“you must understand…i am ordinary. painfully ordinary. this is not modesty. this is a fact....
TRANSCRIPT
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“You must understand…I am ordinary. Painfully ordinary. This is not modesty. This is a fact.
Maybe you’re ordinary, too. If so, I honor your ordinariness, your humanness, your spirituality. I hope you will honor mine.
That ordinariness is our bond, you and I. We are ordinary. We are human. The Creator made us this way. Imperfect. Inadequate. Ordinary.
We are not supposed to be perfect. We’re supposed to be useful”
Leonard Peltier
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In Dignity:Responding to Interpersonal Violence
Linda Coates, Ph.D.Shelly Bonnah, MA
Centre for Response-Based PracticeDuncan B.C. Canada
Are You Really Listening? Best Practices in Treating Victims With Respect
Perth, OnMarch 19, 2013
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Dignity
Social life is organized largely around the according and preserving of dignity (face).
Affronts to dignity create immediate social “problems” that participants work to repair.
Humiliation requires “just redress”. Failure to supply “just redress” leaves an open social wound.
Dignity is central to individual and collective well-being.
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DignityPhysical and psychological integrity (safety, security)
Self-worth
Concern for others
Dignity: The Heart of Social Life
Individuals orient to one another as autonomous agents and take care to preserve dignity.
Politeness (e.g., requests not demands), bad jokes, accidental farts
Social acknowledgement, inclusive hand gestures
Recognizing what/that people already know
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Micro-practices of dignity in social interaction
Courtesy, politeness, embedded commands
Deference to social station (e.g., elders, leaders/roles)
Responses to failed jokes
Micro-politics of the accidental fart
Advice-design and receipt
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Dignity and Resistance
For many victims, humiliation is the primary affront, the most lasting and painful injury
“The bruises go away but you never forget what he said to you.”
“He got my body but he didn’t get me.”
Responses and resistance are often oriented to preserving, asserting dignity
The violence may be only the first in a series of indignities delivered through social responses
Our central task, whatever else we do, is to acknowledge the dignity of the victim
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Nelson Mandela
I learned my lesson one day from an unruly donkey. We had been taking turns climbing up and down on its back and when my chance came I jumped on and the donkey bolted into a nearby thorn bush. It bent its head, trying to unseat me, which it did, but not before the thorns had pricked and scratched my face, embarrassing me in front of my friends. Like the people of the East, Africans have a highly developed sense of dignity, or what the Chinese call "face". I had lost face among my friends. Even though it was a donkey that unseated me, I learned that to humiliate another person is to make him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate. Even as a boy, I defeated my opponents without dishonouring them. (1994, p. 11-12)
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Victim ResistanceEver present
Some of the best evidence of victim resistance, can be found in the actions perpetrators take to suppress anticipated resistance and overwhelm ongoing resistance
Victims take into account details of situation
Rarely effective in stopping the violence but this accentuates not diminishes its importance
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Lotta:
Margareta: Have things been okay at home? Lotta: Yes, but then yesterday mum and dad started fighting about something, but I just closed my ears. Margareta: What do you do when you close your ears? Do you use something to put in your ears? Lotta: No, I try not to care or try to talk to them about something else. Then I listen to really loud music so they’ll get angry at me instead.
Lotta responded by ignoring and distracting herself from the “fighting”, then by changing the topic, and finally by offering herself as the problem.
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Understanding the Forms of Resistance
Resistance, like violence, must understood in context.
In what context might the following acts be understood as forms of resistance to violence?
A teenage girl runs away from home and has multiple sexual partners.
A fourteen year old boy tells his step-father to come into his room.
Cyndy, a girl in foster care “cuts” herself repeatedly, nearly taking her own life.
A woman speaks of herself as mentally disordered.
A woman adopts the strategy of being raped.
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Offender Strategies and Victim Responses
If the offender tries to isolate the victim, virtually any way in which the victim refuses to be isolated can be a form of resistance.
If the offender tries to humiliate the victim, virtually any way in which the victim tries to retain her dignity can be a form of resistance.
If the offender tries to control the victim, virtually any way in which the victim tries to retain freedom can be a form of resistance.
If the offender tries to blame the victim, then virtually any way in which the victim “knows” or “feels” that they are not to blame can be a form of resistance.
etcetera . . .
A drop of longing says as much about the human spirit
as a grand gesture of love or defiance.
(Allan Wade and Rainer Maria Rilke)
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Kick a rock or kick a person
If you kick a rock . . .
If you kick a person . . .
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The “effects” and “responses” game
A house cat
An armed robbery
A child’s view of his parents’ divorce
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Rain causes umbrellas
Umbrellas are effects/impacts/consequences of rain
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Sexualized abuse causes depression, despair
Depression, despair is an effect/impact of sexualized abuse
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Resistance is a response to, not an effect of . . .
Interviewing methods for elucidating and honouring individuals’ responses and resistance to violence and oppression
Distinction between responses and effects
Applies to social interaction in general, and to forms of adversity other than violence
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Negative bias in the language of effects/impacts
A negative cause (spouse assault, rape) can produce only negative effects.
We cannot say . . .
Child sexualized abuse causes alert and effective parenting
Alert and effective parenting is one of the leading effects or impacts of child sexualized abuse
But we can say . . .
Many people respond to sexualized abuse by becoming alert and effective parents
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How the language of effects conceals responses/resistance
A friend . . .
A woman who is attacked by her partner . . .
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Response or effect?
“When I was 15 or so I was touched up by the optometrist, and its meant I’ve never actually worn my glasses.”
Example from Liz Kelly (1988)
Surviving Sexual Violence
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• Resistance and other responses to adversity cannot be represented in the language of effects or impacts.
• Human suffering cannot be adequately represented in a language of effects/impacts.
• The complex distress we experience in relation to violence is already a form of resistance.
• Against and for: What a person despairs against points to what they hope for.
• Despair signals the insatiable desire for dignity and safety.
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Violence is deliberate
(with rare exceptions)
Offenders anticipate and work to suppress victim resistance
• Bank robberies• Purse snatching• Biker hangouts• Child violation
Offenders exercise control even in the most “explosive” attacks
In wife-assault, there is typically a history of skilled and sensitive and respectful behaviour before the offender begins to abuse.
Offenders work to manage social responses
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Perpetrator Strategy and Victim Resistance
Victim engages in meaningful action force to do meaningless action (e..g, Road on Robben Island)
Victim speaks out against violence, gains support of others isolate, forbid to talk (e.g., Robben Island)
Victim closely bonded to and very loving of children attack mother child bond through violence, claims of parent alienation, and seek custody
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Violence is Social
a) action by one person against the will and well-being of another
b) involves two (or more) people, a victim and an offender
c) occurs on the level of social action or behaviour, not the mind
So . . . descriptions of violence should detail the actions of the offender and victim in context (including mental activities if possible/relevant).
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First account of sexualized assault:
He followed her down the sidewalk. He sped up to catch her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her to the ground. He dragged her toward the bushes. He overpowered her and dragged her into the bushes. He held a rock over her head and threatened to kill her if she screamed. He called her degrading names. He forced his mouth onto her face. He tried to undo her belt. He grabbed at her pant legs to pull them off. He overpowered her and vaginally raped her.
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Second account of sexualized assault:
He followed her down the sidewalk. She sped up. He sped up to catch her. She moved to the side. He grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her to the ground. She rolled on the ground to get away. He dragged her toward the bushes. She grabbed the roots of a tree so he couldn’t drag her into the bushes. He overpowered her and dragged her into the bushes. She started to scream. He held a rock over her head and threatened to kill her if she screamed. She stopped screaming. He called her degrading names. She said, “You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to hurt me.” He forced his mouth onto her face. She averted her face. He tried to undo her belt. She stuck out her stomach so that he could not undo her belt. He grabbed at her pant legs to pull them off. She crossed her ankles so that he could not pull off her pants. He overpowered her and vaginally raped her. She went to limp to avoid injury and went elsewhere in her mind.
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Contrasting Accounts
What is the difference between the two descriptions?
Which description is more complete and accurate?
What do we learn about the victim in the first description, the second description?
In which account does the full extent and deliberate nature of the violence stand out most clearly?
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Understanding InteractionTo describe violence accurately, one must describe the
interaction accurately:Convey the violation of dignityDescribe responses and resistance of victimDescribe perpetrator action
AND the nature of the interaction: Violence is Unilateral NOT mutual
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Violence is Unilateral
• Violence consists of actions by one person against the will and well being of another
• Mutual Acts vs. Unilateral Acts• Hand-shaking vs hand-shaking• Boxing• Kissing
• Mutual acts imply and entail consent, co-action, co-agency, joint activity
• “If you hit someone on the head with a frying pan, you don’t call it cooking.” (Anonymous Canadian genius)
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Unilateral Mutual
forced his mouth on hers
wife-assault, beating
forced vaginal penetration
beating, attack, assault
workplace bullying
invasion, genocide
international child rape
kiss
abusive relationships
sex, intercourse
fight, conflict, argument
personality conflict
war, conflict, historical relationship problem
sex tourist, sex with minors
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Assumed Equivalence in a Mutualizing Frame(with apologies for the heteronormative pronouns; from
Coates & Wade)
he had sex with hershe had sex with him they had sex together
he kissed hershe kissed himthey kissed
she was in a loving relationshiphe was in a loving relationshipthey jointly created a loving relationship
she was in an abusive relationshiphe was in an abusive relationshipthey jointly created an abusive relationship
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“comfort women”
“settlement”
“collateral damage”
“abusive relationships”
“sex with a minor”
“unwanted intercourse”
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Car theft is not “auto sharing”
Bank robbery is not a “financial transaction”
Similarly . . .
Wife-assault is not a “dispute” or “argument” or “abusive relationship”
Child rape is not “sex with a child” or “child prostitution”
Yet these constructions are commonplace in public and professional discourse.
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Mutualizing Interventions
Argument ~ anger management
workplace abuse ~ conflict resolution
child/spouse abuse ~ mediation
bullying ~ non-violent
communication
genocide ~ reconciliation
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Three Vocabularies
Violent/Unilateral Physical Mutual/Consensual
forced his mouth on hers had mouth to mouth contactkissed
forcibly grabbed her body touched her bodyfondled
attacked, assaulted hit, punched, pushedfought
threatened, humiliated yelled, insultedargued
forced vaginal penetration vaginal penetrationintercourse, sex
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Wife-Assault
The partners’ characteristics hold them together. . . . As abused partners adapt and become more compliant . . . the partners’ characteristics make them increasingly dependent on one another. After prolonged abuse they develop complementary characteristics: aggressive/passive, demanding/compliant, blaming/accepting guilt.
(Anonymous Family Violence Project, 2008)
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Wife-assault, Sexualized Assault: Judge’s Remarks “The appellant & his wife engaged in an argument . . . . Mr. X became upset over something said during this argument. He thereupon grabbed his wife’s neck, squeezing it until she nearly lost consciousness. He then let go. This brought the argument to an end. That the earlier of the two assaults arose spontaneously in the course of an argument is not in dispute. To that extent it can be said to have been unpremeditated. He was willing to take counselling in reference to his anger & his marital problems. He expressed his deep remorse for what had happened & his desire to improve the marriage. They went to bed and he said, ‘Jane, I’ll have to screw you one more time’, and he had intercourse with her. . . . It is obvious difficulties were present in the marriage.”
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Consent and Sexualized Violence Against Children
Canada, U.S., Australia, England and WalesChildren 15 or younger cannot give consent to sex(With some exceptions e.g., re children close in age)
Children do not understand the meaning or consequences
Do not have the social or physical power to stop the violence
Are often disbelieved and do not know who to trust
Therefore, they cannot consent.
Then . . . it is wrong – legally, morally, developmentally, socially – to portray children as engaged in sexual activity.
Still, children are often portrayed as sexual partners to violent adults, in media, criminal justice, mental health, etc. . .
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Macleans Magazine (2009): Priest sexually assaults three boys In 1969, John Swales and his brothers attended a summer camp for low income kids where they met a charming, larger than life volunteer named Father Barry Glendinning. [T]he priest soon became a surrogate big brother. He gained the trust of the boys’ parents, showered them with pizzas, movies and booze, and, when opportunity knocked, introduced them to sex. John was 10 years old when the first assault took place. “You name it, he did it,” Swales says. “The impact is so intense and so deep-rooted it is beyond my ability to express it. When you have sex at the age of 10 with your priest, it’s pretty weird.” John’s family won a landmark $1.3-million judgment against Glendinning and the London diocese, but not before a bitter court battle that dragged on for years
(see Coates & Wade)
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Priest
sexto sex
them to sexintroduced them to sex
when opportunity knocked, introduced them to sex
sexhave sex
have sex at the age of 10 withyou have sex at the age of 10 with your priest
when you have sex at the age of 10 with your priest its pretty weird
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Kamloops man accused of procuring sex with child(Vancouver Province Newspaper 2009)
A 33 year-old man who allegedly wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl remained in police custody Monday. The man was arrested Saturday night at a home in Kamloops where he went believing he was to meet a young child for sex. Police received a report from a person who said they had received a text message from the suspect. “The text allegedly asked the person to provide the suspect with a three-to-five-year-old girl for sex, and that he would pay for the service by way of a finder’s fee”, said Sgt. Scott Wilson. The man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes under Sec. 212 of the Criminal Code. Wilson said the suspect is known to police and was charged with a sexual-related offence with a person under 12 years of age in 2008. He was convicted of sex assault in 1999, police added.
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Kamloops man
sexsex from
sex from a three-to-five-year-old girlpurchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl
wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl
sexfor sex
a young child for sexmeet a young child for sex
believing he was to meet a young child for sex
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sexualsexual purposes
for sexual purposesprocuring for sexual purposes
the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes
Kamloops man cont’d
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Sexual Intent and Violent Acts:How False Descriptions Lead to False Inferences
“wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl”
“believing he was to meet a young child for sex”
“the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes”
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Alternative: Re: Kamloops man
violateviolate a young child
abduct and violate a young childplanning to abduct and violate a young child
Intent: “planning to abduct and violate”
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From Clear to Obscure
Active: Bob hit Sue.
Simple passive: Sue was hit by Bob.
Agentless passive: Sue was hit.
Nominalization: An assault took place.
Mutualizing: There was a domestic dispute.
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Dignity and Mutualizing Descriptions
Inaccurate descriptions that benefit the perpetrator and harm the victim are violations of the victim’s dignity
They act upon the victim rather than with the victim
In this way, they continue the objectification of the victim started by the perpetrator
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Conclusion
Mutualizing and misrepresenting violence is widespreadMedia, courts, psychology, psychiatry
Mutualizing harms victims and benefits offenders
• Reflected in sentencing patterns, associated with lower sentences
• Prosecution in Canada also mutualize, making case for the defense
• Occurs in cases of family law and domestic violence
• Occurs on a political level (e.g., “our historical relationship problem”)
• Shifts blame to victims and away from offenderse.g., “failure to protect”
• Conceals victim resistance and offender efforts to suppress that resistance
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False descriptions, which mutualize the spiritual and physical violation of children, violate the rights of children to equal benefit of the law.
There can be no:
“child prostitution”
“sex with a minor”
“an adult in a sexual relationship with a child”
These terms excuse offenders, co-opt the consent of children, and allow us to avoid doing the hard work required by the facts.
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Similarly,
There can be no:“comfort women”“violent relationships”“arguments that get out of hand”“forced intercourse”
The Charter Rights of victims of violence must be upheld
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Beverly Engel The emotionally abused woman is a particular type of woman, a woman who has established a pattern of continually being emotionally abused by those she is involved with, whether it be her lover or husband, her boss, her friends, her parents, her children, or her siblings. No matter how successful, how intelligent or how attractive she is, she still feels "less than" other people. Despite perhaps having taken assertion-training classes, she still feels afraid to stand up for herself in her relationships and is still victimized by her low self-esteem, her fear of authority figures, or her need to be taken care of by others. She was emotionally abused as a child, but she may or may not recognize how extensively this kind of childhood continues to affect her life. (Engel, 1990, p. 7)
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Beverly Engel The JEW is a particular type of woman, a woman who has established a pattern of continually being emotionally abused by those she is involved with, whether it be her lover or husband, her boss, her friends, her parents, her children, or her siblings. No matter how successful, how intelligent or how attractive she is, she still feels "less than" other people. Despite perhaps having taken assertion-training classes, she still feels afraid to stand up for herself in her relationships and is still victimized by her low self-esteem, her fear of authority figures, or her need to be taken care of by others. She was emotionally abused as a child, but she may or may not recognize how extensively this kind of childhood continues to affect her life. (Engel, 1990, p. 7)
57
Four Operations of Language
Conceals Responses and Resistance
Blames Victim
Conceals Violence
Obscures Responsibility
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Beverly Engel The emotionally abused woman is a particular type of woman, a woman who has established a pattern of continually being emotionally abused by those she is involved with, whether it be her lover or husband, her boss, her friends, her parents, her children, or her siblings. No matter how successful, how intelligent or how attractive she is, she still feels "less than" other people. Despite perhaps having taken assertion-training classes, she still feels afraid to stand up for herself in her relationships and is still victimized by her low self-esteem, her fear of authority figures, or her need to be taken care of by others. She was emotionally abused as a child, but she may or may not recognize how extensively this kind of childhood continues to affect her life. (Engel, 1990, p. 7)
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Separation and alleged “alienation” case
Couple with 1 child separate. Some aggression/violence by man, no reports.Mother custodial parent, open visits at first. Father often aggressive, yelling at exchanges. Mother slows visits.Son reports fear of father.Mother picks son up one day. Son reports, “Daddy punched me”.
Mother calls child protection, who refuse to investigate “custody and access dispute”. Mother calls supervisor, who agrees but sends out worker.
Mother takes son to doctor and police. Son discloses choking, bruising visible.Mother phones child protection, who refuse to talk to doctor or police.
Social worker attends home. Refuses to talk with mother alone.Defends father, having never met him. Tells mother she is anxious, to get therapy. Says mother is “alienating” son from his father.
Mother finds family law team, tries to get safety plan and co-parenting plan.
Husband agrees to counselor, then threatens with lawyer, begins to control plan.
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Kelly and Johnson Typology of Violence
Coercive Controlling Violence
A pattern of emotionally abusive intimidation, coercion, and control coupled with physical violence against partners.
Nearly half of physically abused women also report forced sex and others report abusive sex
Violent Resistance Both women and men may, in attempts to get the violence to stop or to stand up for themselves, react violently to their partners who have a pattern of Coercive Controlling Violence. “The research on intimate partner violence has clearly indicated that many women resist Coercive Controlling Violence with violence of their own.” (484)
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Situational Couple Violence
Similar rates by men and women, as measured by large survey studies and community samples, using the Conflict Tactics Scales
Minor forms of violence are typical of Situational Couple Violence, it can escalate into more severe assaults with serious injuries.
Thirty-two percent of perpetrators (all men) had committed at least one act of severe violence. High rates of injury, all women.
Separation- Instigated Violence
Violence that first occurs in the relationship at separation
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The CTS has been criticized for decontextualizing the violence and ignoring differences in power, gender, severity and injuries.
The category Situational Couple violence can include one or more instances of severe violence, not used equally or more often by women.
The notion that violence is gender symmetric ignores the frequency and severity of injuries to women and that men commit more severe forms of violence
The category violent resistance is applied only to women and, as a form of self-protection, is not violence in the same sense as the other types
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“With respect to Count 1, Criminal Harassment, I simply believe that given the evidence that I have heard, it would unsafe to convict on that Count. I refer to the fact that there certainly was an extremely angry, dysfunctional relationship between these two people. That there were things that Mr. Gordon said, and did, that might have upset Ms. Young but then she not only let him back into her life . . . she welcomed him back into her life. I simply cannot, under those circumstances, convict on Count 1.” “With respect to Counts 2 [uttering threats] and 3 [assault], however, we are now at the very end of this terrible relationship”.
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Judge’s Comments
The offender and complainant, consistent with their status as man and wife, shared a bed in the bedroom. In the early morning, the complainant awoke to find her self lying on her stomach with the offender on top of her. She felt pain in her vaginal area and soon realized that the offender was engaging in an act of penile vaginal penetration. The complaint informed the offender that he was hurting her and requested that he stop. The offender continued to have sexual intercourse with the complainant. The complainant again requested, indeed demanded, that the offender cease his activities. She tried to push the offender off but was unable to do so because of their weight differential. The offender continued to have sexual intercourse with the complainant until he ejaculated, at which time he rolled off the complainant.
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A Court is entitled to have regard to the effect upon a victim of an offender’s criminal conduct but only in regard to the consequences of an offence that were intended or could reasonably have been foreseen. I am persuaded that the offender was genuine when he said, “I had no idea that there was going to be like a long-term major effect on you”.
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Judge’s Comments cont’d.
Dr. Fried states and I accept that the offender is genuine in his desire to address his offending. A very detailed report has been prepared by Dr. Fried in which he analyzes the circumstances in which the offences came to be committed, namely and adjustment disorder with a disturbance of conduct and a personality trait involving adventurous risk-taking and a tendency to be rather compulsive.
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Summary
• Sexualized assault is mutualized .
• Judge contextualizes as normal marriage and mutualizes the assault in two ways; as sexual intercourse and as part of conjugal relations.
• Judge minimizes use of force.
• Psychologist minimizes violence, suggests it is a result of “adventurous risk-taking” and “compulsiveness”.
• Because the attack is sexualized, not seen as physical and psychological attack using force, the offender could seem to not know that there would be negative consequences. Why would you think “impulsive” or “adventurous” sex would be harmful?
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Social Responses
The term “social responses” refers to how family and friends, professionals, and the larger society (e.g., media, news, govt.) respond before and after violence is disclosed.
A majority of victims report receiving negative social responses.Examples: Wife-assault, child sexualized abuse.
The quality of social responses may be the single best predictor of:- the level of victim distress- victim involvement with authorities- victim disclosure of abuse
Already marginalized, oppressed people are more likely to receive negative social responses.
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What are Social Responses?
How others respond to victims, offenders and others involved during and after the violence.
Examples:• Family• Therapist• Court• State• Friends
Positive Social Responses Secure recovery, less distress, more cooperation with authorities
Negative Social ResponsesMore lasting/intense distress, more diagnoses, less
disclosure/cooperation
Already marginalized people (LGBTQ, Indigenous, Disabled, Poor) are more likely to receive negative social responses.
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SocialLocalContext
Violence Oppression
ResponsesResistanceTo Violence
SocialResponses
Responses To SocialResponses
Social Responses in Context
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Language and Social Responses
How the crime is “represented” is a social response.Portrays the victim and offenderReflects social categories and biasesBenefits some and not othersHas immediate consequences for allBecomes precedent in lawIs used in mediaIs the basis for theory and researchIs the basis for professional and academic work/theory
Note: Visual representation is included.
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False Descriptions and Social Responses
Negative social responses are built on false and prejudicial descriptions.
Research shows that violent crimes, victims, offenders are often misrepresented in criminal justice, media, mental health, and so on.
• Although victims invariably respond and resist, they are often portrayed as passive or only as affected or impacted.
• Although violence is deliberate, offenders are often portrayed as out of control, helpless victims of their biology or emotions.
• And, although violence is unilateral, it is often portrayed as mutual.
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Social Responses and Mutualizing:
Perpetrator: Unilateral
Act of Violence
Victim: Self Defence
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Social Responses and Mutualizing: Argument vs. Wife Assault
Unilateral Act of Violence
Resisted Physically by
Victim
Perpetrator Blames Victim
Police: Dual Charges
Ministry: Anger
Management for Victim, Failure to Protect Psychologists:
Situated Couples
Violence, Psycho-
Education for Both; DSM
Family Court: Parent
Alienation Because
Mom fears, give custody
to violent Dad
Criminal Courts:
Mitigated because Victim
responsible
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When you attack the mother-child bond, you attack the very soul of women, their very hope for the future, their very reason for living.
This is the reason so many perpetrators of violence seek custody of children.
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Women and Children’s Responses
Profound grief
Substance use to dull grief and intense fear
Refusal to be content
Suspicion of professionals, intense emotions
Desperate actions of protection
Changed Into
Mental disorder (depression; delayed development, defiance disorder), evidence of child abuse
Substance abuse
Mental disorder such as depression, personality disorder; defiance disorder
Mental disorder such as borderline personality disorder
Violence; suicide
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Together For JusticeLAWS
Women’s Shelter
RCMP
(Centre For Response Based Practice)
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In Dignity: Best Practices In Treating Victims With Respect
Join with the victim In Dignity:
Act with not upon Victim
Orient to the Dignity of the Victim
Recognize the need for social re-address of the dignity violation
Recognize the social responses
Understand your actions, interviews, reports are social responses and make them positive
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In Dignity: Best Practices In Treating Victims With Respect
Use accurate descriptions: unilateral and violent terms, not mutualLanguage of response, not language of effects
Victim resistance and perpetrator violenceActive voice, not passive or nominalizations
Centre for RBP Coates, L 2013 82
Ordinary people working Together In Dignity,
accomplish the extraordinary