! Youarenotyourown.

! Sexualintimacyinmarriageisnotonlyorultimatelyforyou.

TWOGUIDINGTHESES

! IntheRomanEmpirewhere4kindsofmarriageswerecommon

! “Tentcompanionship”betweenamanandawomanslave

! “Commonlawmarriage”! “Purchasedmarriage”! “Traditionalmarriage”

! Paulwaswritingtocorrectthatfaultythinking

UNDERSTANDTHECULTUREINWHICHTHENEWTESTAMENTWASWRITTEN

! ItwascreatedbyGOD! ItwasstillcalledHONORABLEaftersinhadenteredtheworld(Prov.5:18-19;Heb.13:4)

! SexinmarriageisanactofWORSHIPthatisdoneforGod’sGLORY.(1Cor.10:31)

PRINCIPLE1—SEXINMARRIAGEISPUREANDHOLY(1COR.7:2)

! Sexualrelationsinmarriagearenotonlyholy,buttheyaredesignedtokeepusholy.

! Withthestatementinverse2,Godsays“NO”totheCorinthianphilosophyofverse1andexhortsbelieverstoengageinafullconjugallifewiththeirspouses.

PRINCIPLE2—SEXINMARRIAGEISAGIFTTOPROTECTOURPURITY

! Whilesexispartofmarriage,sexdoesnotequalmarriage.(It ’snotallaboutsex.)

! ThemostsignificantreasonformarriageisasanexpressionofourloveforChrist.

PRINCIPLE3—SEXISNOTTHEBASISFORMARRIAGE. MARRIAGEISNOTFIRSTANDFOREMOSTAPHYSICALUNION

! What1Corinthians7:3means

! Someimplicationsofthisverse:

! Themessageofthisversecanbemadeinfourwords:“DON’TDEPRIVEYOURSPOUSE.”

! SexualintimacyinmarriageisnotaSUPERFLUOUSextra:itisamutual(joyful)OBLIGATION.

! SexualintimacyinmarriageisanexpressionofSELFLESSGIVING.

PRINCIPLE4-THEPRIMARYGOALOFSEXISGIVING—PROVIDINGFORYOURSPOUSE(1COR.7:3)

! Theword“authority”meansCONTROL

! BothhusbandandwifehavetheSAMEcommand.

! SexualintimacyinmarriagetestsyourwillingnesstoSUBMITtoyourmate’sAUTHORITY.

! Butdon’thusbandsandwiveshavedifferentlevelsofsexualdesire?

PRINCIPLE5—GODHASCREATEDBOTHHUSBANDANDWIFEWITHEQUALABILITYTOSATISFYEACHOTHER

! “Depriving”isafailureto“fulfillone’sduty”forSELFISHreasons.

! ThereareonlythreeconditionsforABSTINENCEwithinmarriage(theymustallbemet):

! ItisaMUTUALagreement

! IthasaDEFINITEend! ItisforaSPIRITUALPURPOSE

PRINCIPLE6—SEXISTOBEREGULAR,RECIPROCAL,ANDCONTINUOUS(1COR.7:5)

! TherearealsothreemoreCONSIDERATIONS(warnings)aboutabstinence:

! LimitabstinenceinmarriagesothatSatan’sPURPOSESareTHWARTED

! LimitedabstinenceisPERMITTED,itisnotCOMMANDED

! “SPIRITUALLIFE”isnevertobeapretextfordenyingyourmate

PRINCIPLE6—SEXISTOBEREGULAR,RECIPROCAL,ANDCONTINUOUS(1COR.7:5)

! Howoftenshouldcoupleshavesex?

! SexshouldbeoftenenoughtoSATISFYeachother(1Cor.7:4,Prov.5:19)

! SexshouldbeoftenenoughtoavoidTEMPTATION(1Cor.7:5)

! Sexshouldbeconsiderate,PREFERRINGeachother(Phil.2:3-4)

PRINCIPLE6—SEXISTOBEREGULAR,RECIPROCAL,ANDCONTINUOUS(1COR.7:5)

! Truth1:Ignoringafather’sbest(andloving)counselproducesfoolishness(v.1)

! Truth2:Indulgingadulteresseswilldiminish(notdestroy)shepherdingopportunities(v.2)

! Truth3:Justbecauseitsoundsgooddoesn’tmeanitisgood(vv.3-4)

! Truth4:Adulteroussinisdeadly(vv.5-6)

PRINCIPLE7—SEXUALSINLOOKSENTICING. ITISALIE(PROV.5:1-14)

! Truth5:Stayasfarawayfromadulteryaspossible(vv.7-8)

! Truth6:Adulterywilldrain“life”fromyourlife(vv.9-11)

! Truth7:Adulteryonlyproducesregret(ultimately)(vv.12-14)

PRINCIPLE7—SEXUALSINLOOKSENTICING. ITISALIE(PROV.5:1-14)

! Truth1:Listeningtoafather’sbest(andloving)counselproduceswisdom(v.1)

! Truth2:Avoidingadulteresseswillprovideshepherdingopportunities(v.2)

! Truth3:Evaluatingwords&emotionstruthfullywillprotectyourheart(vv.3-4)

PRINCIPLE7—SEXUALSINLOOKSENTICING. ITISALIE(PROV.5:1-14)

Therearealsocorrespondingandoppositetruthstotheseprinciples:

! Truth4:Martialfaithfulnessisajoyfulfruitoflife(vv.5-6)

! Truth5:Maritalfaithfulnesscanbeattainedandenjoyed(vv.7-8)

! Truth6:Maritalfaithfulnesswillsupplement“life”toyourlife(vv.9-11)

! Truth7:Maritalfaithfulnessproducesjoyandgratitude(vv.12-14)

PRINCIPLE7—SEXUALSINLOOKSENTICING. ITISALIE(PROV.5:1-14)

! DelightinthePERSON

! “Rejoice…”! “…inthewife…”! “…ofyouryouth”

! DelightintheSEXUALRELATIONSHIP! Bewareoffalsedelights(v.20)

PRINCIPLE8—SEXISFORPLEASURE(PROV.5:18-19)

PRINCIPLE9—SEXISFORGOD’SGLORY(PROV.5:20-23)

! Everyonehasa“gracious”giftfromGod—someforCELIBACY,someforMARRIAGE.

! Whichevergiftyouhave,useitforGod’sGLORY(1Cor.6:20).

PRINCIPLE10—BOTHSEXANDCELIBACYAREGOD’SGRACIOUSGIFTS—USETHEMGRACIOUSLY(1COR.7:7-9)

! Renewyourmind—

! Sexisanactofworship! Sexisaboutobedience! Sexisaheartrevealer,notaheartsolution! Sexisagifttogive,notarighttotake! Sexisadelight(inmarriage)

IMPLICATIONS—WHATYOUWILLWANTTOTEACHYOURCOUSELEESABOUTBIBLICALSEXUALITY:

! Putoff—

! EveryperversionofGod’ssexuality! Manipulating,pleading,orforcingrelationswithyourspouse

! Anger,bitterness,andresentmentwhenIdon’tgetwhatIwant

IMPLICATIONS—WHATYOUWILLWANTTOTEACHYOURCOUSELEESABOUTBIBLICALSEXUALITY:

! Puton—

! ThemindofChrist

! Actsofservicefor1)yourspouse,and2)others! Givingsexualitytoyourspouseasanexpressionofloveforher/himandyourloveforChrist

! ThankGodforeveryactofintimacy—andevery“denial.”

IMPLICATIONS—WHATYOUWILLWANTTOTEACHYOURCOUSELEESABOUTBIBLICALSEXUALITY: