stage of communication and all the things he is doing to

communicate at that stage. There are four stages of communication:

Discoverer, Communicator, First Words User and Combiner. Read the

checklists below, which describe these four stages in terms of what your

child understands and what he can express. Check off all the items under

each column that apply to your child’s communication right now.

The blue shaded boxes under the name of each stage contain a brief

description of the defining feature of that stage for both understanding

and expression. After you have checked off all the items in the checklist

that apply to your child’s communication, look at the stage name above

the last blue shaded box you checked off for both understanding and

expression. That’s your child’s stage. You may find that your child’s stage

for understanding is different from his stage for expression.


SAMPLE

12 Chapter 1





still



___ Showsheknowswhat’s coming next in a



CommunicatorUnderstanding

___ Understands familiar words in routinesituations, like byebyeor up

___ Understands names of familiar objectslike bottle, lightor ball

___ Responds to simple questions like,“Where’s your teddy bear?” by moving tothe object, looking at or pointing to it

___ Follows simple directions when these arepaired with gestures

___ Understands the word “no”






“up”



___ Communicates for a variety of reasons, such as:l To protest/refuse something – e.g., shakes head for “no”l To make a request – e.g., hands me container to openl To get attention – e.g., makes sounds, gesturesl To show/give me something – e.g., hands me a toyl To greet/say goodbye - e.g. waves bye byel To respond to others – e.g., points to/hands me object I

asked aboutl To point out something of interest – e.g., points to object/

person and looks back at me

___ Strings sounds together that almost sound like speech (jargon)

___ Consistently makes sounds that mean something specific – e.g., “huh-huh” (panting for a dog)

___ Occasionally uses a single word

___ Understands familiar words in everydaysituations

___ Sends messages on purpose using a combination of looks,sounds and/or gestures (without using words)*

Expression


___ Turnshisheadtowards sound



still



___ Shows he knows what’s coming next in a



First Words UserUnderstanding

___ Can point to many body parts and familiar objects

___ Follows a few simple instructions with-out the adult showing or using gestures −e.g., “kiss the baby”

___ Can answer yes-or-no questions, such as,“Do you want some banana?”

___ Responds to simple whereand whatquestions −e.g. “Where’s your shoe?” or“What do you want to drink?”






“up”



___ Uses a large number of gestures and sounds

___ Imitates sounds (e.g. animal/car sounds) and words

___ Usessinglewordsforall the same reasons as aCommunicator, as well as:

l To ask a question – e.g., “Dada?” with rising intonation

to ask where Dad is

l To comment – e.g., “wet!”

___ Uses a variety of word types, such as: l People – e.g., “mama”l Objects – e.g., “ball”l Social words – e.g., “bye bye”l Rejection/ Refusal – e.g., “no”l Actions – e.g., “eat”l Describing words – e.g., “big”l Location words – e.g., “there”

___ Uses gestures and words together −e.g., asks to be pickedup by lifting his arms while saying, “up”

___ Uses 10-25 words

___ Uses 25-50 words

___ Occasionally says 2 word phrases

___ Understands the names of many familiarobjects, people and animals

___ Communicates primarily by using single words*

Expression



SAMPLE


Setting Communication Goals: Interaction goalscome before Expression goals

The goals listed for each stage of communication on page 14 will give you a good

idea of where you are headed in helping build your child’s communication. We

know that children learn to communicate within enjoyable back and forth interac-

tions with the important adults in their lives, so having good interaction skills is a

critical part of language learning for your child. For this reason, we always start

withinteraction goals.

1. Interaction Goal:First Turns: My child will take the first turnin interactions with me.

(For Communicators, First Words Users and Combiners) 2. Interaction Goal:More Turns:My child will take more turnsback and forth in inter

actions with me. (For children at all four stages) 3. Interaction Goal:Have Fun:My child will have funinteracting with me.

(For children at all four stages)

Once your child is taking first turns and the two of you are having fun taking more

turns, you can choose a communication goal that focuses on improving his expres-

sion. You will now help him take a specific turnduring your interactions.

4. Expressive Communication Goal : Specific Turn: My child will take a

specific turnduring our interactions. He will:

(choose one or two goals from the chart on page 14).


___ Turnshisheadtowardssound



still



___ Shows he knows what’s coming next in a



CombinerUnderstanding

___ Understands more complex ideas −e.g.,in/out, over/under, dirty/clean

___ Can understand what, whereand whoquestions − e.g., “What do you wear onyour feet?”, “Who is at the door?”

___ Follows instructions without the adultshowing or using gestures −e.g., “Go getyour shoes”

___ Follows 2 step instructions −e.g., “Pick upyour pajamas and put them in the laun-dry basket.”

___ Follows simple stories



___ Responds when I call his name by looking at me, moving his

body or holding still

___ Recognizes a few gestures, such as holding arms up for “up”



___ Says more than 50 different words

___ Uses 2 word phrases to:l Make requests − e.g., “open door”

l Make comments − e.g., “big bug”

l Ask questions that start with whatand where−e.g., “Where ball?” May ask why

l Talk about things beyond the here-and-now − e.g., “Birdie gone” (the past), “Go zoo” (the future)

___ Uses a variety of word types in 2 word phrases (see list underFirst Words User) −e.g., People (“dadaup”); Objects (“ballgone?”); Social words (“byenana”); Rejection/ refusal (“nobed”); as well as Pronouns (“Igo”), Belonging words (“mycar”)

___ Starts to use 3 or more word phrases −e.g., “Mama more milk”

___ Understands many words and more com-plex ideas

___ Communicates primarily by using 2 or more word phrases

Expression



SAMPLE

* These goals may be appropriate forCommunicators with an advanced under-standing of language

Communication and Language Goals at Each Stage

Chapter 114

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:

___ Stay longer in inter-

actions with me

___ Use more actions

and sounds in inter-

actions

___ Imitate actions or

sounds I make

___ Show he knows

what’s coming next

in a routine

Move towards the

Communicator

stage

Do more at theDiscoverer stage:

___ Show he’s paying

attention to me for

longer periods by

looking at me, making

facial expressions,

moving his body or

making sounds

___ Use more looks, facial

expressions, body

movements or sounds


sounds I make

___ Show he knows what’s

coming next in a rou-

tine

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:


actionswithme



actions


sounds I make

___ Show he knows


in a routine

Move towards the

Communicator

stage

Do more at theCommunicator stage:

___ Send messages on

purpose for a variety

of reasons, such as

asking for something,

sharing his interest, or

showing something

___ Send messages using

a combination of

looks, sounds,

gestures

___ Imitate many different

sounds, gestures

___ Spontaneously use

many different

gestures

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:


actions with me



actions


sounds I make

___ Show he knows


in a routine

Move towards the

Communicator

stage

Do more at the FirstWords User stage:

___ Use the words he has

more often

___ Use the words he has

for a variety of

reasons

___ Use a variety of word

types, like:

l People (daddy)

l Objects (teddy)

l Social words (night night)

l Rejection/refusal (no)

l Actions (bounce)

l Describing words (soft)

l Location words (in)

Do more at the Discoverer

stage:

___ Stay longer in interac-

tions with me

___ Use more actions and

sounds in interactions


sounds I make

___ Show he knows what’s

coming next in a routine

Move towards the

Communicator stageonce he’s made the commu-

nication connection:

___ Send a message to get

Do more at the Combinerstage:

___ Use the 2 word phrases he

has more often

___ Use a variety of word types

in 2 word phrases, like:

l People (sit daddy!)

l Objects (teddyfall)

l Social words (night nightbaby)

l Rejection/refusal (nobed!)

l Actions (I jump)

l Describing words (dirtyhand)

l Location words (incar)

l Belonging words (mybook)

___ Say 3 word phrases

Discoverer Goals Communicator Goals First Words User Goals Combiner Goals

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:


actions with me



actions

___ Imitateactions or

sounds I make

___ Show he knows


in a routine

Move towards the

Communicator stage

once he’s made the com-

munication connection:

___ Send a message to get

my attention

___ Send a message to let

me know he wants

something

___ Look at something

and back at me

___ Start to use gestures,

e.g., lifts arms up to

ask to be picked up

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:


actions with me

___ Usemoreactions


actions

Move towards the First

Words User stage:

___ Add sounds to most of

his turns

___ Imitate words

___ Spontaneously use a

few words

Do more at the

Discoverer stage:


actions with me

___ Usemore actions


Move towards the

Combiner stage:

___ Use 50 or more words

___ Start to use 2 word

phrases

Do more at the Discoverer

stage:

___ Stay longer in interac-

tions with me

___ Usemoreactions and

sounds in interactions

Continue his communication

development:

___ Say longer phrases

___ Use more complete

sentences

When deciding on your child’s expressive communication goal, you can choose

one of two approaches. You can help him:

• do more at his current stage of communication; or

• move towards the next stage of communication

See pages 99 – 106 for detailed information on how to select the appropriate

expressive communication goal for your child. Information on building your

child’s understanding can be found on pages 84 – 86, as well as throughout

Chapter 7. It is highly recommended that you consult a speech-language patholo-

gist, who will assess your child and help you select appropriate goals.



SAMPLE

Let Your Child Lead 17

OWL to Let Your Child Lead

The next step to letting your child lead is to OWL:

The first letters of these three important words – OWL

– will help you remember them.

OWLing is an important strategy that you can use

with your child throughout an interaction.

When you OWL, you give your child a chance to start an interaction and open up opportunities for communica-

tion. You may even discover that your child is

communicating more than you realized.

Observe

Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s on your

child’s mind. Taking the time to observe her

body language — her actions, gestures and

facial expressions — will help you figure it out.

By tuning in to these messages, you can learn

a lot about what she’s interested in and what

she wants to tell you. Notice what your child is

looking at. Look in the direction in which she’s

reaching or pointing. Discovering what has

captured your child’s interest will help you

share the moment with her.

Mom was trying to get Megan to

look in the mirror, but then she

observed that Megan was more

interested in something else — her

sock had come off. Now they can

talk about what really interests

Megan.

Observe, Wait and Listen:Taking the time to OWL is

a wise way to start.

Look! Yoursock’s off!

Observe

Wait

Listen



Chapter 218

Wait

Waiting is a powerful tool. It gives you time to observe what your child is

interested in. Even more importantly, it gives your child time to start aninteraction or respond to what you’ve said or done. In this book, waitmeans three things: stop talking, lean forward and look at your child

expectantly. Your child may be used

to everyone else doing the commu-

nicating. Waiting in this way will

send her the message that you’re

ready for her to respond to you

or, better still, to take the lead

herself. Once your child does one

of these things, it’s important

for you to respond to her imme-

diately. (You’ll learn more about

how to do this in Chapter 3.)

If you need to remind your-

self to wait, count slowly to 10 —

silently, of course. At first, you

may not be used to that much

silence. Your child may not be

used to it either. But be patient

and don’t rush to say some-

thing. It may take some time

for her to communicate with

you. If your child switches from

one activity to another, wait

again. Give her a chance to get

involved in the new activity. Then give her still more time to start an inter-

action.

The most important thing to remember about waiting is to give your

child enough time to understand that you expect her to send you a message

— any message. It doesn’t matter whether she sends it with sounds, words

or gestures. Anything that your child does or says to make her needs or

interests known to you is a message. Take another look at the "My Child's

Stage of Communication Development" checklist you completed on pages

11 − 13. There you’ll find some of the ways in which your child may send a

message.

Instead of answering

the door when the

doorbell rings,

Robert’s dad waits.

This gives Robert a

chance to tell him

there’s someone at

the door.

Uh.



Let Your Child Lead 19

Listen

Listening means paying close attention to all of your child’s words and

sounds. Take care not to interrupt her, even if you’ve already figured out

what she’s telling you. When you listen to your child’s message, you’re

also letting her know that what she says is important to you. This helps

build her confidence and self-esteem.

Even when you OWL, there will be times when you cannot understand

your child’s message. This can be frustrating for both of you. At times like

these, look at the situation for clues and guess what she’s trying to tell

you.

Dee-dee.

Kitty. That’sa kitty.

Elizabeth’s mom listens carefully

and realizes that Elizabeth is

trying to say “Kitty”.

If you can’t even begin to guess your child’s message, imitate her

sounds or actions and then wait to see if she does anything to make her

message clearer. You may still not understand, but it’s important to make

the effort. When you do, you let her know that you’re trying your best to

understand her. You’re also showing her that what’s on her mind is very

important to you.



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